Project Penor

>>1071705
Fiskars hatchet for scale reference

>>1071705
>cares about male friend enough to make art gift
>art gift is male genital
>claims no homo
somebody is lying.

>>1071709
Hey man we're pretty good pals and I know hend find it hilarious
I'm just gonna claim a second no homo just in case tho

>>1071710
Haha it's just a prank bro. I'm not really gay but here's a giant wooden dick.

>>1071716
It's just a plank bro*

>>1071705
>If anyone wants to share knowledge /experience they're welcome to do so
those friskar/ plastic axes are shit. Go get a wood one before you bust your face when the head breaks off and rebounds off the wood.

>>1071725
I used a fiskar axe for a long time and never had a problem with it.
I have since upgraded to a gransforsbruks though

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>>1071705
>No homo btw
>>1071716
>I'm not really gay

R I G H T . . .

you need a drawknife, son

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>>1071705
>not making it from black walnut
im sure your "buddy" will cherish it forever
no homo

Make it hollow so it won't crack.

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G-guys, we're not gay


>>1071725
It's not too bad. Not the greatest, but it certainly serves its purpose

>>1071871
I'm gonna have to find another piece of wood anyway, this one ended up being rotted to shit

>>1071709
It's not a claim, it's a declaration. It works like no offense. It makes whatever preceded it not gay. So when you give me head and follow it up with no homo your sexuality isnt in question. Neither is mine, because its not gay if you suck my dick. It just means i like getting my dick sucked.

>>1072003
>because its not gay if you suck my dick. It just means i like getting my dick sucked.
Lol, this "logic" is so common that the researchers invented the term "men who have sex with men" to get faggots to answer their questionnaires properly.

>>1072007
>researchers invented the term "men who have sex with men" to get faggots to answer their questionnaires properly
It's a problem primarily in minority communities, who retain their concepts of toxic masculinity. Whates were willing (mostly) to identify as gay, but blacks/hispanics wouldn't tell anyone because they didn't consider themselves gay for fucking dudes - because being gay is effeminate. So it made tracking STD spreads in minority communities fucking awful.
It's really interesting, you should take a look, anon.

>>1071705
use ebony stain

>>1071725
confirmed for never using fiskars axe
those knockoff ones are utter garbage but genuine article is the real deal
I was very reluctant to get my first one but since I got it I recommend them to everyone and I think I know what I'm saying since I happen to own quite a bit of a woodland and I go through a whole lot of wood on regular basis.

>>1072088

We've been using a fiskars axe for a long time. Also a machete from Fiskars for when the fucking weeds grow to dense in the forest.
The real ones are great. They do their job perfectly. They're designed to be ergonomic, but not sado-ergonomic. So they're actually useable.

>>1071705
How big?

>>1072363
>sado-ergonomic
What? Could you post an example?

>>1072372
I'm thinking decently in the realm of "impossibly large". About the size of a puppy or something.

Any suggestions for wood? I've got some birch, could probably get spruce and applewood. There's juniper I could harvest but I don't know where I could find it. Fir as well but I want to go for a hardwood pun so I'm not too keen on it

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>>1072088
>I go through a whole lot of wood on regular basis.

>>1071705

Please keep in mind:
- This is a SFW board. No fleshlights or other sex toys.
>>670504

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>>1072661
It's not a sex toy though. Merely a decorative phallus of impossible proportion

>>1071733
Gransfors bruks axes are sexy

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>>1071871
>>1071733
>>1071807
>>1071872
>>1072082
>Op makes a thread about making a large wooden phallus and within an hour, several experienced phallus makers come out of the woodwork to give advice.
Never change, /diy/.

>>1072700
They're likely Finns.

>>1072649
>About the size of a puppy
Reminds me of an obscenely large rubber dong that was "found in the room" by a guest at the hotel I work for.

>suggestions for wood
Teak, black walnut, something really hard. Also, buff it. Buff it good.

>>1072661
>No fleshlights or other sex toys
Can't think of any reason someone would attempt to actually use an "impossibly large" WOODEN DICK.

>>1072753
>finn detected

>>1072788
I'd rather not have to buy any wood, but the hardest local wood is probably juniper

Also,
>obscenely large rubber dong
Do tell.

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>>1072700
>come out of the woodwork
Holy fuck I just got that. Nice pun.

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>>1071705
Finland get out

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>>1072966
Okay, so there were these really polite black ladies in one of the rooms at the hotel. Around ten pm, one of them came down holding something wrapped in a towel. It was so big the guy on shift thought it was a baby, until he unwrapped it. Ended up throwing it in the trashcan, pic related. The dong stuck out the top of the trashcan about six inches. Lighter for scale. I think they brought it in with them, there's no way the housekeepers missed that thing.

>>1073266
Nice.

I'll get started at the wooden peen this weekend, hopefully. I've got a piece of birch there about the length of my forearm and probably three times as thick, should make for a good obscenely large dong

>>1071723
Under r8ed post

>>1074081
Thanks anon I feel very proud after remembering that I made that post.

>>1071705
Make sure it's uncircumsed and veiny enough.

No one likes a cut dick with no veins sitting around their house. Not even homos


No homo

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>>1071705

It becomes quite gay once you start sanding it

I know firsthand

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>>1074147
at that point, i just have to post this.

>>1074140
Circumcised is easier to carve though
But I will try for a few veins

>>1074147
If you have a tip or two it'd be appreciated
>no homo

How do you guys deal with splinters?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7sm_QISrK1M

There are some SECRETS about fiskars steel I know of. Aren't allowed to tell because of business secrets and shit. Smirk. Smug one.

>>1074243
Congrats, that's irrelevant and no one cares

>>1074226
VIGOROUS sanding

>this post is like my buddy who sent our mutual friend who is deployed a carve your own pipe kit . The receiving dude is straight edge(without being an asshole about it, you know the ones.)But honestly it was to keep him busy during his free time.

>>1071705
this is literally a how to make a sex toy thread why has this been allowed to live for 7 days

mods must not even be in the same state as their computers

>>1074559
The sticky rule was put there mainly to remove "dildo = condom over a cucumber" style trash. But hey, feel free to report this thread.

>>1074559
At the point of "impossibly large", it becomes decoration and not a sex toy.

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>>1072387

>>1074267
How true! That's how anon gets his kicks.

The posted video is about wooden phalluses though. Very recommended. Unfortunately it's better if you understand the language, as most shit is...

>>1074614
I just assumed it was anti-Fiskars shilling but I guess that's somewhat informative
Fucking Finns

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>>1072387

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>>1072387
as a sadist I have a firm grasp on one way you could define this term...

here have something sado-aesthetic

>>1074627
Nope. As a finn I obviously have a couple of fiskars axes.

>>1074587
There's no "impossible" if you try hard enough

>>1074932
You say that but I'm fairly certain no one has a dong the size of a newborn infant

>>1075047
well, not a naturally occurring one...

as a member of my local fetish community I will say that there exist dildos approaching that size that people DO use...that is a performance I won't be sitting in on again any time soon

>>1075054

Go to /gif/ every now and then and you'd find a fisting thread that is pretty much the exact same shit over and over and will actually turn you off of fisting even if it is your fetish.

>>1075055
insertions aren't my thing

impact based sadomasochism is my thing.
>>1074845 look like 1"x6" or 1"x8" construction to you?

>>1071710
make the wooden penis into a train whistle
paint "bro job" on the side of it

>>1076055
What is the easiest material to work with?

>>1076156
dicks

>>1076055
How do you design the dicks? Do you go with the same basic design, or switch it up from time to time? Have you moulded around human dicks? human dicks besides yours?

>>1076897
I have done a clone-a-willy replica of my dick. Bought it last year as a Christmas present for waifie. It's some soft shit, comes with a wibe.

>>1071871
Given the ready availability of part black walnut logs around my house I might cop OP's idea and carve one from a single piece for my own enjoyment. No homo though

>>1077547
Large*

>>1076901
You need a clay peener? Does it have to be fired? And how big?

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OP here, this is the wood I plan on turning into a woody.
Again, Fiskars hatcher for size reference.

>>1079531
that will make a solid cock dude... no homo

>>1079552
Thanks man. N-no homo

>>1079531
>>1079531
>>1079531
Is that russian olive?
where is this woodcock you have been bragging about OP?

>>1081045
Nah my dude that's birch
I haven't actually started at it yet. I haven't really found the time or the energy to get at it

>>1071705
>just a joke, bro

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>>1081045
>>1081101
Actually, I decided to just get at it. I've got the "protection" removed.

>>1081131
I-I s-said no homo

it doesnt really look much like penus to me
is it abstract art?

>>1081169
Only just started yet
Nice get btw

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Shaping up nicely. Turns out it was green wood so working with it is a breeze and there's been no chance for it to rot at all

>>1081217
>CUT

>>1081219
>trying to carve out a foreskin

>>1081219
>>1081237
I'm no done yet, lads :^)

>>1071705
Send it to his office or wherever he's working in a big red box with shiny ribbons to make his co-workers curious too.

>>1079531
Did you get the gift package from Clas Ohlson? I actually got the exact same one. Really like it, although I don't have much to compare it with. Sort of unrelated, but have you ever made a kuksa? I am thinking of making one, but not sure yet. Good luck with the dick!

>>1081219
>>1081237
>>1081339

OP listen to me. You must make a functional foreskin out of leather and attach to the creation.
Godspeed.

We've got cracking, boys

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>>1082385

>>1082387
Dicks are supposed to be in cracks, not the other way :(

>>1082387
next time take a dry piece of wood, faggot

>>1082402
I thought it was until I started working with it, faggot

>>1082469
How did you figure it was dry exactly? It looks like you just took a branch off the ground and worked with it.

Wood needs a year per inch of thickness to stabilize before you can work on it without that happening. You have to leave it sitting in your workshop for a year or two before you ever put a tool to it. The only thing you can do before then is strip the bark off.

Since you're only sending it to a friend as a joke anyway, it'll probably be fine if you just fill it in with something like epoxy. But for the future, wood you find on the ground is not considered dry.

Op next time just sit on it and the dick impressions from your anus should shape the wood.

>>1082489
My father gave to me so I just assumed it it was meant for firewood
Epoxying it probably the best option, so I guess it's decided for me that I'm going to paint it rather than try to stain epoxy

>>1071709
I'd carve you a 4.5inch benis, no homo.

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>>1081569
Anon. I like the way you think. Biden meme 4 u.


The fuck are my memes. Reee

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>>1082387
>mfw OP cracked his dick.

>>1079531
are you satisfied with your fiskar?
(going to buy the X25 or X27)

>>1084497
It's decent enough. Not great, not shit. Gets the job done

>>1085469. OP got his wood polished yet

>>1085572
Every day ; ^ )

>>1087136
Kek. Get the show on the road op. I wanna see this thing erected