AND THEN ALONG CAME ZEUS

KEKS BTFO

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WHERE TRITON IS KING AND HIS MERPEOPLE SING

>>91157585
Honey you mean HUNK-ules!

HE GRABBED UP SOME BOLTS
AND LET OUT A LAUGH
SAID "I'LL SPLIT THEM RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE
GONNA CUT THEM RIGHT UP IN HALF"

>>91157585
GOD OF RAPE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KznZcK7ksf4

>>91157775
>Channel Autism
>Abortion Chick

Get that haunted pussy outta here you cuck.

>>91158022
pretend she's a non-threatening /ourguy/ and maybe then you can focus on the message instead of the messenger.

>>91157775
>hot mess

Just like her child.

>>91157705
It's not rape if you're a god, baby.

>>91158045
Not even her son wanted to listen to her bullshit. Was he, dare I say it, our guy? What's his message?

Niggas, sing the fucking song.

BROTHERS! TITANS!

Look at you, in your squalid prison!

WHO PUT YOU DOWN THERE!?

I always thought this version of Hephaestus was pretty neat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSRULDdFvc0

>>91157585
4u

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>>91158915

ZEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!

>>91158997
>>91159002
And now that I set you free, WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU ARE GOING TO DO!?

>>91157585

HE HUUuuRLED HIS THUNDAH BOLT

>>91159025
*Teleports behind you*

>>91159025
ROAD TRIP!

>>91159028
HE ZAPPED!

>>91159086
Good answer.

>>91159028
That was remarkably well-written

>>91157585
>AND THEN ALONG CAME ZEUS

That's usually what causes the problems in these myths.

>This movie is 20 years old

>>91159636
If the the Goddesses and animals didn't dress like sluts it wouldn't have been a problem at all.

>>91160529
>"Oh shit, is that a swan? Time to get pregnant!"

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>>91157585

>>91162027
>enjoying a 20 year old CRYSTAL PEPSI

>>91158930
Why was there a cyclops in there with the Titans anyway.

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does zues throw lightning or thunder?

>>91162179
For the same reason there's only 4 titans instead of 12 (I think?), they didn't really give a fuck.

>>91162251
I get what they were going with for those titans though, destructive elemental things that the ancients would fear; earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, frost, and devastating storms. There's at least a theme going on.

Then there's just a cyclops, even within that context it seems pretty random.

>>91162236
Thunder bolt.

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Guys, Olympus would be that way

Z-Zeus, don't put your penis in thin-

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>>91162236
>>91162289
>Zeus kills with pure sound

So when is GW's lawsuit set for?

>>91158022
>channel autism
BOTCH!

>>91162322
TOO LATE

>be athenian
>get raped
>get cursed by the god you pray because you got raped in her temple
>pay debts
being athenian is hard life

>>91162340
That'll just open up a countersuit because they ditched the 80's as fuark guitar noiserifles

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>>91157585
Who would win? Aku or Zeus?

>>91162409
Probably end in sex.

>>91159636
>actual summary of Greek mythology
>Zeus: "I'm gonna put my dick in it!"
>everyone else: "don't put your dick in it!"
>Zeus: "TOO LATE"

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>>91162452
>Aku shapeshifts into Ikra to deceive Zeus as part of some grand scheme
>Can't even get out a "Hello, my name is" before Zeus has his pants off

>>91162501
Like Zeus even bothers keeping his dick tucked away

>>91162289
ZEUS CAN FUCK ANYTHING AND HE WILL AND HAS

WOMEN, DEMONS, ANGELS, ANIMALS

>>91162316

"I told you we needed a GPS device!"

>>91162531
Zeus' cock is always at attention. Priapus would jealous.

>>91162279
Probably fear of large or unknown beasts.

>>91162531
>Aku shapeshifts into Ikra to deceive Zeus as part of some grand scheme
>Can't even get out a "Hello, my name is" before Zeus has his dick inside herhim

>>91162087
Fuck I love this guy.

>that one time he had to drink two gallons of milk without vomiting or he would get tased
>chug the two gallons without barfing like a pro
>shouts "YES!" and pukes his intestine out instantly
>start begging for his life before his friend shoots him with his taser and he goes all rigid and falls on the ground

>>91162279
just there to job.

>>91157775
This video is good

>>91160503
it's coming up on its anniversary too

I'm curious what Thirty Twenty Ten thinks of it

>>91157585
Reminder that the Greek media slated this film so hard that Disney had to move the premiere from Athens to Paris

>>91164135
Why?. Mind explain it

>>91164173
I'm not too versed in what the film got wrong about Greek mythology, but you know how Hades is made out to be the outright villain and Meg is just a pawn?

Yeah, apparently in the actual mythology, Meg's kind of a bitch and was totes down with killing Herc or whatever.

>>91164198
>>91164173

Also Hades was never really a villain he was basically the only god that actually did his damn job

>>91164173
>>91164198
Is it Hades who's actually supposed to be a pretty decent guy who just happened to be Lord of the Underworld, or was that Anubis?

>>91164277
Hades

>>91159025

MAKEOVER!!

https://youtu.be/3DaXJmo9cro?t=7

>>91164277
If you subscribe to chaos magic, then all pantheons are more or less the same, but the names have changed.

>>91164173
They got Heracles' name wrong, for a start.

>>91164446
>If you subscribe to chaos magic
What's the monthly charge?

>>91164472
How much do you like to masturbate?

>>91164498
Moderately, by 4chan standards.

>>91164617
Good, because you're gonna be doing a lot of that if you don't often leave the house.

>>91164446
>Chaos magic.
I want Urgash to leave this realm.

>>91164173
>>91164198
>>91164256
>>91164447

Greek mythology accurace is pure bullshit, people still ignore that the whole thing was a almost failed attempt in uniting different religions and gods from different cities kilometers away from each other Into a giant mess of a crossover family fanfiction. It was basically "You can keep your god, but he is just part of our canon now"

Even after the empire unite, the regions continued with their own version of what was part and what wasn't part of the canon. If you asked in the north of village they could say that Ares was the god of Wisdom and already in the south people would say that he was the God of potato. Every mythological story brings their own version of how the gods, titans and creatures are.

>>91164198
>Meg's kind of a bitch and was totes down with killing Herc or whatever
Is that true? I've heard the story of how Hera made Hercules go nuts and kill Megara and their children in a fit of insanity, but I haven't heard of what you mentioned.
(The reason Hera aims to hurt Hercules like that is because Hercules was the result of Zeus cheating on Hera and fucking a mortal woman, and Hera held a grudge about that. Maybe you're mixing up Hera and Megara?)

>>91164732
Maybe he's confusing her with his third wife who accidentally kills Herc after she throws a poisoned bloody sheet on him thinking it'd make him loyal but really it just kills you the worst way imaginable.

The songs in Hercules were so fucking good. All it was missing was a good villain number.

>>91165947
how good can James Woods sing?

>>91165947
>>91166006
Hades didn't even have to sing it, The Gospel Truth II just needed to be longer.

>>91166140
Or have the Titans sing about how they're gonna fuck everyone's shit rather than that "Crush him! Freeze him! Melt him!" Scene

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>>91157585

>>91165947
>HE RAN THE UUUUUUUUNDERWOOOOOOORLD

My 9-year old balls hit the floor

>>91166481
>she
What the fuck?

Let GOW Kratos on her and see the butthurt about "He can't do this!" "Mai Waifu!" and the like.

>>91158045
>>91157775
but she's wrong and also dumb

every one of these shitty essays is an assload of reaching, cherrypicking, and misinterpretation.

>>91157775
>whats this
>hover mouse over link
>le condescending post modern nerd gurl eating a funyun cuz like it's tuesday an dshe dont give a fuk xD
No.

Hercules lyric threads are pure

The Greek chorus thing is something they should have tried again

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>>91157701
AND THEN STORM CLOUDS GATHERED ABOVE
INTO GREAT BALLS OF FIRE

>>91157775
>whats this
>hover mouse over link
>le enthusiastic film buff dissecting a classic Disney film with humour and wit
Yes

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>>91160529
I mean, who among us can say we haven't wanted to fuck young greek boys?

>>91166006
They can just dub it.

>>91162027
>autistic screeching

>>91166855
They did.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ORegK7mdeg

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I'M TELLIN' YA, HERC. YOU ARE BAENGING A GRADE-A WHOOOER!

>>91157775
>People keep having the spergy need to post this every time Hercules is mentioned

I didn't even check the link and I know what it is.

>>91162251
>4

So was the Cyclops not a Titan?

>>91167992
No, it was a cyclops

>>91167960
Wait, is that seriously a thing? Has it become a meme?

>>91157775
YOU CAN RECOGNIZE ITS FLAWS AND STILL LIKE HERCULES

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>>91166928
The last time I saw you, we had just split in two
You was looking at me...I was looking at you

I love this movie. I missed out on the recent theater run though :(

>>91158011
Source?

>>91168215
fuck I can't remember, It was some french cartoon about a satyr trying to get some ass or something

>>91166481
>5'11"

When will godlets ever learn?

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>>91167866
>No, that's a bad idea. Usually when you get involved somebody gets hurt.
>>That's ridiculous! I'm just pallin' around with Hercules. How's anybody gonna get hurt?

>>91157775
>The seeress said "in door plumbing. It's gonna be big."
What? I always thought she said "It's coming. It's gonna be big." And wondered what ominous event she was talking about.

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>>91169270
theeeeere's a bathroom on the right

>>91162834
So THAT's how daughters of Aku came to be!

https://youtu.be/6IeTWYv5zus

Hades' character design is so perfect

>>91168059
But he was locked away with them.

>>91170512
Because he was also a bad guy.

>>91170512
He's a Titan in the Disney Hercules canon, but not in Greek mythology. Cyclops are their own thing, unrelated to Titans.

>>91166507
Still wish that version had a full song

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>>91159086

>>91162409
>>91162452
Yeah Zeus wasn't above pounding some man ass.

>>91170966
I thought the Cyclopes were the Titan's brothers, and the Gods freed them to gain allies in the war.

>>91165947
WHO PUTS THE GLAD IN GLADIATOR?

>>91171044
Various Cyclops had different origins. The original Cyclops were were sons of Uranus and Gaea, and were imprisoned in Tartarus by their brother Cronus, before being freed by their nephew Zeus in the god's war against the Titans.

>>91162409
Isn't Aku like super fucking weak to ANYTHING even remotely divine because he is like the toenail of some eldritch abomination that some gods fucked up?

>>91171255
The cyclopses from the Titanomachy were brothers of the Titans, not Titans themselves and considered master craftsmen, like the Greek equivalent of Dwarves or some shit.

Anyway, Uranus locked the cyclopses and his other fuck ugly children in a vault and that pissed off his wife. She gave a sickle to Kronos, her last son with Uranus and a titan. Kronos cut off his Dad's dick with the sickle and claimed his throne. The dick turned into Aphrodite.

Kronos kept the cyclopses and other weirdos in the vault and started banging his sister. He ate their kids because he was scared of a prophecy that he'd be overthrown by his son, just he'd done to his Dad.

Turns out, that pissed off his wife so she tasked their last son, Zeus, to kill him (no sickle this time).

Zeus freed the cyclopses and they forged him the thunderbolt as his weapon. He cut open his Dad with it and his brothers and sisters poired out and together they fought Kronos and the other Titans for control of the Universe.

Then Zeus started bangig HIS sister. As well as everyone else's sister. And also animals.

>>91157775
Don't watch Lindsay but I watch her boyfriend's videos

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>>91171484
I love mythology

>>91162531

Tunics truly are the most advanced piece of clothing.

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>>91157585

>>91171484

>King puts his daughter in a prison so that nobody can access
>Zeus becomes fucking GOLDEN RAIN and fucks her in that form
>Somehow

>>91162400
The story of Medusa is sad as fuck.
The Greek God's have an absolute disdain for humanity.

Sort of similar to Eskimo religion in that regard. Their stories seem to follow the "terrible shit keeps happening to people and there's nothing they can do to stop it and then they die. And that's why we have rainbows" theme.

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>>91171484
And boys. Don't forget the boys.

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>>91171710

>>91171484
Forgot to mention that Uranus' wife was also his Mom.
So that's three straight generations of divine incest.

>>91159002
I will release you from your life my son, but your torment is only just beginning.

>>91171760
Bane, Freeze, Firefly and ???

>>91171741
It explains a lot of the problems with the Greek gods, doesn't it?

>>91171809
>Blow him away
Dick

>>91171865
It can't help.

Looking at the story of Prometheus, a Titan who created and cared for mankind, being tortured for all eternity for stealing Olympean fire and gifting it to the humans, I can't help but think that Greek Mythology is about a universe in which the bad guys won and people worship them only to stop them from torturing us.

Greek Gods were not really benevolent.

>>91172000
stockholm syndrome, just like the old testament

>>91172000
A lot of old gods were worshiped out of fear, the concept of a fully benevolent god is relatively novel, especially in ancient times.

Meg's VA voices Steven Universe's Mom

>>91172181
Makes sense, both hot women

>>91172000
Prometheus didn't do nuffin. He was good Titan.

He stole fire so mankind could thrive and got punished. Greek Gods needs to be removed.

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>Batman v Superman on the right
>big dumb popcorn flick Captain America movie on the left

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>>91166526
>Implying transforming into a woman just for sex insn't IC for Zeus

>>91168586
For a woman that is fine

>>91158930
> my optic friend
> myoptic
Damn it

>>91173583
Hercules is closer to Superman than Captain America.

>>91173980
oh fuck

>>91173583
Don't insult Prince of Egypt like that.

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>>91173583
Fuck you the Prince of Egypt was great and I enjoy Hercules for what it is.

>>91173790
It's really not in character. Zeus is the dude

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>>91174365
So was Batman v Superman

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>>91174828
>So was Batman v Superman

>>91157775
Insightful.

>>91157775
Still would

>>91157775
>click video
>half a fucking hour
Christ you couldn't make a god damn internet arguement in under fifteen minutes?

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>>91174480

Loki's the one who's into being girls.

>>91157775
>"in this video we're gonna focus on blah blah blah" she says 12 minutes in
Is she retarded?

>>91164277
Anubis was the judge of the dead, who would weigh your heart against a feather to decide if you went on to the underworld or got eaten by a crocodile.

Osiris was the lord of the dead, after he was murdered by Set. His pieces were scattered around the place. They managed to find everything but his cock, so his wifesister Isis (not the goat fuckers) had a new cock made for him in solid gold. They put him back together with his new dick, but since he was dead he stopped being lord of the normal world and started being lord of death.

>>91175860
>implying osiris didn't lied and is actually using osiris dick as a dildo

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>>91175963
what

>>91175860
Didn't he also get brought back to life with a blowjob. Also speaking of weird Egyptian god stuff. The time Uncle Set tried to rape his nephew Horus, multiple times. Then have revenge Horus tricked Set into eating cum covered salad.

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>>91157775
Well at least this taught me about how a 3-act structure goes. I feel slightly smarter

>>91176012
Whoever came up with that story was certainly working through some repressed shit

>>91157585

Is there r34 of this Zeus fucking Leda while in swan form

>>91176062
She released a follow up video that goes deeper into screenplay structure
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0QO7YuKKdI

>>91176789
There's a bunch of renaissance art of it.

>>91165024
>Here honey, you look cold. Let's cover you up-OH GODS YOU'RE DEAD!

>>91166006
He sounded pretty good in that Family Guy episode, so I imagine he'd be really good with actual good music to sing to.

>>91176949

Yeah but I want to know if they've gone full circle

>>91157775
Was not hooked at all until she showed her face. Something about her eating and looking like a slightly pretty loser. almost relatable. unusual topic of a video though

>>91171484
>The dick turned into Aphrodite.
Nah man, The super titan dick impregnated the Ocean with its last rigor mortis jisms, and from the surf came Aphrodite.

>>91171585
Golden Rain
Some stay dry while other feel the pain
Golden Raaaaain.

>>91173583
This is some second level bait here fuck

>>91166783
>>91166945
Either one of you or both of you are the girl in the link

>>91176012
Nah Set legitimately seduced Horus into totally consensual gay anal sex since the Gods led by Ra issued a Rape Battle Royal to settle the dispute once and for all. At the last minute before Set busted his Nut, Horus remembered that the entire fate of Egypt rested on proving the virtue of his rosebud and that maybe having sex with his uncle was a bad idea so he pulled out and caught the semen in his hand instead.

Besides Horus and Isis cheated in pretty much every challenge the Gods gave to settle the dispute with Set almost winning anyways through sheer prowess every time.

>>91171484

I have to say, whoever came up with this had an imagination to put Dr. Seuss to shame.

>>91177015
I know you're having fun but the real story is
Nessus the Centaur, same one Megara is trying to recruit in the beginning actually, offers Deianira a ride across a river. He does that, then he tries to rape her because that's a Centaur racial trait. Hercules sees this and is pissed so he shoots him with his Hydra blood tipped arrow.This poisons Nessus' blood and he knows this. So as a final fuck you he tells Deianira he's got love blood and will make Herc forever loyal to her should he stray. Deianira thinks "He seems like a trustworthy Rapist" and takes his blood for later. Herc being his daddy's son is a cheating ass so she gets scared and covers him in a bloody blanket to make him stay. Being poisoned with Hydra blood he starts dying the most horrible death you can die. So obviously a less painful way of dying would be constructing a funeral pyre and burning yourself alive. And that's how Hercules became a full God. Also Deianira An Heroes because the guilt.
>>91172000
Nah There's no good guys or bad guys, just their own selfish interests and roles. Humans are just caught up in it all, tribute is just a fleeting chance of gaining favor. Prometheus only seems like a good guy because he has a vested interest in humanity.
>>91177928
Well they sort of had more time and more input than Seuss.

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>>91171484
THE PLURAL IS CYCLOPES, YOU DOG OF A MAN

>>91178183
>"Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest."

>>91162989
Kek

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>>91171687
>>91162400
I mean to be fair by greek standards Rape isn't really rape in our context.
It's just taking pussy you're not allowed to take, but that doesn't necessarily mean it was non consensual.
Medusa being Athena's priestess with vows of chastity meant that wasn't hers to give up especially in Athena's temple.
Though getting seduced by Poseidon isn't really a crime befitting getting turned into a monster who'll be isolated and hunted the rest of her existence.

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>>91179072
>those crotch snakes
she needs to be destroyed

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>>91179142
I'll destroy her alright.

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>>91179203
you too

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>>91157585
>yfw you realize the Greeks had an actual goddess devoted to dat ass

>>91171484

>penis mutation
>vore
>incest

This sound like a shitty fetish fan fiction.

>>91157775
Fuck it I'm gonna link to something better and yet equally pointless commentary.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lUe46EOcvY

>>91179072
>rape isn't rape

You've lost me, anon

>>91179975
Rape originally meant abduction. As time went on rape began to mean forced sex, since that typically went along with the abduction. Atleast that is the explanation I heard, I never really bothered looking into it further.

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Why did The Prince of Egypt look so much better than Hercules despite only coming out one year later?

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>>91179975
What we translate as rape isn't really an exact translation. A lot of the myths aren't really about non-consensual sex, some aren't even about sex. We just use that word but in reality Ancient Greeks possibly didn't have an exact word for rape as we define it and a lot of people didn't really have the right to consent in the first place, especially young women. So in the case of Medusa, It could have been Poseidon struts in and actually woos Medusa but that wasn't for her to decide.
I mean it's still fucked but it's a different kind of fucked.

>>91173980
omg

>>91180241
>persephone
Speaking of, when Hades kidnaps her it's also referred to has rape even though nothing sexual is taking place at the time

>>91164447
HONEY YOU MEAN HUNKULES

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That's great but I like sumerian mythology better

thanks age of empires

>>91181445
Drop some of that Sumerian lore on us, all I know is the name Giglamesh and Blade 3.

>>91181509
I spent most of my life assuming Gilgamesh was from Japanese folklore because of "GIRUGAMESH" and the name belonging to a recurring boss in the Final Fantasy series.

>>91171687
>The Moon follows the Sun because the Moon is the Sun's brother and he is chasing her because he is trying to rape her. Also the Sun sister cut off her own tits in protest of being incest-raped
The Inuit outlook on life is bleak.

>>91181445
how does she move?

>>91182149
You've just seen how

>>91179875
Ancient cultures have no standard of quality

>>91181987
That's why they are all alcoholics now

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For the longest time I thought Charlton Heston played Zeus but he just voices the narrator. Rip Torn plays Zeus which I find funny because maybe six years ago Torn got so drunk he mistook a bank for his house and tried to break into it.

>>91157775
just a reminder that she thinks TF: Prime is the best Transformers cartoon and that its carnation of Starscream is the best

>>91183263
>Starscream
What the fuck is with bitches and Starscream? It really is just the wounded bad boy thing, isn't it?

>>91183613
Pretty much, but I grew up with the original cartoon and the idea that fucking Starscream became a "wounded bad boy" slays me.

>>91164277
Hades is still a jerk, just less than his brothers. Mostly because he's kind of a shut-in, don't bother him and he won't bother you. He kinda got his wife through kidnapping.
People act like he was the best guy in the pantheon probably as a kneejerk reaction to this movie (and a bunch of others) portraying him as Satan because underworld ruler equals Satan.

>>91183241
I can't blame them. They grew up in an unforgiving shit hole and their mythology probably reflects that.

>>91180100
Whale sharks are cool.

>>91171770
*Does the QTE*

where do people learn this

is there some standard canon of Greek mythology and where can I read it

>>91181061
More like Jerkules
[distant sniggering]

>>91183263
>just a reminder that she thinks TF: Prime is the best Transformers cartoon and that its carnation of Starscream is the best

...But she's right.

>>91180241
I'm gonna need a source on that statue

>>91175461
>That one time he turned into a horse and got fucked

>>91187623
You're such a Spergules

>>91172000
There was a reason why it was so easy to convert the Greeks and Romans over to Catholicism. and early days Catholicism was not all that great either.

>>91158011
>
Witnessed

>>91188067
>That one time he got horse-pregnant and gave birth to a fucked-up magic horse with eight legs
>which Odin rides everywhere now
Behold noble Sleipnir, the asspennies of the gods

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>>91171484
>The dick turned into Aphrodite.

>>91164277
He was considered to be the most fair of them as far as rulers go. And he was the wealthiest of them all since all the gold and jewels found in the Earth are considered to be his property.

Zeus was more along the lines of a conqueror who was more interested in remaining in control because he won by might in combat. And Poseidon was a temperamental rage fiend who would constantly take out his anger on people and his own followers. He frequently destroyed his patron cities so not many others wanted their towns to be patron cities of Poseidon any longer.

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>>91188067
gods are weird

>>91165947

I really miss when Disney really went balls to wall with their musical numbers. Greek Mythology and Los Angeles Vibes and Sassy Gospel Singing.

Shit nowadays just seems "Frozen Checklist" - The movie.

>>91164719
I thought it was largely Hecate, Apollo, and Artemas who were the most confused as to what the hell their jobs were depending on which region of Greece you were in.

Some regions still had Helios and Selene as the sun/moon gods, Athens said they were replaced after the titanomachy.

Other times it was Aurora who was the messenger of the gods.

>>91188004
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rape_of_Proserpina

>>91188353
>Los Angeles Vibes
*Los Vegas

>>91175461
>now to widen them
THICCER

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>>91157775
I'm sorry I can't take her seriously after she insisted that Termite Terrace and Disney Theatrical Shorts were some kind of sworn enemies, or Dreamworks and Pixar for that matter. A lot of talent switched between those studios, and the heads of studios were very amicable with each other. The directors and animators themselves probably couldn't care less because it was mostly just a paycheck to them.

>>91188637
Why do moron fans think the professionals maintain the same company wars redditers do?

>>91169013
>It's Always Sunny In Thebes

>>91188348
is there any good mythology porn I can read or watch

>>91189119
>read

Just read mythology

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>>91177610
After that, the Gods called for Set's semen and it answered from inside the Nile, where Horus had disposed of it, and when they called for Horus' semen it answered from inside Set's belly, much to his confusion and horror, marking Horus as the superior god.

I'm sure Zeus would find his Egyptian friends to be quite amusing.

>>91189138
Well some Greeks thought the Egyptian Gods were just their Gods wearing funny costumes to hide from Typhon (Who they also thought was Set on a murder rampage coming to destroy Zeus after killing Osiris) when he tried to conquer Olympus. Only Zeus, Athena and funnily enough Dionysus stayed behind to protect the home of the gods.

>>91189232
>funnily enough Dionysus

Nothing funny about a drunk angry god with a goat dick that may or may not try to rape you

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>>91157775
I still want to fuck Nostalgia Chick.

>>91181509
The three main deities are Anu, God of the Sky and father of all gods; Enlil, God of the Air and Wind and King of the gods; and Enki, God of the Crafts and Wisdom. One can liken them to Uranus, Zeus and Hermes, but the last one is rather loosely fitting. There are tons of other important gods, like Shamash (god of the Sun), Nanna/Sin (god of the Moon, to whom the Ziggurat in Ur was dedicated to), Adad (god of the Storm and Agriculture), Inanna/Ishtar (goddess of war, sex, love and fertility), Ninurta (god of Hunting), Ninhursag (a mountain mother goddess), and Ereshkigal (goddess of the Underworld), to only name a few.

There are also three important myths: the Epic of Gilgamesh, which accounts for the hero and his friend Enkidu's exploits and adventures; the myth of Anzu/Imdugud, where the eponymous demon bird steals the Tablet of Destiny from the gods and Ninurta must retrieve it; and the Enuma Elish, a latter Babylonian retelling of the creation myth where their OC god Marduk proves his worth as king of the gods by defeating Tiamat, the mother of all gods and monsters.

>>91166561
What a fucking stupid post. Go away for a while an rethink your life.

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Friendly reminder that this industrious fuck was not only a Greek God, but also wound up on the Hindu AND Japanese pantheons.

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>>91162483
You could've just posted the screencap.

>>91183613
whoa homie, are you saying that Starscream isn't the flyest robot around?

>>91187891
>Not liking Steve Blum's Starscream.

>>91189119
I wouldn't call it "porn" but Valhalla has plenty of good-looking naked ladies, great art and nice spins on the classic Norse Mythos.

>>91189254
oh, I don't know, certainly makes me feel funny when I think about it.

>>91189556
for real?

>>91158011
Checked and kek'd.

>>91189922
Yup.
His name is Boreas, God of the North Wind.
He was said to be easily angered and carried a wind bag. When the Romans adapted the pantheon, they called him Aquilo.

Alexander the Great founded a kingdom on the Easternmost fringes of the land he conquered, modern-day Pakistan/Afghanistan/North-West India and for a few centuries a hybrid Greco-Indian culture flourished. Boreas was known as Wardo to the locals.
The Silk Road carried Wardo as far east as traders in China, who then took him to Japan, who called him Fujin. The Japanese adopted Fujin as their God of Wind as the Shinto religion was becoming standardized.
He never lost his anger or his windbag along the way.

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>>91190384
Forgot the damn pic

>>91189129
>>91189861
but I want to fap to porn

>>91190384
But nowadays he pretty much disappeared
So I have to ask, where's Wardo

>>91188285
Curse you merciful Posiedon!

>>91190384
neat

>>91171484
Where can I read about this kind of shit? Just browse wikipedia, or is there a a holy book that lays all this shit down?

>>91191309
Not him but when I was a kid I learned this shit from whatever mythology books they had laying around the school library and later on wikipedia. There's got to be some kind of Monstercylopedia or mythology website out there somewhere

>>91191753
theoi seems pretty good.

>>91191309
>Just browse wikipedia
This but lots and lots of it

>>91188232
Does that mean I'm gay now?!?

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>>91158104
>her husbands son

fix'd just for you big guy

>>91179603
Why?

>>91180100
A very, very, very, very, very prominent group in Hollywood had vested interest in funding it. Can't say i blame them, it made a good film.

>>91164277
Hades is kind of the Shane McMahon of the Greek Gods.

I'm really fond of the "evil Hades" archetype regardless of how Christianized it is.

I think the evil Hades in Kid Icarus Uprising is even better than the James Woods Hades, by a little bit.

>>91162400
>Be Athenian
>Support Ionian Greeks with troops and gold to kill Persians and burn one of their cities down
>get buttflustered when Persia comes down and burns Athens down
>We gud bois, dindu nuffin! Persia gunna snuff out Democracy in its infancy

What's with Democracies always sponsoring and funding terrorism and rebellion?

>>91194599
Democracies are fundamentally evil. Two wolves and a sheep vote on what to have for dinner, etc.

>>91164472
Exterminatus

>>91194781
Athen democracies made a whole lot more sense than ours. They actually voted on which major politician was the least effective in his work once their term was done. Know what they did?

That fag was left at the gates with a burlap sack and two meals. Obama would have to walk across the fucking ocean to reach Cuba if we still practiced democracy in this country. Good fucking luck with that, son.

>>91194940
Didn't most politicians who were exiled due to fear of their popularity just move to a different city state until 10 years was up?

>>91195027
10 years? They couldn't return. You served the people or you served yourself somewhere else.

Am i being heeb'd

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I like Roman mythology better

>>91158011
>>91168215
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQ17_SJD1Ak

>>91188353
i think it's because last time a Disney musical had a "style" to it was Princess and the Frog which had very forgettable jazz music. Tangled came out later and had acceptable soft-rock, was more popular and after Frozen the non-stylized music thing became the norm

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>>91172000
>>91188168

Roman mythology is thought to be identical to the Greek by pop history bullshit but it wasn't, for Romans their gods were far more abstract and mysterious, instead of the clearly anthropomorphized and flawed versions the Greeks had. In both cases though, worship of the gods was largely done out of necessity rather than belief, or hope for salvation and rest of the soul, which was largely not the god's business or even control. Romans had a state-funded and state-run religious cult who would organize the festivals, ceremonies, rituals, sacrifices and every detail of the worshipping, with appointed managers and a strict calendar for everything to go smoothly, it was basically a public service to keep the gods happy just so the common man wouldn't have to worry about it, temples with trained priests were not there to proselytize, they were not holy men, they were merely trained experts in the practices, they were like the IT that fixes your internet except the internet is the world of the gods, fate and the dead. Most of the religious cult was devoted to honoring their own ancestors and making sure they weren't spooked by restless dead than higher metaphysical concerns.

>>91180060
>>91180241

A big example of that is the Rape of the Sabines, in which Romulus and Remus straight up stole all the women in Latium to found their own city.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rape_of_the_Sabine_Women

>go into thread for choice Hercules memes
>get educated on the difference between Roman and Greek mythologies, screenplay structure, and Greek media

>>91159414
LOCKED THOSE FUCKERS IN A VAULT

>>91195666
Based. also nice dubs.

>>91196116
THEY'RE TRAPS

>>91191309
http://www.theoi.com/

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>>91194111
Didn't know Scientologists were that into Jewish mythology

learn something every day

>>91194940
They also limited voting to land owners. You had to have some minimum amount of property to vote or else you had no stake in the city and did not matter.

>>91164277
He's generally surly, but he doesn't fuck with people for fun.
He even gave that one dude a chance to get his wife back, but he turned around and lost the bet.
Also the kidnapping thing might have just been a rite of passage of the time. To prove you could protect your woman, you had to steal her from under her father's watch.

>>91198525
That was more his wife's doing. Hades was not going to give Orpheus's wife back but Persephone was the one moved by his story and told Hades to let his wife go.

Hades also got pissed off when Asclepius was resurrecting people. He went to Zeus and complained that Asclepius was stealing his property so Zeus decided that the dying can be healed but if they die then they can never be brought back.

>>91198525
But her dad literally gave him the idea
It was her mom who got pissed
According to some anon, Rape of Persephone was an allegory for a woman getting married being akin to the death of her as the mothers daughter and the fear of married life but just deal with it

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>>91157585
>GUYS HOLY FUCK MOTHER OF FUCK ZEUS JUST POPPED UP
>"CRAP NOT AGAIN, WHAT'D HE DO TO TORMENT US THIS TIME?"
>HE FUCKED OUR WIVES AND TOOK THE VIRGINITY OF OUR DAUGHTERS
>"Shit man I didn't know it was Friday already"
>Right such a long week, glad nothing new happened

>>91198910
Hades did not go steal right out, Zeus was her father and Hades already asked for her and bribed him with a shiny new lightning bolt. Zeus agreed and then Hades went to go collect.

Demeter just did not know because

A) Kings, gods and kings of gods do not need to ask womenfolk for shit
and
B) Demeter would have definitely not agreed to it

>>91198368

that was the Roman republic, Athens had a straight up noble class which was 10% of the population and only they could ever vote.

>>91181445
There are plenty of mythologies that are more interesting than Greek. Aztec mythology had the world end four times already and if we don't cut out hearts then women with snake penises will come from the stars to kill us all.

Why does Zeus fuck everything

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>>91194068
>>Why?
Is this a trick question?

>>91164277
Hades was a NEET who just wanted to rule the dead with his waifu. Sure, he got his wife via kidnapping and is extremely greedy but he doesn't rape everything with a hole for shits and giggles and plan out wars to thin the human herd.

>>91172000
Prometheus also gave humans the best meat and bones to the Gods which is a big no no.

>>91203098
Because Hera is a bitch and ugly as fuck.

>>91183263
>just a reminder that she thinks TF: Prime is the best Transformers cartoon and that its carnation of Starscream is the best

Well, how many good incarnations of Starscream are there in the cartoons? Armada, (who is basically just a Dinobot lite), Cybertron, Animated, and Prime/RiD, right?

>>91195666
Attitudes towards the Gods were also different. In Greek Mythology, Ares was a coward blood drunk asshole who embodied the worst aspects of war. The Romans viewed Mars as a honorable god of citizen soldiers, farmers and traced their lineage to him

>>91172000
To be fair, Prometheus was freed by Hercules/Heracles eventually. Still not great, obviously. But better than eternity.

>>91203092
>women with snake penises
Images?

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>>91203705

>>91197813

AND THEN ALONE PUT BULL DICK IN A SNATCH

>>91203765

Check your sssssssss privilege

>>91204075
I don't know why their fertility goddesses had snakedicks nor do I know why they ate people during eclipses, I just know that Aztec mythology is fucking weird.

>>91203098
Originally he was trying to birth the hero that would win the gigantomacy. Then he decided he just really liked fucking everything.

>>91204250
That's an interesting take on it. It kinda sets Zeus up opposite of Typhon and Echidna, the titan couple who sired almost every monster of note in Greek myth (Hydra, Chimera and Cerberos to name a few)

I always figured Zeus was like Odin All-Father but in a more literal sense

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>>91190624
You motherfucker...

>Differences between Greek and Roman religion
This is the shit I love 4chan for. I'd never really even considered that before but the idea of 2 religions worshipping the same gods in cocnept but with different interpretations/practices due to their culture is really interesting.
I shall steal this for worldbuilding purposes

>>91159025
Jerk off to anime lolis and play vidya

>>91166006
He did a little on the tv show, it's not great but he manages
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vI9a9Yq6y1w

>>91203092
The Red Snakes in aztec-mixtec codexs are a representation of blood, specific sacrifices blood. In that image the Tzitzimime, is Menstruating.

>>91194940
>Obama would have to walk across the fucking ocean to reach Cuba if we still practiced democracy in this country.

lmao

how fucking delusional do you have to be to believe this?

what is this

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>long thread
>not posting best Disney Zeus
You're getting sloppy, /co/. Even with a day-long break you're off your game.

>>91188637
The original WB animation studios closed in something like 1963. Didn't Disney's original shorts stop in something like the mid '50s?

wow /co/ really likes hercules

>>91157647
but that's thor

Boy I really liked the happy ending where Herc finally gets together with Megara.
At least until his psychobitch mom Hera possesses Herc and causes him to brutally murder Megara and their children.

>>91209778
>menstruating live snakes
As if the whole process wasn't already gross enough

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>>91190624

>>91188637
Why is it so inconphrehensible to these nerds that if youre in the industry you dont burn bridges.
Its like if youre a teacher. You dont throw shit at a rival school just cause theyre your rival cause hey, what if they start interviewing for a headmaster?

>>91191309
Homer's Heroic Cycle (we only have the Illiad and the Odyssey as complete copies, with only scattered fragments of the other books) alongside Hesiod's Theogony compromise the ancient Greek holybooks. While it was never a "holybook" (the Romans treated myth and religion more cynically than the Greeks), the Roman poet Ovid's Metamorphoses defined how Graeco-Roman myth was seen and interpreted for millennia.

The most influential and comprehensive modern books on mythology would be Hamilton's Mythology and Bullfinch's Mythology, and most of the stuff you can find online on Greek myth usually derive from them. When I was a kid, I learned Greek myth from D'Aulaires' Book of Greek Myths.

>>91171484
And later Zeus turned Athena's mom into a fly and ate her because he thought their child would overthrow him and be the new ruler of Olympus.

But somehow she was still live, the pregnancy kept going (with her as a fly, I guess) and Athena was born from Zeus' head fully grown with a spear in hands.

At least that's how I remember it.

>>91214912
>Athena was born from Zeus' head fully grown with a spear in hands.
Furi Kuri!

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>>91157585
>AND THEN ALONG CAME ZEUS
and came
and came
and came
and came

>>91157775
never fucking link this garbage here ever again

>>91216764
Gee Zeus! How come your Mom lets you have NINE wives?