Kelly, you madman!

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Out of all of Kelly's ego-stroking cartoons, this one may be the best.

>>92233944
The absolute madman

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>>92233944
That crying statue of liberty

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>>92233944
First Chelsea Clinton now Melania?

Kelly...you rapscallion you!

>>92233944
Wouldn't this be considered treason or something?

>>92233944
She's all plastic, Kelly.

>kelly cucks trump

I didnt know I wanted this

>>92234509
If anything, this is patriotism.

>>92234509

Fucking the President's wife isn't treason, but it'd probably still ruin your life socially at least.

>>92234509
Kelly is filling in for the president who is very busy, Kelly is helping him, it's very patriotic!

>>92234581
But she's an immigrant who got her green card through marriage after a work visa. Does not compute!

>>92234509
Is fucking the president's wife treason? I don't think so it just would mean you kek'd the entire country and especially the leader of the free world.

There's not really anything anyone could do except Trump could sue his wife for adultery I guess

>>92234623
It's for the good of the country. Such self sacrifice!

>>92233944
Kelly's outdone himself whew

>>92234644
>Trump suing his wife for adultery

God, would that be a circus.

>>92234604
Why not? Trump bragged about shagging other men's wives behind his wife's back.

Its clearly a part of his people's culture.

>>92234671
I think New York is a no fault state, so he could divorce for any or no reason but regardless of reason, unless domestic abuse, everything is split 50/50. Its why his first and second divorces were so nasty, to the point they fought in papers over Eric's computer.

>>92234604
>fucking an Eastern European whore
>ruin your life socially
Naaah.

>>92234749
Do you think the reason she doesn't go to the White House is they won't let her squat in the hallways with vodka?

Didn't Kelly say that Trump isn't living up to his words, just last week?

Kelly is based as fuck. I'm amazed Jewnavision hasn't shut it down yet.

>>92234874
>chavs and neds
>slavs
What's with you whites and squatting and drinking?

>>92234623
>filling in

I'LL SAY!

>>92235042
Both squatting and drinking help to take the pain away.

>>92235042
The Scythians were very successful and migrated far, bringing their culture of horseback riding, squatting, drinking, wearing loose attire, and fapping to musclegirls far and wide.

>>92234581
I agree. Turning Trump into a literal cuck would be the most hilarious thing ever.

>>92233944
Lol, he's chcking Donald Trump. Perfect

>>92234874
Well, more likely that their marriage is on the ricks and she has been just keeping up appearances as much as she could tolerate. You can kinda tell from the way they behave in public that they probably don't really like each other.

>>92235130
According to /pol/ it doesn't count unless a participant is black, and the loser is always the white man even if he is having sex with a black woman.
Which is just crazy, everyone knows Kirk>Picard.

>>92235262
Actually it seems Trump loves his hit wife but she hates him. She's probably gonna stay in Trump's tower just so she doesn't have to physically be with him or see him for the most part. He should be going there instead of golfing if he really loved her though I suppose.

>>92235262
speculating about other peoples relationships is the definition of pointless gossip

>>92235351
Remember the inauguration? He took off from the limo and left her, greeted the Obamas without her while she was trying to get out of the car until secret service helped her.

She's a trophy wife, and not the kind you pretend to be actually in love with.

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>>92233944

>>92235356
Pointless gossip is people who have 0 relevance to you, like celebrities.

The relationship status of the face of the country who sets the tone of the culture is not pointless.

>>92235349
>implying that Melania isn't getting plowed by a different manly black dude every day

She's cooped up in a golden tower hundreds of miles from her fat, sweaty husband. She's not going to pass this chance up.

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>>92235439
>Remember the inauguration?

Yeah, I was one of the thirty people who attended.

>>92235561
How much did he pay for you to show up?

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>>92235561
Fuck you, Hiro.

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>>92233944
What was he trying to achieve with this?

>>92235525
At his weight and actual height, he's beyond fat. He's literally clinically obese.
He also thinks exercise kills you, McDonalds for every meal is fine, and that literally all medicine is poison. How he made it to 70 is a miracle.

>>92235593
After me and my friend spent the whole evening pissing on him he gave us free tickets. Hi, my name's Natasha and I am definitely not a prostitute from Stalingrad

>>92235706
Not to mention he's under a tremendous amount of stress thanks to having to do actual work for the first time in his life. And like any 80's business guy he loves his cocaine.

People are fantasizing about impeaching him in 2019 after the midterms but I'd be surprised if his heart didn't explode by then.

>>92235706
Money, son. Plus apparently he has a red button on his desk where he orders pespi( or was it coke). People get nervous when they're in his office.

>>92233973
This or the one where he drew himself as a hero saving Chelsea Clinton from what he imagines was a loveless marriage?

>>92235706
>He also thinks exercise kills you, McDonalds for every meal is fine, and that literally all medicine is poison.

Living the dream desu.

>>92235439
>a trophy wife

She was a millionaire before she ever met him. She would have to be as retarded as you and greedier than George Soros to marry Trump for his money.

>>92235805
>Not to mention he's under a tremendous amount of stress thanks to having to do actual work for the first time in his life. And like any 80's business guy he loves his cocaine.

I probably should have expected this thread, like every other Kelly thread, to be full of bait.

>>92235908
>he thinks the rich marry for love

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>>92233944

FAKE NEWS!!!

This is the original.

>>92235952
looking to marry for love is a waste of time, you have to marry someone that you can actually respect or your "love" will disappear and you'll just look for action on the side

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>>92235850

>>92235933
Yeah, he's insanely afraid of anything that alters his body since his brother died an addict and Donny decided to blame the massive amount of rockstar booze and drugs rather than him and his dad making sure bro knew Donald was the only good son. So no cocaine.

But as for stress, yeah. He's admitting he hates the job and desperate for the illusion he's well loved on top of realizing he doesn't know much about anything and everyone knows it. His veins must be so under pressure that if he got a paper cut he'd spray like Raimi movie blood.

>>92236392
>TRUMP: American Horror Story
>Directed by Sam Raimi

would buy tickets for.

>>92236120
"True love" is just friendship with sex. "Loving marriage" is just being friends and fuckbuddies with someone you like having as a roommate.

That's the best mentality to have.

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>>92235969

>>92234155
Batman does not eat nachos!

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>>92234942

>>92236825
>Against breakfast burritos
I can't. Oh god help me, I can't agree with Kelly on this. I'm a bad American.

>>92236866
America overwhelmingly voted for pancakes.

>>92233944
og back to /pol/

>>92233944
...
is this supposed to be funny?

>>92236907
They even warned us. They said if Trump lost there would be a taco truck on every corner.

HOW COULD WE TURN OUR BACKS ON UTOPIA.

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>>92234509
Things are different here bong.

>>92235356
Hey, just look at how cold they are toward each other in public.

>>92235351
If he loved her, he wouldn't treat her like shit in public. I think he views her as a possession to show off. That's not love.

>>92233944
At this point I refuse to admit this isn't ironic

>>92233944
>The failing Stan Kelly

>>92237244
>At this point
wow

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>>92236907
>overwhelmingly

>>92234604
>>92234644
>>92234749
Monica got into a lot of trouble for it so it probably would

>>92235356
It's not really speculation when it's confirmed they don't even sleep in the same bed, and that's when they're together.

>>92236442
Raimi is too good for AHS.