>first stop in the gym: The Squat Rack!

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>I listen to music in the gym

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Sometimes I do sets below 8 reps

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>listens to rap while lifting

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>I listen to metal while lifting and pretend that I am a mighty viking about to go to battle! I even have my wallpaper on my computer saved as a mighty viking with a motivational quote to go with it!

>>34901352
Fuck, this is me. Without the
quote though.

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>I don't go hard enough on leg day to get DOMS.

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>That's not Mark Rippetoe, that's Roger Estep.

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>Don't round your back when deadlifting! You might get a strong lower back and become stronger than me and take my gf.

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>Be sure and retract your meme-ula when benching! Wouldn't want to get strong shoulders, might fuck around and make it or something and we wouldn't want that now would we??

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>>34901482
>Justin Bieber is a twink and I could kick his ass. I don't care if he trains with the undefeated champ Floyd Memeweather, I can pick up 405lbs from the ground to my waist 5 times in a row!

>>34900916
>dissing SS
I'm doing it for my first month of liftan and it's pretty good, whats the issue?

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>Don't use a thumbless grip on bench press. If you're anything like me, and don't value forearm/grip strength at all, you're gonna wanna use a regular grip with your thumbs OVER the bar!

dis some frustrated ass nigga

>>34901496
I'm dying here, why is this so funny

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>I lift to get women

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>meme roller

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>"Oh, what's that, you're doing lowbar "squats" with 405 lbs, or as we Olympic Weight-Lifting gentlesirs prefer to call them: Good-mornings with 180 kilograms?"
>"Itis quite the sight, now please observe as I work up to my one-rep max of a mindblowing sixty kilograms"
>"Oh no good sir, I am in no way "DYEL", for these are actual full squats"
>"Quite indeed good sir; I not only break parallell, but I also abhor the use of crutches like belts and knee sleeves"
>"By this virtue alone, I am stronger than you, for you see, no mindless cretin "power-lifter" can aspire to lift weight as cumbersome as this with equally flawless technique - You quite simply do not have the mental fortitude, as evidenced by you seeking the path of least resistance with your ridiculous "squats", which barely hit parallell"

>proceed to power rack to do some squats
>some retard put the bar on the highest pin and is doing chinups on it

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>>34901574

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>bulking

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>>34901509
This is solid advice posted with pictures of neckbeards to trick people into doing the opposite.

>>34901656
Memes are confusing :/

>>34901456
Why would you round your back, having a flat back is part of the correct form retard.

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>>34900916
You're goddamn right

>>34901670
Get memed on dyel redditor

>>34901670
That's the joke
Do you even meme arrow

The squat rack used to be my first stop until I realized that doing squats first was killing my performance on every other exercise except deads

>I seed torrents

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>Milk? Heh, heh. No thank you. You see, I hold myself to a higher standard - a true, willful man like myself only drinks his coffee black, like the cowboys of old. I see myself a lot like Clint Eastwood, actually. Only weak-minded fools dilute their coffee, much like how they undoubtably dilute their aryans genes. Now, I have to go - I'm late for my iaido class.

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>>34901776
>I stopped squatting because I'm weak

>>34901820

I still squat though, I just do it last.

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>>34901406
>Spaghetti man

>>34901837
That's very interesting how is the rest of your life going while we're updating your blog?

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>lifting... Weights?
>oh, please. As if that will help you in life. I on the otherhand am expanding my knowledge through literature such as The God Delusion. You see, people like me are the true kings of the world. You filthy peon.

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>Oh my notebook? I'm writing a story. I write in it and read it at the gym. The title: "The Strongest Version of Myself".

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>I let other people work in with me. I'd probably even let them fuck my wife while I watch if they requested it. I'm definitely not a kek though!

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>I arrange the barbell so that it is perpendicular with or parallel to any surrounding straight lines including breaks in the flooring, ceiling structures, walls. I feel that my lift is unbalanced if not.

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>At the gym Nicky helps me get the heavy dumbells up (we do 60 lb DBs) at the beginning of DB shoulder press. And he maintains contact with my arms the whole time and helps me lock them out. I drop them on the ground and high five my boy Nicky after I finish my set. We run that bitch.

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>warm showers

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>I have written down the holes to place the hooks and safety rails

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>Gotta open up those memeductors!

there is no saving this board

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>I rerack my weights, I'd probably even let the gym owner literally fuck me in the ass since I like to do everyone favors and all.

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>>34901879

>Chapter 1: Weighted Dips

>>34901879
>Chapter One: Weighted Dips

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>cold showers

holy shit these threads are hilarious

keep up the good work guys

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>I have a number of specific movements and cues that I execute before each lift in order to ensure that my body is correctly positioned and ready for vigorous exercise. I call this, "The Set Up."

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>>34901952
>Whoa whoa whoa buddy, you gotta start by meme rolling your IT meme! If Joe DeMemeo has taught me anything, it's that the Meme 11 is optimal for warming up. And as such you must meme roll the IT memes before the memeductors.

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>I wipe my ass

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>I eat meat

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>the ultimate fierce gentleman exercises not to impress the opposite sex, but to gain his own approval

>>34901879
>Chapter Two: OHP in the squat rack

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>My shorts don't go past my knees.

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>soy has no effect on estrogen levels

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>lifting in shorts

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>you die one in an accident
>nobody will understand why you have an entire folder of men wearing fedoras

>>34902206
unless they do

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>I would NEVER wear a hat to the gym! Especially not a New Era Flat Brim

>>34902206

My fedorolder is my least embarrassing but I'll be dead anyway so i don'g give a fuck t b q h f a m

>>34902237
Because it's your fetish?

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>>34902206
>mfw they see my whipping folder

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>Strength is for men.

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>>34902280
>mfw they see my wincest folder

>>34902313
kek'd

>>34902280
God senpai.

>>34902313
>you will never be adopted or have a mother in law...

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>>34901670

>Why would you round your back, having a flat back is part of the correct form retard.

>>34900939
>MOM, take a picture

>>34902206
I was on a tinder date one time and was showing other screenshots I had from tinder pics and she was looking through my pics with me and all of the sudden me swiping through like 8 fedora pics on my phone. She was like "haha what is that?" And I just said its a joke and never gave a straight answer. Sophisticated satire clearly intimidated her.

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>Anabolic Window

>>34902386
>bruh you only got 30 seconds to get your protein in after you work out or it just turns into fat

>>34901369

Whatever makes you happy, man. I'm into pirates.

Just never tell anyone about it.

>>34901853
Pretty good, you'll have a new "sister" in 9 months m8. Thank your mom for me too

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>cardio is for pussys

>>34901574
>>34901585
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>34902375

liked 'n subscribed, m8

>>34902313

>your mom sees your wincest folder

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>>34902206
Reminded me of this.

>>34902280
So, uhhh, sauce?

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>>34902313
>>34902609

>>34901369
so you're the guy in picture? Lose the stache, man

>>34901903
holy shit someone else who thinks like this

>>34902280
>>34903056
You need help.

>>34903202
why?
it's much more normaler than
>>34902827
>>34902313

>>34903247
You're addicted to porn unless you actually do that to your gf in which case you need to serve time for abuse. Either way you need help.

>>34903306
not if she likes it, friend

>inb4 implying she's real
she's not

also i'd be the beta kek taking it 2bh

>>34902932
nah thats vvvortic a well-known league of legends troll, and that's his avatar.

>>34901482
literally doing this increased my bench by like 30 pounds. shit MeeM

>>34903407
Welcome to lifting newbitch.

>>34903420
I know I'm posting in a dumb fucking meem thread and what I'm typing is read by imbeciles, but honestly even after lifting for like the past 10 years I have never heard of anyone explicitly explaining until like a year ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJ5iCcKzg2Q

video link for anyone interested in turning their bench the fuck up.

>>34903499
God fucking damnitt I fucking KNEW you would post that reddit ass video. Fuck the mother fuck off. Literally DO NOT give out advice if all you get your info from is youtube or reddit.

>>34903499
b2reddit dyel

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>>34900916
> My gym doesn't have a squat rack, only a smith machine.
Fugg.

>>34901943
Lol'd hard at this

>>34901369
do you listen to sabaton?

>>34901943
Finally found myself.. God damnit

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>I utilize an oxygen restricting mask to simulate the conditions of the Alps where those who conquer Everest train.

Bumpedora.

>>34902104
Fuck, this one always comes out of nowhere and gives me a good laugh