How do we fix the GI Joe franchise?

>>95014731
create a time machine that turns time back to the 80s
have them air the gi joe movie first (suck it prime!)

>>95014731
Wait for the PC hugbox phase in the industry to end and then reintroduce it in all its campy, violent glory.

>>95014731
Bring back Renegades or make another G.I. Joe cartoon with an ongoing story.

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Make it like this maybe. Both sides not just the joes

>>95014731
I like mask Cobra Commander better then helmet Commander

You can't. The globetrotting teams of superhero operators are the purview of Tom Clancy video games and Jason Bourne knockoffs now.

Wacky military shit doesn't really sell anymore. People want the grit, even if it's dumb gory grit.

>People hate the military
>People are sick of terrorists
>Too many white males, Snake Eyes in particular would cause a riot among cultural appropriation retards

The only way to fix it is to go back to the 80s and 90s.

Make it like Overwatch. Not even memeing. Take some cues from Overwatch. Kids love that game, and it's a bunch of wacky soldiers fighting other wacky soldiers.

>>95014731
As possibly the biggest G.I. Joe fan on /co/, I hate to say this, but... you don't. It's too late. That ship has sailed.

Copy the fuck out of COD, except zanier.

>Gaijin Joes

>>95014731
>How do we fix the GI Joe franchise?
Get Michael Bay to direct a film.

>>95014731
That design was awesome. I don't get why they didn't get Charlie Adler for the voice.

>>95014731
The problem with the movies is that Cobra never really seems like they are a plausible threat that requires a multinational counter terrorist force to stop. Take the cartoons, Cobra was a fully equipped and trained military force that caused Gi Joe trouble till they figured out a way to defeat them. In the movies they have these grandiose plans but you don't see major battles or Cobra troops in the streets in force.

Show me a Cobra that wrecks shit and has tons of over the top specialized soldiers and show me a violent clash between them and Gi Joe. The reason the transformers movies worked generally was they felt quite close to the source material and feel of it.

Just make it like the Fast and Furious movies except with the military and highly specialized international counter terrorism operations, which is somewhat what those movies have slowly become.

>>95014772
Pretty much this. So basically never.

Playing up the secret society angle might work for a serious series.

>>95016270
Literally the only smart person that actually has half a brain in this entire fucking thread.
You FUCKING RETARDS.
OVERWATCH IS LITERALLY MODERN GI JOE IN VIDEO GAME FORM.
It's so fucking obvious and only one person figured it out, what the fuck /co/.

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>>95014731
Supplant it with its vastly-superior British counterpart, Action Man.

Seriously, I didn't even know what GI Joe was until later in life, and aside from the bigger roster of cooler-looking villains and ninjas, I don't see the appeal.

>>95015546
I can't stand those designs. Everyone has little squinty eyes and big noses.

>>95017860
The aesthetics took some getting used to, but I ended up liking the A-Team vs. Umbrella Corporation quite a bit.

>>95016270
>Make it like Overwatch.
>it's a bunch of wacky soldiers fighting other wacky soldiers.
I mean, I'll admit that I actually play the game but fuck, how did I not notice this before? Overwatch is already wacky while still have serious tones, it's practically the same kind of formula as GI Joe.

>>95018249
Soldier 76 is pretty much based off of Duke

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Cobra vs. Nod
Which faction wins?

>>95014772
Or we could do that now to accelerate the ending of said PC hugbox phase.

Kids love campy violence. Look at the number of underage tots gleefully swearing at you on any given CoD/Halo/Overwatch server. It's like the easiest sell ever.

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>>95016543
>The reason the transformers movies worked generally was they felt quite close to the source material and feel of it.

>>95014731
>How do we fix the GI Joe franchise?

By taking it behind the shed and Old Yellering it.

>>95014731

Go full force Cobra-La.

Not even memeing, if you want GI Joe to be a thing again all the old Hama fags need to take their semi-realistic military fantasy and shove it up their ass.

Cobra needs to be Cthulu ancient snake men invading earth from the hollow Earth or something, and GI Joe need to be Overwatch. So more wacky ninjas and gorrilas less Dukes.

The moment you try and do the "Cobra are terrorists and GI Joes are MURRICA FUCK YEAH MURRICA MILITARY FUCK YEA" you're dead.

Or just make GI Joe be the Chinese military and watch all the money in the world flow to your bank account.

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>>95014731
Make Scarlett porn?

>>95015546
Bring it back

I think GI Joe is beyond saving at this stage. Everyone that would watch it is so anti-america/anit-the-establisment right now.

Renegades had the right idea with the little guy vs the secretly-evil-governement/corporation. Another reboot like that might work.

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If people hate military so much and terrorists nowadays should it be changed into spy agency/freelance mercenary heroes?

Cobra corporation(like from Renegades) is also a good idea

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>>95017860
This

Resolute done it better but it was too animeish

Only Sunbow done it right
fuck DiC

>>95020388
Make Cobra both extreme left and right groups teaming up to make a utopian society

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>>95016270
Well you have a right

>>95019493
I'm legitimately surprised that there apparently isn't a G.I. Joe porn parody.

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>>95020712
G.I. Hoes?

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>>95020434
But that's what original Cobra is

>>95015847
The helmet is cooler

>>95016270
This. I've been thinking now for awhile that Overwatch is basically G.I. Joe but with the power levels turned way up.

>>95018793
My money is on Cobra, a last second double sweve from Destro causes the joes to blow up cobra AND nod, but allows cobra to escape with a huge pile of treasure.

GI Joe
>a group of para military operators serving secretly through the intelligence services of multiple nations. founded in ww2. when a group of german officers discovered someone was pulling the strings of the nazi party, fascist italy, communist russia, imperial japan, and the united states. they managed to get soviet, american, english, french, japanese, chinese, and italian operatives together into an unofficial task force. they couldn't stop the war. though they did gather evidence and get a few head figures from the shadow organization. the code name GI Joe was picked because it was the name of the main character in american soldier comic books printed out to instruct soldiers on use and care of their equipment. expanding during the cold war, secretly funded through the UN as an agricultural aid program. they secretly recruited from nearly every nation. trying to keep the peace and prevent nuclear war.

Cobra
>secretly founded in mid 1800s British India by an English aristocrat. Membership of aristocrats and industrialists from all over the world. Original goal was to get their organization to be the power behind the power of any nation that mattered. To protect their own interests. Though failures and the collapse of empires from ww1 changed their goals and policy. When the original Cobra Commander overthrew the ruling council and made him self leader. No one knows the identity of this cobra commander, or any of the subsequent ones. Now Cobra was dedicated to direct world dominance. through the spread of strife, chaos, poverty, and war. they also have legitimate fronts. Major multinational corporations, charitable foundations, progressive non government organizations, and even the UN was their idea. If anyone looked at their members. all they would see are a bunch of wealthy and connected people getting together to talk about spreading democracy, equality, and ending poverty. they have their own paramilitary groups.

>>95022199
>cobra's paramilitary groups are for when direct action is needed, because a proxy cannot be duped into action. if caught they are impossible to tie to Cobra. unless you know the specific frequency of UV light that will make their tattoo glow.

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>>95020761

>>95019019
Its not about what the kids want. Its about what their parents want them to want. And this generation of parents is a bunch of faggots who take fun for granted and want the TV to teach their child how to be a better person first and foremost while they watch adult cartoons

>>95024891
Which is why it's exactly time to stop listening to them.

My parents were whiny religious buzzkills who mercifully mellowed out on the fire and brimstone as I got older, but that didn't stop me from finding ways to watch all the cartoons they hated for being "violent and immoral" and films like Robocop, Terminator and Alien before my eighth birthday.

>>95015546
is that some random HD screen or is it available by "questionable" sources?

>>95025047
*tips fedora*

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>>95020938
Road hog?

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I like the idea from Renegades that Serpentor was just CC's pet cobra

>Combined historical leaders into one being that wears halloween costume
Damn what a stupid idea it was
What they were thinking?
Do people back then even like Serpentor?

>>95014731
Like with most stuff, the answer is to go back to its roots. Unapologetic hamminess and sexiness. Over the top.

>>95014731
> make Cobra Commander sexy
> give him 5 minutes of screentime

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>>95027933
The first basic Gijoe toyline and comic series were great and then stuff went weirder and weirder

>>95025375
He's right though. The people running screaming away from the "toxic violence and masculinity" of 80s and 90s cartoons aren't kids but their suddenly self righteous and holier than thou parents. You think the average kid these days doesn't watch violent anime or adult swim style shows in between cursing eachother out over voice chat? This while their parents claim that no kid is interested in that kind of thing being included in their cute wholesome entertainment and GI Joe lasers would normalize aggression and violence in their innocent little minds. Its bullshit.

Since terrorism, specifically militant terrorism has become more of a touchy subject than simply "Villain Occupation" in media, it's next to impossible to get GI Joe back into the spotlight as it was back in the 80s, and that's not even getting into military depiction in this day and age.

Hell, even though Cobra was never a metaphor for any one nation or culture,.

I've mused about this before and the only thing I could think of that could *possibly* work is if Cobra was re-imagined as either alien invaders, or humans who sold out to aliens/found alien tech in their back yard and the Joes are over-the-top a la Overwatch as people have said. If it feels like Cobra is more of an invasive force from outer space (Blue drop ships, BAT robot armies and such) then at least you have a literal enemy of the entire world and a few rando humans as the bad guys opposed to something someone could legit take offense at, especially if GI Joe keeps up its mutilcutural-but-military aesthetic.

Go full retard with Infowars-type conspiracies in the plot. Cobra and GI Joe are both funded by international elites to ramp up the war on terrorism, paralyze the masses with violence and fear, and justify the establishment and expansion of a global political state. Cobra and Joe agents come to realize that everyone is getting played.

>>95014731
FUCKING TURKEY DINNER!

>>95016270
When you give it some thought, Overwatch is basically GI Joe
It's weird

Just make GIJOE into an American version of UNIT from Doctor Who, complete with the wackyness from the 80's show.

GIJOE is who you call in when things are just too WEIRD for DELTA/SEALS/Green Berets like....

animal mind control devices,
giant booby trapped funhouses
giant mutant fruits
ghosts
Cobra trying to recreate dinosaurs.

These were plots from actual episodes of the classic cartoon.

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>>95015847
>>95020886
>not mixing the mask and helmet together

plebs, the lot of ya

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>>95016528
Reminder that they didn't want Firefly to have a mask and based Ray Stevenson brought his own

>>95020651
>Soldier 76
>Snake Eyes
>Not Genji
I mean for god's sake, he's the only ninja in the game.

>>95014731
Just make a continuation of Resolute, that shit was so cash.

>>95014772
nerds always cry about PC nazis taking the fun out of everything, yet there are more action movies, more violent video games, and more dark anti-hero tv shows every year. I really wish you tender princesses would shut up.

a better question is why GI Joe isn't working. the movies help nothing, but the last few cartoons have been pretty good. why is it that Destiny, Call of Duty, and Titanfall are all successful games, but there is no GI Joe game? and those things could all be GI Joe!

in fact, there are enough Joes, that you could tell almost any story with them! Uncharted style ruin crawling? Joes have done that. weird sci-fi experiments? check. parachuting out of space behind enemy lines for some James Bond spy capers? done and done.

I wonder if the only problem with the GI Joe property is just the name

>>95029025
People don't like giant corporations nowadays, make Cobra a corporate entity that does some decidedly bad things on international soil. The big twist can be that their paramilitary actions in places like Brazil, Thailand, the horn of Africa, etc are actually being encouraged and funded under the table by elements of the US government and the alphabet agencies, so after the first season GI Joe is forced to become an independent entity to tackle both.

Show can have some educational content crowbarred in by attempting to make its depictions of foreign cultures as accurate as possible.

>>95016248
where do you get that people hate the military? there are ultra liberals who do, but those people are as rare as the ultra conservatives who want to literally build a border wall.

I think the problem is too much connection to real world events. we are too aware of the fallout of military adventurism. we have seen too many scenes of civilians getting crushed under rubble or filled with shrapnel from bombs falling on the wrong targets.

GI Joe would have to either go hard on the sci-fi capers and nonsense, or go hard with the real world implications. either set Cobra up as cartoon villains with tons of cool weapons and android soldiers to shoot, or blend in real scenarios and tell some human stories of people involved in the conflict. personally, I go with the latter. everyone knows someone who was in the military. everyone knows how fascinating, and frightening that can be. do those people some justice

>>95030515
resolute was fucking atrocious

>>95016628
I like this idea. the Joe movies were a little bit like this. The first one was stupid as shit, and the second one had too small of a budget. there is a balancing act that only works when you get a guy with a vision, and movie companies are too scared of risk to let that happen

>>95029912
Seriously? Based Stevenson.

That mask really worked. I hate movies that are too scared to just do the costumes and go all out. That's part of the appeal in the first place.

Did anyone else think Cobra Commander was the coolest as a kid?

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>>95030797
You're fucking atrocious

>>95031051
>as a kid

He's still the coolest.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TDOXM6_AzZk

I would love a movie that capitalizes on Commander's talent at methodical planning.

>>95030721
that was basically the set up of Renegades. Which, by the way, is fucking brilliant. A corporation would have its fingers in lots of pie: weapons development, destabilizing poor nations for access to cheap natural resources, currency manipulation, mercenary armies, corporate espionage. all the shit that is legitimately fucking up our world, and is hard for the little guy to have any effect on. now, make the Joes ordinary soldiers, and we have this wonderful metaphor of the futility of trying to shoot your way out of problems that people in power are perfectly happy to leave in place. lots of paranoia and conspiracy theories. characters from all over the toyline popping in for single episode appearances...

Why did that show die, anyway? was it just a casualty of the Hub channel going down, or did it actively not sell toys?

>>95031059
>likes gi joe all style and no substance
>proceeds to post samurai jack reaction image

well, this is making a lot of sense.

>>95031046
>"During production of the film the character was not supposed to wear his trademark camouflaged mask, but Stevenson, who researched the character and became a fan of the original Firefly, lobbied to be shown wearing it in some scenes."

>>95027753
Larry Hama hated Serpentor.

Buzz Dixon and most of the writers for the cartoon hated Serpentor.

>>95031279
I always hated Serpentor. Maybe if he was an actual snake man instead of an idiot in a snake costume, he would have worked.

>>95027753
possibly my favorite gi joe character.
i'd like to see a show in a metal gear solid meets jack kirby kind of direction.

they'll never let me write for this franchise.

>>95029868
Sigma 6 a shit.

>>95031279

So why did it take the cartoon longer to kick him out unlike the comics?

>>95031296
I never got why in the cartoon everyone decided to side with him over the Commander.

Why work with a hot headed idiot and not the man (or serpent) that started the whole organization?

>>95031427
Hasbro wanted to sell more toys.

>>95031151
Mix of merchandizing, the live action movies being lackluster, and the hub's constant shuffling

>>95031442
I get Mindbender and Destros preference but every else....well everybody's a backstabby motherfucker at Cobra. CC needed a loyalist. I wish Major Bludd got to be that, while not to bright and quite unlucky in some of the mini series he seemed pretty loyal and devoted.

Also I'd love to have Metalhead from the DIC series become a major character again.

>>95027753
I like the idea of Serpentor being a genetic experimentation on making a biological superman, who then takes over Commander's spot by force.

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>>95031377
I agree, but most of the Cobra designs were based

look at this fucker

>>95030732
>ultra liberals hate the military
it's not just liberals, it's basically anyone who's done a shred of research that knows all the wars are for corporate profit and the troops don't actually protect rights. example: the nazi war machine owed its existence to u.s. corporations

>>95031442
they saw CC as a buffoon and saw serpentor as some sort of leader that would make cobra good again?

basically it's every election ever. incumbent is seen as ineffective, potential new guy is seen as a saviour. either the new guy lives up to the hype or not. you just have to install him to power to know exactly which though.

>>95032689
Seemed odd for Baroness and Zartan to not back Commander up.

>>95030732
can't we just suspend our belief? it's fiction, maybe it's set in a universe where the US actually is the "big good guys"

>>95020426
Is this the one that only had like 5 voice actors in it?

>>95033741
Zartan goes where the money is. Serpentor in charge and with Destro backing him means that's where the money goes.

Baroness sided with the Commander in Dragonfire didn't she?

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>>95033823
Yes

>>95033880
>whole cartoon is 3-4 joes fighting waves of disposable cobra troops

it's god awful, and I can't believe people praised the shit out of it because "OMG BLOOD IS KEWL"

>>95033892
>Instead of just making Commander manipulative and intimidating, they pull the "I was only pretending to be retarded" card

>>95034052
but he blew up moscow!! and sliced some pansy as dude's neck with his sword!

yes whining and continuing to act like a petulant child is so intimidating

especially the part where he hid in his little glass bunker room when Duke came after him

>>95027753
Serpentor would be 100% scarier if you took away the costume. Put him in a suit, make him look professional- and keep the snake eyes. Maybe give him a snake tongue too, as long as he doesn't look like he belongs in Conan the Barbarian it's fine.

>>95034349
>ut him in a suit, make him look professional- and keep the snake eyes. Maybe give him a snake tongue too,

So Serpentor should be Dennis Hopper from the Mario Bros movie?

>>95032689
>CC needed a loyalist.

Always thought Sunbow Storm Shadow was loyal to CC. He barely appeared in the season Serpentor showed up in though.

>Also I'd love to have Metalhead from the DIC series become a major character again.

Metal Head was legitimately the best thing about the DIC seasons.

>>95034349
I think the colorful outfit thing would work, but there needs to be a bit more reasoning as to why it was chosen.

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>>95034565
He was still hanging out with Cobra Commander as he was trying to get someone to assassinate Serpentor.

>>95020426
>dat Rock n Roll, Flint, Tunnel Rat, Shipwreck Gung Ho and motherfucking best Joe Beachhead
god resolute had great character designs

>>95034700
That saw absolutely no use. Hope you enjoy Duke, Scarlett, Snake Eyes and no one else!

Stop defending that garbage

>>95020651
>Soldier 76
>Snake Eyes
Soldier is fucking Duke and Genji would be Snake Eyes. Tracer is Lady Jaye and D.Va would be Cover Girl. Pharah should be Bazooka Reinhardt should be Roadblock. I feel like Reaper would be Cobra Commander.

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>kawaii uguu oc donut steel

seriously FUCK Resolute, I cannot stress this hard enough.

>>95034349
He'dlook kind of plain like that next to CC and Destro. Joe bad guys should have panache.

>>95034736
except for that part where Gung-Ho, Beachhead, Stalker and Roadblock fought Destro and Baroness

>>95034809
That part was so terribly acted and written I must have repressed it

>>95034778
Dude, she was basically the GI Joe version of Chloe from 24. What's your problem?

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>>95034349
Custom figures without cobra costume look awesome

>>95031442
In comic it has more sense because Serpentor is charismatic and actually less asshole than Commander
but in cartoon he's just a screaming all the time jerk and a real asshole
who the would want to work for guy like this
especially bad guys who even in real life like to change job a lot because they don't like boss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUdmetykD6o

>>95033880
wow cobra troopers have worse aim than stormtroopers

>>95034850
she sucks, she's just cutesy waifu-bait with a pre-established character's name slapped on

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Give me one good reason why this design wouldn't have worked as Cobra Commander

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>>95035350
because it's fucking disgusting
CC has swag

>>95035350
>Over-complicated
>Has no sense of authority to the design
>Muh sleek black clothes as opposed to an actual uniform

>>95031427
because Hasbro loved the idea and young kids like it till they made the stupid ass movie, then it went downhill fast.

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>>95014731
>How do we fix the GI Joe franchise?

Toy Story for GI Joe, played straight by the toys, and the children manipulating them are invisible to them, with radical shifts between reality and the toys' delusions of existence.

> The episode where Cobra Commander finds himself in some strange alternate universe where he's restrained to a chair in front of a table set for tea time, but there's no actual tea in any of the cups and all the emotionless women at the table are deaf mutes who don't say or respond to anything.

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>>95035416
You don't get a good look at it in the movie, but I'm pretty sure his coat is /fa/
>>95035437
nigger it's a crazy science armor for breathing

and the retaliation cobra commander is just as generic with its black armor and jacket

the only movie cobra commander who has a proper military uniform is the toy version

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I also really liked the Destro movie design, even though I miss the pimp look

>>95036017
The Retaliation outfit at least feels distinctive and has an air of menace to it. ROC's is over complicated crap.

>>95036108
We didn't even get that, though, other than a brief glimpse.

>>95037066
Yeah, because Retaliation A SHIT

>throw away what doesn't work instead of fixing it

>>95037192
>>95037066
>>95036108

will we ever get a third movie about destro being the main action villain?

>>95037232
Directed by Michael Bay

yes pls

>>95037232

Destro got toasted m8.

>>95037192

I like Rise of Cobra more then Retaliation, but even I'm not retarded enough to defend ROC' CC design.

Retaliation's looked better.

>>95014772

>implying the PC hugbox doesn't love a violent, gory film

>implying tumblr doesn't adore gore horror
>implying cabin in the woods isn't extremely popular
>implying battle royale doesn't have a cult following
>implying american horror story isn't still followed despite the decrease in quality
>implying that the only good buddy cop movie, other than Zootropolis still don't understand the renamed , in the last 15 years wasn't Hot Fuzz, a gratuitously gory film
>implying Tarantino films don't still have quite a large following

>>95016248

>People hate the military

I don't hate the military; admittedly I loathe a lot of army brats and faux-chav cadets, but I don't hate the military as I've known a lot of decent recruits.

>>95016270

Overwatch is kinda missing a Cobra organisation though. Blackwatch haven't actually done anything for the most part, the main havoc has been caused by one skimpily dressed sniper and a guy with the after effects of a chronic masturbation problem.

Other than that, it's pretty spot on.

>>95033823
Nope 4 VAs.

Steve Blum
Charlie Adler
Grey DeLisle
Eric Bauza

>>95037502
they already soft rebooted once, it's not that much of a stretch they can do it again.

>>95037469
how should he be portrayed though? unless they do a retcon that he's a decent marksman, he won't be much of a physical threat.
his sit behind a desk and plan stuff routine from the first movie works though.

>>95014731
Let Larry Hama write everything.

>>95027017
>Birthplace: Goblu, Michigan

Always got a sensible chuckle out of that.

>>95015602
>band of cobra
Seeing a bunch of noobs freaking out after seeing their friends getting their heads chopped off by Snake eyes would be great.

>>95018793
Nod has actually won shit in their universe. Cobra always gets BTFO.

>>95039006
band of vipers

i recall the marvel comic actually having one strike team of different vipers (i recall a saw, toxo, frag and heat viper) tasked to capture castle destro at one point.

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>>95039006

>>95027753
A lot of people suggest GI Joe could work in a Metal Gear style rework, and I think that could easily allow for Serpentor to be reworked as an AI.

>US Government creates tactical learning AI
>Program in Historical Leader data
>Pit it against Cobra
>Gradually becomes more intelligent
>Learning tech doesnt adequately 'lock in' its ideology to follow the Governments
>AI begins to think Cobra has a point.
>Manages to keep this secret from its handlers
>Finds batshit conspiracy theories about 'Cobra-La', faults in learning tech means he believes them
>Turns on US, desposes CC and starts going outwardly crazy with the snake theme
>Serpentor is born

>>95033771
might as well write a story where the nazis are the big good guys

>>95039291
>a weapon to surpass to whatever cobra has that week

>>95020761
>have college degree

>choose to be an enlisted

>>95040598
college degree=/=being smart

>>95037469
I've been saying for years that having Michael Bay direct the Transformers franchise instead of the GI Joe movies was a colossal mistake.
The guy has a huge military fetish and love of explosions, that would have been absolutely perfect for GI Joe.

>>95016270
This, I've been saying this.

Either making like Overwatch or Metal Gear it could work

>>95016248
Tumblr loves white males if they are cute, quirky, or not bland, only Duke would suffer their ire but Hawk, and the others are fine.

Plus there are plenty of PoC in GI Joe, hell the original story was written by an Asian man.

As for Snake Eyes he's just going to get slashed with Storm Shadow (like he already is by the movie people) and his face is covered all the time. Plus him being fucked up and a mute gives him disabled status.

>>95041433
Dang no wonder Cobra people like him better than CC

>>95039105
Commando Ninja > Regular Ninja

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>>95029912
>>95031268
Nice

>>95040598
If you choose Army or Marines and you decide to ne cannon fodder then yeah that's dumb.

But if you know how to fix planes or work a sub reactor or any essential skills they're not going to send you to die with the rest. Aldo Airforce and the Navy tend to give people with degrees pretty good cushu jobs and benefits.

>>95029912
Stevrnson and Lee Byung-Hun were really passionate about the characters they played.

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Make it grim bitter reality

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Who could beat them?

>>95043608
they would actually betray and beat each other

>>95040598
Lots of Joes have college degrees, some of them even from Ivy's.

Lady Jay went to Trinity College, IIRC.

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>>95044661

Whatever happened to the IDWverse? Last I checked, one of the Twins was Cobra Commander? What happened to Krake?

>>95041433

Hate the costume all you want, hate the cartoon version all you want, but comic Serpentor was amazing.

In spite of Hama disliking him, he still managed to make him awesome, and a likeable villain.

>>95045218
SJW before there were SJWs.

>>95046692
>What happened to Krake?

They seem to be avoiding answering that question, don't they?

They won't be able to make him the founder of IDW's version of Cobra, but they really should just introduce a new Cobra Commander that amalgamates everything people love about the Marvel and Sunbow versions into one guy.

>>95045218
>Little kids won't know what M.O. stands for
>so we'll write it out on the bottom, 8 year olds will know what "Modus Operandi" means.

>>95033845

She restored Cobra Commander to a humanoid form, to stage a coup against Serpentor, because Destro left her for Zarana.

How that was supposed to be Serpentor's fault was never explained.

>>95031442
>>95032689
>>95033723

Mindbender, Destro, Tomax and Xamot were behind the plot to replace Cobra Commander with a new leader, so they were 100% on board with Serpentor. All of them but Mindbender had already tried taking over Cobra, and failed to last long, they all openly disliked Cobra Commander and blamed him for all their defeats, so they had a lot invested in Serpentor as their new leader.

The Baroness has a smaller role in those episodes of the cartoon, and wasn't part of their cabal, but she seemed to be on the same page as them.

Zartan, the Dreadnoks, and the lower-tier Cobras just tended to side with whoever was paying them.

But look at Serpentor's 'birth': https://youtu.be/2lwf5_DMkwc

Imagine being there in the room for what appears to be a kind of supernatural event, as this hyper-masculine Cobra Messiah made of the DNA of leaders, and made of ANGER, and he comes to life and immediately starts slapping their most powerful enemy around, and he's here to lead them all to victory, and it's no surprise that they all bend the knee so quickly.

>>95047371

Hama's GI Joe was very educational in terms of being full of military jargon and slang terms.

Meanwhile, the Sunbow cartoon had a number of characters, notably Cobra Commander, Destro and Serpentor, who used a lot of big words kids might need to look up to understand, broadening their vocabulary.

Who else here learned what DNA was from GI Joe?

>>95047836
As a little kid, I learned about stuff like the Warsaw Pact from asking my parents about stuff I read on file cards and didn't understand.

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>>95014731
Stop doing retarded live action shit

Has there ever been a good live action adaption of anything?

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How do I get into GI Joe?

Is the animated movie as good as the animated Transformers movie?

>>95015546
It was honestly Transformers: Animated tier. And by that I mean fucking awesome.

>>95048112
Read the original Larry Hama comic, don't bother with the cartoons.
Fuck, just reading all the filecards he wrote will get you into it.

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>>95016543
>The reason the transformers movies worked generally was they felt quite close to the source material and feel of it.
what the fuck are you talking about?

>>95048112
Absolutely not, the first few minutes are gold and then it turns to shit.

>>95048112
The only thing about the movie you should watch is the intro.

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>>95037773
Skimpily dressed sniper and the Edgelord are apart of the Cobra analog. So is Mexican hacker and Black Fister. Talon is basically the Cobra equivalent.

>>95048112

Start at the start, if you can. The comics and cartoons are very different things, and both have their merits. At it's peak, the comic was one of the best Big 2 comics of the 1980s, while the cartoon is a lot crazier than the comic (usually) gets, but a lot of fun, and often smarter and funnier than you might expect.

The movie is very divisive, because it gets very crazy very quickly, and has a shocking reveal about the backstory of a popular and important character.

It's beautifully animated, has great voice-acting and spectacular action, but if you want a somewhat-realistic GI Joe cartoon, it's not for you. But the cartoon never was that anyway.

>>95047749
>starts slapping their most powerful enemy around, and he's here to lead them all to victory, and it's no surprise that they all bend the knee so quickly.

pretty much how grimlock became leader of the autobots in the marvel g1 comic. kicked trypticon's ass (exaggerated. he had the dinobots and it only looked like he made trypticon retreat) and got a crown.

>>95048041
you act like the live action movies are the norm (gi joe extreme's shorts count?)

>>95038825

Explaining the joke: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beatosu_and_Goblu

>>95041763
Plus the ethnic stereotypes

Imagine Spirit Iron-Knife in a Michael Bay film, shit would be gold

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>>95048041

>>95039105
That's a dick move desu

>>95038724
He should be proficient with the weapons he creates

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>>95037502
I still don't like the retaliation Commander design much.

Do people not get the snake theme they had going with the first movie mask? It's more obvious on the opaque head for the POC Cobra Commander. Also, that red is delicous

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Also this was a pretty neat design (fucking cancellations)

But I think the coat might look better on Destro

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This one definitely had potential, but the jacket is too bulky and the smooth helmet is just out of place with the more realistic body

>>95048156
Nah, he should watch the cartoon. Everyone should watch Snake-Eyes breakdance and the Cobra telethon at least once in their life.

>>95050291
pretty much if the red ninja did it, "no honor'
snake eyes did it "he's being smart".

>>95050315
small arms maybe. be hilarious if he personally tests the big guns/sweet ass rides.


something that bothers me. why are people saying the underwater battle wasn't very RAH-ish?

pretty much a standard RAH vehicle battle, just underwater.

>>95050567
Well the Destro figures all come giant ridiculous guns, but then again that's par for the course with the ROC line.

As for the underwater battle, it's been awhile so I don't really remember? Maybe it was too dark and murky. But wasn't it just heavy duty and a bunch of grunts vs a bunch of cobra grunts, not very interesting

>>95050901
add on, I do remember people complaining about the battle then, but I don't know why.

If anything the real disappoint of the movie is Duke never gets to serve a much deserved beatdown to Rex/Doctor/Commander. Doesn't even lay a finger on him.

On the commentary, the director said they planned to have duke attack the commander's submarine, and go hand to hand with him and Destro for the climax. But they decided there was already "enough fighting"

>>95050942
so basically, we get the cobra commander dramatically putting on his mask and announcing he's the leader... and immediately getting captured.

What a climax. Fucking idiots.

>>95050042
I love that they mention Road Pig in the wiki article.

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Make it EXTREME. Not a single reference to the EXTREME era on this thread?

>>95050506
Link plz

>>95050964
That was the funniest part of the movie.

>>95051025
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gy7H5ec_Wgo

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>>95018793
Myman.

>>95050901
basically just like another vehicle battle in the RAH cartoon but live-action and underwater.

calling out people who say it's not very RAH at all.

how would he board the sub? ram it?

>>95050964
to be fair, he didn't know he was going to be captured (duke had back up), but zartan was already in place so it's still a win for him.

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I can't find a military helmet to butcher for this set.... I have the masks laid out but the helmet needs work. (real helmet, not a fake one)

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>>95018793
>Cobra vs. Nod Which faction wins?

Cobra is revealed to be one of the many splintered branches of Nod; they unite once Kane is revealed to be still alive and taking command as Scrin invades Earth.

Cobra-La are ancient enemies of Scrin, who were banished to this planet along with Kane.

GI Joe would also work as a GDI branch. They could have been separate units at start, and pulled under GDI command once they become a global military after the Tiberium crisis. Alternatively, GI Joe could have founded GDI to begin with, as GDI started out as a cover, black ops team to uphold the political status quo. (due to a public screw-up, they ended up ratified as a UN-backed global military peacekeeping force). Either way, both organizations are extremely similar.

The two universes are extremely compatible with each other.

>>95014731
Do not let its premise be based in reality. It has to be over the top or else it doesn't work.

>>95051828
The G.I. Joe comic worked fine despite being grounded in reality.

>>95051094
What the actual fuck?

Snake Eyes didn't break dance, but that was weird and cool as hell. The beatnik look worked really well on Polly.

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>>95051922

>>95051870

It's far more "grounded in reality" than the cartoon ever was, but there was still a giant robot by #3. There's no "100% realistic" version of GI Joe.

>>95014731
By not being embarrassed of the source material.

>>95051062
I don't think it was meant to be intentionally goofy in a RAH way, if it was actually framed like that maybe it would be redeemable

>>95051196
>how would he board the sub? ram it?
I don't remember. Just thought it would be cool to see cobra commander and duke go head to head for once. Cobra Commander in this universe had proper military training after all.

>>95051196
>to be fair, he didn't know he was going to be captured (duke had back up), but zartan was already in place so it's still a win for him.
It felt like a last minute rush job, and the commentary basically confirmed it. They didn't know what to do. In fact the comic adaptation of the movie ends with Cobra Commander just escaping. You're right about the Zartan thing, though.

>>95040598
Getting a degree before signing up is actually a smart move, because it means you enter as an officer- which means higher pay, more potential for lateral advancement, lower odds of being the cannon-fodder, and a better pension when you get out. Not to mention that it looks good on a resume.

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>>95017833

>>95052966
At least one Joe eventually retired and went to college on the G.I. Bill.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grunt_(G.I._Joe)

>>95051989
didn't IDW try that (real gritty stuff like cobra having a training camp for child soldiers?)

>>95052790
true about the abrupt ending. other than duke and the joes scuttling the sub, there's no other real way to have a big battle between them that would be satisfying (even with a big sub, CC will just end up like the yamato against a ton of mini subs/opponents).

>>95048112
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXY8BMXDKSA

only comics are legit

>>95020651
What is this fucking awful shit?

Ana = Lady Jaye or Scarlet
Genji = Snake Eyes
Soldier = Duke
Hanzo = Storm Shadow
Roadhog = Roadpig
Bastion = Roadblock
Tracer = Scarlet or Ace
Mercy = Lifeline
Pharah = Zap or Short Fuze
D.Va = Airborne
Zenyatta = Doc
Lucio = Breaker or Dial-Tone
Symmetra =
McCree = Wild Bill
Reaper = ??
Torbjorn = ??
Winston = Rip Cord
Zarya = ?? (Flash maybe)
Junkrat = ??
Mei = Snowjob
Reinhardt = Heavy Metal
Doomfist = Destro

>>95048112
Cartoon is for laughs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thbICk05yPk

>>95050942
>GI Joe Movie
>too much fighting

Who in the fucking world

This is like that shitty director who gave us a godzilla movie where we never fully see Godzilla or have Godzilla fight a monster until the very end

Jesus fucking christ I want these people to die

>>95051007
Extreme was literally poochie the show

>>95051007
the IDW take on it was just low man

especially with what they did to stone.

I liked how his troopers just gave up when word got out he "died". tells you how much charisma he got and how ineffective the lieutenants are.

>>95054593
dat ass tho

Also, the intro to the cartoon movie is pretty fucking good, the fight over Lady Liberty?

Fuck, they knew what people wanted to see. Just big dumb spectacle, come in all guns blazing

>>95054593
He is convincing.

I picked up the IDW comics from the Humble Bundle, and so far I'm liking them. It would be decent as a mini-series like the Netflix-Marvel ones, but I can't imagine a movie of them

>>95054609
He said he thought snake eyes and storm shadow fighting was climactic enough

>>95056441
It's a fucking GI Joe movie

The answer is always YET MORE FIGHTING

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Redesign the Cobra logo so that it's not an open vagina.

>>95056875
Yonic imagery is very threatening, anon.

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>>95056905
>looks up "yonic"
Three decades on this earth and I never knew the feminine equivalent of "phallic" until now. Thanks for the vocabulary boost, Anon.

>>95015847
THIS

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>>95029794
a more supernatural sci-fi show...

with Cobra playing with mutant soldiers, hellish like forces and Gi Joe looking like a varied team of people arround the world with cool colorful futuristic-like uniforms

>>95014731

I can't think of anyway for it to work with Cobra. Sorry, it made sense in the 80s to make up a terrorist organization, but we have ISIS and they make Cobra look tame. Say what you want about Cobra Commander, Zartan, Destro, etc. at least they're not beheading random people and fucking children. And that's not even a special occasion for them.

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>>95057398
megamarines is the way to go

>>95018793
>Cobra/Nod/HYDRA trinity

>>95056692
Sure, but then again when has Cobra Commander ever actually fought physically with Duke?

>>95043608
Wasnt the Street Fighter live action movie adapted from an unused GI Joe movie script?

>>95054593

>A CRAB! THEY LOST TO A CRAB!

That will never stop being funny.

>>95056938
Now that you know, you'll start seeing it everywhere.

And, of course, knowing is half the battle.

>>95057460
If ISIS starts carving their initials on the moon with a giant lazer, you'll have an argument.

Hell, remember that when GI Joe started, the real world was just coming off the last big wave of terror that helped define the 70s.

https://status451.com/2017/01/20/days-of-rage/

>>95054657

IDW used GI Joe Extreme?

And they used them the same way they use Transformers Generation 2 characters?

>>95056441

It's bad enough that the stupid reveal of the Baroness being brainwashed meant that Scarlett didn't get her rematch, and had nothing to do in the finale, but having Cobra Commander and Destro get captured immediately without a fight was just terrible.

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>>95059461
kinda. Lt. Stone appeared as a reality show host that cover girl participated in. parts of the show (the intro, names, catch phrases) are used.

GI extreme being used as a reality show wasn't that BAD. this however is IMO (even if you remember he's not actually a military guy, it's still pretty low to do that to the character).

the whole issue

https://desuarchive.org/co/thread/93471971/#q93471971

>>95059500
Destro wasn't really a fighter in this incarnation, and when has Cobra Commander ever been outside of wearing power armor?

>>95059803
I'm kinda torn

>>95059935

The live-action version of Cobra Commander was a former soldier, so he should have enough training to put up a fight.

>>95060302
Would have been neat to see, yeah.
Joseph Gordon Levitt was surprisingly good, though of course they distorted his voice a lot

>>95035350
I am perfectly fine with that design. I don't understand why people think Cobra Commander has to gave only two looks and needs to look virtually the same every single time.

>>95030636
>a better question is why GI Joe isn't working

It's because the PC nazis took the fun out of it. That's really the reason.

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>>95060384
I know right?
And compared to this fucking thing, it's godly.

>>95061443
would less turquoise make the suit better?

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>>95029794
>>95057398

Valor vs Venom was close

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VAsOomycGU

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>>95061443
Hama thought that this design will this completely unrecognizable for CC and put different character in it

>>95061979
what issue is this?
CC had a ponytail?!!

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>>95062265
issue #61

in issue #55 CC unmasked himself

>>95062353
CC just jealous he can't pull off the chain shirt combo.

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So I have only ever watched the cartoon a couple of times, and the two live action movies.

What are the best comics? I am trying to find the old one like
>>95061979
>>95062353

Any websites I can read it online?

>>95061979
Fred was such a complete shit.

>>95062615
try this
http://readcomiconline.to/Comic/G-I-Joe-A-Real-American-Hero

>>95062632
went full eobard

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>>95062542
I love that Hame made jokes about clothing

>>95062887
mandatory furmanism
>LIKE SOME PREDATORY BIRD

>>95062809
>http://readcomiconline.to/Comic/G-I-Joe-A-Real-American-Hero

Thank you!

>>95039291
They basically did that in one of the Transformers crossovers, and it wound up being probably the best incarnation of Serpentor ever.
http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Serpentor#G.I._Joe_vs._the_Transformers

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Back in the 70's when people got sick from vietnam war they change gijoe from military into adventurers

Would this concept work now?

>>95064358
what would be the modern take on adventuring nowadays?

>>95064659
Well we can't have middle east adventuring for sure

>>95054593
>What if Starscream lead a group of humans as a Pretender

>>95064755
how many of yesteryear's exciting adventures is now mundane (astronauts for example) or asking for trouble online (jungle/ruin explorers/big game hunter).

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hAZGL-Zrks

>>95064891
are arctic adventures ok?

>>95063295
*sniff sniff* yes, comander gime thet sexi uzi *snort sniff SNIFFFFFF* o yis vry nice

>>95061979

It had nothing to do with the new costume being "unrecognizable". Within the space of a few months, Hasbro went from telling him to put Cobra Commander in his new costume, to ordering him killed off "for movie synergy" with the 1987 animated movie.

Hama appears to have decided to have Fred impersonate Cobra Commander rather than have no Cobra Commander, which might have helped sell that figure, at the cost of leaving Cobra led by a man who had no idea what he was doing.

>How do we fix the GI Joe franchise

Simple: We Larry Hama's prodigy(if he has one) and get him to take care of the franchise from now on. If not by actually writing it, then at least by being a sort of overseer.

>>95067520

That's really sad, that kid did not deserve his loving Cobra parents.

>>95066889
yes.

for some reason a gi joe getting chased by a leopard seal sound hilarious.

>>95072982

That actually happened, during the 'Pyramid of Darkness' cartoon miniseries.

https://youtu.be/0sOgJZaI4cw

>>95073135
seal clubbing episode?

man, the 80s can get away with everything.

>>95016490
I'm think your right. I'm always told Bay should have been on Joe instead of the Transformers.

You wanna know how to fucking fix the GI Joe franchise?
He's an idea you CAN'T! this is why we need a Cobra Commander spin off
Come on doesnt hasbro own this shit? For fuck sakes screw my little pony just make the god damn edgy, funny, inspirational Cobra Commander spin off already

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Have Hideo Kojima write it.

>>95051007
>Dictator
>Klaw
I bet he wears boxers too

>>95059420

I didn't realize how much was going on as a kid. I watched the news, but can't remember seeing very much graphic imagery of terror. But I did live in a small town. Maybe shit was just censored back then.

But I still don't see how to make it work with Cobra. They're just so...campy and their motives don't work in 2017 (unless you're gonna dig up the alien giant bugs plot or whatever they were in the movie). The new threat is religious extremism.

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>>95077091
> Cobra Commander spin off

sounds awesome

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>>95078223
At first Hasbro wanted Gijoe to fight with commies but that would be too controversial so they made Cobra
even in Marvel comics Joes team up with Soviets to fight with Cobra
"Red terrorism" was about blowing up state's stuff, blowing up bridges, robbing banks etc it was a fight with government
Extremist terrorism we have nowadays is more frightening because targets are civilians
just kill as many civilians as possible with any method

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>>95061736
Valor vs Venom is underrated as fuck

sucks that we never got the robot rebellion sequel with Overkill as the main baddie

and dat Jinx. UNF.

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>>95014731
>
let storm shadow wreck stuff.

no more snake-eyes fagging (one can argue SS is supposed to be SE's equal but you can barely remember any cool stuff SS did).

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>>95062887
Even as far as GI Joe designs went, I always though Mindbender was especially trash.

Again, here's a reason why Valor vs Venom is awesome

>>95079365
wow storm shadow used hokuto shinken on tank

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>>95079374
Naked torso with cape is not a good combination for anyone

I love custom mindbenders

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>>95079377
>that tank is already dead
>>95079374
>>95079422
what about purple? i know the devil's due version uses a blue/purple lab coat

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>>95079545
Too bad the best Mindenber figure was club exclusive

>>95079545
>what about purple?

purple is a great color for villains

>>95014731
Don't kill off the main villains like in the last animated film.

>That's why there are nameless peons.

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>>95079422
>not using the doctor body as a custom mindbender

Think about it, he's got the proper labcoat, but also the silly kinky leather straps all over his body which jive with how outrageous the original barechested one was

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Cobra troopers have worse aim that special edition greedo

>>95079701
What's stupid about that is the Joes are bulletproof.
If you're going to be dark and edgy, and this is a one time thing, why not throw some redshirts out there.
The battles were lame as fuck, it was always 2 joes gunning down a bunch of woefully inept cobra soldiers.

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>>95080045
>punch!

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>>95080038
Doctor is the most customizable figure ever

Many awesome customs were made thanks to it

>>95080045
I'm going to assume the original script had some note that got missed about snake eyes ninja senses detecting the gun and him quicky moving his head back ala han in that special edition you mentioned

>>95080068
That's just the jacket though

Anyway, the doctor had a legitimately sweet design. They should bring it back, even for just some generic cobra scientist

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>>95080080
jacket was the best part about that figure

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>>95080108
>>95080068
>dat dr claw

alternatively you could leave The Doctor the way he is sans wig and I could still picture him as doctor claw (remember what the old toy looked like?)

>>95080045
bad aim or ancient secret arashikage technique?

you decide.

>>95077091

It does say a lot that we keep having GI Joe threads but all anyone ever wants to talk about is Cobra.

>>95080986
sigma 6 was generally dull as dirt but I still paid attention every-time Cobra Commander was on screen

>>95080986
>>95081021

good villains can keep the story going. bad villains makes you want to end the story as soon as possible.

has anyone tried a cobra vs kobra (DC comics) yet?

>>95029742
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbANBxbmLfw

>>95079374
>>95079422

Between Mindbender, Zandar, and Raptor, the comics and cartoons convinced me to buy a lot of weird-looking shirtless Cobras, without even questioning how they looked. I wonder what my parents must have thought about that.

>>95081856
At least it wasn't He-Man

>>95081927

He-Men was part of a trend of fantasy, D&D, and Conan-inspired barbarian types, where you'd fully expect characters to look like that, and not think anything was abnormal about it, because this stuff was everywhere in the 1970s and 1980s.

It's only in retrospect that people have looked back and derided it as "camp" and "gay".

>>95082014
You'd expect them to have fuckboy shota haircuts? He had a freakin bob cut dude

>>95060316
its a shame he didn't at least voice CC in the sequel, I rather liked the modulation they did.

>>95082021
>You'd expect them to have fuckboy shota haircuts?

Implying 1980s children even knew what those words mean, or that He-Man's target audience would have any concept of sex or homosexuality in an age before society started introducing these concepts to the young?

>>95082172
implying there was ever a time where that haircut didn't scream "I love taking it up the butt"

>>95082137
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5liG9fs5tA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cg7wSv4ALRo

when the music is so good you almost forget it's a shitty movie

>>95082244
I'm not the biggest G.I. Joe fan, but I liked this movie. But it sorely needed more stupid fun shit like Storm Shadow escaping the base on that jetpack.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHq3y20HhRk

Also more shit like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rhgxm2xLnvA

>>95045218
>Dreadnoks are Tom, Dick and Harry as well as Wynken Blynken and Nod.

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>>95082187
The Middle Ages up until the end of the 80s it was a manly haircut.
Chalk it up as yet another thing the gay agenda has ruined, along with other styles like guys showing their chest.

>>95079422
>Naked torso with cape is not a good combination for anyone

A nerd like Mindbender might not be able to pull it off, but Destro sure could.

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what was this guy's deal?

>>95067520
So much for Cobra Family Values.

>>95078223
>The new threat is religious extremism.

You haven't been keeping up with the news, have you? Fascism and Communism are both on the rise again. There's more nutters out there than just ISIS.

>>95078926
>First rate accountant

I love that many prominent Cobra members were once upstanding citizens who either had their American Dream betrayed, or just went stir crazy and joined out of ennui.

>>95051987
Didn't know he could BBoy.

>>95016248
As someone that hates the military, they're still highly worshipped in America. There's no way you'd ever lose that crown.

>>95035437
What the fuck do you mean "authority"? It's a terrorist group, the only criteria you need for being the leader in a terrorist group is being the scariest looking asshole in the room.

>>95082197
>you will call me... commander!
bad-ass even though what follows next, not so.

>>95083540
Weren't groups like al-Qaeda actually pretty well-organized?

>>95080055
Agreed, transformer: Fall of Cybertron and War had the right idea of adding extra cannon fodder to shoot at.
They needed nameless Joe soldiers to fill that void.

>>95034778
She's so thin.

>>95031296
>Maybe if he was an actual snake man instead of an idiot in a snake costume, he would have worked.
Eh, not really. It doesn't change him being a terrible character.

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>>95020426
They killed Bozooka at the start, how do you defend this garbage?

>>95085908
With irredeemable taste.