Why is this reporter so fucking JACKED? holy shit this guy is

>>93551078
He's a southern boy, with the farmer's strength.

>>93551107
and the guy is so orthodox that he probably has a good diet and workout routine

>>93551107
What the fuck was he farming? this guy looks like he could bench press a skyscraper

probably gets free gym membership with his employment and doesn't want it to go to waste

>>93551107
Kansas is not southern

Do y'all think he might have served in the military?

Maybe he's Superman. Kinda looks like him.

>>93551107
He does look Phenomenal with those glasses

>>93551078
>golden one
Who?

>>93551078
Don't you guys see the clues? Doesn't look anything like his white parents. Always disappears during danger. Has weird-looking eyes...

He's Jackie Chan.

>>93551152
>being this much of a fucking retard
Oh yeah the most american news reporter on this side of the globe is a disgusting illegal alien with a jesus complexn I bet your one of the faggot retards who thinks bruce wayne is batman too

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>>93551152
Boco and his crazy theories again. Remember when he thought our friend Bo was a giant chicken?

>>93551152
God fucking damn it, Boco.
Just shut the fuck up.There is no fucking way that he can be Superman.

>>93551181
thats clearly a farmers tan

>>93551182

Who the Hell's Bruce Wayne?

>>93551078
They uh, grow them big in Smallville if you know what I mean. Eh, Lois?

anyone have the archive link of the last thread like this ?

>>93551078
Shouldn't you be writing an article for today, Lois?

>>93551215
Yeah, but also the tan of a Chinese stunt man.

>>93551078
He's from a farm in Kansas i've heard. Probably was doing lots of heavy lifting. I don't know about the Daily Planet but it should be standard for big companies to have free gyms. He is just an editor, he probably doesn't even go out much and has a lot of free time over that can be spent lifting.
He is good looking sure but maybe he is just socially inept, maybe he's got aspergers.

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>>93551107

>southern

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>>93551152

Ironic shitposting is still shitposting

Reported.

>>93551243
Some spoiled billionaire playboy

Well what do we have here? A muscle-bound nerd!

just more of you to pick on!

Guys...I know this is gonna sound crazy, but hear me out.

What if he's that Captain Marvel guy? You know the one that yells "Shazam!".

Look at the facts. All the reporters here are scrawny or fat, but he is so fucking toned. Shazam magic could easily give you a better body.

Also. Notice how you never see Clark Kent and Superman together? Everyone knows Superman has a weakness to magic, and Captain Marvel is magical! So it's no wonder Superman would steer clear of him!

>>93551126
Have you never been on a farm? There's a lot of heavy shit

>>93551078
HAHAHAHA HE'S PRETENDING HE DOESN'T KNOW WHO SUPERMAN IS HAHAHA UPVOTED! SUCH A FUNNY JOKE HAHAHA!

>>93551126
>>93551126
fucking lazy city slickers

>>93551243
Go back to space Hal.

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>>93551652
time for you to go back

>>93551652
HAHHAHAHA HILARIOUS WHAT A NEW AND INVENTIVE JOKE THIS TOTALLY HASN'T BEEN A THING FOR DECADES BEFORE YOU YOU BORN! OP IS A GENIUS, LOOK AT ALL THE COMEDIC WIT THEY MUST POSSES TO PRETEND THEY DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT A CHARACTER!!!

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>>93551078
He's not jacked it's that good ol Midwest diet and farm work, he's probably pretty fat under that suit

>>93551152
Boco go to bed you're obviously drunk, there's no way this chunky fuck is superman

>>93551126
With those quads, he could probably leap over one.

>le pretending you're retarded meme

He's an awkward farmboy, how hard is that to understand? Can't expect some hick to dress in the height of fashion

>>93551107
Kansas isn't southern, isn't The South and isn't whistling Dixie.

>>93551152
So you're telling me that as a kid Lex Luthor happened to know and go to the same school in the same bumfuck town as Superman? Do you realize how unlikely of a coincidence that is? It's too stupid to be in any way plausible.

Okay so Boco's retarded, but he might be onto something.
Look at that jawline. I think Kent might be Batman

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>>93551152
>>93551836
I keep telling you guys, Kent is The Spirit

>>93551836
I see what you mean but then why make that commute to Gothom every night and back? how could he work a dayjob like that

It's funny because in this thread we all say stupid stuff on purpose. See, we aren't idiots, we're IRONIC! Do you like my "Clark Kent must be Batman!" T-shirt? I bought it at Hot Topic in 2004!

Clark Kent is The Flash.
>>93551874
Better than posting stupid stuff accidentally.
Oh.
Oh no.

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>>93551889
>Better than posting stupid stuff accidentally.

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>>93551874
>>93551895
Man. You're quite a boring cunt, aint ya?

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>>93551078
reminds me of that classic thread about whether or not superman would allow himself to be raped to preserve his identity

>>93551078
well All Star Supes had Clark looking slouched and chubby

>>93551970
That thread missed the obvious answers. Clark would just use his super-clench to keep the alien out of his asshole without the crowd realizing he was using a super power.

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>>93551499
>Also. Notice how you never see Clark Kent and Superman together? Everyone knows Superman has a weakness to magic, and Captain Marvel is magical! So it's no wonder Superman would steer clear of him!

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>>93551970
>>93552008
you fools

>>93551078
I know people from the Planet talking about how the guy's a complete slacker. You never know where to find him whenever an important story hit the news.

That meathead is just too busy lifting to do his fucking job.

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>>93551152
Next your going to tell us Batman is Bruce Wayne

>>93551107
[YEP INTENSIFIES]

>>93552008
He didn't post the best version.
>mfw I don't have it anymore
Fuck

>>93552063
I seem to recall the thread having a bit about Superman casually crushing and sucking in the mutant through his arse

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>>93551078

Eh, he's a farmer's boy. They're built strong. He probably could have been really impressive if he'd stayed there, but he's let it all go to seed. A shame, really; I mean, just look at this goober.

>>93551371
>Kansas-Nebraska Act
>US Civil War
>Not southern.

>>93551152
>equating the most alpha of alphas with that nerd

>>93551499
>Notice how you never see Clark Kent and Superman together?
Didn't Superman dig Kent out from under a pile of rubble that one time after he came back from the dead? Just because Superman doesn't stalk Kent like he does that Lois Lane chick doesn't prove anything.

>>93551152
Dumbass everyone knows Bruce Wayne is superman

Has anyone noticed any 30 meter tall girl scouts lately? This one came up to me with a box of nillaa yumyums? Asked for treefiddy.

>>93551107
But do they want some?

>>93551078
obviously he's from /fit/

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>>93551078

Excuse me Sir, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Saviour Mr. Mxyzptlk?

>>93551078
Hey. I just read Wrath of The Spectre and in it there is a character named Earl Crawford who is mistaken for Clark Kent, but a character says, "Clark Kent? Gee, are you really Superman?" So, I'm confused. Was Superman's identity known in 1974?

>>93551078
Just because you don't go to the gym doesn't mean all nerds with shifty eyes dont.

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>>93552362
Ayo, hol up... hol up

So yu be sayin we wuz Kansas an shiet!?

>>93551078
Maybe he's Superman?

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>>93552558
sounds about right

>>93551078
I heard he got mugged one time while covering a story in Gotham and then he bulked up after that so he wouldn't get messed with again

>>93551846
Does his photographer Jimmy put on black face and pretend to be Ebony white? Why does he sleep in a graveyard?

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>>93553185
>Does his photographer Jimmy put on black face and pretend to be Ebony white?
He crossdressed enough in the silver age, it's within the realm of possibility
>Why does he sleep in a graveyard?
It's the only place the women won't find him

>>93551078
Just once I would love to see Lex shoot Superman with some depower ray and then while he is laughing about how Superman is now powerless, Clarke gets up and still beats the shit out of him because he is still a jacked 300lb brick shithouse in tightas and can beat the fuck out of scientist nerd any way regardless.

Superman is still fucking swole even without powers. Most of the normal human villains would still get their shit pushed in by him.

>>93553794
Did you see that one episode of the animated series where he gets sent to the future?

Earth has a red sun and he kills a wolf to establish dominance over its pack.

>>93553821
There was a JLA episode where he has to fight Stepenwolf on a planet with a red sun. He does it by being a literal Boy Scout.

>>93553794
Gumball did this best

>>93552063
I'm still praying someone at DC makes Kryptofuck an actual character.

>>93551078
That's so you can't open hand slap him.

>>93552265
Yeah, he could do that, but that would blow his cover.

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>>93553794

>>93551152
Shut the fuck up with your retard theories, Boco.

>>93551078
Maybe he's the Flash and that's why he always dispears.

Wouldn't be quite clever if a hero made money off him self like a journalist or a photographer?

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>>93554718

Yeah, right. What sort of idiot would fall for something like this?

>>93553794
Isn't Lex jacked as fuck too? Though I'd love to see a physical confrontation between two strong regular humans on equal ground.

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>>93554809
Here you go Mr Jameson I stood on a random roof for hours luckily I'm really good at finding Spider-Man!

>>93551078

He used to play football and stays in shape. He's a dork because he's a total autist.

>>93551078
I'd be surprised if Kent is as ripped as Superman, he's got a job to do and can't walk around on that sort of diet forever. No idea how a Superman does it but the guy isn't human so maybe he just doesn't store fat. Lucky guy.
Anyways, you're looking at great genetics, labor and probably a good athlete. Man could be a fitness model if he could be bothered to cut, now he's just an awesome lifter who doesn't throw his weight around.
Respect.

>>93555298
Yeah, Dr Luthor is jacked too and he _does_ chase body fat percentages. Still, Kent is just huge. I met him briefly, impression I got was like an uncle of mine who was in some acronym outfit, when this guy is around you're totally safe but God help you if you fuck with someone on his watch.

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>>93551078
What's that on his collar?

>>93551385
Ironic? Fuck off with that 'Clark Kent really is Superman bullshit'.

>>93555453
Clark Kentsberg

>>93551078
Guys Super Man is actually the alter ego of Captain America think about it. Truth Justice and the American way that's something Captain America would say.

>>93551078
>being surprised that a normal human person can stay in shape
Maybe you should hit the gym, fatty.

He's Superman. I bet he thinks he's so fucking smug in that disguise. What an ass. Someday I'll teach him a lesson.

Superman is actually Optimus Prime.

Have you ever seen them both in the same place at the same time? think about it

>>93555627
There's good shape and there's the sort of shape Kent is in.

>>93556416
He looks like every generic well-trained guy.
Not as muscular as those freaks that abuse Venom-steroids under that crime lord from Gotham City, though. What was his name again? Kane? Brain?
Something like that.

>>93551709
>HILARIOUS WHAT A NEW AND INVENTIVE JOKE

Says the guy stating the obvious in all caps.

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>>93551152
Why must you ruin everything?

>>93557228
You mean that large fellow? The becowled dude?

>>93557723
His name's Bane, I think. Can anyone tell me about Bane? Why does he wear the mask?

>>93551107
Ain't nobody man enough to feel the pain.

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>>93554027
>Illustrated by Ross

>>93551152
What? Clark Kent has glasses, Superman doesn't. If he takes them off, how's he supposed to see?

>>93555321
Good work, Parker. Here's ten dollars. What are you standing there for, Labor Day?! Get out there and get me more pictures or you're fired!

>>93557228
Don't be ridiculous, the guy is as big as Superman and doesn't have a power lifter's belly. Sure there are other guys like him, just not many.

>>93560526
He's just some nerd with a gym membership.

I dunno but i'm pretty sure Superman is actually John Cena.

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>>93551152

>>93551152
Superman doesn't wear glasses, retard.

>>93551371
All of you are southerners.

>>93553794

read Up, Up, and Away.

>>93562040
C U T E

U

T

E

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>>93551107
I certainly don't want none from him

>>93551107
They don't want none

>>93551078
He's just fat. Hot though.

>>93551078

You know I come from two military families. I spent a lot of my time training and honing my senses for the day I would become a warrior. I'm strong, but I look at fucks like Clark Kent and wonder where did he train? ON A FARM?!

Krypton is a post singularity race. They transcend the division between biological and technological. Clark can shapeshift.

>>93551078
Look at his jaw, he's just big built.

>>93563104
that's where Brock Lesner trained dude looked like that in high school

>>93555578
Who?

>>93552362
>Free state
>Union
>Northwest of the Confederacy
>Great Plains/Midwest
>Hates Missouri
No

>>93551078
>golden one

Kindly fuck off back to /pol/

>And then he's got this whole nerd act going when he's literally so fucking slammed he makes the golden one look like a twink pussy

most quiet muscular guys seem to be completely socially inept nerds from what i've seen. i think the "muscular" part is more of an extension of their insecurity and desire for some form of control over their life, they lack severely in social skills and overcompensate with an obsessive interest in their physical appearance. i don't know where the stereotype came from that most physically fit guys are meathead jocks who get all the girls because when i was in the school the football players were all anxiety-ridden wizard-like disasters falling apart at the seams with homelives like a beauty pageant child with a stage mom/dad, abusively controlling them and forcing this live upon them.

it's kinda sad.

>>93562040
izat billy?

When is Clark going to realize that the paper is dead and that he has the face for TV.

>>93569483
He's not really working for a paper, it's an alien front pretending to be a news outlet since they have an idiot like Perry shuffling reporters to random assignments they have no business covering.
>You, car reviewer, you're covering fine dining today!

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>>93551107
>>93551164
>>93552110
>>93552535
>>93562775
>>93562895

>>93551152
He is, I watched him run down Sullivan Lane once when an explosion went off somewhere in the city and he ripped open his shirt and there was a Superman symbol under it. Then he went into a phone booth and pulled off his reporter cloths and did his hair up a little bit and then flew off. He wasn't even subtle about it.

Also President Luthor is still evil. The giant kryptonite death ray he's building in space is going to be used to kill Superman, not other invaders like Zodd. I'm not sure why people aren't putting that together.

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>>93569483
>face for tv
>face is always blurry somehow even not on camera

Face for radio maybe.

>>93551165
https://youtu.be/3xi3I52mtzk

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GUYS I HAVE ACTUAL FOOTAGE

I was fast enough to pull out my camera while he was flying off. He's not even that blurry.

anyone recognize his face?

>>93572847
You idiot, that's Cyborg Superman.

>>93571802
What kind of crazy conspiracy bullshit is this? You might as well put on a tinfoil hat, too.

>>93572988
Someone hasn't caught the latest episode of Godfrey

>>93551152
It's pretty obvious that Superman secret identity is Batman, otherwise why do you think one works at night and the other one in the day?

>all these idiots who don't know Clark Kent is actually Black Canary

>>93573254
>Clark in fishnets
eerrrrr

>>93551078
Hes just one of those robots who started to browse /fit/ thinking that Lois would fuck him, but is still too autistic to do it.

>>93572847
I don't see it

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>>93551078
I heard he works out with this guy. Handsome fucker runs a business in competition with Lex Corp.

>>93551152
You are aware if some people remove their glasses, they can't visibly see, right?

>>93551243
Manchild with delusions of grandeur spending his hard earn wealth on toys.

>>93551499
>Notice how you never see Clark Kent and Superman together?
Supes ain't gay.

He want that delicious Lois THICC vanilla milkshake.

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>>93553962
one of the best episodes

>>93555402
>>93555298
Isn't a typical nonpowered Kryptonian still way beyond any human? They are genetically engineered to be physical perfection. So a fight between them would be like a middle age man trying to keep up with a 20 something athlete.

>>93575339
I heard that guy's a chicken.

>>93551078
Clarks covered wars, y'know.

>>93551371
Mason-Dixon line is the top of Maryland, so yeah I guess Kansas is Southern.

>>93551078
He's a big guy sure but at the end of the day he is still just a mild-mannered farm boy, he'd avoid any fight for any reason. He'd never use his strength to harm anyone, even if he is strong enough to lift a whole hay barrel. Maybe even two hay barrels.

>>93551889
The Flash is kind of short though isn't he?

>>93551152
Shut up Boco.

>>93551107
Kansas isn't in the South, it's in the MidWest.

>>93552063

"holy shit guys, it's Superman disguised as Clark Kent!" Just like in All Star Supes

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>>93573304
Yes

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>>93573462
>he rants/shitposts about a Chad that flies and saves Lois constantly
Kek

That reminds me of Spider-Man. How a former nerdy, skinny guy got ripped just like that? Even if Peter isn't buffed, he's toned as fuck, well defined muscles everywhere.
What is the in-universe explanation?

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>>93551371

>>93580439
I think Nevada is kind of ambiguous.

>>93580439
Pennsylvania should be speckled red. There's a lot of areas in that state where you could easily have mistaken it for the South. Lots of people with thick southern accents from Penn as well.

>>93580785
We don't call the land outside Philadelphia, Pittsburgh and Harrisburg Penylstucky for nothin'.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1IXyujNbVE

>>93580309
He's still skinny enough, put on a shirt and jacket and he looks normal.

>>93580846
god damn, I will never leave new york.

>>93551344
>autistic socially awkward nerd
is he /ourguy/?

>>93558488
All I know is he's a big guy

>>93551078
Cape logic, don't try to find a reason

>>93551078

He eats his carrots

>>93584248
For you

>>93580309

Marble doesn't just have shitty writers, they also have shitty artists?

>>93569061
yep
>>93569483
the lego batman games had the same idea, surprised there aren't more versions of him where that's the case

>>93576430
you take that back faggot

>>93551078
He looks like he's more powerful than a locomotive!

>>93571802
Go back to /pol/ with that conspiracy shit, no way the President is trying to build a deathray to kill one guy

>>93551078
Wait was that the guy that got buttfucked by that rock monster?

>>93580439
>am european
>school system teaches standard UK english
>you all sound like southerners to me

Oh wait, how do you say it?

Ya'all soundin' like Suddern ta me.

>>93551815
What the hell kind of fake news tabloid bullshit is that? Luthor was either home tutored or went to some fancy private academy. There's no way he was hanging out with some shit kicker farm boy

>>93555578
Captain America is a fictional character numb nuts

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>>93569061

nope.

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>>93592508