Why are Kelly's comics so funny?

how dare innocent pizza lovers give pizza restaurants feedback

>>92628462
Because he makes the biggest possible deal about incredibly minor things.

Also because his views are wildly inconsistent.

File: IMG_9030.jpg (94KB, 700x714px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 700x714px

>>92628462
I like pineapple on pizza, fight me.

File: pineapple pizza.jpg (41KB, 749x512px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 749x512px

>>92628540

File: images.jpg (21KB, 443x332px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 443x332px

>>92628540
I like whipped cream on mine.

File: tfw moving back to the city.png (742KB, 913x831px) Image search: [Google]

742KB, 913x831px

>>92628540
There are some things you need to keep to yourself, even on an anonymous message board.

>>92628540
>putting fruit on a pizza

>>92628661

Pineapples are berries. Tomatoes are fruits.

>>92628681

How wrong can one man be? First, a tomato is a berry, second a berry is a type of fruit, and third, a pineapple is a multiple fruit made up of a bunch of berries

>>92628595
>>92628646
>>92628661
kill yourselves

>>92628540
I bet you like skub too faggot

File: 1491412138748.png (355KB, 800x560px) Image search: [Google]

355KB, 800x560px

Kelly's like the antithesis to ben garrison

>>92628661
Its fruity tanginess complements the salt and texture of pepperonis, the juiciness of the tomato sauce, and rich thickness of the mozzarella.

This is why any pizza with one or three and more toppings are shit while pizzas with two toppings or none are God's greatest gift.

>>92628681
the food pyramid says otherwise. you calling the government a liar?

I WILL NOT HAVE THIS COUNTRY'S GOOD NAME DRAGGED THROUGH THE MUD!

File: 1476095465831.png (937KB, 1400x980px) Image search: [Google]

937KB, 1400x980px

[clapping noises]

>>92628874
>/v/ has an ass thread.png

>>92628799
there is a big difference between the country and the government

File: 1-31-17.jpg (231KB, 1200x840px) Image search: [Google]

231KB, 1200x840px

>>92628540
Sickos like you make me sick.

>>92628776
>overcame
Every fucking time.

File: wut.jpg (25KB, 488x626px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 488x626px

I remember reading the print version of the Onion and these comics just annoyed and confused me so much. then I started to wonder if that was the point (it's the Onion after all). If it is I still don't understand what he's getting at.

File: 1489033976223.jpg (60KB, 527x681px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 527x681px

>>92628540
We shall keep the flame alive, brother.

File: 170518783046.jpg (43KB, 555x319px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 555x319px

>>92628540

File: 1452825834234.png (564KB, 960x672px) Image search: [Google]

564KB, 960x672px

>>92628776

>>92628826
>Best of everything
>Kelly garbage on the counter

Nope.

They're always correct

>>92629472
It's a parody of genuine political cartoons (of a conservative bent, since this is The Onion after all).

The joke, besides the overdose of political cartoon gimmicks like labels everywhere and crying Lady Liberty, is that Kelly the character thinks of virtually everything as some kind of grand culture war between Good (made of honest, hard-working, red-blooded Americans) and Evil (made of suspicious foreigners, naive hippies, the tyrannical bureaucracy, them kids today and their gadgets, etc...), even completely petty issues that he's obviously taking from his own life for the sake of self-aggrandizement.

File: 1308920189858.jpg (68KB, 396x374px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 396x374px

>>92628540
REMINDER THAT THE FUCKING LEAFS INVENTED THE 'HAWAIIAN PIZZA' I don't mind pineapples the faggots that wants sardines on pizza are more fucked up

>>92628540
>people always pretend to be mad over this
>nobody gives the japanese shit for putting corn or mayonnaise or natto on pizza
Whose side are they really on?

>>92628462
>order dominoes from closest location, only takes like two streets to get here in less than 5 minutes
>45 minutes later where the fuck is my pizza
>call them
>some fucking middle eastern middle age sounding pap smear starts babbling real fast and in an extremely thick accent
>"I am very very sorry you wait long driver is on way but lost please wait for him please come again"
>another 10 minutes later it finally arrives
>it's the wrong fucking pizza AND the wrong size
You know the worst thing is that they don't even do 30 minutes or it's free anymore, and when I went to complain I had to get on phone with a corporate higher up because they're manager didn't know how to give my fucking money back.
Papa Johns is the same shit over here, except instead they charge extra money for what should be the deal price advertised in the papers. Now I only order from Roundtable.

File: Reaction 1430.jpg (10KB, 126x97px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 126x97px

>>92630012
The thai are worse. Some pizzas has thousand island dressing instead of tomato sauce.

>>92630012
Japanese are the Brits of Asia, being stuck on an island does things to your tastebuds.

>>92628595
Beautiful, intelligent, and underage. Literal perfection.

>>92628874
This one is accurate though

File: fucking knew it tails gets trolled.jpg (47KB, 501x308px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 501x308px

>>92629472
There's always one guy in every thread.

>>92630065

I really doubt she's underage, that pic is years old. But yeah, perfect

>>92629952
Sardines?!

Anchovie master race!

>>92630012
I used to put furikake on my plain cheese pizza. It was pretty good.

>>92628776
Kelly is just pretending,"Look at my memes,am i cool yet ?"Garisson is JUST

>>92630055
Huh, that sounds... interesting?

>>92628776
>clarence thomas

every time

>>92630046
>only takes like two streets to get here in less than 5 minutes
Just walk there then?

>>92628540
>>>/reddit/

>>92628540
Excellent facebook meme mom.

>>92628540
Of course you would, you're a rat.

>>92629878
XCom meme?

>>92629427
>(Maybe ISIS??)
I don't know why he was complaining, I still can't distinguish between his drawings and the edits.

>>92628540
I do to
>>92628595
>Picky about she eats
>Saying others are weak and wont survive
If there is any kind of food you cant eat on pizza you are a child

>>92628792
3 toppings can work out, but it depends on the toppings. Typically they're vegetarian pizzas of some sort, where you got 2 veg+ onions or something of that sort.

>>92628540
It's okay in certain combinations and the meme coming from that stupid dyed-hair-bitch's grad quote is a cancer upon this earth. I'm so sick of hearing about it

t. worked in a pizza shop for the last five years

>>92630046
>Now I only order from Roundtable
such a shame that you had to resort to this

>>92628885
Holy shit 10/10
Thank you Kelly

>>92628462
because they're genuinely right, even if it wasn't the original intention

File: IMG_2670.png (244KB, 960x672px) Image search: [Google]

244KB, 960x672px

>>92634593
AU sectiod Kelly is best Kelly

File: IMG_2671.png (259KB, 960x672px) Image search: [Google]

259KB, 960x672px

>>92636314

>>92636147
He's a leftist idiot who can't conceive that opinions other than his own might have some validity.

When leftists are presented with a truth that they can't emotionally accept, they dismiss it as simply ridiculous and a valid target for ridicule. The problem with Kelly is that sometimes his ridicule is too subtle and actually supports the truth he's trying to dismiss.

Mostly though, his stuff is just amusingly petty.

>>92630012
Japs put cum on their pizza?

>>92637358

I like how he calls out the store specifically with their address

>>92637529

Pussy riot is a band, there isn't any nudity.

>>92630012
>implying corn, peas, canned tuna (water, not oil you fatass) and egg isn't a god tier combo

I'll agree that neither of the other things should ever be allowed on pizza, but Nip mayo is not your standard mayo. Look up Kewpie Mayo if you want to know more. Natto sounds vile from the desciption, but so does a lot of other shit that's considered delicacies in their respective countries. Balut or surströmming for example.

>>92637684
Who said anything about Pussy Riot? The comic's just about Russian porn.

>>92628540
Pepperoni is fucking disgusting

>>92628792
>3+ a shit
lolno

Mandolin sliced pear, gorgonzola and fresh walnuts is fucking amazing.

>>92637685

/a/ BTFO

File: 1355755655975.jpg (994KB, 675x3644px) Image search: [Google]

994KB, 675x3644px

>>92636333
>dat snek liberty
oh-my-extended-version.webm

>>92637202
This. The Onion has become a total liberal rag. Their new Trump "leak" is a pathetic attempt at comedy.

>>92629427
No lady liberty?

>>92638336
Wow someone missed the point. I think you are mixing him up with the cartoonists he parodies. Anyway fucking hilarious.

>>92638336
>Being so fucking mad that people are still allowed to make fun of things you vaguely agree with that you have to pretend to be one of those people having a complete shitfit to get some form of validation

How many layers of autism does this have?

>>92638308
Shut the fuck up you conservative scum. You think you can live a life of hatred and deceit and that bill won't come due? Oh it fucking will buddy, you don't get to be cruel and hateful and not pay for it later. mark my fucking words bitch.

>>92633170
>Picking up your pizza
What are you, poor?

>>92628540
I put corn and palmetto in mine

>>92638397
>buys pizza from dominoes and round table
>calls others poor

File: IMG_2159.png (78KB, 191x240px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 191x240px

>>92638395
>Shut the fuck up you conservative scum. You think you can live a life of hatred and deceit and that bill won't come due? Oh it fucking will buddy, you don't get to be cruel and hateful and not pay for it later. mark my fucking words bitch.
If you were aiming to make me laugh you succeeded.

>>92638395
is this pasta?

File: 647aa663-3cbd-42b6-bbbe-4af72eacd68b..gif (4MB, 500x640px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 500x640px

>>92628540
ur
ugly

>>92636314
Why do the pilgrims look hollow?

>>92638862
they're friendly neighborhood Ayyliens

>>92628874
I feel for this. I love/hate the trend of tight pants becasue ass is euphoric but I barely get any as is and now my sexual frustration has hit a peak.

File: IMG_9024.jpg (31KB, 640x433px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 640x433px

>>92628540
Disgusting

File: 1469699896723.png (112KB, 523x433px) Image search: [Google]

112KB, 523x433px

>>92628540
>mfw people get mad that I enjoy god-tier pizza

>>92638311
He doesn't put lady liberty in any comic dealing with death or the afterlife.

>>92637685
>Orientals
I love how he can throw in casual racism and it doesn't get censored because it's ironic.

File: 1470750601218.jpg (26KB, 275x249px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 275x249px

>>92639260
best pizza has pineapple, pepperoni and jalapenos as toppings - that way it tastes a bit sweet, a bit savory and a bit spicy.

>>92629542
200 roubles is only about $3 you could probably buy the whole board for $200