Whomp/Ronnie

Yeah
That's the stuff

>>90891959
The speed at which you move is irrelevant, it's how much time you have left until you arrives at your destination. Below 20 minutes you're trapped.

Pretend you have a phonecall and move as it is very personal call and then casually sit somewhere else.

>>90892100
Yeah well I don't give a fuck about what other people, especially strangers think of me.

Just kidding if I do that shit I always walk way further and usually into another part of the train to avoid having them see me. It gets awkward when you encounter them again before you get out, though.

I usually move away once an open seat with no one on either side opens up.

>Be on train to work
>Make accidental eye contact with person
>We both look away within 2.8 seconds as to not break commute conduct
>Look out of window
>Make eye contact with his reflection

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>>90891959

>>90891959
This exact scenario happened to me and a young lady so I'm thinking to myself "is this rape?"

>>90892176
Man I wish I had autism. It's like a super power; they always come up with ingenious solutions, and very easily too!

>>90892250
This is great. You should make it into a movie.

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>>90892337
what kind of world do we live in when a man has to ask himself if he's raping a girl for sitting next to her too long on public transportation?

>>90892507
An extreme left, the guy is probably Swede or Canadian

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>wake up super early in the morning to catch the train.
>I'm always one of the first to get on it.
>I can sit anywhere I want
> sadly it's the only train to pass near the hospital and 5 minutes later the train is full of sick/old people
>there's always some cunt who wants my seat and can't stop stepping on my shoes or poking me with an umbrella or whatever until they make me act like a gentleman and give them my seat.
>every fucking day for 10 years.

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>>90892337
I wish there were trains around here. That sounds like the start of a romantic comedy.

>>90893092
I know this feeling
Aren't there seats specially designated to old-people/preggos/ill? Seat far from them, always in the window's seat looking into the distance- at least that way is a bit harder for them to complain

>>90892507
>>90892809
I was asking if I was being raped.

>>90891959
just pretend to fall asleep or stare at your phone

>>90891959
>>90891959
I've had this moment

I just move, but I do get paranoid that I'm doing something weird by doing that

>>90892507
>>90892809
Is it depressing not having a sense of humor?

>>90893228
at that hour in the morning like 90% of the people in the train are old-people/preggos/ill, only a bunch take it to go to work or high school.

>>90893325
comedy is derived from fear, juxtaposition and confusion, so arguably not having a sense of humor is a good thing.

>>90893416
>comedy is derived from fear, juxtaposition and confusion
Nah it's derived from things that are funny.

>>90893295
After you move stretch out over a few seats to pretend it was to have more room instead of to get away from another person.

I honestly did not understand the joke at first.
Are you really meant to give a shit about what people think if you move seats in public transport?
I was sure the joke was that people vanished for some reason and Ronnie and old black man were stuck in their seats, I was very confused.

>>90893883
Whomp clearly isn't the comic for you

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>>90893883
It shouldn't matter. But to those who constantly analyze how their every action may be perceived by others and whether or not it could break some societal rule that only you aren't aware of, it is a very frightening situation.

>>90894137
But I find it funny most of the times, this just didn't made sense to me, I guess I am not that much of a sperg as I thought.

This is why I always sit at the back of the bus. So when I move seats it is like I'm just moving closer to the front door

You could get up at the next stop, step off as the doors open, and walk right back onto the adjacent train car before they close again.

>>90893228
>Aren't there seats specially designated to old-people/preggos/ill?
Yes, but when the train has free seats, then able-bodied people are welcome to sit in the handicap seat and are expected to get up if somebody who needs it more comes on.

>>90894205
A little noteworthy context is that Ronnie is from the american south, and I think this is his second time now in a visit to an area where he's reliant on public transport. He neurotic at the best of times, but here he's much less familiar with train etiquette than somebody that lives with it regularly.

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>>90891959
I love it when Ronnie goes to PaxEast and comes back with Boston inspired comics.

>>90894876
I've lived in boston my whole life and I still feel like he does

>>90892250
>make eye contact with his reflection

NIGGA THIS IS THE WORST SHIT

You ain't even looking in a motherfucker's direction but still manage to lock eyes

>>90893092
just fall asleep nigga

>>90893883
>I honestly did not understand the joke at first.
social anxiety

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12e1HdGzpw0

>>90895116
oh shit bitch got paidback

>>90892176
>Implying anyone wouldn't see through the ruse, making things exponentially more awkward as you realize they know the truth and that you just spoke on public transit for no reason

>>90895062
I've already tried every single trick in the book, falling asleep, reading a book, making a phone call, talking to someone, feign a sickness, etc. they know.

>>90894945
I-Is this loss?

>>90895724
SON OF A BITCH

>>90892507
A world were we allow retards to interact with the rest of society.

>>90891959
I used to care but then I stopped caring and just move to a big seat and stretch out their legs.

If they can't see how relaxed I am with my legs all stretched out then damn that's their problem.

They're not gonna get offended they're gonna wish they thought of stretching they legs out first.

>>90891959
I never move, it feels rude.

>>90891959
>not getting off the train and getting on the next one

>>90894945
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69iSXks1bes

>>90891959
>sitting down next to anyone
>ever

guys got some balls, i just stand

>>90894945
He needs to hurry up and vacation out to Japan so he can come back with Boston inspired manga instead.

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>>90892250
>Make eye contact with his reflection

>>90891959
>Stuck in this situation
>Pretend I don't know where are we right now
>Stand up to check the door's window so the other person could think that I was checking our location
>Stand awkwardly there staring at the door
>Take a seat close from the door (at the right side)
>My previous spot also was close to the door (it was on the left side)
>There were windows on every seat, so there was no point for me to stand up.
>We were in a subway.

>>90892250
>when ur not even looking at someone but u happen to glance at each other at the same time so it looks like u were staring at them

>>90895632
>they know.
kek

>>90897054
>when you look at someone but are able to predict their movements so you move your eyes 10 degrees to another plausible location as they are turning their head so when you look back it looks like you caught THEM looking at YOU

>>90897370
A simple game of follow best.

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>>90892250
Kek

>>90892250
Well I guess this is Ronnie's next comic.

>>90893325
You're just not in the target audience as the jokes contextual.

>>90899062
someone email him and tell him about this

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You don't move away when there's more seats open?

What are they going to do? Get insulted you'd like to make some space?

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>>90901408
Insulted and offended and everything in between.

>>90891959
>person sitting next to you moves to a seat that is next to someone else

I want to FUCK Ronnie!

>>90901888
>person sitting next to someone else moves to a seat next to you
What's your endgame?

>>90893883
I am genuinely happy for you.

>>90897370
The best feeling.

>>90893491
this, i'm always carrying a backpack, so when i move to an empty seat i just put the backpack out of my lap and move it next to me.

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>those people that put their backpacks on the seat next to them and make no attempt to move them, despite the bus being full with people getting on looking for seats

I know you're hoping social awkwardness will stop people from asking you to move your bag, but I will ask you every time. Headphones won't save you either.

>>90893491
You can't do that if you're black.(in the US) That's a ticket and whatever else if the officer is in a bad mood.

>>90902828
I'll usually make a point to keep my backpack on my lap until the bus starts off, but if it's filled with other college students I say to hell with it and get greedy

>>90891959
This is why I don't sit in public transport

>>90902946
Standing freehand is more fun if you got balance. Then when the train takes a sharp turn you can Smooth Criminal lean into it.

>>90895724
No ... No ... Maybe?

>>90901408
Then riddle me this anon, how close does the newly opened seat have to be away from your current position to move into it?

I always stand on the bus or train, and don't use a railing, so that I kind of surf the bus. No one makes eye contact with a surfer mouthing Japanese lyrics along with his MP3 player..

>>90902828
>when you don't know the proper timing for removing your bag from the seat because it will look like you did it for a specific person to sit next to you

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>>90895632
Buy a bird. Take it to work with you every day, in a seat sized cage. Train it to curse at strangers in Japanese.

>>90902828
You're doing God's work, anon.

>>90891959
> Morgan Freeman's voice

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>>90897054
>tfw zone out and start daydreaming
>snap out of it and realize you were staring directly at someone
>they noticed

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>>90896294
The social pressure of a Japanese train would kill him.

>>90905679
This happened to me exactly one time and I make sure it will never happen again.

>>90892250
>>90897054

>posting my everyday nightmare

don't do that

>>90891959

As soon as more space opens up I usually move.

>Live in LA
>Never use subways ever
Feels good man.

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>enter somewhat full train around noon
>quickly sit down without thinking
>realize I've completely jostled an elderly man who only says, "oh, good afternoon!"
>Ronnie's situation happens and soon I am in an empty car sitting next to a old man who I was very rude to and have not so much as looked at or acknowledged
>as I leave he tells me to have a good rest of my day

I hope that fucker's dead

>>90907444
I hope you're dead.

>>90891959
Damn, this is the realest shit.

>>90892250
I had an idea for a horror movie/game doing this moment, but of course it's an idea I can do nothing with.

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I live in some rural country town, I've never been on a train in my life and I'm 21

>>90902012
Trains are objectively the best form of transportation. It's like a tiny house that moves you from place to place.
When I become king there will be train subsidies.

>>90905679
>in class first day of school, it's art class and desks are arranged in a rectangle
>pick seat, zone out, and start daydreaming
>for some reason I'm humming some stock death theme (like, dun dun duh-dun, think the beginning of Beethoven's 5th Symphony, but it's a stock theme that plays when a cartoon character dies or something)
>my eyes pass over two chicks sitting next to each other
>one says to the other "that guy is looking at you and humming the wedding theme"
>immediate embarrassment, realize there is nothing I can say to alleviate the situation and just continue the day as if it never happened
At least it was left at that and nothing ever came out of it, even if they probably thought I was a creep for the rest of time afterward.

>>90894945
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvUMV1N7eGM

>>90908306
>realize there is nothing I can say to alleviate the situation and just continue the day as if it never happened
>At least it was left at that and nothing ever came out of it
This is what keeps me alive. I'm glad things usually never lead to anything. I just hope people forget/don't care.

>>90908306
That's Chopin's funeral march, you uncultured American swine.

>>90908648
Thanks anon, that's been bugging the fuck out of me.

>>90895632
use a cane.
learn to cripple walk.
no one will ever mess with you.

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>>90891959
>sit down
>one by one me and my next seater we are the only ones left
>couple more minutes
>we both stand at the same time

It was the most tense moment of my life.

>seated on a crowded bus, got the window seat, lady sitting down near me
>my stop is coming up, time to press the stop bu-
>she presses the stop button
>I have to get up after her
>fuck
>hope she turns another direction off the bus
>god damn it we're going in the same direction
>she's not a slow walker so I can't even bypass her
>not gonna go to turtle speed or suddenly stop so she can fuck off ahead of me, so I just keep walking
>eventually she slows to a stop to grab her phone and I pass her by
>get the feeling she was getting spooked
>make my turn into my apartment shortly afterward
fuck this earth

>Say goodbye to someone
>Both start off in the exact same direction
>You have to keep walking side by side for some time with neither of you saying anything.

>>90909733
Every time that happens to me, we just laugh at it and continue to talk until we actually split. Easy

>>90893883
I am genuinely disgusted by you.

>>90897054
>not just blinking and moving your eyes to a different part of the room

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Those awkward moments when
>you're walking behind someone and are worried that they think you're following them
>you want to move your bag to make space, but don't want the person who sat down to think you were moving it because of them
>you want to lock your car after getting in, but someone is walking past and you don't want to offend them
>you're unsure if someone is close enough for you to hold the door for them
>you overhear an unanswered question, but don't want to join a conversation with strangers
>you're sitting on a bench and someone walks towards it until they see you; then they walk away (and vice versa)
>you try to let someone who is signalling merge over, but they don't notice until it's too late
>you walk to the main sidewalk and turn to walk around someone going the other direction just as they start to turn, so you end up walking in a 'u' shape
>there's not enough space on the sidewalk, and you graze someone's shoulder
>you're walking behind someone in a big crowd and accidentally step on the back of their shoe but can't stop to apologize
>you touch someone's hand while reaching for something

>>90908112
Absolute plebian

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>>90911001
>you reach to pay something and your hands graze each other
>you absent-mindedly look around and lock eyes with a guy at another table
>you see someone coming up behind you and you either hold the door open for too long or not long enough
>you want to ask the waiter for something but they are busy, so you stutter out a question and they don't listen so you try again and make it worse
>you think that girls don't like you so you try to ignore signs and then you start to think a girl is flirting with you, so you start developing feelings but it turns out she sees you as a friend so you go back to square one and repeat this mess forever

>>90905679
>Zone out and start daydreaming
>Math teacher tells me stop looking at ???
> It keeps happening.
>I have no idea who that even is.
>It takes me forever to even figure out who she is.