My comic idea

Forgot to remind you guys
>Picture not related

>>88769713
>Picture not related
tl;dr

>>88769705
>light is now a form of energy
Light actually is energy already though.

>>88769705
is this the /co/ equivalent of Keit-ai?

>>88769705
Good luck, anon

>>88769747
I understand, but this is not copypasta, i really just want feedback

>>88769736
It is, but now every human, plant, and animal now have light as energy for themselves.

>>88769794
I don't think you understand how light works, anon.

>>88769809
elaborate

>>88769819
You should probably read yourself.

>>88769705
Let's turn this shit into a comic book pitches thread

>>88769867
oh ur a funny guy, pls tell me more about how smart you are.

>>88769809
my man, in a world where the sun has prematurely exploded for some reason, and it's impossible for any lifeform on earth to continue existing and there still is someone alive, let alive an immortal king who runs a drug industry: I think you can forgo the regular common sense and science for the sake of "plot" convenience.

>>88769780
i don't even know where to start with feedback but let me just sum it up with this: it reads like it was written by a hyperactive ten year old.

Some of my thoughts on things to consider if you DO decide to refine this idea;
If the sun exploded, earth would be vaporized
I literally don't have a fucking clue what you're talking about with the light shit, and I suspect neither do you. As the other anon said, you oughta watch a magic school bus episode on light or something
Names are cringy as fuck trying to be too hard to be cool. They are Coldsteel-tier
Literally everything after the basic premise is fucking retarded and if you need someone to tell you why, I don't think I can help you there

>>88769984
Civilization could totally survive in a world without a sun though, even for thousands of years. It would entirely center around geothermal vents and deep underground caverns, along with heavy burrowing to reach heated inner layers of the earth, but it could feasibly survive and flourish for a long time even if the overwhelming majority of life perishes on the surface.

>>88770023
photosynthetic process would be completely halted and most life as we know depends on it, sure some bacteriae and fungi could survive but they don't photosynthetize oxygen.

Nothing to eat either.

A sun exploding would evaporate most things on the surface and may even peel the crust, the water would evaporate and the atmosphere would be singed for several decades.

File: 1459722491679.jpg (37KB, 348x342px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 348x342px

>>88769705
With a bit of tweeking and some more explaination I can see this working.

Questions:
>What caused the sun to explode and how did humans (and all life for that matter) survive being vaporized? Underground cities?
>How exactly does the explosion of the sun cause the landmasses of Earth to break up into five distinct islands?
>Why not have the forms of light be ROYGBIV, since those are the primary colors of light? Maybe you can combine a few colors if those are too much to work with.
>What exactly makes green and red rarer than blue and orange?
>Why did humanity decide to go back to having kings? Was the guy just that charismatic or does he have light powers which allow him to control minds?
>Why is it important that he controls the drug industry? What kind of drugs are being made and used?

>>88769705
Ok, cool, you've got your setting. What's the comic about? What's the plot?

>>88770058
>A sun exploding would evaporate most things on the surface and may even peel the crust, the water would evaporate and the atmosphere would be singed for several decades.

You dramatically underestimate the power of a supernova. A supernova wouldn't just evaporate most things and sing the atmosphere for decades, it disintegrates at the molecular level everything even remotely near (and by near, I mean on a cosmological scale). A single supernova is so powerful that it becomes billions of times as bright as all the stars in its native galaxy, combined. It's borderline incomprehensible how ludicrously powerful a supernova is. For reference, in a single nanosecond, a supernova can produce more energy than all power plants on earth operating at full capacity for 2.8 billion years. A supernova produces 220,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 watts.

There would well and truly be not a single iota of anything left.

>>88770152
Our sun isn't massive enough to go supernova, it won't explode so violently though, our sun has the mass to undergo a nova which is just the release of photospheric layers over the course of some years.

>>88769705
>the sun has exploded, leaving Earth decimated into 5 islands
Why start wrong? if the sun explodes, the earth is gone.

>>88770088
ok thankyou. Ill try answering them. Cause this is a fantasy/sci-fi, so some logic isnt necessarily there. Here i go into explaining it.
>There were two gods who lived in the sun, one had the yellow, and the other red.
>After millions of years of constantly fighting, the red god ends up cheating and killing off the gold god
>Gold god blows up sun to kill red god with it.
>Red god realizes death, and sends off his light energy onto one of the humans, which ends up being the underground king.
>Gold god, before death, releases the light energy onto the earth to allow the poeple to survive, but not everyone managed to get the energy, so majority of people died
>The humans were at a lost because of the dissarray, and so the red guy took it upon himself to make a puppet king, to control the people.
>The pupet king was nice, powerful, and charismatic, so everyone liked him
>the drugs gave sudden urges of light to surge the body giving people more power ina certain amount of time, so it becomes adddicting, but the people using it also become violent.
>the king is greedy, and wants to control all the money.

>>88770130
Read the last post about the questions i tiried asking, if still confused, ill answer more questions

>>88770195
So, the Red God was the evil, manevolent god and the Gold (Yellow) God was the good and benevolent one who cared about humans, right?

Also:
>Red god realizes death, and sends off his light energy onto one of the humans, which ends up being the underground king.
Why did the Red God choose to go inside the King specifically? What made him stand out? I'm also under the assumption that the King is the only human being with Red light inside of him.

Sorry if it seems like I'm pestering you, but it's good to ask yourself these questions in order to work things out for the world you want to create.

>>88770330
>inb4 "they're beyond good and evil"

I can't tell if this is a shitpost or not.

On the offchance it isn't, your "idea" is a generic adventure setup with your common class struggle and post-apocalypse wallpaper. You're just being lazier with your dressing than most and condensing several elements (wealth, status, direct power) into a single resource.

You haven't even started and there's redundancies. Why the FUCK does the secret king need a drug trade? You already established his light can make fucking anything and that light-energy is a direct thing that can be transported, utilized, and functionally replaces all prior forms of consumption. Who the hell is snorting coke when they can be buying ENERGY for their high? Why the shit would someone use drugs in an environment where metabolic functions are nonsense and all life subsists on a singular energy source?

You've got a vague concept for a setting that isn't terribly creative and requires some mental gymnastics, and the vague inkling of some plot points but no story. If you're serious, study up on creative writing 101 and then come back to this when you have an actual story.

>>88770210
Ok, so what's gonna happen with Jax and Hunter? what adventure are they going to experience?

>>88770330
no no, ask away.
>The guy was also mad at the world for always screwing him over, no one hires him, death of parents, he has ocd, in a state of depression
>Becomes a serial killer
>Red god chooses that certain guy to make sure earth dies

>>88770405
is the king you?

>>88770417
Anon, nobody would ever make a mary sue self insert in a webcomic, stop being silly.

>>88770353
Ok so the king can only create things, so no mind control
>Also the king isnt human, its a thing, but noone has seen it up close, so they assume he is human.
>There was a group of scientists who developed this drug, but later the king found it and made it his own type of drug trade.
Lol did u finally get past 9th grade biology, and just wanted to say something edgy?

>>88770417
Also no its not me lol

>>88770379
Dont wanna go into too much detail, but they need to locate a few items

>>88770524
You can give a outline of the plot without spoiling important stuff.
Why are they even going on adventures? What's up with these items? Why do they need to find them?

>>88770541
After Tom dies, Jax has to leave because the king wants to get rid of Jax, so they go to souther islands, cuz they were close to that bridge.
Then they run for a bit.
Oh yeah Hunter goes with him.
Then some stuff happpens
>Sorry i really dont want to say too much

>>88770471
>Telling someone that they fail to grasp the fundamentals of writing is "edgy."
>Failing to understand that introducing the whole drug angle is an unnecessary complication when you already simplified basic human needs, energy as a whole and wealth into a single thing.

And you seriously think it's a good idea to insult people who bother to pick apart your half-baked ideas? Christ, anon. For your sake I hope this really is just bait.

>>88770629
That's not a plot. That's a series of events.

"And then this happens" doesn't build a story, you need to understand what your objectives are and what you want to achieve by creating the story.

>>88770697
i have the plot
I just dont want to say it to a bunch of random people
>if u want to read my entire plot put ur email down, adn ill add u to the drive on which im working on this project on
>i know u wont so i can only say so much

>>88770651
>failing to be this edgy

>>88770651
I know where u are gettting at let me see if i can explain to u
>Light that living things have is not some final energy source, on which basic human needs is thrown out hte window.
>Light gives people some upgrades (when they are using it), when theyre not using it is just being stored in the body, letting people breathe the air that is toxic cause wasteland.
>Light gives warmth, although they do have building set up underground
>Light is constantly being used by plants
>Hunger is a thing, thats why animals have the light too, too allow them to live off the air, and eat the plants
>Drugs, which i think ur really against, is just like saying, why are there drugs currently when people can just not take it. Human life is complex dude.
>The drugs are addicting, and people come back for more
>Also the king needs the money for certain reasons

>>88770746
Anon.....I hate to break this to you and I don't mean to be malicious in any way, but this idea is most likely never going to become a thing unless you actually form a solid idea that doesn't involve useless plot devices like the drugs.

>>88769809
Lol

>>88770163
It would explode enough to end all life all the way to earth. I should also point out that without the Sun, life would end in about two weeks; no plants, no herbivores, and then no carnivores. Did they make that energy only after the explosion, or was it something that already existed? If it was later it wouldnt make any sense.

>>88770912
I explained this already

>>88770898
I understand where u are coming from, cause i am leaving a lot out that u guys dont know of yet, but i do have everything explained. The drugs are necessary, in a way.

>>88770995
You explained about the gods, and not how humans survived a goddamn Sun exploding, and how all other forms of life are still there considering in how little time they would all die.

>>88769705
how do they keep warm? and also what about the gravity changes?

>>88769705
..I remember one manga that was posted on /tg/ on a thread about world building. Unfortunately i don't have it to post here, but the entire thing is awesome; the lesson is: you start at a basic concept and work towards making it more interesting and complicated. On the manga, students are tasked to create a story about a war between two groups; i think they chose rabbits and ducks. And then as the students question, the story is developed; why are they fighting? because one nation stole land from other. Why they stole? because they needed the lands to produce more food. Why? because another nation was stealing their wealth. Why were they stealing? because the old dynasty of rabbits used to attack the cats, and now that the new rebel group took power they started to make demmands.. but why are the rabbits weaker than them..? ...

The way you did it.. it just looks like you didn't develop the ideas.

>>88771646
Thank u ill try fixing it and giving it a stable base