Why did bart have to die

Where were you when Bort was kill?

No one ever wins. No one finally loses except the dead. Under the sun they rot together with absolute biological equality

He died so that we may be cleansed of sin. Have you accepted Bart as your lord and savior?

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>>93713776
i didn't do it

DED BORT

>>93713789
Fuck you and fuck Nurgle.

We all have it comin kid

AND DEATH SHALL HAVE NO DOMINION.

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AY CARAMBA

>>93713934
DID BERT

>>93713776
asking if they have bart

bort

no

>>93713725
Anyone else remember that popular shitty creepypasta called 'Dead Bart'? This thread brought back some memories.

>>93714484
I remember one summer years back when it got spammed all over /x/ and it took up like, half of the board

>>93713725
For our sins.

>>93714552
holy fuck

>>93713725
Because you didn't bring him the eggs

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>>93714581

>>93713725
There was always something uncanny about the fact they just had X eyes. I marathoned Season 1 (being accustomed to S7-10) and there were a lot of moments that were just creepy because they didn't do certain things anymore.

>>93714879
I agree. I knew there was something unusual about the original episodes. I guess the old animation made it look bizarre

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DOD BRET

totally tubular dood

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>>93713725
>tfw even 64 slices of American cheese cannot bring back The Boy.

>>93715634
b'oh

>>93713725
If only we all were that lucky

>>93713725
HYPER REALISM

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>>93713725
So we wouldn't need cows man.

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>>93715978
damn bro that's deep

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You know how the Simmons used to have quizzically bizarre methods in ordering their episodes in numerical order?
I was an intern at the 1999 San Francisco Comic Con and got to hear Matt Groening in a press conference about the show. During discussion, he strictly told the audience not to ask him about an episode called Dead Bart. After the event, I asked Matt about the episode Dead Bart. He proceeded to brutally maim me into a 5-year coma. When I awoke I saw a piece of paper near my hospital bed with a complex web address on it.
Six months of physical rehabilitation and an extra four hours trying to get the wen address correct on my browser later, I finally gained access to a cryptic site. It had a download link plastered across a screen of Homer's ass. I clicked the link and it shut down my computer. When I rebooted it I found everything on it destroyed due to an immeasurable amount of viruses. Luckily, I was able to play the video the download downloaded to my computer.
THE SIMPSONS EPISODE ZERO: DEAD BART
The first season of The Simpsons was dark. Instead of finding a wacky job after being fired, Homer tried to commit suicide. Dead Bart followed this theme of edgy primetime family hohum. Homer was furious, Marge was disappointed, Lisa was quiet, Maggie wasn't a murderer, and Bart was hyper. In Act 1 of this particular episode, The Simpson were planning a vacation in Delaware and opted to take a plane. On the plane, Bart was running up and down the aisle which was intended to be a heavy social commentary on how the airport employment system is failing and putting off Americans. Still nobody around to stop him, Bart flushes himself down the plane toilet, sending him hurdling to the ground and splattering him across the screen. The scene then cuts to a still photo of a Bart Simpson plush ripped apart and covered in ketchup. This screen sits for the next 3 minutes.

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>>93716336
In Act 2, The Simpsons were gathered around the table crying about Bart's death. As this is happening, several notable Simpsons characters pass by the window in the background, spouting zany one-liners and hilarious quips before continuing on and letting the family grieve in peace. This happens for the entire act, and as it gets further in, Homers begins to snore louder and louder.
In Act 3, The Simpsons are now skeletal caricatures. Maggie and the pets had taken a bus to Las Vegas. The remaining members of the family pay a trip to the cemetery. When they step outside, it becomes clear that Springfield is currently celebrating Halloween and the family has been crying for years. They stroll to the cemetery and look at Bart's grave. Everybody at the funeral services was too lazy to actually bury Bart's body, so it's been sitting on his grave for the past years rotting away and leaving an awful smell.
At the beginning of the series, Matt wanted the show to represent life and all its shortcomings. That's why he made the Tracey Ullman shorts, because he knew that doing so would make life shackle him to a perpetual eternity of sitcom suffering. The Simpsons stand over the grave for a few minutes. Homer then makes a joke so horribly offensive and insensitive that I forced myself to forget it. The camera then pans over the rest of the graves in the cemetery. Strangely enough, they all list the names of Simpsons characters. What's even more odd is that they all have the same date of death, that being December 21, 2012. Obviously that date has passed, and thus the ominous and disturbing message that the world and everything on it would truly end via an ancient Mayan prophecy falls flat and is ultimately all for not. Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.
My computer then bled hyper realistic blood and exploded.

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>>93716359
If you were to take anything away from this, it's that The Simpsons has already featured a Dead Bart, along with a Dead Homer, a Dead Marge, a Dead Maggie, and so on. The Samuels are walking corpses, parodies of their former selves with no spark or uniqueness to easily identify them separate from their competitors. They live day by day making momentary zany lines in the false hope that they'll be remembered two years from now. With all the outrageous stuff they do nowadays, one can only imagine the impossible scenarios The Simpsons will put themselves through, thus making said impossibilities an enigmatic and problematic possibility on this inconsequential timeline.
Maybe, perhaps maybe, they'll make a faithful retelling of Ded Bort real in due time.

el barsinso akjakajakjajsjskajsjajkjs

>>93713725
He died so that we might live

>>93716336
>>93716359
>>93716371
This was funny but then it got real
hyper real

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>>93716469
That's cause it is real cuz

the saMpSOns

they R4 evvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvva

>>93713776
If only we all were that lucky.

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>>93716371
>>93716359
>>93716336


>>93716336
>>93716359
>>93716371


Matt Groin is one sick and crazy mother fucker. Was he intentionally trying to create a show that also commentates on the psychology of the ordinary middle class american citizen that often has to deal with the societal ramifications of being part of a dysfunctional nuclear family while balancing a dead-end job that had no future prospects for him and his family? I'm quite sure this had a bearing on homer to succumb into a state of deep depression, eventually making him resort to murdering his entire family (including his own beloved son, bart.) This sad yet unfortunate circumstance could of been prevented if it wasn't for his unbearable shithead of a boss who belittled him at his expense. The years working at the chemical plant forcibly caused homer to inhale toxic fumes, resulting in irreversible deficits in brain function. Just like chris beniot, he became an hero and ended his life on the whim. Matt wanted to show his audiences that life and death, while cruel and unusual, is inevitable.....even if it's his own ideas and creations

>>93713725
homer never brought him the eggs

>>93713776
>Bort
God damn it

>>93717070
Oney play Sonic Spinball next time.

>then say "Hey Ding Wong" instead of Ding Ding
>then I'll know it was you here

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>>93717070

>>93716371
El PUTO

What even is this thread

>>93717184
HUSBAND WHERE COME HOME FOR SCARE

>>93717575
simpsons shitposting

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perro caca haHAA

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>>93717601
molusco caca

UNA VELA

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>>93717601
>>93717662

>spongebob in a simpsons thread
>caca

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>>93717662
caracol caca
>caracaca

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BART SIMPSON IS BURNING IN HELL!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4r8kAAkMb8

>>93717776
bart muerto
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALQ1ZbH1-w8

>>93717728

It's not that Springfield wasn't unable to relocate from below the dome, it's that the dome WAS part of Springfield and thus relocated with it.

>>93713725
He should have thought twice before trying to stop that fight outside mcdonalds.

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Para el fallesido, una vela...

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>>93715970

HYPER REALISTIC

>>93717575
I don't know either.

>>93716336
>>93716359
>>93716371
This is the best update of Dead Bart yet.

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SI TU VIEJO ES ZAPATERO
ZARPALE LA LATA

eat my borts

>>93713776
They ran out of license plates

>>93713776
apology for poor english

I was sat a moes drinking duff fluid when marge ring

'bort is die'

'no'

and you?

>>93714456
did he wut?

>>93717579
Where me love, come from above

>>93713797
Yeah but when I sin I still feel unclean, does this cleanse have to be renewed? Sounds like a scam

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Sabe pa

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>>93717728
neat

>>93713725
te meo even is already dead

>>93713725
We need to bring the seven family jewels to revive him

DAE BORT DAE

>>93713776
who killed bort

>>93721512
What's the fucking joke?

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>>93717579
FAMILY NIGHT BRINGS A LOT OF FRIGHT

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>>93717776
Dafuq even is that thumbnail

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>>93721512
OH I GET IT IT'S CHUCK'S FUCKS AND SUCKS
IT'S A FUNNY JOKE

>>93721865
Exclusive video footage of Hamor killing bort