Spider-man (1967) Sting of the Scorpion

Previous Fantastic Four eps
https://pastebin.com/tjREijhZ

Previous Spider-man eps
https://pastebin.com/86qedmQu

And here's the poll for deciding my future. Be sure to vote. Season ends next week with the obligatory villain teamup episode

http://www.strawpoll.me/13277716

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Welcome ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, to the Grand Gala opening of The Prison, the most fabulous, prestigious, poshest prison this side of Russia!

Enjoy 4-star dining in the luxurious linoleum-floored restaurant with meals that consist of questionable gruel, a "vegetable" dish, and some sort of bread, 3 times a day, 7 days a week!

Burn those calories and sculpt those abs in our high-end gymnasium yard! You never know who's looking to beat you up, but you also never know who's checking you out!

And finally, ease off to sleep in our comfy suites with your own barred window and a view of the freedom you could be enjoying miles away!

You might have been sent here because you're society's garbage, but to us, you're our honored guests! So come on down to The Prison, the only place where you'll say "thank you" when we shank you!

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Brand new prison and they couldn't bother to paint names or numbers on the cells. Don't know who's in where.

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Aww crap. Just started muh shift and shit's already hit the fan.

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Who was in that cell? Hope it was a gopher. Then everything's peachy.

>>93731804
All the money went to the advertising and the food for the Grend Gala opening

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This ain't a tunnel of love and it ain't carpal tunnel. It's a tunnel to a prison break!

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Durrrrrr

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Now I remember! It was the Scorpion! And he's escaping! Trigger the alarm!

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If I stand real still maybe they'll think I'm a cactus

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As if any prison could hold a scorpion. And now that I'm free it's time to get revenge on the two people I hate the most! Jameson and Spider-man! In that order!

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What am I doing delivering exposition to no one like a loser. I'm outta here.

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Parker! You have two seconds to tell me about this rogue's gallery idea of yours is and why I should start caring about art. Two. Seconds. Shoot.

So scorpion is suppose to be stronger than spider-man but spidy is always holding back, so how is scorpion a threat?

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Well Mister Jameson I thought that maybe since there's been no crime for a week I thought you'd want something interesting to spice up the paper? An article series about past villains, a recap of past and epic battles so people are acquainted with them when they break out of prison again? Sounds good, right?

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Parker. That idea is as dumb as the look on your face. If people want to read about old news they can look up a back issue and furthermore, no one needs reminding that criminals exist. They know.

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Jameson: You got all these pictures of people who hate Spider-man the most and I'm supposed to be impressed? I should be grateful you didn't include me here with all the other trash sitting on my desk. I'm clearly in a league of my own.

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And besides! The vast majority of these failures are locked away in prison. Especially THAT no-good limp-wristed mama's boy, Gargan. He's not getting out. Not for... another 10-20 years!

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Oh Mister Jameson your naivety and blind faith in the Prison–industrial complex gives me the giggles

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>*BRRRRRRRNG*

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Jameson: WHAAAAAAT? SPEAK UP. WHAAAAAAAAAT? HE CAN'T HAVE! DO SOMETHING! HE NEEDS TO GO BACK! DO SOMETHING!

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I wonder what he's so upset about? The Gardener? You mess up JJ's lawn once and he calls ICE regardless of your nationality.

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DO WHATEVER IT TAKES! CALL WASHINGTON! CALL THE NAVY SEALS! CALL THE ARMY SEALS! CALL THE AIR FORCE SEALS! DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO TAKE TO MAKE THE PROBLEM GO AWAY

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Mister Jameson? Who's out to get you this time?

>>93732310
>>93732385
Who's that on the right?

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The Scorpion escaped and he's after me! For what? Just because I paid a little for an experiment to drive himself. Why's he got to hold a grudge for a thing like that?

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I'll call Stillwell! It's all his fault I'm in this mess!

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That's what a microscope looks like under a microscope? One mystery solved. What luck! A caller! I can share this discovery!

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This phone isn't even plugged in and it's ringing. Must be one of those wireless phones.

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Jameson: STILLWELL YOU NINCOMPOOP! THE SCORPION'S LOOSE!

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That has to suck for you.

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Stillwell. This is YOUR mess. Take some responsibility for your science son.

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It's all YOUR fault. Your stupid science formula screwed up with that stupid Scorpion and I'll screw you if you try to screw with me. You brought him into this world. You take him out. Got it?

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Don't worry. Most of his strength will have worn off by now and I'll set a trap that'll take care of him if he stops by.

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IT BETTER BE A DEATH TRAP, NOT A WOMAN WITH A DICK. BYE.

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Parker, can you believe the nerve of that guy? Parker?

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...

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Hate it when he leaves before I scream at him to get out.

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JJ's losing his shit and Stillwell's going to need some help for sure. Who ever heard of a mad scientist stopping their own monstrous creation on their own. It never happens.

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So he's going to knock on the door, then I'll open it just a crack and say 'who is it?' And then he'll demand to come in and I'll say 'I can't! I'm not decent! and then he'll barge in and step right on this scorpion trap and it'll hurt like the dickens! This is why I spent 8 years and $75,000 at University. For moments like these.

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SURPRISE! A civilized person uses the door! Guess what I ain't?

>>93733211
>ill set a trap
>puts a literal bear trap
heh

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Your fatal flaw was thinking how you'd trap yourself and not how you'd trap me. Your Okizeme is weak, Doc.

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COME ON DOC, YOU GENESLAMMED ME ONCE, GENESLAM ME AGAIN. DOUBLE THE SLAM!

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I was wrong to do that before and I'm sorry, but I won't make that mistake again

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Damn right you're sorry. You'll be even more sorry once I get my hands on that formula.

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AND I''LL TEAR THROUGH THIS PLACE AND DRINK EVERYTHING UNTIL I FIND IT.

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Stop! You don't know what you're doing!

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Story of my life, Doc. Bottoms up!

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GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT POWER

always a pleasure to enjoy one of these threads

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MY GOD! IT'S LIKE PEPSI BLUE, CRYSTAL PEPSI, SPRITE REMIX, VAULT AND SQUEEZIT ROLLED INTO ONE SHOT

>>93733611
thank you

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Scorpion: And you're getting a taste of this newfound power!

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You know it's serious, Doc, cause this nigga is throwin' a chair

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Don't care what you do to the chairs but don't hurt the novelty sized beakers laying about

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Sounds like... domestic violence.

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What did I walk into?

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Spider-man quit staring and get this thing off me! He's gone! You're too late!

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First, tell me did he get the geneslam serum?

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Sure. Whatever. Ikea's crushing my spine. Let's have a chat. He drank everything! Chemicals, cleaners, koolaid, the genetic material. Everything.

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>>93733752
Domestic Violence?!

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Stillwell: Everything except the counter-acting agent. If you can get him to drink this it should nullify all the effects of whatever he's got in his system. it tastes yucky but it's good for his tum-tum.

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Doc Spider-man is always ready to take house calls!

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Looks like this stop-and-go traffic won't be going anytime soon.

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Now where is that green glow-worm...

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Haaaa! Is that the best insult you got?

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My schedule for today is jampacked with killing Jameson but I think I can squeeze annihilating you in!

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Better stand still. If this don't hit there's plenty more car left to throw

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Now you've done it!

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YOU CAUGHT ME ON A BAD DAY. BEFORE I WAS MAD. NOW YOU GOT ME REAL MAD

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I DON'T LIKE GETTING MAD AND I LIKE EVEN LESS PEOPLE WHO GET ME MAD

>>93734482
That's hella mad, bro

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WERE YOU LOOKING FOR HELL, GARGAN?

BECAUSE THAT IS WHERE YOU ARE GOING. RIGHT GODDAMN NOW. AND SPIDER-MAN WILL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER LEAVE.

IS THIS HOW YOU WANT THIS TO END, GARGAN? I WON'T HOLD BACK THIS TIME

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Sorry you guys had to see that side of me I apologize

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We'll end this fight before it begins

>>93734482
REMEBER GARGAN!? WHEN KILLED YOUR BROTHER!?

I TALKED JUST...LIKE...THISSS!!!!

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This is you not holding back? Your webs might as well be silly string now that I am ... SUPER SCORPION

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ENUCK CHUNK

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Is that what male enhancement looks like? Sign me up!

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Before I go beat up Godzilla there's a bug that needs squashing

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Notabugbuthemeansme shitshitshit

This is what's missing from modern cartoons, we definitely need more of it

Are you the second coming of RadicalVonAwesome?

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The bigger they are the harder they fall? Tonight on Mythbusters we'll put it to the test

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What did you just say?

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Tonight on Mythbusters?

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THAT SHOW GOT CANCELLED WHY WOULD YOU BRING IT UP I LOVED THAT SHOW AND NOW YOU HAD TO REMIND ME OF THE LAST SEASON WITH ALL THE CLIPSHOWS AND SPECIALS AND THE BUILD TEAM GONE

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welp

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HAAA! He's sunk to a new low! Washup! All wet! Never get hung out to dry cause he's sleepin with the fishes!

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I got a million of em!

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Don't laugh on my jokes? Fine. Your hero's dead.

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There's something alive in New York waters? This isn't the city I know.

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Got to get to Jameson before that big bully does

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Mack, for fuck's sake. Bring you hat to work. You look like a dork.

HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THAT

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LAAA DEEE DAAAAAAAAH HEEHEEHEEHEEHEE WOOOOOOOOO

>>93735556
Didn't realize Macy's made a gay pride parade balloon.

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No HQ I'm not kidding! He must be 20 feet tall! I said he was prancing through Central Park, not Dancing. I don't see why that matters

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A nice night for a rampage!

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Let's take him down!

Why are you shooting from the backseat?

Why wouldn't I in this heat?

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Your bullets mean nothing to me! Stillwell's chemicals have made me bulletproof!

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Just because I'm invincible doesn't mean getting shot isn't annoying. Cut it out.

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In the office. Hunkering down, with a 20 foot monster man after me. This is exactly how Hitler must have felt in the end

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You still have me, Mister Jameson. I can give the reports coming tracking the Scorpion so you can die informed.

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Why couldn't it have been a 20 foot tall scantily clad pinup model to end my life. At least I'd die with a boner on my terms.

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No, I'm a newsman. Damnit. I'm better than cowering.

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Miss Brant! What do the reports say?!

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Report #1 Jameson better run.
Report #2 Jameson is fucked.
Report #3 Better opt for a closed coffin or burial at sea.

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He's getting closer! I can feel it! Miss Brant! If I die tonight make sure Parker's last check bounces! Promise me that!

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HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP

This shit's surreal

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MISTER JAMESON! NOOO!

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Jameson: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP

Scorpion: Don't be a bitch, bitch

>>93736195
For real, he doesn't even have a stinger on that stupid tail. Man up.

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Police! Help! The Scorpion got Mister Jameson! What does he look like? He's Green, mean, and 20 feet tall. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT'S NOT MUCH TO GO ON?

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Alright Betty! I heard the cries for help! What did you do with Jameson?

>>93735464
https://youtu.be/dwrMBOyAqWU?t=20

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Thank God you're here! The Scorpion just kidnapped Mister Jameson. You have to help him!

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... you thought I had something to do with it? Screw you!

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Who do I save? The Scorpion or Jameson?

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You're not funny! Mister Jameson's life is in danger!

Sting of the Scorpion's one of my favorites.

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Alright Betty I'll go save Jameson. But you're not off the hook. Don't leave town.

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Scorpion: Remember Jameson, I'm the middle-aged woman. You're the chihuahua. Don't ever forget your place.

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...

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All units hold your fire. We can't allow Mister Jameson to be harmed. He's a natural treasure and irreplaceable. Where would we be in life without J. Jonah Jameson's guidance. I shudder to think about it.

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Now Now, Jameson. You behave and we'll break into a Kohl's later and give you a "Hostage Barbie" look.

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Cause if they shoot at me they'll be hitting my human shield AHAHAHA

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Please don't Mister Scorpion. I have influence! I can get away from all this! I have friends! You can have them!

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Why should I befriend anyone who likes you? Shouldn't I hate them by association?

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Next time don't open yer yap til you have something smart to say

>>93736595
I like this panel disproportionately for some reason

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All units I repeat hold your fire. Jameson is in the line of fire and I can't stand the thought of hurting that great, great man. Contain the Scorpion but do not fire.

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Jameson: LET ME DOWN! HEEEEEEELP! SOMEONE! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP

Scorpion: It's like babysitting the world's grumpiest baby.

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There's the Scorpion. I've got to annoy him enough to convince him to let go of Jameson.

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And annoying people is what I do best

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Sorry guys. Orders came in from HQ going over my head. We're to open fire. Pleasepleaseplease aim for his feet. I'm sorry, if it eases your conscience you can all blame your impending sin on me. Just because I'll hate myself for every waking day doesn't mean that you all do. Please. Forgive me.

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>BLAM BLAM BLAM

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YOU SEE THAT? JAMESON DID YOU SEE THAT? DON'T MAKE THAT FACE AT ME

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=(

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Can't you army guys see I got me a hostage? You shoot at me I'll throw him at ya!

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DON'T SHOOT! I'm too old for fastball specials!

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Jameson is too important to die. I... I can't do it. I can't kill my idol, my god. All units. Hold fire. I'll take the court martial, it's less of a disgrace than killing the best character.

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HEY! PENCILDICK! THAT'S WHAT STEROIDS DO! LOOK AT THEM SHRUNKEN TESTICLES

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You again?

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Listen carefully, little man, I'll be saying this only once

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Scorpion: You don't wanna fight me. You see this guy? He'll suffer because of you. How does that make you feel.

Spider-man: Pretty good, actually.

File: vlcsnap-2017-07-02-23h37m49s984.png (139KB, 544x386px) Image search: [Google]

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It was Spider-man who sent you to jail in the first place! Get him, not me!

>>93737459
Look at them bond over mutual dislike.

File: vlcsnap-2017-07-02-23h38m03s291.png (199KB, 544x386px) Image search: [Google]

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Hey. Where'd that pipsqueak go?

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Here I am you Jolly Green pile of Garbage! You've got the brains of a dustmite and the spine of an earthworm! I'd make you a map to find me but you'd be too dumb to read it!

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DON'T. CALL. ME. NAMES

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You've got an ugly face and your mom dresses you funny.

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I'll be over here waiting to fight a supervillain who isn't a total pushover. One cool enough to get into a Sony picture.

>>93737700
Like that'll happen.

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RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

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!!!

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OOOF

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I'M SAYING MY HAIL MARYS THERE BE A FOOTBALL PLAYER DOWN THERE READY TO MAKE A HAIL MARY AND ANOTHER FOOTBALL PLAYER TO PHOTOGRAPH THIS

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never fear! Spidey's here!

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>*boing*

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You got that web trampoline for 30 minutes, JJ, Anything longer'll cost extra!

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Spider-man! Show yourself or I'll tear this park apart

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Spider-man: Hello Sir, would you like a free sample of Stillwell's sugar free no artificial sweeteners gluten free vegan non gmo low sodium diet lemonade?

Scorpion: Alright

File: vlcsnap-2017-07-02-23h40m38s438.png (135KB, 544x386px) Image search: [Google]

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IT'S LEMON JUICE. IT'S CONCENTRATED LEMON JUICE. NOOOOOOOOOOOO

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We're running late. Can we wrap this up?

>>93738130
IT'S PEE

HE PEED IN THE BOTTLE SCORP-
>>93738163
Oh.

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Soldier! That giant man was right over there! Let's go get him!

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Get him! Shove a tank shell right up his ass! And then charge him a fee for the suppository!

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Everyone's looking. They're all going to make fun of me again.

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Awww come on don't read the note. You don't have to do this. We don't have to even talk to each other when you take me back to prison.

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"Here sits the worthless green scrub known as The Scorpion, sitting in a pile of his own misery and piss. This scrub-ass punk taken down easily by your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man."

See Mister Jameson? Violence isn't the answer. Hurting feelings is. He'll remember that for the rest of his life.

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Boss. You. Central Park. Spill. How did it go down?

>>93732310
>Sony
There go my sides

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You want to hear a daring tale of how I played mind games to pit the Scorpion and Jameson and the military against each other? Very well Miss Brant. It's story time this Saturday Night.

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A Saturday Night Storytime? Hell yeah!

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It all goes back to them opening up that new Prison on that mountaintop. You see it was a soft opening and they hadn't finished the place yet before overcrowding it with criminals...

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Oh it's one of those stories where the end is the beginning. To hell with those.

THE END

File: vlcsnap-2017-07-03-21h38m25s428.png (179KB, 544x386px) Image search: [Google]

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That was a fun ride. Have to say the last episodes of the season end strong. Be sure to vote and have a great weekend. Be back next week for the season finale. The obligatory villain teamup episode.

>>93738853
Good job anon

>quiet, polite claps

So when is someone gonna voicefag this

>>93739095
The question is how would that even work. A bunch of still images? Or like spiderdub?

>>93738909
>>93739021
And thank you

bump for OC

>>93740945

>>93732601
Bendis

>>93743637
Bendis? The writer?
Slott?

>>93732310
> Spider-Man is part of his own Rogues Gallery

I knew Silver Age writing was always self-defeating, but this is ridiculous.

>>93743907
winner

B U M P