>people STILL live in Gotham Can someone redpill me on that

He's an asshole because he refuses to just kill all the murderous psychopaths that live here

>>92321777
Why don't the police deal with the gangsters? Shit, why don't the police deal with him?

>>92321691
As a Gothamite I can tell you rent is dirt cheap, I've seen him once, he was like 9ft tall, I've heard from friends that he can fly and drinks blood, but that's all rumours

What's the boyscout like?

>>92322340
Anon, don't be stupid the bat is not a vampire thats a myth, everyone knows it's a robot build by the government

The bat isn't even real. He's just an urban legend spread by the GCPD to make their jobs easier.

>>92321691
BATMAN
IS
NOT
REAL

Are you fucking kidding me? The government made him up so that people will live here, making amusement park equipment for the rest of the country. I don't know who the guy in the Justice League is but he sure as hell isn't here.

>>92322653
Tell that to my limp, the bat crippled me for mugging some broad

>>92322787
Quit RPing, you know you fell off a bike or some shit.

You'd think a civilian would have been able to shoot at least one of these wackjobs by now.

Are guns illegal in Gotham or something?

>>92322990

That Joker wacko has whole gangs devoted to him. You want them coming after you for offing their boss?

I heard he might kill you if you commit a crime. Maybe

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Anyone picked up any of the Bat's toys he leaves laying around?

I managed to snag these right after the bank robbery in Bristol.

>>92323280
>bringing them to your house
Hope he doesn't rape you too hard when he goes over there to get them

Hes a Niger

>>92321691
i don't think his parents raised him right. if they had he'd have had more permanent solutions to the criminal problem.

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>>92323531
I heard he raped the Joker but that might be some police propaganda. Too many perverts in this place.

Thinking of moving to Central City anyway.

>>92323815
Just don't go to Hub City
Went there on vacation and saw a weird faceless dude digging in the trash

>>92321691
>Can someone redpill me on that bat guy? How does he compare to Superman? I'm from metropolis

Well, he's not a red and blue fag from fag city to begin with, u metrofag

>>92323531
>implying he does
This stuff is everywhere. It's a wonder how he affords all this shit.

>>92322653
Everyone in Gotham knows Bruce Wayne is Batman. It's obvious!

>>92324245
Who the hell's Bruce Wayne?

Batman's a pussy, he seriously doesn't even kill maniacs like Joker or Ivy, I guess if you're sexually attracted to something you try to lock it up in your personal funhouse, huh?

Guy Gardener, that's a man, does what needs to be done, and isn't enough of a pussy to have a secret identity.

>>92324225
With all the shit his gang steals. Its a conspiracy!

If the Batman is such a well-equipped super detective who terrorizes crime, why is Gotham still such a shitty place? All the random thugs are scared off the streets by him, but the ones who are still out there mugging and stealing are organized and working with the Batman, stealing more efficiently because they have less competition!

People have even claimed to see him with that cat burglar lady. Its fucking obvious!

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>>92324245
the rich guy who lives in a fucking honest to god mansion on the outskirts of the city?
is this some new meme i missed?

>>92324245
Bruce Wayne is not Batman you fucker. Batman is obviously a dumb playboy and there's no way he could find the time to be Batman.

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Batman here, you all don't know what your getting you'reselves into. It'd be best to just drop it and go back to reading yore Marvel comics, who have no major competitors.

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>This whole fucking thread
Batman is an urban legend that Gotham residents invested an absurd amount of thought, faith and lore to to try to make their shithole seem interesting, possibly made by the tourism industry.

>Well sure Gotham's prisons are a fucking joke and some form of murderous superpowered lunatic is always out and about, but don't worry some asshole in tights and a utility belt will keep you safe please spend your money here!
Fuck off already, people have probably died because of this guano.

>>92324274

Do you live under a rock?

Bruce Wayne is one of the richest men on the planet

He's a billionaire playboy philanthropist who own more then half of Gotham

And is basically the sole reason it's in as good of shape as it is because after his parents were Murdered! In front of him when he was like 8 he dedicated his life to helping the people of Gotham with charities and donations and opening hospitals and the like

You know saying all that you think he funds the Bat?

Like all those toys have to add up to a few million at this point

>>92324579
Why are they all perfect circles, except the biggest one looks like a butt?

>>92324871
The butt is nature's most perfect shape.

I'll tell you about this Batman guy

I work hard, been a security guy for Wayne enterprises for a couple years now, it's a nice gig but I'm not getting invited to those Wayne manor parties anytime soon. So I'd just got off work one night, I'm driving home and I hit a red light. Right at that moment a giant fuckin bat comes right through my windshield into the passenger seat way too late for the carpool lane.
I get out of the car just as Batman lands and he just ignores me, I'm freaking out about my car, he's pulling the bat out and putting it in his car and I turn to him because I know my insurance company won't believe this shit and he just drives off.

Didn't give me a ride, cab fare, not even a Bat-tow so I gotta walk home, call work, and tell them I can't come in tomorrow. Next day Mr.Wayne himself is outside my house with a brand new company car.

I tell you boys, Batman isn't gonna fix a goddamn thing about this city, he's an asshole, Mr.Wayne is the one that'll save Gotham

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>>92321691
It's realistic

>>92322585
it's a special police task force ran by Gorden and Dent

>>92324654

He's a member of the justice league you dumb fuck!

Also is that Superman dressed up like Batman?

>>92324437
you fucked up

>>92324972
>Its another "Wayne > Batman" episode
You're fucking delusional. Sure Wayne might be a nice guy but being nice isn't going to "save" Gotham. Gotham is a shitty place and to "save" it, hell, to survive it, you have to be a bit of an asshole. If Batman wrecks your car and fucks off then obviously he has better things to do than tow you home. Just be grateful there's someone out there keeping you safe from the Joker.

Now Bruce Wayne on the other hand? He's just a spoiled rich kid. A nice spoiled rich kid, which I'll admit is a bit of an oddity, but just some bumbling smoothtalking playboy all the same. Kek, Bruce Wayne vs. the Joker, now there is a fight I'd like to see.

>>92325078

Do you even live in Gotham?

Dent is Twoface

>>92325203
>Just be grateful there's someone out there keeping you safe from the Joker.
if this bat guy isn't in league with the joker why the fuck does the joker keep coming back after batty 'stops' him

>>92325399

Anon everyone knows the Bat don't kill

You should be wondering how the Joker never gets the chair or a cop saying he was "Coming right at em" so they had to shoot

I bet it's a conspiracy going all the way to the top

Only thing that makes sense

Someone is Keeping the Joker alive same as the other villains

>>92325039
Would Batman survive Mexico?

>Batman
Nah. Hes old news. That new guy is awful though. The one with the eye mask and two batons. Nightwing? He almost fucked my wife.

>>92322653
>Batman isn't real
>He's on the Justice League
>There's footage of him fighting parademons and shit
You must believe the Earth is flat, anon.

Speaking of celestial bodies, do you think Batman's an alien? Like maybe that cowl is there to hide his inhuman features or something.

>tfw thought I was applying for a fast food job and ended up working for Condiment King

>>92326530
What's his favorite condiment?

Does he watch a lot of cooking shows?

>>92325105
I have no idea who that is. That pic is from the old Gotham Guardians chatroom, back when some shitposter was too busy false flagging to realize he'd left his webcam on and everyone could see him and his cosplaying buddies awkwardly standing around his mancave. What a fucking idiot.

>>92324832
>one of the richest men in the world
>funds a dangerous vigilante that works outside of the law and catches "criminals" (yet nobody has actually seen the fucker doing that)
>instead of opening more jobs at his daddy's company so there are less thieves on the street, and donating to the GCPD so they can catch dangerous supervillains
Yeah, no. I don't buy that.

The bat is most likely a myth created to explain the disappearance of common thugs and to give people a false sense of hope so the government can keep using the "supervillains" to test biological weapons.

Just move out of Gotham.

>>92326661
I couldn't ask because Batman kicked the shit out of everyone.

>>92326705
>Just move out of Gotham.
aint no prospects in the projects
that shits hard to do

>bat deniers
I'm guessing none of you are in the henchman business?
I've seen the fucker. Broke both my buds arms.

>>92326705
>instead of opening more jobs at his daddy's company so there are less thieves on the street

Doesn't he already do that?

>>92321691
The Bat is cool yo. He don't take shiv from anyone. Bats can jive. He schway. No one shivs the Bat.

>>92326316
>The one with the eye mask and two batons. Nightwing
I hear from another thug the other day that there more than one Robin and he use to be one of them

>>92327241
Psh everyone was Robin. Just a bunch of mucks. Ain't none of them jive with Bats for real.

>tfw you will never be held hostage by Harley Quinn.

>>92327056
Why you do it anon? If you know the bat is real, why keep working at this bullshit, also do you ever worked for one the big ones, i hear a urban legend that said The Riddler gives booby trap boxes to his employes as payment if you solved you can even earn twice the money, he was going to pay you, but if you fail..well, you know

>>92327289
what are you ugly and suicidal?

>>92321691
One time as a kid I was being mugged, and he just jumped off a fucking apartment building and landed on the guy. I think I heard his pelvis fracture, swear to god.

I went to thank him and he just screamed 'MY PARENTS ARE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD!' at me. Bout pissed myself.

>>92324245
Bruce is as crazy as a shithouse rat, like a Howard Hughes type, but I don't think he's THAT crazy, dude.

>>92321691
Wanna buy an authentic batarang? Only five dollars!

>>92327402
>why do you do it?
what, get a real job?
and no, ive never worked for any of the big ones. the clown has always got openings, but goons that work for him take the most beatings so fuck that.

>Masked psycho flies around the city solving crimes
>We're supposed to be okay with this
>Street vendors are selling his bat logo on airbrushed t-shirts
>Joker merchandise is starting to become a thing.
People will do anything to make money in this city. I can't take this much longer.

>>92324245

>Dumb rich kid who does nothing but bang models
>Batman

Like that asshole would ever wave a finger to help us out, he's not even involved with his own company.

>>92327774
And thats people, how a new super villian is born in gotham

>>92327652

Someone explain to me why he keeps adopting young boys. Didn't one of them go missing or hasn't been seen in idk forever.

>>92327931
Some shit it's going on Wayme manor, but the guy gives the city work, charity projects,etc..So no one says anything, but something is going there, the playboy millionair never havesa girlfriend, but likes to spend time with little boys

Bruce Wayne es hombre de murciélago, encontré una especie de ascensor mientras limpiaba antes de que me despidieran por husmear. Hombre muy extraño

>>92328028
I think he just has a guilt complex about his parents getting killed so he adopts orphans. It's not like he raises them. I bet they all get shipped off to boarding school.

isn't Bruce Wayne the principle at Gotham academy ? I got a cousin that goes there and she thought she saw Bruce Wayne and His son Damian Wayne there one time

>>92328275
That kid is a shithead. I valet parked from them once and Bruce handed him a $100 bill to give to me and he called me a peasant and said to get a real job. Then he just put the $100 in his pocket.

>>92328275
Wait, Bruce has a real son?Not an adopted one like this guy said>>92328111, He has a real one, were did they little prick came from, who's the mother?

>WAHHH don't talk shit about my crime infested city
>Batman is GOOD for Gotham
This is why Lex won.

>>92327931
He's worse than Michael Jackson. I bet that new brat he picked up from overseas isn't really his son.

>>92328346
Wow What a bastard.

>>92328349
Doesn't Bruce have like 3 adopted sons, One Biological Son and two adopted daughters and some random black kid that follows him ? I Don't know who Damian's mom is. Probably a whore

>>92328379
You shut your mouth about Bruce Wayne. It's clearly some oversea side piece.

Why would he ever marry and agree to One day give away half his assets?

Have you ever even seen Dick Grayson dude? Him and Bruce slay.

>>92328420
Damianwas probably the result of one night stand with some random whore, Bruce probably pays the bitch to get full custody and make himself look better, now wonder the kids is such an asshole, he's probably aware that he's just a broken condom baby who got lucky

>>92328555
Or just his new boy toy who will mysteriously disappear from public one day like the last two.

>>92323883
Why would you go on vacation to fucking HUB CITY

>>92328555
he's like 13 right ? Most Kids are assholes especially in Gotham. I hear Lois Lane's Kid Jonathan is a sweetie pie though but then again They live in metropolis

>person from metropolis, golden shining utopia of a city that loves illegal immigrants and has free healthcare and strong press
> red pill
Nice try

>>92321777
This.

Why doesn't Bruce Wayne do something about the problem?

He just sits there.

>>92327056
>2017
>Being a henchman
For what fucking purpose?
The real money is in being a labrat.
At worst you get sick and live off medical pay for the rest of your life, at best you get super powers. Literally win-win.

>>92323785
Yeah, say what you will about Bruce Wayne but at least that guy puts money into rehabilitation programs and such. Ever see the Bat do something like that? I think not!

>>92328878
that sounds like a great way to end up a useless biologically ruined wreck. ill stick to taking a fist to the face every once in a while.

>>92328876
>Expecting some playboy that "made" his fortune inheriting from mommy and daddy to ever do anything other than laze around and fuck top models

What the fuck are you people talking about?
is this one of those alternate reality things?
do any of you know who spider man is?

>>92328878
Not all super powers are great. My cousin Vinnie got turned into some sort of a giant dog man doing this. Lost his humanity. Shits scary man. Might have to put him down.

>>92321831

Buddy, you haven't ever dealt with Gotham PD, have you? There's like, 5 cops who AREN'T paid off by these gangsters. Half the time, when the bat turns them in, they wait long enough for him to get around the corner before the cuffs come off.

The police don't touch the bat because the 5 guys that actually want change also happen to sit on their asses in the office. Hell, their rule about helping the bat is the only damn rule the officers actually follow.

>>92324245
Yeah, sure, and there's a 12 foot tall alligator man in the basement at Arkham!

>>92328970
>Not making a fortune selling his dogboipussy to a mutate brothel
Some sick furfags would pay top dollars for a dogman.

>>92328950
What the fucks a Spider-Man?!

>>92328999
Hey now come on, he's not an alligator, he's just a nigga with a skin condition.

t. Arkham intern.

>>92324375
Nygma please.

>>92329008
You sick fuck. Vinnie's got a wife and two kids.

>>92328878
That shit is like winning the lottery. Most guys who volunteer for medical testing wind up at the bottom of the bay.

>>92329015
Isn't that that African guy? Anansi or something? Takes himself for some kind of mystic voodoo god or something?

>>92329062
I'm just sayin' man, consider your options before pulling the literal trigger.

>>92328950
>There is a Spiderman
I take it back I'm fine with Batman.

>>92328950

Oh great, now there's a spider guy? Sure, I guess. I mean, we've got a crocodile guy, a guy that literally looks like a bat, and some guy that thinks he's a penguin, so what the fucks a spider guy to have too I guess.

Whats his gimmick, shoot webs out of his ass or something?

>>92329062
Them kids are gonna be taken by social services if Vinnie can't make rent soon. Or would you rather he go back for more medical testing?

>>92329098
>>92329096
yeah, he swings around in red pajamas.
next youll say youve never heard of the fantastic four.

>>92321691
This
I have no Idea why people still live in that shithole Gotham.
That place is like the American Baghdad

T.Centralcityfag

I'm pretty sure Gothams just a city shaped black hole. If you're unlucky enough to be born in this shithole, you can't ever get away.

>>92329098
Shut your pie hole! Mr. Cobblepot is an entrepreneur and a respected member of society.

>>92329062
Man, you have to be open to your options.

You can make lots of money as a furry slut

Fawcett City fag here. Do you guys have to deal with random lightning strikes out of the blue?

Damn weird-ass weather.

>>92329157
It's better than Bludhaven.

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>>92321691

Keep in mind, everyone in Gotham has a fetish, while everyone in Metropolis has a job. Only people getting work in Gotham are engineers or chemists. Metropolis' boy billionaire MAKES jobs, while Gotham's just opens orphanages and research labs.

do any villains hire female goons?
i need a job and no one will hire me cause of my criminal record.

>>92329245
Don't lower yourself to such vile occupations. Mr. Cobblepot is always looking for new female employees willing to work at the Iceberg Lounge. I simply need a resume and some photos...

>>92329245
Don't work for Dr. Light.

>>92329245
Joker needs a new Harley Quinn

>>92329333
that fat dude who smells like fish?
>>92329390
what happened to the old one?
>>92329360
i suppose ill keep that in mind?

>>92329401
She hates him and might be getting with General Zodd

Daily reminder that #Gothamgate is completely legit. Commissioner Gordon, Bruce Wayne and Harvey Dent are running an underground child sex ring.

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>>92329197
Mmmh, I wonder who could be behind this post?

>>92329401
>Cobblepot
L..lies and slander! I'll have you know that Mr. Cobblepot is highly athletic and has impeccable hygiene.

>>92329463
Are you talking about The penguin or His son ?

>>92329463
does he hire girls who get ejected from roller derby competitions for being overly violent?
yeah.
im looking for punching shit work, so i dont know if im what "hes" after.
>>92329447
huh. i thought she was mad about him.

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>>92329551
The Penguin has a SON? Someone had low enough standards to fuck that sack of fish?

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>Walking around gotham
>See this girl that kinda looks like that harley chick standing on corner
>Say to her AYY BBY U WANT SUM FUK. just on a larf
>She says sure thing pud'in and drags me to her apartment
>We have crazy sex and immediatly afterwards she throws me out.
>Its been a couple of days later and now ive got this funny itch on my crotch that wont go away no matter what i do

did I fuck up? am i going to die?

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>>92321691
i'm still here for the batburger

>>92329597
if that was a themed prostitute its prolly just the clap.
if it was actually her you've got clown pox. pray for death.

>>92329578
Oh my yes. He has many positions in mind for strong athletic women of your persuasion. Incidentally, how do you feel about bathing suits and fishnet stockings?

>>92329148
>he swings around in red pajamas
That dosen't sound scary at all, if he behaved like a Spider, then i would be shitting my pants

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>>92329578
Bitches can be mad about Zodd but they still knee when he tells them and yeah He has a son. He's pretty cute thou he's a hipster

>>92329729
sounds better than the outfits freeze makes female goons wear.
you have a website?

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>People actually chose to live in Gotham and Bludhaven.

It's like you guys want to die.

>>92329749
was this from a shoot? what the fuck is that up with that filter in the bottom right?

>>92329749
He looks fine, it's his biological son or is he adopted? Because he looks nothing like him

>GOAT Jazz scene
>GOAT Burgers on the riverwalk
>GOAT apartment prices

Fuck off back to your overpriced Apartments and shitty bland food.

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>MFW there are Gothamfags have never tasted the single greatest Cola in Existince.

fucking savages the lot of ya, should have never moved out of the metro.

>Why DO people live in Gotham?
They move from all those other places that get damaged. If Luthor does something screwy to the tectonic plates, and now there's a city where everything rolls to the northeast.
Not to mention the insane people, which accounts for all the madness in Gotham. All those "floridated water made me
or "fill your apartment with harlequin novels so that the demons won't get your ears" or that sort of stuff. Someone who thinks that the Flash's rhythmic running causes people to start becoming wax statues, or the government is being taken over by the warriors of the dark sied, or you have to keep putting pineapples with christmas lights everywhere so that Magilla Gorilla will take you away in his spaceship.
All these people move to Gotham because the polly-atmo waves are better, or there's more abductions which means that must be where the Guardians are taking people from, or something. Or Starro took over your town and now Gotham satisfies all your extradimentional chewing needs.

>>92329819
I think it was from a shot and the camera fucked up

>>92329866
I think its Biological

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>>92328846
First and last time I ever took a plane ticket just because its cheap

>>92323280
>you've activated my batcard

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>>92324245
>waynefaggots pls go

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>>92321691
>She'll never nibble on the back of your testicles with her gigantic teeth.

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>>92329807
I'll have to get back to you on that. The private webserver that Mr. Cobblepot employed is currently facing some... technical difficulties.

>>92321691
because at least its not Hub City

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guys why dont you just move to coast city ots 100% safe here trust me

>>92321691
>extremely powerful criminals who break out of arkham any time they want to take a piss break
VS
>OP worldbreakers who have it in with superman constantly fucking everything up

I don't understand why anyone would live in a city populated by superheroes, Marvel or DC

Especially when so many Batman/Superman villians have it in specifically for those two

>>92326471
Great reading comprehension! Do they not teach reading in whatever inbred Smallville you come from?

>>92328878
Psph. Dumbass baseline normie. The real money is in being a henchmen, if you were born with a metagene.

You show up, take your cut, shoot the shit for a while, and the circus warriors show up. Black Canary chops you in your invulnerable throat, Huntress kicks you in your invulnerable dick, you pretend to fall down...five minutes later when they're going after the boss, you jump back up and go right out the front door.

You think they check to see if every mook they KO'd is still there? These broads can't check to see if they got body armor or lingerie out of their closet that night.

I swear, it's a license to print money.

>>92324245
>52chan faggots pretending their idiot ramblings are fact
Please leave, never to return.

>>92321691
He's kinda scarry but only really goes after criminals so I've only really seen him on videos and shit. Our real problem is the police, they're all crooks, I heard something about this Gordon guy trying to clean shit up but at this point it's hard to get my hopes up.

>>92322653
He was literally on TV when that Justice Society or whatever stopped the alien invasion.

>>92330705
Perhaps you should study up too, if you're trying to insult by leading with a positive sounding choice of words. You should try to do so before you start saying nonsense like "redpill me."

>>92324010
Dude Supes would literally wear the Bat as coat.

>>92324310
You mean that faggot of a failed cop who shows people his ass. Weird ginger pervert.

>>92330964
>I don't know who the guy in the Justice League is but he sure as hell isn't here.
>"redpill me" nowhere in the post
>people from smallville literally can't read

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If Batman is on vacation, does the Riddler care?

Whatever happened to Batgirl? She suddenly stopped appearing.

She had such an amazing ass. I'd fuck her until she couldn't walk.

>>92332109
Commissioner pls

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>All these butthurt Gothamfags

Seriously, I pity you if you don't live in metropolis. Lex makes the entire city a paradise and we're under the protection of the Super man. I cannot believe anyone chooses to live anywhere else desu

>>92328876
Why does he even stay in that shit hole?

You'd think he'd move somewhere nicer, doesn't he own the Daily Planet? Why not move to Metropolis?

>>92332109
Which one? There was that big tit redhead, there was that blonde girl, and also that weird short one. You know, full face mask and shit. Saw her take down a gang once. Shit was tucking scary, she's got to be roiding pretty hard.

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>tfw staying in Gotham for all the girls that come out during Batman sightings

Worth the danger every night

>>92332109
>I'd fuck her until she couldn't walk
Oh, classic joker... seriously man you sucked in suicide squad though

>>92332698
what are you even talking about?

>>92329885
Eat shit, Zesti is clearly objectively superior.

Gothamite here, everyone who drinks the water is a nutjob. I import mine from Metropolis which is most of my paycheck, so unfortunately I have to stay in Gotham with the rest of the water people. Hope that explains things.

>>92329098
Closest thing to a spider guy would probably be Black Spider. That guy has got moves. Saw him and the bat flying over the rooftops.

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>>92324245
>Rich beyond belief
>Literally has every bitch in Gotham bouncing on his cock if he meets them
>Does not even live in the main city, is in the outskirts
>Spends most of his life sheltered behind a desk

You're telling me a dude who could have anything he fucking wants is dressing up in a costume every night, driving his lambo into the city, then beating up criminals, then going home? What crazy bogpill tier shit is this?

>>92323531
>>92323815
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1ynujStOC80

>>92332424
>Gothamfags
seriously who the fuck lives there?
earthquakes floods joker venom, venom, joker virus, ninjas. fuck off gotham.

>>92332683
dude after the new 52 alll of em are dykes

>>92331069
Well they are goddamn rednecks

>>92321691
I moved to Metropolis after living in Gotham for awhile.
So, you know how if you look up you can see Superman just chilling and taking his time flying through the skyline some days? Like, whenever she really gets real you hardly see Superman move so he's taking his time deliberately do that folks remember he's up there keeping an eye out for trouble I guess?

Batman is like the complete opposite.
You HEAR about him in the news, and sometimes if the cameraman is like really lucky and gets there soon enough you get this shaky-ass shot of a dark blur, but you never actually SEE him. He's like fucking Bigfoot or the Jersey Devil, he's just impossible to catch on camera with a solid photograph or whatever. I think it's a superpower maybe?

Anyway, while pretty much everyone in Metropolis has a "Superman saved me experience" (I have two for christ's sake), almost nobody has a "Batman saved me" experience because it seems like by the time anyone realizes he's there he's already gone. Criminal types tell all these bullshit stories about him (knew this dealer said that the Bat once touched his arm with one hand and broke it in three places somehow), but almost nobody ever seems to lay eyes on the guy with more then one person there at a time. A bunch of the dumber Gothamites think he's a myth still.

>>92334451
People who live in Uptown and Midtown are usually okay; the craziest stay in Downtown.
It's only a shithole if you don't know what streets to avoid like all the goddamn tourists don't.

>>92324274
>H.J.
You cheeky fuck!

>>92323280
Those things go on eBay or Craigslist all the time, 99% of them are totally fake.

The one that one guy had that I think had one that was real didn't even look like metal. It was some kind of black ceramic shit that WOULD NOT BREAK; seriously, he stuck it edge-first in a wall and then dropped 30lb ice block on it's flat side from a height of about 20 feet up and the ice block was was what broke.

I heard it just vanished out of his house literally that night after he put the video on YouTube. I guess the Bat doesn't like it when you keep his shit.

>>92324437
I live in NYC; isn't Wayne like Gotham's version of Donald Trump?
Some super rich guy who donates money to random shit so he can put his name on it and always seems to be hitting on women and otherwise seems totally vapid and clueless?

>>92335303
>"Superman saved me experience" (I have two for christ's sake)

Nice. What were they?

>>92335375
First time was during a huge crazy super-strong thing attack. I think it was like a robot or something? Or maybe a robot suit?
It looked like the Terminator but with some kind of glowing green thing on it's chest.

Anyway, Not-The-Terminator tosses a car at a bajillion miles an hour and I can't get away in time, and Superman just zooms in out of fucking nowhere and catches me and drops me on this balcony like thirty stories up with some chick in his other arm. He asks us both if we're okay, and we nod and he does some kind of up-down look (his x-ray vision I guess), and then tells me to get my foot looked at because my ankle is bruised badly and the chick to go get her wrist looked at, then he takes off. I end up going to the hospital with her.
We actually end up hooking up for about six months after that, so thanks for that Superman if you're on here.

The other story is WAY fucking weirder.

I'm at this one dance club enjoying myself, and this hot blonde girl starts dancing with us in this slutty-ass skirt and I start grinding up on her (her ass was amazing) and she's all grinding back. I didn't think I was gonna score but she sure was fun to dance with.
Suddenly Superman flies down to the dance floor out of nowhere (it was an outdoor thing) and starts saying something to her I can't hear over the music. I have no idea what's going on, and then suddenly the cute blonde like, TAKES OFF with him after arguing with him for a minute. I guess it was his cousin or something, the one you see flying around in that stripper-skirt?

>>92335354
You live in New York?
You ever met the Justice Society?
You ever met Power Girl?

>>92335452
Yes, yes, and yes.
Green Lantern saved me once when I was a kid in the 90's; this was when he was still "Green Lantern" and not "Sentinel" or whatever he was calling himself, though I hear he went by Green Lantern again after that thing where the sun went out for 24 hours that I don't remember all that well.

Power Girl I met.
I wonder how she keeps her identity secret without a mask? I'd describe her for any other NYC fags on here to see if they've met anyone who looks like her but I can't remember what her face looks like.

>>92335239
Why would anyone unironically want to live in a town called "Smallville"?

>>92324245
Well, it's not like Wayne's the only one with the money and tech to pull it off. What about Ted Kord?

Then again, as much as Wayne owns everything in Gotham, I think he owns the Bat, but is not fit enough to be the Bat himself. I mean, when would he find time to dress in armor and fight crime?

Wayne probably finances the whole thing under the mask of "vigilantism" to go and ruin his business rivals, like Rupert Thorne, Simon Stagg, the Falcones. I mean, Batman apparently goes after white collar crime all the time, but NEVER after Bruce Wayne? THE corrupt business mogul of Gotham?

Hey, does anyone else think that there's more then one Robin?
When I was like, 14 and Batman first showed up, Robin was there like two years later.
Except Robin is STILL around and he still looks thirteen or fourteen or something, so it's gotta be more then one kid, right?

>>92335504
the bat and bird are ideas. that means they don't age, they are immortal as long as they are thought as such. how many times has he been killed by one villain or another only to be right back shortly afterwards.

>>92324654
>tights and a utility belt
Fucker, have you SEEN the kind of tech and armor Batman and his crew use?

Last summer I saw them using a fucking golem monster as armor for Bat to fight kaijus.

>>92324972
How did Bruce Wayne find out that you needed a new car if you just called sick?

>>92335535
Have you HEARD Wayne talk?
He's too fucking stupid to do anything other then rubber stamp shit that the his board of directors gives him.
Seriously, I think I've maybe seen him actually sober on camera only twice and he's always opening up an orphanage or founding a new hospital wing or some kind of charitable thing or other and then naming it after his dead parents.

Boo-hoo, cry me a fucking river Mr Billionare. You know after he got orphaned he vanished for pretty much every year after his seventeenth birthday? Guy probably went fucking half of Europe until he came back and he was like twenty-nine or whatever.

>>92328950
Spider-Man from Marvel Comics?

Yeah, what if him? Don't talk about his new oongoing coming up if you want yet another Marvel/Blaze company war.

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>>92332424
Fact: Cities that harbor aliens are far more dangerous 50 supervillains strung out on PCP. Coast City was a 3 million genocide pancake and Metropolis became a gaping concrete asshole.

Space is fucking dangerous you fools.

>>92335570
Protist; anyone who says they've "totally seen Batman" is lying or got him confused for some other superhero.

The only people that ever see Batman are the guys he keeps beating up, and honestly even that's debatable when you listen to half of their witness testimonies.

>>92335596
Metropolis got fixed two days later, ya stupid fuck. Superman helped fix it. It's not like Gotham where you got fucked by an earthquake and literally the first thing you all did was go fucking Lord of the Flies on each other for a year and a half before Luthor fixed your city for you.

And Superman didn't even blow up Metropolis, it was his kid!
The huge red headed one from Australia. He ended up contracting some kind of degenerative disease and went crazy and started blowing things up worse then when that fucking gray thing with spikes killed Superman, though I guess he ended up just being in a coma or something?

>>92328420
>>92328555
I keeped up with celebrity stuff at the time that Damian kid appeared out of nowhere at Wayne parties. Originally, official statement from Wayne marked him as another adopted kid, but I think someone's got a paternity check and Bruce had to come clean about being the biological father too. "No comment" on the mother.

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So who's this bat chick fucking around in burnside. She looks like a fucking mall hero, plus those gross piercings.

>>92335627
>Gotham where you got fucked by an earthquake and literally the first thing you all did was go fucking Lord of the Flies on each other for a year and a half before Luthor fixed your city for you.

Dude not okay, a LOT of people died after the Federal government just decided "nah, we're not gonna help". The whole thing was fucking awful and unless you lived there during it you do NOT get to judge anyone for what they did, alright?

>>92328878
Why do you think there ain't so many labrats getting easy money? They're dad, Jim.

I mean, I guess not that many people keep up with contemporary human biology research, but it's pretty simple. If you have a thing called "dormant metagene" in your organism, you get powers. If you don't, you usually die.

That's how a lot of "supervillains" mutate from getting fried by lightning, or applying some shitty face cream, or whatever.

I mean, it's a wonder that the government isn't trying to register and detain all these... mutants.

>>92335646
Dude, Batgirl has been around for like seven years or something, fucking pay attention to the news more often.
She dyed her hair blonde after awhile and then wore a full facemask thing, then went back to being a redhead. I have a friend to says she used to be a stripper with a crossbow but that retard thinks Wildcat and Batman are the same guy even though EVERYONE KNOWS who Wildcat is outside of the costume so he was probably thinking of Huntress.

There's the other Bat-chick, but she's taller and never seems to hang out with the others.

>>92328875
>Lex lets illegals into our city

Metropolis has shit all crime. Everyone knows that Superman has NSA level senses. All the street scum moved up north to Gotham once big Blue showed up because they know they can't do shit without him knowing. Doesn't stop the occasional idiot from trying to make his name, but MPD is pretty good, especially compared to GCPD. But with all the tech firms moving over here from silicon valley to be in proximity to lexcorp (and Wayne Ent is just up the road, so you get the benefits of that too without having to base yourself in Gotham) its pretty much all high end tech jobs around here now.

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>>92335627
>And Superman didn't even blow up Metropolis, it was his kid!

Anyone else alarmed at the notion that humans could soon bow to godkings wearing our flesh but lacking our mercy? A child throws a temper tantrum and instead of a timeout, the father allows it to smash you and your entire family through a concrete slab.

>>92335664
Recon she's Batwomans daughter? Both redheads right?

>>92329098
>Calling Mr. Cobblepot "penguin"

Somebody wants to get their fingers broken.

>>92335627
That wasn't Superman's Son IIRC. And that grey thing was called Doomsday in the JL press release.

>>92335667
Everyone talks about how the GCPD is awful; it's a holdover from the Commissioner Loeb days when the cops were actually super corrupt, but ever since Gordon got the job they got a lot better and started actually working with a Batman, hence the giant fucking flashlight on the roof.
They aren't all perfect or anything, but I bet 90% of the retards who complain about how corrupt Gotham's modern cops are couldn't even tell me what a Commissoner's job actually IS and are out-of-towners spouting memes they heard on the internet.

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>be Riddler henchmen
>have great benefits
>no real fear of being randomly killed by boss
>my only real job is just setting up his stupid riddle traps
Jokerfags need not apply.

>>92329157
My cousin at Central City was killed recently.

Apparently Flash saved her from falling debris and then Zoom immediately appeared and smashed her head with a stone screaming that he'll REVERSE every good deed or something.

They never caught that sick fuck.

>>92335693
It isn't what Gordon does thats for sure.

>>92335693
I honestly wouldnt' say the GCPD are awful but rather the law system needs an overhaul. A lot of guys there really needs to be put down already instead of being sent to the asylum.

I bet they just keep them alive for that rumor of some sort of supervillian squad Amanda Waller has.

>>92335672, >>92335691,
No dude, LUTHOR'S kid. The redhead. Superman doesn't have a kid, he's the last of his species except for his cousin.
Sorry my post was confusingly worded.
>Doomsday
Right, that's what it was called!
That thing seemed pretty scary the first time, but afterwords it just kept getting it's ass handed to it.
>>92335675
I dunno, maybe?
The Bat-guys never stay still long enough to ask questions, so nobody really knows anything about them but guesses.

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Loneliness + Alienation + Fear + Despair + Self-Worth ÷ Mockery ÷ Condemnation ÷ Misunderstanding x Guilt x Shame x Failure x Judgment n=y where y=Hope and n=Folly, Love=Lies, Life=Death, Self=Darkseid

>>92329245
Wayne SPECIFICALLY announced that he'll hire people with criminal record as part of his rehabilitation program, what are you doing gooning around?

Otherwise, go for Cobblepot, he's got some low-risk jobs, including legal ones.

>living in gotham like a pussy

come to bludhaven you cowards we'll fight

>>92329592
Yes, it's that phone app developer guy, the preppy blond kid from Burnside.

>Be American
>Get shot
>Get Jokerised
>Get kidnapped by parademons
>Get crushed under rubble from demigods brawling
>Get blown up by falling space ship
>Get frozen/acidified/incinerated by random villain
>Get experimented on by secret organisation

You dumb fucks talking about Gotham likes its a shithole when your entire country is Ground zero for megadeath events.

>>92335734
genuinely the most cringe-inducing piece of comic book writing i've encountered

>>92335726
>The Bat-guys never stay still long enough to ask questions, so nobody really knows anything about them but guesses.

Just long enough for a selfie and duckface.

>>92335734
>Future jokers henchmen

>>92335749
Being a low life surface dweller is bad in general.

>>92335711
It's exactly what Gordon does and I'm sorry you couldn't get through high school long enough to learn how the city government works.
>>92335719
Exactly.
Gordon can't fix everything but he basically deputized Batman (hence the fucking signal, I don't even know how some retards claim Batman is "just a vigilante" overlook it) and works with him incognito. There's some cops in Gotham in bad but some are good.

You're totally write about the city justice system; the judges are idiots and state law needs to be revised to the rest of the country's level so that they CAN'T use the insanity defense for what are obviously acts of terrorism or murder or theft. I think part of it is that every DA since Dent got his face melted off is a dithering retard who can't do his job.

You know that's the REAL reason all these crazies say in Gotham?
Because if they got arrested outside city limits or went to NYC or Metropolis where sentencing laws are actually sane they'd get a lethal injection.
>>92335739
Sorry, I'm too busy having a real job and not living in a decaying Rust Belt pisspot.

>>92329866
Cobblepot sexes up a lot of his workers, probably knocked some of his waitresses and payed for alimony. No official comment from the big O, but the kid said so in an interview.

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Why haven't the russians nuked this thing out of orbit yet.

Who has jurisdiction over space?

>be Atlantean
>hot queen
>no batfag

>>92335719
>I bet they just keep them alive for that rumor of some sort of supervillian squad Amanda Waller has.

Okay, Waller's "squad" is an urban myth, but she IS totally sketchy.
I mean what even is her JOB? She shows up everywhere for every press briefing and is always there but nobody seems to know what she does for the government.
>>92335767
That shit gets posted up on Facebook but they're always gone when anyone else gets there.
>>92335790
The UN has an agreement with them, there was a press release about it.
Seriously, watch more of the news guys.

>>92335794
I used to thing that people were kidding about Atlantis before they invaded last year for like, no fucking reason at all.
Aquaman was all name-dropping Atlantis in press-statements but I figured he was just from Happy Harbor and got bit by a radioactive lobster or something and was embarrassed to talk about it.

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>>92335807
>Seriously, watch more of the news guys.

Ahaha, yeah no not after this shit Riddler pulled.

>>92332109
She's in Burnside, saving queer prostitutes n shit.

>>92335788
Who would fuck Cobblepot?
I was at one of his public event things and he looked like a total weirdo, AND he smelled like fucking raw anchovies.

>>92335779
>Sorry, I'm too busy having a real job and not living in a decaying Rust Belt pisspot.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH hows the job security in the circus manufacturing game?

>Batman isn't a vigilante
He is, though tbf in a shithole like Gotham I don't blame him. But he isn't held accountable to society and his methods are illegal. The signal on the roof is a sign of just how bad things are, because everyone knows its illegal but the GCPD brass and mayor know its necessary.

>What a commissioner does
A commissioner is a civilian position that works to keep the police in line and work out corruption. Gordon acts like a captain, not a commissioner. If he spent more time at his desk working on rooting out all the shitty cops then maybe the GCPD might to be so shitty.

>>92335790
JL has an agreement with the UN. You get some countries like the US and most of the West, where the JL can operate freely. Then you get other nations where the JL can intervene in natural disasters and global events, but are subject to a retrospective examination and are NOT allowed to intervene in internal affairs. Then you have nations like Russia, Chian etc which have their own Meta security arrangements.

>>92335838
What even are you on about? That looks like Power Rangers footage or something. It's guys like you who give Gothamites a bad name with your dumb paranoia.
It's easy to live here; watch the news frequently, avoid the bad neighborhoods, NEVER go into any abandoned buildings (because they aren't fucking abandoned) never visit any in-state amusement parks (they all suck anyway), never go into the sewers, never borrow money from Copplepot, never go to any masquerade or costume parties, never go to the Botanical gardens, and avoid Crime Alley.

See? Done. All problems fixed.

>>92335844
Dudes rapey as fuck. Not like forceful but I think a girl would have to be brave as fuck to say no, simply because of the implication. Dude does not react well to denial. Honestly creeps me out waaay more than some of the other Gotham nuts, because Penguin is a petty little shit

Plus golddiggers, sluts used up by wayne lex queen etc but still desperate for their 15 mins of fame (or 20 seconds in cobblepots amiright).

>>92321691
Fuck the bat, there's so much weird shit going on in Gotham. Supposedly there's a low level metadude that can control hordes of rats, heard some GCPD officers talking about him. With all the weird shit in this city, it wouldn't surprise me if it's true. Living in New Jersey sure is pleasant...

>>92335543
Yeah, it's obvious. Maybe Batman was also succeeded by some of the Robins.

But it's all a Wayne op to protect his business anyway.

>>92335604
He was literally right there in the street fighting a kaiju in golem armor you dolt. It was daylight, there were cameras around. Lukr more.

I wonder what would happen if the Metropolis press started operating in GC. Those guys can dig up a scandal like no tomorrow. I'd love to see them trying to dig up shit on cobblepot.

>>92335860
>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH hows the job security in the circus manufacturing game?
I work computer security at Wayne Enterprises dipshit.
How'd your lack of health insurance treating you? Are internet memes making up for a lack of a high school educaton yet?

>He is, though tbf in a shithole like Gotham I don't blame him. But he isn't held accountable to society and his methods are illegal. The signal on the roof is a sign of just how bad things are, because everyone knows its illegal but the GCPD brass and mayor know its necessary.

He's officially deputized.
Gordon said so in like the first press release he did as Comissoner.
Now you're going to say Superman had no right to stop that one guy from blowing up the Earth or something equally retarded; superheroes have been around since WWII, Batman isn't even being original since Wildcat did the "animal guy in black" first anyway.

>Gordon acts like a captain, not a commissioner. If he spent more time at his desk working on rooting out all the shitty cops then maybe the GCPD might to be so shitty.
Granted. Dude does do a lot of fieldwork. He should run for mayor though. Can't be any more retarded then Hill is.

>>92322653
Nigger he's a part of the JLA we see him on tv anytime some dumbass alien or interdimensional dictator comes down here asking to get his clock cleaned by Superman and Wonder Woman. What he possibly does for the team I have no idea but he is there and he is really.

you are a fucking casual and you should feel bad, no one in the DCU would deny Batman's existence with how many times he's stopped the Joker alone.

>>92335646
Looks like Barbara Gordon from that picture, the comish's daughter who was raped and crippled, then somehow walked again.

Seriously, that mask doesn't hide anything. It's probably just the Gordon girl cosplaying, because:

1) Real Batgirl has better armor than this cosplay shit.
2) Real Harley hasn't used this look since forever, she's blonde with red and blue endings now.

>>92335890
Ugh, I know.
Is Queen that guy in Star City, the mayor who used to be rich before he lost it all on...something?
So....like, he's Green Arrow, right?
I mean, they have literally the exact same beard. Is is supposed to be a secret, or is it like Wildcat and Old Green Lantern where they just wear the mask out of tradition?

Guys, a green ring flew into my room the other night and it's just floating there.

What do?

>>92335892
New Yorkers can get bent, I swear just because they can't hack it in Gotham they make fun of Jersey constantly.
>>92335897
Batman looks about the same age, mid to late 30's, so I think it's the same guy, except for a year and a half there he looked twenty five again though, no idea what that was about.
That was when the Robin with the sword showed up, and I think he's...the second? Third? They must all dye their hair to keep the illusion up.

And Wayne can't plot anything.
He's a nice guy and he signs off on my checks but he's a total retard.

>>92335979
EBay or something? Who cares.
Sounds sketchy to me.

>>92335979
Don't touch it, it'll probably give you cancer.

>>92335928
I live in Metropolis, DOD contractor on ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.

>He's officially deputized.
Gordon doesn't have that power. You can't just deputise someone anymore, not since the elder days of the wild west.
But even then, the big issue is the fact that Batman isn't held accountable, and isn't publicly registered under his real name.

Superman is, he doesn't have a secret identity. If you look, you can see his real name (Kal-El) which is what he is officially named on his JL membership.

>Can't be any more retarded then Hill is.
Yeah agreed. Gordon might be better as a mayor than commish, put someone else in the commissioner position, preferably someone from outside of Gotham with no family there to blackmail and have him go ham on the GCPD, get it back into shape.

>>92335958
Yeah he's Green Arrow, dude doesn't even hide it.

>>92335979
>Green
Its either Riddler or Joker. Get out, call the cops.

>>92335938
>Looks like Barbara Gordon from that picture, the comish's daughter who was raped and crippled, then somehow walked again.
Why not, Wayne did it once too right?
Not the raping thing, he had some kind of skiing accident, got paralyzed for maybe like eight months.

>Harley
You know I've lived here for years and never even knew that freakin' clown slut her a name? With the face paint and costume I just assumed it was different girls wanting to feel edgy and shit.

I can't even imagine one girl spending THAT much time around the Joker.

Why is there so much crime in Gotham? Well, Gotham was always abundant in low level manufacturing jobs and also, super villains and gangsters. The RICO laws don't affect crazy people like Joker's followers and there's hundreds if not thousands of those (remember the protests in SUPPORT of the Joker when someone shot him in the face?)

A TON of buildings are constantly getting destroyed due to all the whackjobs in Gotham, normal and metahuman alike. So there's also a lot of construction jobs here too.

But this is like a viscious circle, plenty of jobs for the uneducated here, with a large pool of poor people to boot (Gotham is the New Orleans of the north east), they can't afford to move away from Gotham, they have to move a lot due to fires and supervillains destroying their homes, so we have more innercity ghettos than almost any city in the US and that's where most of the crime happens.

Plus, the city is always flooded with drugs and guns due to corrupt and ineffectual coast guard and police.

>>92336040
>Yeah he's Green Arrow, dude doesn't even hide it.
That's what I figured.

>Superman is, he doesn't have a secret identity. If you look, you can see his real name (Kal-El) which is what he is officially named on his JL membership.
I know, but what are you gonna do?
Hand him a subpoena?

>>92336055
Hub City is worse.
Had to take a train through there once. I'm pretty sure approaching within four miles of it counts legally as having been sexually assaulted, that's how bad it is.
Bludhaven's bad too, but not "urban wasteland" bad.

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>Waynetech
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAH
*breaths*
HAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

>>92336055
>A TON of buildings are constantly getting destroyed due to all the whackjobs in Gotham, normal and metahuman alike. So there's also a lot of construction jobs here too.

WAY worse for that up in Metroplis.
Gotham's weirdos keep...decorating the buildings. Covering them in clown faces and amusement park shit, painting green questions marks over every single surface, etc.

>>92336095
Okay, you KNOW that that whole thing is a hack by LexCorp right? It's going into courts right now over it.
It'll get dropped because cases against LexCorp always get dropped, but that's no the point.

>>92336100
Comparing Metropolis and Gotham is like apples and oranges. Median income in Metropolis is waaaay higher across the board except in like one, overcrowded, poor area of the city.

Gothamites are basically mexicans in Metropolis, they go there to work menial labor jobs and shit, but can't afford to live there, so they just have to go back to Gotham when the job is done with.

>>92336084
>Hub city

Hub city needs a fucking federal intervention. I can't be the only one that thinks its absurd that Hub city is within the same conurbation as Metropolis/Gotham/Bludhaven but its fucking third world.

JL should just deploy in force there for a few weeks, clear out the majority of the scum.

>>92336135
I work at a Wayne Holdings building in Metropolis after transferring from Gotham, and yeah, you're right.
Gotham's not an urban hellhole or anything (uptown is pretty ritzy and so is most of Midtown), but the rich/poor divide is AWFUL and really hard to pull out of there. The rich folks in Gotham are REALLY rich and the poor folks can't seem to reach middle class no matter how hard they try.

I can't get over how crazy tall the buildings are here though, it's like whoever designed Metropolis dropped acid and snorted cocaine before watching the Fritz Lang film.

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>>92336161
Hub City's in like, Missouri dude.

>>92335920
>>92335890
Honestly I think the Metropolis press itself is a huge reason why Metropolis is so well off compared to Gotham/blud/Hub despite them being so close. None of the manufacturing in GothBludHub actually sticks to the regulations, so they cause a shit ton of smog and pollution that drives people away, creates illness and then someone dies and they shut the place down, putting everyone out of a job.
In Metropolis, the press are fucking bloodhounds. Any whiff of a scandal and they are on it. This means companies stay honest, end up staying around longer, corruption gets found out etc. Plus they have Superman too. You just can't get away with it in Metropolis. No one tries to break to law because you either get stopped by Superman or discovered by the Press.
>>92336188
Isn't it east Coast? They have docklands

>>92336213
>Isn't it east Coast? They have docklands
Riverfront docks.

>>92336169
>I work at a Wayne Holdings building in Metropolis after transferring from Gotham

So very typical, Wayne Industries keep the low level manufacturing here in Gotham, but take all the middle class jobs to Metropolis. Wayne Industries is literally keeping Gotham shitty this way. Want to climb the corporate ladder? Move to Metropolis. Then Bruce Wayne sends his money to token charities and pretends to do good for the city. Meanwhile, GCPD can't decide if they want the mafia's money or help the bat make the city better.

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>Be me last week
>Live in Gotham City, Work at local bank as a teller
>So far normal day, nothing going bad
>Suddenly someone starts yelling
>Oh fuck not another supervillian
>Expect someone like Two-Face or something to show up with his goons
>Instead its one guy in spandex withred and yellow canisters on his back
>Don't recognize this guy, must be new super villian
>he walks up to me, points his gun at me
>demands to give him all the banks money
>tells him I cant do that myself
>He gets impatient with me and fires yellow and red goo at me
>Quickly realize its ketchup and mustard
>Wtf.jpg
>He continues to shout about letting him into the bank vault until Batman shows up and kicks the shit out of him
>Shortly after the guy is in handcuffs and the police take him away
>he yells something about being the "Condom King" or something before hes taken away
>Go home and wash my shirt, more confused than Ive ever been

>>92336228
I got transferred here after that bullshit hack attack by LexCorp that the court is going to be taking a million years to put through the court system.

You think Wayne's bad? He's just a vapid idiot who stamps anything his board of directors puts in front of him.
Luther is supposedly like a saint but it's more like every bit of bad press he gets slides off of him and every court case get's so bogged down by legal framework bullshit that it goes nowhere, and since LexCorp is privately owned with no shareholders the ONLY guy calling the shots has gotta be Luthor.

I don't even know how he got elected president that one time.

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>>92336255
Kite Man is weirder.
This actually happened to me once.

>>92336256
I voted Lex
MAKE AMERICAN HUMAN AGAIN

>>92336266
>>92336255
>dubs

I got one better
>Be me, Metropolis
>In bar with buddies
>Fucking Lobo comes in, armed to the teeth with huge guns and shit
>Friend is drunk as hell, turns to Lobo
>"Nice piece mate, bet that packs a punch"
>ohshitwheresupereman.lex
>Lobo slowly turns to us, takes a deep drag on his cigar.
>Bar is silent
>Lobo then chats with us for an hour about guns
>Turns out he posts on /k/ on his downtime

Pretty cool guy.

>>92336311
What's a Lobo?

>>92336333
He's on the JLA dumbass

>>92330093
It hurts, man

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>>92321691
He's been through a lot

>>92336188
Central City is in Missouri, you put it where Keystone should be.

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TELL ME ABOUT BANE, WHY DOES HE WEAR THE MASK?

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Gotham's sport teams are such shit.

The Knights only scored 11 touchdowns last SEASON, and half of those might as well have been credited to the referee. The whole Blades team got suspended after the game a few weeks back when Shuster fucking killed a meber of the Mammoths (forgot his name). They're all just a bunch of psychotic brutes hopped up on steroids.

Their only decent team is the Gotham Ballers, but i think we all know why.

>>92336501
>mfw Knights vs Metropolis Meteors
>10-65 in Wayne Stadium
>Meteor fans chanting 'There is more than one joke in Gotham' 2 weeks after Joker rampage

Gotham hasn't been wrecked that hard since Atlantis invaded.

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>his country has villains

friendly reminder that if your nation doesn't have a super-powered protector to tear villainous scum limb from limb it's a complete shithole

>>92336578
Some people just have no fucking decency. Just don't let it get to you and look on the bright side, at least there isn't really more than one Joker.

>>92336729
>He thinks im Gotham
I'm a Meteor fan you pleb.

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>>92321691
They do get new habitats every year, as people who manage to scrap even a miniscule amount of cash move ot of Hub City

>>92321691
>people STILL live in [insert shitty country]
people are stuck in shitty jobs and simply aren't able to leave

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Gothamfag here. The only good thing about living here is how easy it is to get contraband.

Otherwise, you don't feel safe anywhere. The news shows between 2 and 100 murders every night and none of the cops seem to be able to do anything (I swear they're just another gang).

Last week these people just started hallucinating downtown in the middle of the night. Tons of car accidents, at least 12 people died and much more injured. They can't even identify what caused the hallucinations.

At least I can get heroin on any street corner.

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I haven't lived in Gotham for years, but I have to ask, does Batman still bring that retarded hound with him everywhere?

Last time I saw him, he was helping him stop another bank robbery, and the little shit peed on my shoes! I'd drive the 18 miles back up there just to kick him for that.

Hello men of the internet, I am from Themyscira and by Zeus' grace we were given access to the internet. We recieved information from our Princess that the masked man that costumes as a bat, the one you call 'Batman' is none other than Bruce Wayne. Farewell men, may we not see you in our paradise.

>>92336578
Fuck, The Mammoths were the ones on a rampage. 7-1, with 4 wins in a row.

>>92336896
>Roleplayers try to derail this factual thread
I want /tg/ to leave.

>>92328353
>>WAHHH don't talk shit about my crime infested city
>>Batman is GOOD for Gotham
said no one ITT fuck off metro

>>92328555
> someone starts a batman thread
> topic changes to Mr. Wayne
never change /go/

/ck/ here, what are the best places to eat at Gotham?

I hear Penguin runs a nice joint.

>>92337495
Just don't call him "penguin".

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>>92336896
>the one you call 'Batman' is none other than Bruce Wayne
Bruce Wayne is clearly Green Arrow you dumb amazon bitch

>>92337738
Where is his fucking beard then?

>>92337798
it's a fake beard

>>92337821
So, Bruce Wayne drives all the way to Star City, makes himself look like Mayor Queen with a domino mask, all to shoot green arrows at random people?

William of Ockham would have a word with you.

>>92337944
if he doesn't travel long distances all the time then why does Green Arrow need the arrowplane?

>>92321691
>redpill

Go back to /pol/, Luthor-voter.

While we're on the topic of superman, anyone notice how superman went from fratbro to dad overnight?

>>92337495
If you're going for seafood don't eat anything that claims to be caught local. You have no idea the shit they put in the water. I swear last time I went fishing in Gotham bay half the fish were mutated to hell

>>92338087
He went bro mode when he came back from Doomsday. Before that he was in those red pants. Then he sort of faded from public sight for a bit, wore that black and silver suit without the cape. Since then he returned to the public eye with the Red belt, the current look.

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Awesome thread :-)

Goddamnit, you out-of-towners always piss me off with this shit.
Yeah, Gotham looks bad if all you're doing is watching that mainstream media channel 52 liberal bullshit, but this city's always been about tough people, ok? Has it been rough? Yeah, sure, what place hasn't, but my nana didn't come here from Romania to raise a quitter. That's what pisses me off though is with all this tough shit going on they never show you the good

When the water supply was poisoned? People came together, churches and mosques were giving out free water, and our mayor actually did shit, legal or not, to get it back on track. Why ain't you asking people in Flint why they haven't moved?

When that "Zero Year" shit went down and that game show reject was talking about evolution and getting smarter? You should see how many people were rising up to that shit and getting creative, making all these gadgets and whatnot. Hell, I had this guy living next door who raided his fridge's ketchup and mustard bottles and called himself the condiment king. It's the liveliest I'd seen that guy since his wife left him.

When the earthquake hit, and we were labeled a No Man's Land and all this crazy shit, like guys made out of cockroaches and mute ninjas kept popping up, people met that shit with gusto. Grabbing pipes and bats and whatever we could to protect ourselves. Even the kids toughened up. I'd see this one scrappy kid with a high and tight calling himself a general and getting other kids to get away from their gameboys and shit. Now THAT'S a proactive youth. 'Sides, Cali's got a ton of earthquakes, and they build their houses on cliffs ffs.

When this guy with a pig mask got us all addicted to heroin, we not only pulled through together, even former addicts rose to the occassion for support, and gave us an understanding that that shit wasn't a choice. We respected each other more, came together. Even the cops started getting more on the level.

>>92338080
someone like Luther is the leader Gotham needs. We have criminals running around destroying the city and the only one that's doing anything to even mitigate it is some freak dressed up as a bat and he just lets the fuckers go. We need to clean slate and a strong leader to make that possible

>>92338633
That's why when the Joker did some hoodoo shit and turned every costumed lunatic into a clone, Gotham stayed tough. When people's phones started turning them into blue one-eyed death machines, Gotham stayed together. When the dead came back in black? Just another tuesday in Gotham, baby. When that whole Darkseid is catchphrase was goin' around? We barely noticed. It's why we got guys like theBat crew and Green Lantern (the one with the cape), and that one ninja chick in the red, and the guy in the ravs, and that Simon Dark fella. Gotham builds 'em tough, and keeps 'em coming. So you can take your faggy boy scouts, and your speedy fuck-ups, and your ring wearing power rangers and get the fuck outta here.

>>92338756
preach brother

>live in Hub City
>commit crimes all day, erry day
>nothing happens
Feels good man.

>>92321691
Tbh I only stay here for Batwoman.

>tfw robbing banks and getting beat up by her

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>tfw you'll never be the Carpenter's henchman
it sucks man


It feels like the only bad guys who hire people on a consistent basis are the cunts who think killing their own henchmen is ok

>>92329401
>wants to work as a goon
>expects special treatment for being a female

That only worked for Harley Quinn and that's just because she rides her boss's dick. So unless you plan on giving some head to Two Face you'd better start being less picky with your employers.

>>92332424
I'm surprised they even have Internet access. That place is a 40s shithole.

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>>92335429
>things that happened

>>92335807
>I mean what even is her JOB? She shows up everywhere for every press briefing and is always there but nobody seems to know what she does for the government.
I think she's like some black ops shit or something.

My uncle's actually an ex-Delta guy (got his leg blown off, honourable discharge), and he told me, no joke, that he's seen her occasionally at special forces training camps and shit.

>>92338756
Hey, aren't you the guy who got his left nut burned off by a stray Firefly blast?

>>92335934
"""""""THE JOKER"""""""""
Sure motherfucker. Of course, all of the mass murders and gas leaks in gotham belong to one stupid motherfucker who dresses like a clown! Use your fucking brain, the Joker is a scapegoat.
>holocaust deniers
>9/11 truthers
>moon landing hoax
Are you fucking retarded? People will believe anything

>>92335452
I saw her hanging out with this guy who looked like Sean Connery a while back.

Why does every batman thread always derail into "Bruce Wayne is Batman"? It literally makes 0 sense.

>>92343932
It's some kind of dumb Gotham meme. They just want their billionaire to seem like a cool guy like Lex. Unfortunately Bruce Wayne is just some playboy.

>>92344006
Lex luthor is an evil psycopath.