"Rejected" Nick Animated Shorts Pitch

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hey im jaden and I did a pitch to nickelodeon for the 2016 animated shorts program called The John Action Show

http://johnactionpitch.tumblr.com/
i read my rough sketchy 28-page comic aloud to them over a video call. there's a character page and a concept art gallery too but i didn't get to show it to them because my internet cut out

the pitch didn't end up getting picked up (it was out of like 500 pitches after all) but they said they really liked it, which i was super stoked about, and they gave me a lotta really good constructive crits- mainly that it was too long for a 3-minute short and that the villain was too funny and i should either focus more on the main characters or make the show be about the villain

i'm planning on completely redrawing/rewriting it from scratch for this year's program and i really hope i actually get picked up this time, if not im gonna keep trying anyway. but i figured i might as well put it here for people to read it and see if they like it or whatever.

also i do have an art blog (http://eckitout.tumblr.com/) if anyone wants to follow and an artstation (https://www.artstation.com/artist/ecksperience) for a more well-rounded idea of my better pieces