/efg/ - Erotic Fiction General (formerly /wst/)

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A guide to constructive criticism, because "Your writing/artwork sucks" doesn't help anyone get better at it.

http://pastebin.com/1s1fLktL

Currently we are creating a set of guides to aid new and upcoming smut writers, if you feel as if you can contribute anything, please do so in-thread!

Completed guides:

Smut Writing for the Sexually Inexperienced: http://pastebin.com/znDUfbtB

Writing from the Female Perspective: http://pastebin.com/M5FNyVWH

Guide to writing monsters in smut: http://pastebin.com/iXjPcUTb

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And last but not least:

How To Make Yourself Write
http://pastebin.com/RrXff0M8

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>>6695820
Hey, I didn't get any criticisms last thread for my story and I would really like some pointers before I continue on. Not just grammatical, what do you think of the characters and action? So, re-re-repost:

I got the second chapter finished for the cleric story I started recently. Little bit of yuri, little bit of hetero rough sex. Hope you like it, and any criticism will be appreciated!

Ch 2: Succubus and the Sorceress
http://pastebin.com/EuEt0twb
Tags:
>Brown elf
>Yuri/lesbian
>Double penetration/DP
>Bisexual
>Futa/shemale
>Anal
>Vaginal
>Rough sex
>Consensual domination
>Cum eating

And I'll include the first chapter, because why not

Ch 1: Conbert and the Cleric
http://pastebin.com/b5yyJnJM
Tags: Bisexual, malexfuta, futaxmale, shemale, anal, prostate play, rimjob, frotting, cumswap

Seriously, please critique me!

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I don't know how may drawfags still hang around these threads (Skavanon posted some promising looking sketches last month then vanished again), but if anyone's here and taking requests, I'd like to see this picture flash-forwarded a bit. Three angel strippers/poledancers being fucked by a whole room full of devils.

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>>6695841
aftermath

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>>6695863
Yo, I was hoping this story continued! Many thanks, Anon.

>>6695824
>>6695851
The guide writing thing never really took off, so there's no point to reposting it now. Whoever makes the next OP should remember that.

This got in right before the old thread died, so I thought I'd re-up for anyone who might've missed it.

I've seen enough requests for proofreaders and editors and story-help stuff in these kinds of threads that I figured I'd go ahead and mention I do this kind of stuff IRL as a job and I'd be happy to lend my talents to any aspiring smut writers. Just because it's porn doesn't mean it can't be a great story, too.

http://soylentorange.tumblr.com/post/139390957245/erotic-editing-services-your-stories-better-for

I also do a bunch of fetish writing myself, if anyone wants to critique it:

http://thefwank.deviantart.com/

>>6695855
So is it shemale or futa? This is important.

>>6696091
I hope this isn't advertising on 4chan.

>>6696380
He's offering to do it for free, that's not advertising.

>inb4 the obvious comparisons

>>6696470
actually, nothing in his post mentions the service being free, merely offering a quote.

This is, by definition, advertising on 4chan.

>>6696378
Uh... the cleric doesn't have a vagina, if that's what you're asking.

The elf is all woman and does, if that helps.

>>6696509
Is there a character that has breasts and no vagina?

Another one from the tail end of the last thread: https://docs.google.com/document/d/12GYCKlZlEc99fMIS6bQLl4BTuv99abb3gErZ0j1DMKg/

Tags: cock transformation, gender bender, huge insertion, f/f/m -> f

I'm hoping to get a bit more crit on this before I post it on Literotica. Positive and negative responses welcome, so long as they're not "you suck and you're a horrible writer."

Alright divas and deviants, a tale of royalty and dragons has dawned upon us. In all honesty, I'm looking for some criticism. Want to improve on future stuff even if I'm competent with what I can do now.

http://pastebin.com/ReKr9A8Q

Tags: monstergirl(boy?), fantasy, romance, story-focused, vanilla

>>6696559
You mean total lack of genitals, Barbie-style? Nothing like that, no.

>>6696674
No. I mean tits, dick (balls optional, but probably), and no vagina.

>>6696750
That's a shemale. Inferior to futa in every way.

>>6696758
That's, like, your opinion, man.

Having a slit at the base of a penis just seems so... structurally unsound. Takes me out of it.

Let me solve thins for you. All forms of dickgirl are equally shit.

>>6696780
clit –> penis
It's that simple. Not structurally unsound at all. This isn't FATAL.

>>6696783
Thou shalt not fetish shame here.

If you want futa and not shemale, write it, or draw it, or do ANYTHING other than complain about it.

>>6696793
futa falls under dickgirl shit

>>6696785
Not him, but I'm inclined to agree. While I don't mind futa, the anatomy just doesn't work. It requires either a bifurcation of the seminal vesicles or an asymmetrical construction around the vaginal canal. Moreover, there is no support for the penis, meaning that sustaining an erection is not only incredibly difficult, but risky. The point of attachment would be anterior to the vaginal canal, so it would be prone to flopping constantly.

At the end of the day, you're stuck with handwavy justification to permit that anatomy. It probably doesn't bother most people, but I find it to be distracting sometimes, particularly when the author keeps the prostate where it is in men. How the hell does that work?

>>6696795
Still fetish shaming, and so still not welcome.

>>6696805
neither are shitty fetishes

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>>6696811

>>6696822
>being surprised dickgirls are popular on /d/

Maybe you should find a tamer porn board than this if it offends your sensibilities so badly.

>>6696826
dickgirls have never been popular in /wst/ though

>>6696833
That was the past, before we came to /d/ Things have changed since then, and it's stupid to act as if we never left /tg/.

We're /efg/ now, and we're not in a position to decide what content should and should not get a pass. If people want to write about dickgirls, fine. I may not like it, but at least they're writing instead of bitching incessantly like some people here seem hell-bent on doing.

>>6696836
>we're /efg/ now
Only until we decide that /tg/'s calmed down enough for our resurgence.

>>6696836
Just because we're on /d/ doesn't mean these threads have to become yet another shitty dickgirl thread.
>>6696838
and /d/ would get abandoned so fast if we could go back to /tg/

>>6696838
>>6696841
Stop deluding yourselves. That's never going to happen- someone already tried that and it autosaged in 10 fucking minutes. Does that sound like it's even remotely suitable for a "resurgence" anytime now? Besides, there's no rule that one fic with a dickgirl means we've changed our focus. Mostly because 99% of everything written here since the move hasn't featured even a single dickgirl', so stop whining.

The sooner you accept that we're here to stay, the better- and I say this as one of the people who's been here from the very beginning. Now, stop pining about the past and work on your writing, or otherwise go look for greener pastures.

You are writing something, aren't you? If not, it's never too late to start!

>>6696844
That's probably because of the word filter. They never got rid of it. It just has to be named something else. I'd wait another 4-5 months before trying, though.

>>6696841
For better or for worse, dickgirl fans aren't like furry fans. They can actually coexist with other fans in non-dickgirl threads.

>>6696853
Funny given /d/'s history with dickgirl spammers shitting up threads and needing to have threads for every single stupid variation of a chick with a fick.

>>6696848
It's already been a year since our banishment at least. If they were going to let us back, it would have happened by now. Plus, the fact we were ever here at all will now be endlessly used against us if we do somehow get a reprieve.

But anyway, since nobody but me seems to give a flying fuck about honest criticism, I'll drop some off. I don't have much time for it, so I'll focus on this one.>>6696644

The Good:
>The prince is appropriately insufferable.
>Interesting interaction between Faiva and Maya's father. Interesting implications regarding their past.
>The courtship is sweet and romantic, more so than I expected.
>Smut is short, but well-written.

The Bad:
>Typo in line 39: "Calm", not "Clam".
>Language in the smut bits could have been better. "Cunt" and "cock" don't really fit with the rest of the fic's tone. Not a big issue, but one worth noting.

Overall, a better read than I anticipated and with a very nice romance. Good work.

>>6696864
And as it turns out, I do in fact have time for more.

>>6695855
First off, full disclosure- I don't particularly care for dickgirl stuff or DP, and I didn't get the chance to read the first part of the series so I've probably missed parts of the context. Accordingly, I'll focus on stylistic, grammatical, and writing issues.

The Good:
>First person stuff is usually not a good idea to pull off for reasons that would take me too long to recount here, but you seem to have a good grasp on it.
>Second smut scene was nicely done. Very intense, and an interesting look at the domme/sub mindset.
>Humor was fairly nice. Not much to say beyond that. Amusing to see a duchess cursing like a sailor and demanding to be facefucked without a hint of shame.

The Bad:
>First part of the first smut scene seemed to be all telling and no showing to me: more like I was reading a description of them having sex than anything else. Second smut scene was much better in this respect, however.
>There should be a "threesome" tag in here.

Overall, while I'm no fan of some of the more prominently featured fetishes in there the story itself is well-written, and I feel future installations in the series could end up being even better.

Anyone else who wants feedback, hurry up and post here and I'll get back to you as soon as I can manage.

I'm curious, how many of you guys post in /erp/ over on /trash/?

>>6696931
>/trash/
What, did they get kicked off of /soc/ somehow? That's news to me.

>>6696936
Oh, wait. I thought you meant /erpg/, which is on /soc/.

Never even heard of the one on /trash/ until now, and now I wish I hadn't.

Funny thing, I only did the dickgirl character because I saw it as a shotcut for having a bisexual story when I only considered doing one chapter. I had no idea some folk would dislike it so much.

>>6696877
Appreciate it! The first scene was supposed to be... well, "bad" because the protag was slowly losing his soul, but I don't think that came across quite right. Glad you liked the rest of it, though.

>>6696986
Some people hate everything. It's something you just have to get used to when writing smut. Generally speaking, some people will hate you, no matter what you do. Some people will love you. Most people don't care that much.

>>6696864
It was semptember last year so not even six months.

>>6696864
Thanks a ton anon! Glad I didn't have as many faults as I thought I would. The language thing for smut scenes is something I need to work on, I realize now, so I'll try to work on it from hear on out.

May I request for a picture of a giantess Slaanesh dangling a female Eldar over her open mouth, tongue lolled out? The rest I will leave to artistic license.

Quite obviously a vore related request. It's something that's been in mind for a while, and something I've wanted to seen in illustration. I also have plans of writing up a story revolving around the same idea, if I can ever find the time to do so in my schedule.

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Let me know if girl x animalgirl selfcest gets done or you need clarification on something, thanks.

>>6697023
>Some people hate everything.
Oh sure, but I actually starting coming here after the move and I had no idea dickgirls were so unheard of back on /tg/.

Hey guys... chapter 13 of "Welcome to Saturn Beta" has been posted. <3

http://www.tgstorytime.com/viewstory.php?sid=2954&chapter=13

Enjoy! There will be genuine sex in the next chapter.

>>6697290
So what are the tags?

>>6697222
One of th old regulars put it in words better than I ever could, so without further ado:

>In case you have somehow never been on 4chan before, "futanari" (or futa for short) is a word denote women who happen to have penises (aka "dickgirls"). For reasons too complicated to explain here, this is a very common fetish - so common, in fact that /d/ was first made for the sole purpose of containing it all. However, this glut of material is not conducive to writing futa material for several reasons. To paraphrase one anon, "I don't mind the idea of a chick with a dick, but dear god are they so overplayed, it's not even /d/ to me anymore. Futa is BORING, futa is OVERPLAYED, FUTA HAS BECOME FUCKING VANILLA, it's like the first thought fetish writers have when it comes to women dominating/sexually aggressive towards men is "put a dick on her", SHOW SOME GODDAMN CREATIVITY FOR ONCE. And don't even get me started on how it's always a stupidly huge cock to show how much better they are at fucking than a guy." Quite simply, there is an entire board dedicated to futa material, so it's strongly advised that you consider putting a unique spin on the idea rather than just adding it for its own sake.

>>6697222

There were some futanari stories back then, at least one of them was extremely popular even.

I believe it was called Oil and Promethium, by the author known as CB. Looking at it now, it does have an immense number of views across all its respective parts.

The only people who seem to voice a hatred for the fetish are people who apparently can't handle people liking other things than them, and would rather shitpost than ignore what they don't like, going off of the posts in this thread.

>>6697473
>consider putting a unique spin on the idea rather than just adding it for its own sake
Well damn, now I wish I had gone with my original idea of the cleric's holy symbol being a magic strap-on, but I was being lazy.

Ah well, the damage is done and it seems more people like it than don't, so I guess it sticks.

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>>6695820
http://pastebin.com/Xjn2pUVh
Haven't seen this one for a while
Should there be a sequel or more of them?

>>6697913
Nobody will complain if you do a quick retcon. Besides, it makes no sense that a priestess of the goddess of infertility be made incapable of bearing a child because she serves said goddess. Just go ahead and do it, it'll be for the best.

>>6697932
If you want to make a request, say it straight out.

>>6697445
What do you mean?

>>6698164
You seriously don't know what tags are?

It's what fetishes are in there, what pairings, what setting, and so on. What you can expect to be in the fic without having to read it all first. No tags, no readers. It's that simple.

>>6697913
>>6697940
I second this idea. Retcons are nothing and it's a much more interesting variation. It also opens up some more vanilla scenes for later.

>>6697473
I wish they would go back to regular sizes rather than the literally grotesque forms they have now taken. It's so rare to see reasonably sized stuff.

>>6697859
Where the hell has Chaos Beetle gotten to, anyway? I need moar.

I really hate 40k stories.

>>6698325
He's probably busy with RL stuff. A lot of our authors are these days.

>>6698342
You came to the wrong place, then, friendo.

>>6697099
>May I request for a picture of a giantess Slaanesh dangling a female Eldar over her open mouth, tongue lolled out? The rest I will leave to artistic license.
I'd suggest looking into Karbo, he might be persuaded to do it...

>>6697109
Well I don't know if I'll ever get around to it, but I already told you that...

>>6697913
Write it anyway, keep both versions.

And write what you want to write, even if it takes more time. Lazy shortcuts can be tempting, but benefit no one. Least of all yourself, since you won't be satisfied with the end result.

>>6697859
>Looking at it now, it does have an immense number of views across all its respective parts.

I wouldn't put too much faith in those numbers. Most hits on open pastes are made by bots.

>>6695834

What is with him and cucking.

I lied, I'm not doing a dark elf with stud thing. I am however working on some Dark Eldar or Chaos Marines.

Anyone feel up to seeing some Incubi plowing (idk maybe a Banshee or female Striking Scorpion), or a TzeenMarine getting bird blowjobs?

>>6698499
>I'm not doing a dark elf with stud thing.
Awww, I was looking forward to that. You still going to do it eventually?

>>6698499
Make it a female Warp Spider who mistimed her jump (and I'll leave whether on purpose or not to you) and I'm sold.

>>6698499
Yes. Yes please.
>>6698537
How do you make an easily recognizable warp spider girl thought ?
Banshees are classic, scorpions girls have their braids things, reapers girls look chuuni, what about spiders ? They are crazy, short haircuts of strange colors?

>>6698580
Web patterns on the clothes or tattoos would be the easiest way visually.

Personality-wise, a weird mix of recklessness and cautiousness.

>>6698498
>Using "cuck" incorrectly
Stop

>>6698498
I'm pretty sure it doesn't count as cuckolding if the suposed cuck is fucking or being fucked by the same guy his GF is boning. At most that's just a bisexual threesome.

>>6684570
>Hypnotize
>Tags: hetero, monster girl, beholder girl, gazer, consensual hypnotism, no penetration, romance, explicit hand-holding
>http://pastebin.com/KSsRriyM

Finally finished reading this one last night. Thought it was very cute and well written. Wouldn't mind seeing a sequel.

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Can someone recommend some good breast expansion/lactation stories, especially ones where the breasts grow to immobilizing sizes that haven't been posted on the overflowingbra?

Plz, thank you, <3 <3 <3

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>>6698821

As much butt as boobs, but immobilizing nonetheless:
http://spiralingstaircase.deviantart.com/gallery/3401314/Juggalos

>>6698680
It's gay is what it is.

>>6698468

Bots do exist, but they can be accounted for on a fairly even basis across all the stories in an author's pastebin page. Looking at CB's, there's a way higher amount of views on a few stories. Some are considerably older than Oil and Promethium and yet have nowhere near as many hits. Therefore, it's safe to make general assertions regarding the popularity of certain stories over others.

>>6698342

We have a lot of non 40k stories too. Nothing to worry about.

>>6699174
It's bisexual, but you're getting there.

>>6699200
It's certainly to the left of straight.

You know, since this is a place for requests... I always always always wanted to read some story where a woman ends up transforming, either accidentally or intentionally or whatever, into a femme-y gay fuccboi. Like they realize that despite the fact that they're not a man (or boy as it might be, their might be some age regression to 18 years old), on the inside they're still a cock hungry slut, and so behave appropriately. Trapping out, going to gay bars, basically they become this sexed out power bottom.

As for the transformation, eh. I suppose the more detail the better. It'd be like, I don't know, a rich matronly woman accidentally possesses the body of her brain dead nephew through a spell gone awry...

Now they're young, rich, sleight, and so so so very horny.

Or maybe even better, it's an accident for a Christmas Cake virgin, thought they'd be better off getting a man with a little magical help... only to turn into this luscious piece of boipussy.

Or dealers choice, I guess?

>>6698502

ye, waiting for the mood and time to strike. also because I had prior engagements that I must fulfill.

>>6698537
>>6698580

I'll try spider or scorpion then and see what works.

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So I finished writing something. I'm not terribly pleased with it, since 3rd person writing isn't my strongest point and I think it skirts a bit too close to a couple of tropes that I generally dislike, but for better or worse it's done now. Please excuse any proofreading issues, I'll try and give it another pass over tomorrow.

http://pastebin.com/cv8dwcxk
Tags: F-Drow/MMM-Humans, Half-Orc, public nudity, gangbang, facial, oral, anal, vaginal.

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>>6699387

>"Look! No spiders, no cobwebs!"

Oh the disappointment.

No, but for real, it's aces. Delightfully depraved and more purple than an oxygen-starved albino. The focus on the female side of things as opposed to the male perspective is relatively refreshing to read, and you do a good job of writing a drow without resorting to the typical stereotypes. It's the kind of fare I've come to expect from you by now, and I say it works well.

If I had to offer a criticism, on a general level, your prose is thick, and not always welcoming in the occasional huge paragraphs that feel almost like you could get lost in when reading. In addition, while you are clearly an expert in use of purple prose, it does slow down the pace at which the work can be read, and might be a bit off-putting for the average reader due to its complexity. It's honestly a style thing, so it's hard to argue from any objective standpoint. I know you've critiqued some of my works as being too bland and simplistic in places due to my typical style, so that's really just proof that maybe this is more of a personal concern than one that would be shared on a wider scale.

I didn't notice any particular grammar errors in my admittedly quick read-through, though.

Have a good one.

>>6699704

Sorry, more specifically I mean that I feel you may be using more purple prose than is healthy for the piece's pacing. But like I said, I can't really make that kind of statement with full confidence in my own judgment.

>>6699190

No it isn't. It all depends on whether the story has been pasted as public or not. You can do the test yourself easily.

Number of hits is a piss-poor indicator of popularity, even worse than the general mood of the thread/amount or lack of feedback. (Not great indicators themselves since it's much easier to ignore or hate on something; on that we agree.)

>>6699760

If you are referring to the hits a piece gets from being posted initially as public and from bots who access the link from the recent pastes page (which is all of them afaik), those cap out within a few hundred before the paste falls off the recent pastes list. There's no evidence that bots continue to hit public pastes after that, as they have no way of finding said pastes.

Moreover, I know many old authors got into the habit of posting their pastes as initially unlisted and only making them public a few hours later so as to specifically avoid getting bot hits on their pastes. I've actually seen CB forget to set one of his stories to public because of this very tactic before, and someone had to ask him where it was before he fixed it.

It's true that in the short term, the number of hits that a story gets is unreliable as evidence for popularity even with it being unlisted until it falls off the recent pastes page. This is because a story might get a large number of hits from the thread due to its tags or premise, only for the actual content to not be particularly appealing and for it to have minimal long-term increase in hits.

However, the longer a story exists, and the more hits it accumulates, the more reliable it is as a method of measuring popularity, as these hits could only be from people who are actively going back and re-reading it, or new people who have found it on the master list and are intrigued by the tags.

>>6699772
You'd be wrong. The only way to be "sure" of your hit count is to keep the links on unlisted/private indefinitely.In a perfect world, every view would then be from a living user. But considered the links are posted on a public wiki, it's certainly not foolproof. (And that's leaving any manipulation from the author out of it, but cynical as I may be I really doubt it is the case here.)

But seriously, any "click-count" is highly unreliable as fuck as an indicator of popularity. No matter how much time has passed or how well protected it is.

>>6699843
I've found that putting it on a google doc and seeing how many people looking on it is a good indication of how popular it is as a rule.

(In the process of doing so, I also discovered that Electric Sleep and Electric Awakening had been linked to from a popular robosexuality forum. I think that makes me internet famous or something, I dunno. Well, as long as I don't need to give autographs...)

>>6699843

I disagree. At this point you seem only to be arguing that the number of hits isn't valid as a loose measurement of popularity because you have some vendetta against the idea, and continue to insist you are right and all arguments opposing your viewpoint are wrong, without actually providing evidence to support your claims. There is no indication that bot hits make up the majority of any story's views given that we know a rough average number of hits that a story might get when it is public and on the recent pastes page, and that in specific cases these hits are flatly avoided.

Moreover, there is no indication that the links being available on 1d4chan leads to an increase in bot hits either.At least, I've never seen a sudden or significant jump in views from adding a link to the page.

Finally, you seem to believe that having any bot hits at all makes the view count an unreliable measurement for popularity, which is extremely foolish. In my opinion, bot hits could account for 1 to 10 percent of all hits on a story and no more. All the ones with the high view counts like Oil and Promethium are so incredibly higher in hits than other stories that are of the same age or older that the odds are greater that they are actually popular than there being some sort of entirely random bot assault that has artificially pumped those numbers over the year or so that the stories have been listed. Again, these high hits are true of every single part of the story, spread across three different pastes. If it was just the one paste, the idea that view hits are too random to be a valuable measurement would be more believable. Same goes for series like Business and Pleasure, which has an insane number of views across all of its parts as well, and is well-known to be highly popular.

Frankly, I don't appreciate your tone, and ask you to stop posting unless you intend to be more respectful from here on out.

>>6699901
Does it even matter? What you should be worrying about is making new content, not worrying about how popular old content is.

>>6699901
>Frankly, I don't appreciate your tone, and ask you to stop posting unless you intend to be more respectful from here on out.

Aww... is the poor baby butthurt?

>>6699901
You have no idea on how web robots work, do you?

Practice your own advice and shut the hell up yourself, instead of making verbose and haughty posts full of self-importance that only show how ignorant you are of the subject.

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>>6695855
>>6697913
>>6697913
>>6698209
Alright, with a real quick-n-dirty edit I changed the cleric from a shemale to a regular woman with a magic strap-on. Overall feeling is the same, but I'm already liking it more. If the changes screw with the flow of my writing, let me know!

Also, I'm open to suggestions for the next entry, if anyone wants to brainstorm.

>>6700040
vegeta is to fucking arrogant to let anyone fuck his ass. seriously.

>>6699914
>>6699917

Now you've resorted to the most petty of retorts. This is clearly going to go no further. Sorry for attempting to have a rational dialogue with you with actual facts to back up my assertions. Before you call others ignorant, try proving yourself knowledgable in the first place.

>>6699316
>You know, since this is a place for requests...

Where the fuck did you get that idea from? But seriously, while that sounds like a pretty hot story, this place seems to be less about idea making and now just full retarded ass arguments, unfilled/ignored requests and authors putting up good stories that no one requested.

>>6700072

Welcome to /wst/, enjoy your stay

Sorry to break it to you, but this is always the way things have been. Why? Because people request way faster than the pool of authors can actually fill them. And sometimes the authors aren't going to be wooed by any requests, and instead prefer to work on their own things. This is why we created the requests document so that all the unfilled requests can be saved for the future in case some writer or artist stumbles along and likes the idea and runs with it.

>>6700079
It was like that even on /tg/. Just hold on and don't be disappointed if it takes time for a request to be taken. Worst case, you now have a reason to begin writing yourself.

We really could go without the stupid arguments though. If you want to discuss something, why not share some tips on how to write specific scenes/sex acts or the like?

>>6700063
*yawn*

Oh, look, more ad hominems. Congratulations, Mr. Factual. Try getting your head out of your ass before posting.

>>6700095
>>6700063

Both of you, discuss smut or fuck off. Why is this so hard for you to understand?

>>6699387
I disagree. Your third-person writing is as good as your first-person work. You get the typical drow mindset down quite well (and a clever application of how drow equipment fares poorly outside of the Underdark at that), and the smut...well, it's the first sex scene with multiple men on one woman that I've really found myself enjoying. The contrast between the three men helped with that a lot, I think.


Been a while since we had something with drow, and your work scratches my itch there quite nicely.

>>6700079
Unfortunately, sometimes requests get filled and no one cares by the time it's filled

>>6700044
I thought the joke was that Vageta turns into a sub when it's just him and his girl

>>6699316
Y'know what? I'll take this. Never taken a request before, but this hits the right notes for me in that it's 1. bisexual(ish) and 2. not depressing. Now I can not, in good faith, give an honest time estimate because my schedule is weird and I'll have to think on the story for a while, but I'll definitely do it before my next Conbert & the Cleric chapter.

Is there anything specific you want? Fantasy, sci-fi, modern? I was thinking a workaholic woman who takes an experimental youth serum that goes awry.

>Or maybe even better, it's an accident for a Christmas Cake virgin, thought they'd be better off getting a man with a little magical help... only to turn into this luscious piece of boipussy.
I gotta say, I need some clarification what you mean here. What's a Christmas Cake virgin?

>>6700212
Not the OR, but it's a slang term similar to "MILF" with the implication that she's never had sex.

>>6700297
Ah! Thank you, that could actually work with my "married to her job and looking for change" idea.

>>6700297
>"MILF" with the implication that she's never had sex.
>Mother I would like to fuck
>Virgin

What?

>>6700341
He said "similar to", as it occupying a similar age bracket. He probably could have put it better, but you know what he meant.

>>6696630
Ask and you shall receive. I gave it a read and have a couple minor suggestions. Firstly, I found it rather hard to tell what size Nikki was at any point in this story. You described form well, but not size. Second, the last paragraph of the smut scene is a bit unclear or otherwise awkward. I had to read it over a few times to be sure that I knew what was going on.

Other than that, I rather enjoyed the story. I would like to have seen more smut at the end of the transformation, however. I feel that you wasted an excellent opportunity to describe sex from the point of view of a penis with limbs. I realize that the focus of the story is transformation, but there's a lot of people out there (myself included) who are just as interested in the aftermath of the transformation as the act itself.

Also, are these characters going to be part of a series? I think I would rather like to read a story about a magical dickgirl and girl dick exploring ruins with their collective husband. It sounds like fun.

>>6700212
Dealer's choice, I think. Whatever you want to do. I'm just happy seeing my weird awkward fetish thing being done.

>>6700340
>>6700212
>>6700734

That works out wonderfully. Married to her job... looking for a change... experimental youth serum going awry. Everything I'm looking for.

Only caveat is that they'd have to still be 18+ and should be rather girly looking. Probably even girlier then they were when they were 18, just... you know. A guy now. And still very attracted and interested in men. Just my thoughts on the matter

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>>6700734
So anything, so long as she turns into a huge slut twink/trap? Ha, I can work with that.

>>6700751
Yessir!

I've been reading the "Magical Realm" threads on /tg/ all day for the past few days and it's got me motivated to start writing smut. Is there any advice someone could give for a first-timer specifically on things I might want to avoid (besides futa due to oversaturation)?

>>6700859
use paragraphs so you don't have a single wall of text

>>6700861
Well, that's just basic writing you learn in school. I'm just more worried about my vocabulary and actually arousing the reader rather than bore them.

>>6700870
Well, there are certain words that you really don't want to use unless you you wrote the character to be like that. For instance "cunny" is a word /wst/ found out is something to be avoided.

>>6700870
Before you start to write, mull your idea over and get a clear idea of what exactly you want to obtain. It shouldn't be set in stone, but you need a vision of what story you want.

While you're writing, focus on finishing a draft first. Again, it doesn't need to be set in stone, but anyone reading it at that point should be able to follow the story.

Only once you're there, and your story exists from begin to end in a rough form do you start editing. A couple of pointers there:
- It's über-cliché; but "show, don't tell!"
- Avoid runaway sentences. Purple prose ask for a lot of description but paragraph-length single sentences full of colons, "but", "and" are a mess to read.
- If the PoV switches, start a new paragraph. You also might want to stick to a single character's PoV the first time to make it easier for both you and the reader.
- Watch out for word repetition. Synonyms are your best friends.
- A personal one, YMMV, but I find the use of vulgar words to be counter-productive. Use them sparingly.
- Resist the urge to add a lot more material to your story and expand it. You can always write a second chapter later or re-use the brilliant idea you just had for another story.
- By the same token, resist the urge to overedit. There will be moments where you feel that everything you wrote is terrible. That's the moment to ask someone to give it an outside look and check for problems.

And always keep in mind that yes, editing is boring, time-consuming and a royal pain in the behind, but it needs to be done.

>>6700859
>www.fanfiction.net/s/9661958/1/The-Ultimate-Guide-to-Writing-Smut-Fic
I found this a couple weeks ago, it's not perfect but it has some tips that I found useful.

>>6700859
What we're you thinking of writing about out of curiosity?

>>6701023
I always found that vulgarity is rather hit-or-miss, depending on the scene. The language should match the events. If you're writing something vulgar, particularly if there are any humiliation/public use/etc. themes, vulgarity is required to complete the tone. If you're writing something strictly vanilla, vulgarity rankles.

It may not have any smut in it, but Electric Awakening Part 2 is ready to go. I promise I'll make it up to you guys in the final part, but until then have fun with this one.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1O-MKTl3BW-QvTBLiQbNCr0Aw_KxNHPcRmK2mthekbwE/edit?usp=sharing

Tags: plot-heavy, no smut

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I'm thinking about writing up a Hucow piece, I have the general Idea of how the transformation will go ( lactation drug w/ severe side-effects known beforehand) I'm wondering if I should go with a more willing subject, or something a little darker and more forced. It wouldn't be too hard to do either, but I can't decide which would be more interesting.

Since people seemed to like the last one, here's my next writing advice article, this time on characterization:

http://soylentorange.tumblr.com/post/140111679695/soys-writing-corner-2-always-in-character

>>6701881
Either one works fine.

>>6701881
Make it willing, Anon. Sex should be happy.

>>6701881
>>6701981
Great milk comes from happy cows, anon.

>>6700212
So why is the uh... idea, not depressing?

I'm just curious is all.

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>>6700130
>>6699704

Thank you both very much for the feedback, it's good to know it found an audience.

My prose can be pretty dense and purple at times. I feel it's less of an issue when I write first-person, since it's easier to break up the text with the character's internal thoughts, but it does tend to drag when I switch to third. Something to keep in mind next time I write from that perspective.

I'm glad that the three male characters felt distinct enough to make the group scene work, since one of my major bugbears with F/MM+ scenes is how the guys can just dissolve into a homogeneous wall of dicks. Sometimes that's appropriate, and I've gone down that route before, but a lot of the time it isn't. I was worried that Henk felt a little superfluous - when writing it felt a bit like he was bolted on just for the sake of having another guy in there, but perhaps it worked better than I feared. Either way, thank you again.

>>6702152

Some people are the third wheel, Henk ended up the third penis. So long as the other two buy the drinks, it's a fair game.

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This may be the best place for now to get some opinions on this, so here goes. I'm currently making a "choose your own adventure/roll" type picture thing inspired by pic related with demon girls. The one I'm making is more focused on /d/-tier fetishes and less about careers and such, and I wanted to get some opinions on the demons, fetishes, etc. Ideas and suggestions are appreciated. (The current number of demons is planned to be the max.) You can ignore the "key" section, what's more important is the list of demons and the two I have finished.
pastebin.com/gti7NGMQ

>>6702172
Not sure how much help we can be here. Most of us prefer finished plots and full fics, not CYOAs. What you've got there looks decent enough though, I guess.

>>6702181
Alright, thanks anyhow. I didn't want to make a thread for just getting opinions on a small WIP project, and didn't see any CYOA type threads around on /d/, so I just thought asking here would be my best bet.

>>6702209
Think of it this way- you won't have competition.

>>6695838
Shit, the one on the left looks a lot like my pawn from DDDA.

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IDK if this is the best spot for it, but I'm re-posting this from /tg/

In two weeks I'm supposed to run an erotic heavy game for 2 guys, and 3 girls. It is high fantasy, and supposed to have a --heavy focus on bestiality-- They also want some non-consensual themes as well.

I need help with ideas for encounters, plot elements, and world building. Everything I have so far is very open and subject to change, so any ideas help.

They are playing as;
-Male minotaur barbarian, last survivor of his village, seeking vengeance (least experienced player)
-Male half-orc sword-mage, grew up civilized in a city with human mother
-Female human archer with canine companion, occasionally a mercenary "inspired by Quiet from MGS-5"
-Female high-elf wizard/enchanter, tired of her life in academics is seeking adventure
-Female undecided, leaning toward cleric or "agile paladin" (whatever that mean). She's also not sure what race she wants to play but has the most interest in drow. she also said she wants to be the "servant or vassal of a mind flayer", but I'm not sure if that could work with her being a cleric or sort of paladin. She said she is "open to suggestions"

>>6702271
Pretty much sounds like they want CoC.

What edition are you using? Anyway, make her a whatever of Ilsensine.

>>6702271
What kind of tone were you looking for? This can go a lot of ways. Should it be gritty? Depressing? Humorous? It's important to get that settled first, as it changes virtually everything

>>6701881
make it willing,

I would suggest she is a little naive. Her friend is also taking the drug to get bigger tits, and peer pressures her to try it. Half way through the transformation, she gets a little scared about losing herself. She's also nervous about submitting to the will of the [devious doctor] or [studly farm-hand] who she's been going to for milking.

Someone important to her, like a [older sister] or [single mother] or [peer pressuring girlfriend] has also been acting strange lately. She has a clandestine meeting with them, where they reveal they are entering the finals stages of the transformation. They give her the positive encouragement she needs, and she decides she wants to continue past the point of no return, leaving her pure humanity behind., and delights in her new position as a cow.

Not trying to write it for you, just giving some ideas. Hope you complete it!

>>6702283
I didn't know mind flayers HAD a god. thanks for the tip. I could say her illithid master gave her some sunscreen and a amulet of recording, and said "Go explore up-world and gather knowledge on surface creatures sexuality. Make sure you're thorough!"

I have never played CoC, I only know of it from hentai.

>>6702291
The tone is probably going to be focused on moral and social drama, with healthy breaks of comedic relief. Does that narrow it don enough?

>>6702172
I don't think that many of us have experience writing CYOAs, but if you have any prose you would like someone to look over before you use it, I'm sure that at some of us would be willing to look at it for you. At the very least, it would probably be best to wait until you actually have the story in progress and then ask for help with direction or even just smut.

>>6702315
If you're looking for moral and social drama with underpinning of dubcon, sexual slavery is the obvious route. That being said, you might be better off going the Rome++ route and featuring something like gladiatorial sex. You can have a culturally ingrained and legally supported "competitive sex" scene where volunteers and slaves alike take on each other and often wild/mythological beasts and attempt to rape them into submission.

It fills your fetish requirements and also gives a lot of opportunities for the players to interact with the world and gives you plenty of different ways to rope them in. For example, they could be captured as slaves and sold into the arena, or perhaps just be volunteers looking to make a quick buck. They could also be employees, searching distant lands for new monsters to sodomize or people to enslave. Alternately, they could choose to fight against the unjust system and end up either overthrowing the establishment or as slaves in the very arena they sought to close.

As far as encounters go, it depends entirely on how far their beastiality fetish goes. I'm assuming that dragons are fine (what neckbeard doesn't want to fuck a dragon?), but what about some of the more abstract monsters like the more bizarre aberrations?

>>6701405
I've actually started on a story right now, and I'm trying to get past my sense of right and wrong since this is kind of a new thing for me. Since I was looking at /tg/ stuff, I figured I'd do something in a fantasy setting with a group that finds a cursed artifact that ends up possessing one of the characters, among other things. Kind of cliche, but that just means I can ease my way into it and figure out how I can write this kind of thing.

hello, not completely vanished, just mostly vanished. I've been drawing more consistently again but im not really producing much worth sharing. stuff i was working on before didn't really pan out.

only got one "finished" thing to show, and it's just more skaven ratman on woman thing, so nothing exciting.

http://i.imgur.com/ghocqP1.png

>>6699387

also, this is nice writing again, dlfg. i like how you spend a good amount of time establishing the setup, and the details you give are enough to describe without being overly distracting.

>>6702818
Y'know, I've always envied anyone who has the patience for proper hatching.

>>6702549
That sounds good, I'll read that whenever it's out.

fellow /efg/'ers I came across something that might interest you: StyleWriter

http://kickasstorrentsso.com/stylewriter-4-02-02-inc-keygen-keymaker-rocky-45-cpul-t11729274.html#main

This is a small add-on for MS Word that analyses your text and gives you hints how you could improve it.

Take the advice with a grain of salt, it's still a program and not a genuine proofreader/editor, but I found it helpful to improve readability.

>>6699387
>http://pastebin.com/cv8dwcxk

You're too hard on yourself- it's good work. I would have skipped the "walking down the street nude" segment from a realism perspective (protagonist was trying to evade capture, someone might have followed them) but it was otherwise very good.

>>6702271

Thoughts:

-Check out the Book of Erotic Fantasy for 3.5e stuff. It intentionally doesn't cover non-con, but it introduces gods themed around sex stuff, and has a reasonable list of suggestions for sexual uses of existing magics. Book of Vile Darkness has some sections that might be useful re depravity.

As far as encounters go...

-Steal encounters from Monstergirlquest
-An X-rated version of the hugwolf from Adventuretime

-An acolyte of the Xammux (BoVD) captures the minotaur and attempts to cross-breed him with cattle a la Gulliver's Travels

-The local Orc Heritage League approach the half-orc with an offer to "reconnect with the old ways"

-Give the party a plucky dog mascot who is secretly an ancient and perverted druid who repeatedly leads them into bestiality-based traps.

>>6702818
It's good to see you're still around, your stuff is one of the main reasons I haunt these threads. You're definitely improving as well, though the girl's face looks a little lopsided to my eye. Incidentally, when did you do http://i.imgur.com/WYQmo22.jpg? I don't remember having seen you post it before and the thumbnail in your imgur gallery doesn't show up.

Glad you enjoyed the story as well.

>>6703460
You're right, the exhibitionism section does feel a little strange. The original concept was for that to be the main hook of the story, but as the idea evolved my interest shifted to the group scene at the end. Perhaps I should have cut that bit and reworked it into its own fic, but I was reluctant to completely abandon the original concept.

>>6700419
Agh, I already submitted it by the time I noticed this post. Good advice to keep in mind, though. Thanks!

I have ideas for where else I could go with these characters, but no solid plot as yet. I'm thinking I might dig into why merging magic was invented and what it was actually supposed to do, with more of a heroes vs. villains plot. (Bad guys might not be as scrupulous with whose soul and magical power they take inside themselves . . .)

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Requesting a fic or picture of an Xcom2 Viper being fucked/impregnated by her Advent partner.

>>6703891
Funny you should mention that, I think we had one like that written before the game even came out.

http://pastebin.com/4t11FH8i
Tags: XCOM 2, female Viper x male ADVENT human, femdom, dubcon

The same author wrote several other XCOM-themed fics too if you want to look at those.

>>6703908
>http://pastebin.com/4t11FH8i
I remember one in the shower and throat fucking

>>6696644
Still looking for anyone else to provide criticism on this little work of mine.

Otherwise, I'm willing to take requests involving monstergirls/boys if anyone wants 'em. All I ask is that you keep fetishes on the tame-r side of things, ie, no bathroom play or expansion or anything like that.

>>6703593

>Kill your darlings.

>>6703958
I'm no critic, sorry, but I have this idea if you're open to light transformation and yuri.

A thief girl breaks into a sorceress' tower, where she breaks her back in a fall. The sorceress tries to help her with magical surgery, but has to make do with a [cat|wolf|fox] spine graft. She puts the thief in a guest room and cares for her while she recovers.

At first the thief resists and plans to escape. Later she is terrified to find the animal's tail, ears and fangs starting to grow on her. But the sorceress persists with her TLC and the thief slowly warms to her.

When the thief is just about recovered, guardsmen come to question the sorceress, as the thief was seen passing through this area earlier (the night she broke in). The questioning grows more probing and aggressive each time the sorceress denies it. When she can finally convince them to leave, the thief hugs her and cries with relief.

The two of them have a wild night in the sorceress' bed. The thief will stay with the sorceress as her assistant and beloved pet.

>>6703593

that one was a request but it may have been put in during a thread's last few posts.

also, your feedback has always been encouraging to me. i saw your stuff before i started posting in wst and thought it was great and that you were a pretty cool person, so having you be a fan of my stuff is awesome. I'll keep trying to improve.

i put out another piece, just more rat and elf stuff. it really stinks when you notice flaws after you're past the point of no return.

wood elf x multiple skaven http://i.imgur.com/mlc3nQ2.png

>>6704337
Eh, don't worry, practice makes perfect and all that. Just focus on correcting the flaws you saw in the future.

>>6704309
Sounds like a plan! I'm a sucker for class archetypes, and the way you put it, I love the concept. I'll get working on it right away!

>>6704377
Thanks! One detail I forgot: the thief's ears and tail continue to grow until she's recovered.

What's a non-vulgar way of saying "butthole"?

>>6705199
Good fucking luck with that.

>>6705199
Anus.

>>6705199
Backdoor.
Pucker.
Ejection port.
BIPFT.
Chocolate starfish.
Rumper Bum.

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Mind if I offer a suggestion? (pic related, Hilda from Pokemon Black/White)

I'd like to read a story about this chick transforming into the balloon doll you see right here.

Maybe Hilda got booby-trapped by Team Plasma? Perhaps she was placed under a curse by a Ghost-type Pokemon? Whatever works is fine

>>6705199
rear-end

Does anyone have any tips for how to refer to multiple characters of the same gender in a scene? People seem to dislike using descriptors for them, and using pronouns gets confusing quickly.

>>6705481
How funny you should bring that up, I'm having the same problem. I'm working on the transformation story for >>6699316 and I can't tell if it sounds better for the trap protagonist to refer to themselves as a guy or a girl.

Girl would make things easier for me in the sex scenes, but that kinda defeats the entire point of the transformation, dunnit? Plus, anything along the lines of "She took her phallus..." would sound like a shemale, which has its own problems.

>>6705510
That's a tough one. I've never written or read any transformation stuff, so I'm not really sure if I can give any good advice.

I want to say that it probably depends on how she thinks of herself. Does she still think of herself as a woman despite being a trap now? Maybe she starts off thinking of herself as female, but thinks of herself as male more often the more used to her new body she gets, with the narration reflecting that as well? I don't know how in-depth you or the requester want it to go into the mental aspects of it, but I know some people into the whole gender-bender thing really enjoy that part of it.

Take that with a grain of salt, because it's not my fetish, and I've only talked to a few people about it before out of curiosity.

>>6705481
Use nominative phrases in place of pronouns to avoid repeating names. Try referring to people by their occupation or description like "her secretary" or "the busty redhead".

>>6705510
Make the use of pronouns a central point. Consider starting with feminine ones and switch to masculine later on. Give it a shot and see how it comes out.

>>6705546
>Try referring to people by their occupation or description like "her secretary" or "the busty redhead".
I thought people didn't like that? I've seen people before get shit for doing that.

>>6705552
I've never seen it and I've suggested it on here before. I've also used it in every same-sex scene I've written. If you don't find other ways to refer to characters, you're going to run into all kinds of problems. If there's another solution, I'm willing to hear it, but this is, to my knowledge, the best.

How long does it usually take people here to write these kinds of stories? Still working on my first one and it's taken me a few days only to write two pages since I'm constantly making myself feel uncomfortable (in the pants) while writing.

>>6705598
if you want to reduce the slowdowns from
>making myself feel uncomfortable (in the pants) while writing.
, i have a technique for when I write this sort of thing:
first, get the idea in your head, fix it there
second, edge for an extended period of time with the scenario in your head
third, drink extensively while you edge and work the scenerio over in yo head.
by the time it's time to write, you should be in that special place where you're so drunk that your dick don't work, but your senses aren't completely blasted yet. this is the time to write like MAD. once you've written a bunch, go to sleep. the next day, edit

anyhow, that's how I do things, YMMV

>>6705598
I try to average about a page an hour, but that's not a particularly meaningful average. Early in a story, it takes significantly longer if I can't seem to find the right tone. By the time I get to the smut, I can generally hit 3-4 pages an hour. Then again, I've been doing this for a while.

I suggest not wearing pants, to be honest, assuming you're complaining about literal tightness and not uncomfortable arousal. If it's just the arousal, I find that it makes it easier to work faster. A combination of alcohol and arousal means that whatever boner says, I write. It takes a bit more cleanup (editing, not literal cleaning) this way, but the smut flows much more quickly.

>>6705626
I sometimes get the feeling that not a single story written by this thread has ever been written while totally sober. I've never written drunk (I've never been drunk), but I don't think I've ever written without a drink in my hand.

>>6705558
Alright then. I've never posted in these threads before, so most of the advice I've gotten has been "secondhand" from people in other writing communities. I suppose it's possible they were just being pretentious or something.

>>6705679
A lot of the "rules" of writing are incredibly subjective. Perhaps to some communities, such language rankles. It's also possible that these people have only ever read stories where this is done improperly and have been turned off to the style as a whole due to bad experiences. I think that you're not going to encounter too many people who are put off by it, though.

>>6705689
That makes me feel better about it. Thanks.

>>6705644
A tiny bit of alcohol, just enough to remove the more stuck-up inhibitions, really help.

It often makes editing harder, but at least there's a smut to edit rather than a blank page at the end of the day.

>>6705510
Make sure it is clear whose PoV the action follows at the start of a paragraph, and don't switch. It really helps following who is doing what exactly.

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I'm requesting a happy story with this lovely bunnygirl. It can be anything, like sex with a big, strong barbarian or consensual tentacles, so long as it involves her being penetrated by a large cock (or multiple tentacles) and excessive amounts of cum filling her holes, inflating her belly. If tentacles, feel free to fill her with eggs as well. She'll love it. Happy ending is mandetory.

Hello!

Could one of you write something up using this as a prompt?

>>6706055

>>6705697

You can discard basically any "rule" of writing (Look at the shit e.e. cummings puled) with the rather huge caveat that you're good enough to pull it off. Until you reach that point, they're handy guidelines.

>>6707097
>Until you reach that point, they're handy guidelines.
If you ever reach that point, you mean.

>>6705199
cinnamon star

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Requesting something about a lonely but otherwise normal dragon kidnapping a qt for companionship, and eventually realizing he's in love with him.

>>6708227
Read Lythra's Surprise. While not gay, it's very sensual

>>6705679
The usual advice is to use the character's name, even if it comes up multiple times in one paragraph. (For instance, this is what the Turkey City Lexicon recommends against "burly detective syndrome.")

>>6696630
This one's up on Literotica now: https://www.literotica.com/s/experimenting-with-friends

I'll make the doc private again, so change your links if you want to bookmark this.

>>6707124

>If
Quitter.

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Are there any warhammer fics featuring either a Chaos Warrior or Chaos Space Marine claiming one woman or a full harem as trophies?

http://pastebin.com/YCGzsVX1

Hey, I wrote this thing and this is the only place I can post it. Rather, the only place I'm interested in posting it. Feedback and criticism would be welcome, and I'm not sure if this is a once off or an ongoing thing.

Tags: Monstergirl, futa on female, succubus/vampire?, sleep-rape, fantasy

>>6708813
not on this site, I don't believe, but that would be interesting. Preferably, he'd target and inquisitor and her retinue of Sisters of Battle as trophies.

>>6695820
Is it acceptable to self-promote yourself in this thread? Such as linking tumblr profiles, HF profiles, etc.?

>>6709074
If you've got stuff to post that's relevant to the thread, I don't see why not. Especially if you take a few requests now and then. Or even just post new stuff you do directly here as well as to your various accounts.

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>>6709085
Yeah, it's nothing but my writings. I mostly have my stuff on HF and Darknest, but have recently been going through the process of putting my stuff up on tumblr too. I've been trying to broaden my horizons, so to speak, and reach more people with my shitty fapfics.

The reason I ask is because I have about 40~ stories and most of them have varying themes and content so it would just be easier for me to link my profile's library of content.

I've been thinking about taking on art trades, requests, and commissions lately so that's also a part of trying of why I'm trying to socialize more in the smut writing underworld.

Plus constructive criticism is always nice.

>>6709094
Then link away.

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>>6709096
Thanks for being receptive!

Here's my HF profile: http://www.hentai-foundry.com/stories/user/TehMord
And my tumblr: http://tehmord.tumblr.com/

Not all of my stories are up on tumblr yet, I'm working on that. Constructive criticism and error/spelling correction help is greatly appreciated.

>>6709106
I've never really gotten into Tumblr, is there any way to view the tags for the stories? Do they even have tags?

>>6709648
I'm not too big into tumblr myself. I was just looking for another place to put my stories to reach wider audiences. There are tags but they are at the bottom of posts so you have to scroll all the way down instead of looking up top or at a short description. The tags there seem to be more for filter purposes than a heads up.

>>6709925
tumblr is really shit for searching for certain things

>>6709925
Technically, you can edit your theme to put the tags anywhere you want.

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>>6709929
That's true, but I couldn't find a theme I liked for free, and I don't know how to edit HTML, so I just went with the default one for now.

>>6708820
Any one? I'm not used to writing futa, and it isn't my main thing, so I'd like some feedback before considering doing more.

>>6710015
Chill. /d/ is slow and a lot of people only come here in the evening and on weekends. I'll read it tonight when I have the time.

>>6710015
Futa isn't really popular among /wst/ people and most of /d/ doesn't care about reading.

>>6710022
>I'll read it tonight when I have the time.
Appreciated. Sorry, didn't realize how slow the place was.
>>6710024
>Not popular
Oh. Well, wrong audience I guess. My bad.

>>6710032
Nah. It's plenty popular. It's just less popular than you'd expect for a thread on /d/.

>>6710035
That's because this is originally a /tg/ thread and most of the people here are still fa/tg/uys and we haven't changed what we like and hate just because we're on /d/.

>>6710043
Yes. I know. I just cba to type all that. /tg/ is /d/-lite, after all, so it's not like futa is haram or anything.

>>6710043
>>6710061
So I assume bloodshed is okay?

>>6710061
Most blue boards are better at being /d/ than /d/ is. /d/ isn't very creative or imaginative when it comes to fetishes. It just regurgitates the same things endlessly while the blue boards come up with new/weirder fetishes. /d/ just wallows in dickgirl shit and even more so now since the /aco/ split. 90% of the threads on /d/ are just dickgirl threads.
>>6710064
The thing that puts most of us off is bad ends. We like all kinds of weird shit has long as it's all lovey dovey and what not. We even have a story of a human guy being a cute couple with a giant talking spider.

>>6710064
Bloodshed is fine, but very few find it sexy. Bloodplay is usually only included with vampires, and there it's still minor.

>>6710066
>>6710067
I meant it more in the context of adventuring/hunting than in the sexy times. So essentially anything goes, except for the real obvious shit like furry?

>>6710071
Furry is good too. /wst/ has written a lot that can be considered furry. We got werewolf stories, fantasy/scifi stories, dragons of all flavors, gnolls, ratkin, lizardkin, etc. There is a lot of /tg/ material that falls under furry.

>>6710071
Since this was a /tg/ thread, even specific furry/scaly things are alright as text, e.g. monstrous races and monsters. Monstergirls are fine too.

>>6710075
>>6710076
Cool, cool. Thanks for the info. I guess I'll post some stuff here when I have itches that need scratching, if you guys are willing.

>>6710066
I like bad ends (when they're not happening to me, anyway).

>>6710078
We're always up for OC.

>>6710071
Furry is kosher as long as it remains about smut. Few here dont enjoy a good werewolf story about a bestial half-man half-wolf wildly mating and knotting a woman. Just make sure you keep the underlying real word activism out of it.

>>6710015
I was planning on getting around to it soon. I've just been rather busy. Expect a fairly lengthy response in about a day or so.

>>6710156
I think that a lot of it comes down to portrayal, too. Dragons, gnolls, and proper werewolves are common, but there's a rather large distinction between what we produce and what is commonly referred to as furry. At least the way I see it, furry is a cop-out. They have entirely humanoid bodies, spare hair, paws, and snouts. I don't think I remember us having anything along those lines. What we have is probably closer to bestiality than furry.

>>6710086
I know this is /d/ and pretty much anything goes, but I gotta ask:

Why do you like bad ends? That has to be just about the furthest away from sexy you can get in my mind.

>>6711159
I'm not that anon so I don't know if they mean liking bad ends in a sexual way or just enjoy the drama of a tragic ending. But some people get off on the degradation and misfortune of others, or like to self-insert themselves or feel empathic horror/sadness with the one(s) being destroyed.

I met a guy once who literally had a genocide fetish. Like exactly like it sounds. He wanted stories of entire races being systematically destroyed in some way.

>>6708820
First of all, the futa part was fine, you have nothing to worry about with that. There were, however, a few fundamental problems that I would like to address. First of all, you need to be careful of repeated structures. Almost every sentence describes an action, with almost nothing left to cover other details. The end result is that your prose comes off as a bit repetitive and you lose a lot of the detail that makes smut sexy. Focus less on who's doing what to whom and more on the senses. It's a small change, but it makes all the difference in smut. Also, you may wish to move your description of the girl's face to a point earlier in the story or change the way you go about describing it. It doesn't make sense for the sex demon to complete miss key details about a person's appearance. Consider either moving it up or changing the context of the description.

More importantly, your grammar is terrible. You need proofread more carefully, but that will only catch a fraction of the problems. The sheer number of comma splices or otherwise misplaced pieces of punctuation seriously detracted from the quality of the smut. Read what you write aloud, it really helps to catch these kinds of errors. You are probably also going to have to sit down and re-learn the appropriate use of commas.

I think you have a pretty good premise for continued stories, though you should really focus on character building if you do so. No matter what you do, however, you should seriously consider what I've said. With a bit of cleanup and a few tweaks of language and narrative style, I think that this (and any subsequent stories) could improve greatly.

>>6711348
Wow, that's a lot to consider. Thanks a lot for the criticism, anon. It's much appreciated. I'll go over it a few times and work on it. I do get very lazy with proofreading, and I haven't' been doing it at all lately so thank you for calling it to my attention.

>>6711369
No problem at all. It benefits all of us to help our writers improve, particularly when a small change can make a great deal of difference. Fix up the grammar and work on your structure and descriptions a bit and you'll see a huge improvement.

>>6697109

I actually tried writing this when you first posted it some weeks ago but I'm absolutely horrible at writing sex.

>>6697109
Somehow or another, despite watching this thread every day, I missed this post until the guy above me linked to it. This becomes a problem because I'm the writer who first responded to your request.

Yes, it is getting done. I expect to have it finished this weekend. It would have been done already, had I not come up with an idea that I had to put to paper before I lost it. Sorry for the delay.

>>6711388
Is there anything else asides from my repetitive structures and misuse of commas that I should focus on?

>>6711432
Like I said, focusing on the appropriate details helps a lot. Sex isn't very sexy if all it is is thrusting. When you write smut, all of the detail has to be provided by the writer. Pictures can convey a lot of difference pieces of information, but written word can describe only what you choose to describe. Focus on the senses, describing the sights, sounds, feelings, and even smell in detail.

Try reading more erotica and keeping note of what you find arousing, then try to replicate that. You'll see what I mean. It's a bit hard to describe in text like this.

>>6711455
No, I kind of get what you're saying. I think the problem is, I thought a lot of this up on the train when it hit me, and wrote the flow down, so when I sat down to write, I did it a lot like filling out bullet points, and neglected the flesh like the five senses. I'm going over it now, thankfully it's not so long yet, I'll be able to repost this edited and another 'chapter' hopefully soonish.

>>6701881
what ever happened to this?

I used to do roleplays like this with this girl from Canada, it was the best time of my life, and i lovedher, i mean REALLY loved her. It was the best feeling in the world. We talked every day, untill she died a month ago. Every night i think about her and ask myself what if.

>>6711528
The same thing that happens all too frequently, I fear- he washed out and realized writing wasn't for him.

>>6711549
Sorry about your lady friend, but I think you have the wrong thread and the wrong board.
>>>/soc/

>>6711573
Eh the subject just reminded me of our chats is all

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>Have been wanting to try writing something for years
>Every time I get moderately aroused can't resist fapping
>Moment I cum all inspiration leaves me

>>6711602
eat aphrodisiac food, type through cum soaked keyboard for long enough, or alternatively dont touch yourself.

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>>6711613
>alternatively don't touch yourself.

>>6711602
Write boner killer porn.
Bonus points if it's for furries so you can make some money as well.

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It's been a tiring day.

>>6711815
Nice !
Has been a while, Inker. Getting used to your tablet ?

>>6711824
Yeah. I just keep getting into situations where I never have an optimal setup/seating position/lair for me to just draw eldar butts all day this year.

So when did this thread get renamed to /efg/ again?

>>6711830
Something like a month ago ? It hasn't changed much, anyway.

samefag writefag here
>>6709106

I've opened up commissions but I'm waiting for someone to contact me.

In the interim, I'm willing to accept requests. I'd prefer the requests not be too specific and pertain to already established franchises. I do fanfiction, but there is a whole lot I'm knowledgeable about so for a request I'd prefer something I can work with right away rather than having to educate myself on the subject material.

Anyone have any stories they'd like to see?

>>6711918
>but there is a whole lot I'm not knowledgeable about

Fuck me, my mistake.

>>6711830
So are you taking requests?

>>6698498
His girlfriend cheated on him recently, so he developed a fetish for cuckoldry.

>>6701747
>erotic fiction general
>no smut
Sounds about right

>>6711958
If it makes you feel any better, the next one in the series will compensate for that, and the thing I'm working on now will have all the buttsex you can handle.

>>6711998
>all the buttsex you can handle
Not the one you're responding to, but I'm sold.

>>6696801
My favorite variation is having an all-purpose backdoor entrance, not unlike a cloaca. A short distance into the rectum would be an internal "fork in the road" sort of branch, leading to a vaginal canal.

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>>6711843
Ah, ok.

>>6711929
Not atm, sorry.

>>6712856
Alright then. I was going to ask you to draw something, but I've got time.

>>6706429
Seconding this one

>>6712856
>dick bent
Do you know how much that hurts?

>>6696801
>bifurification
Common in developmental abnormalities. I don't see why it's a problem here.


>Moreover, there is no support for the penis, meaning that sustaining an erection is not only incredibly difficult, but risky. The point of attachment would be anterior to the vaginal canal, so it would be prone to flopping constantly.
Nigga what? The suspensory ligament of the penis is at the top of the penis and attaches to the symphysis pubis. A vagina isn't going to get in the way of that.

>>6711159
Anon you *were* replying to, and I'm not entirely sure, now that I think about it.

I suppose it might be because of the idea of (say) a superheroine or whatever, something of that calibre, slipping up and then being at the mercy of the legions of mooks that usually mean nothing at all to them.

Or just the untapped potential of what could happen because they lose. That opens up a whole new direction that things can go in.

One thing that definitely applies to me though, is that I don't like it when snuff starts to be involved. Then it feels as though that whole new direction just gets the door slammed on it.

Hope that made sense.

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Hello /efg/. IRL has kept me far too busy with trouble those last weeks, but I finally managed to get something written. Back to my favorite monsterboy for a quickie.

The Hostage
http://pastebin.com/fjLrXgpC
(M naga x F human, monster-boy, maledom, hemipenes, double penetration.)

Enjoy!

Got a quick question- is there any major difference in writing orgasms caused by anal sex compared to that from vaginal? For the woman, I mean.

>>6713922
Good to see you're still around.

I liked it, more snake anything is always welcome in my book. There was something about the opening bit that seemed to be throwing me off. Maybe it was the opening bit contrasting how fast she was coming on to him?

I once read this fic, but I have no idea what it's called.

This girl was tricked/coerced/wound up somehow taking care of the devil's house in hell. She had the run of the place, though, and things went weird. I don't think it was particularly erotic, but I'm just searching everywhere at this point, so my apologies if this is too far out of line.

She is alone for a while, I think, and then the devil's son comes home with a pair of friends. They're afraid of her and can't fuck with her unless she lets them.
She eventually forgets her old name and basically holds down the fort when it was expected she'd lose her way, instead. She sticks with the name she figured out for herself in order to not tell her real name - which she forgot - which is "House", so everyone just calls her that after a certain point. It's done diary-style.
Anyone remember, have seen, any thoughts?

I've been looking all over for this...

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>>6713922
Damn.
I liked this alot.
Not only did it give me what I was expecting going in, now I actually want to hear more about the world you had built around it.
You treated the sex scene as just a scene and not the whole piece without skimping on anything or making the climax being the end as well.

Bravo.

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>>6713707
Slaanesh's gifts be cray yo.

Real answer, I realised that the original way I drew it doesn't make sense, so I decided "fuck it, prehensile dick because warp fuckery"

Also I got time now, any requests?

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>>6715164
The pilot of a wrecked repentant engine, still tied and blindfolded, getting assaulted by tentacles/dicks ?

>>6715164
any kind of eldar/space marine m/m?

>>6715198
all elves are women though

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>>6715199
Not true, it can just be hard to tell the difference since their twink rating is off the scale.

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>>6715176
How's this, anon?

>>6715164
For the new IA11 and corsairs army list, something of a corsair lady ? Double teaming a prude sister from the craftworlds with one of her teammates, forcing an inquisitor lady to go down on her, having sex with something exotic, perhaps ?

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>>6715214
Sweet ! Thanks a lot.

>>6715164
>>6715217

What about a Succubus and a Corsair Princess competing to see who can fuck the most bizarre, grotesque creatre?

>>6715236
Throwing in my suggestion for one of them to try and fuck a Slaugth.

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>>6715198
Sorry anon, not into that.

>>6715217
This work?

>>6715268
Crap, the ripper in her hand is barely recognizable.

>>6715268
>Sorry anon, not into that.

Okay. How about a dark eldar wych bent over taking a horse's dick in her ass?

>>6715164
Requesting a voluptuous priestess of Isha overseeing a fertility ritual involving a younger eldar lady and one or sereval dicks, please.

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>>6715261
>>6715236
I tried.

>>6715289
Very nice.

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>>6715274
Got too lazy to draw her clothes in, sorry.

>>6715301
Doesn't matter, fuckan great inker.

>>6715301
Up for one more, maybe?

SoB and psyker in an imperial wedding? SoB in a really sexy wedding dress or something?

>>6715301
Glad to see you back ! It has been a while since we saw stuff of your knight lady, can I request something of her ? Giving a messy titjob, or consensual tentacles action, please ?

>>6715301
You remember that sex face thing you drew for Macha a while back? I'd like to see that, but with your robot girl instead.

>>6715268
>>6715272
It's fine, thank you !

>>6715164
How about a Chaos or Tyranid corrupted Sister of Battle showing off her huge mutated tongue. Lewdly. Other fun mutations optional.

Anyone have any MtF TG requests?

>>6715947
At first, I read "MtG TG requests" and was briefly taken aback that anyone would be asking for such a specific request.

I don't have a request, but there is an idea that I would like to see more of. I remember running across a story on Literotica some time ago that was very promising but never continued after a few years. The gist of it was that men fought in an arena, with the winning man absorbing the masculinity of the one who was losing until there was a winner, with the loser becoming a woman and getting fucked on the spot. I think that the setting and concept have a lot of room to explore and the smut practically writes itself.

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Hello, I live.
I have made a thing.
Please enjoy thing.

To the victor goes the spoils
http://pastebin.com/P3kD1G8H
Male/Female, Female/Werewolf, Fellatio, Cunnilingus, Outdoors, Rough Sex, Vaginal, Knotting, Endowed male, Light bondage

>>6716335
Geez, it's been ages since I last saw you here. You been busy or something?

>>6716335
Why do I feel like the werewolf is going to be named Victor.

>>6716410
Not really, just wasn't able to get anything done for multiple reasons.

>>6716557
It can be whatever you want in this case. I really didn't want to spend ages coming up with names for both of them and left that ambiguous.

Looks like thread reached bump limit. How long before the next one goes up y'all reckon?

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>>6715329
quick doodle

>>6717002
nice

>>6716932
I'd also like to know this. Should I wait to post a story?

>>6716932
Page 10 is the best bet, stops people complaining we are 'swamping' the board.

>>6717139
Post away, this board has been pretty slow lately. It took a few days for the last efg to fall off after bump limit

>>6696644
>>6703958
Alright, I'll have a read. Here we go.

THE BAD AND THE UGLY

First sentence is bizarre. Perhaps a couple of words are missing or something, but it reads very strangely. I wouldn't mention it, but as the first sentence it needs to be good.

Sentence structure.

Just about all instances of 'blonde' should be 'blond'.

Far, far too many ellipses in the dialogue. I see a lot of newer writers do this, and it annihilates any sense of flow. Used sparingly they can be effective, but here they appear almost every single sentence. Also, the next word after an ellipses shouldn't normally be capitalised.

As a previous anon noted, the vulgar expressions somewhat detract from the story. They feel out of place, especially lines like "robes that would make an ordinary tailor cream himself". This also applies to the sex scene later on.

Tenses are inconsistent at best, erratic at worst. The story jumps from present to past repeatedly, much to its detriment. This is, fortunately, easily fixed - and does clear up for the most part as the story gets going.

How can a face be "dangerously close to her ear"? Does he bite? I jest of course, but it's a cliché phrase that's wholly unnecessary.

The prince's character is overblown, in my opinion. Unpleasant is one thing, but he becomes an absurd caricature the moment he arrives - he'd be far stronger if he was cruel to the servants, but put on a thin facade of kindness when talking to her (or something along those lines). There's a hint of that at the start, but he immediately devolves.

This sentence - "the safety of guards around her to leap to her safety".

Find a guide online on punctuation regarding quotations. I can't be bothered to note all instances, but there are various punctuation errors - most pertinently perhaps that there should be a new line every time someone new starts talking.

"the sniveling Kallian prince" - is sniveling the right word here? He's not really exhibited anything along those lines.

>>6696644

CONT.

"this castle was about to get its just desserts... more importantly, by his hands"
I don't have a clue what you're trying to say here, I'm afraid.

Spears =/= pikes

I'm vaguely disturbed how she doesn't even seem to mind that he killed so many of the castle denizens. Sure, her parents and siblings were cruel to her, but was there really not a single person in the castle she didn't want dead? Not even her poet friend?


THE GOOD

I laughed when the guard's helmet fell off. I don't know why.

This apostrophe is in the right place - "thick as the princess' arm".

I appreciate the focus on storytelling, and I think it's to the story's credit that it doesn't entirely focus on sex stuff.

I also laughed at "not even bothering to look at the flying sadist."

The romance is cute, if very, very quick.

NOT having a half-dozen fetishes involved was quite refreshing. It's been too long since I read about consensual sex in the missionary position between two consenting adults, even if one of them was a dragon.

The brief foray into Beastmen culture was interesting - I would have liked to know more.


So there you go. A good story that's somewhat spoiled by a few clichés, tensing and dialogue issues, but that shows a lot of promise for future works regardless.

Trying to make CoC type game where you go around fucking monsters.
Except I'm sick of making dozen different variation of the same fantasy trope.
At the same time none of the races I create seem satisfyingly sexy.

>>6717774
Post what you got anyway. As long as I get to fuck and impregnate sexy milf kitsune and make her my cumdump, I'm happy.

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I should probably just post this on the next thread but oh well.

Corrupted sister with mutated tongue.

>>6718869
could you do Sister Sabatiel?

>>6718887
Who?

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>>6718938
I guess he mean Miriael Sabathiel, a sister of battle fallen to chaos. Famous mostly for wearing a gartner over her armor.

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Oh shi! Just discovering this thread, I had thought about making one like it back on /aco/, glad to see it.

Have any of you lads read the Sex Mage Storied By Salamander Flame? I've been really into that shit lately.

Would one of you buggers make a new thread already? I'd do it myself but I'm on phone.

>>6718981
Not until this one falls off the board, there's no rush.

>>6718968
Never heard of it, is it on Sad Panda?

>>6718778
Fuck, man.
I've given up trying to go against the grain.
I didn't want to create/write monster girl for every single animal in the fucking world for a one man project.
So based races on Buddhist gods.
http://pastebin.com/Ytq91qBT

but they didn't feel...porny
so went back and redid the race schema by throwing everything but simplifying it - combining or remixing races.
I'm still working on it.

http://pastebin.com/G8pADswg

>>6719048

no its a write fag i found on literotica named salamando flame.

he writes stories that take place in a world where women have this sex magic that allows them to control and effect men using the man's sexual energy. they can read your mind, make you feel sex remotely and other things.

http://pastebin.com/4sqhv9vZ

this is a good story by him that I feel is a good introduction to it

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New thread >>6720503