What would the internet of 2017 have turned Dexter Douglas into?

>>94579057
Into a neet loser aka anon.

>>94579057
a massive tumblr faggot

>>94579057
An hero.

A furry pedophile scat fetishist

The same, but a villain and not a hero.

>>94579057
a vastly more powerful, impossibly more intelligent Freakzoid but also even MORE insane.

this is 90s internet compared to 2017 internet

its like comparing babby's first encyclopedia book to the entirety of wikipedia.

>>94579344
Seconded.

>>94579057
Freakazoid but even more chaotic and random

>>94579344
He'd pretty much have magic powers added to all of that now.

Chaos Magic

>>94579513
so Xavier Renegade Angel?

>>94579057
The Joker, at his most poorly written.

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>>94579057

>>94579057
a purple haired trans pseudo pan furry two spirit pedo sexual

>>94579344
>>94579513
>>94579534
I agree. The internet today is vastly more expansive and powerful but also more chaotic. If Freakazoid's powers are reflective of the internet he'd be a demigod... but would still prefer to go see a bear ride motorcycle with Cosgrove.

>>94579344
>>94580156
>also more chaotic.
Not really. Today's Internet has more weird, but the percentage of weird is much lower. Weirdness per post peaked somewhere in the 90s when the Internet wasn't a purely academic playground anymore, but wasn't full of normalfags, either.

the ultimate SJW

>>94580156
Freakazoid about to use his Chaos Magic to alter time and space. But Cosgrove has tickets to the Gilda Radner Experience and The Bear Unicycle Rally.

>>94579057
>What would the internet of 2017 have turned Dexter Douglas into?
A middle aged unhappily married man trying to convince his high school friends his life is fun and exciting.

2017 Freakazoid drives the villains crazy by debating politics with himself for hours on end

>>94579057
nah, today he would turn into a transexual

I would add shape-shifting to his power set.

>>94579057
Freakatrap

I'll always miss what the Internet was before it became a part of everyday life for everyone. The comparison of bringing railroads to the Wild West is hokey, but accurate. Our frontier was something special. Things were hard, things were backwards, but things were special. I don't disagree that changing things was overall better for everyone, but I always feel a lack of the life you used to be able to lead out here.

Anonymity is very important to me, and I don't just mean the 4chan kind. Everyone used nicknames, there was no "social media," there was a clear divide between who you were online and who you were offline--and which "you" is the real you depended on the person in question. We lost a lot of freedom when real names replaced online handles. At least we still have this place, as badly as it's declined since about 2013.

I definitely think a modern Freakazoid would be a vastly more intelligent being, but a lot calmer, almost zen, but completely incapable of focusing on one thing for more than a few seconds. Incoherent rambling, indecision, constantly shifting moods. I feel like he'd evoke Robin Williams characters, like Genie, who is already pretty close to classic Freakazoid.

louder, angrier, and with more attitude

>>94582181
Doesn't help the internet is turning into a big brother state with google, youtube and varoius other companies advocating censorship.

I miss the times your greatest worry was seeing your favorite webcomic stops updating or the anime site you were watching goes down.

As for Freakazoid, he'd be more sadistic than happy.

>>94579057
He'd be Meme-Man, the hero of Reddit and would save the minorities from the oppression of the white male with his super meymey powers such as dat boi, woah, trollface, pepe or lenny face.

>>94582181
>as badly as it's declined since about 2013.
Try 2008.

>>94580671
This. Anyone who thinks today's internet is weirder than the early internet wasn't there to see it. Today most of the traffic is normalfags posting selfies with their fucking food or whatever. And all the illegal stuff is gone.

>>94583865
Not even that. Most traffic today is Netlix, YouTube, PornHub, etc., i.e., glorified cable.

>>94583918
Hmm. I don't even like to think about it. People will
>sekrit club
about 4chan but I remember when the whole internet really was a sekrit club of nerds and weirdos. And it was considerably fucking better without all the normalfags.

>>94582181
>I don't disagree that changing things was overall better for everyone
I do.

>>94579057
Movie Bob

>>94581182
>transexual

*transsexual

>>94579057
Us

>>94583865
God, I still remember the original 4chan memes.

These days even the stupidest meme has some kind of context. There was literally no point to half that shit. What the fuck was dsfarg about?

>>94584327
>The greatest irony is that without all the normalfags, the internet was actually a lot tamer

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>>94582181
>Anonymity is very important to me, and I don't just mean the 4chan kind. Everyone used nicknames, there was no "social media," there was a clear divide between who you were online and who you were offline--and which "you" is the real you depended on the person in question. We lost a lot of freedom when real names replaced online handles. At least we still have this place, as badly as it's declined since about 2013.
I grew up being told to never touch a computer screen. Now you can't use half the shit out there without putting your gross fingers on it.

I grew up being told never to put your personal information out on the internet. Now I'm weird because I don't want to.

>>94582977
>Doesn't help the internet is turning into a big brother state with google, youtube and varoius other companies advocating censorship.
They should. Fuck it. That shit needs to stop showing up literally everywhere. All that racist bombastic bullshit was only ever funny on 4chan. The moment it started infecting the rest of the internet was when it became unbearable. It's like seeing your high school science project potato battery becoming sentient and going out to stand on the street corner and rant about how much it knows the truth about the world in the most insipid and pedantic way and it keeps dropping your name and you just want the fucking thing to shut up but it's achieved asexual reproduction and you'll never stop it now.

I don't know where that metaphor went but fuck it. I don't care anymore.

>>94585112
>All that racist bombastic bullshit was only ever funny on 4chan. The moment it started infecting the rest of the internet was when it became unbearable. It's like seeing your high school science project potato battery becoming sentient and going out to stand on the street corner and rant about how much it knows the truth about the world in the most insipid and pedantic way and it keeps dropping your name and you just want the fucking thing to shut up but it's achieved asexual reproduction and you'll never stop it now.
I think you're giving 4chan far too much credit for things normalfags were doing over tabloid newspapers in bars long before they ever heard of the internet. People were already frustrated ignorant bigots before the internet allowed them to share that with a wider audience than their drinking buddies.

This is why I don't think 4chan has really influenced the wider net, we've just become more normal. Who here even gave a shit about politics back in the early days? Hell, who even cared about the real world? I came here because the real world pissed me off and I wanted to forget about it (fat chance of that now) and laugh about stupid shit and talk about anime.

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>>94584973
>dsfarg
fgsfds

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>>94585112
>I grew up being told never to put your personal information out on the internet.
You're young.
>All that racist bombastic bullshit was only ever funny on 4chan. Blah blah blah.
Let's face it, you're saying this because you are a moralfag. Racist bombastic bullshit has been funny since the Internet heard of pic related.

>>94585366
>This is why I don't think 4chan has really influenced the wider net
A lot of the things I see on the mainstream Internet now were things I saw on 4chan years ago. Either those things are born here or we're some of the first to adopt them.

4chan has become a lot more normal though, I'll give you that.

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>>94585366
>People were already frustrated ignorant bigots

>>94579057

Look in the mirror and you will see
Dexter Douglas has turned into ye

>>94585732
Oh yes, silly me, I forgot. This is 2017 4chan where politics and the real world infect everything and every board, and to be anything other than a social conservative is to be TUMBLR, the worst pariah status imaginable. Now everyone thinks I'm a beardy glasses wearing numale, how will I ever live down the shame?

Oh wait, I'm anonymous.

>>94585399
No, the other one, with the red mascot on the motorbike.

>>94585816
To be fair, you probably are a numale. You write indignantly like a woman.

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>>94584973
(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

This thread is making me miss when everything wasn't so political and people didn't take the internet seriously.

>>94585589
This will always be funny, it's legendary

>>94585589
Ugh, you're a goon, aren't you.

>>94585986
Your buzzword meme sure show him

>>94586514
>he isn't a goon
lmao

>>94579534
Well he was learning telekinesis so his show wouldn't get canceled...

>>94586787
>he wasn't a goon
is respectable;
>he isn't a goon
is ridiculous in the current year.

>>94579057
A racist transexual that jacks off to anime girls

>>94587229
>SomethingAwful still exists
>So does YTMND
Jesus christ, why though?

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>>94579057
A little girl.

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Mark Zuckerburg

>>94588569
What a horrifying image.

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>>94579057
Better question: What would it have turned Gutierrez into?

>>94588681
Reddit

>>94588569
Less shit and lots of morons on Social Media. Shocker

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>>94588681

>>94588569
What fucking Microsoft websites are people visiting more than Facebook? Or is that traffic just people downloading the constant stream of Windows updates?

>>94588745
>Less shit
You mean MORE shit, surely?

>>94588607
I know. Who the fuck still uses Yahoo?

>>94588801
Its likely traffic analysis so yea its a bullshit graph.

>>94588801
Well less poorly made shit and just concentrated well made shit.

>>94588801
No they mean Microsoft.com
It gets a shitload of traffic but it's for things like computer support questions (How do I X on Windows /7/8/10 etc) or downloading updates and software. People don't browse it like social media.

>>94588841
Japan.

>>94588925
>going to Microsoft for Windows support
Normalfags really are thick aren't they?

>>94580671
Freakazoid 2K17 would have extreme Disassociative Identity Disorder instead of normal cartoon insanity. One second he'd be cursing Cosgrove's name and the next he'd be brutalizing anyone who even looked at Cosgrove funny.

>>94589023
Imagine trying to get Mac support. Literally everything you'll find is a paid shill talking about how there couldn't be a problem because the program is perfect, or offering to sell you a way to fix it.

>>94587295
>racist transexual
Literally perfect.

>>94589036
I remember simply trying to find out if you could still get the full leather cases for iPads (my dad liked his old one and couldn't find another) and Christ, Apple fanboys must be some of the most obnoxious people in existence. Someone had already asked the question on an Apple forum and most of the replies were along the lines of
>No, you can't, but why would you want one?
>Apple were right to discontinue those cases, I much prefer paying almost twice as much for separate silicone back and front covers
The poor guy who asked the question was just trying to explain he liked the leather cases and thought it was a shame he couldn't get them any more, but clearly any slight against Apple's good name was too much for these people.

>>94579127
Wasn't he already that?

>>94589888
He was involved in education.

>>94588002
YTMND really is impossible to explain to people who grew up with Youtube

>>94579274
And a real human bean

>>94579057

Pepe

>>94589962
It was basically /webm/.

>>94588569

>yahoo

heh.

>>94590027
God Forbid

>>94584973
Back then you could legally get cheese pizza mailed to you, the internet was an afterthought