JSA Storytime: X-Statix

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>>93255627

>>93255627
pepe?

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>>93255641

>>93255661
"best friend"

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>>93255661
is Dark Souls 2 worth it for 12bux or will it just be frustrating?

>>93255710
Dark Souls 2 is the worst game in the series
So no

>>93255627
>She Xorn
BEENDIIIISSSSSSS!!!!!!111111!!!!!11!!!

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>>93255710
OH SHIIII-

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>>93255727
"soul-crushing difficulty" is not a selling point to me, good to know

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>>93255771

>>93255627
Hello, Storyteller.

That fuckin' Dark Days/Metal/whatever the hell is really taking the ultimate piss now with the logical extreme of Batwank. Everyone is Batman now, no doubt fulfilling the wet dreams of corporate and editorial alike.

Like, seriously, can Batman please just fuck off already? How far deep does DC have to shove the Bat-Cock down everyone's throat before people get sick of this shit and collectively say "No.", and piss off to endlessly fellate a different IP? Cause that day can't come soon enough.

>>93255734
>Tike without beady eyes
Looks weird bth

Top 10 sales finally appeared, and I really want to know what the actual numbers are. Lots of SE

Also, according to BleedingCool, Secret Empire got another issue added to it, called Secret Empire Omega #1 (like The Oath).

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>>93255799
>>93255800
Batstuff subsidizes the niche shit

>>93255847
>there was no Secret Empire Alpha
What the fuck are you doing, Marvel?!

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>>93255858
Oh Doop, I'm hungover today too

>>93255800
It's been almost 30 years since Batman '89 with no sign of slowing down.

Something I found funny today was Sideshow was advertising a ludicrously detailed life-size Joker bust. It blows my mind that someone out there loves the Joker so much that they'd pay hundreds of dollars to have his lifelike, deadeyed clown head on their mantle.

The fact there's a market for that is why Batman will continue to be the brand leader.

>>93255858
This.

>>93255847
Also, the end will lead into Marvel Generations, that which leads into Marvel Legacy, that will lead into the Introduction of Marvelman into the Marvel Universe.

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>>93255883

>>93255887
It kinda died a little after Batman and Robin. It didn't outright kill the franchise but there were a lot more "Batman and Robin are gay" jokes after that.

>>93255800
Meanwhile at Marvel the Ultimate Universe is coming back apparently.

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>>93255889
Leaked final page of Marvel Legacy.

Thanks to the kind drawfag who made it

>>93255710
>>93255771
The whole super punishing difficulty thing is just exclusionist propaganda perpetuated by elitist fans who want to claim the series for themselves to stroke their epeens. The series is more about preparation and strategy than being absurdly tough.

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>>93255907
sick Eno ref

>>93255953
LOL

Generations sounds like ass desu

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>>93255960
hmmmm

do you have to be good at pressing buttons ala combos?

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>>93255997

>>93255627
OP is a faggot WHO NEEDS TO STOP MISTAKING OTHER PEOPLE FOR ME EVEN WHEN I POST BEFORE THEM JUST BECAUSE A POST HAS "FAGGOT" AND "OP" IN THE SAME SENTENCE DOESN'T MEAN I MADE IT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>93255997
DS doesn't really have combos. Only Heavy and Light attack. Lots of strafing/dodging/and rolling though.
I haven't played 2, but I remember there being complaints about enemy placement and anti-grinding implements.

>>93256019
Shut the fuck up, you whiny attention whore.

>>93255997
Not really. Combat focuses on timing and wise use of equipment.

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>>93256012
so how was the first issue of Bobby Is Gay Now?

>>93255997
There are no combos in it. I played DS1 for the first time this year after being turned off by all the people ranting about how sicknasty hard it was.

If you've ever played Castlevania NES, you know how when you jump you're locked into that animation until you land? It's kind of like that but with attacks, so it's all about defending and waiting for an opening to get an attack in.

>>93256040
Haven't read it yet. So far I am only reading Blue.

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>>93256052
hmmmmmmmm.

I suck at dodging.

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>>93256072

>tfw batman's villians have more fans than x-statix probably
why is comics pain?

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>>93256089

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>>93256092
because we can't have nice things

>>93256052
Oh but I will say if you get frustrated by dying then you probably shouldn't play it. It's a game that requires patience and expects you to fail as you learn how to proceed.

Honestly it's probably not your wheelhouse. The RPG mechanics are weak, and exploring is not really encouraged because you can stumble upon an area with difficult enemies. Storywise the part that's told to you verbally is boring and the good part comes from reading about the lore online.

There's not really anything about it that I think would grab you.

Now Dragon's Dogma...

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>>93256130
>>93256135
I do get pretty annoyed by dying repeatedly/suddenly/unfairly when exploring, at least in TES I usually get to run away

>>93256092
The worst part is that this comic isn't even obscure or shit.

>>93256135
>Now Dragon's Dogma...
Is shit.

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>>93256156

>>93256135
>Now Dragon's Dogma...
... has a really cool and innovative combat system marred by the lack of fast travel and party members who never shut the fuck up.

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>>93256178
>lack of fast travel
NGL that's almost always fatal for me in a huge worlded game :(

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>>93256204

>>93256204
>being a lazy twat
>in 2017
wow

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>>93256223

>>93256204
Mama Doop is big.

>>93256252
You mean THICC

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>>93256228
I'm sorry I don't enjoy unnecessary tedium :(

anyone else remember Suikoden IV's fucking boat?

>>93256019
lmao

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>>93256271

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>>93256297
babby Doop is adorable

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>>93256328

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>>93256346
Do google the story of Abelard and Heloise

>>93256328
I don't understand what Ingmar Bergman has to do with anything. I mean, it's funny in its randomness, but...

>>93256271
>anyone else remember Suikoden IV's fucking boat?
Never played Suikoden, but I do remember all the tiresome bitching about Wind Waker's sailing. I will never understand how all these people have the gall to bitch and moan about that even though it was perfectly fine. The music is nice, the atmosphere is sweeping, epic(in the correct definition of the word, mind), and yet at the same time kinda relaxing. And it takes at most like three minutes to get to your destination anyway, for fucks sake. I dunno, maybe I'm just a freak for having a modicum of patience. Though granted, it helps there's stuff to do along the way.

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>>93256366
It's the fucked-up family dynamics as background, I think

>>93256388
the boat had 1) crazy numbers of random encounters 2) was slow as fuck 3) was incredibly hard to steer into port

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>>93256413

>>93255734
Did they fucked?

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>>93256433

>>93256040
literally only going to read the Daken issue

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>>93256450
(ignore that this lineup never happened at the same time)

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>>93256481
How come no one ever mentions Doop as a bisexual hero, huh

>>93256481
Or that Edie is a flying brick for some reason.

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>>93256502

>>93256502
We don't deserve Doop.

>>93256413
>the boat had 1) crazy numbers of random encounters 2) was slow as fuck 3) was incredibly hard to steer into port
See, that sounds like shit, and I can completely understand why people would dislike it.

Actually, the slowness in particular sounds like the worst part, cause that's just breaking game flow. Seems to be a recurring issue with boats, in fact, since we all know that boats are totally glacial in real life, right? Fucking hell... The hovercraft in Beyond Good and Evil wasn't slow, so what's everyone else's excuse?

Fuck that pre-rendered pile of wank for BGAE 2, by the way. There was a trailer and alleged game play footage of this game near a decade ago, so until there's a demo or something, you can suck my dick. Pre-production... fucking shameful.

>>93256502
He has a gender?

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>>93256530
is this metacommentary on how so many writers waifu Kitty?

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>>93256621

>>93255953
Is that Heart or Man, though?

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>>93256643
who's got the translator at hand

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>>93256662

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>>93256680

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>>93256702

>>93256621
Why is Kitty so wafuable?

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>>93256740

>>93256621
Why IS it always Kitty? How come nobody waifus Ororo? Well, except Claremont of course. ... And let's be honest, me if I ever bothered to read a mainline X-Men book.

>>93256481
>Venus Dee Milo and U-Go Girl on the same team
What?

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>>93256772
if only

>>93256751
>>93256775
Kitty's more approachable.

>>93256775
She's a cute teenie, obviously.

Storm is an adult black woman.

>>93256751
>>93256775
Because when these writers were first reading X-Men, they were teenagers, just like Kitty.

It's why so many 20 year olds in /co/ waifu Jubilee.

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>>93256795

>>93256775
You know, if I would waifu some X-girl then that would be... fuck I hate Rogue and I am not into Ororo or Psylocke and fuck Jean she is worst girl. Who's left?

>>93256874
Tons. Magik, Emma, Rachel, Dazzler, etc.

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>>93256872

>>93256874
Emma best girl

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>>93256896

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>>93256916

>>93256874
Dust

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>>93256933

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>>93256896

>>93256943
Man, the Academy X kids got fucked.

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>>93256950
jfc

>>93256803
>>93256846
Yeah, but Ororo's an adult who has her shit together. She's cool, sensible, somewhat regal at times. I think she's perfectly approachable, since she seems pretty friendly from what I've seen, or at the very least cordial.

>>93256952
These actually came out exactly one year apart

>>93256976
>tfw while everyone was busy waifuing Surge I was waifuing Wind Dancer

>>93256992
>She's cool, sensible, somewhat regal at times
All things men don't want. Well, young men anyway.

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>>93256989

>>93257023
So Psylocke then?

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>>93257039

>>93256992
Not to a 14 year old boy she isn't.

>>93256992
We're talking nerdy teenage boys here. Storm is as intimidating as a schoolteacher, Kitty's the perfect not-overly-attractive nerdy gf.

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>>93257064
Storm is threatening in her superiority and self-assurance, which is the last thing a 14-year old boy wants

>>93257044
Which Psylocke?

>>93255627
What will we read next OP? I want to read something with old and classical sensibilities because I've been watching Legend of The Galactic Heroes and westerns non stop and old and classic has become my blood.

What's P thread. Working nights sucks.

Wanna get a post in about JrJr Outsiders in The Forge. Holy crap it was great. Looker in a comic in 2017!!!

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>>93257090
Kitty is the girl who you can convince yourself exists in order to be delightful to you without the annoyance of her own wants/needs/inner life

FWIW, the female reverse version of this is Edward from Twilight

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>>93257093
The good one, of course

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>>93257107
ummm, I was thinking Milliganwatch for the trolling, but I'm kind of open and I'm off until Monday

"we should read this" pitches that come with downloads are prioritized

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>>93257135

>>93256775
>waifuing a nigger
What is wrong with you?

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>>93257155
LOLOLOL

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>>93257170
--->/pol/

>>93257135
http://www.mediafire.com/EssentialCapeshit

Most of the stuff found here I would be fine with.

>>93257116
I don't like Kitty all that much, but she doesn't deserve to be compared to Edward.

>>93257023
>>93257070
>>93257090
I dunno, even at 14, I was always more drawn to Storm. Maybe I'm just weird and into older women.

>>93257080
It might be worth noting that I had a mild crush on my homeroom teacher in middle school. In hindsight, she looked exactly like the stereotypical hot teacher image. Kind of uncanny, really.

>>93257090
Indeed, but I don't think Kitty is also what a 14-years old wants to.

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>>93257209

>>93257135
Have you storytimed Starlin's Adam Warlock?

>>93257170
Calm down dude, he's not waifuing you.

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>>93257236
I have not

>>93257135
Milligan's Authority.

>>93256033
Oh like you have room to talk Mr I Could Discuss Things Calmly If I Wanted But Nobody Responds When I Do So I Just Sound Angry As Fuck All The Time To Guarantee Replies.

>>93257211
Do Squadron Supreme!

>>93257211
So Mr. A it is!

>>93257253
Do it. I'll link you whenever you want.

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>>93257280
Oh shit, that's a good idea, actually. it's not too long, and it's classic

>>93257270
I'm not Cranky, you stupid gimmicky dumbfuck.

>>93257090
When I was 14 years old I wanted to fuck a fucking cover girl with huge tits and ass like Psylocke but instead I got a girl who was well not like Kitty but she wasn't my average school partner either.

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>>93257297
This is hilarious

Also, kind of reminds me of the Heinlein solution PAD wrote for Longshot and Shatterstar

>>93257297
It's also the original Injustice

>>93257211
>Miracleman
>deconstruction
I want this meme to end.

>>93257080
Storm is a nudist though, don't the kids love that kind of thing?

>>93257333
trips confirm

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>>93257325

>>93257333
They'll look, but they'll run screaming if she walks towards them.

>>93256040
Surprisingly not terrible. Aside from the fact that it's all framed as him trying to come up with his About Me on a gay singles site and discomfort about the topic of a girlfriend with his parents, sexuality took a backseat to just introducing us to Bobby as a person. Compared to my expectations it's as serviceable as the Tean book. I'd say... 6/10 would not mock friends for buying it.

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>>93257347

>>93257353
Subtle

>>93257135
Random shit I can provide dl for:

>Xombi
>Zenith
>Alan Grant's Outcasts
>Kyle Baker Shadow
>80's Warlord
>Tony Isabella Black Lightning
>Roger Stern Starman
>Priest's Unknown Soldier

This is me literally rattling shit off at random from my collection.

>>93257353
Just like Secret Empire.

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>>93257365
and now, of course, Casablanca

>>93257297
Wait, have we not read that already?

I feel like it was in this thread that I originally read it.

>>93257270
See, that seems like a good idea at first, but them you slowly become the villain, you start to mutate into the very kind of bullshitting asshat you despise, that made you lash out in the first place. And once you become that, you say shit that you regret, and then people really will refuse to respond to you because it's pretty easy to recognize speech patterns, and they want nothing to do with you because you're officially that guy.

>>93257302
See? I'm still considered the resident jerk of these threads. Don't be the next me, Sugartits. Being that guy fucking sucks.

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>>93257389
we read Warlord way back, but pre-Jack Knight Starman would also be itneresting

I think SS will be next because it's limited and I think I can do it in three days, it's 12 issues, right?

>>93257389
>Zenith
Would be down for this.

>>93256072
These symbols are in a different "font" than what he's spoken with in the past and almost none of them match up to the Doop translator. It was like that for issue 2 as well, which is probably why only the first has a full translation online.

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>>93257430
THE END

THANKS FOR READING

Squadron Supreme begins Monday night

>>93257455
Thanks for the storytime anon.

>>93257430
Yeah, 12 issues.

Starman is 45 so I'll start uploading now.

>>93257430
>it's 12 issues, right?
Yep.

>>93257455
Coolio, looking forward to Gru's DC fanfiction.

I might storytime some Avengers Squandron Sinister over the weekend now

>>93257389

If we read a member of the Outsiders I'm /r/ing Silver Age Metamorpho

>>93257455
Thanks for posting as always, Storyteller.

All I know about Squadron Supreme is that they're Marvel's not-Justice League, and that there are way too fucking many Hyperions, and most of them are evil. So that should be interesting, to actually learn more than surface level stuff.

>>93256108
I haven't read BotA. Do the times he takes people correspond to moments in that when they're not shown on-page, or are those scenes effectively paused while stuff is happening in Doopspace? So far as I can tell this doesn't really relate to him fixing anything from the event aside from whatever he was doing on the Blackbird before Tyke and Tean took it.

>>93257455
Thanks again OP

Starman:
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/gnjey3kpvex8tnj/AABhKUMgqhGcRkDwAn4g3trua?dl=0

>>93256363
May-December romances were a mistake.

>>93255627
Completely missed storytime for like the third day in a row.

Still need to read yesterdays.

Truth be told, even reading this whole saga still hasn't turned me around on X-Forstatix, which I think just isn't for me.

>>93255800
DC will stop doing it when Batman stops being their best selling character and the best selling comic franchise.

The guy who does the bookstore sales every year says this
>It’s probably no real surprise that Batman continues to be DC’s most lucrative property, with 54 of their 100 placing titles being Batman or Batman-related (“Nightwing,” “Batgirl,” et al), totaling over 562K copies sold, larger than many publishers just with a single family.
2015
>Batman is DC’s most lucrative property, quelle surprise – a staggering forty-seven of the ninety-eight DC branded books are either directly Batman, or a member of his extended “family” (“Nightwing”, “Batgirl”, and so on), and account for 599k of DC’s sales.
2016

>>93259165
One could easily argue that saturation is a significant factor in this phenomenon. Not exactly a stretch to say that Batman sells because Batman gets the bulk of promotion and a wider variety of products.

>>93256775
>How come nobody waifus Ororo?
Plenty of people waifu Ororo, it's just an amusing number of them are villains.

>>93257401

> "Stinky meat engagement ring" rejection ???
> an eating out at the hairy bodypart place reference ???
> ( IT'S METAPHORICAL! )

So this means Doop knows that Pryde is a lesbian, right?

>>93259912
Yukio<34FR!

X-bump

>>93261450
this

>>93255800
The book was pitched as "being totally crazy, like Batman is wielding an axe" m8.

That said I agree in principle and I really liked the Outsiders we read because it's like Batman getting his own team to be edgy and lonerish with him and not play with his friends, and they all turn out to be goofy and friendly and tell Bruce to fuck off because they're a little superhero family.

>>93255997
>>93256072
Dark Souls 1 is the easiest of the games to play defensively without needing to have good timing. 2 and 3 encourage more pro-active, which means riskier, gameplay. There's also Bloodborne which is very good but again really encourages you to be aggressive which makes timing and combos and interrupts more important.

Anon's >>93256052 Castlevania comparison is pretty apt though, the Souls series are basically 3D Metroidvanias.

>>93256204
Look @ me coming in late to talk about videogames, but I found walking places to be very pleasant in Dragon's Dogma and if you enjoy going about killing shit in TES you might like it.

There's an expansion which is basically one huge dungeoncrawl.

The game is actually harder than Dark Souls at the start IMO but the power/class progression is amazingly satisfying.

>>93262565

The shit about how "Batman needed a team to work OUTSIDE the normal parameters" had me howling

we should go back to read more of that (assuming alan davis or someone good was on it still)