The DUI Mobile

Go to court, don't show up and act like an asshole and tell them you realize you are remorseful for putting other's lives at risk because you're a degenerate and you're going to seek treatment. Plead with the judge to let you have a limited license for work at least. And grow up

Every post you make is a riot.

even a fatass can ride 14 miles a day without assist

File: collectible af.jpg (35KB, 400x300px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 400x300px

Find one of these and restore it while you use it to commute to work.
Once you are done and you get your license back you can sell it for enough to fund your project car.

Get a good lawyer. You will almost certainly be given work privileges for your car. Your insurance will go way up. You'll get a special license plate marking you as a DWI kind of anon. Take the bike money, buy more booze. Finally, learn how to handle your alcohol, fatass

>>1209252
>1st Law of Thermonuclear Driving Under the Influence:
..be inconspicuous af. Its like you trying to get busted. You now have a god-given opportunity to get your weight down some, I'd honestly STFU and take the hit. If preferred, you can slim your cash reserves on lawyers instead, be better bribing someone tho.

>>1209254
Fully intend on all of this. I NEVER drink and drive. I have paid a lot of money over the years for dd and rides places. My friends are all in disbelief and I'm not sure that i even drove. But the fact that I don't remember means that yes, I do need to grow up and stop being a degenerate. I have stopped drinking, signed up for pre-emptive AA type classes, and hired a highly recommended and expensive attorney. I fully plan to be as respectable as possible and do anything the court requires and more.

Now then, should I lose my liscense for any amount of time. Ebike seems to be the only option.

>>1209256
;)

>>1209257
Yes anon bit the hige hills. And I'm disabled. Walking is a challenge and bikeriding would surely mean more expensive surgery.

>>1209259
I might try it anon. Bit i highly doubt i could evem make it half way before doubling over in agony because of my fucking bullshit faggot cankle

>>1209263
Been drinking for almost 20 years. Quit cold turkey. I guess i can't be allowed to drink without a babysitter. Or at all ever again now...

>>1209265
Lol, no bribes to be had around here anon. But thanks. I been on a diet and it's working. Bit i shoukd be around 175 for my height. So i'm a ways off yet. Depending on how well the ebike preforms and how mich i can handle pedling it should help. It's not the workoit part of it, i necer been affraid of work. It's the excruciating pain and cramping my shitty bumb foot gives me after i pedal half a mile.

Step 1. Don't drink and drive you fucking nonce, I have zero sympathy for your situation
Step 2. Get a good bike and ride that. You can wrap your commute to work up with your exercise and then not be a fat anymore.
Step 3. Don't drink and drive again you fucking retard, you're lucky you didn't kill anybody

>>1209252
>250 pound fat

Forget the motor on a bike. Just leave early and peddle the bike you fat ass. By the time you get your license back you will be /fit/.

Scooters don't require a license in many states and are the traditional transport of drunken losers.

You won't get fit, you won't fix your life and drunks almost never get better so don't even try because you are worthless. However scooters are not worthless and make quite effective transportation.

Of course OP was too stupid to post his state, so he can look up the laws himself. Scooter makers and sellers tailor their offerings to get under most state laws.

If your "project" was that gas hog in pic related you're no mechanic either and should sell or scrap it for cash, but scrap is low at present. You might trade for a scooter. Check Craigslist.

You can find basically every part for Chinese scooters on Ebay or elsewhere online and they are a breeze to work on. Engines are typically good copies of older Jap engines.

>>1209286
I bet that makes you so very sad. Just give up and drink. You'll leave the earth you defile sooner and nothing of value will be lost.

>>1209252
Even though you aren't required to have a license or register it you can still get a DUI on a bike, so you may want to be careful. And just pedal the damned thing ffs. The first couple of days will suck, then you'll be surprised that it's getting easier, then you'll be on /fit/ bragging about how you lost the weight and quit drinking.

>>1209329
>>1209348

The trolls got to chubbs already. If you faggot ass puritans want to impose your 'prohibition rules muh god u r a degenerate' views in a thread, dare a /k/ommando on homebrew general to a bloody ole fashioned bitch slap duel. Leave this overnourished OP alone unless you can help with his question.
Sorry tubbaguts, I've got nuthin for ya
/fit/ maybe ?

>>1209329
I know. I'm not asking for any sympathy at all and i shun anyone that drinks and drives always. Thats why im just as confused as everyone else. I have a suspicion my DD high centered the car and either went to get help or ran away scared.

But the dui part is beside the point. How to ebike here? It is impossible for me to ride a normal bike to work.

>>1209341
Already headed that way dieting. Unless i spend over $2,000 for a handicaped bicycle or can somehow Frankenstein my own together an ebike is the only option.

>>1209347
Well, i wasnt a drunk unless you count 2 or 3 times a month having a beer. No hard liquor pretty much ever.

Just had a bad day and woke up ina ditch. No idea how i got there and the entire day is kind of spotty.

Scooter counts as motorized here and if it is over 50cc need a liscense. Under 50cc is banned since my friend decapitated himself on a dirt bike in town ;(

Also, i may be a shitty mechanic but the body is straight as an arrow on this beast. It has 50,000 miles on it and a 455 big block. Hot ignition. New dual exhaust. And flame throwers. I spent 4 days working on this bitch ina junkyard and fucking drove it out of there.

But yeah, i'm no mechanic and should sell a one off 74 Olds with a big block and heavy front end with 50,000 miles for scrap. Fuck me right?

>>1209348
Oh believe me. I felt like a piece of shit plenty before this whole ordeal. Don't tempt me.

>>1209357
Thanks for the advice anon. No problems with the drinking. Wife said i am done or we are done. So either i never drink again, or she gets smart amd leaves my useless ass for someone worth having her and i drink myself to death in one sitting.

No real in between there so no worries about me piloting anything drunk ever again. If i was even driving.

>>1209369
Lol, thank you anon. I had dinner with a good friend who is in better shape than any retard on that gay circlejerk board /fit. I took his advice and losing weight fast.

>>1209282
>I NEVER drink and drive
>>1209377
>No idea how i got there and the entire day is kind of spotty
You can lie to us, but if you continue to lie to yourself, this won't turn out very well. Take a good hard look at your life. This video https://youtu.be/REjUkEj1O_0 may help if you don't know what to look for.

>>1209379
You need to drop the sorry-for-yourself routine.
If you want to get real then get real.
Dwelling on mistakes doesn't fix anything. Analyse, learn, move on.
Figure out your triggers and deal with them.

>>1209252
Use the pedel/electric motor to turn a huge flywheel

My advice to you, OP, is to delete your thread and create a new one asking how to make a motorized bike that can commute and pass laws without any mention of a DUI. Because, as I'm sure you've already realized, you brought down the wrath of internet warriors.

>>1209375
Then get one of those retard trikes. I t has a basket in the back and you can get one for under 300 at Walmart. If you are feeling retarded/lazy you can have them put it together but it will fall apart because the fuckers cant tighten a god damn nut up.

Okay, I don't care if you're a dru/n/k or not. Get
help, don't, meh. I'm two DUI deep into my life and won't be behind the wheel of a car for sometime. I've spent a decent amount of time looking into a lot of different options. Here's what I got.

>What makes you think an ebike is going to be legal for you? Seriously, check your state laws.
You get one cop who thinks something is fishy about some cobbled together Trek with a bunch of shit bolted to it going 25 with you on it, you probably just caused yourself A LOT more trouble. Even if it is "legal" (which is questionable), is it something you can afford to fight in court?
>What state and where in the state? Are you in Florida and will have decent weather whenever there isn't a hurricane, or are you in Minnesota and will be dealing with 2 feet of snow and ice half the year?
>do you know what needs a license where you live? E.g. In Mass you need to register a moped, even if it is under 50cc, and you need to have at least a learners permit to operate it. So, you can't use a moped as a DUI-mobile in Mass. Your state could be VERY different.
>Did you refuse the test or fail the test? That may be a big difference in court. Some states have a mandatory suspension for refusing the test that is greater than the suspension for failing the test


7 miles isn't something you want to be walking, especially if you need to take anything to work more than yourself (lunch, laptop, whatever). You could become the town trike guy until you feel comfortable riding a bike. Even if you end up walking a bike 1/3 the way for the first month, you're still better off than walking.

not really joking

www DOT quadracyclellc DOT com

for one (I don't know, two?, three?) week's pay you can get the single person quadracycle

>>1209252

How much for the limo, drinky?

>>1209252
/n/

>>1209252
Fuck you nigger. All you had to do was tap your phone a few times for an uber.

>>1209259
stop pushing your collectible meme.

>>1210083
not really joking
you can just type the link out normal no need for spacing the the work DOT.

>>1209252
>be me
>be bike nut
>own 13 bikes
>4 electric ones

My first suggestion is to just get a bike. And ONLY a bike. If you're allocating $15000 to this project, I can assure you that a $1000 bike is much better than a $500 bike.

If you're using it for commuting I would suggest getting yourself a tri-cross bike. These bikes are more aerodynamic for commuting than uprights. They have low-tread tires that are beefier than a road wheel for better handling more varied terrain.

A fat bike has so much rolling friction that it's stupid to use as a commuter. And mountain bikes are only marginally better with all that tread and those shocks eating up your energy.

7 miles is NOTHING on a bike. Especially a higher quality one. And after the first week you'll be making that commute in no time.

My main commuter is my specialized tri-cross triple sport from 2007. I have over 40,000 miles on it and it's a fucking champ.

If you MUST go with an e-bike then definitely get the mid-drive setups. You can operate the motor in its efficiency band much more accurately and easily. The bennefit to the Bafang shit is that it's an all-in-one package deal from the sellers in the states. No fucking around with programming your controllers, getting shit to work together or any of that tinkering bullshit.

>>1210269
>7 miles is NOTHING on a bike.
This.
I used to bike to work when I was still living in a city. Then I took my bike to be serviced and it was on that trip too long. During this time I started running to work, it was just 5-6km so it was a nice 10km per day.
When I got my bike back it was so ridiculously easy to cycle this shirt trip that I had to resort to running. Biking felt like cheating...
I was fit, I can tell you. Fuck this countryside living and its constant driving....

>>1209369
Drunk drivers fuck things up for everybody. Their lack of self control kills people, ruins lives, and means that responsible drivers have to deal with the consequences of one person's selfishness.

>>1209573
You mean the wrath of people that don't want to get fucking killed by a fatass manchild that can't control himself and drives drunk.

Any time you start drinking, throw the keys to your car (and gun safe if you own guns) under a couch or give them to someone not drinking to hide for you something so you can't get to them. Nobody deserves to get killed because some drunken loser can't control himself and drives into them.

>>1210658
See what I mean? Internet warriors.

It's an anonymous Mongolian basketweaving forum, for fucks sake.

>>1210852
Yeah, me not wanting to have the street painted with my brains in a totally preventable crash because some bitch couldn't control himself sure makes me an "internet warrior."

Yup.

>>1210658
Any time Anon? You mean OP, or anybody? I agree drunk driving is a problem and I don't do it, but just how screwed up do you think even two drinks will get you? Do you get all your shots updated, put on a full body condom, a suit that buckles in the back, and throw yourself into a solitary confinement room when you take a sip? Jesus H... $5 says you're from a flyover state.

>>1210870
Two drinks and 95% of people become rabid rapists that can't operate a motor vehicle for three to four days safely. Three drinks and the next thing you know you'll end up in a shootout with the cops because you've stolen a pound of the devil's grass from your local death dealer.

Since you seem to take everything hyper-literally I'm sure the irony there was lost on you.

If you're a person that can't stop drinking, is drinking for the first time and doesn't know how they'll act drunk, or doesn't know how much they plan to drink then yes, chuck your keys somewhere. If you have a glass of wine with dinner or a little whiskey while watching TV then it doesn't matter.

And I'm a New Yorker by birth, lived there till I was 18, then moved away to somewhere nice and irrelevant by your standards. But keep up the perceived sense of superiority you have there, sure.

>>1209252
I read this in Ricky's voice

>>1210908
Wow. You seem angry. Strange since I even asked to whom you were referring. Go watch the sun set in that nice place you have and try to let go of your New York attitude and you'll probably be happier. Have a shot of good Bourbon while you're at it.

>>1210956
Fuck you, faggot.

>>1210626
go cry somewhere else faggot. Did OP adversely affect you in any way with his behavior? No. Fuck off.
Your sweet boipussy snowflake lover get rear ended in traffic?
Wasnt a drunk. Was a lifestyle choice. Virtue signal elsewhere

>>1210985
>wooow why do people hate drunk drivers lmao it's just property damage and injury
A proper lifestyle choice for people who drive drunk would be to end it.

>>1210985
>lmao bruh, he didn't kill YOU, don't worry about it

Even though I have no idea who you are, if you get killed by a drunk driver I'll still hear the faint twinkling of broken pottery as you die.

Pay a coworker some gas $ every week to pick and drop your fat ass up every day.

Pay your fines, don't drive or try and beat the system for whatever amount of time the court tells you, and get your license back when you're legally allowed to. Don't build some retarded bike.

If you don't have coworkers or friends, then uber or lyft your ass to and from work.

>In b4, whaaa I can't afford to pay gas money or uber money. You drove drunk; enough so that you got arrested for it and lost your license. You shit in your bed and now you gotta sleep in it.

>>1209252
Can't you apply for a workers thing that tracks you going to work and back?

>>1211057
>the faint twinkling of broken pottery as you die.
not him, just curious what you meant by this. Is it an english saying or something?

>>1211067
is this a thing? First use of vehicle tracking Ive heard thats actually value added sensible, tho where it should be compulsory, parcel delivery firms, etc. - 'yur parcel wlll be delivered today, between 7 a.m. and 23.45 p.m.' - yea, cheers, cunts - it never is.
>>1211103
>pottery=poetry=poetic justice='it would be karma indeed, were you die horribly in such apt circumstances'

>>1211067
OR ask the judge to have mercy and install that thing that wont allow your car to start until you blow through a breathalyzer.

>>1211117
fuck that's a stretch.

>>1211119
It's a common joke on here, and is what I meant.

>>1211205
where do you live, lairtown?

>>1211220
On 4chan, newfag.

>>1210084
this

>Americans cant even paddle for 7 miles on a bike
>I had to bike 13km to school everyday when I was a kid

>>1210867
Exactly. Thank you for proving my point.

>>1211351
13 WHOLE kilometers?! By golly that may have taken you an entire 30 minutes!

>>1209286
i quit cold turkey one and a half years ago. it sucks at first, can't imagine life without it, easy now and it was the best decision i ever made.

>>1211351
I had to walk 17km uphill in the snow, with no shoes to school everyday

>I had to walk 17km uphill in the snow, with no shoes to school everyday

and it was uphill both ways.

>>1211654
>and it was uphill both ways
And the area was known for yeti sightings

>>1211578

Don't quit cold turkey if you're actually a alcoholic who has legit withdrawal.

Talk to a doctor, because you don't want to have a fuckin seizure on the job or driving.

>>1211636
At least you had school I was off to the coal mines

>>1211779
least you had plenty fucking coal - I got one lump at Christmas, and had to share that with the dog. And no one will kid me on again that coal 'tastes just like Turkey, go on, honest..' those bastards - call themselves parents?
>>1211660
speaking of which.. Go Turkey, Go!
I'd maybe emphasize the 'legit withdrawal' qualification slightly more there - while certainly applicable to people who drink 6 bottles of wine or a bottle(s) of vodka a day and shit (and people do..) - stopping dead then can prove a literally fatal mistake. But otherwise, amateur pissheads like our esteemed OP here mostly use considerations like 'oh, I need a doc appointment..' as an excuse (any excuse) to drink another day first. You under the bed in case the Pink Elephants trample you and shit, fair enough. But Docs are (in best case) just gonna pimp you on to Big Pharma, frying pan, fire, etc.

Alright guys, time to move this thread to /adv/.

>>1209369
>>1210985
Settle down wino. Don't take it so personally.

>>1210076
>Okay, I don't care if you're a dru/n/k or not. Get
>help, don't, meh. I'm two DUI deep into my life and won't be behind the wheel of a car for sometime.
You fucking assholes kill and cripple other people. People who are smart enough not to imbibe. Fuck. You.

>>1211815

Yeah most folks aren't the legit alcoholic tanking a bottle of vodka before lunch. But you never know OP or other folks reading might be totally fucked

But if you think you have a problem going and seeing a doctor about getting into a program isn't a bad plan, they will at least be able to give you suggestions of other community programs besides AA. I guess USA little tricky since it's not free and doctor's visits aren't free but other countries medical detox and rehab programs are free.

Many times getting on some antidepressants or other medications solve problems you were trying to deal with by using.

Probably best to shop around some AA (or NA is good too, they don't care if you only drink) meetings and find one that you like (lots are shit and all weird religious shit so don't let the first one turn you off)

For op, saying you're going to AA weekly or whatever shows you're trying to make a change. And honestly it's not that bad people usually have good stories .

>>1209378

https://www.buffalotracedistillery.com/brands/eh-taylor

>>1209377
Assuming you are serious, you should go to a doctor and have your blood sugar tested. Quite a few cops confuse blood sugar issues with alcohol related issues.

>>1210658
Driving drunk really isn't as hard as you faggots make it seem.

>>1216022
It's not. Any retard can do it, just like nailing pallet wood together. Just cause you can do something doesn't mean you're good at it.