this is so fucking stupid, holy shit

>>89439485
Magic in general is stupid.

>>89439485
>Look at they've bleeding done to me!

>>89439485
Remember when John Constantine WASN'T a bootleg Doctor Strange in a PG-13 comic book?

>>89439485
>>89439503

Magic in comics sucks, it is deux ex machina the superpower, with no defined limits.

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>>89439535
I sure do.

>>89439760
I've got the feeling that if this was done today, /co/ wouldn't stop shitposting about "lmao edge nothin personel kid".

>>89439535
Yeah, it's so goddamn stupid because they already have fucking Doctor Fate if they want to do that.

Constantine should never be doing outright magical spells like this. He's supposed to do all the occult fad shit and Aleister Crowley crap, except it actually works.

Not seeing the problem

>>89439578
This
Most fantasy world will have limits set on magic; what can and can't be done, how magic actually works, who can use magic, etc.
In cape comics it's just "I dunno, it does whatever we want it to do"

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>>89439523

>>89439485
wtf i hate constantine now

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>>89442766
It's a departure from the character's roots as a slum warlock.

Still better than the Keanu Reeves version

>>89439578
>>89442814
>marvelbabs want magic to be science

>>89439485
he looks like star lord, or star lord looks like him

>>89439535
>>89439760
>>89440855
Yeah this shit gets old. John isnt a fucking spell throwing wanker like everyone else, hes essentially a hobo among magicians and mostly just a con man. Its not about what spell he knows, its his wit at fucking you over with what little he has

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>>89439485
the whole movie was fuking retarded

oh look at us we are soo christian right now

we fight against demons , so we are on JEEEBUS side

pathetic christian jesus faggs targeting children with their mental illness

I am tired of the bog standard Phil Bourassa style too. Gods and Monsters was a godsend and they stopped it.

>>89445530
t. Former choir boi

>>89439857
if it was done today, it would be shit and /co/ would be right to shitpost about it

but it was not done today, so it is not shit

>expecting constant-TEEN to be good
ConstanTINE is dead and Azzarello killed him with his self-insert waifu fanfic.

I saw John Constantine once. It was the middle of the afternoon, I had just got off work and stopped to eat a hamburger on the way home. I walk into the restaurant, go to the bathroom to pee, and there he is. Standing at the urinal taking a piss with a cigarette in his mouth. We locked eyes as I walked into the room, he nodded at me, finished his piss, and left without saying anything.

>>89439485
This movie seemed just kind of dumb. Im also super pissed that they bothered to put Alec holland swamp thing but nerfed him so bad that he got offed by a guy his main power is supposed to be illusions and shit. Maybe im retarded and missed something, but this just seemed like they put almost no effort into the story. I mean, the fuck was the point of batman being there? The fuck was the point of any of the justice league being there?

>>89443350
As someone who does psychedelics about once every couple months, I can't even begin to tell you how unpleasant this would be. I think I would rather just fucking die honestly, although it would be difficult to distinguish the two in that situation.

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>>89439523
>Look at they've bleeding done to me!

>>89446192
Ennis is a prophet

>magic exists
>it can be learned the same way anyone learns any other subject
>the world isn't composed of billions of magicians
explain this.

>>89446429
It's like being a doctor or a theoretical physicist. Any wanker can do it, but they don't, because it's hard work.

>>89446429
>computers exist
>it can be learned the same way anyone learns any other subject
>the world isn't composed of billions of computer technicians
Replace magic or computers with whatever subject can produce some truly astonishing works and you'll get about the same thing.

This sort of ties into the OP image and topic too. Constantine also isn't anime magic bullshitting around the place. The magic is impressive, but it's not like you're going to be doing all the crazy, shallow shit people typically think of nowadays with magic in fantasy stories.

>>89446429
Correct me if i'm wrong, but don't most magicians in Hellblazer have pretty horrible ends?
That might be a disincentive.

>>89446480
Life in the Hellblazer world is generally shitty and ends badly for most people.

>>89446464
>>89446454
There are tens of millions doctors and computer technicians all over the world. Yet, you can literally count the number of magic users in the DCU on your fingers. Plus, there would be a really high demand of wizards in the military.

>>89446480
Hellblazer is not canon to DC, tho.

>>89446359
>Predicting shit that happened 6 years ago with Justice League Dark comics in New 52

>>89446454
This. If 'chaos magicians' were right and you could just throw together a haphazard patchwork of rituals from different systems and your own head and have it work, that wouldn't make much sense. But if you actually have to follow all the steps laid out in all the ancient medieval grimoires, etc.? That shit is complicated. You have to keep track of the phases of celestial bodies, procure almost impossible to find ingredients and combine them in the right way, recite obscure Hebrew or Sanskrit or unintelligible words with the proper pronunciations, some require you to be pure of heart and/or fast and/or refrain from sex acts for X amount of time, and if you actually pull it all off but screw one thing up, the listed consequences are dire. So most people don't have the patience to even try these things, and if they do they may not be able to get everything they need for it, and if they can and actually believe it'll work they also believe that they could lose their soul, become possessed, etc., if they screw up somehow. So yeah, that's all pretty prohibitive to there being many successful occultists around.

>>89446551
Conjob's stuff in Swamp Thing was

>>89446578
And? Action Comics is also canon to DC. But neither of those are Hellblazer. You dense?

>>89446609
But Swamp Thing did reference the shit that went down in Newcastle, so wouldn't that make it canon?

>>89446628
And Red Son and All Star Superman referenced Krypton exploding and they ain't canon.
Seriously, why are you so bad at understanding these things?

>>89446684
Krypton exploding isn't canon? What?

>>89446708
>Krypton is now a "they" and not an "it"
This is the last (you) you'll get from me.

>>89446725
But that's the way your analogue worked. I was talking about Swamp Thing, a DC book that's very much part of the main DC universe, where Constantine appears for the first time, where he talks about Newcastle. All those characters that appeared in that Hellblazer story arc that were also in Swamp Thing are canon. Those events happened.
The parallel you drew was ass-backwards.

>>89439503

I've always wanted to use this Doctor Strange quote.

"Too many magicians!"

>>89445488
Constantine has an absurd amount of luck, a batshit crazy dose of intuition, and a superb grasp of magical understanding as well as being the king of quick studies for supernatural politics and culture.
He doesn't throw bazooka class combat spells though. Or really, much of anything that's serious in terms of mojo.

Honestly, he always reminded me of Lucifer, excepting he doesn't have a metric ass-ton of power held in check for a key moment when it's needed.

>>89447366
I remember reading that three-issue mini that started Lucifer off and wondering why they were making another Hellblazer.
Glad it really picked up after that.

what happened with zatana? Why did she enter the avatar state?

>>89446464
>>89446577
Sort off topic but I always thought magic should be more like this in RPGs (and other fantasy things). Like you have to perform rituals and draw out manna or make the shape of different runes or sigils for stuff to happen. It really cheapens magic in games like Skyrim where any idiot can run around and blast people with lightning bolts like it's no big deal. It should have more.. gravity to it I guess.

>>89439485
You willingly watched something called Justice League Dark. Justice League. Dark.

Only yourself to blame.

Guys why are you surprised that a DC animated movie turned out to be shit?

Did you forget they all went to shit a long time ago? They definitely were good once

>>89443119
So, was Bueno just jacking off or did he join in on the action?

>>89445766
Is he a big guy?

>>89446551
Than read the fucking Rebirth book, you dense git. It's full of references to Delano's Hellblazer.

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>>89439485
Don't worry, he upgraded to a ray gun later.

>>89439578
No fan of Loki? But i forgot that the retarded Mousekeeters turned the mythological Norse Gods to mere aliens.

>>89449014
Not him, but I found it so boring

>>89439503
Fans like you, it's the reason why the Mouse can't deliver not even a decent Fantasy based Thor movie.

>>89445530
the begining part was amazing. But when the demons showed up it began PG12 for some reason. Those guys weren't intimidating or gross, they were Skeletor's henchmen tier.
Which really made that early part stupid and irrelevant.

>>89439578
dumb STR poster

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>>89449184
Only in the old Filmation cartoon, Skeletor's henchmen were a joke. The comics were a different story.

>>89448976
buttrape

>>89448219
Theres a Castlevania game where you have to draw Sigils to send boss-demons back to hell.
In Golden Sun you have little Djinn that you need to set up several turns in advance in order to use magic out of.

>>89449527
>Dawn of Sorrow
Unnecessary mechanic just included to show off the fiddly stylus.

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>>89446192
>>89446359

>>89439857
If it was posted today /co/ would just say
>WORDS WORDS WORDS

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>>89445632
>only nostalgia makes it good

>>89439485

>ANYTHING but vertigo constantine

>>89449087
why did DC let Ennis make fun of their current characters selling 5k copies an issue

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I dunno, I had fun

>>89443423
>Wanting consistency in something
>immediately go to company wars and belief vs. science

Truly, you are well educated on this subject.

>>89443119
What the hell is he fucking in this image?
Also did not know Constantine was one of Bueno Excellente's victims

is this at least better than Justice league: War, Throne of atlantis, and the killing joke

>>89443423
I....I actually liked the movie. Sure it was a HUGE departure from the comic, but it was solid, and boasts one of the best one screen Satans ever.

>>89450510
he's fucking guts, bueno's recent girlfriend, guts its a pile of sentient guts.
she pretty hot tho.

bueno jousted a tapeworm last mini for her.
and martian manhunter was scarred forever.

>>89449014
>read the fucking Rebirth
no.
Also, the movie is based off of the New 52 justice league dark. Your point is void.

This was the only good thing to come from the movie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ly57DEDz1sA

Him throwing fireballs at the end was dumb, but to be fair to this picture, he is using an artifact (wand) to shoot ice. And he only gets off like 8 shots before it starts to freeze him

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do u forgive me yet /co/

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>>89450721
>its a pile of sentient guts.
>she pretty hot tho.
never change, /co/.

>>89450681
I'm watching it now, loving it so far. Already better then the killing joke, though that's not exactly a very high standard

>>89451607
I enjoyed that movie more than the comics

>>89449940
Warioware integrated it better yea

>>89448998
Nah, a bit short. Maybe 5'8".

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>>89446551
In the original Hellblazer, John is always having dealings with minor magic users. Usually so they'll stick their necks out for him without realizing it. So they're out there. They just don't all do cape stuff. Also, read Books of Magic, there are dozens of magic users who are into cape stuff.

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>>89439857
But it is nearly always personal with Constantine.

>>89443423
Even science acts like that in comics.

>>89451659
She has a very cute personality. I would definitely fuck her if that didn't mean get butt-raped by Bueno.

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>>89445530
Get fucked heathen.

>>89443119
Constantine will fuck anything, literally anything as long as he fancies it won't he?

>>89445766
Not even joking, with the stories about authors meeting John, I considered writing fanfiction for a while.

>>89449128
Good.

>>89446359
Ennis is a faggot

>>89450510
>Kyle
>Lobo (still don't know how)
>Now Constanine
Fuck you Ennis

>>89453927
>Lobo (still don't know how)
Knocked him out via construction equipment and then married and fucked him while unconscious.

The dumbest part was King Arthur being only 1500 years ago.

Clearly they had only read the Once and Future King

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How many years are we away from this?

>>89454068
>What is Earth 13?

>let's take the worst thing about Half and make half the movie about it
>Also we'll make absolute sure to make Constantine constantly use flashy neon magic

Awful.

>>89451607
Still yet to get a legitimate reason why this isn't "proper" Constantine other than he's not English.

He doesn't use flashy magic at all. It's perfectly accurate to the comics.

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>>89454578
It's basically just the casting. (Shia as Chas is the worse offender, for my money, but a John who doesn't complain about British politics or talk about his old punk band jars too). 2005 script + Matt Ryan would make it perfect.