>Nobody of the hundreds of people that visited the fair knew

>>92391038
>Is it appropriate to read a children's book to children?
Perish the thought.

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>>92391038
Charlotte's Web? Yeah. Don't be that guy anon, and by that guy I mean that oversensitive asshat who over analyzes childrens books trying to protect them but instead further sheltering them thus creating a generation of fucking pussies

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>>92391038
Yeah, children are tougher than you think and Charlotte's Web is a great book..

>>92391223
Post more Amazon

I'm loving Amazons but I never watched Amazon. Show me 80s(?) violence

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>>92391314

>>92391365
That's some nice effects
Amazons is too much CGI. Kamen Rider in general is too much CGI

>>92391038
Children aren't exposed enough to death at a young age.

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>>92391422
Yeah, doesn't help that KR's CGI always looks like shit.

>>92391523
Ok, when I say "CGI", I'm mostly talking about stuff like when they do Rider Kicks with extra particles, or some of the blood in Amazons
not that CGI where they're fighting a spaceship

>>92391038
I don't know dude, our teacher read us Where the Red Fern Grows in 3rd grade and that fucked me up way more than Charlotte's Web.

>>92391389
show?

>>92391986
Amazons I think

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>>92391986
Kamen Rider Amazon, not to be confused with Kamen Rider Amazons, exclusive to Amazon Prime subscribers on amazon.jp, nor with Skyrider, the Kamen Rider of the Kamen Rider series simply known as "Kamen Rider" (itself not to be mistaken with the first Kamen Rider series also titled "Kamen Rider") and mistakenly labeled as Masked Rider Warrior Amazon in Saban's Masked Rider, an adaptation of Kamen Rider Black.

>>92392052
Kamen Rider Amazon
NOT Kamen Rider Amazons

>>92391038

I remember our elementary school teacher reading us an earlier version of Little Red Hood, where the wolf chops the grandma into pieces, pours her blood in wine drums, then tricks the girl to eating her grandmas flesh and drinking her blood.

Oh, and theres no huntsman to rescue her, grandma wolf instructs her to strip naked, throw her clothes in a fire, come to bed with grandma, then the wolf just eats her. The end.

And don't get me started on the Little Match Girl.

>>92391637
Oh, boy, that one hurt. But you know, I'm really glad I read it as a child.

>>92392153
...fuck toku, man. That's some Xorn shit right there.

>>92392217
The original Brothers Grimm stories are pretty much how that Little Red Riding Hood goes. Scaring children is pretty much the best way to teach a lesson.

>>92392217
thats so fucking hot

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This used to be what our teacher read to us. Common storybook for kids in Scandinavia. Apparently Miyazaki's failure of a son is going to butcher it with a 3D-animated movie Ghibli version.

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>>92392391

>>92392346

Brothers Grimm versions are the "tidied up" versions. Just think about that for a second. Although to be fair they mostly censored old stories by replacing evil parents with evil step-parents. Because evil parents would've been too controversial and wouldve taught kids not to respect their parents. But step-mothers are ok because divorce is unchristian anyway.

>>92391038 lol its is children's book well at lest in the schools I went to also my parents were pretty liberal on what I could read or watch fuck I remember watching full metal jacket when I was 8or9

>>92392410
I liked the TV show.

>>92392486
Oh I know they aren't the "grimmest" versions, but they were still pretty dark since each nation/region had their own endings to each story.

>>92392410
Should've just let him be a landscaper...

>>92392153
It was Black RX
With a little hint of ZO and J

>>92391038
... Anon, my third grade class watched Watership Down

>>92391038
My Dad read LOTR to me when I was six. Quit acting like such a fucking oversensitive pussy.

>>92391038
If Simpsons threads on /co/ are anything to go on, then Simpsons fans are weird resentful angry loners.

>all these Riderbros ITT
Too bad /m/ is anti-/co/ for the most part.

>>92391038
Yes, because sheltering children completely from the harsh realities of life is far crueler than gradually preparing them for whatever may come so that they can cope without crumbling.

Sheltering people is what gets you Tumblr.

>Was this appropriate to read to children?

Yes. More kids need to read books like Charlotte's Web.

>>92391038
>Most of /co/ isnt old enough to remember pre 9/11 America.

>>92394624
classic simpsons isn't even that great. wish they'd realize this.

>>92392315
No it isn't and you know it. That's just some nigga trying to make a "LOL HAWKSNARL!!1!" by adding in a bunch of extraneous bullshit to his explanation.

>>92396458
Other way around, honestly. Or did you miss the infuriating mess that was the attempt to storytime Devilman here?

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>one year read Charlotte's Web
>next year was Bridge to Terabithia

They were trying to kill us with feels.

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>>92396777
Oh yeah, Archiekins decided to be a faggot and interrupt the storytime.

>>92392217
>grandma wolf instruct her to strip naked, throw her clothes in a fire, come to bed with grandma, then the wolf just eats her.
I don't know why, but this sounds like a perfect plot for a hentai doujin.
Little red riding hood is a 14-15 years old girl who goes to her grandma's house to deliver food and medicine, in her way she meet "THE WOLF" a very dangerous and handsome criminal wanted for raping and murdering young girls, he tricks little red to take the long way as he go to grandma's house to murder grandma and take her place, when little red go to the house grandma wolf make her eat "that thing" and he comand her to strip herself naked and lay with him in bed, then he reveal himself and grab little red before she could escape and then he rapes her, you know, the wolf eats her in a metaphorical sense.

I can't believe the critics bashed the Charlotte's Web movie. That shit ruled!

I mean the good CW movie, not that Dakota Fanning abomination.

>>92391038
>Lisa acts like a total count towards Homer
>Homes is portrayed as being wrong for this
Fuck this episode

>>92392217

hay man, you gotta teach kids young about rapists.

>>92397898
because he was wrong, do you need someone to walk you through the plot of a comedy cartoon anon?

>>92397898
the early seasons of this show were supreme bullshit. I especially hate the one where homer is afraid of marge seeing him at a burlesque show, yet it never explains what she's doing there herself in the first place.

>>92392441
In all honesty, i have fapped to sicker shit than that.

>>92396819
I was born in the feels, by the time I was a young man Catcher in the Rye was nothing but boring!

>>92391637
>Where the Red Fern Grows
You son of a bitch, I haven't thought about that book in sixteen years.

>>92398014
You kind of do. Maybe not so specifically.

>>92396819
Ever read The Brothers Lionheart?

>Two brothers live in Sweden
>One has bad Asthma and his brother is the only one looking after him
>One day their house burns down and since they live near top floor they have no escape
>Older brother grabs the weaker brother and jumps out of the window
>Older brother dies while breaking the younger brothers fall
>Younger brother dies later of asthma attack
>Thought the story was over? Too bad! This was the first chapter!
>Younger brother wakes up in totally not middle earth where his brother said they would end up upon death
>Finds his older brother
>Happy again
>Not-Middle earth is ruled by not-Sauron who rules with an iron fist
>Brothers join local resistance
>Fight the bad people and get mortally wounded
>"Dont worry bro, we go to super not-middle earth once we die here" says the elder brother before they die again and the book ends

Our version of cinderella had her mother cursed at the start of the tale so she turned into a cow. She secretly helped cinderella until the step mother ordered the cow slaughtered and cooked.

Fun times.

>>92398143
Boy ain't that the truth

>Oh Catcher in the Rye was so controversial!
>All it is is Holden swearing like every kid his age did and contemplating life

People were fucking pussies back in the 50s

>>92391149
>asshat who over analyzes childrens books

You must not come here often

>>92399215
and they are pussies once again

>>92391038
Of course not, anyone under 18 only deserves milk, cookies, nappies while being showered by unwarranted praise.
You're not allowed to read things that upset you.

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>teacher reads Stargirl to us
>then goes out of her way to treat us boys like total assholes because we don't give the "fun, quirky girls a chance"
>I autistically say that none of those girls give me a chance in the first place
>immediately banished to the principal's office

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>>92397240
>little red riding hood themed hentai with humans instead of wolves

i got you covered senpai

>>92399361
>literally the future liberals want

>>92391038
Episode was about lisas weird crush on her jew pedo bf.

>>92399381
you did the right thing

>>92399388
and it's also Street Fighter
nice

>>92399465
Probably the only good Lisa episode

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>>92392217
Who would have thought that Red and Bad wolf would have a 10/10 daughter.

>>92399500
that is an oximoron

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>tfw high school had us read house on mango street, house of the spirits, and perks of being a wallflower

Shit nigger, what are you doing? I swear they were trying to turn us into sexual deviants. I guess I'm here, but those books are still more degenerate than me.

>our (female) teacher prefaced "The Great Gatsby" by saying that F. Scott was a loser who was always talked down by Zelda for being so pathetic and he would regularly run away to Hemingway's hut to get drunk, bask in the Old Man's manly aura, and then drop his pants and ask if his dick really was as small as Zelda laughed at it being
I loved my teacher. Almost boned her in her bathtub, too, but then her husband pulled a gun on me.

>>92399662
You can't just say shit like that and not do a storytime.

>>92398046
>Lisa forces Homer to go to the museum because she wants her teacher's dick
>Horner goes despite not wanting to
>Lisa's substitute tells Homer to get his shit together
>Homer feels bad
>Substitute leaves and this hurts Lisa's feelings because she wants his dick still
>This somehow justifies her being a twat to Homer over dinner
No you stupid piece of shit, Lisa was not justified and Homer was not in the wrong. How dare Homer be ignorant to his daughter wanting to fuck a guy 5 times her age.

>>92399738
but anon, women are ALWAYS in the right

>>92399788
"being a customer to Homer" was funnier.

>>92399714
>teacher is a petite, fit, middle-aged snarky bitch that married a beta, has no children because she wanted the DINKlife, and has several cats and makes her husband's dog stay outside the house even if it's snowing
Interrupting greentext because this woman was deathly intelligent. I'm sure you've met some smart people before, and this woman could cut any path of logic you'd built to pieces. She was a lawyer first, made a shit-ton of cash, invested in properly, then forced her husband to work a steady job while she got to do what she wanted, which was teaching at a college level. She and I would have heated debates despite the discomfort of the class at how passionate we became. I remember her mocking Adam's behavior in Milton's Paradise Lost while I condemned Eve for being a brainless, selfish woman that set the precedent for every woman born afterwards. Anyways,
>AP exams are coming up
>our class is literally shit at English
>makes a challenge that anyone who scores a 5 or 6 on it will be allowed to come to her house and she will make a meal for them
>FUCK YEAH
>I actually don't study like I planned to
>test day comes up, feel like I bombed
>get results almost a month later
>got a 5
>only person in class who got a 5
>literally slammed that paper down on her desk and stared her right in the eyes
>she looks down at it
>she looks up at me
>"Are you fucking kidding me?"
>"I want gumbo."
>"I'm choosing the meal."
>"Wrong, you're making the meal for me."
>argument continues for a solid twenty minutes before the rest of the class tries to break it up
>go to her house about two weeks later
>huge place, see the dog hiding in its wooden shed
>she greets me at the door along with her husband
>"Anon, this is my husband."
>shake his hand and ask, "So, are you the stay-at-home husband, or do you work?"
>he glares at me while she bursts into laughter
>dinner starts
>"This isn't what I asked for," I say as she serves it
>"It's what was on Food Network, so shut up."
cont

>>92399788

>All children's feelings are sexual

Sure, or maybe she just liked attention.

>>92399837
>Lisa's thoughts reveal she's physically attracted to her teacher
>Just the attention
Stop defending this shitty episode

>>92399822
>"I like the Food Network," I say, trying to flow the conversation, "I mainly watch Alton Brown."
>"I figured you'd watch Giada de Laurentiis since she is always showing her cleavage," she adds with spite.
>"Don't be bitter because you're flat," I snipe back, but before she can retaliate her husband begs for us to change the conversation
>he eats in silence while she and I are arguing back and forth on whether or not Mark Twain was a hack
>dinner ends, she wants to introduce me to her cats
>husband meanwhile goes outside to smoke and calm his nerves
>she apparently named all her cats after Biblical angel names (Samael was the retarded one that kept walking into walls)
>"Oh, so this is what it feels like to pet your pussy," I grinned out as I start cuddling one of the furballs
>"Watch your language," she scolds with a smile, trying to take the cat back
>"Oh come on, what's the worst thing that could happen with me playing with your pussy?" I press
>"Are you fucking with me right now?" she asks
>"No, but I would love to fuck you."
>she looks at me
>she looks out into the backyard and sees her husband is on the phone
>"Upstairs. Fast."
>practically sprouted a pair of wings and jolted upstairs
>pulling her shirt off, lifting her up as she wraps her legs around my waist, heading into her bathroom
>didn't realize that they have a fucking open window in their bathroom that looks out into the forest in their backyard
>apparently her husband sees us
>was literally moments from putting my cock in her when the cocking of a shotgun makes us freeze
>husband actually grows a fucking spine for the first time in his life and tells me to get out of his fucking house
>moment ruined
>see her at school a couple of days later on Monday
>we just both look at each other and then awkwardly turn away
>class flows without any heated arguments
>all of the passion we had for each other is gone thanks to our near-death experience
>she wasn't at my graduation ceremony
The End.

>>92391038
Yes. They didn't beat you over the head with it, but death is part of life and children's stories didn't use to shield us from it. Bambi's mom taught us that death is random and can come out if nowhere. Charlotte taught us about sacrificing yourself for your friends, and Old Yeller taught us that to be a man you have to do the right thing, even when it's hard.
>no ma
>he's my dog
>I'll do it

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>>92399916
>Get a 5 in an AP class
>Have that class again next year

You tried really hard I'll give you that but you fucked up the most basic fucking detail

>>92399916
>"Don't be bitter because you're flat," I snipe back, but before she can retaliate her husband begs for us to change the conversation
>>he eats in silence while she and I are arguing back and forth on whether or not Mark Twain was a hack
>>dinner ends, she wants to introduce me to her cats
>>husband meanwhile goes outside to smoke and calm his nerves
>>she apparently named all her cats after Biblical angel names (Samael was the retarded one that kept walking into walls)
>>"Oh, so this is what it feels like to pet your pussy," I grinned out as I start cuddling one of the furballs
>>"Watch your language," she scolds with a smile, trying to take the cat back
>>"Oh come on, what's the worst thing that could happen with me playing with your pussy?" I press
>>"Are you fucking with me right now?" she asks
>>"No, but I would love to fuck you."
Sure anon

>>92392410
Really?
Fuck, all his movies were fucking awful. They looked good, but they were so terrible even the animation couldn't save it.

>>92391038
Why would it not be?

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>mfw I would read ahead to see which pages had swear words so when it came time for me to read I would read until I got to that page.

>>92392217

Actually that version of the tale is not necessarily an unequivocally "older" version, but a weird-ass side variant

>>92403365
heard one of the oldest versions had Red Riding Hood escape the wolf by tying him down to the bed before he can get to eating her
(grandma does not make it)

>>92397898
>>92399788

>lol she wants his dick hahaha everything's about sex

She wanted another father figure because Homer was a boor. At the end she learns to appreciate her father for who he his. The episode isn't entirely on Lisa's side. She has a flaw that's resolved. This is called a character arc.

>>92403846
>everything's about sex
it is

>Was this appropriate to read to children?
Pfff. Would you let your 11 year old daughter read Lolita?
My parents did.

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Didn't the cartoon have Wilbur right there when she died? And wailing with his annoying ChAaaaAaarlotte voice?

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Remember when he came back for a shitty joke in nu-Simpsons and they fucked up the chair frame placement because everyone working on the Simpsons is dead inside and none of the animators care?

>>92406622

Nobody remembers that. And thank god nobody does because it's just further proof that the show lost any sense of dignity, worldbuilding or respect for its characters.

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>>92398173

Is...there any kind of moral to this book, or is it just "life sucks and then you die (again)"?

>>92406622
Not sure about the context, and I fucking hate Lisa, but this seems sort of cruel her not seeing him again

>>92406758
>the world is cruel, and true happiness can be found only in death

>>92406622
>>92406838
Wouldn't be the cruelest thing they ever did.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgIIFp9eAfI
I can't find the full scene on YouTube, but this edited clip will at least get the point across.

>>92406838
that was the joke

>>92406999
>literally dancing in his grave
when does a joke goes too far?

>>92399822
>>92399916
Totally unbelievable but still kind of hot. A promising future as a Brazzers writer awaits you Anon.

I loved Charlotte's Web as a kid. Several decades later I reread it as a boring adult. It's genuinely two books in book.

As a kid, it's a book about a talking pig and a spider, and about being yourself.

As an adult, it's a book about growing up, losing the magic of childhood, and maturing into the person you will eventually become.

I was not fucking prepared for the feels.

>>92391038
A children's book. Designed for children. Read to children.

Nah, completely out of the question.

But seriously, are Americans really this sensitive and unintelligent?

>>92396639
>there are people on 4chan who are younger than the site itself
And it's only going to get worse.

>>92396680
The Simpsons itself isn't that great. Neither is Futurama.

I guess you can get a couple chuckles out of them, but on the whole they're vastly overhyped for what are essentially animated sitcoms.

>>92396639
I remember pre 9/11 America. Does anyone remember NewsRadio?

>>92408823

Sorry but I'm going to have to politely ask you to fuck yourself.

The fact that they've been around for decades and the concept has been done to death since, might trick you into thinking they're not funny, but not everything that's popular has to be put in to a fucking box by contrarians. No other animated show before The Simpsons applied such quick wit with the benefits of animation. The Simpsons literally revolutionised television.

>>92391038
>MrEnter: The Thread

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>>92409107
Just because a show was "revolutionary" doesn't make it funny.

A video of a train driving at the screen is revolutionary when the concept of film is completely new, but to any modern audience that same "revolutionary" film would be utter schlock.

Same with The Simpsons and Futurama. For fucks' sake, they're almost 30 and 20 years old respectively. It's not even that the jokes are dated, which they are, but that they're just *bad*

>DO'H
Haha, so funny, pinnacle of wit.

What's holding back /co/ and television is a slavish worship of mediocre shows.

>>92406758
moral is don't fuck freaks because they'll get murdered in murder world immediately

>>92409598

You sound like someone who literally watched like a few episodes when it was on TV, and now you're just familiar with the iconicity of the show rather than the show itself.

Go and watch some actual fucking episodes and then make a judgement. Sometimes there's a reason why things are popular??

>>92409598
I would like to hear what cartoons you consider the greatest.

>>92409720
Over the Garden Wall and The Thief and the Cobbler are both light years above The Simpsons in terms of animation quality (as opposed to just popularity).

>>92409703
You sound like someone who liked the show when they were a kid (or still are a kid) and are completely unable to see its glaring flaws and shit writing.

I imagine that in the future we'll be having the same conversation about Spongebob, Steven Universe, or Korra as the demographic of those shows grows up (physically).

>Go and watch some actual fucking episodes and then make a judgement
lol kid, I've seen the whole show. I used to like it when I was younger. My judgment is: Simpsons fans are delusional. We're done here, kid.

>>92403846
>Lisa comments on her physical attraction to her teacher
>Father figure

>>92409989
>in terms of animation quality
I meant comedy-wise. Sorry, I should've specified.

This episode was boring and unfunny

>>92410347
But you learned to accept Jews, didn't you?

>>92409989

>constantly uses the word "kid"

what are you trying to prove??

Also, no, I watch the show all the fucking time. I'm a huge fan. You can't just take my argument (you watched the show as a kid and now you only judge what you remember) and flip it on me. If my case was the same as yours I wouldn't have criticised that specific outlook you fucking idiot.

>shit writing

Any actual examples then? Instead of just using "D'oh" as a means of identifying the show's humour?
The show is smart, charming, and honestly funnier than some of the actual sitcoms airing at the same time. I've been watching it all my life but I honestly only started watching it regularly at age 14, and at that age I was smart enough to grasp nearly every joke. Please name me some cartoons you think are better.

>>92391637
My teacher read that to us in 4th grade and we shortly watched Old Yeller after that.

All I remember in the book is one of the dogs being disemboweled and dragging itself around and the graphic details of bludgeoning a raccoon to death.

Old Yeller was more traumatizing because we had visuals, and almost the entire class was sobbing.

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> highschool

> Animatrix

> Second Renaissance

> Part 2

>>92392153
>that face

Christ it's like that how to draw manga author got into CG modeling.

>>92396819
The only book we ever read in school that I absolutely hated was Down the Common.

IIRC one of the early chapters was about the main character, a medieval peasant woman, crippling her toddler for life by accidentally dumping boiling soup all over him.

Am I the only one who wanted to fuck the cartoon version of Charlotte?

Her smooth and quiet 40's voice gets me rock hard, not to mention how cute she was

>>92399215
I think it also has to do the fact that Catcher in the Rye inspired several shootings:
>Robert John Bardo's shooting of Rebecca Schaeffer and John Hinckley
>Jr.'s assassination attempt on Ronald Reagan.
>Additionally, after fatally shooting John Lennon, Mark David Chapman was arrested with a copy of the book that he had purchased that same day, inside of which he had written: "To Holden Caulfield, From Holden Caulfield, This is my statement"

>>92408855

That show wasn't that good. Or maybe I just wasn't old enough to appreciate it.

>>92412147

It's weird, I don't remember anything in that book that would inspire someone to go shoot someone.

>>92407392
>the feels when Fern stops coming to visit Wilbur and the other animals and stops caring about Wilbur in general

fuck