/efg/ - Erotic Fiction General (formerly /wst/)

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A guide to constructive criticism, because "Your writing/artwork sucks" doesn't help anyone get better at it.

http://pastebin.com/1s1fLktL

Currently we are creating a set of guides to aid new and upcoming smut writers, if you feel as if you can contribute anything, please do so in-thread!

Completed guides:

Smut Writing for the Sexually Inexperienced: http://pastebin.com/znDUfbtB

Writing from the Female Perspective: http://pastebin.com/M5FNyVWH

Guide to writing monsters in smut: http://pastebin.com/iXjPcUTb

>>6720508
The guide thing is over now because nobody wanted to write any of them. There's no further need for it to be in the OP anymore.

http://pastebin.com/2AdNYUKE
http://pastebin.com/jWMG0itF
http://pastebin.com/aTB4dr25

Could I get a critique for these three stories? Themes include TG and mental changes

>>6720600
I find them pretty useful to have around. Why can't we keep linking to them?

>>6720615
Good point. Would be easier to just put them straight in the OP instead of splitting it into two posts, though.

That said, all of them are on the master list as well.

So, I've got this idea for a fantasy erotic horror story, but I need someone willing to help me hash out some of the details. Someone who (and I'm not trying to sound edgy here, this has been a problem for me in the past) won't lose their nerve with it.

Anyone up for giving me a hand?

>>6720630
Just stick it here and we can all make suggestions.
You really managed to scare off a /d/eviant?

>>6720637
/wst/ did when that one wrote that one botfly story

>>6720637
Yup. Well, not so much scare him off, but he admitted that he didn't like the sound of what I had in mind and wouldn't be able to help me with it. That was for something else though.

Alright, story (according to these notes I typed up in a delirium last night) is about your generic fantasy realm, details mostly unimportant. For an unknown reason, Elven women are becoming infertile, starting with the eldest and rapidly affecting the younger elves. The various elven kingdoms are in a state of anarchy, struggling to hold together despite the fact that their population (never large to begin with) is starting to vanish. The story follows three elven women from various kingdoms who are captured by raiders and sold to a mage living in a tower. This man is determined to find the source of this blight, and undo it. No matter that his grasp of scientific theory is shaky at best, or what he has to do for it.

The three elven women are his test subjects, one older woman (infertile) and two younger women (one of whom is the control).
Most of the story will be seen through the control girl's point of view, occasionally switching to the others so we get a better view of what's going on.

Something I wanted to have running through the story is how, to the elves, this guy looks like some kind of Mengele-type figure for what he's doing to them (so far I've come up with forced IVF, attempted embryonic transfer, and then rape by an elven male) but he regards himself as a man trying to prevent the fall of civilisation.

What I need help with is more "treatments" for the mage to come up with as the repeated failures drive him mad, becoming more drastic/desperate as time goes on. I was also thinking that some of them could eventually die (like the older elven woman, a milf-tier former noblewoman who tends to be on the receiving end of most of the treatments) as their bodies wear out, and then the mage and the control girl's reaction to whoever he finds as replacements.

>>6720665
(Hit the character limit, that's not happened in a while)

Oh, and I was wondering if he should eventually succeed in finding a way of reversing this infertility plague, or not.

Just finished some 'you' style terminally ill princess blowjob porn. I'm told it's pretty good, personally my porn embarrasses me so much I can barely so much as revise it, lol.

http://pastebin.com/h7uiXHK9

>>6720611
>>6720685
Tags for any of these?

>>6720845

Tags?

Uh, it's "tender" rape and oral. Sorry, I'm newfag. Haven't written any porn in month.

>>6720868
My three stories are all TG. All three have mental changes to varying degrees

>>6720503
>>6720508
Suggestion that we add a request for tags when posting stories to the OP next time?

>>6720868
>Tags?
Tags are used to give a preview of what sort of kinks, fetishes, etc to expect in a story link. They can also be used to indicate the setting if it's placed in an established one. For instance some readers absolutely hate stories set in Warhammer 40k and will steer clear of them, while other love them.

The addition of tags can make it easier for readers to find works they're more interested in with a simple search and avoid those they're not.

Example:

>(Story link would go here) Mind Games
>Tags: 40k, SoB, tyranid, rape, chemical mind control, mind break, huge penetration, excessive cum, breathplay, orgy

>>6720894

>breathplay

is this a synonym of asphyxiation

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Guess I should repost this then.

http://pastebin.com/P3kD1G8H
Male/Female, Female/Werewolf, Fellatio, Cunnilingus, Outdoors, Rough Sex, Vaginal, Knotting, Endowed male, Light bondage

>>6720986
Often, but not always.

since he's doing it i guess

http://pastebin.com/h7uiXHK9
tags: male / female, soft / 'tender' rape, reader perspective, oral, terminally ill victim

>>6721005
I have to admit, that is probably the first time I've ever seen "terminally ill victim" as a tag. It seemed pretty well written, but I was a bit distracted by how depressing the idea is.

>>6721081

thanks lel

the idea of raping someone with a fatal illness, too sick to resist at all, kinda popped into my mind and stuck there. might do another, except actual intercourse

>>6720665
>>6720667
So guys, it's been like four and a half hours, does no-one have any ideas?

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Whoever's on this can reply with any updates or questions. Thanks.

>>6721121
You've already set up all the framework you need for the fic. All you have to do is start the thing, it'll come to you from there.

>>6721136
Not the person writing it, but it'll be done when it's done. Asking doesn't make it be finished any faster, and only makes you look pathetically desperate- just have faith and wait as long as necessary.

>>6721239
Someone is on it, almost done I believe. This makes communication easier for both of us.

>>6720315
>no its a write fag i found on literotica named salamando flame.

>he writes stories that take place in a world where women have this sex magic that allows them to control and effect men using the man's sexual energy. they can read your mind, make you feel sex remotely and other things.

http://pastebin.com/4sqhv9vZ

>this is a good story by him that I feel is a good introduction to it

Wow, I'm amazed at how... cute? that was, despite all the bad shit that goes down. Guess I'll have to visit literotica, thanks.

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Mind if I repost this suggestion? (featuring pic related, Hilda from Pokemon Black/White)

I'd like to read a story about this chick transforming into the balloon doll you see right here.

Maybe Hilda got booby-trapped by Team Plasma? Perhaps she was placed under a curse by a Ghost-type Pokemon? Whatever works is fine.

>>6721136
I am the guy on it. It is almost done, just taking a bit longer than anticipated. I ended up taking it in a different direction than originally anticipated and spent way too much time working on story and not on smut. Rest assured, it shall be done soon and shall be appropriately smutty.

>>6721083
>the idea of raping someone with a fatal illness, too sick to resist at all, kinda popped into my mind and stuck there
.....
somebody should probably shoot you before you take this to the real world

>>6721446
Oh, please. This is /d/. We all deserve to get gassed if any of our fetishes were realizable. The great thing about fantasy is that it isn't reality. While I can't say I share his exuberance for that particular scenario, I don't think that many of us have the high ground to criticize it either.

>>6720503
...is that Femprah getting some tentacle action?

>>6721413
Sounds good. No rush.

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Reposting in the new thread, currently working on another picture atm.

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And done. Techpriest and eldar.

>>6721894
Hey, this one's pretty nice!

>>6721894
>this is not my glasses

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This was supposed to be a simple one.

>>6721901
Thanks mang

>>6721925
Well done, sir.

>>6721925
Wasn't there at the end of last thread, but thank you for the knight artwork, Inker.

>>6721925
Are you taking requests right now?

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>>6721927
Thanks.

>>6721932
No prob, I really should draw more of her though.

>>6721935
Not right now, but I'll see if I can get some tomorrow.

An anon mentioned giving more focus to the senses last thread, which is something I've been paying more attention to. But my question is, when you describe the way something smells/feels/tastes/looks/sounds, these qualities aren't really variable within a single scene. So once you've described all that, it seems to me that all is left is the actions you do, so does any one have tips on maintaining a balance and reducing repetition? I mean spacing it out only goes so far, and then it gets strange to notice that some one smells like X or their skin is Y so far into the course of things.

>>6722021
I'm really liking these weird tentacle tongue pictures. Especially on Sororitas.

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>>6722217
>I'm really liking these weird tentacle tongue pictures. Especially on Sororitas.
Now if only they weren't sucking on dicks...

>>6721239
>You've already set up all the framework you need for the fic. All you have to do is start the thing, it'll come to you from there.

I appreciate your faith in my abilities, but I've never written something this complex before, certainly not on my own.

I'm going to need a bit more of a hand than that, is what I'm saying. Just a few things, you know. Some extra details that I'm struggling with. The material I've thought of so far would only carry me to a halfway mark at best, and even then I've no idea how to implement most of it.

>>6720665
Just as a note, you should probably be a bit more patient in waiting for responses. While we no longer run only on the weekends, it's still our peak time.

In any case, here's a laundry list of ideas. Most of these are on the outside levels of sanity and would probably be best-reserved for much later. You can attempt womb replacement, using another species' or even a magically created substitute. You can attempt a non-elf father, going with the usual fantasy "this breeds with everything" species like dragons, fiends, and angels. There is also always the overkill solution, lock them in a tank of waist-height semen and hope for the best. A good last-ditch effort would be trying to get elves to reproduce asexually. Perhaps he can get them to split? I mean, he is a mage.

I'm not sure if I would kill off characters. This place (myself included) tends to dislike bad ends. There is also no reason to kill a character just because you want to bring in another one. Even if you insist on replacing rather than adding, there are plenty of other reasons a character would not be able to continue in the trials (like having her womb replaced by a purpose-built magical incubator thing).

Out of curiosity, how long to you plan to make this? It really probably should not be a single story, simply due to the amount of content you seem to intend to write.

>>6722450
These ideas are pure gold, a thousand thanks anon.

As for bad ends, I never said that he wouldn't eventually succeed. But, having one or more of the characters die (certainly not any of the mains, of course) would show how dire things are getting, for all of them.

With regards to length, I'm not sure. Ideally I'd like it to be a long one, although I wasn't planning on splitting it up. I suppose having the one story run for longer than usual might help get across the feeling that there's no time to rest for them, and that they're all running out of time.

>>6722026
I really probably should have explained it better last thread. What I meant was to describe action through the senses, not just through a miserable pile of verbs. Consider the following descriptions of the same scene:

"He pushed inside her, burying himself to the hilt."

or

"He fought for every inch as he entered her, the soft, warm walls of her sex parting reluctantly until his hips met hers with a wet slap."

While there is nothing wrong with the first version, it gives very little to go on. It isn't sexy in the same way that reading an instruction manual or a textbook isn't. It's just a statement of fact. The second version paints a scene, giving critical detail and describing the act from a relatable point of view.

Rather than saying to describe the senses, perhaps I should have said to describe the scene from a set perspective. Focus on what is being done and what is being felt rather than what is happening. Sex is only sexy because of what you experience while doing it. Think of writing smut as a sales pitch to the reader: why should he/she want to do what you are describing? What makes it so great?

I hope this is a bit more clear. It's rather hard to explain in plain text.

>>6722492
Yeah, that's a lot clearer. Thanks.

Question, what are some tips you more experience ed writers have for writing smut in general? I'm a relative newbie (and also a virgin) but want to improve my writing.

Generally i've noticed that i focus on emotional impacts and other descriptive things rather than the actual lewd act itself. I'm not sure if that's how I should be doing things though. I've been reading up lots of smut (mostly yaoi or slash, which I'm into) but I figure I should ask for direct advice and tips as well.

Since I'm on my tablet I can't offer any samples of how I currently write smut--although I can try to make something up if you all want to see it. Maybe I can try to fill a request while doing it, I dunno.

Is there anything I should keep in mind for non consensual smut also? That is one of my kinks.

>>6722460
"Bad end" is more of a colloquialism to describe character trauma/death than it is an actual ending. I think that most people here would agree that smut probably should not be depressing, even if the events are violent and depraved. You set the same tone of desperation without killing off characters.

It's not just that death is depressing, it is also rather simple and very final. There's a reason very few books/movies/etc. feature character death in the middle of the plot (unless that death is the motivation for other characters). If you kill the milfy elf you described, she is dead. That's about it. If instead the final treatment she received was a dead-end effort, a final act of desperation that rendered her truly and permanently infertile, you have a lot more to work with. Perhaps during the trials she became attached to the other subjects and insists that she be allowed to continue to help, nursing the other girls after particularly difficult experiments or assisting the mage with his more elaborate plans. Her perspective could also open up new possibilities, letting the reader see the story through the eyes of someone fighting for a future she can never truly be a part of. This kind of scenario provokes a much greater emotional reaction than just killing characters. Death tends to be the cheap and easy route for writers.

I only suggest splitting it up because it's much, much easier to read this way. While many of our writers have written long, even novel-length stories, they usually choose to break them up for a reason. No one comes to a smut thread to read a 30k word story. Breaking it into chapters makes it easier to read and will also attract more interest. It also helps to compartmentalize the smut. Going back to your old favorite scene is a whole lot easier if it's in chapter 6 than if it's somewhere in the middle of this sixty-page document.

>>6720986
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erotic_asphyxiation

>>6722498
General advice is almost never helpful. Try teaching someone how to throw a ball without ever seeing them do it. It doesn't work too well. Find an idea that you like, whether it's a request or something you've just always wanted to see done, and write it. We can help a lot more if we can see what you're doing.

As far as non-con goes, you probably should play up the emotional aspect like you say you tend to. It also helps to tie the emotional to the physical. Saying that a character is humiliated or ashamed has less impact than saying specifically what made him feel that way. There's a reason why "it feels good even though it hurts/I'm being raped/he's my brother/I'm being given an enema from the river Styx" is so common in hentai. Conflating physical sensations with the resultant emotional response makes the event more understandable, particularly if emotions are mixed as is so common in non-con. Also, remember that non-con is a two-sided fetish: readers may self-insert as either victim or abuser. Make sure to include material to satisfy either.

>>6722521
Hrm. You've got a point about splitting it up.

One thing I probably should've mentioned earlier is that the elves and the mage don't speak the same language. This would dehumanize both sides; from the elves' point of view, this would make what he's doing all the more incomprehensible, and from his point of view it would stop him emphasizing as much with them. That's something I wanted to keep for the whole story.

With regards to the older elf, I don't know about having her rendered permanently infertile instead, for one thing, she's *already* infertile, and that's why she's his main subject. If she's ever rendered useless to him, he's got no further reason to keep her around. Probably just turf her out of the tower to starve in the wilderness, or give her to the bandits he gets the subjects from to be raped to death.

>>6722546
Yeah, the lack of communication is pretty important and changes the story significantly. I really don't know what I'd do with that kind of story then. It's obviously up to you, but I'm not sure if there is any way to write the story you want to with that kind of stipulation. It doesn't dehumanize the characters, it just reduces their part in the story. Characterization is almost impossible without interaction. Instead of having a story about a mage desperate to save a race and the unfortunate souls that have become his test subjects, you end up with a story about some asshole who does mean things to elves. The mage is already in serious danger of being a flat, edgy character and preventing him from speaking with the other main characters all-but cements it.

I see what you're trying to do, but I don't think it will work the way you want it to. What you'll have is a "hand of god" story. It'll end up being like the Book of Exodus but smutty: powerful guy does things for unknowable reason, little people suffer. This gets boring really quickly and gives you very little to work with. There is almost no possible character development, no potential for drama, and no progression. The mage ends up a cheap, forgettable villain and the elves just some meatbags to get raped.

Also, I think you underestimate the impact of rendering a character infertile in this kind of story. Sure, she already was, but she is part of an effort to repair that. By depriving her the opportunity, you not only cast her as a failure but also give her a front-row seat to a future she cannot be a part of.

>>6722614
I was sure I'd said this in the first post but now that I look I must've left it out; the story is going to switch between the elves AND the Mage, precisely so we can see things from their view and his. (Christ I feel so stupid, how could I have missed that, it's integral to the entire thing.)

>>6722619
I'm honestly not sure that that will help. It's not about what the reader sees the characters thinking but the interaction between characters. The doctor's perspective may never progress past "this is something I need to do". If he can't speak with his subjects, his view is never challenged and things continual as usual. His story is a dead end there. The same is true for the elves: they will always and only be people questioning what is being done to them. Their perspective will be of fear and contempt and nothing else.

Allowing them to converse strictly adds story and character options. You can challenge their perspectives, forcing the two sides to consider the others'. Character development is a powerful driving force, particularly for this kind of story. PoV switching simply does not provide the same opportunity for development. Seeing both sides simply is not a substitute for seeing the two sides converse and challenge each others' perceptions.

It's possible that I may be wrong and your idea will work perfectly fine, but I don't see how you can write a good story this way. The only way I see this going is the way of Elfen Lied: a bathos-ridden collection of interchangeable events acted out by flat, edgy characters. If all you want is smut, that may be fine, but the length of story you're looking to write will suffer.

>>6722651
I can't see how I could have them be able to interact and then also have the Mage slowly lose his mind to the point where he starts trying stuff like a full-on womb transplant. Or even have him be able to do this kind of stuff to them at all unless he's able to dehumanise them in his own mind.

The mage, as his goal would show, is not a bad guy. He's trying to save civilization through these horrible actions, not to fulfil his own sick desires. If he starts empathizing with the subjects, then he won't be able to keep going, that's why he wouldn't *ever* try to understand them. He has to try and distance himself from them, to not feel, and the strain of keeping that up, as well as all the other stuff, is why he starts losing his grip.

>>6722664
>The mage, as his goal would show, is not a bad guy. He's trying to save civilization through these horrible actions, not to fulfil his own sick desires. If he starts empathizing with the subjects, then he won't be able to keep going, that's why he wouldn't *ever* try to understand them. He has to try and distance himself from them, to not feel, and the strain of keeping that up, as well as all the other stuff, is why he starts losing his grip.

Not that anon, but this sounds pretty generic and a hamfistedly "tragic" character."

>>6722673
Then what do you suggest? As otheranon said, if I make this guy some Mengele expy, then the story just turns into the Book of Exodus with fetishes.

>>6722664
The thing is that that works fine as a synopsis or a real-life event, but makes a boring story due to lack of development. Long stories fall apart if it just becomes a string of events.

If you want to try to keep the same feeling but are open to changing the mechanics, I think that there is a way to accomplish both. Have you considered having the elves complicit in the act? At first, the mage can try relatively sane techniques (you mentioned IVF, embryo transplantation, etc.). The women need not be consenting; it fits just fine for them to hate their captor for what he does. Over time, however, the sides can come together as the girls come to understand the mage's motivation and character, resenting the methods but agreeing with the concept. They may become willing to make progressively greater sacrifices, viewing their suffering as being integral to the salvation of the species. Perhaps they could even make suggestions. In this way, it could be a tale of the descent to madness of both parties as they try progressively more insane experiments, to the point where neither side truly considers the implication of their actions. After a while, the cycle will feed itself, with both parties suffering as the stakes grow steadily higher.

>>6722678
I can't help but feel that would remove the feeling of powerlessness I wanted to have with the elves, or the control elf anyway. If they're complicit in it, even in the slightest (I can't see them letting him set beasts on them to try and create some kind of hybrid, no matter how unhinged they get, for one thing) would feel like them taking control of what's going on.

>>6722675
>Then what do you suggest?
Honestly, I don't know. Perhaps you explore the issue from a different view entirely. The "Misunderstood man man doing fucked up shit with delusional good intentions" is pretty overused. And as another anon mentioned the utter lack of empathy only makes the mage a dull character. Also I take it the mage is human? What's his motivation for his actions? How does elven infertility affect him or civilization as a whole?

Because the mage is a bad guy. Who is he to fuck with the course of nature? It's only in his delusion that he considers himself a good guy, the source of his insanity should be the eventual breaking of his delusions as he sees himself for what he really is.

I think empathy would save this entirely. Maybe make the mage an elf, open dialog an have him battle with his atrocities and the greater good. Maybe as things get more dire, have it less about doing fucked up edgy shit to the girls, and have his conflict about doing such fucked up shit to women of his own race result in a kind of self-blame, in which maybe it isn't the women, but the men. Have him experiment on himself with really messed up results, as this firms his resolution to the cause and could even inspire a sense of sympathy in the captured girls.


I dunno, just my two cents.

>>6722700
And the sense of powerlessness could come from anywhere. Maybe the elves even take control of the guy, and continue the experiments. the sense of powerlessness should ultimately come from their inability to cure the infertility, I think.

>>6722700
Alright, dial back their control a bit. They can be entirely at the mercy of the mage but come to accept and even revere his control over time. It would pretty much be a combination of Stockholm and mind break. They have no control over their eventual fate, but they believe in the cause enough to consign themselves to experimentation. I think that that hits all of your stipulations but also leaves the story open for character development and an advancing story.

Before you say that you think it's unbelievable, may I remind you that people actually volunteer to go to war. We're hardwired to care about the survival of the species and are willing to do and be subject to all kinds of terrible things if they feel that it's their duty. This is pretty much just the fetishy version of that concept.

>>6722710
I second the idea of the wizard experimenting on himself. It is not something I think I've ever seen in this style of story and really lends credence to his characterization as a semi-decent human being.

>>6722727
>really lends credence to his characterization
Yeah, in my mind he would just feel like a hypocrite otherwise. Trying to play him as the tragic character with his inner torment is nothing compared to what he puts the girlsthrough. So only by having him put him self under his own mad experiments do you really feel a sense of gravitas to his actions and rhetoric.

Hell if you really want the character relationships to get interesting and twisted, have one of his experiments fuck him over so bad that the matronly infertile elf actually has to nurse him back to health again. Maybe without him they all starve or something, so she has to make sure he can still give them what they need to live. This has the potential to really develop relationships and add a twisted kind of dependence. And then as this anon said, >>6722678, have the women slowly begin to help with the experiments as they struggle together against this infertility.

It completely changes the direction of the story, but I think its much better than what you're going for now. Well, much less overdone at the least.

>>6722543
Thank you, that is true...in that case, could
someone give me a prompt please? If not I will post something I've thought up in a few days.

>>6722727
>It would pretty much be a combination of Stockholm and mind break.
I tried doing a story like that a while ago, couldn't do it.

>>6722742
Two things; first, the infertility plague is only affecting the elven women (so how would experimenting on himself help?) and second, none of these elves know jack about biology how would they be able to help?

It's too late/early for this, I need to go to bed.

>>6722748
>so how would experimenting on himself help?
Experimenting on his seed to be able to impregnate cross-species? Experimenting with magic to alter his genetic makeup? Maybe you go with making the mage an elf in the first place? Maybe he reads up on a legend that sends his research in another direction. To try and become X or find Y to help with the phenomenon.
>none of these elves know jack about biology how would they be able to help?
They don't help with thinking shit up, they just help by not screaming and biting whenever he gets close. You don't need to know jack shit if all the surgeon asks you to do is hand him implements.

>>6722748
I don't think you should give up quite so easily. I think that trying something that's hard for you is much better than writing something that is fundamentally flawed. You'll also learn more as a writer that way. If nothing else, we've thrown a few different ideas around and maybe you'll find something out of this that you think you can write. There's usually at least a couple of us out here that are willing to bat around concepts. I'm sure there's some way of getting this to work.

RE: the male experimentation, I think there's plenty of reason for him to try modifying himself. First of all, given how little your characters seem to understand, it's entirely reasonable to conclude that the fertility is a male problem. Even if this is ruled out, he's a fucking WIZARD. He's already tried pairing the girls with all sorts of things, maybe he believes there to be some way of creating super semen. Alternately, if you're into that kind of thing, he can always try to impregnate himself or turn himself into a woman. Magic really opens up the possibilities.

As far as the women contributing goes, this guy >>6722763 has a point, but I also think that they could be useful in other ways. They may not know anything about biology, but that does not exclude them from having ideas or knowing about magical techniques or similar cases in mythology. Outsiders and untrained people actually make excellent references when you're totally out of ideas. I actually am a scientist (physicist) and have consulted people in entirely unrelated fields in the hopes that their perspective might catch something that I missed. Sometimes it even works.

Could i request a fic where hinata and hanabi from naruto are conjoined twins, and cannot be seperated. (How they are hoined is that they share everything below the arm pit, sharing a third arm that just looks like a combination of the two arms, with seperate hands. They have two legs, and three breasts, while the middle breast has two nipples.) the story would be about them trying to get with naruto, and possibly end with at least a couple lemons. Im up for anyone create enough to make this story idea a reality, and will answer any fic related questions you could ask.

>>6722776
>Alternately, if you're into that kind of thing, he can always try to impregnate himself or turn himself into a woman
>The elf girls hold him down as one of his old experiments tries to impregnate him/her
Hot

>>6722786
Oh that would be fun. I'm always into role reversals. Could the girl be tg'ed into a guy too, or will it just be futa?

>>6722778
I would try writing this (I'm the anon who said they were trying to get tips) but I'm worried it won't be much good...I've never tried this kind of kink before. How do hinata/hanabi feel about getting with abrupt? Are they competitive with each other?

>>6722801
Basically they are competitive, but because they know they will not ever be seperated, and the fact that they like the same guy, makes them get along on that front. Each girl controls their side of the body, but in the middle, feeling is shared between the two.

>>6722498
Honestly, best thing you can do is just read porn. Read read read. Think about what you really liked, and try to emulate that style as much as possible. Immerse yourself, you know? That's true for most skills.

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Hey, I'm wondering how you guys feel about interactives, or interactive authors. I've been looking for some general critique on my writing as a way of improving and I'd like to give this a shot.

I have a good sized list of episodes over at the Unending BE Addventure, and if anyone wants to do me the favor of reading some of them and giving me some advice / telling me I suck, I would really appreciate it. I know I'm not really a terrible writer, but I don't really consider myself all that good compared to stuff I've read previously.

Here's a link to the list of episodes I have written on that website. I'll try to list major tags for the whole list, but the episodes are varied and probably won't contain all of the tags in each particular one.

http://www.bearchive.com/~addventure/game1/trees/auth/dissonant.html
Tags: Futa, BE, Muscle, Hourglass Expansion, some Multi, Unrealistic Sizes, and more

The most recent episodes are the most indicative of my current skill level, and I like to think I made progress since I started. Again, I appreciate anyone who cares to give me a look.

I'm really surprised at how little good Futa on male/trap/whatever there is since it seems pretty popular as of late.

Okay, so I went back over this trying to keep in mind what was said last thread about grammar and structure and I have another piece written, but I just want to make sure that I fixed the issues with this "chapter" before posting another. Also I named the vampire succubus thing, because I figured it would make referring to people easier.

Also, do you tag everything that happens? Like if you offhandedly show something, but it isn't the main point, do you tag it? Anyway, thanks for reading and another round of criticism would be amazing.

Succubus
http://pastebin.com/YCGzsVX1

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>http://pastebin.com/BZnndEyu

tags:
>Incest
>Cult/Ritual
>Aphrodisiac


I'm not a very good writer but I gave it a shot. Its probably shit but I hope you enjoy it. Its kind of short.

I will continue it if anyone wants me to.

>>6723184
Not on these parts, mate. Over here, you see, futa is actively frowned upon as trite and uncreative.

>>6723379
Better to have too many tags than none at all.

>>6723487
>futa is actively frowned upon as trite and uncreative
Why?

>>6723488
because that anon has a fedora on his dick

>>6723488
To quote (again) from one of our guides:
>In case you have somehow never been on 4chan before, "futanari" (or futa for short) is a word denote women who happen to have penises (aka "dickgirls"). For reasons too complicated to explain here, this is a very common fetish- so common, in fact that /d/ was first made for the sole purpose of containing it all. However, this glut of material is not conducive to writing futa material for several reasons. To paraphrase one anon, "I don't mind the idea of a chick with a dick, but dear god are they so overplayed, it's not even /d/ to me anymore. Futa is BORING, futa is OVERPLAYED, FUTA HAS BECOME FUCKING VANILLA, it's like the first thought fetish writers have when it comes to women dominating/sexually aggressive towards men is "put a dick on her", SHOW SOME GODDAMN CREATIVITY FOR ONCE. And don't even get me started on how it's always a stupidly huge cock to show how much better they are at fucking than a guy." Quite simply, there is an entire board dedicated to futa material, so it's strongly advised that you consider putting a unique spin on the idea rather than just adding it for its own sake.

TL;Dr: futa works better in pictures than it does in writing.

>>6723494
Whoever wrote that guide is an idiot.
> FUTA HAS BECOME FUCKING VANILLA
It's another sex. It can be as vanilla or deviant as you want. Like male. Or female. Do you bitch because female is overplayed in smut too?
>it comes to women dominating/sexually aggressive towards men
So, what, futa exists solely to fuck men? What about futa on futa or futa on female? What about when another man doesn't even enter into the equation?
>And don't even get me started on how it's always a stupidly huge cock to show how much better they are at fucking than a guy
Again, what if this "other guy" isn't even on the radar. This seems like projecting.

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>>6723494
That entire paragraph is pretty pathetic tbhfam.

Sounds like some guy is just projecting in a place where he thinks his opinion will matter.

>>6723497
>>6723500
Pathetic or not, it's still reflective of popular opinion here and you'll still be fighting an uphill battle if you want to write futa. If you think you can do it well, go ahead and put your money when your mouth is and prove it.

>>6723504
>Reflective of popular opinion
See, now, you're the only person saying this. How is it reflective of popular opinion?

>>6723507
Because it's been echoed in numerous other threads in the past?

You have to remember that most of this community are /tg/ exiles, not natives of /d/. They aren't as attached to futa as the rest of the board is, nor are they as inclined to write or talk about it. That's the way it's always been here.

>>6723509
>>6723504
I'm with this guy. Futa is weak and boring af. For pics it's understandable, but with writing one can do so, so much more than just sellotape a dick onto a girl.

>>6723521
I understand not liking it, I just don't understand finding it boring. You act like whatever it was that you read would have been any less bland if it were a dude and not a futa.

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>>6723544
They're bored of it and expect everyone else to be bored of it too.

And if you aren't you have shit taste.

>>6723560
By no means. We're literally just saying that there's a fair few of us who are tired/disinterested in it, and giving that as a reason why there isn't more fiction of it written.

>>6723544
Indeed - but futa often takes the place of anything else, and is the only non-vanilla element of the story.
And that's boring.

>>6723571
>Indeed - but futa often takes the place of anything else, and is the only non-vanilla element of the story.
>And that's boring.
Ah, well this I get.

>>6723571
To expand on that guy is saying, think about this: within the confines of a given fic, what would be the benefit of having a futa over just a woman with a strap-on? In most fics, there's no practical difference between the two at all.

>>6723574
>there's no practical difference between the two at all.
cum

and no artificial is not muh fluid

>>6723574
I can relate to what a dick feels like much more than I can to what it feels like to have a vagina for one. Dicks feel things, and ejaculate. Strapons don't.Dicks can be used for procreation, strapons can't. You seem to be suggesting that a strapon can replace a dick, and to do so would be akin to suggesting an onahole can replace a pussy

>>6723576
>>6723577
Good point, good point.

Still, apart from that the "third sex" is rarely depicted in a way that makes them seem like anything but a woman with an extra part on them. I'd expect having a penis to have way more effects on a woman than simply making them more likely to get horny.

Where's the psychological aspects of it- the feeling that they're not like normal women, or a degree of ambivalence toward their bodies? All too often the average futa seems to be blissfully unaware that they're the exception to the rule, as it were. (Doubly so if they weren't born futas- I can't imagine any woman reacting to the appearance of a penis as a part of her body with anything other than shock or disgust.) You need things like that to make a futa a good character, and I haven't seen that happen very much.

It may be good for the smut proper, but as a story element by itself it doesn't have a lot going for it unless it can be made convincing. Does that make sense?

>>6723594
>You need things like that to make a futa a good character, and I haven't seen that happen very much.
I don't really think so. Depends entirely on the setting. If you're born with a twat, tits and a cock and the world is split 33/33/33, I don't think you'd even bat an eye. You raise a good point with the sudden sprouting of a dick though.

>>6723603
>If you're born with a twat, tits and a cock and the world is split 33/33/33, I don't think you'd even bat an eye.

Thing is, I can't say I've even seen any settings like that. Have you?

>>6723594
>the "third sex" is rarely depicted in a way that makes them seem like anything but a woman with an extra part on them.
So you can see why I'm surprised by how little quality content there is for it?

Its really popular but there's still less excellent stuff in the whole pool than a lot of really niche things.

>>6723618
There's a casual futa thread up in the catalogs right now. I haven't read any settings like that, no but that's not to say it don't exist.

I don't think that pretty much anyone here who isn't a spoilsport actively dislikes futa. I think that the primary complaint is that it tends to be a dead-end story element. Futa is often the entire premise and the only kink, much like how furry porn is usually indistinguishable from any other kind of porn if you ignore the snouts.

I think that if someone were to write a story where futa is an aspect of the story, rather than the sole driving force, it would be well received. So long as there is an obvious difference in both description and story between a futa and a man other than "one has tits", it's probably fine.

On that note, I think that flitzbitz did a decent job of that with Conbert and the Cleric. The story could use some improvement, but I think it's a good example of futa being done well in a rather vanilla way. The futa element is backed up by the story and does not wholly overwhelm the smut.

>>6723634
Are there really that many stories where the plot is nothing more than "we fuk now because u futa"? I don't read alot of futa smut

>>6723638
I've certainly seen a lot of it. Then again, most writing repositories don't have nearly as much criticism and feedback as we do, so it could well be the communities that feature it rather than the fetish itself. I think that a lot of us are wary to write it because we've seen this kind of thing in the past.

Even if you haven't seen it in stories, you have to have seen it on /d/ in general. Half the threads are "futa doing [x]", as if futa makes it inherently more interesting (anyone remember the "futa in a room" thread?).

>>6723642
While I wouldn't say it makes it inherently more interesting, it's just, how else is a woman going to fuck another woman? Yuri is boring and if you're gonna go with a strapon you might as well have the real thing. So at the same time I do and don't get the notion that its trite and uninspired.

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>>6723634
If memory serves, Flitzbitz retconned the futa part when it was pointed out that it was rather strange that a cleric of the goddess of fertility should lose the ability to bear children herself as part of her service to said goddess. Kind of a contradiction in terms, really.

>>6723622
I believe that would fall under another of the "futa doing [x]" thread. No attempt at creating a setting or even explaining why the futas are acting as casual as they are.

I don't deny that such a setting where the existence of futas is considered both normal and common does exist somewhere, but I get the feeling that not a lot of thought would have gone into its making.

Remember, pic related is a very accurate description of what a lot of people including myself look for in a fapfic.

>>6723672
>how else is a woman going to fuck another woman?

It doesn't always have to be about penetration of the vagina by a dick or its equivalent. Fisting comes to mind, for a start, and while I would also mention scissoring I get the feeling that's what you meant by "yuri".

>>6723694
That's weirdly cute. I like what you did with her tongue.

>>6723689
Fisting doesn't really feel... mutual enough. Not unless you're a slime or something and put all your pleasure receptors in your arm or something. It's always felt kind of detached and clinical to me. Like you're just cramming your fist in there to see what happens, what kind of face she pulls. I mean what do you yourself gain from putting your fist in some one else?

Asides from fisting, anything not penetration just feels like foreplay. Which is cool and often hot, but wears incredibly thin if you try and treat the entree like the main meal.

>>6723689
He did retcon that and I agree. I was one of the guys who suggested the change. I'd argue that a magical strapon that feels the same as a dick is, for all practical purposes, a dick. As such, I think it's still safe to call her a futa. It would probably be best not to get into an argument about the semantics, though.

>>6723694
Good lord, that's wonderful.

>>6723700
The entree is the main meal, I think you got your food metaphors mixed up. But I suppose you have a point with the fisting thing even if one could make a similar argument about fingering for straight couples as well.

>>6723713
His point was that lesbian sex is comprised of acts that most resemble foreplay. I don't think that many straight couples use fingering as the primary form of sex.

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>>6723699
>>6723708
Thanks. Pic related is alt version.

Also, question: is there a specific name for long tongues, and is it a recognized fetish/kink? Asking because sometimes I don't know what to tag pictures with and sex-related names can get pretty out there haha.

>>6723729
I think "really long tongue" should suffice. There's probably some ridiculous Japanese name, but it's probably too obscure to matter.

>>6722808
Also, because they have been conjoined from birth, they dont really care about washing each other, as dispite being two seperate people, they are one body.

>>6723748
What i meant, was they dont really care about personal space, as they know they cannot achieve it when sharing almost everything below the neck.

>>6723748
Ok, thank you!! I've started working on it, and I hope it's to your taste--although it's definitely more smut than plot. Last questions (for now) who's more attracted to naruto? And can one of the twins feel sensation from their third hand/arm from what the other feels?

Besides getting a pastebin and posting stuff here is there any other place to post stuff I wrote?

>>6723763
There's always tumblr, blogspot or whatever other blogging platform you like. Or stash it on the cloud or something.

>>6723634
Having any variation of dickgirl shit in the tags makes me not even bother with the story and expect nothing worth reading from the writefag in the future. It's a fetish a lot from /wst/ don't care for.

>>6723777
I think that you're projecting your views quite a bit there. I've been around /wst/ since day one and do not remember your views ever being common. If anything, I'd say that the consensus lies much, much closer to what I said.

I can understand not reading a story because you don't care for the tags, but ignoring an author is just ridiculous. Even if you only look at prolific authors from our /tg/ days, that means that you are writing off CB, Cooked, Cornelius, and Fransisco, all because they happened to write a story involving a dickgirl.

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>>6723821
And they're all pretty good authors at that matter. Can't judge all their work based on only one thing, after all.

>>6723821
and most of what they write I don't care for

>>6723826
That's fine, just don't make it seem like everyone else shares your views. Fetish shaming really does not belong here, nor did it belong on /wst/.

>>6723826
Out of curiosity, what do you care for then? They've written a lot of varying fetishes in their fics and also vanilla.

>>6723836
>human guyXfemale monster/xeno/etc
Maybe 3 stories from CB are the only things I like out of all the writefags mentioned by that one post. The others have nothing I care at all to read.

>>6723839
Well, why didn't you say that instead of suggesting that they were all of no interest simply because they had one or two futa fics written? Try requesting something, you might be surprised.

Or better yet, why not give it a shot yourself? We seriously need more writers here, and nothing will ever get done if it's like 5 people in total writing everything for the thread.

>>6723846
Unfortunately, classes kind of drain me from wanting to write. Also with has dead as this place became after being sent to /d/ coupled with the /aco/ retardation makes me not even bother requesting anymore. All dickgirl shit shoved into the threads over the months doesn't help either.

>>6723438
This has potential, but at the moment it's bogged down by a bunch of easily avoidable mistakes. Here's a few that really stood out to me.

>The apostrophe in "Lacey's" is missing in several places, including the title. Other possessive nouns are also missing apostrophes.
>Several instances of "its" and "it's" being mixed up.
>Present tense perspective doesn't work very well in a third person narrative. Just a stylistic issue there.

Overall, I'd run this through a spelling and grammar check if I were you before planning to continue. That said, the premise itself is fairly good on its own merits.

>>6723850
It'll certainly be dead when so few people are willing to stick their necks out and write, and complaining is more common than critique or even requests.

No writers active means requests get ignored, which is bad for everyone. Only way to stop that is to be proactive and get into writing yourself. It doesn't matter if your writing is good or bad, as long as it's readable it's better than nothing at all. (Same goes for drawing too.)

>>6723729
I don't know, but there definitely isn't enough of it. You're doing the God-Emperor's work, inker.

>>6723729
I don't come here too often so this is my first time seeing your stuff. Love it, and I have to ask if you have more somewhere else online?

>>6723921
His Tumblr is notreallybuttpants.tumblr.com.

Most of his other pics are up there too.

>>6723754
I havent really thought about who else is attracted to naruto, besides the conjoined girls, but if you would like to add some creative thoughts towards it, i would not be opposed at all.

>>6723754
As far as the third arm, imagine two arms as far as bones and most of the muscle, but connected as far as the outer muscle and skin, making it look like two arms under one skin. Up to the hands, which split. As far as feeling, they have no shared feeling or control over the other side, but they would both feel it on the part thats connected. They would both have to agree to move their part of the arm to move the shared arm. They control their hand in that arm 100 percent though.

>>6723955
The arm splits at about wrist level, leaving two fully developed hands always facing each other. (Like goku's hands in kamehameha stance.)

Hey there, weird request, but does anyone know of any good FtM stories? Ive been looking through the Index but havent found any yet. Its a pretty rare kink but i'd be suprised if there wasnt any!

>>6724208
That's never been really popular in /wst/, so pretty much nothing has been written about that fetish. There might be one or two in the index.

>>6724208
There was a guy in the last thread looking for FtM requests/prompts. Perhaps he's still around?

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Long time I checked the threads. Cool to see they're still going.

>>6723874
Um...I'm the anon trying to write the conjoined twin thing. I've seen so many people talk about not using it (third person present) but I use it a lot myself. Could someone please tell me why? When I'm fantasizing in my head I usually go third person present and i like reading those kinds of fics (although i can't for some reason tolerate first person or second person)

>>6723945
No no i mean which of the twins is more attracted to naruto, if any? Or are they both equally into him?

>>6724214
Mmm, I might try a crack at it myself. Be interested to see some gradual FtM transformations, perhaps with orgasms accelerating transition? I like that sense of reluctance coupled with the irresistible. Its wrong but it feels so good, even as the feminity is fucked/jilled away...

>>6724271
Glad to see you're alive and well too, Keys. Been ages since I last saw you here; how's it going?

>>6724214
I kinda am? But it's not just FtM I'm interested in... it's FtM and then it's a huh and they keep going on as a cock hungry slut, just now as a delectable twink instead of a luscious babe.

I only want it because it doesn't exist. It's the most terribly of my terrible fetishes.

>>6724323
I could be down for such a scenario... Anyone wanna take a crack at anything FtM?

>>6724340
I know Fitzblitz took it up because it's both bisexual and not-depressing.

It has all the angst of: Huh... no wonder men are perverts...

And then they go and get themselves fucked at some gay bar wearing a skirt.

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>>6724297
Lotsa work, not a lot of smut

>>6724363
Plenty of time to change that now, I hope. Good to see you haven't lost your touch.

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I've got some bullet biting to do.

I was hoping to just let this slide by here unnoticed, but if I'm really serious about improving my writing, then keeping my failures to myself is one of the worst things I can do.

So here is, in my opinion, the second-worst thing I have ever written.

http://pastebin.com/bKk9uNSF

Tags: hetero, monster girl-ish. amazon, unsympathetic protagonist, little guy, big girl, slight height difference, aphrodisiac, pseudo-orgasm denial, kidnapping, public sex, musclegirl, rape, shotgun wedding, deflowering, gentle femdom, music

>>6724363
Nice !

>>6724389
Not quite done with it yet, but I gotta say your "second-worst work" actually seems pretty good thus far. Good use of vocabulary, realistic-seeming protagonist (i.e. naturally being dubious about the intentions of the seven-foot-tall amazons claiming to seek him as a husband), interesting snippets of worldbuilding that reveal just enough while leaving you wanting more- all in all, good stuff.

I have to wonder-what exactly is wrong with it in your opinion? Can't say anything's really jumping out at me here.

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Okay a request for a pic or fic. For those who have seen it on /tg or read the AP, in 'Wrath of the Righteous' The goddess Iomedae really screwe dup by violating the divine non-direct action pact and yanked the PCS to her realm and blasting them with trumpets. So how about something dealing with her falling and becoming public use for The Abyss? Maybe a pic of her giving oral to a demon. JUst use a generic winged/tailed/horned guy or a big dick.

>>6724287
Hinata is more attracted to him, but hanabi really likes him also.

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>>6724387
I still owe the /wst/ for my current skill level.

>>6724567
You're welcome.

Let us know if you're taking requests, we're absolutely starved for more drawfagging.

>>6723826
And just because you're vocal doesn't mean you're a majority.

>>6724669
maybe you could do a piece explaining the origins of her mutation?

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>>6724483
I tried.

>>6724693
I'm still can't decide if it's caused by chaos or tyranids.

>>6724775
Thanks dude.

>>6724775
Swallowing too much Tyranid cum when the Canoness' wasn't looking.

>>6724775
Taking requests inker?

>>6724775
Chaos. Always Chaos.

>>6724411
I just thought it fell apart in the second half. The pacing going all out of wack is my best guess for why reading over it leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

The ending isn't too great either, but that's a problem that occurred after I decided the story was trash. I chopped off a bunch of the original ending because it was setting itself up for a second part--a second part I no longer had/have the confidence to pull off.

>>6720508
I really like those pastebin. thank you, anon
is there are "writing from the male perspective", too?

>>6725279
Was it? That's a shame since it started out so well. Regardless, what I saw wasn't quite as bad as you made it out to be.

>>6725345
None. Or at least none that has been written yet. If you or someone else wants to give it a shot, be my guest.

And we've got another fic wrapped up. First time writing anal, and I figure it should contain enough to make up for all the previous fics I've written combined. Hope you enjoy it.
Noblesse Oblige
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_jvgeiAN_SFCP3cjfWZgxSlliUsULED11HHt_VdRDLw/edit?usp=sharing
Tags:m/f, warlock/noble, oral (male), anal, sex toys

>>6725452
Any chance you can throw it on pastebin? It's a lot easier to read (at least in my opinion)

>>6725483
Very well. I've found that it loses out on the ability to do stuff with different fonts, italics, and so on though.

http://pastebin.com/wNy5jTQs

>>6723560
those onaholes look terrifying.

>>6723729
Prehensile tongue.

>>6723839
There's plenty of that here and an entire thread for it on /jp/.

>>6725653
>wanting anime woman in shitty cosplay

>>6725656
>not liking catgirls

>>6725658
>shitty cosplay

>>6725660
>implying rough tongues are possible with cosplay

>>6724389
>filename

Heh.

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current gathering of elf sluts http://imgur.com/a/1NQgX

>>6726011
noice

>>6720503
Would anyone consider things that include subjects such as cuntboys (especially transformations), male /d/, or female to trap/male transformations?

>>6726279

>male /d/

Define?

[spoiler]>cuntboys (especially transformations), > female to trap/male transformations

These are my fetish.[/spoiler]

>>6726290
Tentacle on male, monster boy on male, transformation, hypnosis, basically any /d/ fetish, but with guys. Sorry if this was vague, I'm just really into /d/ fetishes, but not so much girls.

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>>6726471

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>>6726472

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>>6726474

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>>6726475

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>>6725511
I rather enjoyed this. Sabine and Gaiseric's old-timey phrasings and militant politeness were amusing to read, and Sabine's growing sense of frustration in the early part of the fic was pretty well conveyed. The sex itself was brief. What was there was good, but it was over with very quickly, and I feel that a little more meat would have been nice.

For those interested, I'm currently working on a Genestealer Patriarch/Magus thing, to celebrate the long-awaited return of Genestealer Cults to 40k.

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>>6726477

So where is this botfly story I keep hearing about? I can't find it on the smut index.

>>6726478
I know. Thing was that I was getting worried that we were beginning to run out of ways to describe the buttsex by the end and didn't want to just keep repeating ourselves. We seem to be running into that issue a lot; any tips on how to avoid it beyond thesaurus abuse?

>>6726608
I believe it's the one called "Parasitism" under XS's fics.

>>6726000
Is it a reference I'm missing?

>>6726657
Thanks, found it.

>>6720503
>>6720508
Say, since we've also got artists in here, maybe we could add some art guides to the OP too?

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>>6723689
>If memory serves, Flitzbitz retconned the futa part
Yeah, it's a magical strap-on now. Same basic action, but it opens up the way for vanilla sex scenes, too.

>>6724208
>>6724214
>>6724348
Yes! I'm still working on the FtM transformation story. Would've been done by now, but I was sick all last week. As it is, I'm about 85% done and it's already longer than my other two stories. Don't see why it shouldn't be done by the end of the week.

So when i finish my first porn comic, can i post it on this thread?

>>6726333
All of the yes.

>>6726687
You probably could but it might be safer to post a link since the /d/ mods can be dicks about things.

>>6726682
Oh, excellent! I'm looking forward to it... well, because it's a fetish and really, I just want to see the 30 something woman turn into an 18 something boy and find that they can make more money camwhoring as a trap then whatever else they were doing (when they're not getting buttfucked...)

>>6726333

>well-endowed stud turned into a cuntboy

That float your boat any?

>>6726279
>>6726333

I am a fan of female-to-trap, I can try drawfagging something later unless you have something in mind.

>>6726671
>Say, since we've also got artists in here, maybe we could add some art guides to the OP too?

We could, but we'd have to make them first.

Is sorceress x catgirl thief still a thing? Let me know if there's an update, thank you.

http://pastebin.com/krq0Cxhc

description: okay hypersexualization isn't usually my thing but i found the idea of a sex church having a 'sex symbol' who is literally just SEX kinky as hell. also powerplay is generally my thing so that opens the doors to a lot of shit i wouldnt normally dig. holy fuck this took a long time to write.
>tags: futadom / femsub, cumplay, hypersexualization, futa, multi-breasts, sex cult, oral, double penetration, worship, cumbathing, bimbo, group sex, thirdperson perspective, nursing, cum milk, handjob, huge dick, clothed sex, small girl w/ small tits, footplay, cum kissing, cunnilingus

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New story on the way
Please stand by

>>6726891
While I appreciate specificity, you really do use too many tags. A lot of these are redundant. Futadom obviates futa and cumplay encompasses everything similar (except cumbath, that's something else entirely). Perspective isn't a necessary or helpful tag, nor is description of characters. Tagging with both oral and cunnilingus is also rather odd. You only need to tag things that you think someone will specifically read a story for or things that you believe may be a turn-off for some audiences.

>>6727102
I assumed you were dead. Did you just find us again?

>>6726333
>but with guys

You mean "but with only guys". There's a good amount of male monster(boy) on female stuff. Not so much on the other stuff. There might be some male transformation stuff, but it will, again, tend to be straight. Are you even male? Most gay guys aren't into cuntboys.

>>6723634
>>6723689
Why wouldn't futa be able to bear children? They have cunts.

>>6726891
Are there males? Pretty sure I've only seen futadom used in relation to futa-on-male.

>>6727142
I was only using the term futa because the author did. Strictly speaking, the character was a woman who had her vagina magically replaced with a dick that was apparently infertile. A futa would normally be able to have children, but not in this particular instance.

>>6727138
You thought you had me, didn't you, switching boards like that but you gotta get up pretty early to pull one over on me

>>6727138

Aight, I'll keep them shorter next time. Perspective, I think, is pretty important because there's a fair difference between reading about a chick getting fucked and reading about you getting fucked.

But yeah, thanks for the advice. I was tagging it as I went and evidently neglected to review my shit.

>>6727142

nah, just females. I figured I'd use stuff like 'Mdom / Futasub' to describe the sex that takes place

>>6727215
Perspective can be important if it's relevant. Third-person is effectively the standard and doesn't need to be tagged (at least in my opinion)

>>6727229

Yeah, true that. Just reader POV is what I usually use so I figure it'd be prudent to tag it if I post here often.

>>6727247
You posted it as a guest, so that's not particularly helpful in context.

>>6727270

good point

i'm used to generals where everybody recognizes me either way

http://pastebin.com/Xe2qs5Vk

aight, here's an older one. one of my first, but apparently still one of the best. gay orc blowjob

>tags: readersub / Mdom, gay, blowjob, drug cum, rape, orc

http://pastebin.com/cDr0G404

made for a porn-off with a friend. (who never wrote anything despite it being his idea) never really showed it to too many people.

>tags: readersub / Femdom & Futadom, orgy, harpies, captive reader, minor drugplay

>>6726725
Definitely!
>>6726726
That sounds great, actually.

>>6727148
Yeah, that's shemale.

>>6727294
>second person
absolutely disgusting

>>6722990
I've always found them interesting, but most CYOA sites tend to vary extremely heavily in quality so it really depends, but I'll check it out when I get the chance

>>6723494
>People are still quoting my futa rant
But yeah, I was over emphasizing to make a point but that point still stands, a LOT of futa is formulaic, it's not bad but show some creativity please

>>6727294
You should really try to write first-person POV.

>>6727294
Fuck those guys, I like the second person bit. It's different and executed pretty well.

Just, please never use exclamation points outside of dialogue. Really throws me out of the story to laugh at the pulpy 40s style of it.

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>>6727692
Hey, I appreciate it. Wasn't sure if my lack of responses was due to the fact that I didn't provide a pastebin link, or something else. And yeah, I would have to agree on a lot of the writing on CYOA sites being pretty varied in quality.

I've never really written anything other than on a CYOA site, but it's been something I've been thinking about for a while. If it matters to enough people, I might be able to adapt some of the stuff I've written into a pastebin, but we'll see.

>>6727809
It would be easier to simply link to your CYOAs. Unless you want to add "if you pick option A go to paragraph 123" lines like in the 'books where you are the hero' of yore, you'll lose the choices. Which is a big appeal of CYOAs.

>>6727809
I really hate to state the obvious, but...

... I don't think that chick has enough blood in her body to support that erection and still be conscious...

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This was supposed to be a quick warmup.

>>6725124
Sorry man, got my plate a bit full at the moment.

I do want to get to that sexy wedding dress request eventually though...

>>6728081
>Raven Guard marine showing proper use of the Deep Strike manoeuvre when allied with Eldar.

Good work inker.

>>6728081
I like it. But theses claws seem impractical for foreplay.

>>6728081
>I do want to get to that sexy wedding dress request eventually though...
Yay!

>>6728184
>origin
so, is this a chaos mutation or a tyranid mutation?

(Please make it Slaaneshi)

>>6728189
It is a gift from the Divine Emperor for her piety and devotion, to prevent her sisters from wandering astray to the temptations of the Prince of Pleasure.

>>6728194
obviously not. The human form is perfect and divine. To sully it and mutate it in such a way is blasphemous.

>>6728189
Well, if we're wanting to stick with the lore, it would have to be chaotic in origin. Tyranids don't really cause spontaneous mutations in other species outside of Genestealer Cults, and even those tend to follow reasonably fixed generational patterns. Chaos tends to be the only faction capable of warping or corrupting the physical form of another being without killing it first. Dark Eldar haemonculus covens do so as well, but generally in the sealed environments of their dungeons, and their modifications lean towards full-body surgical horror.

>>6728184
Ooh, she's a cutie!

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I miss the bobby and jenny shipper.

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>>6723672
>how else is a woman going to fuck another woman?
TENTACLE VAGINA!!!

>>6723694
>>6723729
>>6728184
Inker Sororita pics without dicks in them, YAY!!!

>>6724669
>>6724775
>Dicks
Aw...
>>6725157
>Chaos. Always Chaos.
But yeah, totally Slaaneshi!

>>6726471
>>6726472
>>6726474
>>6726475
>>6726477
>>6726479
>Warhammer Yuri
Yes... YES!!!

>>6728306
What the hell

>>6728250
Did he ever set up a gallery or imgur? His stuff is scattered all over the place, I'm not sure how much of it I have.

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>>6728339
Not that I know of unfortunately.

>>6727741

Yeah, I'm am / was inspired by CoC (may it rest in furry hell) so second person is really big on me. Probably what got me interested in text porn in the first place.

http://pastebin.com/rVqdrGes

Human Doll
description: Was in a bit of a writing slump and this was all I could get the motivation to write. Pretty similar to the Pale Princess, I guess. Just more extreme. I just like powerplay. It's more or less present in all my fics.
>tags: readerdom / femsub, rape, immobile / mindless victim, groping, twisted genius, vaginal

Impregnation has always been one of my major fetishes, and in most works that deal with it, the pregnancy is often accelerated in some contrived manner.

I was wondering, is anyone aware of any stories that subvert this cliche and have the pregnancy endure for a logical amount of time? And actually have that be part of the story, not just something that gets paid lip-service once or twice.

>>6728384
I've said it above, but I'll say it again: you really should write in first person perspective. Turn the "you" non-entity meant to facilitate self-insertion into a genuine character.

2nd person work well for CoC like games and CYOA because those give the reader the illusion of choice. Much less so in a 'regular' story.

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Heres an idea for a story, and that idea, is the three ladies in the pic

>>6728488
How they got that way, and how they cope. Particularly the smut.

>>6728453

I've considered it. Just, "I" feels less involving then you. With 'I' it's less like the reader involved in the story and more like reading somebody's diary. In my perception, at least.

Ultimately it's a matter of preference and, having played CoC for half a decade, mine is well-set.

Story Request:
Tags; Tentacles, Orgasm Denial, Corruption, Female POV

Requesting a story of a girl restrained by tentacles. She boasts about how they cannot take her virginity, due to the paper talisman she placed on her pussy. As the tentacles rub her body and toy with her breasts, she finds herself steadily getting turned on . They continue their onslaught as she moans in protest, eventually letting slip that she wishes the talisman was gone.
After hearing this, the tentacles place her on the ground and retreat away. The girl is left with an ultimatum. Does she use the chance to escape to safety? Or does she succumb to her desires, remove the talisman and beg for her release?

>>6728500
Try third person then. The "you" will only involve the reader until the story takes them somewhere they don't want to. Whereas "I"/"he" will make clear it's a different character rather than a 100% self-insert. CoC/visual novels/CYOA/... go around this by giving the reader choices that a regular story doesn't.

>>6728518

Yeah, I do a little bit of thirdperson and would like to start doing more. I just find secondperson works best for powerplay which is one of my main turn-ons.

Another advantage of second person is that 'my throbbing cock slips into her clenching twat' or whatever sounds really weird. Just, all the adjectives that would normally be put to spice up the sex sound REALLY. WEIRD.

>>6728522
Not that guy, but that sounds fine to me.

>>6728529

Matter of taste, I guess. I just can't imagine anyone but a novelist writing about their experiences chaining all the usual adjectives onto everything. I dunno, though.

Might experiment with some first person fixed-character shit later on.

>>6728582
Not their experiences - the character's experiences.
Anyway, write how you like mate, it's just most people seem to prefer third or first, in my experience.

>>6720611
Sorry it took so long for someone to get to this, but I read through what you have and have quite a bit of feedback. I'll start in order.

Read the Label
I rather liked about half this story. The premise was neat and I thought Ray and his transformation were done well. George, however, simply does not work. Using his perspective was interesting, but his actions made no sense. He simply is not a believable character and drags the story down. You need to consider your story from the standpoint of the narrator instead of simply pushing the fetish. If you need specific examples or explanations, I can provide them in a later post. You should be able to figure out what I mean if you read back over your story and try to build a profile for George just based off what you wrote.

Finally, you really might wish to rethink the title "Grand Wizard". It's already taken and I really, really doubt that it's the person you meant to refer to.

>>6720611
Following the Tempo
I'm going to be really honest about this one. I don't think I found anything to like about it. The main character was overdone, uninteresting, and unbelievable. There was far, far too much description of changes, to the point that the flow chugged to a crawl of repetitive sentences. Frankly, it was hard to read and very boring. The description was also poor and bland, simply stating changes. The old saying is "show, don't tell". You are almost exclusively telling.

Despite the excessive amount of detail, a great deal of it is unbelievable or flat-out incorrect. If you intend to write a lot of TG smut, you should probably learn about the developmental anatomy of genitals. If you're going to go into great detail about what is turning into what, you should get it right. Also, as both a graduate student in science and a classical (romantic) pianist of sixteen years, graduate students cannot afford a Steinway, nor can they fit in our hovels.

The only thing that I can say about this that is even remotely positive is that the scenario itself has potential, though I would suggest to not set it in public, or at least acknowledge that at least one person is going to witness this.

Also, I have a question: men actually use their pockets. Dresses do not have them. What the hell happened to his pockets and their contents? Where does he keep his keys? He had to use them to get into his house.

>>6720611
The House Always Wins
I really liked this scenario. It was creative, fit the theme well, and honestly does not seem all that unrealistic, outside of the magic. I could see casinos doing something like this. Here again, you should really put in the time to do background research. Authors don't need to know everything about their chosen subject, but it is poor form to go into a great level of detail and be wrong. Card counting does not work that way. You would have been better off leaving the details blank.

Much more importantly, you still have some critical problems with characterization. This story shows them better than the others. Your characters all come off as incredibly artificial, their reactions not believable and their personalities not consistent (even taking into account magical gender change). It occurred to me while I read this that there is another problem: your characters know they're in porn. Your victim follows the incredibly trite pattern of surprise->fear->panic->oh well, might as well masturbate. Your magical security guy is nothing more than a one-shot hentai rape protagonist. He tricks the guy into becoming a girl. He tells her what's happening and laughs, probably maniacally, while he changes into a woman. Then he tricks her into having sex. There is nothing interesting about this whatsoever, nor is it appealing.

>>6728500
>mine is well-set.
Same here. I started writing prose after spending a long while reding and writing short, nothing greentexts. That second person really persevered, but only when I write with an average male character in mind. Any one exceptional or female gets the third person

>>6728491
>>6728488
Is she holding their heads or are their heads her hands? Could just be a chick with two very gay dullahan friends.

>>6720611
Overall impression
You have good ideas and set up good scenarios. They are appealing and fit the primary fetish well. Unfortunately, in every case, they are let down by the characters. It's one thing to have wooden, boring characters. It's another thing altogether to have characters that are boring, unlikable, inconsistent, and unbelievable at once. I accept the girl from Read the Label. She is part of the premise and is therefore taken at face value. Every other character falls flat or worse. Just because you write porn doesn't mean that your characters exist only to hold (changing) genitals. Think about the events from the perspective of your characters. I should be able to tell what kind of person each character is just from reading your stories, yet I fail to understand even a single one of them.

Almost as important and lacking as your characters is the smut. Your thing is TG and that's fine to base a story on. That being said, there are very few people who find stories comprised entirely of the actual transformation appealing. Even among TG fetishists, the majority of them want to see some actual sexual content. A big part of the appeal of TG is the ability to explore differing perspectives on sex and the mental changes they bring about. With the exception of a single paragraph in one story, you actually managed to have no actual sex in three pornographic stories.

Part of the difficulty in writing smut is coming to accept that what you find sexy about your fetishes is not necessarily what everyone else likes, even among people who share your kinks. You don't need to worry about everyone liking your smut (particularly if you write TG), but you should work to understand your crowd and write something that most of them can enjoy. There's a lot of different features to TG and you only ever hit on one of them.

(continued)

>>6720611
Of the stories you've posted here, Read the Label was the best by a wide margin. I believe that if you look at my suggestions and apply them to that story, you would see a considerable improvement. Think like your characters, watch the level of detail, and add some actual sex to your smut. Most of all, keep reading and keep writing.

>>6728384
I like this one a lot, but I think it would be even more powerful with some more background info about the doll (if you've got it) - was she ever mobile and sentient and communicative? I think any more detail about her previous state would make it even more arousing and/or horrifying.

I normally don't give a shit, and I wouldn't say anything if it wasn't the second paragraph - meaning I was still trying to get into the story - but you've got way too many commas in it, and I'd nix some unnecessary words and sentences, and break out the last "She is waiting for you" into a separate paragraph.

I'd change it to:
>You move through the familiar workspace easily and gracefully, the lack of light posing no problem for you. You've walked these floors enough to know where you can step and where you can't. Your knowledge of it is subconscious, at this point. You have little doubt that you could go blind and still be able to find every single tool, every switch, every tome. The room is large. Piles of machinery, furniture, and scattered desks create a badly lit maze for you to traverse; your goal at the very end. Your steps grow more and more hurried and impatient as you reach the end of your journey.

>She is waiting for you.

Also I'd say the "She makes you feel powerful." line in paragraph/line 7 is a little hamfisted and obvious. Nitpicking though, if you like it there, it's good.

Again, I'm not having any problem with the second person perspective. I do believe you can still create a viewpoint character with second person and it's well done here. To the critics, I'd ask: If the reader doesn't want to take the journey into being another character then why are they reading?

>>6729043
That ladys hands are the heads. Its a type of conjoinment.

>>6723379
This looks significantly better than your last draft. There are still a few things I'd like to call your attention to, so I've picked out a few explicit examples.

Firstly, though your construction is quite a bit better, there are still a few sticking points. The first two sentences of line 7 should be one and the third sentence of that line should be two separate sentences. While you have almost entirely gotten rid of the stop-go style you had last time, it was at the cost of introducing some gratuitous comma splices and more than a few unrelated sentences to be merged together. For example, look at the third sentence in line 13. There are also a number of sentences that are gratuitously long and often not even grammatically correct. Paragraph-length sentences are never a good thing.

You also have a couple of odd habits that you should work on. One of them is repeating words within a sentence, such as the reuse of "begins" in line 33 (also, the rhetorical question in that same line does not fit). I'm also not sure about your use of articles in place of possessive pronouns. On several occasions, you use "the body", "the glans", and other similar constructions. There is nothing technically wrong with that, but I find it a bit off-putting.

There are also a few places where I find your prose difficult to understand, such as the sentence beginning with "The girl's hips" at line 9. I'm not entirely sure what's going on, mostly because I have no idea how the cold is relevant to the rest of the sentence. It feels like you just bundled some information together.

(continued)

>>6723379
There is also something a bit odd with your style in some spots that I can't quite articulate. I took a couple examples and am going to suggest smoother phrasings so you may see what I can't put into words.

Line seven, sentence beginning with "For a reason unknown..."
"She was drawn into them, her own eyes captured by the mortal's vacant stare. Her heart fluttered as it surged with unfamiliar emotion."

Line nine, first and second sentences.
The girl is young and attractive, her curvaceous body appealing, if a bit flat compared to her own demonically enhanced bust.

Both of these examples convey the same information (more-or-less) but do so much more smoothly. Consider trying a similar style.

Overall, this is a considerable improvement, though there are still a couple sticking points and persistent poor grammar. I think you would benefit from getting a proofreader. Your writing has improved significantly, but I am unsure if your grasp of English grammar is good enough for you to do it all yourself.

Also, I don't remember the specifics of your last draft, but I feel like the smut was much sexier this time around. Keep doing that.

>>6728199
He literally added a third eye to people. What's a long tongue compared to that?

>>6729203
yes, a mutation he was well on his way to exterminating when he no longer needed it. Webway and all that.

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I'd love to read some stories about brain- and body-altering parasites, especially where it pertains to reproduction or bimboification. Any suggestions?

>>6724389
I have no idea why you would consider this your second-worst work. I critiqued the other stories you posted here and honestly think that this is one of your better stories, overall.

The only serious problem I see is that the middle of the story should not be there at all. The beginning serves as a character introduction and builds a premise: a man is captured by some kind of monster thing and think that he is going to be eaten. The end also serves a purpose: the man is proven wrong about being eaten and is introduced to his new life. Everything in the middle has no purpose. No hooks are established, no exposition granted, and no resolution. It's words for the sake of words, and I think that this is probably what was bothering you. It's not a pacing problem, it's an unnecessary content problem. Everything that happens between his first realization that he may not be eaten and his arrival in the village serves no purpose. An argument can be made that him being carried is relevant, but that can be shifted to right after he is captured.

It's almost impossible to successfully describe the long, boring moments between exciting events. It's what makes Tom Clancy books so damn boring. No one wants to read about a guy watching a radar display, and no one wants to read about a man being dragged through a swamp. There is a reason why most authors choose to render the main character unconscious for these kinds of scenarios. Writing them well is almost impossible and an unconscious protagonist is really easy to write. I don't know what would be best for you to do, but I would start by taking that entire section out and going from there.

>>6724389
Also, I thought that the end was fine. It could have used a bit more resolution (an epilogue-type section would probably work well), but it was by no means horrible. If you don't like it, put the original ending back in and finish it up. It deserves an ending you approve of.

I think you need to worry a whole lot less. A writer should always be his own harshest critic, but you could really ease up on yourself a bit.

>>6729080
>To the critics, I'd ask: If the reader doesn't want to take the journey into being another character then why are they reading?
Except that is not what is happening here. The "you" is meant to be the reader themselves. And if I'm going to be in a story, it better not throw me back right out two paragraphs ib by acting completely out of character. Give me an actual fleshed-out character I can try to relate to.

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>>6729316
>>6729319
I don't know how I can thank you enough for your dedication to critiquing, bud, besides taking your advice to heart and improving of course, uphill battle though it may be.

And I see what you mean about the 900 words of filler clogging up the middle of the story. I couldn't really fill it up with dialogue since 'a pleasant conversation with my kidnapper' probably wasn't very high on Roger's priority list, and clonking him over the head or not!chloroforming him would go against the 'gentle' part of gentle femdom. So I suppose your suggestion of scooting the carrying part to the beginning and slicing off the rest would've been the best course of action. "Kill your darlings," as one loquacious wordsmith put it.

This is also the first time I've had more than two relatively in-depth critiques of one of my stories. It's interesting to see how the perspectives clash.

Thank you so much again for the effort you put into this and your previous reviews, and I'm sorry for being a caustic self-critic. Being a boring failure can make you pretty hard on yourself.

I'm trying my hand at erotica. Here's a rough draft of hot half-orc on (crossdressing) boy fiction. I'm open to criticism, requests, and whatever. Enjoy

http://pastebin.com/5Ude8jYv

>Tags: M/M, Anal, Oral, Crossdressing, Threesome, Fantasy

>>6729143
>>6729179
Again, thanks a whole bunch man. You're pointing out a whole bunch of stuff that I didn't even realize was an issue with my writing style, so that's awesome. I'll go over it once more with what you've said in mind and see if I can patch it all up. Also, I'm native English, so it stings a bit to realize my grammar is so bad.

Anyone interested in doing a Penis Expansion comission?

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Got home late, managed to only work on pic related. Did think up a possible concept for her tongue's origin story at work though.

>>6729674
More info on that, anon?

>>6729516
Most Americans have atrocious grammar, to be honest. Our schools do exceptionally little to teach proper writing form, much less grammar. On the bright side, you're still several steps above most of the engineers I proofread for.

>>6729700
>engineers
>grammar

I can assure you that particular problem is universal.

>>6723184
It is a shame that these writefags get all snooty about it. I fucking love futa on male/ mindbreak/malesub and I keep scanning around for it but there's not much to be had. A few stories on 99chan were about all I could find. Two of those were halfway decent, one became an unintended collaborative project in the thread if you can find it. If I get some time I think I might start writing a bit myself, since I think it's a void that needs to be filled. Who gives a fuck if it's subpar writing, if someone gets their dick out when reading it then it has served it's purpose.

>>6723494
Seems more like you're just not into futa, m8. Who the fuck made you the authority on what's good and bad to write about? If someone wants to write out their fantasy they should be welcomed here, no matter how "generic" or "vanilla" you think it is.

>>6729715
It might just be me, but it looks as though he's complaining that all the stories focused around futa nowadays tend to be pretty formulaic and same-y.

Perhaps if some stories were made that made an effort to subvert or in any way move away from the usual "futa story script" he'd have less of a problem?

Idk, just my two cents.

>>6729719
I'm not that guy, but this has always been my opinion, both as a consumer and as a writer. I've seen so few well-written futa stories that I honestly don't even know how I would start. It's a very tenuous balance between "why not just use a man" and "you wrote this story just so you could put a futa in it".

>>6729719
I just think that if someone with an idea wants to put it to writing there should be no resistance from anyone here. If you think you can write it better, then do it. This can apply to every genre, not just futa. Is futa a trope? Absolutely. But it's a trope because so many people enjoy it. Alienating a fan base that big does not serve the community.

>>6729723
Agreed. The simple fact of the matter is that there isn't anything (as far as I can see, anyway) unique to having futa in a story. Nothing that you wouldn't be able to have by just putting a man in it instead.

>>6729677
> Did think up a possible concept for her tongue's origin story at work though.

What's that?

>>6729735
I think it could be done, you would probably just need to adopt a nontraditional setting. It should work just fine with nonhuman species or a setting without men (or a genderflipped version of that elf fertility story that one guy is working on). I think it's also fine as a casual inclusion rather than a premise. There's nothing wrong with including more sex options and I doubt that too many people on /d/ would be too upset about a girl also having a dick in addition to the usual set. The relatively few futa stories I've seen out of this thread seem to follow this pattern. Unfortunately, a preponderance of other stories seem to be written with futa being the beginning and end of inspiration and theme.

I'd actually rather like to see more of it around here. It's a perfectly reasonable fetish that's woefully unrepresented in (decent) erotic literature.

>>6729735

As a pro-futa argument, I'd say it can make a huge difference when it's a girl doing these things. It all has to do with the combination of the female form with the sexual desire / dominant connotation of a penis. I can definitely see how readers would enjoy a "she" instead of a "he". Sexual attraction can be fickle like that.

>>6729710
That's a good mindset, and one everyone here ought to hold. Almost everyone here started because they saw a void to be filled either for themselves or for others and didn't wish to wait for that void to fill on its own. And let's be blunt here: we need every piece of content we can get, and the same people who voice their dislike for futa will end up being grateful that they have a new fic to read at all. I'm not kidding, we always need new contributors.

>>6729751
>>6729733
If the writing itself is good, people will read it no matter what the subject matter is. Let the grumblers grumble, they can make and request their own stuff if they wish. The presence of futa does not, has not, and never will negate the presence of all the other things we cater to, in spite of what some people will inevitably claim.

Now actually making a futa fic that can be considered decent by the high standards of some folks here- there's the problem.

You'll need to think of everything a futa can do that a man simply lacks the ability to do, make the futa a convincing character whose futa-ness does not completely dominate their identity (since most of them only have a single discernible personality trait present at any given time, which is almost always "horny"), and wrap it all up in a setting that can justify why an ordinary person's first reaction to a futa would be something other than shock or disgust. (This might be somewhat simpler if you made it so they were a naturally occurring third sex, but in most stories I see there is either no explanation at all or handwaving about them just naturally being futa and somehow never having any issues with it, which brings up even more problems which would likely deserve a post of their own to elaborate on).

I don't doubt that someone out there could do it, but I get the feeling that it may be more trouble than it's worth. I know I couldn't do it even if I tried, at the least.

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>>6729677

Basically, pic related, but with magic instead of science, over a longer period of time, and a thirsty witch friend orchestrating it all without the guy knowing what or how it is really happening.

>>6729764
I dunno man, I think you overestimate some of us. I for one rarely read stuff I'm not explicitly interested in, and never read futa at all.
I don't think you can blame people for not wanting to read something.

>>6729764
>and the same people who voice their dislike for futa will end up being grateful that they have a new fic to read at all.

No. No, they won't. They'll just ignore it.

>>6729772
>>6729776
The point remains that we are not in a position where that gives us the right to reject a story from the thread outright because it doesn't hit all our fetishes, and we never will be. It's fine if you don't want to read it, but you can't fault the author for wishing to cater to an audience which does not necessarily include you.

>>6729796
I don't think anyone was rejecting anything outright. This all stemmed from someone remarking there isn't much of that type of writing, and some other anon noting that's because it isn't particularly popular among writefags.
No-one's saying it CAN'T be written.

>>6729809
Perhaps I was picking up signals that weren't there, then. Regardless, if someone doesn't want to pick up a prompt or a request there's not much anyone else can do about it.

>>6729813
True enough.
I wonder if there's an observable difference between the fetishes of writefags and normal anons, and why that might be.

I love cock worship, but hate NTR. If I find myself short on the former, I might skim the later since there is a thematic overlap, while ignoring parts I find unsavory. Work with what you have kind of thing.

Just my 2 cents.

Apologies if askin this is uncouth, but does anybody know of any good stuff MAINLY focused around orgasm-denial/humiliation/sexual-frustration-due-to-the-removal-of-sex-organs?

B/c, while I'm not into it (TF/Expansion/Growth is my bag), a friend is, and it's hard to find for her, so I was wondering if this merry gang of pervers could help. Even better if you could find any where the person involved has balls but no othergenitals, tho I doubt that exists.

Might as well post my own dubcon-TF fic in return for this blatant asking, tho I'm sure I've posted it a shitton of times before: http://pastebin.com/Nw86YMtc

>>6729817
It seems as though we have a disproportionate number of rather vanilla writefags, but that is likely due to the origin of the community. I am willing to write just about anything, so long as the prompt does not involve NTR or any of its sisters and centers around actual sex. I find no appeal in fetishes that replace or subsume intercourse such as unbirthing. I'll write pretty much any kind of sex, so long as it features some variation of genitals rubbing things, irrespective of participants or specific details.

>>6729817
Part of it is that writefags like myself have more experience with what actually goes into the process of writing something. Reading a completed work doesn't really tell you much about how tricky writing a fapfic that isn't just "he put his sex in her sex and they had sex" can be.

>>6729826
Took the words right out of my mouth, though I can't say the same about my willingness to write anything. I do feel like I'm expanding my scope to kinkier things than I was used to when I first moved here though, so it might change eventually.

>>6729822
I don't think I've ever seen your stuff around here before. What you posted was certainly interesting. I find the main character's overly casual approach to what would normally be a shocking experience rather amusing. You should post more of your stuff here.

In any case, that's an incredibly obscure fetish. I don't think I've ever seen anything like that in writing. I can remember a single hentai manga with that plot, but I doubt that you would be asking here if you were looking for anything like that. I'm sure that if you searched under the chastity tag enough, you would find something. Good luck with that one. I don't think many people have a fetish for not having genitals.

Okay, I finally did my best on the Naruto conjoined twin smut thing. I hope you guys enjoy it, especially the requester! (Please critique, I personally don't have a fetish for that)

http://pastebin.com/7mDED62P
Tags: Conjoined, cowgirl

>>6729826
>It seems as though we have a disproportionate number of rather vanilla writefags, but that is likely due to the origin of the community.

No it isn't. Go to any of the big fapfic sites, you'll see futanari is just one fetish lost amongst the others. It's /d/ that is obsessed with shoveling it everywhere.

>>6729997
I wasn't talking about futa in particular. Our writefags are rather vanilla for where we are. I agree that /d/ is ridiculously obsessed with futa, but there are other forms of deviancy than just futa.

>>6729677
Does this character have a name? I assume we'll be seeing more of her?

>>6730016

Futa's pretty good, just not as an actual fetish. It gets overplayed, like furry shit does. Both work well in drawn porn, but text relies more on feelings and setting and if you're focusing on 'oh man... it's a chick.... with a dick...' your shit is going to suck.

Same with furry.

>>6729822

>a friend

>>6730172
That's pretty much exactly what I was arguing earlier. Futa pretty much has to be a setting element to work in a story.

>>6730187

i'm saying more it should be a facet and not t the focus of the story. it'd be like gay textmporn where the only fetish is that 'it's two guys fucking' and the story relies entirely on the 'taboo' of two guys fucking

>>6730237
I think that we're both trying to say the same thing and just arguing past each other. We probably have the same opinion, but it's too hard to tell from the string of replies, particularly considering how long this discussion has been going on

>>6730276
I like to break in occasionally just to make sure nobody's quite certain who they're arguing with.

>>6730295
It's a great pastime. I don't do it here because I care about these threads, but it's a whole lot of fun in the shittier generals.

>>6730312
Let's be honest, nothing of worth is being debated here today. This is an argument over literally nothing if I ever saw one.

>>6730338
No, that's a pretty good assessment. This is pretty much inevitable considering our recently expanded operating hours. I don't particularly mind, I'm just careful to keep the idiocy from carrying on when anything productive might be happening. Wednesday evening is pretty much free game for whatever, though.

>>6730338
I think it's a pretty worthwhile argument personally.

>>6730342
It was when it started, but I'm pretty sure we already aired out all the worthwhile arguments a while ago. If this is going to go any further, we're going to need more stories to be able to point to and discuss. Otherwise, it's just going to sit in "this is usually terrible but can probably be good" territory.

>>6729947
>http://pastebin.com/7mDED62P
Very nice. You didnt go much into detail on how they were joined, but you made up for it with a very very good lemon scene.

>>6729947
Original requester here, you took my dream, and made it a reality, and for that, i can die happy. I was given two more months, and this was the final thing on my list. It is just how i imagined, and for that, i thank you.

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>>6729744
Well it involves our sister walking in on a chaos ritual and one thing leads to another.

>>6729765
That sounds challenging yet interesting, can we discuss over email? ([email protected])

>>6730033
Not yet, but probably haha.

Ohey we're at bump limit already.

>>6729751
>dominant connotation of a penis
Only from a patriarchal standpoint. There's nothing inherently dominant about penises. You'd understand that if you were into /gfd/.

>>6730016
It's way better than having single fetish obsessed writefags or ones that delve into so many extreme fetishes in the same fic that you have to like them all to not be repulsed.

>>6730187
>>6730172
Futa allows for heterosexual sex acts without any actual males. For me, that's the point of it.

>>6730517
try "Loquella". Means 'tongue' in latin.

>>6730530
Loquella means speech. Lingua means tongue. It also means language. Try another language. Hopefully you'll also use a better dictionary.

>>6729497
For a rough draft, that was pretty damn good. Few notes:

>Action moved kinda fast. I get that there's little point on setting up a huge scene for a first go, but I felt kinda like I was reading a plot to a silly porno. This is not a bad thing.
>You might want to emphasize the first penetration more, I actually had to double back to make sure they weren't still doing foreplay.
>Be careful with the point of view, when everyone's a dude using "he" too much can get confusing.

I like it! Make sure you post it to the master list when you've dusted it up a bit.

>>6729497
(Ificancontributesomething)
I enjoyed it! It seemed very corny and fun. >>6730384
Thank you! What would you improve? I reread it and found some places i missed grammar or words...

>>6730404
I'm sorry...i am glad you are happy with it though.

>>6730404
Ah, shit, sorry to hear that anon. What is it?Cancer?

>>6729700
>you're still several steps above most of the engineers I proofread for.
That's probably a good thing? Either way, thanks a tonne for reading and responding. I'll post the next section along with the edit next time, so if you do read it again, it's not the exact same shit. Still futa though, but seeing this thread's reaction, I'll try do some work into tying it into the setting a little better.

>>6731190
I don't think that many people are going to be offended by devils being magical dickgirls, though. Most of that discussion was over character reactions, mostly that there is no justification for futas existing and the characters never seemed to react. I'm pretty sure that in your case, futa is several levels below "holy fuck, a demon".

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>>6731377
>I don't think that many people are going to be offended by devils being magical dickgirls, though.

Personally I'll admit to this bugging me a little bit, because it feels like a wasted opportunity to include an Incubus instead, which are woefully underrepresented compared to the number of Succubi (regular or futanari) in porn. But at the end of the day, people should write/draw what they like, rather than trying to please an audience.

>>6731390
Technically, succubi with magical dicks are incubi. Many of the original legends claimed that they were the same beast, just glamoured one way or another or with transformative capabilities. I guess you could probably call it whatever you want.

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>>6731401
I think she just means dude-looking dudes with dude dicks. Some of us like dudes. With dicks. Erotically. And they are woefully underrepresented in my opinion, especially incubi.

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>>6731647
>>6731390

I concur, that would be nice.

>>6731647
>>6731687
You want dudes who look like dudes AND have dicks? You're asking way too much for this board. At best, you're gonna get 2/3.

>>6731687
>>6731647

You need to give him at least another dick. Regular guys with large and/or animal genitals are too vanilla for /d/.

>>6731390
>which are woefully underrepresented compared to the number of Succubi (regular or futanari) in porn.
I feel that, despite many many many shitposters arguing otherwise, this is because futa isn't actually gay and there's a lot to work with by making the straight pairing even straighter in a sense. By removing the dude. And if you have the option to have one girl with a dick fucking another girl, there's no reason to even have a guy, unless you specifically want the male form for some reason, be it your sexuality or perhaps to use the body to express some other theme, like using the body of, say, a werewolf to express a bestial nature.

>>6732103

>futa isn't gay

okay but banging / getting banged by a chick with a dick isn't straight either

it's not like porn is black / white, either gay or straight

>>6732108
Sure, but I wasn't talking about futa on male or male on futa. If you're just going to be giving it the dick there's no reason for it to have a dick too. I'm just talking about the "straight" pairing of male on female and saying there's literally no reason, if you're into chicks, for the dude to not also be a chick. But if you wanna fuck a chick who also has a dick you're right, you're not as gay as wanting to fuck a dude, but at least straddling bi territory.

But then it gets iffy, the more normal the fetish becomes to you. Personally I no longer see the dick as an inherently masculine trait and simply just as another erogenous zone. Masculinity comes in the rigid musculature, lack of curves and hard, handsome face, now.

>>6730821
Heart problems. The heart and almost all of the tissue around it is failing.

>>6732132
Your argument is that it's "more straight" because you don't have to look at a male body? Despite the fact that the more women, or psuedo-women, in the picture, the closer it becomes to lesbianism, which is by definition not straight?

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being into futa, but for the love of god drop the absurd attempts at trying to claim it's somehow "more straight" than a simple hetrosexual pairing.

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>>6732244
>>6732132

Every time I hear this argument, I think of this post. Relevant or not, it's at least an attempt at rational logic.

>>6732267
>all this claptrap attempting to justify a fetish

It's a fetish. You don't HAVE to justify it unless you want to look massively insecure. If someone doesn't like it, that's not your problem unless you want it to be.

I don't like futa, but that doesn't make me gay or straight or anything. It just means I find futa to be an undesirable fetish, and armchair psychologists like the fag in your pic will only hurt themselves.

>>6732132

That sounds really insecure brah.