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Saturday Night Storytimer
Spider-man (1967) Vulture's Prey 2017-05-13 10:52:13 Post No. 92347999
[Report] Image search: [Google]
Spider-man (1967) Vulture's Prey 2017-05-13 10:52:13 Post No. 92347999
[Report] Image search: [Google]
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Spider-man (1967) Vulture's Prey
Saturday Night Storytimer
2017-05-13 10:52:13
Post No. 92347999
[Report]
Hey everyone! Time for Spider-man! This week's episode features the Vulture who takes J Jonah Jameson prisoner and uses his newspaperman information to make himself more powerful than ever.
There's also some pretty big clocks so time's a wastin' let's get this show on the road.
>>
Previous spidey eps
https://pastebin.com/86qedmQu
Previous Fantastic Four eps
https://pastebin.com/tjREijhZ
>>
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You dawg I herd ya like houses so I put a house on yo house so you could mortgage while you mortage
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An alarm! From that penthouse! Either homeschool is out or it's an alarm!
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If it is a penthouse robbery, it fits the M.O of the Penthouse robber who robs penthouses.
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(I'm the Bond super-villain here and I'M getting robbed? This city isn't safe anymore!)
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A few trinkets to feather my nest and build my nest egg!
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Spider-man: Vultureman! I've got you! Of course it would be who would be the penthouse robber you fowl feathered fiend!
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No, I'm the Vulture. Not Vultureman, not Vulture-man, not a Vulture. You may address me as THE Vulture or Mr. Toomes if you're nasty.
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I said Vulture comma space Man. You're trying to get offended on purpose and that's great!
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Vulture: OUT OF MY WAY, WEBFACE. I'M FLYING THE COOP
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Looking forward to the JJ clock scenes.
>>
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Spider-man: Oh he meant it that time.
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Spider-man: Wait a second! He's not even flapping his arms and he doesn't have a jetpack!
>>92348505
And enjoy The Vulture's great chin, the greatest of any Spider-man character past present or future
>>
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Let's clip those wings
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Missed me missed me now you can't diss me!
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While he tries to think up a comeback to THAT is when I'll strike!
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*bonk*
Spider-man: Owww! Cold hard cash hits hard!
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Ooooooooo that Vulture! When I catch up with him I'll pluck his feathers! He'll be a dead duck! I'll quack his skull!
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MISS BRANT? MISS BRANT! MISS BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT
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MISS BRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT
WHERE IS THAT GIRL? SHE WAS TRAINED TO RESPOND TO THIS BUTTON
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It's 10:01! She's one minute late! Of all the nerve of all the lazy, unreliable stunts to pull. How can I dictate letters with no one around to hear them?!
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No, the watch broke. Not 10:01 That backalley shady bootleg Casio dealer told it'd last forever, but look! Screaming broke the SO WHAT TIME IS IT?
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*ding dong ding dong*
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One... two... three... 28 o clock??? That clock is always wrong!
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That clock being wrong has struck the last nerve! I've complained a million three hundred thousand and 31 times and they still won't fix it! Time to do something about it!
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Daily Bugle the Motion Picture will have to wait!
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As the saying goes, if you want something do right, shut up and get the hell out of the way and let JJJ do it.
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And I personally wrote an editorial to veto a school bond funding measure to use the funds to fix this clock! Now we have an entire generation of kids who can't read or tell time!
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It doesn't look like anyone's been up here in years! Except to bring donuts.
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No wonder this clock hasn't been fixed! There's all these stairs here!
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Two flights of stairs! It's like climbing Mount Everest! Well that loafer in charge upstairs is going to be in for a nasty surprise! With each stair Jameson has to climb, the more the decibels his voice carries and at this point I'd cause Blackbolt to go deaf!
>>
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About damn time! And the doors aren't even locked! Some hooligan could come off the street and mess things up! That's ANOTHER thing wrong with how this city runs things!
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HUUUUUUUUUH
>>
34th for best weekly thread
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Jewels! Furs! That painting! These are all stolen... by the penthouse robber! Do you know what this means?
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Spider-man lives here! This is his lair!
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Wrong again! And that's too bad for you, for now I must dispose of you!
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Dispose of me? Do you know who you're talking to, little man?
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Owner and Publisher of the Daily Bugle. (Love the articles by the way big fan.) Responsible for the creation of the Scorpion and the Fly, father of an astronaut ,THE J. Jonah Jameson?
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Is there any other?
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>>92349247
>And the doors aren't even locked!
They keep it unlocked incase any one has symbiotes and need to remove them. It's a very series medical problem and shouldn't be joked about.
>>
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Now that you've told me my life story then you know why I'm a national treasure who can never be destroyed! BAH! I can't waste any more time here than I've already wasted!
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I've got to show up for the testing of the new experimental highly valuable prototype miniature rocket this morning!
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Miniature rocket eh? experimental eh? Morning eh? Tell me more! Tell me everything!
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Betty: Come on Peter why won't you take tastelessly nude pictures of me? You're a photographer! Pretend I'm Spider-man or if it'll help you can tie me up and put a fish bowl on my head.
Peter: It's not that Betty. It's just that I can't find my other leg and my arms are too long. I hope Mister Jameson won't make fun of me.
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Mister Jameson is a flawed flawed man. He'd probably mock you if he were here but he's not here. This is freaking me out, Peter, he's NEVER late! He's anally punctual for everything! Where could he be?
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*Ding dong ding dong*
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The Clock gets worse by the day. According to the chimes... it's tuesday.
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What are we supposed to do?! Carry on like normal?
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Maybe he went to the rocket test and didn't come to work? I'm going to take pictures because well... that's what he wants in life. If he calls, tell him I'm on my way!
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Yeah, no. I'm not going to remember to do that. Bye Peter. Go on. Leave me to my existential crisis.
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Ok!
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Announcer: ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL. CLEAR ROCKET AREA
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CLEAR ROCKET AREA. YES, THAT ROCKET. CLEAR AWAY FROM THAT. THAT MEANS YOU, NERD IN THE BLUE JACKET
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Hah. Whoever that announcer is yelling at is going to get into heaps of trouble! There! There's the pic for JJ! It's a good one all zoomed in and centered just as he likes it!
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I wonder where ol' JJ is? He loves rocket tests and anything else as explosive as his temper
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And here comes trouble
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FLAP FLAP FLAP
Announcer: ALL SECURITY UNITS INTERCEPT UNIDENTIFIED FLYING GREEN MAN-BIRD OBJECT
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That's the Vulture! Everyone cross your fingers and hope that he can carry the next movie. You think that one over while I suit up!
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With this rocket I'll be king of the sky!
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Sky monarchy doesn't work that way! You have to kill the old sky king!
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Spider-man! You webbed me to the thing I planned on stealing!
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Spider-man: Was aiming for your mouth to be honest.
Vulture: You're in the perfect spot! Just wait! One twist of this control belt and...
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!!!
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He took off like a bird out of hell!
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A man with wings can do anything! But a man with a rocket can do everything!
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There's the pendulum but no pit! Figures that Vulture would half-ass his lair!
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Jameson! I'm Hoooooooome!
*Audience applause!*
Jameson: OH NO!
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That rocket! You stole it!
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Looks great doesn't it. Those other villains are going to be so jealous! Hey! You're a newspaper guy! Let me borrow a camera so I take pictures of Green Goblin and Hobgoblin's faces when I pass them on the sky.
If you behave I'll let you paint it green and another shade of green!
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No! I don't want to paint a rocket! I want to get released so I can meet a famous diamond merchant! I have an appointment, you can check with my secretary, let me go and I'll give her a call to confirm it!
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Diamond merchant? Here's an idea. How about I meet him for you. If he asks, I'll tell him you're a bit ... tied up.
*audience laughter*
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Now to kick this rocket into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE
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PILOT! STAY ALOFT AND HAND ME THE DIAMONDS AND IF YOU WON'T DO IT PEACEFULLY THEY'LL BECOME BLOOD DIAMONDS
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Specifically if you refuse I'll wrap your rotor blades with this wire and you'll probably crash!
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Picklepuss wouldn't miss two dates in a row. Betty's panic must be justified.
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Oh hey there's the cops. Something must be going doing so how about letting Spidey ridealong
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Spider-man: THERE'S NO WAY THIS COULD POSSIBLY GO AWRY
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Fools! You can't stop me! I have a rocket!
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Spider-man: Oh! SNAP
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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whew
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That would have been the unkindest cut of all!
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*crrrrrraaaaaack*
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Someone help! This place is falling apart!
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Vulture: Jameson! I'm Hoooome!
Jameson: Oh no!
Vulture: Oh don't give me that look. I brought home diamonds and this adorable little briefcase! SOMEONE has to pay the rent around here.
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Jameson: You stole them!
Vulture: That's what I do!
Jameson: NEVERMIND THAT! HELP! THIS PLACE IS GOING TO KILL ME
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Vulture: Kill you? If you your cooking hasn't killed you yet, what makes you think this place could?
*audience laughter*
Jameson: LET ME. GO.
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Let's make a deal. My mother's going to visit next week and I'd like to show off to her. I'll save you from being crushed to death and you clean up this place and also I understand that the military is developing a laser gun? She'd love to see her favorite son with a futuristic kill weapon. Tell me where it is and we have a deal. Deal?
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Your MOTHER? What is she going to do? Tell us about how great it was when The Printing Press was invented?!
And the laser gun? If you get your hands on that you could kill millions! NEVER
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Oh come onnnnn
>>
this show is unironically great for the first season, anyone who disagrees can suck my balls
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Jameson: Fine! Just untie me!
Vulture: Glad I could stare you down! Now! Her name is Ladybird Toomes, she can be a harpy if her blood sugar is a little low.
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Vulture: Make sure the place is spotless. OH! And don't talk about her crow's feet or how she's pigeon-toed. She hates that. Now! Tell me all about that laser gun!
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The Navy's on high alert and taking no chances. If the Vulture got his talons on that laser gun I'd be done for and not even the combined forces of the X-men and the Avengers could stand in his way.
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Navy! This is the Vulture! Surrender the laser gun or I'll blow you to kingdom come or the bottom of the harbor! Whatever's closest!
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HOLY SHIT HE'S NOT KIDDING! HE'S GOT A BOMB!
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YES! Yes I do! This is your last chance!
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STOP THE VULTURE AT ANY COST. IF HE GETS THAT LASER GUN HE MAY BLOW UP THE WHOLE CITY!
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Your guns are too slow for me and my rocket!
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Spectacular Spectacular speederman!
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I wanna fuck the Vulture
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Spider-man: Not so fast! Your rocket power ay be great, but never underestimate the power of webhax!
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You can HAVE the rocket and more!
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Hey how does he steer that or slow down or land a rocket anyways?
....
Oh no.
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Spider-man must have been blown to little spider bits! Jameson's going to be so proud of me he'll probably bake me a coffee cake to celebrate!
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The reports of my death are greatly imagined.
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Yes! This is Betty Brant! No! I don't know where Mister Jameson is! I'm running the place the best I can but I don't know what I'm doing! Tommorow's headline is going to be "Pandas: cute or adorable!" Is that good???? I'll tell Mister Jameson to call you back if he ever gets back!
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That kind of clickbait won't keep the Bugle afloat for long. Is there no clue to JJ's wearabouts?
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Betty: No! Nothing! Just a note on his desk to check the giant clock! It must have been an important because he initialed a memo written to himself!
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Betty: You know how declares random vendettas on things that don't work. Like that time he declared war on Daylight Savings time? You remember?
Peter: Yeah! He made me dig up Ben Franklin's corpse so that JJ could lecture his skeleton about inventing a concept that would be made obsolete by electricity and indoor lighting and how Ben Franklin of all people should have known better having also invented electricity!
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Lock up J Jonah Jameson in a clocktower will you? HE REALLY DIDN'T KNOW WHO HE WAS DEALING WITH.
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AND I HAVE TIME ON MY SIDE
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There. That'll show em. Cause enough noise and the whole city will know J Jonah Jameson is up here.
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*ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong *
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WHAT ARE YOU DOING THE LANDLORD IS GOING TO CALL THE COP ON US AND I'M ALREADY IN A BAD MOOD! I FAILED TO GET THE LASER GUN!
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Vulture: I didn't get the laser gun and I didn't get to kill the people I hate most.... until now!
Audience OoooOOOoooooooo
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Peter: That clock is going berserk!
Betty: Yes, we know. Everyone loves a big clock. The bigger the better.
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The upside of having Mister Jameson absent is we have the office to ourselves. Say Peter, I like you, you like me. How about we shag on the boss's desk. It's the right height.
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Ok Betty tell me how that carpet stuff goes I'm going to check out that clock seeyabye!
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Hey! Let me down!
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Great! Just great! I have to find a new nest and get a new roomie right away and my mom's gonna freak if she hears about this!
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Hey! I know a place! It's got shiny steel bars and you get free food and you can keep newspapers on the floor and poop wherever you want!
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AGGGGGHHHHH See! This wouldn't have happened if I was riding on a rocket with a laser gun!
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Jameson: About time someone showed up! get me down from here!
Spider-man: What's the safeword?
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Jameson: LET ME DOWN
Spider-man: SAFE. WORD. THE THING YOU SAY.
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You know, something you'd never say. Something odd out place and out of character for you
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It's too embarrassing!
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Look, if you're not going to say it you can get yourself down.
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OK! Spider-man. Here it is. PLEASE let me down
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Officer Drew: COME ON CARREY, I HAVE A WATCH, YOU DON'T NEED TO CHECK THE GIANT CLOCK
Officer Carrey: BUT IT'S BIGGER
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Every man loves when ladies hit on them but not like this!
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Dispatch, there's a man in the way of the clock. And there's a note! I'll use my conspicuously excellent vision to read it!
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Hickery dickery dock the vulture's in the clock .
Compliments your friendly neighborhood spider-man.
That's some dedication! It looks like his pen ran out of ink 4 times! And yet he soldiered on!
But we'll have to go up there and get him. Fuck Spider-man!
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Ain't I a stinker?
.
.
.
THE END
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That's it for this week's episode.
I must have around 1,000 Spider-man reaction faces thanks to this show now. Be back next week for more of the same. Next week Spider-man fights shadow animals, monsters, and other weapons.
It's going to be a weird episode that's for sure. Have a good weekend and say hi to yur mum.
>>
bumpan for oc
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>>92347999
Another Saturday well spent
>>
>>92360863
Thank you
>>
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>>92348401
>Mr. Toomes if you're nasty.
underrated
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>>92349002
The JJJ Theater's a real fixer-upper.
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This is the best thing I've seen all week.
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>>
>>92347999
glad to pick your thread again. bumperino
>>
Bump for readings.
>>
>>92351549
Let's see em' Tigerjk it's a great show
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