ITT: we post like we're in the DCEU

I fucking hate humans, why can't I go back to krypton, fuck I hate saving people, I wish people would leave me alone.

>>92896775
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Not sure, but we should really be covering important issues like him, not sports. He's a menace and throws centuries of law into the garbage! He hurts innocent people and the police are too afraid to do anything.

That Superman guy is great though. I feel safe when he's in the sky!

The horses screamed and they died Clarke, that taught me nothing and I'm still upset about it as a ghost. Also, thanks for letting me die instead of saving me.

Turns out, this dude had the same mother as I do! Isn't that funny!

We're best buds now, and kind of upset he died.

>>92897163
>Turns out, this dude had the same mother as I do!
Kek

Hello
I am well
Thank you

How about you?

>>92896875
You sound like a dweeb. I want more stories about sports.

>Luthor offers a guy Cherry instead of Blue
Did that seriously not raise any red flags?

Hello, this is Bill Wintergreen. Looking for my old MI6 buddy Alfred.

>>92896775
thank god you dont have superpowers, unlike that superman fella who saved a buddy of mine and didnt even ask for a thanks. What a swell guy.

Sucks he died saving the world though... :(

>>92897163
woah, you found out you had a twin brother?

>>92897119
>>92897163
>hurr durr misrepresenting the movie to be so funny!!!!

I'm pretty sure Clark Kent is Batman

>>92897975
I'm pretty sure Batman isn't real. Its something the Gotham police force made up for their blatant mistreatment of criminals and police brutality.

>>92897975
>broke ass literally who reporter
>batman has all those amazing gadgets

are you retarded

>>92897970
Turns out it wasn't the same mother, bummer, thought she might have survived. Same name though lol!

Starting a Justice League now so I can bang this Amazonian bitch. We've been exchanging several emails and it's going good so far!

Also, think the Joker's gone crazy, he got a bunch of tatoos and looks like an idiot now. LOL! What a doofus!

>>92896875
why are you imitating a dead reporter? poor taste m8....

>>92896729
Did you anons see that giant blue portal in the sky the other night? Word on /x/ is that the government has some sort of "suicide squad" that was involved in it.

Luther did nothing wrong

My dad works at Arkham, apparently no one is allowed to kill a "highly valued patient" like Joker, but the other guys, the street thugs and petty mental cases are open game. Anyone else find this kind of fucked up? I hear it's because Batman.

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>First the Alien
>then the Man-Bat
>been hearing about a red blur in Central City
>creepy israeli looking chick who never ages
>now there's a guy who talks to fish
What's next? Are they all gonna team up to make some kind of League of Justice?

>>92898140
Why won't the Bat let anyone kill Joker?

>>92896729
He /co/, what do you guys have planned for the weekend?

I was gonna go camping with my dad, but then he got flattened by a building during a superhero brawl. The funeral was supposed to be Tuesday, but our pastor was vaporized by a stray laser eye blast during another superhero brawl. Speaking of, there's another one going on down the street. Hopefully they'll avoid my apartment compl---

>>92898145
Don't forget about the Tin-man.
That guy is CHROMED to the max.

Decided to stop killing people, turns out that is against the one rule I had written down at the beginning of my journal! LOL OOPS!

I should call Dick see what he's up to. Prob still hates me for being such a cunt to him after Jason died. I'll probably just send him an email. I can't invite him into the Justice League though because he'll probably try to bang Diana and that bitch is mine.

>>92897188
Who the fuck are you? I was too busy getting laid

>>92898204
Seriously, what's up with that guy? Didn't he have a little kid dressed in spandex with him? What happened to that?

>>92898051
>Turns out it wasn't the same mother, bummer, thought she might have survived. Same name though lol!


you retard, when he says her name it makes Batman choke Superman HARDER. Good job just being flat out wrong though. Its Lois that comes and demonstrates Superman's humanity and kicks of Batman's Hamlet moment.

Anyone ever notice how every time that red-haired woman is in danger, Superman is never far behind?

Whatever happened to Robin? Haven't been any sightings in ages.

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Anyone from Gotham?

I was smoking weed on my fire escape and this fucking monster ran up to me, punch out out if my hands and said "Marijuana hasn't been legalized in Gotham. Don't break the law." Before flying away.

Someone explain what the fuck happened???

>>92898497
I heard that clown chick fucked him to death while he bf watched and jerked off.

>>92898497
I heard Joker and his girlfriend killed him.

That's just a rumor though.

That Harley girl from Gotham's quite the piece of ass

>>92898556

You should move to Central City. I was smoking weed hear and needed to respark my spliff. Damn lighter ran out and then this blue lightning flashed by me and told me the truth is in Rick & Morty before disappearing.

You don't think he's talking about the multiverse in Rick & Morty do you?

>>92898805
I heard she got her degree with an oral test.

>>92898563
With all the other stories I hear, that wouldn't really wouldn't be out of his wheelhouse.

>>92898705
Really? How the fuck do you think she pulled that off?

>>92898982
Erase the second "wouldn't". I've been drinking.

Also has anyone heard about the guy/thing in Keystone? Living lightning. Fuck that noise.

>>92898436
>Getting triggered over some friendly banter

>>92898982
She probably used her BAT

>>92899509
Yeah, everything I've said about Harley in this thread was sexual and I can't think of non-sexual replies to that either.

>>92898145
I've even heard rumors about a green light in the sky and some guy in a trenchcoat whose actually an alien. Of course, these are just rumors, and we probably won't hear about it anytime soon.

It's almost like we live in a film adaptation of a comic book universe and the higher-ups decided to not include some of their most famous characters for a while because the former's first attempt at a film failed miserably and the writer just thinks the latter character is lame. At least that's the best way I can put it. Doesn't make that much sense to me either.

>>92898107
/x/ are horrible shitposters.
Next thing you'll say is that you believe the rumors of mermen.

Boy my universe sucks shit, I wish the gods weren't such retards. It feels like maybe a quarter of the shit they do isn't downright rotten. I've heard there's another dimension where virtually everything the gods do is certified fresh.

>>92896729
I don't know, man. I think he wears a costume. Word on the street is he's tryna undertake Supes and overthrow his dictatorship. Keep the word short, tho. You know he's got ears all over...

Moving to Coast City next week!!!!! Bye Bye Metropolis!!!!

Now theres a calm, relaxing and welcoming city where NOTHING blows up!

Can't wait!

Ok guys, I have an idea.

We must kill the Batman. How should we go about it?

>>92898436
BvS sucked

>>92901458
Lets wait him out.
He'll die of old age.

>>92901458
Gotham anon here
Don't fucking kill batman you fucking moron

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>walking down the street at night
>sketchy looking alley
>"?" Spray painted with glow in the dark paint
Anyone else seeing these? Gotham btw

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http://www.strawpoll.me/13093127

>>92901968
Don't worry about it
Probably more gangs
If your really that worried just carry around a gun or something

Just found out that my brother is law who works as a security guard for Lex Corp was killed by the Batman. But apparently he's real sorry now so I guess it's ok.

>>92901606
>tfw when you get a private invite to Jokers club.
He killed a guy for looking at Harley. Would fuck her badly though.

>>92896729
>post like we're in the DCEU

Hey drink my piss and oh yeah I want to murder you

Why does a faceless man that run so many conspiracy theory websites? That all claim Bruce Wayne is batman and the superman is in hibernation.