What's your excuse?

>>11939638
I'm too sexy for the catwalk

My nose is crooked.

i don't bath in a frozen mountain stream every morning to keep my skin young and tight

but believe me i'm fuckin thinking about starting

>>11939657
is that his secret?

>>11939659
i don't know, but generally speaking, yes, bathing in cold water daily will keep old man sagginess away. but there are a million factors that could be at work as well. getting enough sleep, not drinking much alcohol, not smoking, not getting too much sun, eating fish and veggies and not processed shit, etc. looks like the dude also is active. could swim or surf or chop wood or practice martial arts. who knows.

>>11939673
The secret is gay sex, lots of it, and always receiving the money shot

>>11939677
this

with an extra shot of concentrated protein and valuable amino acids that rejuvenate your skin, gay sex is the only option for being effay

>>11939638
Yo I play Tekken all the time.

ejaculate is overrated

mountain ice water is ok but meme status

fish oil is okay

>>11939886
ejaculate is nectar of the gods, the gods being my balls

tastes great, and mixes well with my morning oats

>>11939638
My body is heavy acne scars all over.

Asian face with potato-jawline with acne scars

Short height

yup. money is my only hope.

Being 1ft off

File: exc.jpg (37KB, 720x413px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 720x413px

>>11939638

File: orca.png (52KB, 250x189px)

52KB, 250x189px

>>11939638
he looks like that dude that teaches you to fight in The Wind Waker

>>11939638
no one will ever see me naked
no one that matters anyway

>>11941460
Live action Legend of Zelda with a model cast. /fa/ gets to come up with costuming.

I'm too lazy for that shit.