Best Aunt May Parker ever?

>>94829922
She's definitely the hottest Aunt May ever

>>94829922
I think she is very attractive and would have unprotected sex with her.

>Hey Peter, ara ara~

>>94829922
>making Aunt May younger and hot because reasons
>skipping Uncle Ben's death
Fuck Spider-Man Homecoming.

>>94830033
>[hugs aunt tightly]

>>94829922
In all seriousness, it simultaneously does and doesn't make sense to cast Marisa Tomei as Aunt May. On the one had, May has always been portrayed as being elderly as fuck. On the other, why has she always been portrayed as being elderly as fuck despite her likely being in her fifties at most?

Especially if you're a sick bastard who likes to pretend Trouble is canon for shits and giggles.

>>94830082
>Wanting another RESPONSIBLITY OOPS YM UNCLE FATHER FIGURE GOT SHIT BETTER SNIFFLE A BIT THEN TAKE OUT MY OENT UP RAGE ON RANDON CRIMINALS
why

>>94829922
Original>Homecoming>Amazing

Granny Aunt May never makes any sense.

>>94830213
Maybe uncle ben is a brother to peter parker grandpa and not father.

>>94830197
Because it's character's fucking origin story? That's like asking the DCCU doesn't retcon Batman's parents' murder.

>>94830134
As a kid, I always assumed Ben was in his twenties when Peter's dad was born, and Peter's parents had Peter when they were in their forties.

>>94830262
Anon, you're the only one I've met who isn't sick of seeing Uncle Ben die in every reboot.

I always saw Elderly May as another silver age relic.Spider-Man had its out-there moments, but it always strove to be more grounded in realism (and thus more relatable) than other comics of the 60's and 70's. Keeping May elderly, and thus too frail of constitution to survive the shock of learning Peter's secret, gave them a semi-solid reason to keep up the silver age conceit of the secret identity, even when keeping May in the loop would probably have solved a lot of his problems.

Making modern May younger just makes sense. She doesn't have to be old because secret identities are out, for the most part, so there's no reason Peter HAS to keep his- in fact, it makes for more narrative possibilities if he doesn't, which was why Homecoming ended the way it did.

>>94830290
I'm not sick of it, no. Mainly because Amazing Spider-Man fucked it up by having Ben not say his iconic line.

Didn't see the movie.
Wish she would cut her hair and gray up a bit for the role.

>>94830082
>skipping Uncle Ben's death
Wasn't one of the major concerns before the movie came out that they would redo Ben's death again?

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Why were they so old? Was Richard Ben's kid brother?

>>94830231
Then that would be Great Aunt May.

I knew and visited my father's mother's sister and her husband. Which were my father's aunt and uncle, and my great aunt and great uncle.

>>94830262
It's pointless and redundant
Nobody wants to see Uncle Ben die for the third fucking time
It takes away from seeing Spiderman be Spiderman
Granted, this Spiderman wasn't very experienced and so never threw an actual punch, but at least it made sense because he was either way just starting out
Unlike Garfield's Spiderman who just immediately knew how to make complex website and fighting styles and shit
At least McGuires Spiderman had to LEARN
Holland's is implied that he's still learning just from how naive he is

>>94830361
Maybe? There's really no other possible explanation for that besides lolcomics.

Speaking of.
>Spider-Man is supposed to be the "grounded" and "relatable" superhero
>his parents were secret agents
Uh huh. Because the average reader will totally be thinking about their spy parents disappearing while on a mission. Typical mom and dad!

That is to say nothing of the several chicks trying to hop on his dick.

>>94830358
I guess I just wanted to see done right since I was annoyed that Amazing Spiderman skipped Uncle Ben's "great responsibility" line. I honestly don't care about having to see something I've already seen. What I do care about is the MCU getting Spider-Man right, because this will be final film iteration of Spider-Man's origins until the MCU reboots itself. Who cares if the same story gets retold, as long as it's done well?

He knows a hero when he sees one. Too few characters out there, flying around like that, saving old girls like me. And Lord knows, kids like Henry need a hero. Courageous, self-sacrificing people. Setting examples for all of us. Everybody loves a hero. People line up for them, cheer them, scream their names. And years later, they'll tell how they stood in the rain for hours just to get a glimpse of the one who taught them how to hold on a second longer. I believe there's a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady, and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams.

>>94829922
I miss old aunt May.

>>94830343
Why would she? If Peter is a teenager, chances are that his aunt would be in her early fifties at most. People generally don't have much gray hair at that age and most women dye it anyway.

>>94829922
>knows Peter's identity
Nah

>>94830262
>retcon
Homecoming didn't retcon Ben's death. I guess the specifics could be different, but we have a pretty good idea Peter feels responsible for it and it did happen.

>>94830802
>but we have a pretty good idea Peter feels responsible for it and it did happen
I've only seen it once. If you're saying there's a reference to his Uncle Ben's death, I'll take your words for it.

>>94829922
Her tits seem to get bigger and bigger

>>94829922
I would have sex with Marisa Tomei

>>94830852
Ned asks Peter why Aunt May doesn't know and he says
>with everything she's been through [lately?]

It's even in Civil War,
>when you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you

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>>94829922
I don't know
The regular old one is so common.

So I think I will vote for the one were she is a Herald hunting Twinkies to feed Galactus.

Or the one that implied she was a retired Shield agent that knew about Spiderman the whole time. I loved how she "accidentally" fired that Harrier jets after burners blasting the bad guy to save Spiderman, could not stop laughing. when she "accidently" saved the day nearly half the time. But it kind of belittled Spiderman give how often it happened.

Still not sold on this sexy young version.

>>94830361
Never understand why the writers never fucking explored the Parker's extended family or Peter's maternal side.

>>94830197
>TAKE OUT MY OENT UP RAGE ON RANDON CRIMINALS
He also has the power of quips of repressed rage, the greatest power of them all!

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There is only one movie's aunt May.

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Is there some kind of twisted logic where we can get JK Simmons as JJJ again? Maybe inter-dimensional portals or something.

>>94830262
I think I'm talking for myself, but after two adaptations into movie series and one into an extended universe, I don't want to see Bruce Wayne's parents being murdered in the alleyway a fourth time, even if it's a key defining moment for Batman. Same goes for Muh Uncle Ben

>>94831807
JJJK Simmons is a universal constant.

>>94831664
>fiction in general giving a shit about the maternal side of a character's family
MUH FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!

>>94829922
She has no ass.

>>94831807
Too busy being Gordon.

Still I like the idea of making Michelle his daughter/granddaughter. Give her a character other than "Bitchy girl who spits venom at anyone."

>>94830082
>Wanting to see Uncle Ben die again

For what reason?

>>94830213
It kinda did back in the 60's, but making her younger fits better in modern day.

>Peter's got this hot lady all over him
>ffs they're even LIVING together
>still doesn't' fuck her,
Peter needs to quit fucking around and give May the business.

>>94833175
>Too busy being Gordon.
Yeah, that's gonna last long.

>>94830361
I remember reading that it's actually down to the artist fucking up in the first issue. He thought she was supposed to be his great-aunt, for some reason. So he drew her ancient and it stuck.

Might just be an urban legend thing, but with how comic artists work I wouldn't be surprised.

>>94833217
Technically they are not related, she was just his late uncle wife. no blood relation at all.

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>he's still posting 3d on /co/

>>94831760
Completely forgettable.

>>94830082
Skipping Uncle Ben dying was the best part of the movie... unless they made him black this time and he was lynched by racist sandman. Then it would have been hilarious.

Someone post aunt mays tits.

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>>94833346

>>94833252
>Technically they are not related,
Then why the fuck isn't he fucking her? There's NOTHING stopping him. She needs a man to love her, and who better than a Spider-Man!?

>>94833395
I don't remember this part of the movie

>>94833415
His radioactive semen would kill her, you fool.

>>94833519
it was before peter went to his qts house for the dance, he was nervous, afraid he'd cum too quickly so aunt may took it in both her hands and mouth and made the problem go away

>>94833553
What a great aunt

>>94833542
In the modern age, the spider isn't radioactive it's genetically altered. Therefore he won't have radioactive semen.
Besides, he's a scientist. Being a scientist means taking chances. And right now he needs to study the effects of his dick on his Aunt.

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>>94833596
Never doubt the ideas of a comic book writer

>>94833596
The effect is a pregnancy

>>94830361
I don't know, there are families with siblings 20 years apart. It's not that weird if you think outside of your weaponized autism-bubble for 5 seconds.

>>94833267
You are a fucking retard if you forgot her. Like an actual autist.

>>94833299
Edgy

>>94830377
See in my family all my great aunts and uncles are just called aunts and uncles.

>>94833707
It's pretty uncommon in families without many children.

Guys, it's pretty obvious why they made this Aunt May younger than a granny. This is the Marvel Cinematic Universe, people, they want to tell a million stories reusing the same characters over and over again, and people becoming too old to do parts, or worse, dying before their character is killed in a film, is not something Marvel or Disney wants to deal with.

Making Aunt May younger is a way to help fight against that possibility.

Homecoming's barrage of "Aunt May is hot" jokes is them trying to poke fun at it. "See? This isn't weird, we recognize she's younger and more attractive than an old lady, we're cool, we're hip."

>>94835399
>Marvel is owned by Disney
>Disney literally did a CGI Tarkin
>Disney literally did a CGI young Leia over old Carrie

Death doesn't matter, it's Disney not wanting to pay their estates royalty for use of their CGI image after their death.

>>94830779
Because it's hotter to me

>>94833175
So? Josh Brolin is both Thanos and Cable. Actors go where the money is.

>>94829922
by far the worst. they want her to be hot but made her look like the trippy treelawny bitch from harry potter three, the dinner scene was awkward as fuck, her helping him get ready for the dance had some pretty fucking incestuous tones okay, I like that, and she finds out his secret at the end. And says swear words.

And rejected Mr Stark hurting his ego so he turned back to goopy poosy paltrow.

>>94829922
If she's the best why isn't she helping Peter wash properly during bath time?

>>94834430
Same here.

I always assumed as a kid they were his parent's aunt and uncle, not their in-laws.

I don't think it was ever specified until much later. As others have said, it doesn't make sense for them to be so old if Ben is Richard's brother.

I really don't give a shit if it has more "narrative possibilities", because in the movie all it was for was so Tony could bang Aunt May. Her being old was a longstanding part of the Spider-Man mythos, even in Ultimate, and I'm sick of Hollywood douchebags thinking they're so much smarter than the original comics writers.

>>94831760
Amazings was completely forgettable. Homecomings was just jarring because of how young and attractive she was.
Raimis was great

>>94830082
>>94830197
I think that not having Uncle Ben there was a good shout, but they went too far the other direction. His presence was barely felt at all, which is a mistake for a Spider-Man this young

Nah the script doesn't give her anything to do so her startling good looks become her defining feature. Not saying Aunt May has to be elderly and infirm...but her defining feature should definitely NOT be how attractive she is. And the movie makes multiple jokes about it which only draws more attention to the fact that its her only discernible quality.

>>94829922
There's only one true Aunt May, and her name is Rosemary Harris.

>>94831760
Ay Peter saliste puta como tu abuela!

STOP MAKING AUNT MAY HOT!

>>94833267
How can one man be so wrong? She was a gem
>Slapping a banker for trying to steal a coin
>Hits Doctor Octopus with an umbrella for trying to hurt Spider-Man
>Dat "there's a hero in all of us" speech

>>94830334
"His iconic line."
Reread Amazing Fantasy #15

>>94836830
>it doesn't make sense for them to be so old if Ben is Richard's brother.

It happens. My friends nephew is only about a year younger than we where

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>>94829922
It's seriously weird that the Minimate version of her looks like Mary Jane.

>>94836891
Amazing's felt like an actual character (at least in ASM1); Raimi's May just existed to look old and be a burden.

>>94837070
I hear this argument a lot, and it's stupid.
>And a lean, silent figure slowly fades into the darkness, aware at last that in this world, with great power there must also coke great responsibility!

That's what the text says. Now it is shown directly after Peter lamenting about Uncle Ben. It doesn't say that Ben said it, sure, but the lesson is so directly tied with Ben that any other character saying it sounds ridiculous. Unless you want a voiceover doing it, it makes sense for Ben to state it since you're not going to slap text onto the screen. Also, the line is used countless times, generally in reference to Ben, and not in some retarded runaround way like ASM.

>>94837281
*come
Typo

>>94833519
>I don't remember this part of the movie
Gotta stay through the credits, dude. Sometimes patience is rewarded.

>>94829922
oh hey, Mary Jane's looking good in this film.

>>94830213
>Granny Aunt May never makes any sense.
It makes complete sense; Ben and Richard were born nearly a generation apart but shit like that happens especially with remarriages. Even Marvel's wikia is generally dark about Richard and Ben's parentage.

Of course, if you're retarded enough to read Trouble, you'd think Ben and Richard were practically the same age so Mary and May should be, too.

>>94829922
>Peter no dont come inside im ovulating today

>>94835311
>It's pretty uncommon in families without many children.
uncommon != doesn't happen but agreed with other anon who asks why Peter never thinks about this

>>94836993
"you're not Superman, you know"

>>94830573
>not a raimi nigger meme post

You exceeded my expectations, anon

I rubbed one out in the theater