Christian cartoons

Moral Orel

>>95249850
>cartoon
>posts /a/

>>95249850
VeggieTales, the old ones at least. Haven't watched that new series.

>>95249850
Veggie Tales. It's the only one that's both good and popular.

>>95249927
It's still considered a cartoon. DuckTales was also animated in Japan, don'cha know.

>>95249945
This. If you grew up in a heavily Christian community in the 90's or early 2000's, you watched Veggie Tales. It was on VHS in your school, in your Sunday school, at people's houses, just everywhere. It was funny. It was just cheeky enough. It was silly. It just barely avoided dropping the anvil too hard. And it was actually breddy gud.

>>95250057
Some of the people from Big Idea Productions who worked on the show went to my church when I was little. They were all good natured, family men with good senses of humor and well liked by people of all kinds. You can kind of see how they managed to make a product that could appeal to such a wide audience.

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>>95249927
It's a sad day when we can't talk about cartoons like Grimm's Fairytale Classics.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBzlKHMwK6Q

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>>95250142
I remember watching this on VHS when I was a wee lad at my aunt's house. Specifically it was the Red Riding Hood one. The ending fucked me up where the wolf was cut open then had Rocks stuffed inside him and drowned. Yes I know that was in the original stories now, but I didn't at the time and I was just a babby then.

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This was peak bible kino except for fucking moki

>>95250266
You don't look like much of a baby to me, Jose

>>95250266
Yeah old fairy tales can get real. I thought stuff like that was awesome as a kid though.

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>>95250320
Christian waifu, best waifu

>>95249850
VeggieTales is objectively the best of the lot.

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>>95250362
Mary was such a milf unf

>>95249850
The Prince of Egypt, easily.

>>95250463
Good choice, anon, forgot that one counts.

>>95250463
We have a winner ladies and gentlemen.

The Prince of Egypt is a good movie even if you're full blown fedora

Most children's movies have a clear good/evil distinction that is at least loosely based on Abrahamic morals, though. A better question would be "What are some obviously blasphemous cartoons for children that distinctly mock Christian values?"

And that encompasses anything like with pagan themes like How to Train Your Dragon, witchcraft (ie Kiki's Delivery Service), but not Steven Universe because there is no male homosexuality.

>>95250422
>kills people without hesitation in old testament
>becomes love in new testament
Mary was probably the greatest fuck in the multiverse to make God mellow the fuck out

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>>95250540
Well put. In the end however all these cartoons are all tools of the devil. Bombarding our eyes and ears with mind numbing images from an empty box. Any time spent wallowing in these petty distractions is time that could instead be spent in solemn contemplative prayer.

>>95249850
>most successful
VeggieTales. There's probably so much money in that shit.

>best
I'm not sure because I haven't seen it all, even though Christianity and cartoons are probably my two biggest interests and I even want to make what could be described as a "Christian cartoon" one day.

Prince of Egypt is great, and Secret of Kells is my second favorite animated film of all time. I need to watch Tragedy of Man sometime; it looks like an animated Bergman movie.

>>95250742
Does pic related count as an animated Christian movie?

>>95250769
Good insight and also good on you anon, I hope you end up achieving that goal one day.

the neverhoods pretty good, does that count

>>95250776
>french
>christians
The french are demons that is only good for being targets for archery practice

>>95250922
>literally several walls of text

>>95251138
hey, ever READ the bible?

>>95250266
There's also another one called Tales of Magic and Merlin's Cave that was Anime. That version of Red Riding Hood didn't have the wolf died, but have a cuckoo clock in his stomach instead.

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Obligatory for these threads now, because I swear I'm the only one who remembers it.

Flying House. It's like Superbook, but with a bad-ass theme song and a Mad Scientist.

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>>95249850
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2jJexGl5Cc

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>>95251091
t. Englishman

>>95249850
not aware of any, but Superbook was all of my jam
i'm finally watching mysterious cities of gold, and i'm hearing so many of those same voices.

>>95250057
rob paulsen has a lot of respect for veggietales. he says it never hits anyone over the head
i always just found it dumb, mildly amusing.
the nicest thing i recall was this video called 'ben and eddie's first christmas' with a cute fucking dog puppet in it owned by a not-sinbad

>>95250463
shit I forgot about that too. That counts!
it pays when your religion is the Sonic & Knuckles in Sonic 3 & Knuckles. It's sad how few people understand the lock-on technology inherent in our faith. All those people throughout history who are like "oh, we don't, uh, we don't celebrate super emeralds.." and other people who refuse to ever hum the original Knuckles leitmotif. It's like, you guys, it's the same game. It just didn't all come out at once. Now if you personally don't like mushroom hill zone and you're happy stopping at launch base, that's cool. we can coexist. but those of you who have this bizarre attitude that sonic 3 doesn't matter, you need to take another look past your own nose and what the pope says

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what, does 3,2,1,Penguins! count? Nobody ever talks about it, but it was actually pretty god-tier

>>95254246
It really was.

>>95250720
good lord, those "violent men calm the fuck down after a good fuck" stories now have religious precedence?

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>>95254390
The oldest written story has a wildman fuck a temple whore for seven straight nights and then become a civilized person after the animals no longer wanted part of him. How is this news?

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I can't believe we got this far into the thread without this being posted.

>>95254601
Enkidu was a real nigga desu. I wish I had a friend as good as Enkidu

>>95254621
>I saw this in the catalog and didn't actually read the thread

>>95250720
gross oversimplification, but a common one

>>95254601
more of God trumps Enkidu in importance.

that and his bromance with Gilgamesh might give people the wrong idea ("she banged a straight wild man into a civilized gay guy").

>>95254621
already posted several times. just no images.

>>95254704
>have an ogre at your mercy
>just asks you spare him
>he will help you cut the trees
>he also works for the gods and killing him will piss them off
>lol no
>kill him for reasons
Enkidu was a bro but really stupid. Not that Gilgamesh was better but at least he didn't really have a choice between the yandere fertility goddess who's vagina is cursed and having her run to her dad after you tell her to fuck off.

>>95254818
>they're close so they're gay
this is why people are depressed and alone

>>95254907
There's a line between respectfully turning down an advance and straight roasting a goddess

>>95255019
this, Gilgamesh was just a savage dude, Enkidu was honestly the only person he cared about

>>95254907
>>95255114

gods gave gilgamesh enkidu to be his friend so gil will stop cucking his citizens on their wedding night.

worked too well.

>>95255229
So, does the arrival of Enkidu serve as a metaphor for the creation of social order/civilization?

>>95252019
I couldn't tell the difference between Superbook and Flying House as a kid. I knew they were both Christian and saw them both as inferior and interchangeable so I never cared. Maybe I was wrong.

>>95255229
that was just an example of him being a dick, not the sole reason why the gods decided to make Enkidu, trust me, if shit was gay they would have outright said it.

>>95255283
Does that make the sexual taming the deliverance of electricity?

Or pornography?

>>95255421
true (more of boredom rather than outright lust).

basically enkidu = keep gil busy doing quests

wait is the epic of gilgamesh basically sumerian adventure time?

>>95255421
This, especially since part of the reason they created Enkidu to challenge Gilgamesh is because Gil was going around raping his citizens. male and female

>>95250720
>tfw god literally cucked you out of your waifu
FUCKING CHADGOD REEEEEEEE

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>>95255569
This makes WAY more sense than it should

>>95255569
>>95255633
Not really, the two man fable is older than the epic and Enkidu and Gilgamesh were pretty similar in temperament

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>>95250266
I used to have that vhs nigga, shit was spooky. The story about the sister whos brothers turned to swans, hansel gretel, the boy with the magic cloth. All of those stories were spooky.

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>>95257197
I remember the swan one. Didn't they get killed too? Man what the fuck.

>>95257298
No if i remember they return to normal when there sister was gonna get executed. The witch somehow burn herself to death.

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No one has mentioned this one. I thought it was bretty good

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>>95250320
>>95250362
>>95250362
>>95250422
Consumatum Est

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9acWybkJBOg&t=543s

>>95257785
>days without jewish tricks:0.mp3

>>95254209
What is S3C then?

>God gives you a new language to preach his word to a foreign land.
>That language is Kung Fu.

>>95250720
Haven't gotten to revelations yet

>>95255229
No, the citizens prayed to the gods for someone like Enkidu to fuck Giglamesh's shit up but they just became bros instead and fucked the God's favorite monsters up

>>95255283
No Gilgamesh was a king who lived in a bigass palace in a city before enkidu existed
Please read the fucking story it's basically the template for every Superhero team up

>>95260375
Revelations isn't canon though.

>>95260400
they still had to answer those prayers.

ok, so umar banged the hulk that he turns into banner and can't hulk out for quite a while (she fucked the anger out of the hulk).
shamhat takes enkidu's virginity and he gets a week long erection.

sounds like a three-way with umar and shamhat would cause the universe to collapse onto itself.

>>95254246
Wasn't that also the veggietales guys? Makes sense it was good then

>>95255295
>>95252019
Yeah, I thought Flying House was Super Book.

>>95250463
Most well-made, sure. Most successful, no. That goes to Veggie Tales.

>>95251138
Did you read it though? It's pretty good. Most of it at least.
>An entire section that mimics the book of Numbers
Most of it.

>>95257693
Only saw the cartoon once, but damn I listened to the radio show every single night. Shit was good. Actually, if I recall, most of the stories had nothing to do with religion and usually just had some kind of lesson thrown in at the end.

>>95257693
Always struck me as inspired by Duck Tales, even had a Gyro like scientist character. I haven't seen it since I was a kid though, that's just what I thought at the time.