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Thread images: 251
Norrin Radical
Storytime of Pain: Civil War II 2017-07-22 04:59:44 Post No. 94068942
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Storytime of Pain: Civil War II 2017-07-22 04:59:44 Post No. 94068942
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Good afternoon /co/, and welcome to day three of SDCC.
Last year, for the Storytime of Pain, I shared with the class an awful event.
It only makes sense to continue with something BIGGER and BETTER than the last. Something, that according to Bendis, will someday be adapted to film, like other great Marvel events.
Right?My condolences to Illuminated Anon.
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Previous Threads:
Day 1:
>>94011836 (Marville)
>>94015371 (Trouble)
>>94013505 (The Unfunnies)
>>94017323 (Nemesis)
>>94014562 (Joker's Daughter)
>>94017305 (Amazons Attack)
>>94015704 (Change)
>>94024786 (The Surface)
>>94017795 (Earth-2: World's End)
>>94016653 (Countdown pt. 1)
>>94021468 (Countdown pt. 2)
>>94026850 (Countdown pt. 3)
Day 2:
>>94036625(The Rape of Ms. Marvel)
>>94033336 (Jade Street Protection Service)
>>94037347 (Liberality for All)
>>94037063 (Champions)
>>94036764 (Nightwing: Brothers in Blood)
>>94035400 (The Deal/God’s End)
>>94038108 (America)
>>94040156 (Thoughts on Being a Girl in Elementary School and a few other zines)
>>94043883 (Cry for Justice)
>>94041770 (Marvel Mangaverse: Ghost Riders)
>>94044426 (Rich Johnston’s The Avengefuls)
>>94047152 (Sonichu pt. 1)
>>94055034 (Sonichu pt. 2)
>>94048652 (Phoenix: Legacy of Fire)
>>94048655 (Rise of Arsenal)
>>94051730 (Batgirl: Redemption)
>>94050809 (Chaos by Ithiliam pt. 1)
>>94051195 (Countdown pt. 4)
>>94055444 (Countdown pt. 5)
Day 3:
>>94066681 (US War Machine 2.0)
>>94064494 (Extreme Comics)
>>94067801 (DIESEL)
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>>94068942
I have been waiting for this. This is Bendis being Bendis as possible.
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I never bothered reading this, but I'll read it now. Holy shit $6 an issue?
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>>94068942
I know this a storytime of pain, but this image pretty much sums up the first issue of this shitty event perfectly.
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>>94068942
aww yeah time for some half-assed political commentary
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Here we go...
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...
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Reminder that Doc Samson hasn't appeared since this issue, and it was never explained how he's alive again.Illuminated Anon's Carol's War parody makes more sense, just having him be in her head.
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>>94069260
>>94069247
>>94069230
Why were these double page spreads?
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>>94069217
THIS
Fucking this. This was the moment I knew CWII was going to be shit. This was the moment I knew Bendis would do his worst and man I wish I would have been wrong.
>Bendispeak at his maximum
>Ignoring continuity for the sake of it
>Killed Rhodes for pure synergy
>Miles is the fucking key of everything
Man, Bendis deserved to be fired after this shitshow
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Quick sidebar.
This issue had 14 VARIANTS attached.
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Reminder to count the double page spreads.
Each one takes up 2 of your page count.
Spend wisely.
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>>94069311
>Bendis OC are the key to everything
Fixed
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>>94069401
Beast you fucking traitor.
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>>94069480
Since when can Hawkeye fly?
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Now, to insert the FCBD issue!
I'm sure nothing in this will be made redundant...
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>>94069694
>This coming from Tony who literally locked up the Hulk and threw him off the planet.
What is going on here? Does he not remember doing that?
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>>94069217
why is doc Green alive ?
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>>94069806
>No feet
>oversized guns
Thanos is making Rob proud
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>>94069401
>>94069431
They are such creepy fucks
http://illuminatingcomics.tumblr.com/post/158700471785/theres-no-real-big-difference-nowadays-hank
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>>94068942
Reminder that Carol did nothing wrong.
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>>94069976
>earth avengers
opposed to what ?
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Gonna skip tie-in ads that occupy the rest of each issue.
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Hey look.
It's this spread. Again.
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>>94070100
What's Ulyses doing these days?
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Hey look, another two page spread.
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>>94070110
pretty much.
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>>94070110
He's in All New All Different Nextwave.
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>>94070044
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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>>94069869
Poor poor Rhodey....
Yes, I'm still pissed.
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>>94070153
Why Beast? Why?
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Me and my strong drink are enjoying the storytimes of pain and the hard work you put into actually having these comics in you possession.
But seriously, whens the magnum opus of comics,Girls?
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I haven't read comics in 10 years, since the last Civil War. explain wtf is going on in one or two sentences plz
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>>94069853
Right on the tit, I've heard that hurts.
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>>94070364
Bendis saw Minority Report, and thought "oracle's have never been used in comics before, time to write an event around them" and did precisely 0 research.
This even also has scenes that he thought were from the Captain America: Civil War movie, because he was only allowed to see the trailer (so he saw Rhodey falling, and assumed he died).
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>>94070364
Carol is best girl, Tony a shit.
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It won't let me repost the spread again.
Just remember it's there.
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>>94070469
What the fuck
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>>94070543
Wow, this actually made me angry.
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At one point, I considered including tie-ins that attempt to flesh out this story, like the Uncanny Avengers aftermath with Wade attempting to break Clint out, or the Ultimates issues explaining what was with Thanos this whole time, or the Hulk issues explaining Banner was powerless.
Eh.
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Reminder that because of Bendis, Kamala Khan has canonically watched a man get shot in the face.
What a pro
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There was another one of those twopage spreads of CHANGE THE FUTURE PROTECT THE FUTURE starting us off.
Glad that's over with.
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unf
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>>94070880
This is awful even by Bendis standards
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>>94068942
POOCHIE GOES BACK TO HIS HOME PLANET
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>>94070967
I can barely tell that the images are from the actual comic and not the parody at this point.
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>>94071148
Wow, just to call him a cunt like that seems uncalled for.
>>
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>>94069480
IIRC there is a theory the Pixie in the top left corner is a coloring mistake and it was supposed to be the new teen Wasp. I think that is true.
>>
I think, sad as we all are for Marvel, we have to appreciate that just the past year alone have brought us three or four new Storytimes of Pain.
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>>94069571
I think this comic will be remembered as belonging to the Inhuman push age.
>>
>>94071222
I'd still throw down IvX as a possible one, because that reached great heights of stupidity as well.
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>>94071263
>>94071222
I think IvX should be storytimed. Although I remember liking the first issue.
>>
>>94071261
Which reminds me, is the Inhuman push age coming to an end? Because they went from having around 5 titles (including Ms Marvel) to just one (not including Ms Marvel)..
>>
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>>94071409
Jesus, comic book fights suck
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>>94071357
They currently have:
>Royals
>Black Bolt
>Secret Warriors
Then outside:
>Ms. Marvel
>Moongirl
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>>94071505
Bendis legitimately can't write a fight. People joke about Miles always using a venom blast to stop people, but that actually happens.
He also had a rag-tag group of heroes beat Thanos off-panel in his Guardians of the Galaxy finale
>>94071543
Get ready to see this at least three times, and then probably more in Secret Empire
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Sidebar: The damn CHANGE THE FUTURE PROTECT THE FUTURE spread returns this issue, and each issue afterwards.Also, if I keep including them, the image limit will be reached.
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Wow this shit is dumb.
>>
I'm liking it so far. Come at me
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AND HERE'S THIS IS AGAIN.
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>>94071776
>I learned that if you are on Captain America's side... you can rest easy knowing you are on the right side.
heh
>>
>>94071543
>>94071594
I wonder why Miles won't just venom blast Hydra Cap when that fight actually happens.
>>
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Good job, Miles.
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>>94072089
I forgot that the last few issues were filled with actual ads for future books.
>>
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AND YET AGAIN.
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Why does it feel like there are zero stakes to this story?
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>>94072455
Because there isn't much.
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Skipping the last "chapter" marker, for image constraint.
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What an iconic finale image!
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And here's THAT page again.
>>
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>>94072665
I never knew M belt buckles were so popular.
>>
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>>94072270
>>94072292
This is the best Carol has ever looked
>>
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>>94068942
This event was always doomed from the start due to its premise
I know Bendis has a selective understanding of Marvel's continuity but you're seriously telling me that no one had the balls at the creative summit to tell him that precognition is a common power in the Marvel Universe?
>>
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>>94069952
She would appear to disagree with you given her bedside speech in Secret Empire #7's preview
Then again, that's written by Spencer who clearly has a hateboner for Bendis
>>
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>>94070394
>>94070439
Friendly reminder that this still happened anyways, only it turned out to be with a Hydra clone of Hulk and some LMDs that the new Giant Man built...
So yeah, Carol panicked, jumped the gun without examining the data and got Bruce killed for no good reason
>>
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>>94069155
i fucking hate this little twerp
>>
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And this, is our eternal reward.
Previews of all of Marvel's next big events!
>>
>>94071440
>>94071455
Love how everyone just ignores the fact that Vision just tried to murder Kitty there
>>
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>>94069311
Really? Cause the moment I knew it was going to be shit was when I read the NeoGaf leaker's spoilers and realized it sounded very plausible to what Bendis would do.
>>
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>>94072882
Events which, thanks to CW2's "baby" delays, had already started long before these visions
>>
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>>94070364
Remember how you thought Civil War by Millar was bad? Well this makes Millar's Civil War look like Watchmen.
>>
>>94069260
She-Hulk just straight up jumping miles in the air to land on the Helicarrier is as good as this event got.
>>
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Farewell, Homer.
You were a living plot device, gone not soon enough.
>>
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>>94071031
The moment I saw that page I really couldn't believe he actually did that. All it needed was Obnoxio the Clown standing in for Krusty and it'd be complete.
>>
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>>94073036
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yi0uX2sZuFg
>>
>>94071263
>>94071355
Did Death of X get storytimed? I haven't been keeping track.
>>
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>>94071357
I think it would depend on how well the TV show does.
>>
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fucking really
>>
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>>94073092
>I'm hardly one to point a finger
Dude...>>94070617
>>
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And that, as they say, is that.
Feel free to discuss.
>>
>>94072832
>>94072842
Oh this was such fucking bullshit
Bendis clearly intended to kill off Tony here so he could give his Donut Steel the spotlight
But since he did such a shit job at making Carol's side look good, he had to dial it back so Carol wouldn't be an outright murderer
So we have Tony surviving a cosmic blast capable of atomizing his Buster Armor and knocking everyone else back because NANOMACHINES SON
And in spite of it all, Carol still looks like a moral monster and Riri's push as the new Iron Man never picked up any steam because Tony's Coma AI hangs over her run like a giant abort switch
B R A V O
E
N
D
I
S
>>
>>94070630
Thanks, doc
>>
>>94070630
So why did he shoot bruce with 2 green dust arrows?
>>
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>>94073048
We REALLY need to put a moratorium on invoking religious iconography in mainstream comics
>>
I've got to pen some apology emails to Mark Millar after reading this.
>>
>>94073186
So much of this spread is dedicated to promoting Bendis' characters and upcoming pet projects
It's almost impressive in how selfish this conclusion is
>>
>>94073199
Carol is fucking hot. Love the artist.
>>
>>94073110
Seriously, is there a single more hateable hypocrite than Hank McCoy?
>>
Whatever happened to that anon that was doing an abridged version of CWII? It was fun as hell to participate and the final product had some pretty hilarious dialogue in some parts. Wish he/she came back.
>>
>>94073036
Friendly reminder that at the time of this issue's publishing, Eternity was still written as to be bound with chains in Ewing's Ultimates
Bendis and Continuity: It's like Scott Steiner going down a one-way street
>>
>>94073314
Come on
CWII is bad but it's not Unfunnies bad
>>
>>94073470
They seem to be mia, but the Illuminating Comics anon is doing one right now:
http://illuminatingcomics.tumblr.com/post/158105476535/the-worst-thing-after-a-war-is-a-war-fought
>>
>>94073048
Man I remember how fucking hard I laughed at the sudden fucking Pieta reference in the middle of a comic that thematically had nothing to do with it. The reactions during the storytime were golden as well. Miles as the fucking Virgin, bravo Bendis.
>>
>>94073082
Death of X isnt a a disaster imo. Id even give it a 6/10 or 5/10.
IvX is terrible, alltough the first issue is pretty good.
I would post some panels from IvX but the 250 image replies limits prevents me.
I wanted to post the Psylocke vs Medusa fight (surrender, I have Katanas, you cant beat me with hair), and Block Bolt flying with Medusa (Medusa, and Black Bolt.. together..that's...beautiful)
>>
>>94073110
I didn't know how much I hated Beast until this very page.
>>
>>94069299
Say, has anyone actually seen "Michelle" since this page?
It'd be hilarious if she ended up dead in one of Secret Empire's camps as another one of Spencer's spiteful stabs at Bendis
>>
>>94069993
Guardians of the Galaxy, it's a Bendis book afterall
>>
>>94073596
He was good once, but they basically made him impossible to like over the course of a decade.
It's sad, really. He was one of my favourite X-Men/Avengers.
>>
>>94073199
Let's build a wall
>>
>>94069768
Yes, actually... One of the ways Marvel tried to walk back the damage of CW1 and tried to make him more like the now-proven profitable version of Tony Star was to voluntarily wipe his brain clean so that Norman Osborn's HAMMER couldn't plunder it for secrets
Luckily for Tony, he keep a backup storage version of his brainwaves just in case and SURE ENOUGH it was backed up before CW1 happened
>>
>>94073677
She cameoed in Riri's book.
>>
>>94072089
>>94072105
>>94072129
Never mind the fact that the fact the classic OML timeline should no longer exist following Banner's death and that this is completely different from how Ulysses' powers were shown to work previously, BENDIS JUST SAW THE LOGAN TRAILER AND HE'S GOT SOME NEW COATTAILS TO HANG OFF OF!
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>>94073406
Wow, a blind person reading comics!
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>>94071810
Wait, wasn't Thor just seen teleporting away?
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>>94075160
Yeah, but Thor left the scene earlier. She wasn't supposed to be in that teleporting shot
>>
>>94075160
Yes, Civil War II was terrible.
>>
>>94073199
It's kinda weird that "SJW Marvel", which usually loves to mock Trump, has President Obama approve building the space wall as his last act in office, instead of having President Trump approve it in his first days in office.
>>
>>94069247
>Doc Samson hasn't appeared since this issue
Actually, he showed up in Invincible Iron Man. It was blink and you'll miss it cameo where you see him on a TV screen presumably talking about this new awesome Ironheart that everyone loves for some reason.
Also written by Bendis naturally.
>>
>>94075598
My hopes for the new Duggan Guardians stowaway member is either Doc or Maria Hill.
>>
>>94070003
>>94070012
>>94070033
I've said it before and I'll say it again.
This is fucking bullshit, and a horrible way of instigating the "war".
Carol did nothing wrong here. She received a warning that Thanos was coming and acted on it. If she hadn't acted on it, Thanos would have gotten his hand on Cosmic Cube shit and would have killed pretty much everyone as shown in USAvengers.
Just because Rhodey happened to die on this particular mission (and really, heroes risk their lives on every mission they ever go on) doesn't mean that acting on Ulysses' vision was the wrong thing to do. Tony is a piece of shit, if it were up to him he would have just ignored Thanos.
Doesn't excuse the minority report stuff Carol does later obviously, but Tony is still a piece of shit and nobody calls him out on it or how he blames Carol for everything instead of Thanos.
>>
As someone newish to comics yet also knows a bit about the first Civil War, can someone explain if II was just a desperate attempt by Marvel to catch lightning in a bottle a second time?
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>>94075897
More like movie synergy to go along with the movie Cap America Civil War, by having people seeing the word civil war on the new shelves and going "oh What's This?
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>>94075897
>desperate attempt by Marvel to catch lightning in a bottle a second time?
that and and attempt to cash in on the movie
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>>94070880
Where s that comic mocking Bendis's dialogue writing?
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>>94068942
I'm not following Secret Empire at all
Would you include that in the next storytime of pain so far?
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>>94077140
http://illuminatingcomics.tumblr.com/post/125835148455/sitting-a-five-pages-parody-five-pages-five
There's five pages to it
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>>94077279
>Gladiator... you're gay
I love how obvious he made it that he just tilted a single panel slightly to the left. Good shit.
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>>94069641
Is this ever explained?
>>
Where was Mr Fantastic during all of this?
>>
Lmao I actually bought all Civil War 2 issues from 0 all the way to Oath. Except the Tie-Ins. Fuck that.
>>
>>94078771
He and Sue have been MIA since Secret Wars, and they are "out fixing the multiverse" aka Marvel doesn't care enough about them to put them in a book. Ben and Johnny are on around, and it sounds like they might be looking for the rest of the family later this year.
The funny thing is that "fixing the multiverse" is more interesting than half this shit we've gotten instead
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>>94077924
Fuck no.
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