Greetings true believers it's about time for a weekly Spider-man thread.
Tonight's episode is about Spider-man starting numerous international diplomatic incidents and J. Jonah Jameson appointing himself ambassador to fix things.
Sit back, relax, and enjoy.
Previous threads all updated
Spider-man
http://pastebin.com/86qedmQu
Fantastic Four
http://pastebin.com/tjREijhZ
Spider-Man AND politics? Oh boy!
Do you like our official Principality of Rutania car, Albert?
No. I wanted a convertible.
And I didn't so fuck you we get half of what we want. No excuse me, I have to drive while the state flag is obstructing the road.
Steve: It's the Prime Minister's car! QuickCharlie! Get some pictures!
Charlie: I hate slow news day. I could be taking pictures of puppies for a fluff piece and instead I'm taking pics of some guy no one cares about.
HEY HEY MR. PRIME MINISTER
A MINUTE OF YOUR TIME PLEASE
HE WAVED AT ME! NOT YOU, ME!
Charlie: Hey he locked us out!
Steve: Yeah! He can't do that! We have freedom of the press!
Charlie: What's freedom of the press?
Steve: We can take pictures of celebrities and politicians and there's nothing they can do about it. It's in the Constitution!
Charlie: What's a Constitution?
Maybe they can keep Peter " Scares people for money" Bushman out but they can't keep out Spider-man!
How's this for a new costume? The Zorro look is due to come back any day now. But that is probably not today.
Remember folks it's ok to trespass into a foreign embassy or a foreigner's house if you have a camera! Acting for consent prior to a photograph is for suckers!
Hey hey hey someone's about to get their picture taken today
I can just taste that 25 cent bonus JJ's offering
Spider-man: What did I just walk in on
>>89845954
> "scares people for money"
Spider-Man is reduced to shooting prank videos to make ends meet.
Everything's perfect. My makeup disguise ! Perfect! My facial hair! Perfect! My Dreamworks face! Perfect!
Don't you agree Mr. Prime Minister?
MPPH HMPPHHH HRRRMPHISHHHRRRRR
No one will guess the truth. That I concocted this plan after a playthrough of Gyakuten Kenji 2!
No one would guess except me! Your Friendly easedropping Spider-man!
We'll just end the episode early, ok?
Never! Not as long as I have a cane full of noxious amnesia gas!
*cough cough* It IS noxious!
>>89846220
I can see the headlines now:
>"SPIDER-MAN TIES-UP PRIME MINISTER OF RUTANIA; ASSAULTS PM'S TWIN BROTHER!"
But I am forgetting nothing! And what kind of firing mechanism would dispense gas from a cane....
Guard: The police will be here any minute to take out this trash, Mr. Prime Minister
But that's... not... the real... Prime Minister he's ... fake
How dare you impugne a gentleman with a monocle this fancy! I care not for your tone of voice nor the implication that I did not win my election by a plurality of the votes! I shall have a word with your country sending costumes vigilantes to harass honest, trustworthy, pure politicians!
Spider-man: But I have proof MY CAMERA It's gone! Spider on my chest! You were supposed to hold onto that!
I SEE HOW IT IS. STEAL FROM ME WILL YOU. GET YOUR STINKING HANDS OFF ME YOUR FILTHY DIRTY RUTES!
>>89846402
>What nonsense! Next you'll say that the guy who looks suspiciously like me tied to the chair in that corner is the real prime minister!
Seriously, when did he have time or possibility to hide him?
OH MY GOD DID HE JUST SAY AN ETHNIC SLUR
THAT'LL SHOW EM No, Spidey always gets the last word
You damned Ruters are all the same. I don't know how you hid the evidence so quickly while I was out cold but I'll be back with evidence. So watch your back.
If I had a mic I'd drop it
He did WHAT? It was bad enough with the Prime Minister wanting a 100,000 dollar loan! Thanks to Spider-man he'll probably demand 200,000!
Oh it's a 10 million dollar loan he wants? DON'T CORRECT ME.
Jameson: Mother! You know how I feel about Rutania. We don't need to give THOSE people any amount of money
Mr. Jameson, how could you of all people deny the needs of 40 million needy people?
Who are you and how did you make it past my Betty Brant unharmed?
Me? Only the PRIME MINISTER of a poor country that needs your deep sympathy. Imagine! A country so poor that children can't watch cartoons! A country so poor you can only get poptarts in 3 flavors! All unfrosted! A country so poor that women only have 12 pairs of shoes!
>>89845600
+1 reading
My poor country of Rutania needs money! And lots of it! I, the Prime Minster, have driven it into the ground!
And if you help us get that 10 million dollar then your reward tier is having YOUR NAME sung by the people of my country to your magnanimous efforts!
>>89845929
>What's freedom of the press?
>What's a Constitution?
t. Average American
Well Spider-man did call you a ... I won't repeat it. We've made a lot of social progress in the past 3 years.
>But do I want people singing my praises and my name? What if it's children? They can't carry a tune.
>>89846157
OH SHIT IT'S DEATHSTROKE
Little children will smile and sing about you. The finest Castratos my country has to offer!
>Ooh! Castrati! It's a deal!
>>89846556
That's a great reaction image
MS. BRANT ALERT THE PRESS ROOM FOR AN EXTRA
Yes Mr. Jameson. Do you plan on telling me what it's about or am I to guess this time?
Jameson: I'll do anything to help you and I do mean ANYTHING. J. Jonah Jameson is a fan of 'HAPPY ENDINGS' if you catch my drift. WINK WINK
Fake Prime Minister: I don't get it
... Pardon me for asking, but do you think a single extra will be enough for a charitable operation of this size?
Jameson: MISS BRANT! I'VE CHANGED MY MIND! MAKE THAT A DOZENS EXTRAS!
Betty: It's your paper Mr. Jameson, you may run in into bankruptcy in any way you see fit.
Jameson: 10 Million isn't enough! I'll get you 20 million! Look at me! Raising my hands in the air as if I don't care (but I do)
You sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.
EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT. 20 MILLION DOLLAR LOAN NEEDED TO FIGHT POVERTY IN RUTANIA
I'll need some stronger webbing to deal with that imposter and his "cane do" attitude before he gets his money but Jameson's not making my job any easier.
But first I'll need to iron this suit. It's too wrinkled for me to be seen in public wearing this costume!
Aww jeez awww man why did I have to get assigned to the rabid canine unit. Everyone else got cool dogs... I got this one.
They've stepped up security on the faker quite a bit if they're using dogs
What is it Princess Waffles?! Something in the tree? And it's not Santa Claus this time?
>>89847204
>>89846941
Thank you
WAN WAN WAN WAN
So this is how Cujo went? Didn't read to the end but I'm sure that everyone made it out just fine.
Spider-man: On second thought, put a muzzle on all the barking
Guess that dog was barking up the wrong tree
HEY SPIDER-MAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BITCH
oooof
Dude, you can't go running around at night with your eyes closed you just can't.
NOOOOOOOOOOO I'M HUGGING A TREE
Fake Prime Minister: I've been expecting you, Spider-man.
Spider-man: So much for the element of surprise... I MEAN I'M READY WHEN YOU ARE
One could say it's time for me to raise some cane!
Fake Prime Minister: You were probably expecting gas! But no! It's cane darts!
HOLF FUCK JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHAT THE FREAKING HELL
Um returning fire with my web balloons full of hot air
What's that even supposed to do?
And now back to the gas!
THE TABLES HAVE TURNED MR. MINISTER
Spider-man: Hey where'd he go?
Oops. I didn't do it
You are beneath my contempt! Literally!
Remind me to send a thank you note to a Mr. Cobblepot for inspiring me to make this
Protect me chair
CHAIR WHAT THE HELL I THOUGHT WE WERE BROS
Maybe these curtains will protect me
Spider-man: Did your mom ever tell you that you'd make a great ribbon dancer?
Spider-man: NOW TELL ME WHERE THE REAL RUTANIA PRIME MINISTER IS.
Fake Prime Minister: You've trashed the place and you expect me to tell you?
Me? No. This place was like this when I got here
MR. PRIME MINISTER IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE UNDER ATTACK BY AN ASSASSIN. WE'RE COMING AS SOON AS WE BREAK DOWN THIS DOOR
That'd be my cue to skidoo. I'll be back. I will destroy all the hiding spots until I find the real Prime Minister
Jameson: Spider-man tried to kill you Mr. Prime Minister? It won't happen again. I've selected the finest Bugle armed guards to protect you night and day
You want to make a statue for me? In my honor? Can it be a giant version of me teabagging a harbor? You will?! That's great! Thank You!
Lame parents and schoolteachers will force their bored children to look at you
Yeah! I didn't consider that! I'll be educational!
The birds will absolutely love you
They will won't they! Finally immortalized! Just like Michelangelo's David or Venus De Milo only better!
>This asshole doesn't know I'm being sarcastic. Am I doing something wrong here? How else can I convey that birds will enjoy pooping all over his face?
The gold I arranged America to loan out will be sent by an armored truck to the airport tonight and there's nothing that Spider-man can do about it!
Betty: Mister Jameson, why and how are we doing this? We're a fucking newspaper, not the police, not the President, not the treasury, or the army!
Jameson: Miss Brant, there's a lot for you to learn about what I'm capable of.
Trying to deliver gold? Not on my watch. The line must be drawn HERE at THIS POINT AND NO POINT FURTHER
Flawless execution
Nani?!
Step on the gas bro step on the gas!
Spider-man: That oughta hold you. You can't go down this road unless you give me all the gold!
Spider-man: It's nothing personal! The man you're taking the gold to is a fraud!
Guard: I don't care about politics I'm just doing my job! You're a wanted international terrorist now Spider-man so kindly sit still and let our truck guns shoot you. They can't change direction and I have to step outside to reload!
Spider-man: Thanks for the warning!
Impressive power behind that truck! To the airport!
Spider-man: So there's the gold going to Rutania and that trunk has to be where the fake Prime Minister is hidden. I better hurry! There's no air holes!
HEY WHICH OF YOU ASSHOLES LEFT THIS PLANE DOOR OPEN. YOU KNOW WE CAN'T PRESSURIZE THE CABIN WITH IT OPEN
*THWIP*
I did not think this plan far enough in advance
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck meeeeeeeeeee
Mr. Prime Minister! The door's jammed! It won't close!
Stand aside. I'll weld it shut!
Fake Prime Minister: Hrmmmmm that wasn't supposed to happen
Spider-man: Now there's nowhere for you or me to run to!
Fake Prime Minister: Get off my plane
This flail I made is surely worth it's weight in gold
Fake Prime Minister: !!!
Spider-man: And how does a plane this small loaded up with this much gold possible stay in the air!? Tell me! Tell me now!
Spider-man: You're not getting your toy back until you do!
Pilot 2: HEY IS SPIDER-MAN BACK THERE FIGHTING THE PRIME MINISTER? KNOCK IT OFF YOU TWO THIS INSTANT
Pilot 1: Don't make me turn this plane around!
I need this I need this a gentleman would never sully his hands
Spider-man: And that's a wrap
Will you two stop roughhousing already?
Spider-man: Tell me if you're heard this before. So a Latverian, A Wakandan and a Rutanian walk into a bar...
Fake Prime Minister: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
Spider-man: Oh you have?
Spider-man: Then let's figure out who you really are!
Spider-man: It's old man Nicholas Cage!
Nick Cage: And I would have gotten enough gold to remodel my burial tomb it weren't for you meddling Spider-man.
Face Off's my favorite movie!
Spider-man: Mr. Prime Minister! There you are! I knew you had to be the junk in the trunk! Need anything?
Prime Minister: HRRMPHHH MMMM HURMAHURR
Jameson: Spider-man! Why couldn't he have played the part of the hero and saved the day AFTER I got my statue?
Jameson: Someday I'll be immortalized. Someday...
Mister Jameson, Hark look in yonder window
AHHHHHH
Jameson: A STATUE OF ADOLF HITLER! HOW DARE HE
>>89849213
>Nani?!
FUCK YOU
Jameson: AND HE PUT MY NAME ON IT. WHAT'S HE TRYING TO SAY? THAT WE'RE SIMILAR? THAT HE CAN GET AWAY WITH GODWINNING SOMEONE AND THEN LEAVING BEFORE THEY CAN GET A WORD IN.
WE'RE NOTHING ALIKE. YOU HEAR ME. NOTHING!
I won't be able to afford eating for a month but it was worth it!
THE END
>>89849913
>Don't make me turn this plane around!WAHOO PING PING 1-UP
And that's all for this week. I'll be back for more battles against capchas next Saturday hope whoever reads this enjoys it.
>>89850307
>>89850343
holy mother of kek
>>89850410
Thanks again man
>>89850769
You're very welcome
>>89850410
keep up the funnies man! I always try and catch the newest script as it comes out.
>>89851254
I keep posting if people keep liking what's posted
bump for OC
Gratitude bump , this is great thanks
You're a gem mate
>>89859894
Thanks
>>89848624
Most scenes Spider-man's in it looks like he's having a midlife crisis
>>89845600
another well spent saturday
A surprisingly mild episode considering the pants-on-head retarded plot.
Hey the threads still up.
>>89863322
What does he mean by this?
>>89845600
Thank you
>>89866128
I mean I expected something a lot more outrageous happening in an episode where Spider-Man becomes involved in international politics and repeatedly causes international incidents. And it was just a switcheroo fraud plot.
>>89845600
>1967
I forgot how old this was
Thank you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8e_wFWG-9fs
>>89845600
Just-started bump
>>89849182
>>89849156
>The line must be drawn HERE at THIS POINT AND NO POINT FURTHER
>next image is a literal line
It might be the beer, but I think it's funnier if the second image doesn't have text
>>89882850
Yeah I see it.