The Story of our Lord and Savior Alvis

File: vlcsnap-2016-12-25-00h48m55s802.png (203KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

203KB, 480x360px

>A young woman in the party called Delia, was heavy with child. And though she had journeyed with the virile young men for nigh on one year, none had lain with her, though she was comely.

File: vlcsnap-2016-12-25-00h49m18s277.png (248KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

248KB, 480x360px

>And on this frosty winter's night, young Delia's water broke, almost freezing her to the seat of the wagon.

File: vlcsnap-2016-12-25-00h49m44s008.png (276KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

276KB, 480x360px

>And the pioneers beseeched the soldiers to grant them entrance, so that she could give birth to her child in the hospital there. But, due to an outbreak of syphilis among the soldiers, the hospital was full.

File: vlcsnap-2016-12-25-00h49m54s446.png (192KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

192KB, 480x360px

>And So there in the the stable among the feed and the tack the whatsis, Delia gave birth to a son, whom she called Alvis as was her wont.

File: vlcsnap-2016-12-25-00h50m41s648.png (266KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

266KB, 480x360px

>And since none of the men in the party were the father, it was decided among them that the birth of this child must truly be a miracle!

File: vlcsnap-2016-12-25-00h51m01s275.png (184KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

184KB, 480x360px

>And it was so... for above the fort, there suddenly and miraculously appeared an awesome and mighty comet!

File: vlcsnap-2016-12-25-00h51m08s066.png (236KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

236KB, 480x360px

> And so brilliant was its light, that there came from all the tribes, which the soldiers had not yet decimated, shamans!

File: vlcsnap-2016-12-25-00h51m21s999.png (281KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

281KB, 480x360px

>And they rode upon Buffalo, as was their heathen custom, bearing gifts - offerings of whiskey and firearms.

File: vlcsnap-2016-12-25-00h51m33s107.png (196KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

196KB, 480x360px

>And when the shamans saw the child they were in awe. For he glowed as if bathed in a light which was truly not of this world.

And it was good. Enjoy your Alvistime, /co/. Make sure you celebrate with plenty ham and pomp.

And for all you Krebs, Mandus, and other witches, seek the saving bosom of Alvis or be shot and bitchslapped to the fiery depths of hell.

AAALVISUJAH

ALVISUJAH
ALVISUJAH
ALVIIIISUJAAAAH

>>88659647
He killed for your sins, Anon. May you beat the ass of many a nonbeliever.

>>88659207
I dont know why that last line is so funny but I almost had a spit take