All I'm sayin' is...

I've always wanted to kick a duck in the dick.

turns out, little monkey fella

like, /co/. Why do we need it? We already have Tumblr. It's just redundant.

________________aight?

>>93401097
there isn't enough evidence to support that the Holocaust ever happened.

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>>93401339

>>93401399
And you actually think that Karl? Do you really think that? You're a bloody idiot!

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>>93403392
RICKY, LET HIM SPEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAK!!!!!!!!

this hairy bloke

>>93401097
From what is this and why is so popular?

The woman next door whose mam's a witch

Some of what Karl says is complete bullshit, but sometimes it's really interesting.

>>93401097
Right, I'm seein... Clive Warren

I went to see...one of them leg rubbers...professional leg rubbers

>>93405336
The Ricky Gervais Show. It was a show on HBO that animated a bunch of conversation from Ricky Gervais' Podcast. The bald guy is Karl Pilkington who was a producer for Ricky and happens to be a complete idiot according to Ricky and Stephen Merchant

I sorted it

>>93405586
Who's Clive Warren?
GET ME CLIVE WARREN!

>>93405631
Oh Karl, that's not medicine!

>>93406361
What do you mean "she sorted it"!?

Karl was right

>have I told you about your immune system?

CONGRESS TART

I can't watch The Ricky Gervais Show, I just feel too bad for Karl. He seems like a nice enough guy, just a little dim witted and they're just jerks to him. It's the wrong kind of cringe for me

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>>93401097
Don't....talk........SHHHHHHHHHHHIT

>>93407809
Try out his travel show An Idiot Abroad

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BA6u9jUKyN8

>>93401097
Why doesn't Black Bolt learn sign language?

> If Jellyfish are like 98% water why don't we just add 2% and get rid of them?

My absolute favorite line

I could eat a knob at night

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He was the loneliest man ever...in the world.

>>93408436
I don't think that's going to sway him. I like the Ricky Gervais Show just fine, but Idiot Abroad comes off as horribly cruel. They're just actively fucking with Karl in ways that aren't really funny.

>>93401097
Is Karl just a Cartoon character wearing a real person costume?

What I mean is...I don't know what I mean

HE'S GOT A HEAD LIKE A WHAT?

>>93406018
He certainly follows a different chain of logic than most people

>>93408575
He wasn't wrong.

>>93408822
Yeah, there was an episode where they have people pretend to kidnap Karl in the Middle East. That shit's not funny.
>>93407809
Karl bites back on the radio show sometimes
https://youtu.be/JqEGihwxvq8

>>93408822
Karl deserves to be left in peace.

>>93409180
And then later in the same episode when Ricky screams at Karl for not continuing on to Petra. Motherfucker, let the poor guy float in the Dead Sea for a little while! You WANTED him to experience things, so let him! He'll get to Petra!

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>So I was grabbing a pint with one of the lads from my old neighborhood, right?
>Says his girlfriend was cheating on him
>Turns out he sent her on a trip to the states
>and one day he gets an email from her
>And she's doing a double peace sign with her eyes roll up
>But then he zooms into the background
>Bald headed fat fella

NTR News

>>93407809
Moaning of Life is best because it's pure Karl free to do whatever the fuck he wants without Steve and Ricky yelling at him

He unironically made sense once you think about it

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Are there any photos of Susan anywhere? I really want to know what she looks like.

>>93409338
Top bantz anon

>>93409373
It's just that Ricky and Stephen don't like to think.

>>93409437
Ricky is convinced he's a genius. He makes up as much shit as Karl, like the English not using crossbows because it was "ungentlemanly".

>>93409437
Merchant said Papua New Guinea was in Indonesia

>>93409338
turns out
big black fella

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>>93407302

>>93409373
>>93409641
>>93409661
One time Karl said "Columbus wouldn't have discovered America if he had a sat-nav"

Witty line that completely went over the heads of the supposedly more educated Ricky and Steve and they just screeched "WOT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HAHAHAHAHA"

Don't they all hate each other now? Didn't people figure out Karl was just putting on an act?

>>93410226
The last time Karl said anything about this was on a Reddit AMA.
According to him there hasn't been any falling out, they just haven't bothered keeping in contact much since the show ended. Also Ricky farted on his head the last time they saw each other.

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>>93409420
I think this is her

that you shouldn't be doing that, clarence

>>93406018
>hasnt been karlpilled yet
Look at this bloke

>>93401097

HEAD LIKE A FUCKING ORANGE.

>>93410362
>Also Ricky farted on his head the last time they saw each other.
That has to be a lie. Ricky is not tall enough to fart anyone in the face, even if they where lying down.

>>93411983
Funny that Clarence recently did a transition that faded from an orange to Sumo's head.

Sumo is the character people keep comparing him to.

>>93412060
I think the source of a lot of Ricky's treatment towards Karl is because Karl's taller and in better shape than him.

Really annoys that egotistical manlet that he isn't some kind of ubermensch compared to the dimwit he thinks Karl is.

>>93412123

Nah, thinking they're not friends or something is ridiculous, they know they've all got this weird chemistry going on and I'd highly doubt Ricky doesn't in some way value the weird things that come out of Karls mouth.... a good 1/3 of it is legit quotable.

Karl is basically this fuckin world-wise school-stupid type guy who has a weird take on life whats not to like about that.

>>93409661
Half of it is.

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>OOOH CHIMPANZEE THAT MONKEY NEWS
>Thank you, Guy. It's time to move on to everyone's favourite segment in which we listen to some of Hal's inane ramblings about all things simian.
>Look at him, I can already see the gears in his fat empty head turning. Go on, Hal.
>...Alright. So this week... I'm telling you about some monkey news that came about... It happened to me.
>Straight from the horses mouth, eh?
>Straight from the donkey's mouth, more like.
>(Kyle snickers)
>I was going about doing my usual bit of patrolling around the Earth. Flying about. Giving things a look. I'm the Green Lantern, like, so it's all part of the job, isn't it?
>Yeah, we're all Green Lanterns, Hal, get to the bloody point!
>So I'm flying, thinking about what me and Carol are going to have for tea when I see someone doing a crime.
>Did you hit him with a giant green fist?
>Oh, he bloody would too, the nonce! The most powerful weapon in the universe wrapped around his finger. He can create anything he'd like and all he has to do is think but still... You just create big green fists and boxing gloves, don't you, Hal.
>Well... I mean... It gets the job done in it.
>Let him finish, Guy.
>So I fly down to the bloke who's having a row and I can see he's not about cooperating. Big, scary fella having a row in the middle of the road--
>Was he a monkey?
>He's going on about how he wants to enslave the human race or summat.
>Right. It's Grodd. He's talking about Grodd.
>I can tell he's having a bad day and all, so I want to talk him down a bit. I say: "look mate, I know you're having a rough time and that, but we can't be having this. I want you to come off it." He's a bit persistent, though, inny? He's like "I don't want to stop. I don't want to listen. You're having a laugh."
>Amazingly calm for a rampaging maniac, but go on.
>So I go to hit him with a green fist but it turns out I can't because he had telepathic powers. And he was a monkey fella.
>BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
>Guy, play a record.

>>93412417
10/10

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>>93412417
Fucking magnificent.

>>93412417
very nice

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>Um, Diana... I think you're quite into Greek philosophers. Um... Plato, Socrates... They're a bit of an obsession of yours, aren't they?
>That's right, Clark. Actually, just the other day I was reading some Aristotle in the library on Themyscira. We actually have this beautiful, expansive library...
>It's more of a temple, actually.
>Right, it's this massive thing. Just culture oozing from everywhere.
>God, that's so interesting. Were there any quotes that stuck with you, at all? Anything that... Resonated?
>Well there was one that made me think of you a bit. More of an, um, an ethos than a quote. Aristotle wrote that contemplation is the highest form of moral activity because it is continuous, pleasant, self-sufficient, and complete.
>Mmm. Yeah. Bruce, what, um, what do you think Aristotle meant when he wrote that.
>Um... Well, it's a bit like a bumper sticker I saw in Gotham once.
>HAHAHA!
>Oh, Hera...
>He just immediately drags Aristotle down to the level of a bumper sticker! I suppose that's the sum of all his efforts, isn't it? Being held in the same esteem as a bumper sticker.
>I imagine philsophy students often have arguments in which they quote the vast wisdom of bumper stickers.
>Yeah! Ahaha!
>Descartes vs. "Honk if you're horny".
>AHAHA!
>What did the sticker say, Bruce?
>It was summat like... "Look Before You Jeep"
>Brilliant, that.
>How is that like what Aristotle said, then, Bruce?
>Um... To me it's sort of like... you shouldn't go in half-cocked, y'know?
>Go on.
>Say I'm fighting the Joker...
>Ugh...
>I'm fighting the Joker, and I'm about to do 'im but he says. "Oi, Bruce..."
>Knows your identity, does he?
>"Now you can kill me, you could, but that wouldn't be right, would it? Because you don't believe in all that. You should let me go because that's what you've been thinking about, innit?"
>What does that even mean, you bloody lunatic?
>Here's what I say: "I think, therefore I can't."
>Bruce Wayne, 2017.
>You're a muppet. Play a record.

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>>93412952
Fantastic

>>93409270
To be fair he did really like living in a cave.

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>>93412417

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>>93412417
Guy approves.

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>>93412417
>>93412952
I love these. I want more.

>>93412952
Bump for this shit

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>>93412952
>>93412417

>>93412952
brilliant

>>93412952
byootiful

>>93406018
Karl's not stupid, he's just ascended.

>>93419311
He's just another grumpy inbred Mancunian

>>93419311
That one about him alone on a desert island was what convinced me that he's genuinely smarter than Ricky or Stephen.

So did like all of their podcast videos on YT get deleted ~10 hours ago or was that just me

>>93410466

Very English looking.

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>that time Karl was worried that if people had cyberized brains, they would start letting the computer override the personality because it was more intelligent
>Ricky and Stephen just belittle him

>>93419311
I think Karl has some very complex and inquisitive thoughts but that he has trouble properly organising and verbalising them. I have dyspraxia, so I'm kind of the same way. I'll have what I believe to be an intelligent point and it'll just sound all garbled and slow coming out. I imagine he's probably a bit more eloquent in writing, even if it's not by much.

>R: would you change him at all?
>K: i'd put him in the distance

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>>93412952
>>93412417

>>93419409
Just watched it at your recommendation, and 100% agree.

>we went to the park, Susanne read the paper while I was playing with a ladybug

>didn't do much this morning, just sitting by the pool saving insects that flew into it

Carl is too pure for this rotten world.

>>93419998
They've read from his diary before. Aside from being a little less awkward, it's still exactly as baffling.

>>93421953
Did they publish his diary?

>>93405534
I'm watching the clone one, and I think he actually had a fair point. How would you know you're the original you?

Or maybe I'm just stupid.

We should dig up Michael Jackson's corpse and re enact a favorite porno of mine.

>>93422896
He was 100% correct, as if your clone has your memories it should have the memories of donating its genetic material to make a clone. The only way to know you're the clone is if there's a gap in time between the donation of DNA and the creation of the clone that you can't remember, but doesn't your mind just naturally fill in gaps like that anyway?

>>93420197
Karl is the reason I started loving insects. It's so fucking heartwarming hearing his tales of doing his bit.

>>93401097
Any links? I've never heard their voices and I only just found out it was a series/podcast spinoff thing

did I ever tell you about the immune system

>>93425326
Look up the Ricky Gervais show on Toonova. I just finished binge watching it last week.

>>93422896
He's actually right as often as not, but Ricky acts like he's an idiot no matter what he says.

>>93425326
A lot of the episodes are on YouTube as well.

>>93425326
there are torrents up on TPB for all the Xfm episodes I think. Personally, I'd recommend those above the cartoon since most of the show is recycled from the original radio series.

>>93425502
>>93425654
>>93425663
thanks dudes

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>>93425373

>>93401097
i miss you

>That episode of Idiot Abroad where Karl goes to see the midget community in China and is really impressed and happy about it, but Warwick Davis was so upset that he got Ricky and Stephen to call Karl and bitch him out for "supporting such a horrible place", even though everyone in said community seemed really happy with their lot in life
That and the bit where he goes to see the conjoined twins in India was proof enough to me that Karl would be a cool guy to hang out with.

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>>93419977
Karl was also right about the ending world hunger bit. Turns out those starving african villages are either too stubborn to resettle in more habitable environments or national/international militias keep them from having a decent amount of resources. Food charities are an ineffective placebo.

>>93429324
>too stubborn to resettle

The hell does this even mean. How easy would it be for you to up and move everything you own likely without any vehicle, internet or government support? Hell, even with that stuff how easily could you up and move? Not exactly something people just do very often, and this coming from someone who moved five times in a year once. It was fucking exhausting in every sense of the word, mentally and physically.

>>93429446
>How easy would it be for you to up and move everything you own likely without any vehicle, internet or government support?
Very easy if I didn't have fucking anything else. Literally what is keeping starving people in Uganda from leaving and moving somewhere in the country that's slightly less shitty?

>>93429324
this is true
anything food charities ever accomplish is getting them fed unsustainably which lets populations grow, again unsustainably, which only makes the problem worse

>>93419977
there's a few instances where they have to be baiting him, like that thing about the moon or the cloning machine

>>93429505
But it's likely that after trekking all the way somewhere else they're not going to be in a better position than they were before. Now they would have spent what little money they had relocating their families, drained themselves and still be starving.