How come Cap can't get a wife and child?

Sharon and Ian.

mediocre genitalia

he's gayer than springtime, hoss

>>93978553
The super soldier roids shrunk his junk

>>93978605
Ian was adopted

steroids shink the nads

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>>93978647
Cap may not be Ian's father but he's still his daddy.

>>93978553

He needs a Black manta treatment.

He lacks a love interest popular enough to justify him becoming American Dad.
Superman has Lois.

>>93978553
Because steroids let him impotent.

WINNERS DON'T USE DRUGS.

>>93978553
He was Sharon's fiancee last time I checked, and they both adopted Ian Rogers and in an alt universe had a daughter named Ellie Rogers.

>>93978553
Sharon was pregnant with one of his kids but Red Skull's daughter made her miscarry.

>>93978678
He raised him and gave him his grandpa's name so yeah, pretty much.

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>>93978553
Unironically, I always wanted to crackship with America.

>>93978647
His and Black Widow's son from the future James is dicking around 616 with the rest of the Next Avengers somewhere

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>>93978796

>>93978553

He likes meat too much

This leads to an interesting question. If you were Literally Captain America, and say you were around 35, would it be okay for you to date a 20 year old to avoid the chance of your son having autism

>>93979105

20 years old is well within the consenting adult strike zone.

>>93978796
America needs Steve as a surrogate parent.

>Rise and shine, Chavez, you've got class in two hours.
>What the hell, Steve? I'm a grown-ass woman, quit acting like you're my dad.
>I'll stop acting like your dad when you start paying rent. Also some girl with a name I can't pronounce called, she said "synchronized kinetic expression to denormalize Anglo-Aryan power structures practice" is cancelled. I've got to go catch a flight to the UK, Baron Blood is trying to create a vampire Knights of the Round Table, and won't be back until late. Dinner is in the fridge.

He probably has a micro dick from all the chemicals pushed into him.

>>93978553
Marvel hates families and kids.

>>93978553

(a) he'd prefer a husband
(b) mpreg is only a thing in crap shit fan fic (e.g. Marvel Now/All New All Different tier)
(c) he and Bucky have too busy and hectic a lifestyle to provide the proper care that even an adopted child would need

>>93978614
>>93978643
>>93978669
>>93978722
>>93979243

Size has nothing to do with fertility anons. All of you, even in spite of your teeny peens will be able to father a shit ton of idiots and further debase the gene pool with your brain-dead cellularity

>>93979320
It's not the fact that he wouldn't be able to impregnate someone, it's the fact that no one would sleep with him after seeing his microscopic wang.

>>93979320
>(a) he'd prefer a husband
So far he has not shown any indication of preferring men no matter how much your fujoshit ass wants it.

>(b) mpreg is only a thing in crap shit fan fic (e.g. Marvel Now/All New All Different tier)
True but he can adopt and he did that with Ian

>(c) he and Bucky have too busy and hectic a lifestyle to provide the proper care that even an adopted child would need
Oh a Buckyfag, ewwww.

Not to mention Steve sees Bucky as a little brother (even a son sometimes) in the comics, just because your delusional mind saw Winter Soldier and saw Steve care for a Bucky who had zero personality because he was clinging to the friend he cared about years ago it doesn't mean he wants to fuck him.

>>93979320
I said nothing about size, I said about steroids.

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>>93979221
Steve Rogers and his Latina Lesbian daughter.

He shaped up Clint and Pietro so he can take her.

>>93978553
hes alredy married,to freedom

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>>93979514

>>93978553
Same reason they won't let Spidey and MJ be happy: "It ages the character."

>>93978553
The Super-serum made him sterile.

>>93979221
Steve training America Chavez is possibly the only comic I'd want to read starring America Chavez.

Also he'd teach her how to speak Spanish proberly.

>>93978796
>Unironically, I always wanted to crackship with America.
First reaction: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHGGGGGG (horrible vomiting ewryware)
Second reaction: Interdasting...

>>93978553
That's an interesting version of his shield. I always kind of thought he'd benefit more from a riot shield type shape though. You know, because people can still shoot him in the legs with the round shield. Something between a scutum and a riot shield painted in red white and blue. Sure he couldn't throw it, but he doesn't really need to honestly. He could just carry a pistol and slam people with his huge shield at close range.

>>93979621
Cap is like late 90s though. His character is always "aged".

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Gaynazi

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Practically made for each other.

>>93980807
He can shoot the tip and can separate both halves to duel wield.

Hydra Cap is the riot.

>>93979221
I would read the hell out that book, Anon.

America back talks him in Spanish and he replies back, "I heard that!"

>>93978553
Marvel is allergic to making their characters appeal to older demos. Probably due to its writers not being able to live vicariously through their characters as much.

>>93978553
Retrograde ejaculation

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>>93979221
10/10 would read

>>93980715

It's called adoption, anon. Look it up.

>>93980928
Damn, that butt detail.

>>93981631
>America back talks him in Spanish and he replies back, "¡Escuché eso!"


FTFY

>>93978553
He had a wife and child. It turned out they were robots working for SHIELD and he was in the wrong dimension.

>>93978605
He had a girlfriend and a clone-son, but it turned out they were murderers or... I forget.

One time he was a werewolf! That's got to put women off.

>>93979438
>it doesn't mean he wants to fuck him

You're right. Everybody knows Cap is the bottom.

Whatever happened to his 80s main squeeze, Bernie Rosenthal?

Knowing comics, probably something horrible, I probably shouldn't ask

So does Cap have a similar situation to Samurai Jack? 70+ years of stored up semen?

>>93979301
this

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>>93985316
She moved to... I want to say Chicago to pursue her law career. Things just didn't work out for them.

She pops up from time to time when Jennifer Walters and Matt Murdock are busy.

>>93985330
Foolish samurai! Jack never had any semen at all thanks to time travel. Aku wins!