Maria Hill

Hill is basically "No Fun Allowed: The Character". Her purpose is to oppose all the things that make superhero comics great.

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>>94955208
>As of late
That's pretty much the whole reason she exists in the first place. But yeah, this: >>94955540
In a world where Maria Hill was actually competent/successful, 80% of superheroes would be out of a job. Despite heading arguably the world's largest, most powerful espionage organization, her direct opposition to the cornerstones of mainstream superhero fiction means she'll always be the underdog in this fight. Maria Hill was born to lose.

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she just needs some mutant dick

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>>94955540
>sanctimonious posturing
>egotistical showboating
>imposing one's own rigid viewpoint on others
>allowing criminals to run rampant without any attempt at a permanent solution
>privileged elitism
If that's what makes cape comics great, then Maria is 100% correct in opposing it.

>>94955208
Nothing Bendis creates is "best" anything.

>>94955658
>That Arrested Development reference
Good shit.

>>94955698
OK Ennis get the fuck off 4chan.

You thought we wouldn't catch on because you didn't mention Punisher or war but we're not fucking retarded.

>>94955208
Why did Maria Hill bring back some supervillains back from the dead for her little town?

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>>94955658
>Maria was born to lose.
That's shit writing though. See, the way things have played out, it's obvious the capes only win the argument because the writers want them to. Again, Maria has actually put forth possible solutions to the world's problems, while the capes have not. In any rational universe, where everyone isn't a fucking retard, Maria would be the hero, since she's actually doing something. It doesn't make the capes look like they're in the moral right, they come off as a bunch of immature morons who get mad whenever someone interrupts their life long LARP session.

As far as I'm concerned, the superheros are automatically in the wrong until they stop acting like children, and offer reasonable alternatives. Maria was right. Maria was always right.

>>94955719
Broken clocks, and all that.

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>>94955208

>>94955208
>And unlike a fair few of said capes, she's just trying to do her damn job.
Hill is an inept moron who consistently makes shit worse, why they only just kicked her out of Shield I'll never know.

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>>94955948
oops wrong pic

>>94955208

The last time she was really good on her own was Secret Invasion. She really channeled some Nick Fury in that.

And I do like Maria Hill. She's pretty much a hot Marvel version of Waller, a bitch that will do what's necessary to protect the world. But nowadays she's like thin Waller, an incompetent loser in a great body.

>>94956004
>But nowadays she's like thin Waller, an incompetent loser in a great body.
That's what Waller always is.

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>>94956001

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>>94955682
>600x374

Why would you do such a thing?

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>>94955943
Of course the writers want them to, and most of the readers want them to as well. They are, after all, the main characters. And even if they weren't, even if you had a Maria Hill ongoing, most of her initiatives would still probably fail on account of the rules of drama. These are all constaints of the kind of comic she inhabits and the particular role she was created to fulfill.
Disclaimer: I'm terribly out of the loop with 90% of what's going on with Marvel so the next bit is just going to be some very poorly, generalized, probably wrong ranting, but: What *is* shit writing, to me, is that she more often than not remains in power despite having far more disasters than triumphs to her name. There's a fair bit of lip service paid as to how she keeps the world running and yadda yadda yadda, but what we usually only get to see is her fucking up or getting fucked up. No writer is willing to actually give her a clear and decisive win, something that makes you say "Ok, yeah, THIS is why she's in charge". And even when they try, like in the latest issue of Secret Empire, it's still tarnished by half the problems being directly or indirectly caused by her. Why is this person who's actions have brought about disaster over and over still allowed to remain in a position of power? And the answer is easy: because the writers want her there. Because that's what she was born to do.

>>94956165
I get what you're saying, I really do. But really, this whole "capes good, non-capes" bad is just, well it's just fucking boring. I'll freely admit that this argument partially stems from my frustration with capes being essentially the only game in town, but holy shit, every time Maria gets shat on, it feels like the fact is being rubbed in. "Ha! Silly spy thrillers, here's why you suck, and why superheroes reign supreme, faggot!".

Again, I know I'm projecting, but pretty much every Marvel "hero" has turned into a repugnant piece of shit, and they need to be taken down a peg. My girl Maria would be the perfect character to do that, but the writers are a bunch of incompetent loons who will continue to insist that superheroes are a good thing, despite so much evidence to the contrary.

>>94956407
>Again, I know I'm projecting, but pretty much every Marvel "hero" has turned into a repugnant piece of shit, and they need to be taken down a peg.
Maria Hill fits that description far more than most heroes.

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>>94956407
Honestly, when you get to that point, I think it's better to just pack up and leave because these things ain't gonna change. The game's rigged, but it's not the only game in town. Spread out. Find comics that make you happy before you get burned out.
You dig spy thrillers? Ed Brubaker's Velvet was fucking awesome and ended recently. Greg Rucka's Queen and Country is also pretty fantastic, if you can handle the art. Grell's Jon Sable is a classic and cool as fuck. So is Modesty Blaise, and there you have decades worth of comics. Greener pastures, man. They're out there.

>>94956543
What the hell is going on with Cap's shield in that?

>bottom panel shows it is supposed to be roughly triangle shaped
>top panel makes it look like it should be a kite shape

>>94956543
Yeah this, look for comics you'll like and don't waste people's time bitching about ones you don't.
Frigging Garth Ennis all over again.

>>94956407
>But really, this whole "capes good, non-capes" bad is just, well it's just fucking boring.
>capes
You see, that's more the problem, this way of looking at it. They're not "capes". They're superheroes. Part of what makes them that is their morals. Otherwise, they'd be antiheroes or villains. That's one of the reasons Hill has no right to be on top, and that's what a lot of Marvel writers forgot.

I mean, in the anti-heroes case, I grew to appreciate them and their point of view, but in context, they're not supposed to be right either.

>>94956605

the current Cap shield (as used by Steve) is rather kite/triangular, depending on the artist, based on his original shield.

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>>94956004
Hill had a pretty big moment in Siege.

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>>94956835
They couldn't get the artists to decide what kind of weapon Hill was using, but it is still a cool scene.

Wasn't that whole "interplanetary shield to keep aliens out" idea that Captain Dykecut got to implement for putting Tony in a coma Hill's idea?

>>94956543
>pic
Maria is cute. CUTE!

But yeah, I'm fucking sick of superheroes and their sanctimonious bullshit. I was just using spy thrillers as a relevant example, but still nice to know there even are some recent examples.

I gotta make sure to catch the next the next Judge Dredd story time. If Anderson is anything like she is in the movie, I have a new waifu.

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>>94956860
Yes, but the undefined authorities that Hill answers to were already pissed about Pleasant Hills.

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>>94956924
Comics Anderson is a lot more mature, easy-going and jokey than movieverse Anderson, but they both share that huge sense of compassion, sympathy and independence that's at the core of her as a character. So yeah, definitely go for it. And if not, the Olivia Thirlby Anderson just got her first comic series set in the Dredd 3Dverse.

Also, since you mentioned Judge Dredd, remember when Al Ewing (who has written Dredd) revisited Mondo City One, the Judge Dredd pastiche from Thunderbolts, and Maria Hill was the Chief Jud--I mean Big Boss? Good times.

>>94956958
I don't know what that has to do with the planet shield, or what pleasant hills is.

>>94956851
Guess they also couldn't decide if they wanted her to actually shoot bullets or throw them while still in their casings.

>>94957001
Haha oh Ewing, you're too good for current Marvel.

still kinda upst about that Punishr and Punisher 2099 scene, but still

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>>94957001
Now that is a Big Boss I would love to have practice CQC on me.

>>94956924
>But yeah, I'm fucking sick of superheroes and their sanctimonious bullshit.
>>Says superheroes are sanctimonious
>> Talks about Mariah Hill like she isn't.

>>94957001
This page is fuckin' awesome, and shows why I love Maria despite Marvel trying their damnedest to make me hate her. Even in a world Dr. Doom has taken over the world with god powers, and everything has gone to proper shit, she still cares about doing her damn job of protecting the populace. She may be a bitch, but she's a bitch who's looking out for you.

>>94957201
>Haha oh Ewing, you're too good for current Marvel.
Why does everyone shill Ewing? His shit is so boring.

>>94955698
These traits describe Maria Hill though.

>>94957361
Don't try and point out the obvious, if he didn't get it years after all of Hill's bullshit he won't get it now.

>>94957354
In the world of nothing but hot servings of shit the guy with a sleeve of saltines tends to be the person you talk about the most fondly

>>94957421
Ewing isn't even that though.
Hell there's like at least 10 other marvel books better than his wannabe Morrison shit.

>>94957354
Hey, he's at least trying to do some fun and decent stuff. That can't be said of most Marvel.

Personally I think he's always too busy trying to clean after others' bullshit. Trying to salvage characters no one would want to touch with a 10-foot pole, bringing back characters who died in stupid ways and no one was assed to bring back, writing them back in character, bringing back dead worlds for more story possibilities without retcons, fixing continuity etc. If you find him so boring, maybe he should be editor or something.

Besides, I was just saying, a Judge Dread homage at Marvel is a pretty cool thing to see.

>>94957476
>his wannabe Morrison shit
Wow, now that's some uncalled for comparison, he's not that bad.

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she's my favorite Marvel character when Bendis isn't writing her
just constantly makes me laugh

>>94957682
literately half of Marvel's lineup is fun and decent stuff
Ewing is boring
rather read Hastings, Loveness, Robbie Thompson, Brisson, Bunn, Duggan and Spencer

>>94958572
God damn dude, did you just read my mind?

>>94955208
Maria Hill's arc has been a strange one. She was created just to be a bitchy bureaucrat antagonist but by the end of Bendis's meta-arc in Siege she'd basically redeemed herself and joined the good guys. At the start of Heroic Age she was helping the Avengers fulltime. Now she's basically at Dirk Anger levels of cartoon villainy.

I liked her dynamic with Tony on Fraction's Iron Man run despite it's flaws, but after Siege she has just been around going nowhere as a character.

Specer doesn't count.

>>94958572
eww....only Duggan and Spencer (sometimes) are enjoyable. And Duggan has really bad dialog

Could Maria Hill carry her own series?

>>94959141
the majority of their output has been good, Deadpool has been surprisingly great, UA made me a happy Rogue fan for the first time in years, Spencer's Superior Foes, Secret Avengers, Pleasant Hill and Cap saga have all been really entertaining to me

>>94959273

Only if it's about her discovering tinder.

>>94959273
Is she below Namo in popularity?

Everyone below him (and including him) can't.

>>94959273
only if it was a comedy
Kot's Secret Avengers was basically her own ongoing

>>94955208
>Why does Marvel gotta always hate on best girl? She's nothing but an anti-authoritarian strawman as of late
Acting as if this "character" ever had a personality.

It's a dozen years after her creation and only now is Bendis saying "Mebbe I shoulda given her a backstory?"

She's awful and is/was the epitome of early '00s "Eh let's make a woman character who is in-charge and has trendy short haircut?"

>>94955658
>In a world where Maria Hill was actually competent/successful, 80% of superheroes would be out of a job

You can say that about literally any character, that doesn't make them any less shit. The fact of the matter is, Mariah Hill is awful. She only exists to flip flop between pointlessly ruthless authoritarian and straight up villain.

>>94959141
Hastings and Brisson aren't enjoyable? Shit taste anon. Shit taste.

>>94955208
She and Daisy destroyed forever every respect I ever had for SHIELD.

The organisation is pretty shit and run by literal retards. I wonder why anyone follows them at all.

>>94959141
you don't actually read comics

>>94958572
>literately half of Marvel's lineup is fun and decent stuff
Found the "America" fan.

>>94955540
>Her purpose is to oppose all the things that make superhero comics "great".
sounds like a great character honestly. would be fun to have a short self-ironic series where she gets to win and bring some sense in capeshit logic.

>>94959300
that's what I said, some of Spencers stuff is good. I would add Ant-Man to that list
>>94959418
Vote Loki has SOME cool ideas but the execution was bad. Brisson I really haven't read
>>94959473
admittedly my Marvel reading has plummetted but I've replaced that with more creator owned comics instead of big 2

>>94959485
fuck no but only half of Marvel's books are shitty like that
both companies publish about 60 comics at any given time and about half of them are going to be substandard shit and half assed attempts to appeal to different audiences
same as always
>muhhh company wars
>faggot who doesn't enjoy reading good comics but likes complaining about books he doesn't read anyways

>>94957037
ya but its 30% more bullet

>>94959141
>writer of recent Nova series
>bad
you need to reevaluate your existence
also PAD is still working for Marvel and all of Slott's non-ASM work is genuinely great

Mouse defense force is out today

>>94959837
Out to defend Maria Hill of all characters, no less.

>>94959882
everyone in the MU shits on her
plz no bully irl
she dindu nuffin

>>94959687
>all of Slott's non-ASM work is genuinely great
Which is exactly why his ASM work pisses me off so much.

>>94956001
>>94956034
these two pictures remind me why to live when I occasionally forget

>>94955208
She has the power of the mono-boob. Her breasts merge into one entity when in a tight outfit.

>>94959965
I see him on it as a good thing, him doing his worst work is still better than most writers in general
Like there's a half dozen Spiderbooks right now and for some god forsaken reason, ASM, being not very good, is still the best? RKV Peter is bland, Zdarsky isn't funny at all, Scarlett isn't what fans really wanted, SM/DP issue not by Kelly is terrible, Bendis is Bendis, Gwen is so slow
so Slott is basically keeping Peter from worse fates
it can always be worse

>>94958572
>Loveness
Did he get another book now that Nova is canned?

>Bunn
Isn't that the poor bastard stuck with the O5 right now?

>Duggan
Looks like he's at least trying with the GotG, which is a good thing, yes

>Spencer
Now that's just fucking bait

>>94960585
>Isn't that the poor bastard stuck with the O5 right now?
and the book is shit

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I really don't understand what the point of SHIELD is anymore. Like, they're not allowed to actually accomplish anything, so why even keep them around?

And for that matter, the strawman aspect doesn't make any damn sense, since of course the audience reading superhero comics is gonna be generally in favor of superheroes. Why do we need a strawman in the first place?

Really, SHIELD should go away. Let it die with what little scraps of dignity it may or may not have left. Just have them pack it up and be like "We're out. You got this.".

>>94961425

Arkham is never going to hold the Joker, why keep it around?

Comicbook convention. Shield serves a purpose. That purpose in serialized storytelling is to fail repeatedly, for the capes to save the day not the mere humans trying to do so.

>>94961731
>Sit back down, normies. We, the privileged elite will deal with this!
I suddenly see what Lex-fags are on about. But at least Clark has the utmost respect for law enforcement, and often works with them. Even when working with SHIELD, Marvel heroes feel the need to talk shit right in front of them.

>>94959304
>Maria Hill on Tinder
Pitch it to me

>>94961731
I loved how in a few first month of New 52 there were three big breakout attempts from Arkham. With two of them being pretty successful.

>>94962597
To be fair, Marvel law enforcement is incredibly shit, and it's that way by design. Take Carol basically hijacking US Law enforcement to enact a crazy crusade.

>>94962597
>privileged elite
Fucking firemen thinking they know how to put out a fire.
Fucking doctors thinking they know how to heal people.
Fucking Superheroes thinking they know how to fight threats that police and the military has never been able to handle.

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>>94955208
She's suffered too much.

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>>94963022

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>>94963046

>>94962855
Fuck off. Every time non-powered folks so much as try to deal with super powered threats, the "heroes" chastise them, as if it's not their place to dare try and defend themselves.

>>94962820
They're only shit because they're written to be shit. And no, I don't buy that excuse that if cops and SHIELD were effective, then superheroes would be pointless. Both can be effective without negating the other.

Oh wait, no they can't, I keep forgetting we live in a world where everyone has an either or mindset, and there's no fucking balance or nuance whatsoever.

>>94963166
>Every time non-powered folks so much as try to deal with super powered threats, the "heroes" chastise them, as if it's not their place to dare try and defend themselves.
This has never happened.

>>94963166
>Every time non-powered folks so much as try to deal with super powered threats
>what if we illegally put all the supervillains in the same prison.
>that way when there's inevitably a jailbreak all the supervillains can break free and have a grudge against society.
>this plan is so good that it's gonna be the only plan we ever use.

>>94963281
It's reaching parody levels by now.
>can't kill them, that's wrong
>can't brainwash them, that's wrong
>can't feasibly contain them long term, which is probably wrong somehow anyway
WELP, out of options! Guess all that's left to do is bend over and take it right up the ass from these marauding psychopaths.

Again, until the spandex community can offer some reasonable alternatives, they can shut the fuck up.

>>94963717
The problem isn't the cape community, it's entirely on SHIELD.

>>94963717
>>94963785
The superheros are the only ones who know what they're doing, they are the ones who are repeatedly and consistently shown to be able to effectively ha dle the threar and most importantly superheroes have shown to be the ones who met law enforcement halfway.

>>94963885
oh, that's why so many superheroes die fighting stupid villains

>>94964044
Those stupid villains usually being too much for the entire police force.

>>94963717
>>can't brainwash them, that's wrong
That is more than wrong, it's fucking retarded.
>>can't feasibly contain them long term, which is probably wrong somehow anyway
No you're just making shit up.

Maria's lived a hard life. Imagine being put in charge of the world's biggest spy organization because your boss is a weirdo has has constant WWII/Vietnam flashbacks and pretends he's a robot while also dealing with the stupidest fucking superheroes in any universe.

>>94964484
she deserves an ongoing where she just reacts to do stupid shit, more flabbergasted and angry every time

>>94964132
Oh please, you know full well someone would bullshit up a reason for why prison is morally wrong. Especially at current Marvel.

Also, how is changing someone's personality so they aren't evil anymore retarded? Yeah, it's fucked up, but I fail to see how it's inherently stupid.

Again, have you any alternate solutions to the super villain problem? Cause if so, I'd love to hear them.

>>94963022
Is this an edit?

>>94964820

Have they tried sending the supervillains to their own habitable planet? I mean, DC did it, so certainly Marvel has to copy it eventually, right?

>>94964484
>>94964559
That sounds kinda funny, actually. Under a decent writer, of cours.

>>94955208
i really hate how she was cast for the MCU

>>94964925
That could work, yes. I mean, sure Salvation Run sucked, but the idea was solid. Take all the super villains, dump them on some remote planet and let them run around like idiots.

>>94964820
>Also, how is changing someone's personality so they aren't evil anymore retarded? Yeah, it's fucked up, but I fail to see how it's inherently stupid.
Pleasant Hill, even disregarding the fact it went up in flames it directly lead into Cap becoming Hydra and all the shit, that's happening now.
>Again, have you any alternate solutions to the super villain problem? Cause if so, I'd love to hear them.
Put them in a secure prison with competent people in charge, no superhero would oppose that you're just claiming they will so your argument will look better.

>>94965608
Few faults in this plan.
>gathering the supervillains
>keeping the plan a secret till it's executed
>some supervillains can fly through space, teleport, build spaceship from nothing.
>the universe is big and other planets may not like us treating them like Space Australia.

>>94956131
good taste in men

>>94965608
space ships exist you idiot

Maria Hill x Victoria Hand OTP

why did they have to kill vicky

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>>94966270
This artist has a lot of Victoria Hand lesbian fan art. X-Estacado is his name and has Good taste.

>>94955658
I thought black Nick lead shield now.

she basically my favorite modern Marvel character because she's constantly surrounded by geniuses, sorcerers, psychics, time travelers and gods, yet she thinks she is the only one that knows best and everyone else is insane
I love it

>>94965784
>>94966245

At the very least for spaceships, you can get the superheroes to stop them. Or the forcefield around Earth (if it's even kept after Secret Empire). Or you can just blow them up for violating their exile.

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>>94956924
>Maria is cute. CUTE!

>>94965732
>Put them in a secure prison with competent people in charge

Name me one Marvel prison that hasn't suffered a major breakout. Electro cracked open The Raft by himself and it was underwater, any sort of "normal" prison would be easy fodder.

>>94965784
The simple solution would be to use the extraplanetary prison to house anyone who couldn't fly through space, teleport, or build spaceships from nothing. That would still account for a massive amount of supervillians.

>>94956131

I ship this. Scott is pretty much the guy a hardass woman would find hot regardless. Arguments that always end in bed breaking sex... assuming they make it to a bed.

>>94963065
Carol x Maria OTP.

>>94955208
>as of late

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>>94959453
I love Maria Hill, but SHIELD is shit until the real Nick Fury comes back.

>>94968432
It makes a lot of sense for them to at least be good friends.

>>94971496
SHIELD was getting shat on even when Fury was around. The organization as a whole exists solely to job to capes, it's just a matter of who gets to be the punching bag.

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>tfw Maria will never be allowed to win
>tfw the universe will bend over backwards to make sure that SHIELD is always in the wrong, and always ineffectual
>tfw the capes will be right ONLY because the writers say so
I swear, Marvel is staffed entirely by retarded hacks who don't understand how drama works. Like, at the very least you could let her do some cool shit, but no, not allowed. Fuck you.

>>94973782
>>tfw Maria will never be allowed to win
Yes because she's fucking retarded.
>>tfw the universe will bend over backwards to make sure that SHIELD is always in the wrong, and always ineffectual
The universe ain't doing that Shield just sucks ass.
>>tfw the capes will be right ONLY because the writers say so
No they're right because Shield is full of incompetent morons who have no idea how to do their jobs.
It takes a takes a lot of denial to pretend Maria isn't complete shit.

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My only issue with Maria is the sheer inconsistancy of how she's meant to look.

I know every artist has their own style, but surely characters like Maria should have a framework you're to work from right?

Not going from THIS

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>>94973940
To THIS

>>94973940
>>94973949
She should be Latina. EMH was her best look.

>>94973940
Top one looks like Catwoman

Shit IS that Catwoman?

I now want to see Hil quit shield, open that bakery and then see everything get even worse because while shields not the best at its job things will get even worse without her at the helm.

>>94974047
>things will get even worse without her at the helm.
Hahahahahhahahahahaha!

>>94955943

Just like she was right about that planet shield?

>>94957329

Authoritarian fags make me laugh.

Can't stand Maria, but goddamn is she fucking hot.

>>94973973
EHM? SHOW ME

>>94974179
That she is, that she is.

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>>94973973
>>94974179
She had so many great ass shots in EMH. Sorry for the ants pic, what I found on short notice.

That show was great for any ass men.

>>94974047
I wanna see her open up that bakery and find out that retiring to a bakery is actually like the go-to master spy retirement plan so the world of top-tier professional baking is basically no different to being a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.

Cook-offs with ex-Spetnaz monster men, race to the unique saffron of the Vishanti, having to hire Quake and Jimmy Woo to be front-facing staff for security, finding out the secret of Dum-Dum Duggan's Battlefield Souffle. You get the picture.

>>94966466
Reminder Bendis killed off Vicky Hand just because he didn't want anyone else to use her.

File: X_Estacado_Victoria_Hand_X_x_23.jpg (173KB, 566x800px) Image search: [Google]

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>>94974235
this is why we can't have nice things

>>94974227
>>94964559
Now I don"t know which I like more

File: Maria Hill10.jpg (80KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

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>>94974192

>>94975679
I dig this, OH Earth's Mightiest Heroes, I remember now.

Where Tony Stark sounds like Jack Black, but hey they got a decent Maria, kinda makes sense with the name to be Half-Latina.

Also for boners.

File: Maria Hill11.png (799KB, 1014x722px) Image search: [Google]

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>>94975887

>>94976067
Aios mios, get a drawfag do so sommin

File: Maria Hill09.jpg (100KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

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>>94976870
EMH is a few years old, mate.

>>94976067
I remember her having a pretty great ass.

Jan was still best girl on that show though

>>94973883
>Shield is full of incompetent morons who have no idea how to do their jobs.
Sounds like every government operation. Hey-o!

>>94973949
MARIA WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU

>>94976913
ik I just don't see Latina Maria around

>>94975887
>Earth's Mightiest Heroes
No, it's
>Extra-sexy
>Maria
>Hill

>>94977548
>>94976067
>>94976870
I wanna draw Latina Maria, any hot latina clothes suggestions?

File: bookoflife2.png (434KB, 636x352px) Image search: [Google]

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>>94978144