Do you have a Squilliam in your life, /co/?

I don't know, do you?

My brother, I guess. We get along and I'm okay with my inferiority.

>>93099943
Yeah, its me. I make more money than any of my high school friends ( I hung out with degenerates, I'm only mildly successful),
I'm the only one that has worked on my art so I don't forget how to do it, and I am still petty enough to be
a light douche about it sometimes.

Literally everyone I know is my Squilliam

>>93099943
My cousin who is a week older than me and my dad loves to death and wishes he was his son instead of me
He even looks more like my dad than I do

>>93100371
Anon, I'd get a DNA test done just in case.

>>93099943
andrew hussie

Squilliam would be a even better character if he was Squidward's twin brother and they made a family reunion episode that no one gives a fuck about Squidward and the whole family just keeps flattering Squilliam.

my cousin.

it doesn't help that relatives say she looks like a prettier version of me

>>93100389
Honestly my dad and my aunt are so codependent is creepy but it makes sense since they are the only ones who can stand each other
Maybe my cousin travels the world and gets invited to parties with the rich and famous, fucks hot girls and is a head taller than me but I'm not jealous, I'm glad he is doing fine
I do hate my dad to death tho, j keep hoping each new wine bottle is the last

>>93099943

Well E3 is tomorrow so

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>>93099943
>never interacted with cousins
>only child so no siblings to compare too
>parents still arent proud

I dont want to be an engineer or a lawyer or a doctor. Schooling for 8+ years and then working a long and stressful job sounds like shit, i dont give a fuck about the money i just want to be happy and living alone in my apartment working a shitty job that pays just enough for food, rent and amenities is all i need.

>>93099943
I am Squilliam and I sometime like making my old friends from HS feel like shit.

>>93100329

This. Social media has filled my life with images of people I've met achieving things I can only dream of. I doubt that I will ever feel fulfilled regarding the choices I've made with my life.

>>93100674
Are you me?

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>be a boring ugly fag
>get bullied often when I was very young
>avoid having friends and develop obscure interests
>research a lot of sociology, anthropology and politics
>become a reptilian basement fedora lord who observes and studies people
>eventually I'm forced to deal with people because its impossible not to
>use my autist knowledge of human habits in everyday conversation to "win" them
>practice orating in the mirror to be as 'optimal' as possible according to my research
>work out and buy clothes to appear as appealing as possible
>people respond positively to all of my practices because they are statistically bound to
>the only people who seem to see through me are fellow autists but nobody ever listens to them
>one time we befriended a psychiatrist college student and she found me out so I sabotaged her car
>end up with a large circle of friends, a well-paying job and rotation of girlfriends
>everyone who regularly speaks to me is an idiot educated on absolutely nothing
>only speak or hang out with them in settings where I can't be under intense scrutiny
>people think I'm a Squilliam but I'm actually just a phony wearing a mask

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>>93100849

You aren't Squilliam, you're Patrick.

>>93100371
>>93099943
My best friend, because he is hot while weaing underwear

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>>93100507
Then I guess you do have an advantage over your cousin after all. You might be shorter, poorer and less popular than he is, but at least you're not an inbred bastard.

>>93099943
I don't, but I probably will once I finish my master's and get into the workforce.
I look forward to it and think it'll make my life more interesting

>>93100803
With that attitude I wonder why

All of my 25 cousins
Specially you Gabriel, you fuck.

>>93100849
You faked it till you made it. I'm not seeing much autism here(aside from you picking apart your own actions), friend. You're fine

>>93100963
Do you...do you want to fuck him anon?

>>93102687
See, I'm even jealous of you for having the blind self-aggrandizement necessary to criticize a fellow poster's feelings of insecurity on a Polynesian leather-working messageboard.

my cousin 2 mos younger taller pretty female version of me who always got into things i did only.....just more basic. even some of the more delinquent things in my life she ended up with more "respected peers".

>>93102814
Dude, just shut the fuck up and grow a pair, okay? Your life will never get better if you don't put effort into it yourself.

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>>93100849
>one time we befriended a psychiatrist college student
>we

My sister.

>>93102756
Maybe, he has a cute dick

>>93102863

True enough, but no matter what I do, won't there always be someone younger and more handsome? Someone wealthier, or more talented, or more creative? I love my girlfriend, but if I put a ring on her finger, there go my chances of seducing some unconscionably beautiful foreign heiress, or even some strange tail at the local bar.

If I just put some effort into it, can I stop dreaming of a better life than the one I ended up with?

>>93103211
Well, you won't know until you get there, will you? Also, if you really do love your girlfriend, you could "seduce" the queen of fucking Venus, and you still wouldn't leave your girl for her.

>>93100474
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

>>93100409
Stop working on Squirrel Girl.

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>mfw I'm STILL the Squilliam to my grade school rival
This is unironically the best feeling, probably better than actual love. I'm not even that well off, he's probably far more successful than me at least financially, I just have an inexplicably wider volume of talents and manage to win people over with seemingly only the bare minimum of effort, when initially we were both the awkward/unpopular kids who were always trying to mutually put each other down to look good enough to make friends with the more socially competent kids.

>>93103125
Do it, Anon. And by it, I mean him.

>>93102863
>Look ma, I posted it again!

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My younger brother.

>>93099943
I HAD one, there was someone I knew on this small forum of friends from elsewhere on the web back when that was very similar to me. Literally everything I did was largely ignored by the 20-30 people that went there, but whenever they did something incredibly similar, they got nothing but praise.

Picture trying your absolute best only to be ignored, and then have someone do exactly what you do and get loved for it.

>>93099943
Yeah, my cousin who got into the school I wanted to go and is going into the career field I wanted to.
But honestly, I'm happy for her success and wish the best of luck.

>>93100849
>studied the normies so much you could successfully infiltrate them and be liked by them
Teach me your ways

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>>93103211
>having a gf who you love
>still compains about her not being attractive enough

HAHAHAHAHA
GET THE FUCK OUT