Steven wants to sit next to you on the bus. What do you do?

>>94956169
Why not?

>>94956169
Rock people

Let him. He's not going to suddenly start talking nonsense to me unless I interact with him. And if something bad happens like the bus is about to crash, then his powers can come in handy such as him bubbling the area around him to negate the damage.

>>94956169
rock nigger

Is me sitting next to him going to force me into the plot?

>>94956192
>>94956217
>>94956247
He has his ukulele with him and he's about to sing how he can't help it if he makes a scene.

>>94956300

Only if it means that I get to meet the rocks at some point.

>>94956300
>Oh no, he's going to play a ukulele and sing in tune!
That's probably the best case scenario for encountering a small child in a public space. Source: I go to restaurants a lot.

>>94956413
He's not a child, 14 years old.

>>94956169
just be very careful not to talk. If you talk, you're a character, and if you're a character...you have to come back

>>94956413
This. It helps that the songs in SU are consistently one of the show's strong points.

cuck Connie

>>94956438
That's a child.

>>94956169
>bully

>>94956438
>He's not a child, 14 years old.

He acts much less mature than a 14 year old.

>>94956169
Ask myself why I'm on a bus when I've got a car I could drive and not have to interact with any degenerates.

>>94956169
Fine. Lesbian stones, then.

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I ask him where his pipe is

>>94956617
That's a teen.

>>94956665
that's the sole reason he looks like one
The moment he acts like your typical teenager he's gonna look like one

>>94956169
Lauren Zuke was so a little shit.

>>94956716
GARFIELD!

n o w w h e r e c o u l d m y p i p e b e

>>94956169
I ask him for the favor of a song to elevate the mood as we travel across the majestic landscapes of the continental USA.
Then I lay into him for hours with theoretic considerations of morality and systemic inadequacies from the perspective of the working class.
There is no escape for him.

You've got your mom's tits.

>>94956169
start a song with him, that would be hella

>>94956300
If you think I am below yelling at a kid when I am drunk orapparently lost my car you are sorely misraken

>>94956169
Talk about stuff we have in common to teach him that you can hate ideas but not people who have them

>>94957865
kek'd

ROCK NIGGERS

>>94956169
talk about /pol/itics

>>94956438
>don't worry officer, she was only 14

Ask him how the hot one is doing.

>>94956169
>DO A 360 AND WALK AWAY

>Oh, oh, oh
>For the longest time

That or
>mahna mahna

Wait, no,
>It's been one week since you looked at me
Unfortunately I'd rather do the rap, but he does read sailor moon so it's probably got the boom anime babes that make him think the wrong things.

I've legit ended up in a spontaneous mahna mahna sing along with 3 other people when someone mispronounced Manama in a gov class. It was perfect unison without missing a beat.

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did someone say rock people?

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>>94956169
Ask him how much it would cost for him to whore out the gems to me, especially peridot, then grab his ass and offer to give him 50$ to get back in that dress and let me fuck him. Yes, i find steven attractive especially in a dress, and yes i know im a disgusting degenerate

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>>94959370

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>>94956169

If I had the speech skill I'd manipulate him into getting me to the gems and then manipulate the group as a whole because they're emotionally immature/vulnerable. Basically pull a Navy 2.0 but with greater consequences and end games.


If you had to/want to how would you attempt to get a gem to kill themselves?

>>94956440
Just rip his fucking gem off and sell it for muns silently.

>>94956169
Ask to see his belly button.

>>94956169
jump thru the window

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>>94956169
Unleash my weapons grade philosophical insight.

>>94956438
Do you know what a child is?

Steven has a weird tendency of somehow improving people's lives just by spending time with them (usually), so I let it slide.

>>94956169
To be fair, he was talking to an obnoxious rockaboo.

>>94959648
A child is someone who isn't 14.

>>94959480
We don't cotton to freaks 'round these parts.

>>94958813
Children and teens are different.

>>94956169
i suck his fat tits

>>94959370
>Liking Peridot
Mah nigga
>Liking a fat kid in drag
HOW?

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>>94956169
Ask him about the tall, slender pale chick with pink hair that accompanied him at the bus stop, and if she's available.

>>94959742
Child: [noun] a young human being below the age of puberty or below the legal age of majority.

>>94956169
i'm awkward around kids so i ignore the 14 year old

>>94959821
teen·ag·er
ˈtēnˌājər/
noun
noun: teenager; plural noun: teenagers; noun: teen-ager; plural noun: teen-agers

a person aged from 13 to 19 years.

>>94959815
>HOW?
Im a filthy degenerate that gets turned on by anything remotely cute or feminine

>>94959815
For me its the degradation aspect, I can spit on and be as rough with a fatty as I want and not feel bad because I don't like fat people but I also hate myself for wanting to fuck fatties so it's a feedback loop that directs itself to my dick.

>>94959962
>anything remotely cute or feminine
Steven is neither of those.

>>94956169
I let him sit next to me and i steal his cheeseburger backpack.
I need that shit

>>94956716
The single greatest piece of art in our time.

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>>94959876
You are legally still considered a child until you are an adult.

You going to call the law a liar, punk?

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What'd you just call me, motherfucker?

>>94960072
Stop splitting pubic hairs.

WE

>>94960215
WUZ

>>94956169
Fine by me.

>>94960229
ROCKS

>>94956357
>Only if it means that I get to meet the rocks at some point.
you depraved bastard
amy is mine

>>94960273
Yuck, you can have crossdressing Grimace.

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>>94960215
>>94960229
>>94960271

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>>94960396

>>94960273

it's ok, because I've already taken jasper

>>94960396
Pearl needs to fly into more autistic fits of rage.

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>>94960451

>>94959989
i have a cheeseburger backpack you nigger, they're only like $40

Will mayor Dewey make a move on Pearl next episode? Will she like it?

>>94956772
Well I guess we found the underage in the thread

As long as he stays quiet I don't give a shit.
If >>94956300 is happening though, he's going to swallow every single splinter of that damned obnoxious instrument.

give him a wet willy

>>94956169
Light a cigarette

>>94958055
This guy would make a good
cool and wise big bro character

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>>94956300
Seethe to myself and try to power through using my phone as a distraction from this annoying situation I've found myself in.
But inside I'd be cursing that on top of being on the God damn bus, which isn't a good start already, now this weird boyish genetic-amoeba is going to be auditioning for his off-broadway debut and I might be in the collateral damage of some alien attack.
So a little pissed.

>>94956169
>hail yellow diamond!

>>94960451
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRLFtw0HCWk&t=3s

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Stare at him like this for the whole trip.

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>>94956300
"Hey man if you want to sing Hawaiian music start with a classic, I'm sure you can relate with his size"

>>94960940
Is it you?

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>>94957202
Fucking disturbing.

>>94959979
Steven's not feminine?

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>>94956169
>OH God M-M-*burg* Morty! That kid looks like he' wants to sit next to us.

I don't know Rick. He seems alright.

>*burg* Morty. Do you even have the slightest idea who that fucker is?

uhhhhh

>That's a fucking female alien inside the body of her own child Morty. It's like if your mom decided to fuck you with her dick and cum inside of you and then there's a mini her living in you for the rest of your life Morty. He's lit-liter-*burp* literally the representation of female incest rape on a younger male Morty!
You really want to sit by that, M-m-*burp* morty?

Rick. I don't think it's about that. He seems happy.

>Yeah Morty. You'd be happy too if a mini mom was always inside of you vibrating your balls from inside so you have internal orgasms every fucking minute for the rest of your life.

manspread

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>>94956300
>>94956169

>>94963801
He will start singing a song about how it is not considerate to manspread. Can you endure?

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>>94959414
But anon what if he doesn't *poof*, what if he just slowly bleeds out and starts turning pale right next to you? You'll have to cover his mouth to stop him from shouting and even if you do, "a grown man covering a crying, aneamic child", that doesn't sound too good now does it. Your name will be in the papers and You'll be in prison, well, that is unless the gems hunt you down and kill you first once they get word of Steven's Murderer. So think wisely anon, would you want to do that.

>>94956169
>the correct term is "Geoamericans"

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>>94957865

>>94963834
No, they are simply Gems.
And very much not Americans.
They are illegal aliens in every possible meaning of those words.
They cross international borders without official sanction from any state, they have no documentation, they are not even from Earth and they are outlawed pariahs to their own people.
Although, legislation does not really account for immortal ancient invaders.
You can't really be expected to just play by the rules of any particular state some lesser beings start building around you as you spend eternity on your beach as you always did.

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>>94963826
Simple anon. Assuming the gem houses all of steven's powers he'll be left defenseless denying him of his bubble shield and his actual shield which leads me to the next logical step in my plan if he doesn't poof but it's unlikely he'll be able to retaliate because he'll be clutching in pain and bleed... The next step is...

I WILL CRASH THE BUS... WITH NO SURVIVORS. Nobody can know that it was you who did it if you destroy all of the evidence and witnesses also I've never seen anyone in beach city wield actual weapons.

>>94964004
So they're like Native Americans with recognized sovereignty?

>>94956169
I punch him in the mangina

>>94956169
Whip out my phone and show him some HAFNIM

>>94964080
Nope. They aren't born in the US (except Amy and Jasper, if you count plopping out of a hole in a wall birth). They are defectors from an invasion force and were made on another world.
Just much older than most cultures that made it to the present day, which makes it hard to grasp them in human terms or sensibilities.

>>94956169
ask him for peridot's number

>>94956169
why the hell would I be riding the bus?
I'm not poor

>>94965219
your car is just a compact bus

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>taking public transportation

>>94965241
It's my compact bus though, get your own
I mostly ride my motorcycles though

>>94956665
Have you ever met a 14 year old?

>>94956169
take a big fart and wait for him to not sit

>>94965860
It doesn't bother him because he can't breathe through that horrendously deformed nose of his.

>>94956169
Only one comes out alive.

>>94960940
>>94956617
Oh yeah, I forgot adolescence goes from 18-25 now.

>>94964074
But if there's no survivors, how would you survive?

>>94965896
then I will use my MAGA cap and keep it simple.

>>94966090
He doesn't?

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>>94956169
Sell him some low budget gem pornography

>Don't insult our oppressors, it's offensive
Wow, is this really the message we want to be teaching our children?

>>94966207
Wut?

>>94956300
I've got an ipod and Judas Priest.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcURhfhPJiM

>>94956413
Oh, look at me! I go to restaurants a lot!

You're a fucking asshole, pal. Is this how you spend your time? You go on image boards with a bunch of weeaboo neck beards and boast about stepping out into the world? Ever think some of us might not be able to go outside? Some of us disturb people. Some of us terrify people. I'm 450lbs and have cystic acne all over my face. I've been asked to leave Denny's. Repeatedly. Do you has ever any idea how that feels? Of course you don't, with your privileged normal looking ass.
And holy shit, fuck you flaunting your wealth all over town. I can afford to eat. Obviously. But I subsist almost solely on social security checks and what meagre earnings I make selling mattresses. In the last five years I've only been able to take my wife out for dinner once, and that was to a goddamn fucking Chipotle. And guess what? We got asked to leave before we could even play for our food. Kamiko dai Suriji yama Ichibi dai Suriji (Soft as a Pillow Because She is a Pillow) was so fucking embarrassed.

So the next time you feel like bragging about your restaurant privileged white boy privileged ass, fucking don't.

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>>94964074
But anon you forget that Steven has inhuman strength. Once you grab his Gem and start pulling, he will immediately take this as a threat and act swiftly upon his attacker.

Steven will first go for your shoulders, dislocating them so that you may not use them to harm another. Remember that Steven will not try to be too aggressive, but he will reduce you to be less aggressive. Next, he will go for your legs, reducing you to a sad crippled state. Finally, to put the last nail in the coffin he'll cry and sing to you until for 10 hours. He doesn't care if he misses his stop, because he can just jump there.

So think again anon before you think you can overpower Steven "Motherfucking" Universe

>>94963732
underrated

>>94956169
Charge him $5.00 for a slice of pizza.

>>94956169
Is pearl with him?
This is important, plz answer.

>>94968940
No.

>>94956169
fuck off faggot