Find today's joke

>>94158422

Food porn. Or fooly cooly reference.

>>94158422
>cutting the yolk in half instead of biting into it

>>94158422
Getting so much enjoyment and satisfaction from cutting a fresh cooked egg with perfect liquid yolk that it is pseudo-sexual, with suggestive imagery combined with sexual dialogue.

>>94158422
The joke is that he only had to draw the egg once, copy and paste it 3 times with minor alterations and still get paid regardless

>>94158422
The joke is that chickens are being tortured, mutilated and otherwise mistreated for monetary gain.

Most recipes call for eggs only because there was a time where it was thought that a woman's maternal sensibilities would call for it.

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>>94158422
god this guy is such a hack.

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>>94158525

>>94158422
The joke is that he doesn't have that fried egg on top of toast or an english muffin to absorb all that beautiful yolk so it's really just going to go to waste unless he licks the plate.

>>94158528
When did /co/ start hating him? I haven't seen him at all until a week or two ago. And the first time he popped up, I thought he was one of those comic makers from Funnyjunk that people started hating after he got popular and left the site, like that itsthetie dude.

>>94158422
it's loss

>>94158521
>Most recipes call for eggs only because there was a time where it was thought that a woman's maternal sensibilities would call for it
Seriously? What the fuck?

>>94158473
>not cutting around it, eating all the white first, then scooping up the yolk whole and putting it all in your mouth

>>94158521
Look out, guys, someone watched an Adam Conover sketch.

>>94158683
>not cutting around it, eating all the white first, then scooping up the yolk whole and putting it all in your mouth
Came here to post this

>>94158593
he could easily scrape it up with a rubber spatula

>>94158706
And then, what, lick the spatula?

Either way he's a goddamn monster.

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>>94158596
/co/ has hated him for at least a year now, which probably coincides with when he got big.
But regardless of that, he's hated because he's not funny. In most of his comics the punchline is either "funni face", or "haha I'm awkward". And then there's a handful of his comics where the punchline is socio-political garbage.

>>94158633
Oh shit.
It just keeps getting more and more abstract.

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>>94158719
>>94158633

>>94158683
patrician egg eater

>>94158718
Worse then that, his "funny face" isn't much of am exaggeration compared to the normal face most of the time

>>94158718
I'm just confused because I hadn't seem him, like, at all until a few weeks back and now every site I visit is making fun of him.

>>94158681
Seriously. And the man who did it? Sigmund Freud's nephew, Ed.

>>94158715
there's literally nothing wrong with licking the spatula, it's just a flatter type of spoon

I'd rather just have a boiled egg
nice and clean

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>>94158422

As a budding artist/autist and a competent chef, I'm fucking livid with this piece of shit comic.

This fucker couldn't draw a delicious-looking egg if he tried. Cutting into it doesn't leave some ridiculous-looking floppy shell of egg yolk. The whole thing takes on a velvety, lusciously creamy texture. It doesn't pop like a balloon, dribbling piss on your plate, you uncultured neanderthal.

And on top of that, what the fuck is up with that last panel? Is that supposed to convey enjoyment? It looks like a fucking apathetic moron hesitant to shovel the obviously shit egg in his extremely punchable face.

God fucking DAMN I'm mad.

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>>94158422
Eating her out on her period

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>>94158956

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Guys be honest is my comic funnier?

Sunny side up is true patrician taste.

Is this the dude who draws the really weird nipples on his characters?

>>94159058
No.

>>94159058
I laughed, and I hate you for it

>>94159058
He should have said, "How's the WEINER up there?" and then the other dude cum blasts him.

>>94159098
That could be anybody tbf

>>94159159
That's what I thought was happening from the thumbnail, honestly

>>94159194
Don't fucking talk to me.

>>94158422
I'm pretty sure this guy is referencing something, but I have no idea what? Are normal people just as confused?

>>94158956
oh...ooooooooohh...oh.

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>>94159253

>>94158422
White people love eggs

>>94159333
Egg dishes have been a staple of Middle Eastern and East Asian cuisines for fucking centuries, fuck off.

>>94158854
how recent was his loss parody? because he's one of the few loss parodies I've seen that is *less* funny than the original

>>94158683
I like to have some yolk with every white bite tho

>not eating most of the white, then laying the yoke and remaining white upside-down on hot buttered toast before breaking the yoke and letting every drop of golden goodness soak into the toast and mix with the butter

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I made the worst comic.

>>94159380
It was within the past month or so

I found it via a Tweet that called it the "first unfunny loss parody"

Egg yolk? More like egg yuck. Just shoot lard into your bloodstream you disgusting pigs.

>>94158422
Super minimum effort is the joke.

>>94159159
damn it this is a better idea.

>>94159474
I came.

>>94159380
Yeah he was in no position to try and mock anything. Plus, being fucking years late to that. Just a cheap attempt at recognition.

That fact that people will post dumb threads about bad comics, instead of discussing good ones.

>>94159158
gotcha!

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>>94159352
>harmless statement that white people like something
>/pol/ babby gets pissy for no reason

>>94159474
I'm surprised there is still not a female garfield comic on tumblr yet

>>94158718
Doesn't he literally copy and paste his faces?

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>>94159058
>>94159159

>>94159656
dont make better comics then me its rude

>>94158683
>not eating them scrambled

>>94158422

Is this loss?

>>94158596
He's not funny, and has a clinical case of expressionless sameface. Like B^U tier, but they make even less sense.

>>94159604
reminds me of that copypasta shared by butthurt /pol/ retards saying "we have opinions, stop oppressing us" which would be a good idea if their opinions didn't boil down to "nigger nigger nigger"

>>94159656
I noticed a spelling error. He says "bog guy" instead of "burn down your house and kill yourself and entire family for stealing my idea"

>>94159604
Nah fuck /pol/ but that post was retarded, everyone likes eggs.

>not popping the yolk and mopping it up with toast after eating the rest of the egg

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>>94159787
"Bog guy" isn't a typo.

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>>94159741

It's hilarity that he can't just do something and has to make a display out of doing it

>>94159058
It's retarded, but it got a chuckle out of me.

>>94159888
thats what im goin for i guess lol

>>94159829
No shit
>nothing goes over my head.... I would CATCH it.

>>94159604
>getting mad that a /pol/friend knows more about history and other cultures than you do

...Really?

>>94158683
>>94158705
>>94158743
My niggas

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>>94158739
sadly underrated

>>94159934
Dude, you went off on two separate ideas.
>X likes Y
>FUCK YOU, Z has liked Y FOREVER.

Okay... but how does Z effect X liking Y?

It's like saying "All Lives Matter" after someone says "Black Lives Matter", they're both true, you just want to jump in and be a contrarian asshole

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>>94159656
>Bog guy
>no Bogdachin
>No Bogdalips

>>94160025
That poster isn't me, I fucking hate /pol/ and was pointing out that everyone's liked eggs that has been into contact with them. Why the fuck even mention race in the first place when nobody was talking about it before then?

>>94158596
He's absolute shit
>hideous drawings
>completely unfunny

>>94160068
Because white people love eggs. It's a true statement, isn't it?

>>94160025
I'm not him, and the guy who got angry probably isn't even white.

>It's like saying "All Lives Matter" after someone says "Black Lives Matter", they're both true, you just want to jump in and be a contrarian asshole
Oh, it's Reddit. You could have started your post with that info.

>>94159058
for you.

>>94160115
Yeah but why specifically mention it if you're not implying that white people in particular like eggs more than other groups? Do you seriously look at a comic of some faggot eating eggs and try to figure out ways to lean racial jokes into it?

>>94158681
Not seriously. Try baking a cake without eggs (or substitute)

>>94160120
Oh I have no argument, you should have just started your post with that info.

>>94158633
Holy shit you are right.

>>94160225
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p__CFf3E3-c

>>94160275
>They were formulated differently
And there it is.

>>94160229
You don't have an argument, and the counterpoint in both cases is so blindingly obvious that I'm embarassed that this guy >>94160176 had to point it out to you.

>>94159570
I would say that he's even worse than buckley, or atleast at the same level with the sameface problem

>>94159058
Ha, the weather is windy.

>>94160307
>Try making a cake without an egg, it's impossible!
>They used to make eggless cake mixes until they had the idea to reformulate to require an egg
>See!? They can't make a cake without eggs!

Good luck to you out there, friend.

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>>94158445

>Full Swing was my first episode
>that scene

>>94160355
White people like eggs, man. What else can I tell you?

>>94158422
>buzzfeed

kys
y
s

>>94160482
this is a good punchline. I shouldve done this

>>94158683
the egg whites are the worst part. i skip them all together and put the whole yoke in my mouth, puncturing it with my teeth/tongue

anyone here cut toast into strips and dip it in the yoke?

hard yolk only
soft is disgusting

>>94160487
Nigger I said without egg or substitute, the different formulation obiously has substitutes.

>>94160793
Okay so, let me just get this straight;

You think it isn't possible to bake a cake without an egg, unless you bake a cake without an egg and then obviously it is possible because instead of an egg, they used applesauce and it's the same thing.

I say applesauce specifically because it is the vegan substitute for eggs in baking and it's pretty far from an egg.

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>>94158683
This right here, why let the yolk spill out onto the plate? It's the best part, save it for last and eat all of it.

>>94160275
oshit is that the guy from whose line
he was on it pretty often

>>94161562

Source

>>94160946
Vegan cakes never have the texture of a regular cake. You can make a cake without baking, you can make a cake without flour, but the idea of a cake in the way we're talking about here needs eggs.

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>>94159623
here anon

>>94161562
>fapping to Pearl

Gross.

>>94159830
Didn't he get super butthurt when he saw this

>>94161871
I guess if you keep moving goal posts you can make anything you say correct, anon.

>You can make a cake without eggs, but that is no true cake

Tell me about the true Scotsman, too, please.

>>94159706
My nigga. Scarmbled is the best way to eat eggs.

>>94158683
10/10.

>>94160115
am white

don't love eggs or even like them

where ya getting your facts from, THE RACIST STORE????

>>94160068
And people still say /pol/ is the problem.

>>94160355
>Can't even mention whites liking something without being screamed at for being /pol/.

K.

>>94162530
WHITE PEOPLE BTFO

>>94162384
Someone needs to post his response.

>>94162530
>This guy claims to be white, but hates eggs and has a loose understanding of grammar and English.

Ooogity boogity, get out of here, spook.

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>>94158916
We'll get along just fine.

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>>94158956

>>94159058
Smog alert.

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>>94162749

>>94162734
>complaining about grammar on the internet

people like you should be put in camps

also eggs still suck fellow cracker

>>94162785
>this guy wants to put white people in camps, also hates eggs, still claims to be white.

This is surely one sticky tar baby we gots here, huh?

>>94162851
>lives in denial about eggs' mediocrity
oof ba boof i feel sorry for the parents

>>94158422
The joke is that yolks are the most disgusting food in existing.

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>>94162785
>fellow cracker

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>>94162891
THEY'RE POULTRY FARMERS WHO LOST IT ALL AFTER THEIR EGGDEAVORS FAILED BECAUSE OF EGG HATING JIGGABOOS LIKE YOU, DON'T TALK TO ME OR MY FATHER EVER AGAIN.

>>94162438
At least I don't like vegan cake mate. And yea, crab and breadcrumbs is a fucking cake, ya got me. Glad you can feel so powerful via semantics.

>>94162296
Topical chuckles! Also, that should be a penis if it's the patriarchy.

>>94162973
Friend, you're the one who is claiming that a cake isn't a cake unless it has eggs and you're berating me for semantics?

>>94162972
Oh anon. I never knew. Please. Let me buy all of your parents eggs.

>>94158683
Thread should have ended here. This is patrician. And once you get the hang of it you'll never eat it a different way again.

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>>94163051
He he he... my plan worked without a hitch and I'm not even white!

>>94163079
your dad is a lousy poultry farmer anyway these eggs suck fuck you and your lying ass eggs

>>94159570
>Plus, being fucking years late to that.
It's still a living meme that people make edits based upon. He'd only be late if it finally died for once and for all.

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>>94158683
My man.

>>94161824
http://eye.swfchan.com/flash.asp?id=189930&n=Minus8+sex_with_rocks.swf

>>94159755
200%?

>>94159604
>Make race bait comment
>Get called out
>FUCKING /POL/ REEEEEE
you should try suicide fambolambrigini

>>94158596
on top of being shit, he steals art and is popular

>>94158596
You fucking massive tumblr faggot please fuck off forever.

>>94163965
How did that post in any way had to do
with tumblr?

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roast my comic

>>94164050
It's ok, but why is it furry.

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because cartoon animals are cuter than humans

>>94164099
Why the fuck are you a frog then.

Is this an interracial relationship

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>>94164159
>Is this an interracial relationship

exactly the premise!

>>94164159
maybe he's french

>>94164178
aw man you cant fool me. thats the same exact thing as that really old flash animation with the bunny and cat, "there she is"

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>>94158683
I don't understand

>>94164178
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsWgrf3XLKQ
I'm guessing this was either a big inspiration for you or something you were not aware of and need to watch immediately.

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>>94158525

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>>94164219
Yeah, been referencing it alot! Glad you caught that!

>>94164242
One of the inspirations that helped me start drawing back when it was new on Newgrounds. love that series to death

>>94164266
I'm glad, it's a great little animated series. Best of luck.

>>94164266
oh i gotcha. actually this could be a good idea for a webcomic if you got good at drawing (no offense)

>>94158683
>not cutting around it, eating all the white first, then scooping up the yolk whole and putting it in the trash

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>>94164306
>>94164285
Thanks! I was expecting a roast, didn't expect compliments! I'm really trying to improve on my art, glad you guys like it! :)

What do you guys think of hotsauce/Tabasco mixed with ketchup on eggs?

>>94158422
Can't tell. Did he actually redraw the head this time?

>>94158422
>Comics MUST have jokes in every instance!

You know you're autistic, right?

>>94163983
The implication that people only hate him because he's popular, I'm assuming.

>>94164340
for sure man. keep it up and make good shit

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>>94158683
>>94158705
>>94158743
>>94159940
>>94163074
MY BROTHERS!

>>94158596
Speaking of funnyjunk,isn't this guy cool?
https://funnyjunk.com/user/crixuz

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>>94164340
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPJLyHZFWRc

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>>94164549

>>94158596
https://funnyjunk.com/channel/4chan/Funnyjunk+mentioned/BxxrLOk/

>>94158683
>not cutting around it, eating all the white first, scooping up the yolk whole, putting it all on a piece of toast, then eating it

>>94164757
https://funnyjunk.com/channel/4chan

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>>94164389
>ketchup
>on anything
>EVER

>>94158422
His right eye is escaping from his skull.

>>94165165
B-but what else will I season my well done steak with?

>>94163013

It doesn't matter if it's a cake or not (I'm not the guy who got lost up his own ass with his pedantic argument about the word cake) but it won't have the light fluffiness of a stereotypical flour-and-eggs cake. Next you'll be telling me meringues can be made with apple sauce. Eggs have particularly properties that they will pass onto things they are cooked in, and the particular texture that we consider 'cakey', that airy, floof pile, is impossible without eggs. You can make different kinds of cakes without eggs (and they will still be cakes), but they will inevitably have a different texture than the one imparted by being filled with eggs. None of this nonsense about mothers or whatever.

>>94158683
>>94160720
>this many pathetic fatasses without drive nor dream in the thread
/fit/ was right

>>94158854
You clearly don't have enough boring people on facebook.

>>94158422
God I fucking hate eggs. Gross as fuck.

FOOD ANALOGY
O
O
D

A
N
A
L
O
G
Y

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>>94158422
You've never sexually play with your food

>tfw I've spanked my pancakes with my silverware while calling it dirty as I drizzled it with syrup in the middle of a dinner with my friends

>>94166109
I have a friend I'm reasonably certain would do something like that, you're not alone.

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>>94159830
That's actually six, but have what is actually 38 Adam Ellis comics merged.

>>94166109
>>94166145
>i like it so it's sexy
This isn't the 90's any more, you don't have to be so lolrandom.

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>>94166170

>>94164422
>muh relatability
if it's not funny what's the fucking point?

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>>94159623

>>94166207
If you didn't have autism you'd be able to relate to it and understand innately. Your extreme autistic condition prevents you from fully comprehending humanity.