The Star Thread

>>92429341
>When you get cucked by God.
A classic.

>>92429360
I knew this was coming.

Joseph got a raw deal.

He didn't even get Sainted, or anything.

Didn't he also die before Jesus's ministry?

My headcanon had Jo as much older, and thats why he wasn't around for the Crucifixion. He died in the time skip in Jesus' life.

>>92429403
He's a saint in Catholic and Orthodox churches

>>92429341
No, I need porn of movie Mary, stat

>>92429341
At least someone finally realized they wouldn't be Caucasian.

>>92429341
For some reason I read STAR WARS, the art design kind of looks like Rebels.

>>92429403
>>92429435 is correct
And yea Joseph was like twice Mary's age. That doesn't bode well for surviving 30 more years.

File: 1467369496861.jpg (63KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 500x500px

Is /co/ a christian board?

File: gallery-1450102902-screen-shot-2015-12-14-at-91810-am.png (1MB, 768x1005px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 768x1005px

>>92429341
>Historical Skin tone accuracy.
Nice. But Joseph should be a lot older.

>>92429403

There was some filler material around the time skip where Jesus and Joseph get drivers licences.

>>92429487
Considering what you degenerates usually say and do, My guess is no.

>>92429529
Unless you are into SM stuff, then probably they went to a catholic school.

>>92429516
You mean that retconed Infancy Gospel.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infancy_Gospel_of_Thomas
With these non-cannon Miracles he did as a boy.
>Breathes life into birds fashioned from clay, curses a boy, who then becomes a corpse, curses a boy who falls dead and his parents become blind
>Reverses his earlier acts, resurrects a friend who fell from a roof, heals a man who chopped his foot with an axe.
>Carries water on cloth, produces a feast from a single grain, stretches a beam of wood to help his father finish constructing a bed
>Heals James from snake poison, resurrects a child who died of illness, resurrects a man who died in a construction accident

>>92429579
>Young Jesus is as much a shit as any other little kid

File: Doc Frankenstien 06 14.jpg (792KB, 1280x2001px) Image search: [Google]

792KB, 1280x2001px

>>92429341
Are you still a Cuckhold if God fucked your wife?
and if God is the Father of all, is it incest?

>>92429341
Two things. 1) Nice to see they realized that Mary and Joseph weren't white. 2) I don't give a shit if this is blasphemous or whatever, Mary is a cutie. Damn reproductive instinct making pregnant women seem sexy.

>>92429448
But they are Caucasian they're just not white

Hopefully seeing this will make white christians realise they abandoned their own cultural heritage for a literal desert religion.

File: 1280px-Bible_and_Lord's_Cup_and_Bread.jpg (167KB, 1280x978px) Image search: [Google]

167KB, 1280x978px

>>92429487
Yes, as are /lit/, /his/, ~/pol/~, /bant/, /int/

File: Noah.jpg (50KB, 270x500px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 270x500px

>>92430416
No, we whites are descended from Japheth, son of Noah. This heritage is far older than European paganism.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+9%3A18-28&version=NIV

>>92429403
>bible headcanon
wew

>>92430633
It matches tradition

Well, ok

>>92430613
That doesn't change the fact that you literally worship a god who plays favourites with a tribe you don't even belong to.

>>92430778
You should concern yourself with finding truth, not with finding offense.
Salvation through Christ was promised to all people.
Israel is God's chosen people but chosen for what? Chosen to be the avenue to bring the Messiah into the world.
God made promises to Noah, Abraham, David, to the lost tribes, Egypt, Babylon, and all peoples. He will keep them all.

The fact remains that the resurrection of Jesus is one of, if not the most well documented events in ancient history. Yet, you're gonna sit there complaining about his nationality as if every race has a different truth that applies only to them.

>>92429341
Mary looks a bit too old and Joseph is absolutely way too young.

>>92429341
tbqhwyf I think that Mary looks the wrong age. She doesn't look fourteen, and joseph is generally believed to have been an older man.

>>92430633
>Mormonism
>Jehova's witness
>7th day adventism

>>92431045

>The fact remains that the resurrection of Jesus is one of, if not the most well documented events in ancient history.

Wait is it? What texts other than the bible (or what would be know as the bible) from that age talk about it?

>>92430532

>~/pol/~
>a board that follows the book that says "love thy neighbor as thyself" and "turn the other cheek"

Maybe they pay lip-service.

>>92431045

>The fact remains that the resurrection of Jesus is one of, if not the most well documented events in ancient history.

That's wrong though. Jesus's existence is well documented, but his resurrection is more than likely made up.

>>92429487
There's a thread of worshipping of young boy who looks like naked little girl so /co/ must be Catholic priests

>>92429516
I understood that reference.

File: 1477975727738.jpg (115KB, 843x896px) Image search: [Google]

115KB, 843x896px

>>92431902
/pol/ just follows the variation of its okay to turn the other cheek, but dont be a complete bitch about it. Even Jesus knew when to take out the whip and chase out the merchants from the temple.

>>92431902
Just because they hurt your feelings doesn't mean the act was deliberate.

>>92430416
But they cheated, anon. They pay lipservice to Christianity while keeping all of the pagan customs and traditions. They just renamed the shit. Also they pick and choose what parts of the religion they wish to follow.

>>92434163
Jesus would bitchslap Trump, he's the biggest merchant of them all.

>>92429341
wow, can't wait for the inevitable macro foot porn

It's pretty nice to get a Christian themed movie from a major studio. I'm pretty sure we haven't had one since Prince of Egypt.

You think Jesus suffered for your sins?

They're your sins.

Why should Jesus do all the suffering?

>>92429484
Wasn't Mary 14? I can see some people in that time living to see 58.

I hear people get confused about the average lifespan from this time period because factoring in the infant mortality decreases it significantly. Not sure how true that is.

>>92430633
Literally every religion is headcanon

>>92429448
I am pretty sure they are semitic.

>>92429341
Can't wait for Jesus to be born white

>>92429635
>reproductive instinct
The word is "fetish."

>>92431286
>She doesn't look fourteen
Source?

File: akkadian mural.jpg (68KB, 400x267px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 400x267px

I believe that Jesus was killed by the Jews and later resurrected. This is, of course, true.

I do not believe in god, though. God was a lie created by the Jews, long before Jesus ever came along.

The truth lies in the oldest civilization known to man. The Mesopotamian Gods are the only True Ones. They forsake this planet long ago when the Jews corrupted it, and so instructed Jesus to forge a new Faith. A Faith that is not in itself the truth, but a vessel for it. And they planted into this new Faith all their rage and hatred of the Jews.

A time will come when this Filth will be cleansed in the fires of Their Wholeness. At the Climax of this both glorious and terrible event, Jesus shall again walk the Earth in a new form, brinding all the world's rabble under one banner, and the Mesopotamian Gods shall return to an age of prosperity.

>>92429403
>He didn't even get Sainted, or anything.
What are you talking about. Where I'm from we like him so much we put out dozens of altars of bread and grapes and shit every year just for him.

>>92438535
>I believe that Jesus was killed by the Jews and later resurrected. This is, of course, true.
>I do not believe in god, though.
Okay, soo you think Jesus was like a Marvel Mutant or the spearhead of transhumanism or something?

>>92438631
Think of Jesus as the Silver Surfer and the Mesopotamian Gods as a bunch of Galactuses.

File: boniface-abbatant-le-chene-cibsacre-a-donar-musee-vonderau-de-fulda.jpg (58KB, 500x237px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 500x237px

>>92430416
Keep crying /pol/tard

>>92429403
Joseph was 90 years old when Jesus was born, and he did get sainted. He's also the patron of the Catholic Church, and the stepfather of God.

How is this a raw deal again?

>>92438893
>>92431286
>Mary 14
>Joseph 90
Where the fuck do those numbers come from?

>more than half of the planet isn't any form of Christian

How do they expect this shit to make money? It's just awkward ain't it?

>>92435564
Trump didn't desecrate His Temple, though.

Guess who did.

>>92438997
Passion of the Christ was pretty dope.

>>92429341
WE

friendly reminder that even if the people of ancient israel looked like present day palestinians, jesus was explicitly described as being lighter than most of them

Mary's only achievement and virtue was being a fertile young female

>>92432912
Some dude called Joshua was chronicled as preaching around the time.

Newsflash: Joshua was a common as fuck name back then and radical preachers were in vogue.

I do like the theory that Jesus Barabbas was the real radical anti-Roman messiah while the weak, pacifist Jesus who stuck around was the fake one.

>>92430613
That isn't a legitimate genealogy you retard.

File: nl57dec1974.jpg (651KB, 576x761px) Image search: [Google]

651KB, 576x761px

>>92429341
Is this gonna be one of those films that only appear in the Bible belt because it won't get good sales anywhere else?

I prefer if we got a Son-o-God adaptation

>>92438967
The Bible you Philistine

File: nl57dec1974a.jpg (922KB, 640x919px) Image search: [Google]

922KB, 640x919px

>>92440028
Hell I'd prefer I still had that issue around instead of relying on cropped screenshots from some pit of the internet.

>>92439870
Fertile young VIRGIN female.

MRA types should be suitably impressed by that given the usual "women are cuckolding sluts who can have sex whenever they want by snapping their fingers" rhetoric.

File: nl57dec1974b.jpg (624KB, 640x574px) Image search: [Google]

624KB, 640x574px

>>92440059
>Not pictured: 3 pages of Joseph trying to pop the question on Mary, stumbling on his words, and not noticing Jehovah in the form of a goose jumping up Mary's dress and fucking her brains out

File: nl57dec1974c.gif (216KB, 640x417px) Image search: [Google]

216KB, 640x417px

>>92440102
>Not pictured: A whole fucking lot

File: nl57dec1974d.jpg (470KB, 600x465px) Image search: [Google]

470KB, 600x465px

>>92440138
And then one page gets separated into bits for some reason

File: nl57dec1974e.jpg (331KB, 600x327px) Image search: [Google]

331KB, 600x327px

>>92440180
You may say "I should have put it all into one image in paint". Good suggestion. Except I'm lazy and this thread is sure as hell not gonna hit the 150 limit.

File: nl57dec1974f.jpg (285KB, 640x281px) Image search: [Google]

285KB, 640x281px

>>92440213

>God comes down from Heaven just once
>It's to cuck a carpenter

How hot was Mary?

>>92440028
>>92440059
>>92440102
>>92440138
>>92440180
>>92440213
>>92440246

This is the absolutely most brilliant seen I have ever gazed upon!

>>92440355
judging by OP, she was just a fairly young qt, which sounds like what any god would be into.