ITT : Unsolved /co/ mysteries

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>>93298532

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>I can think of three good reasons
What were they?

Isn't Spongebob asexual?

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What was in the Christmas presents?

>>93298623
>7 mile spanking machine

How often did Squidward take part in things like that?

Spongebob is a confirmed asexual

Also, sea sponges reproduce asexually IRL

>>93298532
Just friends hanging out
Not that I expect you to know this.

>>93298654

Explain? Who is that?

>>93298532
No

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>>93298678

https://youtu.be/Ht5c64Q_Pi8

>>93298676
And doing "Karate".

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>>93298532
we will never know

>>93298734
>what is father/daughter relationship

>>93298748
Niece and Laid Back Uncle.

That doesn't help things does it?

>>93298748
>what is daddy kink and Electra complex

>>93298700

I thought its been accepted that karate was a metaphor for drugs

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>>93298734
leave her out of this she just a child

>>93298532
>FUCK, I want to do it right away

>>93298919
Nope, plenty of those moments were more post coitus glow than anything else.

>>93298734
>>93298931
red fingertips

>>93298644
No, he reproduces in a cloud of spores.

>>93298661
Those are two different kinds of asexual and you should feel bad for confusing them.


>>93298532
Just fuck buddies.

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>>93298997
get out

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>>93298820
>>93298734
can someone redraw this with them

>>93298919
That was the episode with the fish hooks, there isn't much else that's both fun and inherently dangerous.

>>93298661
>>93299008
Spongebob reproduces by budding

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JIytOL-Q18

>>93298532
No.They were just friends. It's implied during the first few episodes of S1 that SpongeBob may have had a crush on Sandy, but it didn't go anywhere beyond that.

>>93299789

So his kids will be clones?

>>93298532
By the author words spongebob is asexual

>>93298931
even back when I was watching the show as a kid she never seemed a child to me (granted, I've never seen the movie at that point)

>>93298734
Stop projecting your sick fetish

>>93298748
>>93298785

There was literally an episode where she wore a disguise and seduced him for plot reasons. He's also been jealous whenever she hangs out with romantic interests.

>>93299755
No that episode was a metaphor/pun on playing "hooky", which is a term for skipping school. They even call it playing hooky in the episode.

>>93301723
>romantic interests
>interests

The fuck? What cartoon girl has more than one regular? Never seen the show but sounds like a whore

>>93301804
There was definitely that weird depressed prince she hung out with, but other people have "hit on" her in the series and Beetlejuice seemed peeved about it.

>>93298532
Just friends

Also:was Pearl actually in love with Rose?

>>93299008
Asexual, as a scientific term, references species that reproduce without a partner.
Asexual, as an internet buzzword, references lonely permavirgins who've accepted their fate,and do not reproduce at all.

If you give the second group legitimacy, then you are a literal cuckold.

>>93298644
>>93299008
>>93299789
But he has parents.

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>>93298532

Probably.

Sometimes they imitate dynamics that are typical of characters who are dating, tries to be refined in their first episode, a big guy gets her attention, and all that "she prefers to be with larry" thing.

It is very likely that she is something like her girlfriend but it is never said directly because it is program for very young children.

>>93298593
>name is just father and mother's names smashed into an ugly sound
Does anyone do this in real life when naming a child?

>>93301927

>Also:was Pearl actually in love with Rose?

Fun how complicated SU makes relationships in the sense that gems are like 'I don't know what love is' but at the same time 'I want to fuse with you and only you forever. fuck similar gems like you. you are special'.

Like Jesus Christ it gets really annoying when the whole 'they're aliens who don't understand human bonds despite basically being capable of it in all but name' becomes an argument. Like fuck off. Gems can love each other in monogamous relationships.

>>93298532
>>93303766
Wasn't sandy originally meant to be a love interest (or at least as far as romance goes in a cartoon like this), but at the same time the idea was dropped faster than a squirrel comparing this situation to some kind of bizarre metaphor?

>>93303828
I very vaguely remember an old episode of 16 and pregnant where they did that. Doesn't help that they were white trash hick types

>>93303828

Not /co/ but one infamous example of this is Renesmee Cullen

>>93298658
When I saw that as a kid, I thought it was a reference to how Squidward hates himself and his life. But now that I think about it, it could've been a hidden dirty joke, lol.

>they dont know about the reddit theory post about spongebob and sandy's karate episode

>>93307199
https://www.reddit.com/r/FanTheories/comments/57cu4f/in_the_episode_of_spongebob_where_spongebob_and/

>>93303828
>MFW my first name is my moms name with the letters scrambled around with one added in
>TFW I'm male

>>93301273
Just becuase he CAN do it that way, doesnt mean he MUST do it that way.

>>93299119
just because someone can, does it mean they should?

>>93298532
I don't know how to break this to you anon, but the sponge is gay for the starfish. He's a gay icon in children's television.

>>93299119
When will this comic update?

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>>93298532

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>>93308747
>Neither one has a helmet on

>>93299119
Only if you cut the request into your arm.
AKA FUCK OFF

>>93308769
Maybe it's snowing

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>>93299119
whoops

>>93303828
Worked with a guy named Carek. His parents names were Camilla and Derek

>>93308873
It's Beetlejuice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWHVvXUw-RU

>>93308873
You're cool people

>>93308886
>Carek

Damn that gave me Peasants Quest flashbacks.