How do I take body measurements without a tape measure?

I fucking loathe images like this

>>12232183
I thought it was pretty funny

Do you have any measurement tips

>>12232199
Yeah, buy 1 meter of rope at your local hardware store then make a noose from it and hang yourself.

>>12232225
Fucking retard
If I had the ability to go to a hardware store I'd just buy a tape measure there
Obviously since I made this thread, I cannot do that

Dumbass

>>12232166

Use a ruler.

Get some string and mark your measurements on that string. From that point get a fucking ruler or something.

>>12232273
I don't have a string either.

use you dick to measure out an inch, 11 more times and then you got a foot. you can use paper.

kek you cant be fucking serious

its 3 dollars at your local convenience store there is literally NOTHING stopping you from going out and buying a tape measurer

>>12232300
have you discovered fire yet? or do you not have access to that either?

>>12232166
just buy a tape measure you fucking inbred,

actually just buy a rope and hang yourself; you're beyond saving

a noose

File: 1483996651619.jpg (28KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 400x400px

>>12232310
>>12232323
I'M NOT IN A FUCKING POSITION TO GO OUT AND BUY ONE YOU FUCKING DOUBLE DIGIT IQ IDIOTS
IF I WERE WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BE MAKING THIS THREAD
HOW HARD IS THIS TO UNDERSTAND
FUCK ALL OF YOU

>>12232342
Are you stationed in Syria or something? Are you underage without a car? Why would you be unable to buy a tape measure?

>>12232342

You must be a fucking moron if you can't find something that is a universal size, then find a bit of string/belt/ toilet roll and work it out from there.

File: swat_3.jpg (83KB, 598x336px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 598x336px

>>12232342
y tho

are you being held hostage op? we'll send a team after you hang in there buddy

File: 1186895962972.jpg (335KB, 1200x1200px) Image search: [Google]

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>>12232262
What this guy said op, just use a ruler on your body!
:3
saged

>>12232358
>>12232370

I'm in an empty classroom right now, and I would have to walk a good distance to get to a convenience store. No car because city college student

>>12232359
You're the fucking moron faggot.
>string
As I mentioned no string

>belt
I'm wearing ill fitting pants right now to be comfy on a sunday, if I take my belt off they'd fall down

>toilet roll
If you think I'm going to go to the restroom and take out 60in of toilet paper, mark it up with a ruler, and then wrap it around myself, you are sadly mistaken.

>>12232377
Then don't measure yourself dumbass.
Because you're lazy, you can't, and you won't.

>>12232377
>hurr hurr no string don't wanna walk to convenience store wahhh
>no I refuse to accept any solutions that won't magically conjure a tape measure in my hand
I can see why you're in city college

>>12232225
>>12232323
>>12232324


Wow lads, you really got him!! He'll think twice before posting on this anime image board again!

>>12232342
order one online for literally 1 dollar

>>12232388
If I had a reasonable alternative, I would. That's why I made this thread. And what did I get? Just insults from faggots like you.

>>12232402
If there were no solutions you could have just told me instead of raging like a fucking autist, and I would have accepted it.

>all city colleges are bad
Kek. Only an /fa/ autist could come up with such a moronic claim. Not even on /sci/ have I seen something like that.

>>12232429
I need it literally right now.

>>12232166
You're an unpleasant asshole and an ungrateful bastard too.

>>12232451
I'M the unpleasant asshole? I asked a simple question related to the board and all I got were insults.
Fuck off autist.

>>12232455
Dude, chill. It's words and when I saw the comments I thought they were pretty funny.
Stop taking everything so seriously. You got a general consensus of no, with what you want, and are willing to do, you CAN'T measure yourself.
Shit man those comments flaming you are just for fun and ya took the bait. Oh well
sage for shit thread