Ah geez Lois, this is even worse than that time I appeared in

Don't speak ill of the dead, anon.

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>>90056680
IF YOU THINK THAT'S BAD

>>90056694
Yeah, it really is too bad how bad the show got after it got renewed.

>>90056680
I can't tell if this is supporting gays, or showing the family as being wrong.

>>90056871
It's Jack Chick

>>90056902
I'm not familiar.

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>someone got a RIP Brian tattoo when Brian "died"

>>90056871

Jack "Drop a Frag on Every Fag" Chick does not care for the homosexual community

>>90056871
>not recognizing a Chick tract
You need to be 18 to post here

>>90056936
He wrote various tracts supporting his weird branch of christianity, warning his readers against such EVILS as The Gays, Dungeons and Dragons, and Catholics

>>90056936
Overly religious asshole who made a bunch of comics showing how anyone who likes things he doesn't like is going to Hell.

People who rape their own children but then tell Jesus that they're sorry get into heaven, though.

>>90056680
To be fair, nothing is a sin until you act upon it.

>>90057021
Jesus says otherwise

>>90056680
>he's gay
>so's our pastor
kek

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>>90057021

Nice try Lucifer, luckily Jack Chick is here to remind us of the path Jesus would condone.

>>90057046
is that real
also are those the frogs that can switch genders

>>90057000
Then shouldn't gays catholics and DnD players pull off the same shit?
Also since when do Protties believe in Repentance? I thought that was a catholic thing.
>>90057046
That's not real is it?

>>90057093
http://www.cnn.com/2016/10/18/americas/peru-giant-frog-deaths/
Here's the actual article

>>90056680
I can never get over the fact that Lev. 18:22 apparently states that Stewie from Family Guy is gay.

>>90057125
Don't try to recapture the magic of last thread.

>>90057149
What happened last thread?

>>90057156
People wrote a bunch of made up Bible verses about animated shows.

Also /pol/ showed up.

>>90057156
Nothing we just kept working animated sitcom references into Bible Psalms. It was a sensible chuckleworthy thread.

>>90057178
>/pol/ showed up.
Is this even noteworthy at this point?

>>90057125
Mark 13:12 "Dale Knew Joseph was John Redcorn's child, but would never acknowledge it"

>>90057195
Was it ever?

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Repent sinners!!

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>>90056939
funny times

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>>90057231

>>90057046
Well, they were gay anyway.

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>>90057253

>>90057021
What games are you playing right now, Lucy? Still playing Warframe?

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>>90057284

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>>90057307

>>90057307
Did Jack Chick ever talk to another human being?

>>90057307
I don't hate this art. It reminds me of a newspaper comic strip drawn by someone who hasn't given up yet.

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>>90057332

>>90057021
So sort of like using a tripcode?

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>>90057355

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>>90057381

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>>90057414

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>>90057436

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>>90057459

>>90056680
Lev. 18:22
>Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable. Also little Stewie is gay.
Can't argue with that.

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>>90057478

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>>90057381
>G. Gaylord

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>>90057501

>>90056939
>>90057234
I remember when it happened and it made actual news, reporters were all saying stuff like "Brian was my favorite! I'm gonna miss him!"

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>>90057520

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>>90057543

>>90057459
>For details watch video seminar part 7 by Dr.Kent Hovind
>Kent Hovind
I see we're dealing with some reputable and reliable sources here.

>>90057567
Oh my fucking god.

>>90057046
Nice try idiot

http://www.cnn.com/2016/10/18/americas/peru-giant-frog-deaths/

everybody know anti-fascists are famously anti-wildlife and anti-environment.

>>90056680
>be christfag
>other christfags talk about queers
>leviticus, psalms or corinthians every fucking time

personally I like to live my life by what Jesus himself actually said about the gays.

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>>90057567

>>90057631
What did Jesus say about gays?

>>90057649
nothing

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>>90057641
I didnt skip one, I just labeled them wrong if someones wondering

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>>90057668

>>90057631
So you don't want to zap a trap?

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>>90057689

>>90057436
I like how Jack drew the teacher with the same skull shape as the neanderthal in the picture

>>90057668
>Isn't losing something the opposite of evolution?
Do people actually think like this?

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>>90057719

>>90057649
jesus 4:20
Don't judge, doooon't juuuuudge
jesus 4:21
like letting everyone like doing everything they want is like ok

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>>90057756
>>90057746
yes

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>>90057790
And that is how you save the world from evolution

>>90057253
>>90057284
>>90057307
>>90057332
>>90057355
>>90057381
>>90057414
>>90057436
>>90057459
>>90057478
>>90057501
>>90057520
>>90057543
>>90057567
>>90057641
>>90057668
>>90057689
>>90057719
>>90057756
>>90057790
>>90057817
I actually can't argue with this. My world is falling apart.

>>90057021
>"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Matthew 5:27-28

>>90057817
>We really do have a soul!
Not once has any teacher or any kind of authority figure told me I don't have a soul. Where is he getting that from?

>>90057649

its not if its a trap

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>>90057817
May as well post the rebuttal to this one, since it'd be a shame if Chick Tract threads unironically produced a channer creationist community.

>>90057501
>Piltdown man

>>90057872
there is no such thing as a soul, morality doesn't exist and nothing is stopping you from murder

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>>90057891

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>>90056694
nah fuck you.

>>90057459
>What Richard Leakey actually found was an early, primitive skull in a layer of rock that dates a little more recently than 2 million years. The physical characteristics and date of the skull are quite consistent with human evolution.
>The skull in question, KNM-ER 1470, is not that of a normal human. Among other things, the skull capacity (750cc) is far below that of an average modern human and the face is much more robust. Nearly all anthropologists agree that this skull is either a very early member of the homo genus (Homo rudolfensis) or a member of another hominin genus entirely (e.g., Australopithecus or Kenyanthropus).
>The original dating of the rock at over 200 Ma was false due to contamination of the sample with older volcanic rock. Subsequent dating methods converged on a range of dates between about 2.9 and 1.8 Ma, and in the early 80s, the discrepancy was finally resolved at 1.8 Ma.

Feels like arguing with trumptards and their alternate facts.

>>90057860
Looking is am act.

>>90057414
>Kinds

Real scientific terms there, Jack.

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Now that evolution is dead it is time to combat the choice of homosexuality

>>90057900
Uh oh. You have shattered my entire belief system.

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>>90058028

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>>90058046

>>90058009
So is thinking.

>>90057872
I'm not baptised, so according to local religious figures no soul has entered my body.
Being an empty shell is a bit sad, but my teachers were pretty cool with it.

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>>90058064

>>90058072
how's that whole unholy abomination thing workin' fer ya?

>>90057307
Did jack never get a formal education because that's not how teachers talk

>>90057929
man I love jacking off and reading harry potter

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>>90058090

>>90058090
>>90058064
>>90058046
I like how the whole setup to this stupid fucking thing is literally Things That Didn't Happen: The Comic Book

>>90057355
What the fuck, does the concept of evolution piss people off so much?

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>>90058120
>>90058111
Edumacation? That is devil talk!!!

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>>90057900

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>>90058149

>>90057668
>That fucking face in the last panel

>>90058144
Are you honestly surprised? American evangelicals are fucking nuts.

>>90058099
You tell me, I post on 4chan.

>>90058068
It's not. It can be involuntary.

>>90056680
My favorite passages from the bible is Leviticus 18:22 "He's gay!"
Good see that Jack Chick shares my superior view of the word of the lord.

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>>90058144
Yes, now please kayfeb
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foWdiT9iH44
>>90058174

>>90056968
Unless you're into some nerd shit like D&D there is no reason you should be able to recognize a Jack Chick comic.

>>90057946
Jack Chick was a national treasure, Anon.

Think of all the times he gave us joy with his Protestantism.

>>90058202
>Never have sexual intercourse with a man as with a woman. It is disgusting.
Can't disagree with that.

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>>90058208

>>90058144
The concept of dinosaurs and 4 billion year old planet is completely contrary to their worldview, and dinosaurs are crazy popular with kids, drawing them away from Jezus to damnation.

>>90057046
Well, a lot of fascist were animal lovers, so it is only logical that anti-fa must hate animals.

>>90057900
So I can masterbate to Trap and not Burn for eternity

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>>90058233

>>90058072
Well, I guess that all depends on who you're taking your definition of a soul from. You could go all the way back to Socrates and Aristotle's definition if you wanted to.

>>90057719
NUCLEAR FORCES REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>90056973
To be fair, fuck Catholics

>>90058240
>a lot of fascist were animal lovers
But then why are republicans dismantling the EPA and endangered animal list?

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>>90058263

>>90058228
>GOD'S WORD® Translation
Thanks for letting me know someone has a fucking copyrighted bible translation.

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>>90058296

>2 Kings 2:23
>From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. "Get out of here, baldy!" they said. "Get out of here, baldy!"

>>90058289
Catholics already did a pretty amazing job making the case to not be a Catholic

Jack Chick's Assassin's Creed fanfics were unnecessary to send that train rolling.

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>>90058330

>>90058309
>Not using the KJV, the ONLY legitimate one

Those 16th century English puritans sure were the most divinely inspired men of all time, yesiree. Ignore that fact that James himself was notoriously bisexual.

>>90058290
Because republicans aren't fascist?

>>90057689
>no one has seen or measured them, therefore they don't exist
The irony hurts

DEH HEAAAAAUS

>>90058366
As a devout catholic, I only read the original latin catholic bible, thank you very much you heretic.

>>90058352
you left out the part where Elisha cast Summon Monster V and ordered the bears he summons to murder them

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>>90058361
He left out the part where Lot offered up his daughters to be raped instead. Fuck Jack for distorting the world of the Lord, if angels are in your house you must let homosexuals rape your daughters! It's in the bible for gods sake.

>>90058120
So is that black man hallucinating that devil character?

>>90058366
The only legitimate bible translation is the one that says all the things I agree with.

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>>90058407
fucking BEARS

>>90058223
They've been a target for internet humor for years

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>>90058413

>>90058208

What does the bible say about Sodom and Gomorrah, you may ask.

>Gomorrah
Angels are not for sexual. Stop thinking about having an angel husbando.

>Sodom
"Hey Lot, you invited some travellers at your house, can you introduce us?"
"Sorry guys, I can't. But here are my two virgin daughters, you can take them from every hole if you want'"
"Wha... Nah, we're gonna pass. You're pretty sick, dude"

Results: Total annihilation of both cities, Lot is fine.
God is kind of a cunt there.

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>>90058443

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>Ezekiel 23:20
>There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

so anyone got any twink porn to recommend I feel like yanking it to some fuccbois for some reason

>>90058233
>Let's see, Lord

What?

>>90058223
Chick's been an internet laughingstock for close to 2 decades. Even 4chan used to make memes out of these.

>>90058431
Hey it doesn't even need to agree with everything you believe with. You can just ignore the parts you don't like. Like those rules against eating shellfish and pork.

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>>90058464
>>90058462
Sound pretty metal to me bro.

>>90058289
Hey man, I'm ain't telling you to do anything.

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>>90057641

>>90058413

They were gave, Lot know they wouldnt bother with the pussy.

I wonder what angelboypucci tastes like.

>>90058466
Now there's a memory verse for you

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>>90058485

>>90058443
>or the (((guys))) who almost beat him to death
I love this because the entire comic wouldn't work if the gays had just kept on marching.

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>>90058483
>even

4chan used to be a libertarian paradise until right around 2011 when we literally got invaded by Stormfront.

>>90058366
>Ignore that fact that James himself was notoriously bisexual.

Tell me more of this bisexual master race king.

>>90058518
We're talking about last decade.
Fucking newfags.

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>>90058508
>>90058500
a butt is a butt

>>90058462
God was pretty dickish in the Old Testament

>>90058484
>Like those rules against eating shellfish and pork.
There is actually a good anthropological explanation for that. If not properly cooked or cleaned, eating pork and shellfish have a very high chance of causing harm to people, some smart clergy man started to notice that, and since it is hard to explain to stupid people that eating pork will make them sick, just say God said pork is bad and then there you go.

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>>90058545

>>90058551
But it's stupid now so it's stupid forever stupid.

>>90058549
There's a reason the Gnostics thought he was a different person from New Testament God

>>90058462
>Angels are not for sexual. Stop thinking about having an angel husbando.

The people of Gomorrah did nothing wrong. There is no sin in wanting to fuck a perfect being like an angel.

>>90058500
Like heaven, anon.

>>90058545
How come they can never make up their minds on whether Jesus is God or not?

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>>90058569

>>90058572
More like it sets a precedent that shit in the Bible was written to make people behave like the guys who wrote it wanted them to behave.

>>90058179
>I'll evolve up your ass

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>>90058591
Well...

>>90058466
I need to put "Ezekiel 23:20" on the rear window of my car. Biblefags will think "Aww how religious!" Real bible readers, or people that decide to research it will be scandalized.

Anyone know the verse about the thieves that wanted to kill a woman so they could rape a man?

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>>90058597
And now that you are all cured from homosexuality and your hearts are full of Jesus you can do whatever you want because heaven is a guarantee

>>90058591
Because he both is and isn't. The trinity is one of those weird concepts that's hard to explain because it doesn't make complete sense.

>>90058625
This looks like the cover of a shoegaze album from 1998 and I'm still confused.

>>90058551
Eh i've heard that explanation before, but evidence shows that the parasites associated with pork weren't endemic to the area of Israel at that time. It may have had to do with how pigs were raised at the time. During the middle ages, pigs were fed by "pannage", which was herding them into the forests to eat acorns and such. When the land became mostly deforested in the later middle ages, they were left to scrounge refuse in cities. People would see them eating garbage and human shit, and so pork became less popular in that time. Since the Levant wasn't a place with large forests for feeding pigs "clean" food, people would have viewed them as animals that only ate disgusting garbage and so unfit to eat.

>>90058591
bueno, es y no es, usted me entiende

>>90058578
So they think a second god took over from YHVH's tyranny?

>>90058413
I don't think the bible explicitely says the men want to have sex with them. For all we know it could be a standard welcoming party.

Also, how could the women be gay, since they also went to see the angels?

>>90058644
Well it's supposed to be a divine mystery that humans can't understand (at least, according to the nicene creed). There were a lot of competing ideas about the trinity back in the day.

>>90058380
>>90057046

>being this desperate

>>90058687
they specifically say they want him to bring them out so they may lie down with them

>>90058569
>Be random person born in some Mongolian tribe in 1174
>Have no idea who the fuck Jesus is
>Cannot possibly realistically ever find out who Jesus is
>Sent to eternal damnation because God loves His children

>>90058545
Pastor believe Jesus isn't God.
That's the best strawman I've ever seen. No coherency whatsoever, it's beautiful.

>>90058009

Na just elevator eyes. Just like that video HR makes you watch

>>90058644
The Trinity is actually kinda hard to explain. Simply, God has three manifestations that are all simultaneously god, but separate from each other. There's a reason other religions don't believe Christians when they say they're monotheistic

>>90058680
the gnostic idea is that the real, good god created a spiritual world with many angels and such, and one of these angels wanted to imitate god and be worshiped like a god, so they created a lesser, material world and pretended to be god. But since the real god is all merciful, he lets even the lesser god's creations be saved.

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And now it's time to prove that DnD is a shit system and you should all abandon it for Pendragon or something

>>90058738
Clearly Arianism is making a resurgence among the gay community

>>90056774
Remember the time I won a date to Mexico with Gary Coleman?

so does Jack Chick even have ONE comic that isn't offensive in some way?

Like, he's got to have at least ONE that's just about some poor godless SOB who finds Jesus and it saves his life or something, right?

>>90058743
Good thing then that the opinions of lesser religions don't count.

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>>90058771
>>90058771

>>90058743
So basically a complex avatar.

>>90058761
Is Sophia the good god or is she one of the lessers? I like how Yaldabaoth has mommy issues.

>>90058785
>Evangelicals
>Giving a shit about unfortunate people when they can be judgemental and angry instead

>>90058403
SAME SHOW?

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>>90058771
I storytimed this on /tg/ when the bastard finally failed his Con save.

>>90058785
If there is, I haven't seen it

>>90058569
That's not an argument. Why doesn't he give a reason why christianism is the true faith? I'm sure they have thought of some.

>>90058638
>Order now and recieve one eternal life, absolutely free.
Tempting.

>>90058771
I'm betting Jack Chick was just a salty WH40Kfag or CoCfag.

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>>90058794

>>90058771
5e is fun though

>>90058785
Nobody would ever have bought or circulated his shit if it wasn't obnoxiously insulting or pandered to the lowest common denominator.

Might as well ask if tom of finland ever did any heterosexual art.

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>>90058822

>>90058785
No, they're all him preaching against random shit that he thinks is of the devil, including rock'n'roll and tabletop gaming.

He fits the moral panic Christian conservative "everything is bad" cartoon stereotype to a T.

>>90058714
I've never seen that in non-english editions.

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>>90058848
>>90058785
plenty but they are no fun

Too lazy to story time it, but here's The Good Morty, a Chick Tract parody.
http://m.imgur.com/gallery/Asfhl

>>90058799
She's a lesser Aeon

>>90058822
>rocks fall, Marcie dies. Fuck you, Marcie

This is what you get when you're That Guy, Marcie.

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>>90058867

>>90058771
Why DnD get so much attention for being satanic when their is a billion other fantasy stories and games out there does the concept of pretending to be a fucking wizard scare them so much?

>>90058848
>>90058867
Have I been playing D&D wrong this entire time?

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>>90058849
I sincerely doubt he was mentally well.
Americans have a habit of letting their nuts run around without any kind of overwatch.

>>90058896
We all have

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>>90058890

>>90058822
What a shitty DM.

>>90058877
Never read this one. One parody I remember is the Lovecraft one.

>>90058785
Maybe. There's something like 166 of them, I ain't gonna look through all that.

http://www.chick.com/catalog/tractlist.asp?q=166&Language=English

>>90058900
Since 1980 or so, it's pretty much impossible to commit someone unless you can demonstrate they're an immediate danger to other people or themselves.

>>90058867
What the fuck, is DnD supposed to be a Satanic sex cult or something now because that's usually the opposite of what it really is

>>90058894
it's literally because the Monster Manual contains demons in it.

Evangelicals missed the memo that these were monsters your heroes were meant to kill.

>>90058894
It was mostly because D&D was the most popular, so it got a lot of attention. Things like MtG and Harry Potter got similar attention for being satanic, but to a lesser extent. Mostly, I think people just hated nerds having fun.

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>>90058917
>>90058896
Yes, DnD is for casuals
>>90058894
They would panic about stars without number or world of darkness but then they would have to stop and explain what it is once every five minutes.

>>90058818
>Chick was a Corruption Of Champions player

>>90058785
Found one. It's just a quick retelling of the new testament.
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0293/0293_01.asp

>>90057946
I don't understand how you can hate Chick

It's like hating CWC. You can disagree with him of course, but having actual vitriol towards him is kind of creepy.

>>90058890
>>90058917
Thanks, Jack, now I knows that magic is real, and that any sin, including the use of magic, can be forgiven if I repent! Time to cast some spells!

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>>90058972

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>>90058496
An attempt was made

>>90058977
I meant Call of Cthulhu.

>>90058958
>implying you're going to kill asmodeus or ocrus without divine intervention

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>>90058996

>>90058996
>invisible DM

I like how Jack Chick has no idea how this game works on even the barest fucking level

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>>90059020

>>90059034
The DM got up to pick up the phone, you fucking dingus.

>>90058996
>I'm killing The Zombie
>the solitary Zombie

What kind of shitty adventure is this

They made a movie based on this one.

>>90059034
>tfw i,played D&D by myself because I had no friends

>>90059067
>Debbie's actually really fucking bad at DnD and they taught her real spells and shit out of pity

New headcanon.

>>90059053
why does the DM suddenly give a shit about Marcie

All his art is so samey I assumed that was like her mom or some shit.

>>90057929

The kind of religion Jack subscribes to is so fucking wacky and full of holes. Honestly don't know how prevalent any of his believes are, but I imagine he's that guy at his church that is repeatedly ignored and/or pulled aside by someone in charge to be calmed and corrected.

>>90059067
zombie is a template, you could make a Great Wyrm or a Tarrasque zombie actually.

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>>90059034
>Never got a cleric beyond level 8
You will never know the joy of an invisibility spell mixed with dice rolling
>>90059045

>>90058987
Eh, CWC is a harmless kind of stupid. Well harmless to others, he's definitely a danger to himself.

Chick was legitimately hateful.

>>90059105
You fucking wish. His church was probably some weird Baptist sub-sect shithole full of people like him.

>>90059112
I don't think this is third edition, unless this is newer than I thought

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>>90059115

>>90059132
unless you work at Gamestop

>>90059105
It's a shaky philosophy that has more flaws in it than a Malaysian airliner some people find scientific fact to be bullshit

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>>90059140

>>90058144

It really long and complicated, but basically religion got tied into southern identity, southern identity helped build the culture of modern republicans, and therefore whatever the left does is wrong bad either morally or spiritually. Once you know this the history of the United States becomes a lot easier.

>>90059132
unless you're anywhere near a blue armed sonic

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>>90059166

>>90059136
That or he joins those Neo-Christian societies that find "solace" in cutting themselves off from the planet because society is wrong and raising families without basic healthcare is worth it for religious values

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>>90059184

>>90058867
Jack Chick confirmed to have never played D&D.
Seriously where is he getting this coven crap from? Up his ass?

>>90059184
What imagination depraved moron names their character "Elfstar"

>According to Christians like Chick, you could be a mass-murderer and still go to heaven if you profess your love for Jesus

They kinda missed the point of the Bible, didn't they?

>>90059201
>Debbie, I've been literally starving myself. FOR YOU!

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>>90059201

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>>90059140
>>90058917
>>90058890
>>90058867

I wonder if there was ever a kid raised on this crap who joined their local D&D group to rebel and was really disappointed.

>>90059201
>you will never have a nice Christian boy fast for you

Why even live?

>>90059209
The big scary book had DEMONS in it, Anon! Therefore it must be occult, and you can't spell occult without cult!

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>>90059229

>>90059247
>You have been trapped in a dungeon of bondage.

Is that really what you're going to open with, Pastor Finnegan? That sounds even better than being able to summon demons.

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>>90059247
To think, because of DnD she was tricked into joining a christian cult! If only she had played shadowrun instead!

>>90059226
What's even better is that he believes the opposite is also true, that you can be the greatest and kindest person in the world but you'll still automatically go to hell no matter what unless you accept Jesus.

>>90058761
This Gnostic myth is also the basis for Elder Scrolls' metaphysics.

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>>90059283

>>90059230
Probably people rebel against parents especially shitty ultra-conservative ones doesn't always guarantee they'll end up in better situations

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>>90059305

>>90059226
I don't think people like him are capable of self-awareness

>>90059283
>You'll never be trapped in a cute witches bondage dungeon

>>90058988
Jack anticipated your logic and made comics where a person decides to repent and join the True Christian Church, but a random event kills them before they can make it to the church, which still dooms them to hell.

>>90057381
There go those damn liberals, trying to bring "facts" into everything.

>>90059226
>>90059284
That's called sola fide and is the defining characteristic of protestantism, which is the most common religion in the US. Martin Luther basically believed and spread around the idea that man is so shitty and sinful that you can't possibly hope to atone through your actions, the only way is to have faith in Jesus since he died for your sins.

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>>90059326
>that warning

>>90059311
Not sure you get what I'm saying

I mean they expected sorcery and Satanism and got neckbeards arguing about THAC0 instead

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>>90059326
I hope all you sinful DnD players have repented and told your GM that it's time to try age of rebellion

>>90059382
Fuck THAC0 though

>>90058644
Three ddifferent personalities of one amalgamated person

>>90059283
Now what's wrong with rock music?

>>90059382
Yeah i get it I meant they're disappointed in both situations

>>90058090
>This is what bible thumpers actually believe will happen, if they don't already believe it happens

>>90059413
Oh man we should read that one next

>>90058917
Holy shit that face.

>>90059343
Isn't that complicated against his forgiving grace logic

>>90056680
JOHNNY JOHNNY YES PAPA

>>90058988
This is the great thing. Chick implies that not only is dark magic real, but that prayer is essentially a form of magic as well. Also that the devil WILL give you what you want in exchange for your soul, but that you don't actually have to honor that and can use deathbed repentance as a get out of Hell free card.

Ol' Jack makes using dark magic and accepting Satan's help look pretty appealing.

>>90058569
>what about other religion
>fuck you

>>90059429
You should watch God's Not Dead 2 if you REALLY wanna rage at Bible thumper persecution complex

>>90058361
Notice how Jack skips the part where Lot offers the rapey crowd his daughters instead. And the part where the wife gets turned to salt for daring to turn around and look at the city's destruction.

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>>90059413
>Now what's wrong with rock music?
Batman hates it

>>90059326

13 Then some of the itinerant Jewish nexorcists oundertook to invoke the name of the Lord Jesus over those who had evil spirits, saying, p“I adjure you by the Jesus whom Paul proclaims.” 14 Seven sons of a Jewish high priest named Sceva were doing this. 15 But the evil spirit answered them, q“Jesus I know, and Paul I recognize, but who are you?” 16 And the man in whom was the evil spirit leaped on them, mastered all4 of them and overpowered them, so that they fled out of that house naked and wounded. 17 And this became known to all the residents of Ephesus, both Jews and Greeks. And fear fell upon them all, and rthe name of the Lord Jesus was extolled.


..... what?

>>90059505
And where Lot's daughters get him drunk and rape him

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>>90059511
Retconned

NO one has linked to the MOVIE!?

https://youtu.be/LADLv1803Vw?list=PLTtpi7gJO7XOBoFSiLAYjrfR6n9odNG9y

>>90059499
Oh I know all about that. Can't wait for God's Not Dead 3, where the priest is on trial after his arrest because he refused to turn over his sermons to the guvment for "review", actually an evil scheme to dictate and censor what preachers can preach. Another case of things that never happen.

>>90059465
Nope, not without upholding his church's monopoly on being True Christians. Catholics get fucked, for example.

Examples:
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0022/0022_01.asp
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5019/5019_01.asp

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>>90059493

>>90059548
GOD DOESN'T PLAY GAMES

>>90059230

Sort of related story, back when I was a kid I had a christfag friend who I discovered was an ultra conservative when he discovered I was an atheist and it was a really fun and interesting conversation. He thought me being an atheist meant that I worshipped Satan and was really worried about my soul, but was really interested in how I talked to Satan.

He was 11, so I just assume that every ultra conservative probably gets little doses of "Satanic cults aren't real" before the reach the age of "fuck the rules".

>>90059542
But it is real! A chain letter I got said so, and now I need to forward it to 50 people so that they know the truth!

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Lets go the racist rout

>>90058867
>tri-classing a cleric/priestess/witch

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>>90059593

>>90058794
These people are too attrative to be playing D&D. And there's too many girls.
Immersion destroyed.

This is my favourite thread in the last five years.

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>>90059608

>>90059623
Nothing unites people like Jack Chick's grade-A crazy

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>>90059630

>>90056680
Wait, Lev. 18:22 confirms Stewie is gay?

>>90059517

Non-christians just can't invoke Jesus and god to do exorcisms.

A bunch of Jews said "Jesus says leave", Demon responds "I know Jesus, and you sir are no Jesus", and so the Jews got spooked and ran.

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>>90059654

>>90059612
Maybe God showed him a vision of the future where hipsters and fake nerd girls play D&D ironically or for attention.

>>90058743
I usually explained The Trinity as God literally being in three places at once.

>>90059511
Batman also likes his steaks well done, so fuck his opinions.

>>90056680
I always figured Moms would be least likely to like Stewie.

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>>90059676

You think Jack is bad, look up Brent Rinehart's Political Comic.

All the Gays are Ancient Romans, and the wacky Devil is always after that random politician for some reason.

http://downloads.newsok.com/documents/rinehartcartoon.pdf

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>>90059695

>>90059692
In fairness he was raised by a butler

He eats hamburgers with a fork and knife.

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>>90059470

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>>90059692
Not even the worst of his food crims

>>90059608
I don't know if Indians discriminate against Indians that convert to christianity, but I know for a fact that christians have done some pretty shitty things to Indians, especially children, to try and force them into conversion.

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>>90059537
glorious
>>90059715

>>90059695
> skin walker

/x/ will love this

>>90059283
>the enemy
>(satan)
Thanks for clarifying

>>90059354
That's some epic Catholic propaganda. Why don't you keep your sectarian mudslinging in the middle east where it belongs and away from my cartoon boards? Fucking retard.

>>90059722
"Stuck-up person eats a burger with knife and fork while poorer folk watch in disbelief" is a pretty common trope.

>>90059654
>Let's have a comic about stereotypical native Americans
>What should their names be?
>I know! Margaret and Henry!

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>>90059732

>>90059690

Isn't the Trinity just Batman, Superman, and Wonderwoman?

I am lost. Like I get that Batman is the father (because Robins), Supes is the son (because of Pa Kent), but how is Diana the holy spirit? Because she was made from clay? Wasn't that retcon'd?

Cape shit is weird.

>>90059722
>I can't... Is this really happening?
An appropriate reaction to someone eating a burger with a fork and knife.

>>90059732
>>90059715
>>90059695
>>90059676
>>90059654
>>90059630
>>90059608

I can't even make fun of this shit, it's just racist.

>>90059757
>Jesus wasn't a white man. He was a Jew!
It's rare for an American protestant to admit something like that.

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>>90059757
>>90059755
He probably had binged watched MASH just before making this

>>90059695

>random guy tied up
>Arrow through his hat

Why does he hate Indians?

>>90059354
>protestants think evil people should go to heaven if they accept Jesus
>catholics think evil people should go to heaven if they cough up shekels

So literally all forms of Christianity are incurable retarded, insane, and evil. But atheists are the dumb ones because of le epic internet memes.

>>90059593
>>90059608
>>90059779
On that note, it appears that Scalped is getting made into a TV show.

>>90059787
When it comes to Jack Chick, replace DA JOOZ with DA CATLICKS. He basically believes Catholicism does all the crazy shit /pol/ says kikes do

>>90059505
>And the part where the wife gets turned to salt for daring to turn around and look at the city's destruction
Borowed from greek mythology?

>>90059807
>>catholics think evil people should go to heaven if they cough up shekels
They got rid of that a long time ago

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>>90059804
>>90059779
you should apply yourself harder, I find your lack of jocularity disturbing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RovF1zsDoeM

>>90059757
Jesus wasn't a white man. He was a Jew!
This shit is too good.

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>>90059850