Self-deprecating Thread

you can deepen your voice if you keep speaking a little deeper

>Currently 6,1
Would like to be about 6,3, I find being taller than 6,3 gives off that 'beanpole' look
>Better jawline
I mean mine only appears at certain angles so it is basically trash
>Better chin
Have a slight indent and it isn't small but would prefer a wider one

>>12462171
undo circumcision
that's all

6' to 6'3, no body hair, better pores. That's it. Well it's nothing visible but my jaw got fucked up and I can't open it fully anymore, so while we're at it, that too.

>>12462171
>i would make myself taller
but i suppose i cant complain. my dad is 5'7 and my mom was 4'11 so i got fucking lucky.
>better skin
face is clear but have always suffered from minor bacne, only goes away during summer
>better hairline
i have an m shaped hairline, i am not balding but i would like it to be more rectangular

taller - im 5'10 id make myself 6'2

im happy with my face but id change it slightly, id like to be one of those people who even if they gain weight, none if goes to their face (i get the beginnings of a double chin 10lbs overweight)

id have bigger hands

id make my hair either curlier or straighter - its just sort of lank and never looks good in any style

>>12462272
forgot to mention i am 5'11.

thicker hair
esp so that my right sideburn doesnt curl up

remove bitch hips
thats really it

>>12462171
I'd have foreskin wrap around all of my body, up to my neck like a turtle neck

I'd probably get a nose job as my nose is quite buttony and child-like, more voluminous hair, wider hips, and sightly bigger boobs.
My eyes are a bit wonky too so i'd want them to be even.

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ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING LMAO

There is so much that is wrong with me

Just put my brain into this 6'2 guy's head senpai
https://www.instagram.com/p/BIErcyPhrmO/?taken-by=davidlaid

I need new HEIGHT FACE FRAME, I can't live like this for much longer

>>12462602
david laid is my man crush

Would definitely become shorter so can be a petite smol girl, everything else is okay i guess

>>12462613
how tall are you? I can't see any reason why you would want to be shorter

lots.
taller- from barely 5ft to 5'8 or so
nose- make it thinner and more prominent
jaw- recess it
eyes- one is fucking bigger than the other
hips- make them a bit wider
torso- make it longer

>>12462171
>5'11 to 6'3 or 6'4
>better nose (my nose looks pretty good now but I got ps, I wish I was born with the way it is now)
>thicker bones, family has large bulky bones, I'm the only wristlet in the family, even my mother's wrists are larger than mine.
>blue eyes, my mother has blue eyes and so does one of my brothers but I inherited shitty green eyes from my dad
>thicker, wavier hair, my hair is thin and straight as fuck

>>12462171
im not even a model but i wouldnt really change anything about my face since it makes me unique

i would make myself a bit taller though im 5'7

>>12462171
deeper voice, taller, bigger and thicker dick, more symmetrical face

nothing cause I am who I am and I already got over a fact that I'm not handsome

6'5 to 6'2
stronger/wider jawline and chin
Straighter forehead (mine slopes backwards)
Smaller head in general
Thinner lips

thicker hair and naturally skinny body, that's about it though, happy with my face, my height (5ft 5 kek), hands, peen, pretty much everything but weight and hair.

Wish I was a girl. More fashion options in general in addition to being able to use weeaboo shit in your outfits without having as much of a hard time as males.

>>12463077
>tfw would wear women's clothes if skinnier

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Smaller head, 5cm more of height and a beard, I have goblin ears too lmao

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I think my ears are too big.

What /fa/ thinks?

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Change hair from nappy afro to literally anything else

Slimmer neck and stronger jawline

Dats it

pic not me ofc

>>12463077
I'm a girl and I kind of wish I was not? Well not so much that it really bothers me and I hate my sex and body and all, but I actually really prefer male clothing. Somehow it feels just so much more comfortable and I just feel better in it overall and it looks more suitable for me, I think. But "luckily" I have a pretty boy-like body and can just as well wear clothing for both sexes. But obviously that is kind of weird to some people. Jeans for men are a lifesaver though, at least these have pockets in which you can actually put stuff.

>>12462284
Lucky cunt
My dad is 6'0 mum is 5'4 I played every sport, ate incredibly healthy and slept pretty well but I maxed out at barely 5'10

I'd make myself 6'4, slightly wider chin and a better hairline

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Turn myself from being a 3/10 into a 6/10

>>12462226
Cutfags when will they learn?

>>12463280
Yeah woman's jeans always look awful to me. I cant tell you how many times Ive seen a skirt though and wanted it but refrained on account of being unable to wear it.

id lose all my body fat and get a broader jawline. The rest looks good already desu

>>12463255
ahahaha shit its this guy again

>>12462171
>20 cm taller
>Straight nose instead of Jew nose
>Smaller ears to go with a straight nose
>less hair on ass, legs and back
>more beard and chest hair
>better jawline
>be white instead of Swedish/Iranian

>>12462171
>4 inches taller
>Straight Hair instead of my curly rats nest
>Fix Teeth

>>12463258
They're not big, they just kinda stick out, and in addition your face shape emphasizes that.

IMO you don't look bad but I'm guessing you'd look a hell of a lot better with a different hairstyle. Long top short sides is popular but it doesn't suit you, try something bolder and I think you'll look much nicer

>>12462171
I'll take a stronger jawline and less puffy cheeks.
A extra inch or two on my peenie would be cool too I guess. Lighter eyes would also be neat, not so much a color change, just lighter in general.

curlier hair
non brown eyes
few inches taller
thicker lips
wider cheek bones

Add 6" to my height to 6'5", Arnold's chest and bicep genetics, wider shoulders, add 2 " to length and girth of penis to hit 9x8, fix hairline, wider jaw, icy blue eyes instead of slight heterochromia green/brown mix, increase BMR by 300-500 calories, increase natural testosterone levels to 10x max natty levels so I don't need steroids for way higher muscle gains, ensuring that all other hormone levels are kept optimal.

Can't think of much else atm though.

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Get a penis bigger than 3 inches hard

>>12462171
I'm 5'4 and 279 pounds with a baby dick.

>>12462171
Yeah fuck you bromagnon I'm 5'9

I have a wide chest, shoulders but forearms and wrists are thin, those should be thicker (as in the bones)

Benis circumference could get a slight buff while we're at it, 6.3in length is good

>>12464410
this is basically me except i'd also like a less nasal voice.

Tbh I'd just be happy if I have clear skin.

>acne will go away when you grow older
hahaha nope

>>12465479
even if it does you'll still have that nasty ass bumpy skin, sorry dude

>>12462171
I'm fine with my height (5'10", I'm skinny and I have a nice face and really nice eyebrows, but my fucking fat belly sometimes pokes out of my shirt and I have very very VERY minor gyno so puffy nipples. KMS

Bigger dick, more facial and body hair and a less barrel shaped chest.

oh boy

>lose fat on cheeks and better jawline
>wider shoulders
>1in taller
>gain muscle rn i'm 6'0 140
>bigger dick i'm like 5.5"-6"
>bigger eyes
>bigger feet by one size
>better hairline(working on it just started fin)
>less round face
>smaller nostrils

it's probably better to just accept how I look for the most part, this stuff is bad for you to think about

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>Grow out of being a manlet
>regrow penile foreskin
>correct staggering face assimetry
>thinner eyebrows
>thinner lips
>longer penile
>less gay voice
>being able to actually grow fucking facial hair

It hurts to live.

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>no acne/bacne
>whiten teeth
>make hair less wavy
>dick longer by an inch

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>de-jew nose [im not jewish]
>make ears proportionate
>remove shoulder hair

>>12465589
Get body hair removed with laser treatment. It will be one of the best decisions you ever make

>>12465589
Honestly, your nose is a very distinguishing factor of your face and doesn't look bad by any means.

The type of face a concept artist drawing a lead character but not wanting to do the stereotypical beauty standards, but still wanting an attractive anti-hero protagonist would go for.

>>12465589
Your nose looks great my dude. Be proud of it

I agree about the shoulder hair though.

>>12462798
>blue eyes > green eyes
literally wat

Symmetrical nose, sharper jawline then I become a perfect 10/10.

>>12463502
why only 6

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>5'8
>weak chin/oval jaw
>weak and flabby manlet body

worst of all
>no motivation to better myself/bring closure to these insecurities

Also, I've had two haircuts my entire life. My parents gave me a bowl cut until I was about 14 and now I wear a grown out shitty mess that doesn't fit my face because I'm too nervous to ask the barber for something in style.

make myself a girl

>>12466850
10/10s are too boring, I want to be a pivotal figure.

>>12466899
>10/10s are too boring
i can get that but is there really a downside to being 7 or 8?

I'm 6"4 160 pounds I have a face that looks like a sack of potatoes, too autistic to find close that fit just right so I just wear sweats and joggers

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>>12466844
they're the shitty kind of green eyes, there's a brown splash in the middle, i'm not even sure if i should call them green desu

>>12462171
I like how I am already
I wanna be old though, like I wanna be 50 or 60 or there abouts and look like I have seen some shit, deep wrinkles, graying hair and face that looks like it was shaped with an axe from a block of wood with a skin like a sailor, think Tom Waits, Steve Buscemi and Willem Dafoe
that'll happen in time though but fuck waiting
that being said, bigger dick, duh

>>12466937
Seriously not a bad color at all, I get a lot of compliments on it

>>12462589
That's interesting, because when I do my makeup, I tend to shade my nose to make it look more buttony

>>12462171
I'd change my FUCKING BUBBLE NIPPLES and wide hips
I'm sick of looking like a trap in some japanese perverts anime fantasy

Make myself 7'6 so I can play in the NBA

Hollow cheeks
Better thicker darker hair
Nicer smile
Slightly more muscle(think ottermode)

>>12462171
Mostly look older, although I don't know how. I am 32 and still get mistaken for high schooler, even after dropping a few grand on some nice traditional tailored suits which I thought would help after doing research. On dates, job interviews, team projects, etc... it has become clear to me that despite completing over half my doctorate in Chemical Engineering and having worked on some interesting projects nobody takes me seriously, because all they see is some little kid. It is finally getting to me as I thought it would change with time as I got older, but I still look the same. My few friends joke if things don't pick up I'll turn into a super villain.

Also drop 15 lbs and add 3 inches to my height, but really I am not that bad looking so that is minor stuff.

>>12462171
Get rid of my lisp. It's nearly gone due to my confidence rising i guess but i still notice it sometimes and it bugs me desu

>>12465492
>nasty ass bumpy skin
Yeah well I already have that. And scars.

Doesn't really matter now I guess. I've learned to accept it.

>>12467145

Get some cool tattoos. Kids don't have tats.

I hate having fine hair

It has no volume at all so I always need to use a shit-ton of hair products or else it looks like crap.

From a certain angle, you could think that my hair is thinning but it's not.

>5'9 to 6'
>get rid of my terrible keratosis pilaris
>get rid of shitty mongoloid hair

I would get rid of my extremely thick thighs that make me look like a girl with wide hips.

Then I'd make myself a shower not a grower, then make myself 6'2, and have a killer jawline.

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be taller, change forehead and chin, make face more square not so round, be skinnier, have straight hair

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>>12463798
he never fucking leaves, it's impressive

>>12466937
i have brown around and green in the middle UwU

>>12467244
straight hair is shit though, believe me, it fucking sucks

I would get rid of my hair whorl and get thinner thighs. Probably also make my eyes more light green coloured, since they almost look moss green at this point.

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>>12467276
tfw got curly as fuck hair, so thick i cant make it straight even using products and shit, and my face only works with straight hair, reee..

>>12467048
read it as "blue nipples" at first

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>5'11
>80+kg
>fat nose, balls chin, curly hair, wide hips, bacne, have to go get a circumcision some day, round face, large structure, puffy nipples, man boobs, shit generic eyes, poor

Get on my level fags

>>12463799
No, no don't tell me.

That's disgusting.

Was your mom the sandnigger or was your dad?

Fucking Sweden.

>>12466903
Because my personality is a 2/10, I don't want to go too high or people will think I'm a psycho

Change my face skin to clear and without scars. Then I could see my normal face and decide details that I don't like. Would remove pectus excavatum as well because now to get tan I go to shitty places that wouldn't have any people and I could remove my shirt.

I took picture for student passport and apart from photoshoping out my red pimples I think I looked good

>>12462282
'bigger hands'

is this code for larger penis?

>>12467310

>have to go get a circumcision some day

Phimosis?

>>12467644
Phimosis is easily treatable in most cases at home, full circumcision is not needed even in severe instances, they call that operation somehow differently

>>12467644
>Phimosis
yes

>>12467666
how to fix phimosis pls

Is it literally just stretch every day?

>>12462171

am 5'5

you whiny cunts at 5'9 + complaining need to fuck right off.

>>12467757
>I have stage 5 cancer
>All you people with stage 4 cancer need to fuck off

>>12467750
worked for me, did take two years though and it's still really sensitive

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>>12467789
>2 years

>>12467757
same, life is suffering

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6'3" happy with my height.

>better skin
I break out very often and my skin looks like total shit.

>smaller nose
I'm okay with my nose, I just find it looks a bit big sometimes.

>Shitty hair
Hair always gets greasy and messy, and no style compliments it well.

>terrible beard genetics
Any time any facial hair grows on me it looks patchy and gross, can't grow a full beard unfortunately.
Otherwise I wouldn't have that many complaints as I'm kind of comfortable with the way I look. I accept I'll never look amazing and I'm totally fine with that. More worried about my mood in general than my appearance, gained a lot of weight.

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>>12467721

You don't need to get circumcised. You think that your foreskin is really tight, but it's just very old smegma acting like superglue between your foreskin and glans.

To fix, try pull it back a bit more every day in the shower (being erect helps). Only took me a few days, had the same issue when I was like 15 and found a post not unlike the one I'm writing right now.

Once it's pulled back you'll have to scrape off all the old smegma, pretty gross but satisfying desu. It'll be all dry and baked in.

Enjoy your new dick!

>>12467833
>being erect helps
I'm not the guy you were talking to but I have this thing where I can pull back my skin just fine but when it's erect I can't even get close to it. It's like my penis gets bigger but the skin is not elastic enough.
Why am I telling you this?

I'm skinny and weak, my butt looks pretty gross I think (just floppy and hairy and shit) and my penis is overly sensitive.
Also my back is a mess full of stretch marks though it's gotten better.

>>12467864
Also deep fucking confession sometimes when I'm bored I grab my ass hairs with my hands and pull them out god only knows what kind of patchy mess my ass looks like.
Jesus christ I'm the most gross person to ever live help me.

>>12467878
I do that all the time. I wouldn't worry about it. it's not something I'd admit to people that openly though.

no fap restores your hair
it fixed me

>>12467881
Oh me neither, I'm just fairly confident noone will somehow find who I am in real life and expose myself and hide under anonymity.

>tad bit taller
Currently like 5'11.5" would love to just push that to 6 foot thankd
>my thighs
My thigs are pretty thicc, friends always comment when i wear "skinny" jeans, just need to slim some fat off (ill probably just do some biking)
>my face profile
I have a pointy jew nose from the side and my forhead slants back in the same direction and it looks bad

>thicker, healthier hair
Fair, fine hair that looks wrinkly and coarse if I don't blow-dry it = fuckin lame. It doesn't look awful but it's a waste of a nice color

>a less jutting chin
This is my main unattractive feature. The rest is fixable, subjective or minor but this gives me a weird, pointy profile that will forever keep the "sort of" in front of the "cute"

>better posture
I'm making progress on that, but I usually forget and so I undersell myself

>a genuine smile on command
I'm very tired of the awkward half smirk that doesn't reach my eyes

>>12465450
I'll make it bigger than 3 inches hard anon xx

>>12462171
2" longer legs (making me 6'3), better chin & a nosejob and im flawless imo.

>>12463345
I am literally exactly the same as you bro, how much does it suck

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>Slimmer more fluid waist
but still be toned as fuck

>reduce nose size a bit, Not really but but I hate how it looks.

>have beautiful face
Cos looks is errythang

>reduce feet size
I'm 6'4" but I hate my big feet. Ruins everything

>more defined but beautiful Jaw line

>clearer skin with no spots at all or marks or humps.

>unique eye colour that attracts people
I think it'd be cool to have a unique natural eye colour just 4 bants