Create your own Ennis character

Ultrapragmatic Jaded War Vet with a bitter sense of humor and a beard

>>95118371
The beard and bitter sense of humor is throwing me off

Penislobes. His earlobes are cocks.

>>95118267
Obese pedophile with acne, edgy backstory and deformed micropenis. Has van with 'free molestation' painted in little girls' hymen blood.

Is that Ennis enough?

Cold, distant, ruthless, brutal and cynical female spec ops commando who still holds a tiny bit of idealism deep inside her. Is best friends with a tightly-knit band of weirdos, psychos, goofballs and national stereotypes who still somehow manage to be terribly endearing. Has to fight an incestuous brother/sister couple of sadistic fucks who enjoy having sex on top of the corpses of their victims and are also probably secret nazis.

r/atheism/

>>95118267
A ENGLISH MAN WITH BEARD BLACK HAIR ,LONG HAIR , WITH A SHOTGUN AND ONIONS
HIS NAME IS FRANK

>>95119048
what are your fees?

Former British SAS with beard, 10 inch penis, can fly an F-16, M1Abrmas, Eurofighter Typhoon, Airborne, Air assault Ranger qualified. Who uses his Englishness to defeat the big bad American former army crazy guy that got crazy from eating innocent 3rd world children.

Is that Ennis enough. Did I mention he was also a former British Marine?

>>95120043
An old slimey whore on a new shiny floor.

Simon Pegg

>>95121426
Simon Pegg with AIDS and missing a leg because it got eaten by gorillas and the stump looks somewhat like a penis.

>>95120092
Done.

>>95119692
This but without fedora attire, preferably also a Marine.

A British man who always talks about how Americans are stupid and inferior, also theres gore and something something penis

6'6" muscular black dude. Who by all initial appearance and interaction is a common thug, but is actually for more deadly an intelligent than he looks.

He will match at least 3 stereotypes, subvert 2 of them. You will know whether he is a good or bad guy by the first 5 pages with him.

Russian cold war veteran willing to do whatever it takes to gain victory usually with somewhat outlandish or unorthodox tactics and genius use of outdated technology. Permanent Judge Dredd frown.

MingeGut a man with a minge for a bellybutton.

>>95120084
>Did I mention he was also a former British Marine?

You mean you couldnt remember something you wrote only one minute before you submitted it? A simple glance at what you wrote before you submitted it would have answered that question before you wrote it. It should have been exceedingly obvious.

>>95122039
Its always hilarious when someone misses the joke so hard they get angry and start ranting at people. Just keep digging, I'm sure the deeper you are the more likely you'll be able to catch jokes flying over your head.

>>95122056

Jokes are supposed to be funny.

Niggerman.

Like kinda tall and has a nice suit but it's revealed its bullet proof because fuck you
He does enough coke and goes berserk on randos in his gang or something maybe they're civilians i dont even know also he rapes a love interest of frank in one story because e n n i s

also would like him to shoot a kid up with krokodil or some other shit because itd be FRANKCORE

also has protitues but is obviously a madman and just flat out keeps them around to rape one and beat the other one up but theyre too scared to leave because he's a big goy

>>95118267
Rapehat, the ultimate soldier cape-killing machine from Belfast. His superpower is being smug and hate of the supernatural. His cocks can also shoot literal cursewords, which pierce through literal faggots

>>95119075
That doesn't sound ennis enough. Add some arrogance and smug, also, chop her tits, so she will have some tragic backstory

>>95121542
loled

My Ennis character would be named Garth Pennis.

He would be a nice, polite character, who would resolve conflicts through wits, rather than violence. He would also like super-hero comics, because they would represent idealism of USA and the values, we should strive for. He would also dislike edgy manchild writers, who are obsessed over war stories, despite not being soldier ever, and with a distaste for guns, who bash actual creators, like Kirby, who served as soldiers.

Wheels

Paraplegic American who was crippled during a failed helicopter evac in Afghanistan. His chair has 3 buttons, one to pour a beer, one to light a cigar, and one with a skull and crossbones on it (which he uses his middle finger to push) which makes guns pop out of the chair

>>95118267
Ultrapragmatic Jaded War Vet with a bitter sense of humor and a beard and a eyepatch.

>>95122743
Not good enough, where are the dicks?
I suggest adding another button, which shoots circumcised black dicks

>>95122752
With a big dick. Also, despite being a womanizer and treating women as sex objects, he despises sexists chauvinists

>>95122753
Wheels makes sure to tell everyone that his cock still works, and the boys have a good laugh watching him leap out of his chair and try to molest the waitress during a night out at the pub

My favorite thing about this thread is how easily you can tell the accurate ones that are actually funny apart from crossposter rejects whose knowledge of Ennis comes from seeing the horsecock page once.

Daddy The Horse.

He's literally just a horse. His penis is visible at all times. All women, no matter their preferences, want his cock.

Daddy The Horse speaks in narration boxes and laments the state of modern sexual openness and degeneracy.

>>95122771
That's more like muh Ennis! Good job.

>>95122774
And your mother is so ugly, that she makes arseface look like gigolo. And yes, she also has a DICK.

Dickweed
a redneck with scat obsession, member of KKK, in incestual relationship with his black half-brother. Has a wooden peg instead of a dick that was bitten off by his mother.

Donald Trump is a perfect Ennis character

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>>95118267

>>95119075
Sounds more like Ellis than Ennis desu.

>>95122852
oh fuck man, my sides.
where's this from?

>>95122844
It wasn't necessarily his mom but there are a lot of Rashomon-style flashbacks implicating everyone in the cast.

Spoiler: he bit it off himself in a freak combine harvester accident.

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>>95122855
I jus' want more Bloody Mary. Or Bloody Mary-ish.

>>95122993
Bloodier Maggie
A reincarnated Margaret Thatcher zombie
Who likes to dis-member people

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>>95122898
"A Night 2 Remember", from 2000AD prog 1280.
Fun story: this page was actually written by Ennis.

>>95123012
... fuck, I'd read that too. Especially if he brings John McCrea with him.

>>95118267
Aggressively gay, veteran Russian special forces combat engineer. Former Spetnaz cocksucking champion. Sexually aroused by Stalin and Stalin memorabilia. Has a name like Pushkzi that Americans can pronounce like a swearword. Blows up Russian Orthodox churches in his spare time with a gang of Russian anarchists, who he ultimately tricks into a false flag operation where they all die to serve his own ends.

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>>95122039
Jesus fucking Christ this is advanced aspergers

>>95118267
I get the sense that Mama Ennis sucked a lot of dick on the streets of Ulster.

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>>95118267
Ed Wuncler the 1st, except he's the pope.

>>95118267
Source please?

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>>95125681
The first Nick Fury MAX mini.

>>95125781
Ty, m8, have a guiness.

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>>95125829
'ta, m8.

>>95119075
>Cold, distant, ruthless, brutal and cynical female spec ops commando who still holds a tiny bit of idealism deep inside her. Is best friends with a tightly-knit band of weirdos, psychos, goofballs and national stereotypes who still somehow manage to be terribly endearing. Has to fight an incestuous brother/sister couple of sadistic fucks who enjoy having sex on top of the corpses of their victims and are also probably secret nazis.

Is she the love interest to the male lead?

>>95122850
>Donald Trump is a perfect Ennis character

Pee tape is way too tame though

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>>95125929
Nah, I just want Bloody Mary 3.

>>95125951
Incest could help. Daddy on Donald, Donald on (at least) Ivanka.