DIY implant removal

>>1146255
I'm already cracking up thinking about how they're going to slap a wad of gauze on you and make you wait in the ER lobby for four hours, the whole time you'll be in excruciating pain, doubled over, moaning and about to pass out! Just because nurses and docs have a very /b/ sense of humor! Enjoy!

>>1146255
hell no

what is so bad about your implants?

>>1146255
Sounds like you got it covered. This will in no way get you an involuntary commitment for self harm.

Is this a penile implant, like the kind used to treat ED that has the pump in the scrotum? While not a doctor, I am in PA school right now and can offer some insight as an avid DIYer who has done some surgeries on myself already. I just need to know exactly what you are trying to do here.

The day /diy/ became doctors.

You'll want a local numbing agent like Oragel for making the cut.

>>1146294
No it is a festival implant.

I lost one of my nut while jumping a fence running from the police

>>1146311
Will dat shit fuck me up?

I like a good tweek but can't be no fucked up making cuts n shiet on my boys

if you're going to the hospital right away I'd just create as sterile as an environment as possible then just go in right through the scrotum directly covering the implant. Some implants are attached at the top to your tissue so you're going to want a big enough hole to reach in there and make sure all plastic is detached. From there, squirt some saline around in there, gauze up, and get yourself to the fucking hospital

>>1146319
I was gonna say, if it was the kind of implant I was talking about, I would NOT suggest doing it. But if you have the balls to do this, it's do-able. (pun intended)
>>1146320
The active ingredient in Oragel in Benzocaine, the same class of analgesics as Lidocaine or Marcaine (which are the most common injected numbing agents)

You are not going to be able to do this with proper sterile technique, but you should try to be sterile as possible.

I would suggest making the incision where the previous surgery was so you won't be adding an additional scar and so you know it's a proper spot. The scar will also tell you how long of an incision to make. Furthermore, if you only have one implant, this will ensure you are in the right side of the scrotum and not having to worry about the septum. Hopefully the original incision is near the upper portion of the scrotum, as once you have it open, you will be able to see the string tied to the top of the prosthesis and have access to cut it.

Prep work: First, trim. With an electric trimmer, not a blade razor. Razors will make microcuts that can be holes for infection. Trimming the day before is a good idea because even if you manage to cut yourself a bit, it should be healed enough.

Oragel is not sterile. It is also designed to be used in the mouth, where your mucus membranes can easily absorb it. Scrotal skin is not good at absorbing things, so any numbing will be limited. Still, it wouldn't hurt to try. Apply to the site and let it sit for maybe 20 mins or so, or until you start to notice some numbing.

Wipe down all your instruments with alcohol to sterilize them, especially the working ends.

Get a clean rag and cut a hole in it. pull your scrotum through the hole so the site is visible. Clean area liberally with 99% rubbing alcohol with a nice margin around the site (2 inches should be good). Set up a good light shining on the site (2 would be best at different angles so your hands won't make shadows).

>>1146339
Your "operating theater" should be somewhere that is comfortable for you to be sitting in and also allows you a good view of the site. Also, somewhere that can get bloody, or just put down some covers.

Within arms reach, you should have your instruments:
scalpel (or xacto knife)
small scissors (to cut string. don't use the knife, you may end up accidentally cutting something else)
Gauze to absorb blood
Oragel if you want more numbing after you cut

Action time: Make the cut. It's gonna hurt like a bitch. You can pinch the area hard for a good minute before hand to cut off blood to the nerves a bit (kinda like when your arm/leg falls asleep), bite your tongue, step on a tack to distract yourself, whatever. Make several shallow cuts rather than one big one. this video is your reference: https://www.medicalvideos.us/video/6213/artificial-testicle-implant-surgery

Once you're in, if you can see the string, cut it. More than likely, you'll have to remove the prosthesis with the free end coming out first, push the skin down to expose the tied end of it and cut the string. The string is probably a loop, so if you want to get fancy and cut one side of it (by the knot) and pull that out too, you can. If not, it's fine to leave it in there.

Now that you have it out, I would advise against flushing the scrotum with your saline. your scrotum is sterile, and you haven't really introduced much to the inside. Your salt water is probably not sterile, so you will just end up adding more bacteria in there.

Cover the site with come gauze and keep pressure to slow the bleeding. Have someone who can take you to the ER. Driving yourself or walking too much is a bad idea. Bring with you everything that you took out to show them that you got it all. If you want to be seen as soon as possible, do this around 3-4am. I worked in an ER for 2 years and that is consistently the slowest time.

>>1146348
Also, I'm not sure the ER doctor will feel comfortable sewing this back up themselves, and may send you off to a surgeon or urologist. But at this point, I don't think that really matters to you. It just means that your stay will be a little longer if they are on call and not actually in the building.

Just out of curiosity, why do you want it removed? Is it painful or bothering you somehow?

As for your questions:
1. Cut where they did. Your veins and arteries run every which way, very hard to avoid them. Expect bleeding.
2. If you cut where they did, it will be on one side, making this a moot point.
3. Yes, it will heal.
4. Not sure what it's tied to, but if you cut it by the knot, you might be able to pull the knot and pull the rest of the string through. If it doesn't come out easily, don't pull harder. Just leave it.
5. Don't rinse, you'll probably add more bacteria.
6. Good idea.

Let me know if you have any other questions.

have you considered going to get psychiatric help, because if you really want to cut into your balls its probably a big flashing warning sign that you're fucking nuts and need help.

>>1146319
The fuck is a festival implant?

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>>1146494
probably auto-corrected from testical implant

>>1146351
at least for my testicular implant surgery, they cut right here to access the testicle sack. He's going to have to do way too much work on larger tissue mass to get into the testicles that way, with more possibility of error. I'd just go right in through the scrotum right where the implant is attached because they can definitely stitch your scrotum back together, and that way you don't cut up your pubic area because you don't know what you're doing

>>1146319
Who gave you this implant that isn't covered by insurance?
>inb4 yourself

I work with real urologists on a daily basis who primarily do vasectomy reversals and sperm aspiration. Doing this operation diy will probably sterilize you and I wouldn't count on anyone other than an experienced surgical urologist being able to navigate and sew together with microsutures the various layers of your scrotum without fucking something up.

Why would anyone want to do this to themselves? My advice would be psychiatric help. If there were actual physical complications due to the implant that should be covered under insurance.

My only experience with self surgery was trying to fix an ingrown toenail. Had insurance but figured I could DIY. Sterilized tools, big toe red and very inflamed from nail growing in on both sides. Ended up going to a foot doctor because the pain was too great. That is a toe I was trying to work on. The nether regions is far more sensitive and I doubt your average topical OTC numbing agent is going to help much.

If you are dumb enough to attempt it I wish you luck, but I highly advise against doing so.

>>1146255
WHY do you want to do this?
There may be a better option

>>1146255
Can you livestream it? It'll be a great learning experience for all involved

>>1146517
I don't care about Sperms I don't have any that work now anyways since the accident where I lost my nut hopping a wire fence running from the police.


It's just skin. How many layers could there be?

>>1146519
Because insuriance no longer covers it.
It did before Obamacare and my plan got all fucked up.

>>1146744
What?
You want to get rid of your fake nut because it costs money to do so?

I mean WHY do you want to remove it at all? Does it expire and require replacement or something?
Do you miss the feeling of having one ball, or what?

That's like saying
I want my pacemaker removed because I lost my insurance

I'm going to throw away my glasses because it's expensive to buy new glasses.

I'm going to go wreck my car because the warranty is out.

>>1146796
He clearly has a psychiatric problem. Either 1) he never actually had a ball implant and is psychotic, or 2) he's retarded and thinks de-surgery-ing himself will somehow make them stop billing him I guess? or 3) he's just pretending to be retarded.

3) is the best bet

>>1146796
>wreck my car because the warranty is out
To stick with your car analogy - there loads of people get rid of their cars when the warranty runs out, the entire industry depends on it. Why should OPs Fake (Plastic?) Testicle be any different? Might be some chink-made ticking time bomb, just hanging there in his sack, silently, awaiting its day of planned obsolescence, then, BOOM!

Besides, if OP wants to go round auto-mutilating and removing testicles at random, who are we to argue? If someone else did it, maybe take the wrong one, or something - go for it (+ livestream, dont forget) I say, you'll be legend.

You guys need to spend some time on /b/. Hard to believe a troll this obvious is getting some of the responses he's getting.

>>1146863

>I lost one of my nut while jumping a fence running from the police

should have been pretty obvious

>>1146796
>You want to get rid of your fake nut because it costs money to do so?

No. He wants it out because it's a clandestine alphabet agency monitoring device.

Hey! OP. just wrap your ballsack in tinfoil.

>>1146319
>it is a festival implant
>Getting medical implants at a fucking festival
Well you brought this on yourself!

>>1146255

I love /diy/ home surgery...and practice it myself as much as I can...

I don't know where your going with your surgery...kind of like me when I went to remove my liver, starting at my shoulder...

You need to develop some skillz there bucko...

@getgood...

>>1146743
>where I lost my nut hopping a wire fence running from the police
>running from the police

Ah, I see, never mind my original cautionary reply then, cut away liberally my son and godspeed! I hope you hit a major artery.

>>1146912
I do this anyway to protect my sperm for marriage

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>>1146255

This thread is nuts.

>>1146255
medfag here, if you give me one good reason why you want to remove it and not some troll response i'll tell you how to do it with veterinary supplies...

>>1147325
plumberfag here, if you make me laugh i'll tell you how to do it with woodworking tools

>>1147359
What would you recommend? I have some gardening tools. Are those good?

Can I have one of you faux testicles? I collect weird stuff and I don't have those yet. It will a fun prank to drop one in a drink at the bar.

>>1147325
EEfag here, if you post a pic of your legs i'll tell you how to do it with a soldering iron...

>Today /diy/ helped a man cut his artificial nut out

Kek, my sides. If you are so retarded as to try this op, make sure to stream it for the lulz.

>>1147799
Stream it to share the knowledge.

machinefag here, if you post pics and not some troll response i'll tell you how to do it with a milling machine...

Gunsmithfag here. If you post pics of your bag with the fake nuts in them I'll tell you how to do it with a checkering tool and a needle file.

>>1146263
newfag idiot

Archaeologist here, livestream it and I'll tell you how to do it with pick and shovel.

Homeless man here, you gonna eat that testicle?

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>>1147325
>>1147359
>>1147796
>>1148423
>>1148428
>>1148456
>>1148468
Once this is over we need a compiled screen cap. Let's post more image macros to liven it up.

Welder here, I'll show you how to do it overhead with a tungsten

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Stream it please!!

Also post this on /b/ when you are going to do this, share and care feggit!

Just buy an elastrator and remove the whole ballsack. When it separates, cut the string. Millions upon millions of hogs, and many body modders on the way to being a nullo, are elastrated. Much safer than surgery and you can go to the ER if something doesn't work right.

https://wiki.bme.com/index.php?title=Castration

This is incredibly hot. You should SELL the opportunity to take your balls to a dom. Get on Fetlife etc. It's not selling sex. Get the wording right. A wealthy dom should be willing to pay a few thousand dollars for the rare pleasure of deballing OP, tho OP is a shitposter and won't go thru with it.

Post pics on /b/ if do. Why lose fakenut for no profit?

I don't care if OP is nuts, that's not 4chan's problem.

>>1148770
>OP is nuts
>nuts
Correction: should be singular.

>>1148468
No. Did you want it?

>>1146255
hey please go through with it

then post it on instructables

>>1146339
he'll be sterile alright once he's done...

>>1146255
do you even google ?

https://instructables.com/id/Remove-your-own-balls-safely/

>>1146319
>>1146494
Kek made me laugh out loud 9/10

>>1146255
All i can say is i hope you dont cut the wrong one out. Unless youre 50. Then You may as well grab your scrotum, zip tie at the base to stop the bleeding, and just grab a sterilized paring knife. Just make sure its sharp enough to shave hair. Otherwise it will hurt as bad as it looks.

Watch S02E9 of Fortitude. This exsct scenario is covered.

>>1146255
For the love of god, learn basic anatomy before you attempt surgery on yourself.

Also find a copy of
https://www.paladin-press.com/product/Ditch_Medicine/Survival_Medicine
which covers how to dress wounds, tie veins and put it all back together under field conditions.
ER may be unnecessary if you know what you're doing and may get you into more trouble than it's worth.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-J910hjGALY
This video shows a testectomy, which is essentially what you're doing except with an implant. Watch it and understand the steps necessary before you do anything.

>>1147325
aerospacefag here, if you provide timestamp I'll tell you how to do it with a brushless DC motor and fixed pitch propeller.

teacher here, if you timestamp I will tell you how to do it with a protractor and a textbook

Asbestosremovalfag here, if you provide timestamp I'll tell you how to do it with a vacuum and a walmart dust mask

Physicistfag here, if you provide your momentum or your position I'll tell you how to do it with a superconducting electromagnet and an ideal tuning fork.

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>>1146255
Jesus fucking Christ dude,
Fucking do it man !

Wat

Freeze whole ballbag with CO2 then knock it off like a wart.

You can buy a small CO2 cylinder like those for kegerator kits, then invert it to provide liquid withdrawal.

>>1146255
/pol/fag here, if you give me one good reason why you want to remove it and not some HAES response i'll tell you how to do it with municipal tap water

>>1146255
Aside from why they bothered giving you a fake bollock in the first place (I'm reminded of some cunt selling fake balls for your dogs), why would you even want to remove it? Others have asked this and I've seen no answer. Assuming it's not currently causing you a huge amount of discomfort, your best course of action is to just forget about it. Leave it there.

>>1153134
>not tying to gas his balls

1/10, poor quality kek

>>1146255 (OP)
electricianfag here, if you give me one good reason why you want to remove it and not some troll response i'll tell you how to do it with a volt meter and a pair of wire strippers

>>1146881
So, jump over another fence.