How to Escape Jury Duty

Say you intend campaign for jury nullification in any case presented.

>>1094739
That's a crime. Just convince the jury selectors that you're openly racist.

>>1094723
Dont be a fag
Jury duty is actually kind of a fun weird experience in its own way.

>>1094759
No its not, Jury duty is a waste of a productive day.
>Sit in a room all day
>go to another room
>judge asks if you are capable of being on a jury
>I will be financially burdened by serving on a jury
>dismissed
Cool, I've missed a day of work doing fuckall and not getting paid. Fuckers can't mail my new drivers license, or car registration to my mailbox but sure as fuck get my jury duty notice there.

>>1094763
The world isn't against you my dear. It just doesn't care.

just take this opportunity to serve your country. It's a privilege

>>1094752
this works

>>1094723
Calling bullshit. You didn't get a notice of jury duty tomorrow until today? Let me guess, you were the little fucker that told your parents how you just found out about the physics model that's due tomorrow two days ago too, aren't you? You weren't smart enough to write something on the questionnaire good enough to get you out, so now you're coming to us. Fuck off, OP. If you were really hardcore /diy/ and /biz/ you would have already been excused. How do I know? I've been called 5 times since I was 18, served once, now that's my get out of jury duty free card.

>>1094763
>Jury duty is a waste of a productive day.

If heavy production is so important to you, why are you fucking around on 4chan when you should be making up your lost "productive day"

>>1094723
I was in prison for 4 years for a aggravated assault. Sure, forced butt sex hurts, but i sont have to apear at jusry duty

>>1094723
T. internet lawyer here.

You can (a) realize what a privilege it is to participate in the system and just do it, (b) make it obvious to the court and/or attorneys you are a selfish piece of shit that won't take your duties as a juror properly or (c) act like a crazy person by wearing outrageous/ inappropriate clothing, claim to believe in aliens, don't trust the gov't or the criminal justice system, etc.

How about when you got the summons you responded with a hardship letter. Ive done so six times to jury summons and gotten six dismissals.

>>1094723
>I can't afford to be picked
then tell them that

>crunchy Coconut Carrot Cake
that sounds so good

>>1094752
This. They asked if there was any reason I couldn't be biased.

Said as long as he ain't black or Jewish looking we ain't got a problem.

Thank ubmr. Anon u are excused

I just throw the forms away. They can't do shit cause they have to prove you recieved it in the first place.

It's just like how I lost all my guns in a terrible boating accident, the post office lost my jury summons.

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>>1094763
>"""""""""""waste of a productive day""""""""""""""
>he writes this while he's on 4chan

Truly epic.

>>1094723
Is OP 18 or something and this is his first summons? At the very least, you get the whole day off to stay home and /diy/ all your epic projects (if OP really is as /diy/ as he claims). But if you get called in, and actually get selected, tell them that missing epic /biz/ work is a financial burned you cannot afford (literally) and they send you home. And if you're REALLY lucky, it'll be a child porn case; in which case, you get on the jury and enjoy getting paid to look at epic cheeze pizza.

>>1094763
>serving on jury
>not productive

Fucking swine.

>>1094798
>today

Where, retard?

Literally all you have to do is shred the letter and not show up. They have no way to prove that you ever got the summons, and wouldn't bother wasting time trying.

>>1095219
>>1094874

Won't matter, most states consider your summons received the it is sent through the US Postal Service, a judge will get pissed and issue a bench warrant.

I showed up, foe jury duty, refused to fill out the voie dire

They were seating 4 trials, had 200 people in the "Show" courtroom

Judge asked if we had any questions, I got up and asked the judge, prosecutors and defense attorneys to explain Jury Nullification, as permitted by the Constitution and upheld by the Supreme Court ruling in Georgia v. Brailsford, Sparf v. U.S, U.S. v. Moylan, United States v. Dougherty, U.S. v. Krzyske, U.S. v. Thomas

Judge got visibly upset, took the lawyers into his chambers, came out after 15 minutes and dismissed all of us from further jury duty

I got lots of handshakes and thanks, told people to go home and look it up

6 years and have not been called for jury duty again

Probably on an asshole list somewhere

Fine with me.

>>1095194
Really? Dipfuck OP waits until the day before jury duty to decide he really wants out of it, goes on /diy/ for ideas, even though he's "hardcore /diy/ + /biz/," and you're splitting hairs about if he said "today" or not? You're as stupid as OP; probably are OP, because there can't be two people that stupid in the same thread.

just don't wear a drool cup.
there is at least one party of lawyers that does not want a juror with three brains cell that might accidentally rub together

>>1094798
This right here.

I was summoned a few days ago, for the date of January 3rd . It will be my 3rd summons, the first ond having been served. Until then, you have no reason to bitch, op.

>>1094763
Get a real job which pays you even you take off from work you lowlife. Don't bother posting pathetic excuses also.

OP here

>>1094798
>You didn't get a notice of jury duty tomorrow until today?
No...it was last month. You are pretty dense, tbqh senpai and cheese.

>>1095189
> Is OP 18 or something and this is his first summons?
39. 3rd Summons. My group was never called to attend until 6pm the night OF. (when I originally posted).

>>1094759
> Jury duty is actually kind of a fun weird experience in its own way.
No it wasn't.

>>1094723
i got out of jury duty by falling asleep during the trail session. i only served a week and was dropped from jury duty.

>>1095359
Looks like you are in for another productive day on 4chan

>>1095359
>No...it was last month
Then why didn't you take care of this already? Respond to the summons with a valid excuse, and the problem is solved.
It is (was) too late to get out of it only one day in advance.
Btw, how did it go?

Why the fuck is this in /diy/? This is clearly an /adv/ thread.

>>1094723
Easy way is to go to work and ask for a notice of financial burden. HR should sign in. Just mail it in with a short signed cover letter stating your intent to be relieved due to financial burden. You can also say this to the judge/selector and they should let you off, but mailing it in is way easier.

>>1095236
/thread

Will you have my man babies?

>>1094842
both of these

or lie and say you have plane tickets to a thing you can't miss next week.

>>1094768
Actually it's an obligation, given you have a right to a trial by jury of your peers.

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>>1095387
>Then why didn't you take care of this already? Respond to the summons with a valid excuse, and the problem is solved.
Because in NO WAY did the questionnaire ask the SAME questions the judge did, lol.
>Btw, how did it go?
Arrived at 7 am, 30 degrees, rain, no umbrella. Checking in...they confiscate ALL the smokers lighters. Wasn't announced in the menu. About 100 of us. Orientation + 10 min. video. I have a chest cold. Coughing so bad, ppl start moving away from me. After orientation, lady offers me cough drops and points me to the break room. Drop cough drops into tea, blow my nose, meet other people with colds. Hand them cough drops and tell them to make tea. All nasal cavities open. Nickelback - Hero starts playing. All smokers decide to go BACK out into the rain and cold to smoke, lol. My group didn't get called until the end of the day. Criminal case. States attorney reads off, maybe 12 cops names. Judge begins questioning:

Judge: Is there anyone here who cannot/will not/has a problem with taking testament from officers BECAUSE of their profession?
> *Only Person Standing* /Other jurors chuckle
Judge: Has anyone here ever filed charges against an officer?
>*Only Person Standing* /Fewer jurors chuckle
Judge: Is there anyone here who has a problem with the fact that an unregistered weapon was used in this crime?
>*Sighing...getting ready to stand*
Judge: Juror 46....you may go. Thank you for performing your civil duties.
*No Jurors chuckled*
>Be me walking out (with maybe 8 others)

-OP

I'm on a volunteer rescue squad and I get off just for that, I do my time, saving lives covered in puke and shit and sometimes blood. It's better than being forced to sit my ass down in a court room tbqh

>>1094874
This. If you didn't sign for the letter, or it wasn't handed to you (served), no proof that you got it.

I'm in same boat. Missed work equals zero pay. Screw that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK4XhR0lYlE

try this

>>1094723

Just don't show up.

I got summoned 2x and did this both times. Never got a phone call or anything. No problems.

>>1095236
what does this mean?

>>1095640
bullshit

i was told to do this once and i did. i got a letter the a third time which was a threat. if i didnt reply there would be a warrant for my arrest

>>1095663
You get bench warrants for your arrest when you forget to pay a parking ticket.

>>1094723
Story time?

>get summons for jury duty
>write hardship letter
>i don't own a car
>the nearest public transport is 3 miles away
>and the earliest i could arrive utilizing public transport is 9:30am after an hour and a half circuitous bus ride through the city with two transfers, a full 2 hours late.
>get a letter back
>your hardship request has been denied, you must appear for jury duty or a warrant will be issued for your arrest
>day of
>wake up at 5:30 to take a 90 minute bike ride
>Yes, thats how shitty this city's routes are, i can ride my bike in the same time the bus takes with the transfers.
>raining
>Show up drenched
>sitting in the fourth and final group hacking and coughing still wet despite my rain gear
>juror 116 do you feel you could be a fair and impartial jurror
>"no"
>judge says "explain yourself"
>well its getting to be winter. I dont own a car, and since public transport sucks in this city i had to get up at 530 to ride my fucking bicycle here to get here on time so I can hear a case about some poor bastard teen with a shitty public defender who got caught with a little bit of harmless pot on him?"
>"do you not own a car?"
>"why in gods name would I risk pneumonia in this weather if i had a god damn car?"
>"jury duty is done based off motor vehicle records"
>"i drive for my job"
>"you are aware you could have submitted a hardship letter"
>pull out letter
>"yes, i did, and your court clerk refused my hardship request on your letterhead."
>"you are excused"

>>1095691
kek

the first time i was summomed for duty was 5yrs ago and i was send to a federal court 50miles away from where i live. lucky i had a car or else i would have never made it. i only served a week and i got dropped. i feel asleep during the trial lol

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>>1094723
Well, if you don't want to go the obvious route of being a racist or pretending to be insane, according to my evil lawyer wife the next best step is to start making obnoxious and obvious enquiries about the defendants criminal history and their financial records.

Wear a Make America Great Again hat. Refuse to remove it in court room because muh fredimz

>>1095359
>> Jury duty is actually kind of a fun weird experience in its own way.
>No it wasn't.
Actually it was.
But I was called on a sex trafficing case, and my uncle is a pedophile, so that got me tossed off the jury right quick.

>>1095693
that's not kek, that's the judge being the only non-asshole the poor guy dealt with.

>>1095718
Things like that happend because golf is a REAL sport...

As a german I'm happy we don't use the jury, because it's a shit system, but the storytiem is 1st class.

>>1095658
Your witnessing that poster trying to suck their own dick.

>>1094723
Multiple ways.
Jury nullification
Tell them you can't accept an officers testimony because they are trained to lie.
Your racist, make sure to include all kinds of races including whites.
>a polish man? not white. Anglo saxon? Sub human. Blacks, mexicans, indians, asians. Pretty much anyone who isn't my obscure racial sub group is not human.
etc.
>oh man, that means i can decide if they hang him right?

>>1094723
I told them I hated cops. Good bye.

>>1094807

Not OP

While I normally agree with this method of thinking. My work requires daylight. So from 6am to 6 pm (equator fag) I got nothing but housekeeping to do, Vidya to play and bars to visit

>>1095399
That's just because you lack creativity.

We need to build you some kind of decoy juror to take your place OP. With dowels and torx screws and electricity so it can fill out the forms.

>>1095570
Oh, you poor baby. You didn't bring an umbrella even though it was raining. You forgot cough drops despite your sickness.
You managed to remember your lighter, but those big meanies didn't let you smoke it up in a courthouse.
Atleast you get to continue your hardcore /diy/ and /biz/ unhindered by the pesky Justice System.
I hope your cold gets better soon.

I just ended my Jury Duty today. It actually was a nice, unique experience. The 8 of us got along very well, all went out to lunch together and talked about our lives. Even though none of us will ever see eachother again, I feel like our shared experience made us friends, if not good acquaintances.

The black dude lost his case. He's in jail until 2168.

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speak your mind , they will throw you out for having your own opinion.

>>1094752

Its not a crime you fucking fag tard. The only crime is if you tell them that you wont but intend to anyhow. And proving intent is a real bitch unless you go around bragging about shit ahead of time like a little retard.

>>1094752

Did this 15 years ago, havnt been called for since.

>>1094752
Pretty much this. I got federal duty, called up once a week. They were always niggers or nigger wannabes, told the prosecutors I was a neo nazi. They never batted an eye due to my shaved head and long goatee. Except for the one time it was actually my friend's dad on trial, that time I had a real excuse. He had no idea his dad was on trial until I blabbed.

Also even in KY federal, the pay was $70 per day + 90¢ per mile for travel. Added up to about $200 a week for showing up 30 minutes once a week because they don't check the mileage you report.

go the first day, when cross examined present yourself as an extremely biased individual to both parties and fuck what anyone there thinks about you. They'll be selected for jury duty and you wont be.

Can you get arrested for sleeping on the jury? I was so fucking bored. Fucking court wasting time because some dumb ass decided to call 2 little girls gay. Are you fucking serious? I also have social anxiety and had to sit in the fucking corner for 3 hours a day for 4 days.

literally just email the sheriff and tell him your sick.

In canada they only pay you like 20 bucks and don't even buy you lunch. Fuck that noise.

>>1097928
>>1097928
>because some dumb ass decided to call 2 little girls gay

that should have been so easy to get out of

>>1095691
They always deny hardship letters. I got called into jury duty in Detroit. Didn't have a car. Didn't even live in Detroit. Doesn't matter.

Took a cab because it'd be suicide for a white guy in court appropriate attire to take public transit into Detroit. I was ready to institutionalize some niggers by the time I got there, but they didn't even call me. Ended up costing me more than I got back too.

You should be happy to serve, this is an honor. Thank god we have the only country in the world we can have a trial by our peers.

Why is jury nullification illegal? Isn't that the entire point of getting a jury together in the first place?

>>1094723
join the military. ive had like 3 summonssssesesses for the first couple years and each one all i did was call and say "im in the military and dont live in my home state anymore" and they just disqualled me. havent gotten another one in like 4 years.

>>1096545
>they don't check the mileage you report.

That seems so obvious a check. Place of residence to court house +- 20% margin. Anything greater gets flagged for review.

Just say you can tell a gulty person a mile away

>>1094752
>>That's a crime.

Cite your goddamn, motherfucking, shitsucking, droolslobbering sources, right, fucking, shitting, meow!

AND HOW IS THIS DIY?!

>>1096005
I had a similar situation. i'm pretty sure i'm racist but i still wanted to let this guy off. he punched this black girl that needed a punching. in addition he had a job, took care of a kid with cerebral palsy, and she didn't want him prosecuted. also his mom died the day he got arrested. at first it was split half innocent and half guilty. but eventually they all went guilty. i was the last hold out. however i doubt there is an adnon on this board who would take a punch from this monster femenon gorilla and not punch back either out of reflex or fear. if i had to do it again i would hang the jury. and he would have gotten off because i found out afterward it was the retrial bc first jury was hung.

anyway it turned out pretty interesting if you have the time.

>>1100037
>>1096005
Ive never been called up for Jury Duty as of yet, but after watching 12 Angry Men it seems like it could be interesting to do.
It seems like it could be Inconvenient sure, but what is life without experiencing shit?

This is a /diy/ board, you're better of on another board called advice.

>>1094723
They will likely ask you if you have any views that may make you choose a verdict based on something other than the law and presented evidence, a trick question to see if you're gonna pull jury nullification (Google it, perfectly legal but you probably shouldn't in reality) just answer yes. They don't want people like that for jury duty.

>>1095663

Maybe it varies by state.

I'm in GA.

Just remember when your ass goes to court because of your personal injury claim and trying to sue a company that refuses to settle or you've been wrongfully charged with a crime; just remember the quality of the 12 chumps who got selected to hear your case.

Look around the room and think do I want you to be the one to hear my case?

I've received 3 jury notices and have a good enough job that provides compensation for jury time. Had to no show for 2 and made it to juror 13. When asked my history in relationship to the case being presented I was dismissed.

>>1095640
I didn't show up because they sent the letter to an old residence and the sheriff actually went there to see why I didn't go until he realized it was the states mistake and I never talked to him myself about it

>>1098146
Here in NZ they literally use something like Google maps to calculate your payout for mileage.

Also jury duty is important but considering OPs shitty attitude it's probably a good thing he doesn't do it.

>>1094723
Do what 4chan does best. Say "nigger"

>>1094752
>That's a crime.

Wrong.

Also, you'll never get jury duty again and very likely neither will anyone else who was in the room when you publicly uttered the dreaded phrase "jury nullification".

Called many times. Never paneled.
Questionnaire asks to list organizations that you belong to.
John Birch Society, NRA, Tea Party Ohio.
I did get interviewed on a case where one dealer shot another. Defense said case hinged on self defense. Asked me if I understood law regarding self defense? I said "who shot first?" Dismissed Anon.

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>>1098026
Because it's a loophole in the jury system that exists because it isn't explicitly illegal. Both lawyers and judges hate it because it lets any group of random people who didnt go to law school for a decade make their entire careers pointless. They ask you that question about "making sure to follow the laws of the country" to put you in a check where if you knowingly abuse jury nullification then they can get you for perjury, because the act of abusing nullification itself is not illegal. It's something that's only supposed to happen in extreme situations such that it happens naturally.

>>1094723
No bullshit OP.
I've been sent the letter 3 times.
I take a Sharpie and I scrawl across the form in huge letters "I Hate NIGGERS!"
I'm not kidding.

>>1094723
Tell em you hate cops or the blacks, however you wanna play it. Works every time.

>>1095595
If you're spending your time covered in blood, puke, and shit, you're bad at your job, Rescue Randy.

Sincerely,
A paramedic that actually saves lives and very seldom gets the bodily fluids of my patients on myself.

>>1100568
>Things that never happened for $800, Alex.

>>1100603
Im not always covered in fluid, but my volunteer squad is almost all older people, so I lift and move and do all the physical stuff and our paramedics barely even touch the patients. That being said it's almost all really old people who spew on me while being moved and I can't exactly drop them. We also get so many gushing nosebleeds I swear they should have been dead, better a nose bleed than an aneurysm if say, getting shit on me is way less frequent than the other 2 tho.

>>1095658
Jury nullification is where the jury decides if the government even had the authority to try the person. If the government can't prove it has a rightful claim the law is just and proper, the defendant walks, even if they are 'guilty'. Kind of a head trip I know, but think about a guy charged with not registering a gun. You don't believe the government has a right to demand people register their guns. You vote to acquit even though it's pretty obvious the guy wasn't in compliance with the law. A guy gets charged with avoiding the selective service. Constitution prohibits slavery. Making a guy go to war is worse than making someone pick cotton for free so you acquit.

>>1101247
It can be a good or bad thing. People have been given not guilty verdicts for things like lynchings using jury nullification. The Wikipedia article explains it well. Basically, a jury's decision is entirely their business, is conducted in private, and once made the judge cannot change it (although the defendant can usually appeal a guilty verdict). So even if you're obviously guilty of stringing up 3 black men in a tree, if the jury hates them uppity negroes as much as you, they can simply say "not guilty" and it's pretty much gg no re.

>>1094768
thanks hank