I walked out. This was garbage.

You couldn't tell by the trailers?
Looked like Jupiter Ascending 2.0.

>I walked out
Did you get a refund?

>>94067239
>>94067276

The first two minutes of the movie is amazing!
And then the rest of the movie happens.

>>94067276
meh sometimes they spend more money on the trailer just to sell fake hype. and it works which is the sad part. don't know if it's applicable here but this shit does happen

I honestly can't even imagine how bad a movie needs to be for me to walk out. What was the problem, chief?

>>94067239
BIG
DARK
EYEBROWS

Also they are brother and sister,
right? Because adventuring siblings in an incestuous relationship would be kind of hot.

>>94067296
Nah. It's just $5 so I'm not too concerned.

>>94067338
G.I. Joe came fucking close.

>>94067338
I doubt the OP walked out. He's just trying to make a splash on the internet. "I was disappointed" doesn't have the same effect.

>>94067239
Jesus that really does look like a ripoff of the N7 armor in ME3.

>>94067338
I nearly walked out on Age of Ultron during the Natasha/Bruce scene at the farm. But I was with family so I had no choice but to sit through the rest.

>>94067338
I've never walked out of a movie before, but I would have walked out of Beauty and The Beast if I wasn't there with people who wanted to stay.

>>94067239
even if it's bad I really want to see it. It looks so pretty and it's the directors life's goal, I want to see it.

>>94067239
Isn't this /tv/?

Not shitposting that all live action should be /tv/, but I don't know if this is related to a comic or not.

>>94067362
Then you got gamed by the system son.
Also $5 for a ticket? Sign me the fuck up.

>>94067347
Sure

>>94067429
Valerian is an adaptation of a French comic I believe, so it's vaguely /co/-related

>>94067430
matinee pricing dude. Not him but here at my theater is 6.50 for an adult ticket before 12.

>>94067367
>G.I. Joe
This is for me rock bottom. I can not believe, that something can be worse written.

>>94067239
>Production Budget: $209.184 million

>>94067402
>>94067410
What was so wrong with these movies that they couldn't hold your attention at least in a sort of "let's see where this is going" kind of way?

Walking out of an Anvengers movie for interactions between just two of the characters is a bit much considering how much is going on in each of those movies.

>>94067402
Bull-fucking-shit, you did what every other fucktard did and didn't give the scene two fucking thoughts, it wasn't until you were home and thought about and read the reviews that you were like, "Yeah that scene was stupid".

All movies are good until you sit and think about it

So are you saying I should go watch Dunkirk tonight instead?

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>>94067429
stop reading capeshit

>>94067338
The plot was absolute nonsense. I was half way through the film and still didn't know what it was about. You wanna know how dogshit the writing was? Dane Dehaan and Cara Delevigne wear some GI Joe super suits. There is a big scene where Dehaan tears through the space station in the suit to catch some guy. Later on Delevigne gets kidnapped by some alien hillbilly fishermen whilst wearing the suit and for some reason can't escape. They literally were carrying her in a wodden cage.

Cara Delevigne can't act for shit too. She's monotone throughout the film and has the worst lines. She looks at a glowing butterfly and says "Oh pretty butterfly!" like a child. Most of her dialogue is nonsensical crap like that. I ended up walking out when she unconvincingly screamed at the alien hillbilly in anger.

>>94067429
Hypothetically not because it's based off a comic book, but no one is going to talk about the comic book. Instead everyone is going to talk about film like most of these threads as if it is /tv/ either way.

>>94067239
What is this movie?

>>94067347
It's fucking weird. They're not siblings but it looks like the casting department went out of its way to find two actors who look like they could be.

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>>94067450
It is exactly as related as any MCU shit.

Besson fucked it all up and we're never getting another shot.

>>94067485
Give it a chance. It uses these weird things called props and locations.

>>94067429
>cared enough to post in a thread about a film he doesn't know is even based on a comic

Why are you even here?

>>94067450
The fuck are you on about 'vaguely', it's no different than another DC/Marvel adaptation and just as relevant

>>94067374
I walked out.

>>94067239
I really hoped it wasn't.

Hollywood can't be trusted to adapt anything

>>94067429
It's an adaptation of Valerian et Laureline. THE french space opera comic.

I remember looking into the comics a few years ago but never ended up reading them.

They're supposed to be good, right?

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>>94067551
>Besson fucked it all up
This is my shocked face.

>>94067454
>not getting the matinee price any time you want
Feels good using an old ass student id without a year on it.

>>94067551
Besson is a fucking hack, and Fifth Element is garbage.

>>94067515
>kidnapped by some alien hillbilly fishermen whilst wearing the suit and for some reason can't escape

Did you ever wonder how many "problems" in episodes of The Clone Wars wars could have just disappeared if Jedi remembered they could use the force?

Anyway, you sound like a massive faggot. I'll still go see the movie.

>>94067485
Yes.

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>>94067338
The closest I ever got to walking out was pic related, right at the beginning when she's about to walk into the criminal's building and it's intercut with scenes of animals getting fucked up, but I'm glad I stayed, because that fucking movie provided some painful belly laughs later on, can't remember the last time I got tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. It's the same director as OP's, yeah?

>>94067617
This was Besson and Europa films, though

>>94067639
The Force has its limitations. This is like watching Iron Man get put in a wodden cage and not blast his way out.

I bet you like Bayformers.

>>94067652
Yeah Besson did both Lucy and Valerian.

>>94067338
American Me

>>94067661
My mistake. I'm too mad at hollywood adaptations, whenever I hear there's a new one I instantly assume they are from them.

I do remember seeing some shitty french adaptations before. didn't expect one of them to be high profile

>Cara Delevigne can't act for shit too.

Isn't Delevigne a discount Watson?

>>94067347
In space, no one can hear you cry out BROTHER while orgasming.

>>94067835
it is very COLLLDD.....in SPACCCEEE

>>94067239
She looks like a dude

>>94067499
Valarian isn't easy to get ahold of or at all well known in the US. I first heard about it several years ago, and could only find English versions of scattered books.
>capeshit
Stop doing that. It doesn't make anyone like want you like or stop likeing what they like.

>>94067476
It's what happens when you skip days with Adderall.

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>>94067239
Yes, but it was beautiful garbage.

Visually stunning, wonderful opening sequence, and absolutely breath taking immersion into imaginative worlds.

That said, everything else was rotten garbage.

>Imagine a future where someone is able to replicate your favorite food in appearance and scent. Now, imagine you're hungry and that you're invited to sit down to feast. Try to picture yourself eating the first bite and realizing that it tastes like a medley of fecal matter from obese /v/tier posters.

That's Valerian.

Cara was hot as hell, though. She can't act and should invest heavily in lessons or something because goddamn it would have been better if the plot stated "She's an Android or something with a busted OS."

Also, it doesn't help that Valerian and Lauraline look vaguely related.

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>>94067824
>Isn't Delevigne a discount Watson?

>>94067824
in her defence Delevigne is at least a nice person

>>94067936
Didn't she raise a big stink about how all superhero comics objectify women and are filth despite her being a supermodel and, y'know, the Enchantress?

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>>94067896
>Valarian isn't easy to get ahold...in the US
It is now; collected editions have been coming out in order to promote the movie, I'm sure.

>>94067998
Being retarded doesn't automatically makes you a bad person

I never walk out of movies, no matter how bad. I picked the movie to see, so I will suffer through it.

>>94067338
'Gamer' did it for me personally.

>>94067998
Basic pop kettle black mentality, it goes around a lot in Hollywood.

>>94067239
Are the comics good?

>>94067824
French comic adaptations have the highest budget of French movies (Valerian dwarfing the previous highest budget Asterix movies) and Besson is basically the only French director/producer who makes French movies with Hollywood actors and heavily aims for foreign markets.

>>94067480
Some of us are capable of thinking about more than one thing at the same time. You seem like somebody who saw a bunch of shitty Marvel comics and bought them anyway, then tried to justify that mistake.

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>Not smoking a fat blunt in the car before seeing this trainwreck in IMAX 3D.

This is why I love you fucking nerds. <3

>>94067998
as someone who knows her at least semi-personally, she isn't very bright. But she's still lovely to know.

>>94067239
What is it? Looks like some Hunger Games bullshit. Those only score as good movies with girls anyway.

>>94067239
>Walking out of something you spent 20 dollars for
You know, you're the only person that loses in this situation

>>94068243
I like them a lot, they're space opera with those offbeat French aesthetics.

>>94067347
>Also they are brother and sister, right?

Not in the comics, no.

>>94068454
$5

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>>94067622
Yep.

>>94067414
>directors life's goal
Well then there must at least be effort put into it. I might check it out.

>>94068502
My point still stands

>>94067239
You should have saw a GOOD movie like War for the Planet of the Apes. Or Spider-Man Homecoming.

>>94068540
What point? Does your mommy still give you an allowance or are you just a poorfag? Adults wipe their ass with $5.

>>94067652
Was that the one where they got morgan fucking freeman in to spew bullshit about only using 10% of the brain?

>>94068455
>offbeat French aesthetics.
not so much hips then?

>>94068559
Already seen them. I was going to see Dunkirk buts it's only playing the afternoon at my local theater and it won't be $5.

>>94068570
>Adults wipe their ass with $5.
Literally?

>>94068570
Man shut up.

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>>94067239

>>94068631
It's like $5 for a small pack of tissues so yeah.

>>94068631
Sometimes, yeah.
If you don't rust your ass on single-ply.

>>94068633
What's wrong kid? Realizing you need to get an actual job so $5 won't be such a big deal to you?

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>anons in this thread unironically hating on thick brows
Absolute shit taste

>>94068649
I'm surprised that many critics even gave it a passing grade.

>>94067313
Warcraft?

>>94068570
no, I drink it, in beer form

>>94068649
That's pretty forgiving considering that it's rotten. RT should really reevaluate their scale. There needs to be a ranking between fresh and rotten.

We've gone from the likes of Will Smith, Arnold Schwarzenneger, Bruce Willis, Danny Glover and Sigourney Weaver leading our big sci fi alien epics to Dane Dehann and Cara Delivigne.

The Hollywood movie star is dead.

>>94067652
I legitimately lost my shit when she started time traveling. My laughter caused other people to stop stifling their giggles and let loose. The whole theatre was rolling by the time we got the UNIVERSAL USB stick.

>>94068742
>There needs to be a ranking between fresh and rotten.

No, that's a terrible idea. The whole point is to create an aggregate.

>>94068846

The movie wasn't made by Hollywood.

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>>94068348
If I'm going to suffer I might as well not blunt the pain.

COMEDY BRONZE

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>>94067562
> It uses these weird things called props and locations.

>>94067338
I literally walked out from Spider-Man 3 halfway through. Not because it was that bad I was just too sick and had to go home that time

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>>94067338

I walked out of this because I heard gunfire and screaming.

>>94067367
>There are people who didn't like G.I. Joe for the fun, trashy movie that it was

Maybe I was alone in this.

>>94068706
This gif always got me. Like what was the director saying to the camera guy?
>Ok zoom in and pan left- OK wow stop Camera 2 what the FUCK?

>>94069047
They just wanted real, American heroes, anon.
Is it too much to ask for?

>>94068995
You are a well advised guy

>>94068995
>edgy jokes
thats why I come to this place

>>94069065
I wish more movies would embrace the campyness of certain properties but not make it self-parody.

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>>94068692

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>>94069047
I liked one part of it

Anyone watched the animated series? Or anime, not quite sure.

>>94067617
>THE french space opera comic.
Eh?

I don't understand this at all. The Valerian and Laureline comics that I read seemed a lot more silly and parody.

Also, I don't buy the whole "Star Wars was based on this you guys" shill. Fool me once with the Incal.
Besides, those euro comics were strip-mined decades ago, and any good ideas that were stolen from them have had decades to be improved upon elsewhere. Why even bother with the originals anymore when they're going to be so primitive and boring?

My only exception to this experience is Metabarons. That has aged well and is still pretty fucking rad to read, even if it's recognizably Jodo's blueballs from not making Dune.

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>>94068995
>(you)

>>94068706
I think everyone here agrees that Cara and her eyebrows are delicious. However, she's not qualified to act in anything but abc tier soap operas.

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>>94069197
I knew those uniforms reminded me of something.

Even though there isn't enough representation of women and people of color did during the conflict I guess I'll watch Dunkirk instead.

>>94068995
You know my parents banned me from seeing this because they thought I'd turn into a fucking Columbine shooter or something from watching it because of the crazy theaters shooter honestly I wasn't missing much but still

>>94068649
so it still did better than most DC movies. bretty good

>>94069559
>my parents banned me from seeing this
how old are you now? 10?

>>94069608
No I'm not this shit came out in 2012 dumbass

>>94069677
>5 years ago was sooooo much times ago
So you are 10. That explains a lot about the board.

I enjoyed it more than most of the movies I've seen this summer. Not as much as The Fifth Element, but I still enjoyed it. Oh well.

they spent so much money on marketing... i see ads non-stop on twitter for that crap. I knew it was going to flop hard the moment i saw the trailer. generic uninteresting cgi sci-fi who an unknown male lead and hot girl who can't act

I'm glad I waited for reviews now. Trailers looked cool but the whole thing felt like another Avatar or Jupiter Ascending scam where the entire movie sucks shit and the only cool moments just happened to fill out the length of the trailer.

>>94069400
What are you doing, Anon?

>>94069856
To be fair, Dehaan can act pretty well, but this is just far and away not the kind of film he can do well in. Delevigne, on the other hand, I just don't think is much of an actress.

>Leon and Fifth Element are some of my favorite movies
>Even the Taxi movies are fun in a campy way
>Luc Besson is a certified fucking hack now
Getting old sucks.

>>94067239
In the future no bitch knows how to wax her brows or dye them.

>>94069897
>Trailers looked cool
They looked more like a scam than anything.
>Desperately trying to sell euro sci-fi to an American audience

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>>94067637
>Fifth Element is garbage

>>94067459
>I can not believe, that something can be worse written
Apparently you didn't watch the sequel then

>>94069559
>You know my parents banned me from seeing this
Fun story,

When I was your age my mother didn't want me to see the first Toy Story movie for some reason.

Not sure why. She stopped caring

>implying that you're under 10 years old.png

>>94070503
>implying the Euro audience likes it any better
My local cinemas are showing it twice per day, which is atrocious for a new big-budget movie.

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>>94067239
Thanks for the warning! I was planning to see it (for graphics) when it premieres here, despite the plot looking like hot garbage.

>>94067835
LIQUID

>>94070514
LEELOO DALLAS MULTIPASS
ARE YOU SUPER GREEN
CHEEKEN
I'll never understand the appeal of that movie.

>>94070521
Was the action at least good

The whole movie was just a gigantic dick waving contest between the designers.
There are entire scenes that contributed absolutely NOTHING to the plot like the whole capture sequence with the strip dancer that only looked pretty.
Also, the two main characters are some of the biggest Razzie contenders I've ever seen.

ITT: everyone has shit taste
It was a good movie, and y'all're just sour.

The movie felt more like five really run mini issues, with a meh story to tie it all together.

It does an incredible job at making a detail rich alien mixing pot, but not so good job at making you care about anyone in particular.

Also, I don't really care about all the plotholes and inconsistencies or random one time use plot solving devices as much, because it was obvious this movie is more for the spectacle than a cerebral story.

>>94067338
Evan Almighty and 10000 BC.

>>94067239

The trailer had zero substance. That bad, huh? That makes me sad.

>>94067347
>they are brother and sister,
>right?

They weren't even born in the same millennium, I think.

>>94069197
>Besides, those euro comics were strip-mined decades ago, and any good ideas that were stolen from them have had decades to be improved upon elsewhere. Why even bother with the originals anymore when they're going to be so primitive and boring?
Yeah, let's forget Shakespeare! It's old and overdone.

>>94070782
What possessed you to go see them in the first place?

>>94067526

Movie treatment of a French fantasy/science fiction comic. It's kind of legendary, I guess. Called 'Valerian' in French, and in my beloved mother tongue 'Ravian' for some unfathomable reason.

>>94070703
See>>94068649

>>94070390
I don't know how old you are but I remember people absolutely hating the 5th Element when it came out, only around 10 years ago it became as loved as it is, so take critics and word of mouth with a grain of salt when it comes to this

>>94067239
I just watch to see the girl.

Shes got nice boobs.

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>>94067239
Why do studios cast Caravan Develigne

She said awful, she's not even pretty

>>94067239
It's a fucking shitty video game movie

I was expecting Halo guy and Mass Effect girl to show up in the background or something...

>>94070574
Found the RLM fanboy

Gary Oldman is the GOAT in that movie even if he loses cartoonishly

>>94067461
>That much money, wasted
Who's the studio that spent all that cash?

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>>94070834
>Cara Develigne
>boobs

>>94070859
Is that Eric Wareheim?

>>94070824
>implying critics are always reliable

>>94068028

>That cover blurb

Talk about a kiss of death.

>>94068243

Yes.

>>94070807
>Yeah, let's forget Shakespeare! It's old and overdone.

Yes. Yes, it is.

That whole Shakespeare shit needs to fucking stop. The guy wrote plays to keep people in from the rain and himself in bread and beer. Shakespeare - ha ha - isn't exactly Shakespeare.

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>>94067338
The first and only movie I've ever walked out is Rogue One. Fuck that boring piece of shit with 0 characters and pathetic last-minute jokes from characters whose mouths aren't visible.

>>94068316
Oh fuck off nothing you said is even relevent to some fucking bandwagoner saying he was going to walk out because of a barely 5 minute scene. By the time he was even thinking "man this scene is kinda cringe" the scene was over and forgotten, until the watercooler the next day at best

>>94070941
It's not exactly a hit with audiences either.

>>94070834
You could go to literally any porn site and get better for free. You're almost as bad as the idiots on /vg/ who pay $15/mo for a WpW sub just to RP in Goldshire when you could do the same fucking thing over a chatroom.

>>94067276
Jupiter ascending was funny though. it wasn't trying to be but managed it.

>>94071099
I laughed out loud in the theater when they did the whole "alien nanomachines will fix this city destroying battle in an hour and everyone will forget" bit. That and the rocket skates were hilarious.

>>94070786
>They weren't even born in the same millennium, I think.
So you're saying there's a chance?

>>94068597
Oh yes
And he also uses the wonderful "people thought Galileo was crazy and he was right, so maybe I'm right too!" When asked for evidence from someone in the crowd

I just sat there and couldn't help feeling like this was 90% of the European pop-artistic types I meet

>>94071391

Ha! Good point. No, I meant Laureline was born in the literal Dark Ages and Valerian in the... well, the near future, I think...? From our point of view. He met her on a job involving time travel. His first adventure, I am guessing, capturing a rogue peacekeeping agent who was posing as a wizard.

I don't understand how you make something like fifth element, which has flaws but a lot of charm, to this BLOATED LONG MESS OF A FILM WITH NO CHARMING ACTORS EXCEPT FUCKING RHIANNA FOR TWO MINS

>>94071701
>Bruce Willis
>Milla Jovovich
>Gary Oldman
>Ian Holmes
>Chris Tucker
vs
>Dane Dehaan
>Cara Delevigne
>Rihanna

yeah I can see why

>>94069278
>Cara and her eyebrows are delicious
the fucking pig nose, though

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>>94070412

Fuck off back to /tv/ or where ever this kind of bad taste is tolerated.

>>94067239
That sucks.

I guess that is why we are seeing smarter sci-fi movies like Arrival and Interstellar, because there are directors out there that want to save the genre from becoming CG-stuffed mindless garbage

>>94071898
>Smarter movies
>Interstellar and Arrival

>>94071898
>Interstellar
>not mindless garbage

topkek

>>94067338
Sounds like someone has never seen Star Trek: The Motion Picture

>>94072054

So, elite anon, what would you call a 'smart' movie in this genre?

>>94072266

Hey, fuck off. That was good enough to sit through.

>>94072308

>>94072266

>>94068153
Gamer is a masterpiece, if it was a book it'd be required reading in schools.

>>94072054
>implying
Interstellar is objectively more accurate and plausible than Arrival. The weirdest parts of Interstellar are still just in the "highly unlikely" territory; Arrival's key plot points are quite literally impossible. It's a good movie, but it's pure space magic from start to finish.

>>94070631
He's full of shit. GI Joe 2 had no cartoon mech suits, a more ninja-heavy plot, a proper Cobra Commander, and Bruce Willis and The Rock even when phoning it in are charismatic. Shit was perfectly solid compared to the absolute trash fire the first one was.

>>94068846
>Danny Glover

lol kill yourself

>>94067338
I walked out of Speed Racer. It was like Lazytown: The Movie.

That's funny anon, because The Fifth Element is the first movie I ever walked out on.

And we snuck into Austin Powers instead. 10/10 Based Decision, would do again.

I just saw this today. The movie is okay. Just okay, which is pretty damning praise for what it was trying to be. Maybe foreign markets will like it, they tend to have lower standards for movies.

My hope is that it does well enough for porn of Laureline, the pearl aliens, and the blue shapeshifter alien named Bubbles. The movie teased lewdness but didn't deliver.

It's weird because 5th Element is great but somehow the director lost something over the course two decades and wasn't able to pull it off again.

>>94072618
>somehow the director lost something over the course of two decades

LOL sarcasm? Directors get worse as they age, not better.

>>94068649
>Score is rotten
>Consensus text pretty much says it's still a good time and worth watching.
Odd. Don't remember it ever happening before.

>>94067338
I walked out of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.

Not because it was bad, but because i went to see it as a date movie. It aint no date movie.

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>>94072412
>still no beachhead

Didn't your friends think it was a bit odd you just left by yourself like that?

OH WAIT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>94072738
Savage

>>94071655
But, I mean, if he could time travel, then so could their mother or father.

>>94072738
Unironically this. If you're a miserable lonely pissant that has the same negative opinion on everything like a male Daria then why bother going in the first place? Just to post here that you walked out?

>>94072681
It's rating was at a 70% when they wrote it, but more critics reviewed it after that, knocking down the score.

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>>94068995

>>94067239
Besson is a hack.

>>94073017
Don't think you understood the joke.

>>94068995
>went to watch this one with ex gf and her little sister a month after the shooting
>teather half empty, watch movie, have a good time
>two kids enter the teather and stand there watching it, glance at them and conclude they're harmless faggots
>ex gf's sister remembers the shooting gets nervous and walks out, ex gf goes with her
>i guess they just went to the bathroom
>30 minutes pass get text: "Are you going to wait 'til its over?"
>walk out 2/3s in, weirdfags were still standing there but just watching the movie
>miss the rest of a perfectly fun movie

>>94071190
And the best part was they can wipe everyone's minds but they'll miss that they took a fucking picture of the destruction happening.

>>94067276
Was Jupiter Ascending the movie with slavshit bydlos?
If it is, then I have no idea why that is the only thing I remember about it.

>>94072690
>he doesn't go see dark serious spy thrillers on a date
what's it like, dating a pleb

>>94067338
I got close to walking out of Bayformers 2. That movie is aggressively awful.

>>94067338
I walked out on Rob Zombie's Halloween. How I ended up there in the first place, I have no idea. My love for the franchise was stronger than my rational thinking I guess.

>>94072618
>The movie teased lewdness but didn't deliver.
Did you miss the latex nurse pole dance?

>>94067239
>The Cosmic Adventures of Douchebag and Crack-Whore
I don't think they could have a found a more unlikable pair of leads if they had tried. They look like they're strung out on space-meth.

>>94068995
>not I walked out of this because of a police escort

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>>94067338
Battle of the Five Alfrids really tested me. The other two Hobbits had problems, but also lots of neat stuff compensating. The last one was almost a complete shitfest that kept getting worse and worse

>Smaug killed in five minutes after the last movie's build up
>Legolas and Whatsherface still too prominent
>Movie stops every 10 seconds to have an Alfrid joke
>Battles are too cartoony, even by LotR standards, Legolas might aswell have been Neo
>Thorin's descend to madness is too comically exaggerated
>The armies are too obviously CG
>Fucking Dain was a completely CG man
>Nonsensical stuff like giant worms eating tunnels that somehow the orc army was traversing at the same time
>Gimmick sudden ice area for the final battle
>Thorin, Fili and Kili don't even get a fucking funeral (i think it was in the extended cut?)
And shit, i didn't even get to the worst part
>The whole fucking stupid Sauron section with characters like Elrond and Saruman having a damn Power Rangers fight against the Nazgul, that now for some reason have electric disturbances effects
>Galadriel saves the day turning in her "green angry goddess" version as if that's actually some kind of power of hers

Not trying to derail the thread but goddamn that movie pisses me off. Everything that could go wrong went wrong, it traumatized me so much i completely ignored the trilogy since, didn't even check the extended cut or fan edits I've read of. Which is a shame because, again, there was a lot of cool stuff in the other two Hobbits. I didn't walk out the theater but i kept an heavily grumpy expression, the people with me noticed it too

>>94069559
You missed seeing the plane scene when it was new and fresh. That was a once-in-a-generation meme event and you missed it. You'll never be able to understand the magic you missed out on

>>94073933
>Galadriel saves the day turning in her "green angry goddess" version as if that's actually some kind of power of hers

Uses one of the three rings, didn't you know?

>>94067480
>>94070983
can you be any angrier please? I don't think your point made it through

>>94067562
Sounds retarded. Those will get in the way of explosions. It'll never catch on.

>>94072826
to get autists riled up over a bad film get addressed as bad, and seeing them pretend to enjoy their anger afterwards.

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>>94074216
Actually they made her hold up the light bottle she later gives Frodo, didn't imply any ring usage.

But anyway, that's not what i meant, i know she's incredibly powerful, in the books she basically demolished the entire fortress swinging around her arms a bit, what i mean is pic related, they turned her green and scary for the sake of visually referencing LotR, as if that's a weird ability of hers she uses from time to time

>>94067239
So confirm, is she a time-displaced Gaulish peasant from the 10th Century, or have they got rid of the time-travel plot?

>>94070895
Europa Corp, Besson's studio. However, He's already made up most of the budget from tax credits and foreign pre-sells. That means he's not likely to go bankrupt if it tanks (which it is in the US already).

Why was Jessica Rabbit in this movie?

Also, those three toydarians seem straight out of a '90s kids movie.

>>94074585
They don't talk about her past at all, and she's completely comfortable with future stuff, so if she's from the past, she came to the future a while ago.

>>94067480
basically this, except i didnt get mad about the scene. i just thought "yeah this is going to be pretty dumb later on". also did hulk just not give a fuck about betty anymore?

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>Dane DeHaan bragging about being, among other things, handsome
Was that just his ego talking, or is he really supposed to be the stereotypical egotistic sexy guy? Because he does not look attractive at all.

>>94070954
I swear if I didn't hear about the Vader scene at the end(which is the only good scene in the film) I would have walked out too.

>>94067338

I have a policy of sticking it out with movies, the only time I walked out was because I was very tired and the movie was really boring, so I felt asleep. I suddenly woke up and realized I had lost the thread of things and that I was still tired so fuck it, I walked out and went home to have a proper sleep.

>>94067239
Way to go mods, fuck all of you.

>>94074757
the Vader scene is cool completely in a vacuum, but when placed in the context of the larger film, it's complete ass.

>>94067476
>Walking out of an Anvengers movie for interactions between just two of the characters is a bit much considering how much is going on in each of those movies.
It wasn't just that one scene though. The Whedonistic banter of the introductory fight scene was an immlediate turn off, among other things. Up until the time I watched Age of Ultron, I had been following /co/ threads discussing the movie, and began to realize the complete 180 tone shift between the initial trailers and the full film.

The Bruce/Natasha pair was just the final straw for me. It made me realize that there is almost zero continuity between MCU films. The time period that skips between movie releases is a sort of portal to a completely different universe where script writers are able to change anything they want for the sake of plot convenience. The establishment of romantic couples? Meaningless. The dissolution of SHIELD thanks to Hydra? Might as well have never happened at all. "Connected cinematic universe" my ass.

>>94072738
Holy fuck, how will OP ever recover

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>>94072806

...Daaaaaaamn, dude.

>>94073622

I regret never having done the same. I am just glad I was smart enough not to be fooled a fifth time.

>>94074567

...Forgivable. I mean, that's basically her super-Saiyan mode, isn't it? Was it meant to show what she would become? As opposed to just showing what she is like when she stops holding back her full power.

Nice how they show what would happen in 'Thor: Ragnarok'.

>>94074654
>those three toydarians seem straight out of a '90s kids movie.

They're from 1975.

>>94070564
The effects aren't as good as people are making them out to be. They're not bad but they're nothing special if you've seen already seen things like Guardians, Star Wars, and NuStar Trek. It all looks like a high end PS4 CG cutscene. It becomes very apparent you're watching a CG cartoon.

>>94067636
>Not looking young enough they just give you student pricing without even asking for student ID

>>94070703
>t. Someone who likes Bayformers

>>94070834
I considered staying for Cara but at some point her monotone shit-tier acting just grated on me.

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>>94074747
Valerian is handsome in the classic square-jawed space hero fashion. Dane was a really, really poor choice.

>>94070574
Your simply weighed down with too much ennui.

>>94072412
The movie ends with the Rock pulling a gun out at his White House celebration party and shooting it up in the air.

It's trash.

>>94074855
She's a fucking elf goddess, she's supposed to be graceful and beautiful, there's no "super saiyan mode" and if there was it wouldn't look like this. In LotR the scene was supposed to be scary because it was her actively fighting the ring's influence, there's no reason why she should appear the same in different contexts. But obviously ny problem is also with the bigger picture, it wasn't even the only scene forcing a visual reference, it happened already in Desolation of Smaug when Tauriel appears all white and dreamy to Fili while he's poisoned, because that's what happened with Frodo and Arwen. The idea itself that a normal orc would carry nazgul blades is absurd in the first place

All these scenes do is undermine the originals by making it look like they're normal occurrences for the people involved

>>94067239
Is this based off a comic or cartoon?

>>94075174
Google fucker, or just read the thread before posting

>>94075174
Comic. There was a cartoon a while back, but it's pretty loosely adapted.

>Cara Delesomething
The only expression she can do makes my peepee hard.

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>>94067239

>>94067239

>tfw you've been a Dane Dehaan fan since Chronicle
>every other Hollywood role he's been in since then is shit, and his indie roles have been a mixed bag

Please for the love of god let Tulip Fever be good.

>>94073716
A fully clothed pole dance does nothing for me in this digital porn age.

A pole dance in her natural blue jelly form, that would be worth the price of admission.

>>94075155
>goddess

Not really, she's just one of the oldest and the most direct living, active relative of Finwe's line. She is very powerful and seems even more so because most other elves her power level and age are dead or in Valinor so there's not much to compare her to.
She did have a brutal, power-hungry part of her that she tried resisting over the years, but I'd think by the time Hobbit takes place she wouldn't be actively using her ring for anything but keeping Lothlorien not shitty.

It's a shame they fucked up the Hobbit movies so bad. It's clear nobody's heart was really into making it.

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>>94067347
>unironically liking incest
Wtf is wrong with you?

>>94075749
>not liking incest
Get a load of this redditor.

>>94067239
Is it weird that this movie is making me think about this?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2cDoHH37FMk

>>94067239
Apparently it got a 4/4 on the Roger Ebert scale. Anyone know why that is?

>>94075912
Delicious thicc eyebrows.

>>94072738
I guess this would hurt me if I was still a teenager.

>>94075912
Because they're dead so who's going to contest it? They hated The Guyver so I don't put stock in all reviewers.

>>94073933
I remember sitting in that movie just being braindead because all I saw was actors run around with bad green screen behind them.

>>94074030
>That was a once-in-a-generation meme event and you missed it

I thought that was les baines?

>>94067338
I saw most films released between 2000-2010 at the cinema. The only ones I walked out of were Sideways and The Devil's Rejects

>>94073520
Yeah. The entire earth subplot was retarded. If the movie was 100% about feuding nobles in space it would have actually been better.

>>94072690
You'd have to have a recognised mental handicap to think it was beforehand though

>>94074799
Valerian is /co/ faggot

>>94069677
You'd still have to be underage to have been banned from it unless you're such a faggot you'd get banned as a teenager and not just go anyway.

>>94067338
I've never in my life walked out of a movie. No matter how bad something is, I will sit through it to get my money's worth. I value money more than my time. Fuck, I'm able to sit through Mr. Pickles every night and even enjoy it once in awhile. My tolerance for utter shit is incredibly high.

The only movie I can even imagine me getting close to wanting to walk out of is the Jackass movies. But only because that doesn't even have the decency of pretending it's a movie but just a compilation of dumb shit.

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>>94076442
>The only ones I walked out of were Sideways

We've got a merlot fan here.

>>94067402
#TRIGGERED

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>>94068153
>>94072375
Can't require kids to read books with predominantly white male protagonists anymore. Shakespeare is pretty much only taught at private schools these days. Public schools get garbage like pic related.

t. A middle school librarian.

>>94070574
CORBAN! I AIN'T GOT NO FIRE, CORBAN!

>>94076700
there is pretty much zero reason for Shakespeare plays to exclusively cast white people

>>94076700
Go back to your containment board

>>94076748
dont you have a vegan milkshake to drink?

>>94067239
If John Carter is one of my favorite movies of all time will i enjoy this?

>>94076700

My public school only really assigned Shakespeare, Steinbeck, and other white male authors' stuff. Nobody complained. One teacher tried out a book she thought would add variety, something by a female Japanese author, and half my class refused to even pretend to pay attention or they just kept saying how boring it was so she had to bring in Kafka.

>>94067338
Mrs browns boys da movie
My mate loves the show and it was his birthday but I walked out after a minute and watched planet of the apes instead

>>94076951
They would've done that for what ever was being read no matter how cool. Kids are brainwashed to hate school.

I remember when i was 12 I was forced to read Watership Down as a summer reading project and hated it. I moved schools and my summer reading project changed so I stopped halfway through. Then one day in highschool I looked back and wondered how the book ended so checked it out and found one of my favorite books.

The idea of public school lit classes is a joke. Most people don't want to be there and thus don't care to participate. Making the class suck.

>>94072266
Not only is that not a bad movie, that's not even close to the worst Star Trek Movie.

>>94077162
>Brainwashed
not really most people just don't have any academic pursuits and being forced though it only makes them detest it. we really need a different schooling system.

>>94067338

I almost walked out of Star Wars: Clone Wars when Ziro the Hutt showed up, but stayed just to see how much shittier it could get.

And I fell asleep towards the climaxes of Transformers 2 and the Hobbit.

I did walk out of a free showing of Street Fighter Alpha: The Animation.

>>94077162

They thought Kafka was boring, of course, but it was a familiar kind of boring.
My class literally refused to discuss or read the book the teacher tried. Apparently she came up with a curriculum plan for it and everything. Felt kind of bad for her. Ended up getting a used copy myself years later. It wasn't great, but it was a very comfy book.

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>>94067239
I used to have a crush on Cara until I found my testicles but I really think people need to stop casting her

>>94076736
>CORBAN! I AIN'T GOT NO FIRE, CORBAN!

It's "I have no fire".

Also, "Aziz! Light!"

>>94067515
>whilst
You need to go back.

>>94077779
what was the book?

>>94068028
>tfw cinebook used to be regulars at my city's local comic book convention, with sweet deals if you bought in bulk, but I have no idea if they're coming this year

>>94074882
I actually do look like I'm 15. They still asked for student ID even when I was in school. Obviously no one is too keen on handing out discounts based on an assumption.

>>94067338
I walked out of the newest Pirates of the Caribbean because it was pure shit.

>>94078259
>my city's local comic-con is SDCC
>can't/don't want to go because there's too many fucking people

I've never walked out on a movie. There have been some movies (Battlefield Earth) where I was the only person at the theater by the end of the movie because everyone else left.

>>94077893
Shut up brainlet

>>94068711

The visuals were really pretty, so they gave it a "meh" instead of a "nope."

>>94075749
Individually your words make sense but together in that order I just don't understand what you are trying to say.

>>94067276
JA was a fistful of red pills negro.

>>94078990

How so?

>>94078672

Hahaha, did that make you feel proud or embarassed?

>>94072266
I liked the first JJ film

>>94068559
Spiderman isn't a good movie. It's a safe movie.

>>94068846
Ah yes. One-note actors with zero range.

>>94070574
>Not appreciating the amazing Gary Oldman scenes.
Really why I watch the movie at all, honestly.

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>>94079544

He was talking about movie stars, not actors.

There's a difference.

>>94070834
>Shes got nice boobs.
That's armor anon, there's NOTHING underneath.

Watched her on one of the talk shows lastnight, thought she was a he in drag, and worse of she was wearing a "top" designed specifically to draw attention to here "breasts", a seethrough strap bra with star pasties.

Man you Americans are retarded and disrespectful.

last movie I walked out of was Wonder Woman and I was watching a pirated stream and I still felt ripped off

>>94067402

yeah cant believe Joss said women are monsters if they can't have children, tired of all this neoreactionary alt-right propaganda in movies

>>94079276

A little of both.

>>94067835
I confess, this made me loosen up, down there.
>ywn get plowed by your hot brother millions of miles from another person. Screaming so loud you tear your vocal chords.
Why even live?

>>94072454
That was a visual mess.
I swear some of the scenes look like the backgrounds were ripped from a mid 90s edutainment CD-ROM

>>94067459
Sinking Ice

>>94068846
Are you Tim Heidecker? You're mad that a BIG HOLLYWOOD STAR isn't in A movie? lol

>>94067551
>we're never getting another shot.

Do it animated. Which is what they should have done in the first place.

And not CGI, in 2D.

Saw it. It was Beautiful and had two really great fun parts. The film was a bit overwhelming. Many times felt like a slog. Yet I feel like I will like this more than Spider-Man Homecomeing.

>>94067429
>>94075174
>>94074799

How the fuck can you niggers be so uncultured that you haven't heard of Valerian

That's like within top ten most famous French comics

>>94078063

Kitchen.

>>94082058
This is /co/, dude. Those people you quoted don't read comics, they just watch movies and spout memes.

>>94082058
Americans.

>>94082058

Official Euro comic translations aren't easily available in America, and those that are printed aren't generally available many places. I never even thought about checking out Euro comics until I saw scanlations on /co/.

>>94073933
I can't imagine how miserable it is to sit through sober, but when I saw it with a ragtag group of college buddies, we got high off our asses on the ride over. We were all laughing so hard throughout the whole thing because there are so many moments and scenes that are ridiculous beyond comprehension. I HIGHLY recommend a viewing with friends after a few tokes.

Regardless, the whole theater was laughing at the one CGI scene where Legolas is hopping from stone to stone in mid-air.

>>94068559

Watched homecoming today senpai.

I liked it

>>94070807
>being sarcastic
>not realizing the vast majority of his output is broadly forgotten because it's so boring

Also
>implying that the main reason that Shakespeare is so prevalent in liturature and art education isn't because it's so fucking old that nobody is genuinely threatened by the material anymore, even if it should actually be controversial

also
>implying the obsession with Shakespeare isn't hurting exposure to more contemporary playwrites in history who should be more widely read and can be far more relevant to people

>>94067637
I'll thank you to relieve my planet of your filthy presence.

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>>94067239

I quite enjoyed it

>>94070574
>I'll never understand the appeal of that movie.

It's essentially a live-action homage to Heavy Metal Magazine, you mong. It's brilliant, crowded, colorful, and crazy as a Moebius story. Hell, one of the main characters is named after Richard *Corben*, a frequent HMM contributor. It's fucking mad as a fish in a hedge.

>>94068706
>hot girls make a movie good

You should work in Hollywood

>>94067239
I think we can all agree Bubble (Rihanna) was the best part of the movie.

>>94070942
>That whole Shakespeare shit needs to fucking stop.

I am completely gobsmacked at this. The idea that anything remotely sapient could express such a sentiment is both horrifying and repellent.

>I walked out

And they still got your money. You achieved nothing but freeing up an hour or so of your own time.

>>94083276
It's an hour he probably spent more productively by having fun, perhaps having sex or going out to drink a beer for 10 dollars.
After all, he only spent 5 dollars for it.
Others might accidentally spend 20 or more to watch something to the end that they hate and become frustrated for having sit through it.

>>94083276
So he should just sit there watching a movie he's not enjoying?

So how is it connected to The Fifth Element?

>>94083961
>connected to The Fifth Element?
Same director, as far as I know.

>>94083063
Such a shitty fucking death that I thought it was her hamming it up because "acting" and all that. But nope we wuz kangz, I'm dust now

>>94083357

He's blogposting on 4chan about walking out on a movie theater. It's highly doubtful that having sex or drinking beer are in his prospects.

>>94067239
Is it really? I was trying to look past the trailers and thought it might actually be good space scifi slock.

>>94083961
Same French director

Fifth Element was inspired by a bunch of French and other Euro comics

This is based on one of those comics, its artist did concept art for Fifth Element.

>>94072266
TMP is a little slow but it's my second favorite Trek movie

>>94072681
sometimes that happens if the reception for a film is divided rather than mixed

>>94076442
Devil's Rejects is the only movie I've ever wanted to walk out of but the people I was with didn't want to

>>94075136
>The movie ends with the Rock pulling a gun out at his White House celebration party and shooting it up in the air.

is that supposed to dissuade me

>>94085485
It shouldn't. The gun in question wasn't pulled out by the Rock. It was handed to him at the celebration by Bruce Willis, stating that it was General Patton's sidearm. How the fuck can you hold on to a gun that once belonged to a man bristling with MURRICA and not fire off a few rounds?

>>94067239
The blue transformer was the only good and interesting character. It was stupid to kill her off, she was perfect.

>>94085137
Just for this post I'm gonna call my girl and have her bring a case of beer over.

>>94085645
I'm sure the dozens of Secret Service around you is a very good deterrent.

>>94069321
Fuck me, Dredd was so good. Why oh why did it not succeed spectacularly. Everyone I know that has seen out loves it, yet not enough people saw it to warrant a sequel.

>>94086159
>expecting realism in a movie based on action figures

>>94086159
The same secret service that couldn't stop Zartan from replacing the president?

>>94071090
>You're almost as bad as the idiots on /vg/ who pay $15/mo for a WpW sub just to RP in Goldshire when you could do the same fucking thing over a chatroom.
You can RP in Goldshire for free. Just don't level up your character past 20. Simple.

>>94070574
You sound like a thrilling human being to be caught in a corner at a party with.

>>94067338
Not /co/ related, but my wife and I walked out of Oliver Stone's 'W.', because it was boring as fuck.

>>94067239
Was it that bad

>>94067239
It was decent. Better than sitting through Baby Driver and watching Jamie Fox and Keyzer Soze compete to chew the most scenery. At this point I'm starting to wonder if this film has paid antishills.

My only real problem with the film is that Dane was completely unattracted to Cara. It was strange as fuck to see him light up while Rihanna was around and then turn into a turnip and mumble out "Laureline I love you." in the next scene.

>>94067454
$7.50 before 4pm here.

>>94075749
Played too much CK2

>>94076748
Yeah, there's no problem with that in a play where all that matters is an actor's ability. A visual adaption is just retarded though.

>>94083276
Do you continue eating something you bought that you think is disgusting just because you paid money for it?

>>94067338
BvS

It's the fifth element guy, not really surprising it sucked

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>>94067858

>>94092109
Depends on how disgusting. A hot dog with no mayo is kind of gross, but I wont stop eating it just because of that.

>>94093742
"disgusting" is a pretty strong word, not a lot of room for interpretation there.

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I can watch it free since I'm a manager at my local theater
Should I give it a shot? Or should I watch Spider-Man: Homecoming instead?
or Girls Trip

>>94094368
Watch them all.
Jesus fuck, if you're a manager at the theater and you're not watching every movie that even slightly piques your interest, you're wasting my fucking time.

>>94094368
The fuck is wrong with you? Why else would anyone work in a movie theater of all places?

You know, other than the whole food and shelter thing...

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>>94067338
It pains me to know that this could actually happen to me.

Close a tab, okay
Change the channel, sure.
Take out the burned dvd some friend lend you of your drive, why not.

But to go out of the jewplex after paying gorillion shekels worth in oversalty popcorn, beverage and a ticket. That movie must be BAD.

>>94070954
Edgy

>>94094478
I don't have to waste money on movies anymore
Also I wanted a break from food service

>>94067239
they look like siblings

>>94094581
Why would you have to pay for them I used to work at a movie theater and just watch them for free.

>>94094656
That's what I'm saying
All I wanted was free movies and somehow I got roped into being a manager

>>94067338
Burton's Alice in Wonderland