Conan vs 10,000 Millennials

>>92200800
What's the terrain like? Is he surrounded?

OPs mouth vs 10,000 dicks

I...I think OP would win.

>>92200836
This is true. If he's got a chokepoint then it's no contest.

>>92200836
He is in a basement. It belongs to an Anons grandmother but is used as the millennial HQ. He has the element of surprise however as the Millennials are deep in table top gaming night and theres warm cookies served to them by a sweet grandma that doesnt mind at all.

>>92200915
>10.000 people are playing table top game in the basement of an old lady

Gonna be a tad crowded down there...

>>92200800
Define "winning"

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I don't know man, you can order anything online. Millennials can quickly gain weapons and then learn to use them by watching videos.

>>92201005
>implying Amazon is faster at delivery than Conan is at beheading.

If he's armed, probably one or two fatalities and up to a dozen casualties.

Flip the situation and a bunch of unarmed barbarians against a millennial with a sharp weapon you'd have around the same.

/co/mrades be watching too many cartoons thinking that sword can just lop off heads by the dozen and pure numbers won't trump what are still mortal and normal men.

>>92201230
but millennials have low will saves, meaning they're likely to flee after the first few casualties.

also i bet one unarmed barbarian could take on a millennial with a sharp weapon easy.

>>92200800
>kids call the cops.
>conan gets shot.
>kids protest cops

>>92201230
You have just shown the entire world that you have never touched another human being, much less a muscle bound warrior pumped full of adrenalin and swinging a sword too heavy for nearbout all Millennials to even lift two-handed with bended knees. Sir, softbodied autists THINK their piercing rage screeches are intimidating and effective...and MAYBE 10,000 wailing mamaboys at once could frighten a man like Conan into a flight response but i do not think I would bet my life on that strategy. Conan has killed hordes of flying dinosaurs. You just arent going to train on PS3 16 hours a day and get any kind of good grip on the man.

>>92201530
maybe
see >>92201440

>>92201230
And...ummm...casualties and fatalities are the same thing, nimrod.

>>92201568
they're similar but not exactly the same.
casualties don't always die but fatalities do.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casualty_(person)

Conan would kill hundreds in the initial skirmish but sheer weight of bodies would begin to tire even his mighty thews. After the first slaughter Conan would be clever enough to either break their morale, sending millennials running so he could recover, or subtly retreat himself to fight another day. Then a deadly game of cat-and-mouse begins. It troubles Conan nothing to end the life of one petty millennial, but with each he slays the others begin to shake off their soft future and become in tune with their primitive kill-or-be-killed lizard brains. Even in these hipster dinks, ultimately, will once again rise the blood of ancient Hyperborea or Aquilonia.

To start the millennials will try to order guns through the internet: guns they will be too dead to fire when delivered. But with time and death (the effect of time) they will be sharpened by the stone-like prowess of Conan. Now they order shovels and ropes to lay traps for him. Now they hunt beasts and clothe themselves in skins and mud, as camouflage. No more will they microbrew; now they will microforge - forge raw steel into stout axes and shields they will learn to use in murderous primal heartbeats. I expect they will probably fracture into groups, or perhaps the single strongest millennial will fight his way to leadership as did the warlords of old. Their souls will begin to burn like the sacred Fyre Festival itself.

Perhaps Conan could slay such a warlord to seize leadership of the millennials. If not then I think eventually - tragically - even Conan himself will fall. Perhaps 2000 of them will be left: but they will no longer be millennials. They will have lived the life of blood and chaos for too long. The rule of Crom will be upon them: a grim and loveless rule that has awakened their power to strive and slay. When their enemy finally falls them will pile him upon their own dead and light a mighty funeral pyre, then go forth into the world to conquer. In this way will Conan the Cimmerian triumph.

>>92200800
He'd kill two or three before dozens of millennials tackle and disarm him. They tear off his loincloth and force him to bend over. Then, one by one and without any lube, they begin inserting their cell phones into his anus. Conan tries to maintain a stoic demeanor, but even he can only take so much pain and humiliation. He begins to cry and beg for mercy, millenials have none. His anus tears and bleeds. He pisses himself. After what seems like hours, the phones rupture his colon. The pain is so intense that Conan passes out. The insertions continue. In just over an hour, Conan dies of organ failure and internal bleeding. The millennials take turns shitting on his corpse. His grave is a mountain of shit. The end!

Just hit him in the back of his head with a wood stool or the handle of an axe.

>>92202075
Underrated post

>>92202075
Very underrated post.

>>92200800
Conan is for gay people, hell, barbarians are gay as fuck. Just pick a history book.

All fags.

He would bend over, and let the millenials sodomize him.

>>92202075
Bravo anon.

>>92200800
I would annihilate Conan solo.

>>92201059

Amazon is pretty fucking fast to be fair

Realistically though Conan isn't dumb, he'd get out of there by the skin of his neck and reassess the situation

>>92202075
I've never read something so beautiful on the Internet. Howard would be proud his legacy lives on in spirit such as this.

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>>92200800
Why millenials complain so much about millenials?

Seems to be the only thing that they all have in common: They love to complain.

>>92200800
>everyone under 37 sucks

I bet you're not even 16.

>>92204047
because no one even knows what a millennial is anymore

>>92204083
half of those are igen

>>92200800

Conan would be overwhelmed, after slaying many Millennials, then instead of finishing Conan off they would bring him before their leader, who would throw him to his dungeon in chains.

Conan would not struggle against his chain, merely biding his time, appearing weak until an arrogant Millennial guard would come too close then like a panther, the Cimmerian would strike, ripping out the Millennial's throat.

Now alone Conan would struggle and strain before a weak link in the chains breaks. Now free the Cimmerian stalks the dark corridors of the Millennial fortress.

t. Robert E. Howard.

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>>92204047

Because they read the same right-wing media that their grandfathers read.

>>92200800
Would Conan survive 10000 cellphones thrown at him like weak stones?

>>92204184
>I
>coming after X

retard

>>92204047
Because most millennials think that millennial mean people born after 2000.

>DAE HATE MELLENIALS W/ THEIR SMART PHONES? RAP IS CRAP LISTEN TO REAL MUSIC WITG REAL INSTRUMENTS LIKE PUDDLE OF MUDDD


Pure cancer

>>92204690
You're getting confused, iGen is the nickname for gen Z

What do we do after Z anyway? AA?

>>92201005
>>92201059
actually due to Amazon's drone delivery system, if you're near a major metropolitan area with an Amazon warehouse this is actually possible. especially since the original scenario has Conan dealing with 10000 millennials. those sort of numbers are going to take a few hours.

>>92202075
VERY underrated post

>>92202075
please, somebody save this.

>>92204814
I am a millennial, you daft wee cunt. I can still laugh at myself.

>>92201230
Wow. You're an idiot.

>>92200800
Out of ten thousand millennials, you're bound to have several athletes. It depends on whether they're organized at all. Ten thousand is a very large number, and eventually Conan would grow fatigued. I think the millennials could win.

>>92204956
screencap this shit, mate

I can't rn.

>>92204656
No. Absolutely not. What are you, a dumb millennial?

>>92200953
Well these are guys living in said basement so I imagine at least a fair portion of that 10,000 are their fake girlfriends.

>>92205095
Its possible 10000 phones could suffocate him somehow, or maybe...MAYBE...crush him beneath their weight but if you figure he couldnt withstand 10000 phones thrown by 10000 millennials I cant help but wonder if you have ever met one. They do not have enough combined strength to affect Conans internal organs or bones on a pressure per square inch basis. They would cause some bruising and some superficial cuts, sure, and if everything goes perfect, they might put out a single eye, but theres no way they could throw them hard enough for just 10,000 to make that big a difference.

>>92204607
This. You have to be pretty fucking ignorant and deep in an echo chamber to be this fucking stupid. Most idiots that complain about millennials are usually millennials themselves, just to show you how fucking stupid they are. 4chan is full of millennials, probably the biggest demographic with whatever's next slowly catching up. At least the vast majority of any actual oldfags are, if they haven't already abandoned this shithole by now.

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>>92205120
Even non-basementers have fake gfs. It's dangerous out there these days.

>>92204656
You do know throwing little rocks at people was used as an execution method in the past, right?