Can I get the low-down on this? Also, religious cartoon thread.

>>94544707
mother is a killjoy

veggie tales is Christ-kino

>>94544707
>religious cartoon

If it ain't Veggie Tales don't bother.

You're making Jehovah sad, /co/

These are some tasty comments but I still have no fucking clue what this cartoon is about.

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only religious centric cartoon i'd watch

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>>94544707
I have this on DVD

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>>94544830
It's about how the mom got colonized because Jehova willed it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuMSqz2L90A

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step aside fags literally the only good religious animated movie coming through

>>94544707
>HURRRRRRR DUUUURRRR STOP HAVING FUN JEHOVAH HATES FUN

>>94545136
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnk52bU92oE

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This one has the best God

>>94545137
>Choosing Christendom over the Tuatha de Danaan
Nah

>>94545281
...and Aisling's magic wolf puss.

>>94545281
>>94545381

It's a movie about connecting with the divine, about channeling the beauty of a higher power to drive back the darkness and chaos of primordial superstition. Though I'm not surprised the main takeaway for the degenerates on /co/ is wolf cunny

>>94545691
I think your priorities are a bit skewed. There's nothing more important than cunny.

>>94545691
>Bend over backwards for a mortal
>He sides with the religion that outright denies your divinity

>>94545691

>this is what Christcucks actually believe

>>94545075
what is that title? why are those random lines around "the"? _the | greatest miracle?

>>94545136
>"Is this toy magical?"
>"Mmhm."

I still after all these years do not understand this. It's a hunk of plastic shaped like a wizard. It isn't a wizard.

>>94545869
they tried to make a cross with the G and M

>>94545869
I guess it's supposed to be a cross. It's a movie about how you must go to mass and confess your sins to a priest to avoid Hell.

>>94545944
Fuuuck me, that'd take hours.

>>94544707
Is this the one where she says gays aren't allowed in heaven, or the one where she throws out a kid's toy that he got as a gift because it was the devil, or is this a new one I don't know about yet?

>>94545774
Because the wolflet knew from her own experience how people suffered under the chaotic rule of the Fae. Hell, the spiritual successor/maybe sequel even delves into this, showing how the spirits of old have been dying off slowly and ending with them separating from mankind entirely.

>>94545811
Not even a christcuck. I just enjoy the theme of mankind rejecting the chaos of superstition and connecting with a constructive higher power, even one they've imagined, to bring order and beauty.

>>94545889
If I could play devil's advocate, I think what's troubling the mom is that it represents and symbolizes magic, and that even if it's not literally magic, that that's bad enough. Kind of like having a problem with somebody waving around a confederate or a nazi flag and the flag waver says "what's the problem? I'm not actually enslaving or systematically killing anybody." It's about what it stands for and is associated with.

I still think she's a bitch for not letting the kid keep the toy and don't really see why anybody wants to worship a god they think has a problem with a dumb fucking wizard toy.

>>94546162
I SEND THE SWARM I SEND THE HORDE THUS SAITH THE LORD

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Not actually from the bible of course, but then plenty of christians still believe it.

Who likes magic, /co/: Jehovah or Satan?

>>94544707
I just realized how fucking huge the boys head is. Anyways, someone post the lewds

The very best cartoon ever aired on a religious broadcaster, and it hardly ever had people going to church.

>>94545990
I think they're okay with if you just get the biggest most important ones out of the way with a quick summary. God already knows what you did either way, of course, so I suppose it's just the gesture of confessing that counts? I unno this stuff is all foreign to me.

>>94546132
Let's not forget that the toy wasn't even his, but his friend's.

Someone's gonna get pissed over that.

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>>94546306
Wrong picture

>>94544707
>there’s porn of the mom out there
My dick can only get so hard

>>94546320
Alright but I would be confessing the lust and sloth stuff for like 30 minutes minimum. Like, fuck, how does loli bestiality not result in an instant hell ticket?

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>>94546243
Why not both?

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>>94546162
Literally the best looking animated feature ever.

>>94546359
Well you have to say you're sorry (and mean it) and give it up (for realsies) and then God forgives you, I guess.

Also that "seven deadly" shit was made up by one pope and later thrown out by another, it really doesn't count.

>>94546441
F-for realsies?

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>>94546364
>The Tragedy of Man

Now this was some kino tier religious movie.

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>>94546460
For really realsies.

You gotta give up fucking the puppies. Even outside of the religious thing, as an anon, I'm telling you I think you should just try and not fuck puppies or whatever it is you've been up to.

>>94546330
Oh geez I do forget that part. I thought the kid had received it as a gift and didn't need to return it.

Does throwing away something that you borrowed and agreed to return count as stealing? Isn't stealing something you're not supposed to do according to this whole christianity thing?

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>>94546560
You people never let me have any fun.

how many demons do you think bible man could take in a fight
i think at least eight

>>94545180
>one man and one woman

Didn't that Abraham guy get to fuck two women? Do some guys get an exception if they have a super special direct link with god, or what's up with that?

>>94545075
Not gonna lie, this looks badass. Is it?.

>>94545137
See >>94546162

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>>94545136
>>94545180
>>94544707
Sophia is pure sex

>>94544707
Jehovah witness here. Ask me anything.

>>94545189
>those "not Disney" characters
>some sexy anthro cat women
>random black guy
>two people disguised as animals
>one of them's a goblin
[/spoiler](or a Jew, it is a Christian movie)[/spoiler]
>crazy Noah

Did I miss anything? It looks like it could be funny.

>>94546910
were you diddled as a kid and did you like it!?
Real question, what's the difference between you guys and other christian fanatics?

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>>94546933
Oh shit, I just saw the mythical animals off to the side!

>>94546910
I already posted mine. >>94546757

>>94546910
Ur mom hot?

>>94546950
No.
And the main difference is we believe God's name is Jehvoah and his Jesus dad, and we don't believe in hell but that every one will one day be resurrected on a paradise Earth. Those are the main two differences.

>>94546985
He had two wives because at the time that was normal. Isn't really connected to religion just how it was at the time from my understanding.

>>94545075
>from the visual writer of Pocahontas
>from the visual writer
>visual
>writer

The fucking fuck?

>>94547066
>Those are the main two differences.
aren't you not allowed to celebrate christmas?

>>94545136
That was such abusive parenting. I hate witnesses. My friend escaped the witnesses and she has never looked back. Nothing about them makes sense.

>>94547066
does your religion offer an answer as to were the fuckload of extra people go when they get ressurected ?

>>94547066
Well, why did the status on how many wives a guy can have change? If God's cool with it if it's okay in your time period, why can't we enter a new time period with a new normal status for marriage?

>>94547110
That's link to use not wanting to celebrate traditions from other religions. And most commonly practiced holidays are linked back to other religions and pagan practices.

>>94547122
On Earth I guess. We have enough room. But technically their is no clears answer.

>>94547048
Most people say she is but I'm not posting pics

>>94547066
>his Jesus dad
Don't all Christian branches believe that?

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>>94547158
>I'm not posting pics

>>94547158
>room. But technically their is no clears answer.
i dont think we do unles its like that thing where the entire earth could stand on new york

>>94547158
>That's link to use not wanting to celebrate traditions from other religions
what

are you allowed to celebrate christmas or not

>>94547066
DID YOU WITNESS JEHOVAH

>>94547133
I don't know they never talk about that subject in the Bible that much.

>>94547191
That's a typo should say "he's Jesus dad." And most christians from my understanding believe in the Trinity where Jehovah isn't even mention and Jesus is the main God.

>>94547221
I remember reading somewhere we're everyone could live in like 25% of the USA with their own plot of farm land and a basic ranch house. I don't remember all the details but it was around those line.

>>94547066
In regards to the whole wizard doll thing, what exactly is the deal with magic? Because in order to assume magic in an of itself is wrong, you have to
a)believe magic is real
b)believe it can be used in a manner that affects the physical world in a way you find offensive

Then again this is all predicated on a belief in a mystical sky man making sure you behave, so what do I know?

>>94545180
>jehovah wants you to be his friend
>but you have to follow his standards
every time

what an awful friend

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So. Anyone remember Adventures in Odyssey? Yeah me neither.

https://kimcartoon.me/Cartoon/Adventures-in-Odyssey/Episode-A-Stranger-Among-Us?id=59670

>>94547240
No because Christmas started out as a Pagan holiday and wasn't concerted to being a Christian holiday until somewhere in the 1800's. So because of its roots we don't celebrate it. Sounds like it sucks but it never bothered me. My parents would make up for it by getting me presents randomly throughout the year

>>94547260
I agree it's a weird name.

>>94547290
The Bible simply states to avoid practicing Magic. My guess is to avoid trying to practice magic linked to other Gods like in Prince if Egypt with the two priests. But I still play games like skyrim so whatever. That part is a weird grey line area in my head that's hard to define.

>>94547279
>And most christians from my understanding believe in the Trinity where Jehovah isn't even mention and Jesus is the main God.

your understanding is wrong

all christians believe in the trinity. some are conflicted about whether the trinity is one entity--as in, God is also Jesus and the holy spirit AND they are all three separate entities at the same time--or if they are just three separate entities.

>>94547279
>believe in the Trinity where Jehovah isn't even mention and Jesus is the main God.

Most if not all Christians think of Jesus as the Son of God, sent to earth for our sins, yadda yadda. The Trinity was something made up later to explain Christ's divinity by essentially retconning him from Son of God (mortal man birthed by divine providine) to No-He's-Also-God-Too-Trust-Us-Guys God incarnate.

Either way its a crock of horseshit and detracts from what Christians should focus on: the words Jesus said. By all accounts he was a real historical man, but everyone gets caught up in "holy shit God walked the earth!" instead of his whole "seriously guys, stop being such dicks" message

>>94547066
I think you're forgetting the limited number of spots in heaven. The lack of birthdays or most holidays. Th inability to marry outside the church congregation. The refusal of blood transfusions. And I feel like there is something about modern medicine in general.

>>94547402
>No because Christmas started out as a Pagan holiday

ah, so your family is one of those that thinks intent doesn't matter.

>>94547378
I always loved Odyssey, all that Whit's End stuff, though I try to stay away from preachy religion stuff.

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>>94545136
The fuck, Mom? Oh well, guess you're gonna make him give the toy back to his frien-
>throws it away

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>>94544707
>religious cartoon thread.
okay

>>94547402
>Pagan holiday and wasn't concerted to being a Christian holiday until somewhere in the 1800's

More like the Romans had no record of Christ's exact birth date when they were switching over to the Church, so they basically went "Hey, we already have this big celebration feast at the end of the year, why not just use that to commemorate his birthday?". You're probably thinking of when it started becoming a commercial force, which molded it into what we know today

>>94547512
I never really got that part of the cartoon. If it goes against the message that the cartoon is trying to portray, fine, he can't have the toy. But isn't it just common decency to return it to the original owner? Although I guess by their logic, nobody should have wizard toys.

>>94544707
They made a fucking sequel to Sparlock?

>>94547572
there's like 30 of these cartoons, anon

>>94547438
>>94547444
I admit my knowledge is vary limited and I didn't know that. Interesting to hear.


>>94547447
While most true the marriage part isn't fully true. I know many people(including my mom) who married out side our religion. It's like when people try to marry inside their own race. You don't have to but people recommended it because it saves dealing with any conflicting culture problems, while in this case religious problems.
Like I said earlier most holidays aren't celebrated because of their roots to pagan holidays and traditions.
And the blood one is a main one I forget about. It's stated in the Bible that blood is sacred which is why we believe that we shouldn't put others people blood inside us. But we're okay with that one procedure where they clean your blood.
Medical wise I'm pretty sure are only problem is blood transfusions.

>>94547471
??

>>94547527
From what I learned(outside of my religion) Christmas started out as a pagan roman festival that was later turned into the celebration of Jesus's birthday.

>>94547582
Guess I'll kill myself

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>>94544707
But thats literal heresy
>>94544776
or 321 penguins

>>94544707
I was just thinking about Sparlock today

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>>94544707
I really loved this cartoon as a child. It was the only cartoon my dad would watch. My dad loved it so much he spends his free time writing morality tales. It's pretty much a staple of growing up in a southern CHRISTIAN home.

I wonder why there aren't any Moslem cartoons.

>>94547731
I wonder why you had to bring this into the discussion, /pol/ack

>>94547093
storyboarder doesn't sound as cool

>>94547740
No, I genuinely don't know. Doesn't the no artwork rule only apply to Mohammed?

>>94547624
I don't have time to run down the entire Nicene creed for you right now but a few points

>It's stated in the Bible that blood is sacred
Christs blood was

>Christmas started out as a pagan roman festival
common misconception descended from protestant anti-Catholic propaganda (sorry fellas) the Dec 25th date comes from an old belief that all righteous people die on the same day they were conceived.

>>94547731
because their shithole home lands don't allow expression besides public executions?

>>94547796
Don't be rude. I don't want my thread to be derailed.

>>94547402
>because Christmas started out as a Pagan holiday
Most major religious holidays did, why is that even remotely important?

> until somewhere in the 1800's
Oh wow

Dude I have nothing against you but seriously read something your parents didn't hand you

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>>94545136
>Hey Caleb. Can I have my toy back?
>Sorry, my mom made me throw it away because she says that magic is of Satan and is against Jehovah. What time does the movie start again?

>>94545691
>>94545774
>>94545811
>Not realizing that Aisling validates Brendan's Christianity in that the forest's trees have the Christian triquetra on their bark the first and last times he meets her
>Not realizing the theme of the movie is that artistic creation and Christianity are both things meant to be shared with the world (Aiden's message) rather than defensively hidden behind a wall (Abbot's message)
>Not realizing that Brendan and Aisling's relationship is reminiscent of the Celtic Christian concept of the Anamchairde applied both to them as individuals as well as Catholicism and Celtic lore
Brainlets

>>94547731
>Persepolis
>The Breadwinner
>UAE's Bilal

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>>94547499
Same. The "Adventures" part is pretty cool, but the moral of that episode I posted particularly irked me.

>Remember kids! Don't let weird TV, movies, or books influence your actions! Unless, of course, it's the Bible...

Also the "Stranger" was a good guy who never tried to manhandle or molest Connie. I had my dick out for nothing.

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>>94547731
Who said there aren't?

>>94547810
You really picked a bad topic for that, man.

>>94547760
>No, I genuinely don't know
then why did you form it as a statement

>>94547938
this looks like it could actually be entertaining

>>94547938
>Not pictured: Mohammad
>because...y'know

>>94548040
It's from the people who brought you such animated classics as The Swan Princess (and its many sequels), The King and I, The Scarecrow, and Alpha and Omega.

>>94548120
The movie tries to get around it by mostly making it from Mohammad's visual perspective. So I guess in that portrait he's the unseen guy holding the camera.

>>94547927
>Remember kids! Don't let weird TV, movies, or books influence your actions! Unless, of course, it's the Bible...
There's literally nothing wrong with that

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>>94545281
And when the fuck have those windbags done anything? They got in like one real battle in thier history and that's it.

>>94548167
So is it in first-person?

>>94548348
I think there may be some scenes that Mohammad isn't in, so not completely? I unno.

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>>94546933
>some sexy anthro cat women
It was the point of the movie

>random black guy
Cam was the first black guy in the bible. He was cursed by Noe to be black and a slave. Yeah, good hate black people

Are there any Eastern Orthodox cartoons?

>>94547307
Technically, the idea of God wanting to be your friend is wrong. He wants to be your master, authoritarian father at best. The Bible is pretty clear about it, God knows what's best for mankind and he's often portrayed as a master or a father. Friendship implies an egalitarian relation and God doesn't want that.

>>94548509
>good hates black people
God*

>>94548509
>Cam was the first black guy in the bible. He was cursed by Noe to be black and a slave.
I'm pretty sure that was from the Expanded Universe. Noah's curse wasn't related to the color of the skin on the Bible.

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Remember that one time someone tried to make a movie having to do with Hinduism, and a whole bunch of Indians got pissed just because a white chick made it?

>>94548700
No. tell me more about it.

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>>94544707
>He wants cartoons that teach people to believe in a magical space wizard

I mean, i'm not saying religious cartoon can't have any artistic merits, it's just that the core message is detrimental to society and it teaches people to be obedient and not think for themselves

>>94548734
OP here. Please do not shitpost, I made this thread for discussion, not arguments.

>>94546910
Isn't the internet against your religion?
But seriously why is it that you guys claim to not celebrate birthdays and then show up at restaurants and places like chuck e cheese and demand the staff arrange a party on the spot on the day anniversary of your births?

>>94548726
They were really mad because she portrayed Rama accurately as a paranoid asshole who murders his perfectly loyal wife because some old dudes said "man she probably fucked the ten headed demon that kidnapped her."

>>94546162
We got to see that in church at some point. Shit was pretty neat

>>94544707
I wanna fuck the mom

>>94548748
I am participating in the discussion.
I criticize the nature of religious cartoons and i claim they teach kids bad things.

>>94548762
But you do it in a way that invites a lower level of dialogue and a degradation of the relatively peaceful thread.

>>94547923
>>Persepolis
>>The Breadwinner
Those were both made by lapsed muslims.

>>94545180
>Using TSA security restrictions as an example of standards that don't change.

>>94548794
What makes it a lower level of dialogue - the fact it has two opposing views instead of everyone agreeing with one another?

I mean, if you make a thread about religious cartoons, you should expect to see people who are going to criticize them.

And i am going to criticize them because cartoons that encourage kids to be obedient and not think for themselves are bad. kids should question the existence of a magical space wizard just like they question the existence of Santa-Claus.

And btw, taking about Santa-Claus, isn't it pretty disgusting how parents deceive their own children with misinformation and tell them Santa-Claus is the one who gave them presents? like really, i think parents shouldn't deceive their kids like that

>>94548880
Disagreement and criticism are fine, but when you talk down to religions and use a tripcode it certainly doesn't improve the thread.

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>>94548880

>>94548922
But my criticism of religious cartoons is directly related to the fact religion is bad, so i can only voice my criticism by pointing this out.

>>94548947
I would rather wear a fedora than believe in santa claus for adults.

>>94548953
saying things like
>fact religion is bad
is just fedora-tier.

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>>94547066
>we don't believe in hell
Damn, another thing about religion South Park got wrong.

>>94548974
Alright, and i said earlier, i would rather wear a fedora than believe in santa claus for adults.

Fedora is just a hat.
Believing in god is actually sacrificing your intellectual integrity.

>>94546757
The only reason Jews stopped being polygamous is because the Romans were against it.

>>94546757
Abraham fucking two women was explicitly against God's commands.
God told Abraham and his wife Sarah "yo you're old as fuck but you're going to finally have a kid because I say so"
Sarah rolls her eyes and says "yeah, sure. Hey Abraham, wanna fuck my young hot servant Hagar? She'll give you a kid"
Abraham jumps at the chance, has a kid with Hagar he names Ishmael, then Sarah conceives and gives birth to Isaac.
Then God's like "did I fucking stutter"

>>94549078
Abraham seems pretty lucky for not getting smited just for that.

I've got a confession to make.
I only come to these threads for mild nostalgia and to wait for the inevitable arguing. I don't actually remember anything about the bible

>>94549125
God didn't have a lot to work with at the time.
>>94549078
And the Sons of Ishmael proceeded to fuck up everything forever.

>>94546355
>porn
What the fuck is the title of these things anyway?

>>94547512
This always bothered me. What happens when Caleb tells his friend, the friend tells his mother, and his mother wants money for the stolen toy?

>"Oh, I'm sorry, but your demon child is now saved, that should be payment enough."

I wanna see the one where mom gets the shit beaten out of her.

>>94547723
Was funded, animated, and created by the LA PBS station. The irony is delicious! Also I too loved the fuck out of that show.

>>94544707
I used to love watching the morning cartoon shows on TBN. Mostly david and goliath and cartoons with different bible stories. What was the name of the one with the boy who lived in Moses' camp? I remember an ep where a guy was storing manna to sell it I think and it started to rot

>>94549125
God smiting people is pretty rare, if you run it against all the stupid shit people did. Lemme tell you a story.
David is the king of Israel, with the previous king's daughter Michal as his queen.
So one night David can't sleep so he goes out onto his balcony for some fresh air, and whaddayaknow he sees a California dime washing herself by moonlight. He asks one of his boys who she is, and he says "oh thats' Bathsheba, wife of Uriah the Hittite, one of our captains, great guy".
He decides he's gotta have her, has her brought to the palace, fucks her real good, and sends her away.
She comes back saying "I'm pregnant" (Robin checked) and David panics. Now, David is a crafty fucker, so his first instinct is to just get Uriah to fuck her and think it's his kid. But Israel is currently at war, and Uriah doesn't believe in getting anything his troops aren't, so even at the party David throws where David attempts to get Uriah to fuck his own wife he's like "nah bruh I'm good for tonight".
So David tries something a bit more permanent.
He gives the other commanders a secret order - put Uriah on the frontlines, then when the first push happens, everyone else take a big step back to ensure Uriah gets run through. And of course it works.
So Bathsheba has the baby. Then a prophet named Nathan shows up and calls David out on adultery, lying, and murder, in that order. And because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants, the baby will die soon (and it does - I'm betting one of the parents had something).
cont

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>>94549078
>Then God's like "did I fucking stutter"

>>94549253
Well, according to the bible God genocided all of humanity except for Noah and his family during the biblical flood, and he did not just genocide all humans - he also genocided all animals except for one pair from each species.

That makes the biblical god a worse villain than Hitler desu

>>94549312
Let him finish.

>Mom: Caleb, what toy is that?

>Caleb: It's Sparlock, the Warrior Wizard.

>Mom: Woah! A "Warrior Wizard."

>Caleb: Yeah, my friend gave it to me.

Why does everyone think that Caleb borrowed Sparlock from his friend?

Can someone explain Cherubs and other angels to me?

>>94549334
>Warrior Wizard
Wouldn't that be a Spellsword?

>>94549359
In my case, it's because anon said so and I took his word for it because I really don't feel like rewatching it.

>>94549253
So David ends up marrying Bathsheba (polygamy is not the law, but David's the king so no one fucks with him). He has a total of three kids:
>by Michal - first son Absalom, daughter Tamar
>by Bathsheba - second son Amnon
So Amnon falls for Tamar, because this really is like one of my Chinese cartoons. But he's rightfully ashamed of himself, and begins to avoid her. He hates himself so much he pretends to be sick so he doesn't have to be around her. His servant is like "dude just invite her to your room for some netflix and chill, it'll be cool"
So he calls Tamar to his room, he comes on to her, and she's like "that's disgusting and wrong, fuck off". But he's stronger than her, so he rapes her, then kicks her out.
CUT TO firstborn Absalom, who's so vain he never cut his hair until it became a nuisance for his neck to hold up, walking through the palace grounds. He sees Tamar bawling her eyes out
>hey sis what's wrong
>I was raped
>what
>by Amnon
>WHAT
So Absalom goes to their father ("my brother raped my sister" "WHAT") and waits for David to do something.
And he doesn't, for like 2 years.
So Absalom decides to take matters into his own hands, gets Amnon drunk at a party and murders him while he's too sauced to fight back. David then sends Absalom away.
Absalom eventually returns, but he's still technically exiled, so David won't speak to him. But he loves his dad, he just wants to talk to him. But no response, for 3 years.
Absalom gets fed up with how David is completely abusing and misapplying his power, and decides to stage a coup.
It doesn't work, and Absalom's army gets routed. Absalom flees on horseback, a small squad of loyalists in hot pursuit. Now remember that bit about the hair? Well it gets stuck on a low-hanging tree branch, pulling him off his horse, and the loyalists run him through with their weapons.
CUT TO David back on his throne after the battle. A messenger arrives saying the traitor has been found, and they bring in Absalom's corpse.

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>>94545137
I dunno, Tragedy Of Man was pretty good.
Give it a look.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZQfDUttYVA

I want to read a Sparlock comic, he looks fucking badass.

>>94549380
I think a lot of our modern perception of cherubs and angels has a lot to do with the evolution of their visual depictions in art that artists chose mainly because people with wings look cool and are present in other mythologies than anything actually canon.

>>94549395
As David walks through the valley of the shadow of death, he takes a look at his life, and realizes there's nothing left.
His first son is dead.
His second son is dead.
His daughter was raped.
All he can do is cry and say "O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you--O Absalom, my son, my son!"

>>94549316
Bibleman Beyond was a great thread

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>>94549398
Good taste, friend.

>>94549434
Good story.

>>94549480
You don't happen to know where to find a translated version, do you? I still haven't seen it in English or with subs.

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>>94549500
Personally, I rented it on youtube and it had subs.

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>>94549380
Angels are God's helpers. They don't actually have wings and apparently are all male as not a single female has been mentioned. Incidentally, they are apparently very attractive (possibly looking like females themselves). The Sodomites wanted to rape a pair of them.

As for Cherubs, they are first mentioned in Genesis, but were never given much description. It isn't until Ezekial are they given what they look like.

If you can make it out, this is what they look like. It's a bit of a mess. It's a few animal heads on a human body with wings and a wheal to the side with overlapping spokes.

>>94549513
Ah, I'll have to do the same then. Thanks.

>>94549525
Wha? Is the wheel a part of the animal headed winged person that floats there or is it a separate entity?

>>94549525
>Incidentally, they are apparently very attractive (possibly looking like females themselves). The Sodomites wanted to rape a pair of them.
This trap meme has gone too far

>Cherub
I'm just curious what they are meant to do. I know the holding up the throne thing, but nothing else.

>>94549554
Just wheels for the throne IIRC

>>94545075
>what you have never seen...from the place you have always been...prepare to see the unseen

wow.

>>94549554
>Wha? Is the wheel a part of the animal headed winged person that floats there or is it a separate entity?
Yes

If you read Apocrypha, Angels are all fucking chimeric eldritch horrors made of wierd geometry, burning wheels, and parts of animals

In the main Canon, Angels usually only manifest in human form, which is either beautiful and terrible to behold, or utterly mundane.

Incidentally, the Soddom and Ghamorra thing was actually about the rules of hospitality to travellers, not Gay Sex.

>>94549253
>>94549395
>>94549434
So in the Old Testament basically everyone in charge was a dick with God being THE dick? No wonder people prefer the New one.

>>94549359
>Mom: Woah! A "Warrior Wizard." Now Caleb, you know that magic isn't a real thing, right? You're just playing pretend with your toy?

>Caleb: Yeah, mom. I know. It's just a toy, it's not a real thing.

There, all done.

>>94549525

I assume Evangelion's angels are kind of accurate then?

>>94549649
Not accurate, but inspired by them. They don't just do generic angels - people with wings.

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>>94548767
I've learned that even the most flattering religious media can't help but include Gods/Prophets committing infidelity, murdering, having unnecessary paranoia, and even be involved with bestiality.

>>94549648
Heh. I actually had a moment like this with my dad once.

>>94549639
Basically, yes.

This is because they're actually not the same God, the old testament is about an ancient Mesopotamian war and mountain God the Jews worshiped, as they would not become monotheistic until centuries later, and they syncretically combined their old folk tales into Judaism which would become even more distorted with the arrival of a splinter cult called Christianity.

If you ask an apologist (this is the actual name for their actual field - Apologetics. This is what the Catholics called it, yes. Originally it was about apologizing for science, iirc) the behavior of these figures is meant to represent the fallibility of man and the ultimate forgiveness and mercy of God, that he constantly put up with this shit from Israel

>>94549692
There's parenting and there's being a control freak. The mom is the latter.

>>94549692
Ditto. Only weird thing my parents thought was that magic the gathering and D&D were the occult.

"Hey, you know magic doesn't not real, right? And if it did, it's probably evil?"

"Yep!"

"K, cool, have fun."

>>94549554
The wheel is part of the Cherub.

>Cherub
>I'm just curious what they are meant to do. I know the holding up the throne thing, but nothing else.

Pretty much. Better than the seraphim just fluttering around God singing "Glory, glory, to God in the highest."

>>94549648
I wasn't arguing against whether Sparlock was actually magic, but alright.

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>>94549639
>So in the Old Testament basically everyone in charge was a dick with God being THE dick? No wonder people prefer the New one.

Which is weird because they preach virtually the same principles.

Old Testament: It's ok to sacrifice, murder, rape, and pillage as long as you're a Jew.
New Testament: It's ok to murder, rape, and pillage as long as you a follow Jew laws.

>>94549714
>"Hey, you know magic doesn't not real, right?"

I think your parents needed the help, Anon.

>>94549724
Someone didn't read the NT at all
>you shouldn't be raping murdering or pillaging
>you also don't need to follow Jewish religious rules as far as circumcision and diet goes

>>94549728
I was mis-dispronunciating Anon, it's a meme you dip

>>94549698
I wonder, if that's the shit he tolerated, then what the hell were people up to in Noah's time that he decided it was better to just flush the whole thing down the toilet.
Or was it just more of the same but he promised to ease off on the genocide so he just puts up with it? Or was it just another Flood specfically? "Oh, don't worry. I won't kill off most of the planet ever again using that specific method"

>>94549720
>seraphim just fluttering around God singing "Glory, glory, to God in the highest."
You'd think that'd get annoying after a while

>>94549638
>apocrypha
it's in fucking daniel ezekiel and revelation, which are canon

>>94549793
It's canon that the people were Noah's time were simply That Bad.
Truly, these people were worse than Hitler.

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>>94544707
Does picrelated counts? Because plot is really good actually.

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>>94549698
That stuff pretty much become apparent both in the OT and NT when Yahweh views the deities of the Northeastern hemisphere (Mesopatamian, Greek, Meccan, Egyptian, and Vedic gods included) as real legitimate threats to his reign.

>>94549836
Dante's Inferno is tumblr-tier fanfiction.
>i'll put all the people I like in heaven
>and errybody I have beef with in hell
At least the vidya was honest about how Dante feels.
>book
Oh, that's Some Guy I Hate, and he's suffering in eternal torment! How awful! Poor guy!
>vidya
FUCK YOU GET BACK IN THE STYX WHERE YOU BELONG ASSHOLE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOoWgr0-at0

Judas & Jesus

shit quality but im a little surprised it's uncensored in full on youtube.

>>94549886
Speaking of Dante's Inferno, wasn't Limbo supposed to actually be a pretty chill place? With the only "punishment" being that it's not Heaven?
But I suppose slaughtering hordes of unbabtised babies does make for more exciting gameplay.

I had a friend whose parents were like that. He wasn't allowed to play Donkey Kong and they didn't keep milk in the house; he had all his cereal with water. I can't remember if the second thing was a religious deal, or everyone was allergic or what, but it was sure weird.

>>94548120
lulz

>>94544974
That's because it's the only one that's good.

>>94549927
Limbo was supposed to be supremely bland and empty, as existence without God is empty

>>94549946
>he had all his cereal with water
truly a fate worse than death

>>94549946
Veganism is an increasingly common religion yeah

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>>94548748
>I made this thread for discussion, not arguments.
That's a blatant fucking lie and you know it.

>>94550004
Vegans can't drink soy milk, or almond milk, or rice milk, or like fucking orange juice or anything? Gotta have all your cheerios with water for that authentic "soggy cardboard" experience?

>>94550006
i wanna pop that pimple

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>>94548947
>Ha, I posted a picture of a man in a fedora! That means I win! One at a time, ladies, one at a time!

>>94549749
>>you shouldn't be raping murdering or pillaging
That's a lie. Jesus makes sure to reinforce 613 commandments to his followers including the violent ones and the Abrahamic god continues to recruit infamously conniving/violent prophets just as he did in the OT.
>you also don't need to follow Jewish religious rules as far as circumcision and diet goes
Yahweh and Jesus did not say that. This was explicitly done to placate the gentiles during John, Acts, and Romans when the Semitic followers/copycats were feeling the pressure from inflating non-Semite populations of Arabia and the Mediterranean nations. Paul and the apostles knew that with the world changing people didn't like mutilating their genitals and being denied pork/fish food.

>>94548989
You've never even said anything about religions in the first place other than vague platitudes sounding like they came from a fourteen year old reddit kid.

>>94549848
Only insofar as they led the Israelites away from Him. The first commandment was kind of a recurring issue, but pagan tribes were threatened by the Israelites because they saw their God as a tangible threat that their gods weren't.

>>94550006
He just wanted the brown pussy

anyone remember christain anime?
Like super book and the flying house

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>>94549886
>He doesn't like the Comedy
>He doesn't realize that Inferno is fun but plebby and Paradiso is the true greatest canticle

>>94550055
>pagan tribes were threatened by the Israelites because they saw their God as a tangible threat that their gods weren't
That whole Jericho incident proves it was the other way around, buddy.

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>>94549981
And people who were born before Christianity was a thing or never heard of it go there by default.
That's what irks me the most about some more popular interpretations of the Bible. That "fucked" is humanity's default state and destination Hell is preset even before you take a breath. You don't get damned, you need to get redeemed and you should be grateful that God even gave you a Jesus-saves-you-if-you-believe loophole you fucking degenarate.
It's like Oglaf's Sithrak, but unironically and people say it's oviously right.

>>94550045
That's explicitly bullshit. Jesus said that it does not matter what goes into the body, but what comes out of the body.

>>94550118
That's actually a very contentious debate in religious debate and has been the cause of more than one schism. Some sects believe that God, being all knowing and existing in all time simultaniously, would know if you would have chosen to be saved had you had the opportunity, the same for unborn children etc, and you would be sorted into heaven or hell accordingly.

IIRC Catholic dogma is that Limbo is kind of like a waiting room where you wait for them to let you into heaven and is no more painful than an insufferably boring wait at the DMV

>>94550128
Mark 7:17-23New International Version (NIV)

17 After he had left the crowd and entered the house, his disciples asked him about this parable. 18 “Are you so dull?” he asked. “Don’t you see that nothing that enters a person from the outside can defile them? 19 For it doesn’t go into their heart but into their stomach, and then out of the body.” (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods clean.)

20 He went on: “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. 21 For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and defile a person.”

>>94550128
>Jesus said that it does not matter what goes into the body, but what comes out of the body.
T
hat loose quote was in Matthew 14-15 when Pharisees and the scribes were asking Jesus why his promoted eating habits were unhygienic. It wasn't a revoking of the Jewish dietary laws.

Please don't tell falsehoods on the internet where people can look this stuff up.

>>94550104
>Paradiso is the true greatest canticle
Dante literally writes himself having adventures in space with his waifu

>>94550211
Acts 10:9-16New International Version (NIV)

Peter’s Vision

9 About noon the following day as they were on their journey and approaching the city, Peter went up on the roof to pray. 10 He became hungry and wanted something to eat, and while the meal was being prepared, he fell into a trance. 11 He saw heaven opened and something like a large sheet being let down to earth by its four corners. 12 It contained all kinds of four-footed animals, as well as reptiles and birds. 13 Then a voice told him, “Get up, Peter. Kill and eat.”

14 “Surely not, Lord!” Peter replied. “I have never eaten anything impure or unclean.”

15 The voice spoke to him a second time, “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.”

16 This happened three times, and immediately the sheet was taken back to heaven.

>>94550128
He was saying that because he didn't wash his hands, numbnuts.

>>94550214
Sounds good

>>94550233
The Divine Comedy is the most beautifully written fanfiction ever made

>>94545281
stfu heathen

>>94550128
See
>>94550211
>>94550222
In both the OT and NT, the covenant had to be maintained by not eating the stupidly specific foods forbade in the commandments.

>>94550224
>The record of the supposed Savior, who regularly broke Jewish customs and was so radical he united all of the mainstream sects of Jewish priests against him, goes out of its way to tell of Jesus' statement applicable to one of the essential teachings of the day
>jk it's really just a non-sequitur about Jesus having peepee on his hands lol

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>>94550246
I just don't count it as fanfiction. Not the way, say, the Aeneid is fanfiction, and even that's a more tenuous thing.

One might argue that there's a fanfiction element to most of Western literature, insofar as it builds on earlier stories and commonly known characters. One might argue that it's only the past 150 years, with our copyrights and trademarks, that have so clearly demarcated "fanfiction" and "real fiction." One might argue that WE'RE the weirdos, not the rest of the history of storytelling in the West.

>>94547402
>Christian holiday until somewhere in the 1800's
More like in 1038AD when Santa shown up by the 13th century.

We had to watch the Ramayana anime for when reading it in high school, and it was alright as I recall.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1IzEro-MIxE

>>94550449
Not a anime as it's not Japanese.

Heres what I had to watch when I was in High School.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3r2kqs

>>94550488
>Japanese animation, animated by Japanese

???

>>94547402
>My parents would make up for it by getting me presents randomly throughout the year

The fact that your parents felt they needed to make it up to you at all means they felt guilty about denying you what has essentially become a family holiday as opposed to a strictly religious one.

>>94545137
This was religious?

>>94544707
If they hate wizard toys then theyd really hate my skeletor figure

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>>94550569
Fuck, forgot image

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le religion

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>>94550569
>>94550585
That's a cool toy but what would Jehovah say?

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>>94550685
Fuck jehovah, the true master of the universe is he man https://youtu.be/Hnjdq32u-MU

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>>94550699
Why is one of the he mans blue?

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>>94550709
Thats faker, skeletors evil robotic he man clone

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>>94550709
>>94550724
See, hes got robot parts

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>>94550724
just so happens to look like their mpreg love child
Skeletor das gay

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>>94550732
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED, A GOOD SKULLFUCKING
https://youtu.be/lMGfENjTFjw

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>>94550772
Is this the official otp of /co/?

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>>94550784
Well that was on my list of things i didnt need to see today

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>>94550790
Could be worse

>>94550806
Good point, and since this threads going no where, who wants to see my blasphemous he man castle?

>>94549714
So anon, ARE YOU READY TO RPG!

>>94550959
I browse /tg/, so no

>>94545075
Why would they use hell in a promotional dvd for christianity? Its just like if someone talked about carbon emissions and how bad they are for the enviroment when trying to sell you an SUV. Also, whats the deal with the fat guy that theyve shadowed to look dark and grimey?

>>94545137
>/pol/ meets tumblr: the movie

>>94551635
Whats so /pol/ about it?

>>94550055
Want me to be less vague?

Imagine there was no religion. humanity wouldn't be held back by outdated beliefs from thousands of years ago. there wouldn't be a conflict between islam and christianity. the crusaders and isis wouldn't have existed

It's very easy to see why religion is bad for society

>>94551691
I agree, but its not even all religion. Hinuism without the class system and buddhism dont seem bad(i could be wrong though).

>>94546649
I think the mother "conveniently forgot" to read that part.

>>94551691
People have fought over less than religion Fedora Fred. Don't act like people wouldn't have fought over other stuff if there wasn't religion

>>94546369
Is that a fucking megalodon?

>>94551983
Did i say religion was the only reason humans fight?

Religion caused many wars in history but not all wars. but earth would certainly be more peaceful than it is now without religion

>>94551983
>anyone who calls out religion is a fedora
I wish vaticain paid shitposters would fuck off back to their containment board

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dos this count

>>94546132

God has always hated random shit, I know they are JWS but even christfags are this bad, Jesus even said that doing something in your Imagination is the same as doing it IRL so if you think on destroying a city with your super blasts to God, you are a genocidal city buster!.

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I used to love watching Davey and Goliath, mostly because I liked stop motion animation due to my obsession with Wallace and Gromit. It only came on Saturday mornings on the Christian channel, and as a kid with broadcast TV my pickings for cartoons were pretty slim. I recently watched Moral Orel, and fucking loved that too.

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Imagine where we could be

>>94546910
how the hell do you fuckers keep track on people?
move to a new city recently and you fuckers are already hounding me to join and you already have someone who speaks my native language coming
haven't even told people what kind of Asian I am

>>94546910
Why do you go to this shithole and what do you see that is good and worth worship in your facist god and his system

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I also used to watch Auto-B-Good, because it was the only cartoon that was on in the middle of the day on a Saturday.

>>94552601
>he fell for the dark ages meme

>>94546972

I found the joke about the mythical animals not wanting to on the ark and dying to be fairly brutal for a children's cartoon, although you could argue that alongside them THE ENTIRETY OF HUMANITY is also dying, so it's actually less brutal. Either way, it's coincidentally also the only part of the movie I remember.

>>94552549
It's more about the choices you make and your intentions.
If you look at a woman and think "I'd fuck her" beyond just a surface level thought (like dwelling on it) and you're not single, then you've basically already made your intentions clear and just don't have the opportunity.

>>94551742
You still have Hindu and Buddhist terrorists. Buddhist temples had military power back in the day.

>>94552686
>not beliving an actual fact that the church repressed information in the dark ages
I want /pol/ to leave

>>94552686
I posted that as a joke tho otherwise I wouldn't have posted the Finno-Korean Hyperwar edition

>>94552814
>Finno-Korean Hyperwar
>joke

>>94552756
"Dark Ages" is an outdated term rejected by modern historians, boyo

>>94552942
Regardless of what its called, the church was a facist corrupt shithole and burned people for having a different opinions then theirs

https://youtu.be/DE4WWp1DeCI
Is this, dare I say, /kino/?

>>94549359
My friend gave it to me can mean his friend said "ok you can keep this one" and "ok you can have it till friday" almost equally, kids aren't masters of language. But even if he didn't borrow it, the other kid's probably gonna be pissed/upset that his gift was thrown away rather than given back. Caleb will probably lose a friend or at least never get anything free out of the good of someone else's heart ever again. That's probably the saddest part.

>>94545180
Can't wait for the episode where their mother teaches them how to shame the kid who got into a car accident and had to get a blood transfusion to survive

>>94546910
Enjoy an early death

>>94553216
tell me this didn't happen

>>94546369
yo that's a fucking huge shark

>>94554676
Whale shark. Placid plankton/krill feeders, hence the name. Super chill

>>94554816
Learn something new every day, I guess.

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>>94547514
Heresy!

>280 posts
>nobody posted the porn

>>94555695
There's porn?

>>94555695
Why don't you? Afraid of getting banned?

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>>94550091
Almost finished with Osamu Tezuka's In the Beginning. It was pretty good, but I wish the dub wasn't so heavily edited. Also I feel like it's too bad it stops right at the nativity and doesn't go into the New Testament.

>>94550091
super book the original or super book the retelling (the one with the super book being digitized) or both?

>>94545136
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuAvRCSWu8I

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Did you guys know we almost got Battlefield Earth: The Animu?

http://www.tv.com/shows/battlefield-earth/

>>94553712
Jehova witnesses are infamous for their position against blood transfusion and letting followers to die, even children. If you really, really believe on the afterlife, the mortal life is pretty pointless.

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What could have been a good thread ruined by le Reddit antitheist.

This is tiring.

>>94556947
Oh thank fuck I thought you were talking about a real episode that happened. ButI don't get it though blood donation is like??? One of the best kinds of charity you can do. Somebody is offering their life to help yours. Is it something about only god can let people live and die or you can't let sinners blood into you???

>>94557648
What the fuck is this typing style?

>>94557785
I call it I'm kinda drunk but not enough to make me not want to kill myself.

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>>94557648
That reminds me of an episode of Babylon 5 I saw as a kid. Honestly, I don't remember anything but the ending:
An alien kid has trouble breathing. A simple operation on his lung-like air sacks will fox him right up, except that cutting him open means hat according to his culture, his soul will leak out and after that he'll be just an empty shell. And the standard plot happens - the parents are against it, the kid's not sure... and the station doctor does the operation anyway. The parents are horrified at first but then seem to be OK with it. Except they rituastically kill their son later. When security and the doctor find them, they're just "It' OK. He was just an empty shell. It's fine."
Perhaps not the most subtle story, but I still remember it years later. Because some people really think like that. And that's terrible.

>>94551691
I bet you think the middle ages was a big black hole for science sucking up any potential development until the Renaissance

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This is the only religious cartoon worth watching

>>94545180
Didn't /co/ make some art when this first got released of the little JW girl doing lesbian stuff with her classmate with the 2 mommies?

>>94557909
Well. Did his soul leak out?

>>94549236
The majority of the stories told in that show were from other mythologies. There was barely any Christian stories told.

>>94558376
I've seen lesbian stuff of the girl and her mom

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>>94556901
Speaking of animu and sci-fi cults, has anyone seen this? Looks weird as fuck.

>>94558141
How lame.

>>94559106
>Black president

We won't have another one for a long time, aren't we?

>>94558929
Well, he died. So... yes.
CHECKMATE HUMANS

>>94544707
Cartoons used by the Jehovah's Witness cult to indoctrinate children while their minds are still easy to mold.

>>94550557
Educate yourself https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Kells

>>94549793
you know how Sodom & Gomorrah were so bad that God literally Nuked them off the face of the planet, imagine that but it's every human alive on the planet besides Noah and his immediate family

relevant video on how awful Sodom & Gomorrah were;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bar3GOzDNzg

>>94549886
when I played that game, I always forgave any damned souls I encountered

>>94544707
>generally inoffensive cartoons made on a tiny budget by JWs
>nothing really bad about them, but /co/ fancies itself to be edgy atheists, so they have a tendency to hate anything religious but only if it's a western religion. if you hate an eastern religion you get called a /pol/ack.

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I can't believe it, I made a thread with over 300 replies that didn't once devolve into needless shitposting!

>>94559326
We bash eastern religions all the time here and we even have a board for it, >>>/pol/

>>94559328
Yeah, I find that there are more people curious rather than trying to argue one way or another that leads to infighting.

I remember the last religious based thread went into the authenticity of the Ipuwer Text.

I, personally, never like escalating an argument. But, unfortunately for me I could not make much of an argument because it was really late and I had to do more research that I thought I would.

>>94559106
>For your consideration
>BEST ANIMATED FEATURE

Can't be worse than Brave, right?

>>94559326

>>94559431 is right. But, in particular, when you say "Eastern religion" you mean Islam, don't you? I don't hear much complaints about Hinduism or Buddhism, though they aren't without their faults. I will agree that Islam is incompatible with the West and is barbaric. With that said, it's okay to be a Muslim, so long as you're not Wahhabist. I'm kind of iffy on Salafists.

>>94547402
Is "ass" a curse word or a cuss word?

>>94549806
Question is who is more sick of it, the seraphim who are probably totally tongue twisted from saying the same damn thing so long, or God who has to deal with the pigeon fuckers obscuring his vision all the damn time.

Best religious...cartoon? Animated piece, atleast.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-evIyrrjTTY

>>94548977
You can have different groups of the same faith that believe different things.

Hell in a single Mormon town I've run into three kinds.

Your run-of-the-mill Mormons that take their faith casually and say the more stranger parts aren't really necessary and were more around for the time the book was written.

Then there's the hardcore mormons that take it all seriously, magic underwear and everything.

And of course, the polygamic cultists that cast out their boys and marry their daughters. I occasionally see the women leave the compound to shop around Wal-Mart and I see first hand the effects of incest


Strangest thing I saw out there however was a Hare Krishna that claimed he was a mormon and that Joseph Smith was actually [some long Indian name] who was also God but not quite God or something.

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>>94559106
>>94559528

Oh I remember this. It's basically made by a Japanese cult that is
>The greatest of Buddha and Jesus in one hit album

>In 202X, a coup takes place in a East Asian republic. The Godom Empire is then born.
Basically China. They want China to be the bad guys the same way Huratee in the US depicted the UN as the bad guys

> The Emperor of Godom hails from the military and he builds up the empire using its military strength and utilizing mystical weapons. The Godom Empire plots to conquer its neighboring countries, including Japan.
Because Japan will be super important guise.

>The United States is a shell of its former past and no longer holds sway in the UN and is helpless to stop the Godom Empire. Meanwhile, an international secret society known as Hermes Wings battles to stop the Godom Empire. Sho Shishimaru is a member of the Hermes Wing and also has prophetic powers. Sho Shishimaru predicts that Buddha as a their savior will return.

Only through prayer to GodBuddha will the world be saved.

>>94559544
Sometimes /pol/ complains about Buddhism because assotiation. The Dalai Lama is pretty much /pol/, he hates muslisms, gays, women and believe on ethnostates, authoritarism and was raised by a nazi while later work for the CIA on trying to overthrow Mao but hipsters like the Dalai Lama, including degenerate Hollywood celebrities, so he can't never be /theirguy/

>>94546212
Best animation based on the trilogy is really just an explanation:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp8JGQk0CFQ&t=2s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-ImAfevCOM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8WGz3cEpuo

>>94558141
We actually watched Shrek 2 in a bible study class of sorts in a private school I was attending.

>>94556556
The mom and the girl lezing out.

>>94556575
It's on my previous computer, which crashed and burned.

>>94548120
Hes behind the crowd clearly

>>94548127
>Alpha and Omega
Oh no. Stream of pain then?

>>94561687
This isn't animation, let alone best.

>>94546162
I unironically believe that this is the greatest animated film of all time.

>>94548989
http://desuarchive.org/co/thread/94553237/#94556236
stop

>>94552968
Even without the church they would have burned people they didn't agree with and claim "it's ok because its logical."