ITT: All of /diy/ now lives together in an isolate village

>>1087447

I would run as far away from you niggers as possible.

>>1087447
/diy/ composes roughly of 30% professionals of various trades, 30% of blue collars, 30% of low income/neets, and 10% woman.

The professionals and blue collars will quickly form functioning teams as they recognise the importance of team work. The neets and the woman follow.

With their tools they quickly made some basic shelters with the trees and plants. Primitive technology is seen having influence.

However, social tension and chaos quickly arise after the populace grew tired of the food, and the neets grew sick from lack of anime. The massively biased man to woman ratio also makes an effect.

With no sign of any help from the rest of the world, they quickly realise they will not survive long if any disease breaks out.

They start to fight and divide into groups. Many died from murder and disease.

Slowly the populace transformed into a new tribal culture based on the holy artefacts of modern hammer, saw and axe. They will whisper of the legendary infinite knowledge of the all knowing 4chan. A hunter gatherer society arise from the few remaining families, and humanity basically gone back 10,000 years.

Two generations later, the rising sea level flooded the island, killing all remaining anon and anonsons.

Two thousand years later, Tesla explorers from Mars will uncover a strange island in the middle of the sea, with nothing but some remains of a primitive society. All will be forgotten, except the cast iron dildo a random anon secretly produced and carefully preserved with wax and amber, which is now a display in a poly crystal casing in the Old Planet Museum on the orbit of Earth, titled "OP's favourite toy", a name that is found carved on the artefact itself.

>>1087447
We let dome fag build us a shelter then we off him.

>Be an electrical engineer
>Search for copper
>Search for magnet
>build a turbine
>lick the wires to electrocute myself
>get mildly burnt
>cry

>>1087447
don't worry, hydrogen blimp guy will fly us all to safety

We'll have a lot of lobsters roaming around in balls, that's for damn sure.

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>>1087447
I imagine this. And we have a daily collective clusterfuck of Autism to descide who is king. Bunkerbro automatically reigns supreme if he visits.

>>1087464
Dickfarmer checking in. Any anons object to my obvious superiority of casting cocks? I will take it upon myself to build such a dildo that any faggot who uses it will be crowned king Arthur.

>>1087470
Bult shitty coconut kareoke maching and do standup for the blue collars.

>>1087479
Rule number 1 of lobster fight club. We dont talk about lobster fight club.

Rule 2 is not fucking the lobsters as i know there will be at least one of u faggots try...

>>1087447
>Day 1
>Most /diy/ fags go out to find a home depot, none come back
>After 30 minutes there's a 99% fatality rate
>The remainder try to build shelters
>Spend all day arguing about the best way to nail shelter together
>End of day one: no progress has been made

>the day of excitement finally comes
>the /diy/ pallet craft convention
>on a private yatch, made of pallets
>even the pallet deniers gotta shout
>it's quite the affair
>much is learned. there are roughly 94% male and 6% female
>all is swell, electro fags passing around schematics and breadboards, fags sawing and machining shit, some rampant pallet craft, some fags in a corner working on sex toys, mudiy fags touting their modulars and axes, just overall really fucking gay
>deviation.jpg
>this little cunt is would with angst, starts breaking the masterful pallet work
>a few loud cracks and the gallery begins to flood
>sink.jpg

>>1087447

I'd attack the weakest person holding one of the tools, then use that tool to kill them and the person holding the next tool, and then use both to attack and kill the person holding the last tool

everyone else would eventually die off on their own, or be killed....not to worry, the meat would be smoked for later consumption

I'd find a coconut, name it Wilson, then sit on a beach doing absolutely nothing for a while

>>1087635
>a jagged atoll
>surviving anons come in on pallets
>a fag brought an axe, another brought a hack saw, yet another a hammer
>groups condense along the atoll, its like when in school you had those fieldtrips split into classes, and you slowly see classmates as the day goes on
>a few loners have gone off to wander the forest, but everyone else is on the beach
>what_do.jpeg
>chit chat, ideas going around, someone says shelter, okay
>disorganized effort to collect wood
>faggots realize palm is not wood
>a team of fags cuts with sa and axe, rest of fags just num around or try building stuff
>pile up palm logs, make primative log lean tos
>some smart fag makes a stacked hexagonal log shelter
>starts caking it with mud
>more fags come and help him
>hexagon fag sets his eye on some qt 3.14 in the team of fags thatching palmleaves over the mud to rain proof it

>>1087486
A noble project.

Cast away, and a cast a cock for castaways!

>>1087653
>>1087643
>this fag causes a commotion
>suddenly everyone's running
bunch of fags hole up in hexagons place, block the entrance with sand and mud

I'd wait for inevitable shipping containers to float by, row them to shore, and establish Containerworld, like the Kevin Costner movie but with less water and zero Costner.

>>1087656
>meanwhile, some of the loner anons have formed a tribe
>hunting through the night to see what lives on the atoll
>hear weird sound
>its like breathing, but constant
>think they've found game
>crazy femanon cuts her arm with rock and soaks the blood into a ball of detritus, says it's bait
>other fags too scared to question
>blood bait fag leads, approach noise
>turns into roaring
>atoll turns to firm ground, starts rising into some small rocky hills
>see noise is waterfall
>fags setup camp, blood bait fag and some others go off into the dusk to hunt

>>1087657
And with a 1/3rd ton of imitation crab meat we would be able to industrialize the local crab population to a sufficient level after the fake meat runs out.

If not we can fuck our brains out with a 6 axis robotic arm.

>>1087661
>first night
>hexagon fags lie in anticipation
>decide to just talk the night away between checking the barrier
>some fags point out murder fag can hack right through
>worry rises
>hexagon is chatting up qt 3.14 to no avail
>some fag takes a shit in the corner
>forget about worry, start yelling at shit fag

>hunt fags have got their first kill, clobber it to death with hammer
>it's a fat ass sea bird
>start fire with crude bow drill
>some smart fag rounds up some fish, roast them in palm leaves and all spice
>the 7 of them eat bird fish meal around fire
>warm hearted chit chat gets going, everyone loosens up
>bond.jpeg

>back at the hexagon
>still roasting shit anon
>some fags are talking about how they're gonna build a raft with pallet scraps
>dome fag is drawing lines in the sand
>hours pass, sun rays start coming through the unfinished roof

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>>1087670
>dome fag drawing lines in the sand

My sides

Where is everyone getting drinking water from, besides the emo queen tribe of waterfall?

>>1087485
I'd totally back bunkerbro for King Eternal. That's just meritocracy.

>>1087485
Buying old bunkers may be a dream of most /diy/ but that doesn't mean bunker bro has any special abilities over money

There are more skilled people on this board than bunker bro

We just vicariously live through him which means as soon as he loses his bunkers he is useless to us

>>1087698
See
>>1087700
Money isn't a merit

>>1087700
>Buying old bunkers may be a dream of most /diy/ but that doesn't mean bunker bro has any special abilities over money
He has more follow-through than the entire rest of /diy/ put together. He's also got production values. His tile-fu is surprisingly tight for an amateur.

So yea, Bunkerbro for Lord of Us Flies.

>>1087704
You are an idiot if you think he has anything more than money over most of /diy/

>>1087705
>You are an idiot if you think he has anything more than money over most of /diy/
No, I'm just detecting sour grapes.
If he had a ton of money, he wouldn't be doing the tiling himself. Tiling *sucks*. At least drywall and flooring are fun if you don't have to do it eight hours a day every day.

>>1087706
>bringing contractors into your bunker
It's like you don't even know the first rule of bunkers

>>1087715
I'm pretty sure that 'I have all the money in the world... I know! I'll buy a flooded bunker!' is higher up on the list than you seem to be thinking.

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>>1087654
Aint even a shitting. I am a litteral cocksmith already

>>1087667
But where get the motors anon? the motors!???

>>1087698
Yup. Even if hes a closetfag. He has earned it.

>>1087700
True. He got rich by luck and maybe skill. Od wager im more qualified with his money than him. Doesn't change the fact that he has graxed us with good times. He has earned it. Plus if he winds up being a cunt we just torch his shitty pallet throne and laugh

>>1087705
Well. For 1 he surfs this shit and hides his autism so he might. Ibmean my god. I talked a guy worth 20 mill from visiting us faggots because of the horrible hook this place has. Mutherfucker tried to start a /biz with crypto and i talked him out of it.

>>1087706
TILE/10 would rather do than any sort of frame insulatr drywall paint sheetrock. Fuck yuh...

>>1087739
you're one of those people who never cared about what colors the Lego they used were right?

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>>1087739
>>1087742

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>>1087742
Good guess.

Still don't.

Kek.

Mfw legos for christmas in some capacity my entire life. Im 30.

>>1087700
Speak for yourself mutherfucker. He has to be in the top 10 for lowest Autism score. I see this as being more of a democracy of children than and dictatorship anyway. Bunkerbro would just be a status symbol king and somewhat of a peacekeeper i would bet.

>>1088035
How many life long welders and fabricators are on this board? It's a solid 20% of this board

>>1087670
>some smart fag rounds up some fish, roast them in palm leaves and all spice
It is of note that this wouldn't be someone that would frequent >>>/ck/.

>>1087670
I...Is there more? What happened to Murderfag? Do the hunterfags come back to help the hexagonfags?

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>>1087935

>>1088037
A lot.

No professional training in either bit it carries over to a lot of other jobs.

Im building a smoker right now and never took a welding class. I built a few houses by having a babysitter over my shoulder.

>>1088117
Oh yeah. For sure eating burnt leave and charred fish but it is better than bugs and tree bark. Kek

>>1088134
>murderfag?

Please god tell me he is a troll and we dont have actual murderers.

>>1088144
Hahaha! Yup!

Never bored when i can keep a note book of 5 lifetimes of projexts that i will halfway build.

>>1088499
>isolated island, stranded, no food, no water, few tools, few woman, no anime
>4chan

Even if everyone is happy and friendly in the beginning, under such conditions things will degrade pretty fast

Although I am optimistic most of /diy/ is actually friendly and lawful in real life, can't say for the rest of 4chan

>>1088504
Right. Well. If it's an island i say we build a raft and send a group of volenteers out into the ocean to chance finding help.

Or if we wind up in easy mode like being stranded here in kansas you trip over food and fresh water. I mean fuck. There are 2 springs here at work and i accidently ran over a rabbit backing into my parking spot. Theres enough cattle here all you'd have to do is shake an epty feed bag and dome one with the hammer. Bam. *begins hunting for a corn field to set up a moonshine still.

>>1087447
A shipping container will eventually wash up on the beach and a civil war will break out among the islands population on how best to reinforce it prior to burial as a rape dungeon.

>>1088647
Let's say we really all got suddenly teleported to an island. The immediate thing to do as a group is find drinking water, and then food source, and then shelter.

If everyone cooperate and spread out to look for these things and report back at a agreed time, then the whole group will have good chance to survive and find water, food, shelter.

Mid to long term tasks will be to gather resources to build shelters, make basic toilets, make beds, make fireplace, things that will make life more comfortable.

Long term tasks is to build a small raft that will send out a well-stocked small group that will survive a long enough period of time to seek help, or gets rescued by a ship.

That is how it should go. The things that will kill us can all be identified already: food, warmth, sanitary, disease, personal safety (from animals etc), and group moral (prevent crimes and drama that will kill us all). If everyone works together, the chance for all of us to get saved will increase, and be more comfy while doing so for everyone.

In fact maybe a group from us will probably make life so comfy on the island they don't wanna go back. I don't underestimate /diy/'s ingenuity one bit.

I guess the lack of woman might be a problem. Or maybe it is a good thing. In ancient times men go to war in long periods of time without women and achieve great things as a group. Who knows.

With just an axe a saw and a hammer is already pretty good. Shit can be made without all these. Having actual tools will speed up the raft building process a lot, and make a better raft.

I say /diy/ has a good chance of survival barring unforeseen events like weather or disease.

>>1087670
>anon wakes with a start
>in his lean to, among a dozen or so beachers who didn't join the greater hexagon society
>dried blood flakes off his darkened hands

>hunt tribe sets out in early morning
>at this point, three leaders have emerged, the emo waterfall queen, a college kid and proclaimed NEET who self tought bushcraft, and a former navy fag, dishonorably discharged
>contention.gif
>other 4 tribe fags stay out of it

>somewhere deep in the forest, anon crawls from under palm leaves
>already naked
>finds small pool, drinks hand fulls
>walks aimlessly from clearing to clearing, avoiding the beaches

>hexagn fags are hungry
>want to leave but too scared
>shit fag does it again
>hexagon fag has had enough, digs way out
>still early, but sun is a good way up in sky
>leanto fags seem fine, oblivious to four corpses a few yards down beach
>hexagon fags trickle out more and more as they see the coast
>mingle with leaners

>fag in forest finds snake
>beats it with stick
>no fire but food's food

>"GOT YOU NOW"
>beach fag collective surround crusty blood hand fag
>some anon says they recognize him as murder fag
>dome fag offers to build zonohedron prison
>anon suggests scaphism
>some anons suggest fair trial
>argument breaks out about murder fags fate
>thirsty, hungry, decide to decide murder fags fate later
>tie murder fag up in cordage, dig pit, grate top with palm logs and weigh it down

>hunt tribe spots flock of seagulls on barren beach from mountain
>run for them down gully, run so far away

>>1088689
hexagon fags and the other tribes need drinking water or else they will start fainting and dying

shit fag will catch ass parasite due to shitty hygiene

eating raw snake will make you have cramps bcos indigestion and bacteria and parasite

murder fag will escape and probably think you guys are crazy

hunt tribe will start getting injuries bcos high activity, getting cuts from branches etc

professional tribe probably already built a shelter by the end of first day and sleep next to a camp fire, next to a small stream from the ground in the middle of forest or some other water source, and probably have proper job allocation already, some hunter gatherer and some make tools and cook and clean etc

>>1088695
It will all be alright in the end.

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Liking this bread

>>1089198
Me too anon. It will either go exceptionally well or horribly bad.

>>1087447
Without access to existing bodies of work, how much practical information could be preserved in a situation like this? Presuming the male/female ratio is ideal (aliensdidit) and the colony survives additional generations, once the original skilled tradesman die off what are the subsequent generations left with in terms of trade knowledge?

>>1090424
Earth abides

>>1090424
There is but one holy piece of wisdom known to all on the /diy/land, passed down to us by the ancients:
>Never buy power tools from Harbor Freight.
Its interpretation is a matter of religious dogma, the meaning having been lost long ago.

>>1090444
but aren't shipping containers harbor freight themselves?

oh what a contradicting religion the future DIY offspring will have

>>1087447
Make booze. Trade for shit.

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>>1090424
I'm sure we would teach them the basics?

>>1087447
Are we meant to build some kind of pioneer civilization or just get the fuck out of there? If it's the former, I think the people who have skills will be sorted pretty quickly and a basic plan will emerge within a couple days.

As a potter, the first thing I'm going to do after securing basic food, water and shelter is get a team and start digging clay to build kilns, furnaces and forges. The metal workers will be able to start smelting iron and making more tools. We're going to need to chop down a lot of trees for fuel and structures, so the more axes the better. First ceramic objects I will make will be water cisterns and filtration vessels. Then I'll do roofing tiles, brick, drainage pipes and pavers based on the building teams' specs.

>>1090570
Shit, I think cooking and storage pots are up on the list, too. That's going to open up more food sources.

>>1087489
Git-r-done

>>1087732
You need a cock ebay store!

Everyone loves the cock.

/diy/ is mostly male so we need traps for sexing. Not many, as they can service two at a time and get a hot meal, but sodomy will be deeply important to our culture.

Lots of sodomy. Not necessarily voluntary.

>>1090576
Sold some on easy but it's fucking 700 bucks for a sinker mold...

Casting by hand is stupid and gay. Fucking stank ass green sand.

>>1090577
fag

Is the village isolated against noise, too?

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>>1091128
>a shipping container washes ashore
>container fans are delighted.
>some among begins pulling it up onto the beach to make it an exodus boat
>they are vastly outnumbered by the prepper fags who confiscate the container and immediately begin digging a hole to buy it
>as they open it up behold! It is full to the hilt with egg crates. All empty.

>>1090425
Good book, bro.

>>1091114
Shut up, he's our only fuckhole.

>>1091860
I'll make you all my fuckholes.

>>1092730
I suck your cock and bite it off because hungry, then throw your testicles to the crowd.

We tie you to a tree and disembowel you. I toddle off happy with my hunk of flesh.

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>>1092730
Try it fucker. I will teach diy stab wound fucking 101!

>>1092746
I sacrifice my own life to chomp your knob. You will be slightly distracted by the amputation, long enough for the rest to swarm you.

>>1093069

And thus, the first war begins on /diystopia/

>>1087448
Pretty much this. This board has too many idiots.

>>1087732
These do look like cocktoys for children. Have any more cocklike cocks or just toycocks?

>>1087447
>a band of NEETs and shut-ins fibds themselves blinking in the harsh sunlight of the real world.
>50% immediately succumb to exhaustion from a 10 minute walk along the beach, exposure from the sun hitting their pallid skin and no Mountain Dew to hydrate them, or else for from asthma or minor allergies
>the one guy who knows how to light a fire starts doing so. A dozen fags with theoretical knowledge but no practical experience crowd around and interfere. It's a long cold first night with no light or warmth.
>morning - at least four fags went out foraging, exploring, or just plain decided to go it alone because "muh lone wolf". None are seen alive again.
>a small group decide to actually work together to build a shelter. Bitter arguments break out when half want to build a "sweet treehouse" and the others want to make a "completely bitchin' underground bunker". The two factions part ways.
>countless others start building their own ramshackle bivouacs and huts, but with no tools, fittings, instructions or Google most of these flounder
>the guy with the axe blunts it beyond use trying to dig a hole in rocky terrain. The handle eventually gets used as firewood.
>nobody knows who has the saw. The guy with the saw isn't telling as he doesn't want to share.
>the scattered groups of survivors settle down for another hungry night. One of the treehouse contingent attempts to light a campfire on a treetop platform. This causes a small forest fire, causing one casualty and half a dozen injuries caused by jumping from the burning tree.
>day three, and some survivors have had limited success knocking coconuts from trees with rocks and then cracking them open, also with rocks
>the bunker building group hits their first setback when a cave-in buries and kills three fags. The rest of the group agrees this could have been avoided by burying shipping containers.

>>1093333
(Fucking check em)
>They spend the next several hours drawing ambitious and impractical bunker schematics, debating the merits of bamboo versus wattle-and-daub as container materials, and debating who deserves the title of Bunkerbro The Second. No real work gets done.
>most of the CAD, 3dpg, programming and electronics fags have been relegated to berry-gathering and fishing duties since their fields of expertise are completely useless now
>a brainstorming session to design and create some fishing rods is carried out. 3d printing is proposed but put on hold until a suitable area is cleared; there are currently far too many useless saplings and sticks cluttering the site of the proposed workshop

Tl;dr: everyone would die in days.

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>>1093333
Quads of truth, DO NOT go on the island

>>1093445
you don't have a fucking choice that is the entire fucking point of this fucking thread

>>1087447
"Man if only we had some pallets and storage containers we could have a utopia"

>Forge Fags desperate for gas for foundry
>Propane Fag claims propane is the best gas, but is sad because we have no means for drilling yet.
>Propane Fag gets an idea and goes around harvesting farts storing them in coconuts cause methane.
>Electrician fags have already figured out how to generate static electricity by cutting all hair from their bodies and weaving it into shag carpet. The do nothing but walk around all day scuffing their feet and shocking each other giggling like giddy school girls.
>Propane Fag knows that propane can be made from methane by electrolysis. Electrician Fags now have a purpose converting farts into propane.
>Forge Fags are happy we now have propane that can be stored indefinitely without degrading.
>Forge Fags start making glass to be made into leyden jars to store static electricity and sacrifice a tool to be made into foil.
>Three quarters of the population die due to not knowing how to handle leyden jars properly.

Why does everyone think everyone else is retarded...

>flashbacks of container threads
>flashbacks of fuck loads of retarded questions
>flashbacks of spoonfed me x threads

Oh, right.

>>1087447
First thing i'd do would be to sit down and think of my life choices, and where i went wrong to end up in such a situation.

(1/3)

Some very important questions.

Why, and how, would everyone from /diy/ end up on an isolated island in the pacific?

Is it a plane crash or ship sink or some other transport related incident? Why is there no rescue? Why is everyone from /diy/ on the exact same plane/ship/whatever?

And why is there nothing except a hammer and saw and axe? Why would an accident wash up all the survivors, no luggage or wreckage but some specific items?

The only explainable reason of this situation would be, someone or something purposefully put us on this island, and purposefully left nothing but three specific tools. This must be some kind of experiment, or game of some sort, or some kind of hidden camera type television show. The only way for all of us to suddenly be kidnapped from society, they will have to have an accurate list detailing each of us, and to actually kidnap us all roughly the same time. To do this, we will all have to be IP logged based on browsing and posting frequency, location traced, identity verified covertly and targeted monitoring and profiling, to make sure we are the ones posting on /diy/, and to enable a successful kidnapping operation. The only organisation with such a capability would be some agency of a resourceful country, perhaps the US, Russia, or China, or less likely several others. Or extraterrestrials secretly studying us before a formal contact without wanting to spook the world governments, perhaps to study us for knowledge, or to protect themselves from us in general or from retaliation, or protecting their world from we initiating contact.

Cont. >>1093843
(2/3)
With the "how" solved, next comes the "whys". Why an isolated island, why us, and why three specific tools. This could be some experiment, funded to study a group of individuals of specific profiles and how they perform under a post-collapse scenario. Maybe in the case of aliens, to study how a specific profile of humans perform on an alien planet with extremely similar environments. Less likely, a game of entertainment for the very rich and powerful.

But why us, /diy/, of all groups of people? We can safely assume there is a core group of /diy/ individuals that browse and post frequently, a larger outer group that lurks but don't post, and a fringe group of individuals that only comes here, makes a stupid thread and leaves. The first two groups would form the core spectrum of /diy/ which is what is targeted. The only thing that sets us apart, as a group, arguably, would be unpredictability, resourcefulness and generally technologically creative, diversity in backgrounds, and the highest tendency to be unhinged from societal and ethical concerns or restrictions. In certain scenarios and to certain people or things, we may be collectively the most dangerous group of humans on this planet. Whoever are carrying out this operation must have this very notion in mind.

Cont. >>1093846

(3/3)

Assuming this is the case, we can bet we will be monitored on the island by means we will not be able to detect. We can bet we are also monitored right now and being actively profiled. We must also take into account of the existence of this thread itself, we can assume, the purpose of this thread can be a "heads up", a probe of our reactions, or simply another profiling exercise. They are either testing our reactions, or letting us know what they are planning. If whoever is behind the operation were to give away their existence, this would be the only, and the most obvious way we can tell, before we all arrived at the island at the same time. But to expose themselves in this fashion, the entire operation must be on the verge of collapsing, they could be dissatisfied with our current status, and are telling us to "get ready".

The entire plausible reason for this thread to exist would be a chance for us to get ready and coordinate before such an actual event in a soon future, or, OP is day dreaming again. We must prepare for the worst case scenario. We better get ready. We better sharpen up our survival skills, and we better organize and prepare.

TLDR Who will join me in fucking some blue aliens?

>>1093848
Or perhaps they're wondering if they should shoot us, before throwing us out of a plane.

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>>1093333
>>1093370
Good stuff

>>1093843
>How?
Evil wizard
>Why?
Evil wizard
>>1093848
>Who will join me in fucking some blue aliens?
Exophilia? Count me in.

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>>1093229
I did cast one over 3 pounds in lead.

Need a sculptor so I can make mother mold.

#Cockrell.

Who need a 4 ton dick?

>>1093333
MOAR. fucking dying anon. U should make a damn /diy book

>>1087447
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9AoGc-OTCk

>>1094378
people who take themselves too seriously who like modern """"art""""

they'd pay pretty good money if you can drum them up

you could even make custom cocks

the only thing really stopping you is how niche that desire is, I'd start on the internet