IRL /co/ lookalikes

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>Drinking carbonated, sugar-filled beverages.

>>94532984
You probably could if you groom yourself, spend 6 weeks getting in shape, learn how to talk to people, and learn not to sperg out.

>>94532984
>needing soda
well, you're never gonna fuck her

well shit, where's that copypasta of the guy who ends up fucking the dog when you need it

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>drinking soda

Better hope she has a fat fetish, buck-o.

>>94533046
>>94533053
>>94533065
I cant help it, ive got this sugar addiction since i was a kid, and i use soda as a catalyst to not drink beer and go on another racist tirade in walmart. Now ive got this big gap in my front tooth and i couldnt lie to her and say ill go cold turkey, and now im reevaluating it because even if i dont fuck her she genuinely seemed concerned and few people feel anything but outright malice towards me.

>>94533176
just drink water and if you need to scratch the sugar itch, try popping a piece of gum. Better than drowning your teeth in acidic sugar and ingest all that shit into your system

>>94533176
Addiction can only thrive if you have nothing to do. Just stop buying soda and keep doing shit with people.

>>94533239
But i have no one besides my one autistic friend from highschool who barely talks to me, and now this dentist whom i want to fill her cavity but dont want to look like a creep to her.

>>94533053

Sounds hard, i'd rather masturbate to indian milfs on the internet instead.

>>94533239

This, you gotta distract yourself from the addiction, eventually your body will get used to it and you'll be fine.

>>94533267

Get a hobby.

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Guys, I think we've been going about this all wrong. We should be asking how much soda is OP drinking that it's rotting his teeth, and how has this presumably regular intake of large amounts of soda affected his physical appearance?

>>94533176

Just drink diet. Hurt your taste buds long enough and they'll eventually learn to like the taste of battery acid. I actually prefer the taste of aspartame to high-fructose corn syrup now.

>>94533443
What is the /co/ version of Mariska Hargitay?

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>>94533302

>>94533239
>>94533176

You could replace soda with something less unhealthy, too. Orange juice, for example. The kind without added sugar, might I add.

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>>94533515
Hot White Older Woman?
Helen Parr I guess.

If she needs to be a cop, Judge Hershey?

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>>94533176
I've been there man. The taste of normal water was revolting. Once I realized I was much fatter then everyone around me I changed my diet.

Think of the water as medicine. You have to drink it, it's disgusting, but you have to do it. Over time you'll get used to the taste.

>>94533176
Have you tried aguas frescas? You can as much sugar as you want, and slowly start decreasing your sugar intake.

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>>94533122
oh, lucky me I found it

>>94532984
An you dont put a pic of your dentist?

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>>94533381
Get a DISCIPLINE

>>94533739
I'm interested too, he could probably find one on the denistry office's website. They always showcase their dentists with profiles.

>>94533707
Ice cold water is refreshing as fuck you filthy pleb

>>94533046
>drinking carbonated, surgar-filled beverages that aren't being used for mixed drinks

ftfy

>>94533737
What the fuck?
Reminds me of a cuck op that answered questions on /pol/
He said that sometimes they tried to get with someone and they thought they were about to be mugged or something. Would do if I had the chance

>>94533176
Try eating fruit or something. It's addictive but improve yourself, don't give into temptation, be a better person that could legit fuck an asian milf.

>>94533176
I replace Coke Cola with Green/Herbal Tea and never looked back.

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Ex girlfriend looked like Katara

>>94532984
>Dentists lecturing adults like they're naughty children
I fucking hate this. Maybe if the treatment was free I'd put up with it, but I pay you to fix my teeth, not to lecture me. If I took better care of my teeth you'd be poorer you fuck, so just shut up and do your job.

Is what I'd say to my dentist if I wasn't concerned they'd do something that would result in agonising pain to me out of spite.

>>94533931
Yes, it is know. If you grew up on sugar water, you'll have to get used to the taste.

>>94534110
Uncle Pol told me about this kind of relationships...

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>>94534153
You should listen, he's a Dr.

>>94534195
Unlce Pol also is a Doctor...

>>94533869
>>94533739
Maybe he respects her privacy and fears his cute Dentist. would become a flavor of the month.

post the dentist you cuck

>>94534399
oh baby oh baby

>>94534399
i would

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>>94534399
not bad

>>94534399
Not seeing it.
I have a Dr Fetish and an Indian fetish so not bad.

>>94534420
>>94534421
>>94534423
Guys, plz dont dox her. Im already depressed she talked about how bad my teeth are, i dont want to get blacklisted and embarresed in front of the dentist for sexualizing her online

>>94534450
I mean, I doubt it'll happen, but you probably shouldn't have posted a pic if you were worried about that.

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>>94534399
How much do you think you would have to pay her to dress up as Connie's mom for Halloween?

>>94534517
10,000 as much as to get my teeth fixed

>>94533176
You know sugar is directly related to anxiety and deppression right? you won't believa what going 2 weeks sugar free does for your body and energy.

>>94534399
MOMMY

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>>94534399
She looks nothing like Priyanka, and I'm pretty sure her two kids are half-white.
Do a better job at editing the image next time so it can't be back-searched. You should probably delete it now

>>94533176
Ice cold water is amazingly refreshing, I pity people who can't enjoy it. Eat more fruit and just try your best not to buy any soda. That shit makes my teeth feel like it's corroding. Only soda that doesn't make my mouth feel horrible is stuff from the Caribbean.

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>>94534138
>Getting this defensive about people giving you objectively good advice

I missed the pic! Repost!

>>94534725
She wasn't that hot, kinda average desu.

>>94534725
just go through the archive

good job op now you have bigger problems than just some dumb soda

>>94534775
>implying that's not hotter

>>94534785
Still traceable.

>>94534786
No ones gonna dox her i hope

Whatever you do, start by making sure your crotch has a curry scent.

>>94534087
Unflavored sparkling water for me. I loved the carbonation from sodas, and at first I hated the taste of sparkling water (or lack thereof) but soon I learned to love it and I hate the sweetness of soda. It is really way too sweet after you haven't had it for a while.

>>94534780
Thanks.

>>94534825
Yeah, don't repost. TONS of results via GIS...

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Spitting image of Korra

Post more curry doctors.

>>94533931
water is shit, dude
shit

>>94534110
My best friend still looks like Katara.
We fucked back in the day and didn't like it very much. Now I'm dating her goth friend.

>>94532984
Be careful OP you might end up fucking her dog.

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>>94535995
that anon is never gonna live it down.

>>94535995
>>94536042
Let's think about this, could an indian woman be so hot that you could fuck their dog?

>>94536142
i would fuck priyankas dog.

aka connie with dog ears

so, who is tracking down indian dentist and telling her "hey remember that creepy guy who drinks all the soda? Look at this thread"

>>94536142
I mean it could make sense. Since there's likely no way of banging a Priyanka-look a like mother, you can fuck their female dog.

Great, now this is erotic to me

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>>94535139

>>94536207

pls don't bully op. he's suffering enough as it is.

>>94532984
>drinking sugar
JOHNNY JOHNNY

>>94534780
What archive?

>>94536333

hownew.ru

>>94534138
They're telling you this because they want you to be healthy. Lighten up, just follow their fucking advice.

>>94536333
This was a joke
>>94536361
It's actually:
http://wwe.slippers.whizz

>>94536361
wtf this doesn't link to anything?

>>94536293
Fuck off. I'm babysitting a 5 year old and he won't shut up about it.

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>>94535943
You are going to do EVERYTHING YOU CAN to set up a threesome, you hear me!?

>nobody has emailed OP's dentist with this thread

What do you call being proud and disappointed at the same time?

>>94534420
Come on Anon! Put the image again!

>>94536633
Nah. The Katara-looking one is getting married soon, and her fiancé is a total bro.
We've joked about a threesome with one of her goth friends, tho.

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>>94536171
>aka connie with dog ears

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>>94533949

>mixed drinks

>>94533046
>giving in to the diet jew
What a tard.

>>94533949
Alcohol is degenerate. Prohibition was the right move.

>>94539013
>if you are consuming a liquid and it's not soda then it MUST be diet soda
This is obese logic.

>>94532984
>sexy older women that you are willing to change your habits in order to spend more time around
I honestly can't relate with this beyond a barber. She must have been in her 50's and was only good looking, not really "HOT", but the way she lathered my hair before my haircut... the way she intensely pushed her fingertips into my scalp... it was like my scalp was having sex.

If my first visit weren't also her last day before retiring then I would have definitely gotten haircuts much more frequently.

Reminder that your parents didn't love you if they brought soda into the house when you were a kid.

I got my soda fix outside the house and it was really easy to wean off soda completely when I decided to at 18.

>>94532984

I had a 30 some year old Indian woman who groped my abs and said "oooh, muscles" during a physical once.

>>94539792
>ywn go back in time and respond to the sexy older Indian lady "maybe we can meet up some time and you can get a better look"

>>94539792
I'm super jelly anon.

>>94539938

I was pale, dehydrated and looking all sorts of fucked up. I had a virus that was making my shit straight water for a week beforehand.

>>94539792
>into older women
>can only attrack younger girls

Lucky you

>>94540093
>Can attract girls
Just play the long con and fuck the young girls when they become older

>>94540044
Then how you had abs?

>>94540148
have you ever shat so bad you curl?

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>>94533165
>MILFy Doctor passively giving health "advice" to a patient
>It's actually fattening him up
Muh dick

>>94540192

From working out for years prior. They don't disappear just from puking and shitting

>>94540093

I seem to get a lot of older girls teasing me. I had a /fit/, thirty year old Spanish mother of two that I worked with making jokes about how she was carrying my babies. If she wasn't getting back together with her actual baby daddy while she teased the shit out of me I would have gone for it

I'm dating a nice italian girl now though

>>94540148
By having muscles.
If anything being dehydrated probably helped show that off.
Visible abs and definition are more low body fat than hypertrophy.
That's why bodybuilders dehydrate them selves, it basically shrink wraps your skin to your body

>>94533176
Try different juices and shit, they often taste like sugar without having sugar, especially ones that have lemonade and something else in them.

>>94540128
I just can't date any girl if I seen them grow up. It just sets off my fatherly instincts and I begin to feel more like a father or older bother to them instead of an partner

>>94540395
That does sound nice

>>94540961
Not literally grow up.
Unless you mean you only attract literal young girls.

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>>94540093
>can attract girls
Wow, anon, that sure sounds like a torture.

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>>94532984
My girlfriend looks like an older Pacifica, I don't know what she sees in me to be honest

>>94540093
>tfw chicks throw their thongs at me but I only want their mother's huge panties.
You sound like a bitch, but I respect your taste in women.

>>94541178
You're probably funny

>>94541168
>>94541220
I have been known to bitch and have been called a man slut despite by my family and friends

>>94540355
I feel that is a gross violation of the patient-doctor bond.

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>all this talk of how MILFs are top-tier
>meanwhile I'm having the time of my life dating a 17 year old
Anyway she looks like Star Butterfly

>>94542399
That's just gross

>>94542399

I don't believe you anon

>>94542399
If youre past your early 20s anon thats just creepy
Can you not attract girls your own age or something

>>94534399
>>94534450
You can literally just reverse image search and get all the info you need

>>94541220
>implying its not the other way around panty-wise

>Worked in a spa for a year with a 50-year-old Colombian milf
If I had been single at the company party, Id have gone after it.
Turns out my gf is bi and wants a threesome with her. And my boss invited us to drinks and dancing.

>>94533176
try making a switch to sugar free seltzer water. two of my personal favorites:

Canada Dry's Mandarian Orange
La Croix's Pamplemousse ('Pamplemousse' is just some gay ass name they gave it instead of just calling it grapefruit which is what it is lol)

From my own experience I can tell you that yeah that first sip, probably the entire first can won't appeal to you very much just stick with it. I went from being 'blegh' about the first can of sugarless seltzer I tried (because yeah a bubbly drink without sweetness IS pretty weird and unappealing at first when you're used to the sugariness you get) to now I truthfully honestly prefer sugar free seltzer water over soda and seltzer waters that do have sugar.

tl;dr - try dropping the soda/sugary drinks for like a month get a box or so of one or more of La Croix's sparkling water flavors stick with that/those as your drinking choice through the month and see how you're feeling a month later.

>>94534110
I knew a girl who looked a lot like Korra. She even had the right type of body. Never tried anything because she was in-your-face crazy and had a lot of respect for her boyfriend who I was friends with.

>>94535139
Her body I perfect, but her face is kind of off.

>>94542847
>Never tried anything because she was in-your-face crazy
So she's exactly like Korra.

>>94542917
More Hispanic girl crazy.

>>94542399
Enjoy literal babysitting.

>>94542438
>>94542652
>>94543012
I'm 24, we're both having fun. Why is that a problem?

>>94543026
>24/2+7
>min 19
Have fun, just mind the statutory rape charges. Depending on where you live.

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My gf looks almost exactly like Amalia, but with curly black hair instead of straight green

>>94543026
I never said there was a problem.

I'm just saying there will be one eventually if she doesn't get some actual parenting. She is mentally inferior to you and relationships where one partner plays the parent don't last.

>>94534450
>posts a picture of a real life person you know on an anonymous website
>said website does whatever they want because everything's anonymous
hmm, not your smartest move, anon

>>94542399
We are all just bullshitting, anon. No need to get upset.

>>94543026
I got stopped by the police three times and almost beaten by a bunch of idiots because of a similar situation.
My gf is 19 and I'm 24, doesn't help that she looks way younger and I look way older.

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>>94542399
>not going exclusively for 40+ year old women
???

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Kinda bummed about her not knowing French (she's super American). Hopefully she can sing though.

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I've been compared to a handful of characters the most recent being...

>Steven Universe
>Greg
>Maui

...And I'm not sure where people are getting that last one from. The hair maybe?

>>94532984

Funny. My own mother is like Priyanka in personality, race, and hair color (the last two to some extent) but body-wise she's more like Martha.

>>94543026
Kek I bet you are both hideous or you are a fucking weirdo. 24 here as well. Have fun when her parents hit you with a statutory rape charge for getting their underage daughter drunk one night.

Once you are over 21 you can fuck 18 year olds but dating one is fucking weird.

>>94543081
is she also a 13 year old cock slut loli?
post pics

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>>94541487
>you make me laugh
>you're so smart
>you make me feel safe
>you eat me out
I don't know man, she feels so out of my league that I don't buy any of her reasons. Maybe I'm just paranoid and insecure.

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>>94543347
13 isn't loli, you dumb piece of shit.

>>94543347
18, but she looks way younger. I shan't be posting pics, though, because, well, it's 4chan.

>>94543391
Those are exactly the reasons that my girl loves me. Do yourself a favor and believe them. That safety is really hard to come by and really precious for girls. Be your awesome self anon and treasure each other.

>>94535937
How much of a fat fuck do you have to be to reject motherfucking water?

You know it literally keeps you alive right?

>>94533501

This is me since I was 12. Shove aspartame crystals in my orifices when I die and throw me in the Diet Coke vats

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>>94533176
i use soda as a catalyst to not drink beer and go on another racist tirade in walmart

the fuck happened story

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>>94543451
But isn't being safe in a relationship a bad thing?

>>94543971
Hell no. Contrary to popular belief safe is not an insult. When people say "he's too safe" they mean that you're not engaging or trying new things. But it's easier to try new things when you have a partner watching out for you and making those moments great

Be her safe place, but take each other on adventures and use that safety

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>>94533046
>>94533065
>>94533165
hol up, when the hell did /co/ become /fit/? I drink soda and only have borderline high blood pressure. Honestly throughout my life my weight fluctuated. Honestly I did Take months long breaks from drunking sugar stuff but i eventually came bsck to juice and soda. (although I am currently on my second year from not eating McDonald's or Burger King). when I was 15 I was fit, but junior year I got fat off of Mickey Ds.
I have a girlfriend who likes my slight chubby muscularity. Thing is how do I stay motivated more than 6 months on a workout routine? all I do Is bicep curls, Shoulder press, and push ups every other day of the week to retain some type of strength

>>94544452
Try a rowing machine

>>94533046
>carbonated
Stop being a faggot for five minutes and explain how carbonation represents any kind of threat to teeth or nutrition. My kidney doctor and my dentist both say the pH change that carbonation brings is negligible.

Just say sugar-filled beverages and stop trying to sound smart, shithead

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>>94535139
IIRC, it's just this pose. She looks different at any other angle.

>>94540355
To be fair, with the intense workout Overwatch operatives have, eating that wouldn't be as bad.

You should see the diet pop 76 with his new skin.

Ya know the crazy redhead from those Total Drama shows?

I went to high school with a girl that looked just like her.

>>94544452
Not even /fit/. I just prefer salt over sweets. Either way, one glass of water is all my daily intake of liquid; getting up and going to buy soda is too much trouble.

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My girlfriend could do a decent Lord Dominator with a buncha green bodypaint.
She even has freckles, an undercut, and not much of a chin.

>>94544452
Honestly, I don't get it all.

I've spent years drinking soda liters at a time, and I've never had any dental problems for all the 25 years I've been alive. I haven't had any weight problems either and have remained thin. I've barely gained or lost weight at all over the last 5 years.

>>94545118
>Weak chin
2/10 get a new gf

>>94533949
>falling for the alcoholic Jew
You're just as bad as OP and his carbonated Jew addiction.

>>94545253
weak chin girls are top tier anon. It's weak chin men who are shit

>>94543337
Look at this salty-ass legbeard

>>94545090
>one glass of water is all my daily intake of liquid
How are your kidneys not shutting down?

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>>94545526

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what character can a shiny faced black guy with glasses look like? is post my face but it's up to yall

Not a cartoon but I know a girl that's a dead ringer for Aubrey Plaza

>>94541487
>>94541178
>>94544217
what I want to know is, what truly determines of one is attractive to girls? I thought I was ugly but when I lost weight and fixed my Tinea infection on my face I got more girls. What happened? I still find it hard to believe I can get girls. I still can't fully court a girl on my own even though I have a girlfriend. Furthermore why is it that people come to you more when you're in a relationship?
>I'm a confused 19 year old

Guy who has a gf shaped like Chel here. Ask me anything.

>>94546581
What kind of peanut butter goes best with grape jam?

>>94546654
Jif Natural

>>94546581
What are her kinks?

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>Step into thread expecting Dr. Maheswaran
>Scroll through
>People discussing health a their girlfriends
>/co/ having girlfriends

When did /co/ become such normies... all I wanted were lewds and people are talking about their girlfriends and drinking water.

ywn have hot sex with a milf and/or her dog

>>94546728
She likes being choked and she has a balls fetish.

>>94546807
What does a balls fetish entail?

>>94546501
You just have low self esteem. Just because you think you're ugly doesn't mean your not to others.

>>94546838
She likes playing with testicles. Mainly just touching them.

>>94546859
Sounds fantastic. How does she feel about you talking about her on a Taiwanese fish bait forum?

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>>94546581
funnily enough I'm in the same boat. she actually has native ancestry and so had similar eyes to chel. she's just kinda chubby in the gut and she's sensitive about it
her chubbiness only gets me ten times harder

>>94546773
we simply buckled down and improved ourselves so we can get girlfriends. you can do it too anon. also don't say normie, say normalfag. Saying normie makes you look like a normalfag, just helping you here

>>94546903
Doesn't care as Iong as I don't post here face.

>>94546904
Same. She has a bit of a belly. Belly rubs make her sleep.

>>94546956
post pic cut out face

>>94546501
FUCKING TINEA
I had that shit on my body for over a year thinking it was an allergic reaction. Went to a dermatologist, he gave me a prescription for 4 pills that knocked it out, and now I'm using some body wash twice a week. I can't believe it was this easy.

>>94546904
>>94547007
Fuck you anons and your chubby gfs

My gf is thinn and I hate it, but I'll never tell her that

>>94546501
>Furthermore why is it that people come to you more when you're in a relationship?
Because women most want what they can't have.

>Doing whatever
>Get approached by a serious 9/10
>She's flirty as fuck and dropping all the hints
>Insists that she knows me from X or Y place
>Tell her that probably wasn't me
>Her face falls and she leaves awkwardly

This has happened no less than five times this year. I have a doppelganger somewhere and he's crushing mad pussy.

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>>94547017
I know right. when I was 13 I stupidly looked up the mark on my face online and the Internet made me think I had Lupus. Fucking lupus. Lo and behold I just needed prescription cream from the doctor. if I had discovered this earlier my teenhood would've been waaaaaaayyyyy better

>>94534138
They're doctors for your teeth you fucking idiot. They're not mechanics.

>>94547186
Derma told me it was one of the most common things people get. I feel like if it's on your face there would HAVE to be some people who have an idea it might be tinea but say nothing.

>>94547163
>You dense mother fucker!
That's a lead into a conversation!

>Example
"Hey, do I know you from _____"
"Oh, I've never done/been to _____, I'd love to though. How is it?"

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My gf looks like pic related.
AMA. I love talking about her.

>>94547259
>Anal?
>Roleplay?
>Biggest problem with her?
>Favorite thing abut her?
>How'd you meet?

>>94547259
How does SHE feel about you talking about her on a Taiwanese fish bait forum?

>>94547163
Jfc anon, that's MY go-to line when I want to know a girl. I got my current girlfriend by pretending I'd seen her before. People are approaching you. Take the shots

>>94547243
...

I need to rethink some things.

>>94547259
Can i have sloppy seconds

>>94532984
I'm super attracted to middle eastern girls even though I find their culture, diet, and men disgusting. It kills me.

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>>94540355
I work with a 16 year old who looks like the young Mercy skin. Hair and everything. Why do teenagers look like adults so much now[/spoiler{

She's essentially Tracer with long hair.

Much less confident though.

AMA about her too

>>94547163
You do realize that's a way of breaking the ice and getting into a conversation right? Or are you that dumb.

>>94547428
>>94547297

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AMA I'm a 27 year old virgin who is on the verge of ending his pathetic life because of realities cruel and unforgiving circumstances. Love isn't real and all that we know will end one day in a fiery blaze of destruction and mayhem.

>>94547520
>DUDE NIHILISM LMAO

>>94544930
that's because both iahfy and the character designers used Alison Stokke as the model

Alison's seen this and loves iahfy's work

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>>94547520
Dont die, he man no want you to go

>>94547448
Anal, probably not no.

Roleplay, we haven't tried anything yet but she might be down.

My biggest problem with her is that she doesn't see in her what I see in her. She's so talented and cute and funny but she has shit self esteem. I'm trying to help her with it though, and she's getting better.

My favorite thing about her is that she's cute, and that she's pretty much okay with everything I do online. She also is pretty much down to try anything I want to do with her too.

We're both in college right now, but we met on a cross country bus during high school. She was working on a pokemon drawing on her iPad and I asked her about it. I was just out of a bad break-up, so I didn't know if I wanted to go back into a relationship. We started talking though, and I'm so glad that I decided to keep texting her, and getting texts back.


She's so cute. I love her so much. If there are any single anons browsing this thread, just fucking install tinder or something.
Cuddling for hours is something you have to experience.

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My GF looks like this girl from The Emoji Movie trailer (haven't seen the film, but my buddy sent it to me saying it was the spitting image and I have to agree.)

>>94547520
You can find someone anon.

I believe in you.


If anything, just go on /soc/ and say "27 year old virgin in (zip code)!

I'm DTF!"

>>94547547
Nice. You sure showed that depressive idiot I tell you what.

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I'm 20 and I still haven't kissed a girl

>>94547623
I didn't tell him to kill himself or anything. It bad that he's depressed, but he should get actual help instead of posting it on 4chan.

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>>94547520

>>94547691
Shitposting help, it gives me someone to talk to besides my thoughts

>>94547761
the strange shit is i can actually see this being actual dialogue in part 8

>>94547626
And there's nothing wrong with that. You are not any less of a person for it.

>>94547593
Fuck you and fuck this thread for making me feel like shit. I will never have a meaningful relationship and all of your happiness makes me envious and even more depressed.

>>94547761
>perish like a dog
well it is jojo

>>94547520
Don't die.
Live long enough and you'll find another survivor of this chaotic world.

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>all these fucking normie cucks

Unlike you fools, I remained pure and strong during my youthful decades and now I have claimed my birthright as a mighty and powerful wizard. Endowed with this cosmic power, the world is at my command, and the roasties and harpies have no sway over my judgement.

>>94533176
>this many replies
>all of it is anons genuinely trying to be helpful
>only one guy asking about the racist walmart tirade
I want to fucking know about this

>>94540355
i eat almost this much and i can't seem to gain a single pound, i'm actually losing weight still. i'm at 98lbs, was 102 last month. and /fit/ told me to keep eating more. what gives? how do you people manage to get fat?

>>94548083
It has to be one big hit or it doesn't work.
Eating regularly increases metabolism.

>>94547520
read Kierkegaard, son.

>>94548016
Can you go back in time?

>>94547520
love is real, it's the inside of a blanket on a cold winter day, cuddling with a bed full of stuffed animals.

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>>94547761
This is my favorite version of that pic.

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>>94547520
Love may or may not be real after all, but humans nonetheless are too fickle to make love stay real for long.

Anyone, another 27yo virgin here, and a kissless one at that: Learn to embrace the despair, anon; let it wash over you and then become one with it. It is all that is left in life.

>>94547593
>She's so cute. I love her so much. If there are any single anons browsing this thread, just fucking install tinder or
something.

I can vouch that tinder does indeed work some of the time. Met my current gf there and she's pretty /co/ , it's not all just gross white girls.

>>94548265
you don't have to be a 27yo kissless virgin
i love stealing potential wizard's powers

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>>94547520
>>94548265
Let me tell you both, as a 30yo who had sex once when I was 19, I think that's arguably worse than having never had it at all. At least you guys haven't had the memory of sex and touching a woman's body torturing you for 11 years.

>>94548385
>At least you guys haven't had the memory of sex and touching a woman's body torturing you for 11 years.
No, all I have in its place is an ever-growing gaping void within, and which I have grown used to, but it demands continual concentration, like a catharsis that never stops. As another anon once said, to be in your late 20s without ever having had sex is certainly a sign that there is something very wrong with you.

>>94547297
>>Anal?
Only analplay so far.
>>Roleplay?
All the time, all kinds of kinky shit. She's deep into being dominated and loves dressing up.
>>Biggest problem with her?
Much like me, she deals with depression and anxiety. She also has a lot of emotional baggage and battle scars.
>>Favorite thing abut her?
Everything about her as a person. Yeah, she's beautiful on the outside, but on the inside she is just proof that good people still exist. She fills me with hope and courage to stand this shitty life. She respects me, she understands me, she admires me and treats me with love and kindness.
>>How'd you meet?
A friend's birthday party.

>>94547299
She does the same on her tumblr so I think she likes it.

>>94547369
Nah.

>>94533176
How about switching to natural syrups? I made my own, a rasberry syrup, with honey as well, and I combine it with mineral water. You could just buy one if you like.

>>94546956
Post her body then. Somewhere else of course.

>>94547297
does anyone else have a gf that loves and sometimes demands to perform anal on them, but hates receiving anal? i try to tell her i'm not that into it but she forces herself on my poor butt sometimes when i'm asleep. any advice?

>>94542399
I'm looking for my Star here anon, wish me luck.

>>94548507
>to be in your late 20s without ever having had sex is certainly a sign that there is something very wrong with you
There's something very wrong with everyone here, where do you think we are? If you want to be normal a good first step is probably leaving 4chan.

>>94547126
>>94546856
>>94546501
This is the straight dope:
You know what's really fucking attractive? Confidence. You know what's really fucking unattractive? Desperation.
When you're single, self-loathing thoughts bombard you. They tell you you aren't good enough, not smart enough, not good-looking enough for another person to even consider you. So you look for any excuse for human contact.
When you are in a relationship, those thoughts are countered by the reality that you apparently are good, smart and good-looking enough. This allows you to relax, which turns into confidence because you know you've already proven yourself.

Confidence is everything. Knowing how to punch your way out of a conflict, for example, means you get to be relaxed during a heated argument because you know that, just in case, you can punch your way out of it. If you can't, you're more likely to be on edge because you know if the other guy gets in your face you won't be able to deal with it. Only a warrior chooses pacifism. All others are doomed to it.

>>94548673
That's called rape, anon.

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Fiancee looks like Pearl with a brand new boobjob, personality of a doormat/50s housewife(like that one character from the technicolor horses show).
I'm somewhat emotionally abusive.

Ask questions I guess.

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Neighbor of a friend. Girl not only looks, but even acts like May Kanker. But is surprisingly sweet and good natured, with those dumb moments speckled with moments of smarts.

I really wish I had met her before she got knocked up. But she was hot as a mom-to-be. My fetish.

>>94549390
Please post pics...is some kind of Pearl coaplsy...rigth?

>>94533443
>>94533515
looks like the hot version of the ugly step sister in shrek

>>94549446
Assuming not underage, I'd hit it

>>94535937
I'm sorry you have had experience with chronic diarrhea that was so bad you shat out pure water.
But water ain't shit, nigga

>>94547259
Have you tried getting her into a catsuit and a poncho yet?
If not, Halloween is the perfect time.

>>94549853
She actually cosplayed as Lydia for a con and she's very likely to do it again next month.
She got mad because she wanted me to go as Beetlejuice, but I already had plans for a Kamen Rider Amazon group cosplay with the boys.

>>94547520
>just 27
pffft git gud noob, I haven't ever gotten any pussy and I'm 28. I don't agonize myself because of it I agonize myself because of an old old crush I had on a girl in DeKalb, IL that's on the same junior high class, but I was too shy a kid back then to properly ask her out, and then 9/11 happened and flip turned my life upside down and now I haven't set foot in the US again and now I live a happy-go-lucky life despite that! I just haven't had a gf for ever, tho.

>>94548016
Let me tell you a story.

The archmage of the house of kholtn once approached the apprentices studying at the library to give an special announcement:

"All hear, our brother Lezeraim has achieved a level of wizardry never seen before,he is probably the most powerful wizard of all times"

Everybody remained in an amazed state, one apprentice curious about what feels to be the most powerful wizard visited Lezariam to ask him about it.

"Brother Lezariam, what does it feel to be the most powerful wizard of all time"

Lezariam answered

"I feel as lonely as ever, I just got better at hiding it, even to myself"

>>94547620
That seems smart

>>94549960
Then try to cobble it together in your spare time to surprise her.
Then bone her while you're dressed up.

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>>94545118
DO IT ANON, DO IT AND SEND US PICTURES.

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>>94533046
>I only drink distilled purified vegan soy spring mineral water

>>94550259
despite how pretentious the other anon sounded, how is that fedora?

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>>94549390
>I'm somewhat emotionally abusive.
A-anon... what are you doing to her?
also, are you talking about the yellow horse?

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People say my girlfriend kinda looks like Jyn Erso.
She is already a /co/ character because of her comic appearances and because of that Forces of Destiny thing Disney did.

>>94551562
Did anyone else fucking hate rogue one?

>>94544852
Carbon dioxide and water react to make carbonic acid, which will wear down the enamel on your teeth.

>>94532984
I lost a truckload of weight when i started going for those tiny cans and cutting them with seltzer

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>>94533176
I was gonna do some /fit/ tier advice, bu t wat?
>racist tirade in walmart
Details please.

>>94548083
Because you don't eat anywhere neat that much. Track calories holy fuck

>>94548016
If you masturbated it doesn't work.

Memes are nice and all, but IRL that nullifies everything.

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I look like Tilda Swinton as The Ancient One from that shitty Doctor Strange movie.

>>94551825
Basically i got drunk and started shouting out about how white guilt faggots are flooding europe wuth rapefugees for cheap labor

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mfw I haven't brushed my teeth in six years, never had any cavities ever, insanely strong enamel.

>>94551875
JESUS CHRIST NICK BATE BRUSH YOUR FUCKING TEETH

>>94548080
just imagine your average 4chan post but in public

>>94551862
>americans

>>94533176
>mfw drinking cold water with a drop of lemon juice right now
Who /masterrace/ here?

>>94551896
So your okay with your women getting fucked by prophet worshiping vermin?

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>/co/
>gfs

>>94551918
>your women
not mine.

>>94533949
>mixed drinks
Pure whiskey/vodka/bourbon/cognac OR BUST!

>drinking the carbonated jew

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>>94543420
>I shouldn't post pics of someone
>because we are on 4chan

Just post the shit.

>>94548673
>not waking a girl to take care of your bumhole

You don't deserve women.

>>94547259
>>94548526
Where is she from? Does she have a sister?

>>94551962
Why is everything bad added with the suffix of jew on it sometimes

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>>94549960
I ought to kick your dick off on principal alone. If you have a girlfriend that looks like Lydia, cosplays Lydia, and asks you to participate in a mutually enjoyable hobby like cosplay with her for a fucking adorable cosplay couple, you damn well could have made some time for it at least one day of the con.

Try harder.

>>94552040
That's the 4chan effect, son.

>>94547520
People have killed themselves after losing their love. You'll kill yourself for escapism. You'll be remembered as something worse than you when were alive.

>>94552099
>You'll be remembered
kek

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>>94547520
I'll ask you to find the fucking door with your AMA bullshit. I don't give a fuck what other sites you use, but this is 4chan, please learn the differences. Take your blog posting bullshit to where it belongs.

Also grow the fuck up. 27 and a mopey sap? The average lifespan of a human is like 80, and you're bitching out at 27? Life isn't a fucking cakewalk and it never will be. Grow some balls and deal with it like the rest of us.

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>>94551547
Question her intelligence, undermine her attempts at housekeeping, give her the cold shoulder when she's being affectionate, demand sex when she's too tired or not in the mood, make her feel guilty for the boobjob. Nothing big.

And yes, I mean the yellow one.

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OP you should try fruit-infused water if you wanna take a break from soda. Shit's good for your body and it's fucking delicious to top it all off.
It personally helped me because I actually hate the taste of regular water, but flavoring it with fruit is so much better. You could even make cold green tea, put a spoonful or two of peach syrup, add a slice of orange and apricot in there, garnish it with some mint leaves and you got yourself a homemade ice-tea.

>>94552099
hardly matters when you're too dead have awareness

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>>94552196
>Question her intelligence, undermine her attempts at housekeeping, give her the cold shoulder when she's being affectionate, demand sex when she's too tired or not in the mood, make her feel guilty for the boobjob
Jesus Christ, anon.

>>94543296

>...And I'm not sure where people are getting that last one from. The hair maybe?

Could it possibly be the fact that you are fat as fuck?

>>94552196
you piece of shit Is probably do the same. But why do YOU do it?

>>94552354
yeah but from the sounds of it he's white. But maybe he has a pig like face since so does Steven and Greg.

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>>94533046

>Drinking the liquefied Jew

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>>94552343
What?

>>94552356
Because I can, because her happy chipper attitude irritates me sometimes, because it's funny, because she'll get over it, because she'll never leave me, because I don't want to make things easy for her, because that boobjob was expensive and I want her to appreciate it.

I don't know, take your pic.

>>94553504
*your pick

>>94553504

Enjoy dealing with her mental breakdown in 10 years.

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>There are people here who've actually managed to have or had girlfriends
What is this
tell me where to find a gf like jasper or blue diamond

>>94553504
Jeez you might be a bigger asshole than me.

>>94553504
You sound like this guy right now >>741656150

>>94553923
>Jasper
Look at Gyms
>Blue Diamond
Best bet are single moms, libary, and the mall around jewelry shops.

>>94549694
Pregnant or non preggars version?

>>94533046
What is even this logic? Fatty foods and drinks aren't that bad if you have them in moderation. You're like those straight edge kids who think they're better than anyone who drinks or smokes and never actually ends up getting a social life.

>>94554631
To be fair being straight edge doesn't actually stop any of that, being a loser who just so happens to be straight edge does.

>>94554631
I don't drink or smoke BECAUSE I don't have a social life.
It's just sad if you drink on your own and you need friends to actually smoke.

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>>94554684
>straight edge doesn't stop any of that
Congrats on outing yourself as a virgin. Virgin.

>>94554700
>being this delusional
Least you're honest about being a shut in.

>>94554712
There are totally straight edge fags with social lives though.

>>94554747
V I R G I N
I
R
G
I
N

>>94554732
Getting shit faced alone just makes you an alcoholic.
To smoke you actually need a social life to establish those hook ups.

>>94554765
But you're not saying I'm wrong now are you?

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>>94535139
A (Better) Spitting image of Korra

>>94542768
So anon you now must ask yourself. That threeway and wife swapping sex worth getting a bit of cum in your bum?

>>94543762
>fat guy is racist
Who would have guessed?

>>94554821
Are you implying there aren't skinny racists?

>>94554770
not since deepweb markets were a thing

>>94554899
no he's implying unhappy fat guys use racism as an output to cover for their negative self-image.

Racism comes in all forms and generally present in everyone. probably.

>>94554899
There are, but when I think racist on the internet I picture a fat guy.

People aren't actually defending smoking in here, are they?

>>94553504
I want all you virgins and incels and wizards and loners and tfwnogf's to look at this post
This man is an abject asshole to his girlfriend but she stays with him
Why you ask?
Because he's a Chad and we're not
Chads get eveything they want and more
We barely get any
Know your place my brothers

>>94554988

Cripes, I don't think I have it in me to be that much of an asshole.

>This entire thread
And now I'm reminded of my crippling lonliness, low confidence, and overall introverted qualities
But that's fine. Made it this far, right? It's no big

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> met in an evening math class
> in a freaky relationship with her boyfriend
>Basically she can screw any guy she wants and he any girl, so long as no one touches her butt. The asshole us exclusively boyfriend territory
>got invited to foursome.
It's like something from my Chinese cartoons.

>>94554988
>This man is an abject asshole to his girlfriend but she stays with him
>Why you ask?
because he's using textbook abusive behavior fine-tuned for keeping a person's self-esteem so dependent on your happiness rather than hers that she'll probably kill herself when he gets bored of her and dumps her for the next mark

>>94555130
So as long as no one does anal you could plow her into the nth dimension?
Did you accidentally a portal to the 2D realm?

>>94554988

>implying she isn't gonna fucking crazy one day and murder him/kill herself

>>94555076
>>94555179

You tempted fate, and it has pissed in your eye.

>>94554631
Sugary drinks taste awful outside of the occasional party. Anyone who consistently drinks soda (or smokes for that matter) has a problem.

>tfw have relatives who partied every weekend and drank, smoked, and ate like madmen
>Fat by their 40's, Arthritis in their 50's, breathing problems in their 60's, wheelchairs in their 70's, dead by their 80's (if that)

>>94555130
You should fug her butt, just in case

>>94555235
Frankly it sounds like he has it coming.

Which co females are ridiculously wholesome with short red hair? But have a macabre side

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Have a close friend that looks so much like this navy officer from Wakfu (thou she had smaller tits).

>>94555130
>no one touches her butt. The asshole us exclusively boyfriend territory

You should be the first one. You have no idea how good a virgin butt feels

>>94555175
Basically, but so far it's amounted to blowjobs in her car.

>Did you accidentally a portal to the 2D realm?
I ask myself that every day now.

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>>94547520
Occupy yourself with self-improvement; learn to draw, set up a workout plan, try some cooking recipes, etc. Doesn't matter if you half-ass it on some days as long as you keep religiously to the schedule you made for yourself. These wont necessarily guarantee women flocking to you (except learning to cook, bitches love that), but learning to enjoy bettering oneself is probably one of the most stalwart defenses against existential dread.

I also find myself listening to this at least five times a day because goddamn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFiFZ7WK_Hg

>>94532984
Holy shit, my old dentist was exactly the same. Mature-aged indian woman, incredibly motherly, helped me out when I was new in town.
I didn't know how many MILF/medical-related fetishes I had until I realized I was excited to go back each time. Especially since every time she leaned over for whatever reason, her breasts would rest against my head.

>>94533053
How the hell do you do the last two? I am being serious.

>>94547425
Increased sex hormones and people fucking at younger and younger ages making evolution struggle to keep up with our society's liberal (as in more relaxed not as in left leaning) views on sex.

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>>94555645
lmao, i started going to gym since i read jojo (2 years ago), also I'm listening it regulary on trainings,
I'm not this suicidal anon

>>94553504
I hope bad things happen to you.

>>94556205
As a spergy fucker myself; it simply comes with experience. You just kind of have to keep doing it, and you eventually learn what does and what doesn't make people want to get as far away from you as possible. You eventually learn the little social cues that most people just know instinctively just through observation and connecting dots. You just have to take part.

It never becomes second nature (or at least, it hasn't for me yet), but it does get easier to participate in normal conversation. Doesn't mean you'll necessarily enjoy it, or seek it out, but if the need arises it's easier to not come across as an E.T.

>>94533176
>americans actually get addicted to sugar
holy shit

>>94554127
what guy?

>>94555152
You sound oddly familiar with this, anon. Is there something you wanna tell us?

>>94554988

Let me tell you this guy is deluding himself that she'll never leave, because he's grooming her for another guy to swoop in and snatch her away by pointing out how much of a dick he is. Hell, might already have happened and he doesn't even know yet.

Don't fall for the Chad Meme, it's not nearly as perfect as it looks from the outside.

>>94548083

Sounds you have tapeworms, son.

> TFW you keep trying to break from drinking soda, but when it comes to drinking water and water/light squash you drink it nearly a pint at a time regularly and it gets stale in taste.

I'm never going to be able to completely kick it, am i?

>>94556857
Try to brush your teeth more often and maybe use mouthwash regularly, that should take care of the stale taste.

If not, then look into buying better quality bottled waters instead of drinking shitty tap water brands like Aquafina. I like Smart Water myself, but there are probably better brands out there and I only have that preference because they happen to be cheap as fuck at a local convenience store.

>>94556857
The first day is hardest. The rest of the week it gets easier. By next week you won't even miss the taste of soda.

But it's easy to get back on he soda train if you've got an addictive personality, like me. So it's constant vigilance and shit.