Does Batman pull the lever?

absolutely not since he is turbo autistic about his no-kill rule

he would however throw a batarang to cut the ropes keeping Joker down so he can escape

He would save them all, cuz he's Batman

bat-trolley-derailer

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>>89551479

He'll cut the ropes restraining the crimals and let them escape.

Readers will later point out he could've pulled the lever and cut the ropes of the one guy instead, keeping the dangerous loonies restrained while not killing them.

He'd throw a batarang and save everyone.

>>89551406
Nolan bats just lets the train go. Don't have to save 'em.

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>>89551490
Nice going, bats.

>>89551406
What if its still part of Joker plan?

>>89551661
You think that's going to be a trolley full of people plummeting to their death, but Batman knew the trolley line was unfinished on that side and would end on a cliff, so he handily prepared his can of anti-falling spray to save them!

>>89551406
Nope.

He has the Batmobile (on autopilot) attach a cable to the trolley and then accelerate in the opposite direction such that the trolley is forced to slowly reverse, giving him enough time to get everyone off of the tracks. Because he's Batman, that's why

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>>89551661

>>89551739
kek

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>>89551739
Nice going.

>>89551739
goddamnit superman, stop solving our philosophical moral dilemmas!

>>89551801
now draw a green lantern creating a giant green hand to catch the trolley and superman!

>>89551703
> anti-falling spray
You mean the "Bat Gravity Repellant"

>>89551874
He's too distracted by hamburgers.

>>89551739
should have been Alfred remotely piloting the Batwing

>>89551507
As improbable as the animated movie version was, it was so much better than Bruce fucking throwing a batarang into Jason's shoulder.

>>89551897
Both work

>>89551406
He saves everyone

Batman wakes up in a small square room. The room is currently in orbit above the planet, and there are no exits. Batman has no tools or gadgets at his disposal. The only other thing in the room is a button with a sign that says "KILL THE JOKER."

Should Batman press the button, The Joker, who is located all the way across the planet from Batman's current position, dies and nothing else happens. Batman is sent safely back to Earth.

Should he refuse pressing, the Earth explodes. The Joker still dies, but so does everyone and everything else on the planet. Batman however lives on and is forced to deal with the ramifications of his decision. On top of that, the room immediately puts him in a state of suspended animation while at the same time allows his mind to function, and he is forced to stay there for a seemingly infinite amount of time to live with the fact that he fucked up and can do nothing about it.

Batman has 60 seconds upon awakening to make a decision. There is no way he can rig the button, escape, make it to The Joker in time, or do anything that could possibly put the cards back to his favor. He either kills The Joker or kills everyone.

What does Batman do?

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>>89551874

>>89551960
He sucks himself off while moaning Martha's name.

>>89551406
>im plying he doesn't have an anti-train spray in his belt for just such an ocation.
Do you even read Batman?

>>89551960
He kills The Joker.

Then he Un-Kills him.

>>89551994
Now make the trolley yellow.

>>89551994
>inb4 Hal flies into the cliff and knocks himself out

>>89551960
Does he know that those are the consequences of not hitting the button, and that pressing the button kills Joker and only Joker with no collateral damage?
If so, he presses the button 100%.
If he isn't told anything, he doesn't.

>>89551960
he kills the Joker like he did in the past
it's not really an argument outside of memes

>>89551994
Too bad the trolley is filled with lemon enthusiasts

>>89551994
>>89551801
>>89551739
>>89551661
>>89551490
you are the best poster on /co/ right now

>>89552043
now draw santa claus with his big sac saving them all in time for the christmas special

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>>89551994
>>89552036

>>89551406
Depends. Whose on the rails?

>>89552196
Look at the image a little bit harder, anon

>>89552187
>implying yellow still affects the ring

>>89552248
Yeah, and Superman wouldn't use a kryptonite dildo. Learn to recognise jokes

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Anyone else know this version of the trolley problem? Basically, the situation is there's a trolley coming that will run over five people, but you can push the fat guy over the bridge to stop the trolley.

I always thought this was retarded because if this guy is fat enough to stop a trolley, what makes you think you can push him? And if you can push him, why don't you just stop the trolley yourself since you're basically fucking superman?

>>89551936
The movie was better in a lot of ways.

>>89552187
I'm sure Martian Manhunter will save the day.

>>89552274
>Superman wouldn't use a kryptonite dildo
Says you.
Suspension of disbelief only goes so far!

Honestly the other guy's idea of Hal accidentally knocking himself out would have been better.

>>89552326
NAAAARGH!

>>89551960
The short time limit, the lack of gadgets, being trapped in orbit; None of that matters if he planned for it. You can't take away the plans he has made beforehand in case something like that happens.

And you're going to say that he hasn't any? That he was completely blindsided? Then he will never press that button, because as far as he is concerned, this whole situation is just too big for him or the rest of the League to have missed it, so it simply cannot be real in the first place.

Destroying a whole planet isn't easy. It would have taken too much time to install whatever weapon needed, and someone would have noticed something was coming before he was captured. His capture was the first step of that whole plan? Then he knows that the League will learn about his disappearance and investigate in the time between his abduction and that very moment, so every millisecond that he saves could be the one they need to prevent everything.

In short, the Justice League is his ultimate contingency plan.

>>89552326
>trolley is full of oreos

>>89552326

>>89552017
His spelling alone pretty much shows that he reads almost nothing...

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>>89552477

>>89552310

I remember being asked this version of the question in a psych interview, I could tell it was going to be the trolley problem and was getting ready to say the sanest sounding answer, but as soon as they mentioned the fat person you can push onto the tracks I lost it and couldn't stop laughing since it's so absurd and mean spirited sounding, which I think is the worst possible answer

>>89552511
It's okay, Barry is already below and forming a tornado

>>89552310
>>89552531
"What if the fat man is Santa Claus?"

>>89552589
If Santa was there, why wouldn't he just save those people?

>>89552589
Luckily I wished for a fat guy this year from Santa, I'll throw him instead

>>89552531
It's a little spin on the question. A lot more people object to directly pushing a man to his death to save others opposed to pulling a switch.

>>89552511
Pretty sure that Flash or Zatana solved the problem.

>>89552671
Regardless, I think both versions of the question are pretty dumb, if not most hypotheticals in general.

First, most everyone is going to say they'd save the 5 people instead of the 1, but in real life no one would know what to do in this situation - they'd let the adrenaline do the thinking. Second, this would never actually happen in real life, unless you encountered some sociopath with a hard-on for the Dark Knight version of the Joker and a B- in philosophy 101.

>>89552627
Are we still operating on the fact that the people on the tracks are Batman rogues and therefore naughty?

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>>89552746

>>89552762
Hypotheticals aren't about coming up with a correct way to solve a real problem though. You are obviously right when saying that it will never happen, and that even if it did rationnality wouldn't be of much help.

But that's not the point. It's about looking at humans and ethics. Saying it's "dumb" doesn't do those questions justice.

>>89552915
Where's Aquaman when you need him?

>>89551893
It was all a bad nightmare, that was induced by the Scarecrow's fear toxin.

>>89552915
>not "yeht erew ysub"
missed oportunity

>>89551960
He steals the Superman-Thought robot and use it to intimate the writer(you) to change it. He was prepared for this day anon.

>>89551406
>Throw batarang at the lone guy to cut his ropes
>He escapes, and bats switches the train to the now empty track
>All this time allows the villains to escape before Batman reaches their track
>Another night of chasing down crimes begins, for the Dark Knight

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>>89552975


>>89553010
kcuf ha. you're right

>>89552762
>Second, this would never actually happen in real life, unless you encountered some sociopath with a hard-on for the Dark Knight version of the Joker and a B- in philosophy 101.
This is a possibility that is becoming more real everyday.

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>>89552915
This is the best one yet.

>>89553210
I guess Wonder Woman is too busy breaking someone's neck.

>>89552244

I see what looks like Joker, Two face, Mr. Freeze, and Penguin, but who's the last guy? Black Mask?

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>>89553608

>>89553864
No Anon, That's A Big Guy

>>89551960
Kill himself. They don't get the satisfaction of making him relish in killing everyone in that case.

>>89552915
I need to make this my profile picture or some shit

>>89552004
His mom was pretty hot.

>>89552531

The man has to be incredibly fat because otherwise you could say "I jump over the bridge myself to slow the trolley."

Someone better cap this.

>>89552323
Lazarus pit because R'as felt bad is much better than Superboy Prime punched reality really really hard in a fit of autistic nerd fury

Thor would solve the problem

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>>89551406

No. He stops the train from killing anyone because he's the Goddamn Batman!

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>>89551479
>>89551507
Jesus Christ, the memes are real

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>>89551897
should have been Alfred piloting the Batwing

>>89552762
This should be an actual Batman comic.

>>89551897
>>89554595
Should have been Alfred piloting the trolley.

>>89551406
He would untie them because he's a fucking superhero.

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>>89551661
>>89551739
>>89551801
>>89551994
>>89552187
>>89552511
>>89552915
>>89553210
>>89553904
goddamn, I am laffin

>>89555120
The only downside is that it's unrealistic. They forgot about the most important character who would always save the day: Slipknot.

>>89551406
He would recuse the one person on the tracks while using a baterang to flip the switch

>>89553210
did anyone get this?

Legitimately the best /co/ thread I've seen in months.

>>89552310
>>89552531

Honestly if a man is fat enough to stop a goddamn trolley he probably doesn't have very long left anyways.

>>89555264
Nowadays pushing the fat man would be seen as "fatphobic."

>>89553904
where are the teen titans when the adult ones fail?