The CW's RIVERDALE

>There's a weird mystery
>They're investigating it

Alright, show. You have my attention.

>>88630009
Ha ha nice hat.

Nice hair.

>>88630009
Are they gonna fuck or what?

>>88630009
When does the Punisher show up?

>>88630009
This looks pretty bad.

>>88630009
Could they not have just found a real ginger somewhere in the entirety of the United States. That dyejob with that skin tone makes him look like a corpse.

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>>88630009
Mr.lodge, Pop tate and Moose better be perfectly cast. Moose for dumb football jock fap sessions.

>>88630749
So you're saying they did a good job.

not very realistic all things considered

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>>88630749
>Go on /hm/
>Find the ginger thread
>All those could be archies
WHY CW WHY

>>88630749
He doesn't appear to have freckles, either.

And why on earth is he fucking the teacher?

Where's Jughead's crown? The toque is a poor substitute.

>>88630795
>Thinking they'd have someone wearing a felt crown in 2016

>>88630795
This isn't very good nitpicking.

>>88630749
With Hollywood's habit of casting niggers in the role of gingers, just be happy that he's actually white.

R.I.P
>Wally West
>Jimmy Olsen
>MJ Watson

>>88630304

are they investigating a Murderer in their quiet suburban town?

is the killer someone who just wants a quiet life?

>>88630886
They're making a live action Archie show.

If they're gonna do that then it's already stupid enough to justify the crown.

>>88630892
The freckle part is nitpicking, but him fucking the teacher isn't.

Also we don't see Jughead eat any hamburgers.

>>88630983
I'd be more scandalized by Archie fucking the teacher if Dawson's Creek hadn't done it in the 90s. If anything this is a throwback to the olden days.

>>88631041
Archie has always been about Veronica and Betty fighting over the right to by CORPSE'D, why have a subplot about him fucking the teacher, too?

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>>88630760
Mr. Lodge so far isn't in it. As for Moose and Pop, you be the judge.

Moose.

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>>88631087
And Pop.

>>88631115
Where's the moustache

>>88630009

I still don't understand why you would cast some half Maori kid as the all American Teenager. The dye job is pretty obvious

>>88631084
Probably because the triangle isn't that interesting and he needs something else to do with his penis while freeing them up for lesbian stunts during sweeps. They can bring the triangle in whenever they want/run out of ideas.

>>88630917
>just be happy that he's actually white.

>New Zealand
>White

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>>88631087
>>88631115
>Not Blond buff stocky Moose
I can't fap to this
>Black Pop
>No Mr. Lodge yet
CW LITERALLY WHY

>>88631159
They were going to have to dye some hair regardless of who they cast. The list of young, hot male actors in Hollywood with natural red hair is not that long.
>>88630917
He's not white, he's mixed.

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>>88630749
They could at the very least dye his pubes too.

>>88631166
>Probably because the triangle isn't that interesting
The triangle is the only thing people know about Archie.
>while freeing them up for lesbian stunts during sweeps.
I really hope they don't do this.

>>88631204

Why bring a kid over from New Zealand though. Has he been in something noteworthy I haven't heard about?

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>>88631204
But Archie isn't hot.

>>88630304
Archies Weird Mysteries cane out 17 years ago

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>>88630917
I guess you can say orange is the new BLACKED

>>88631223
Archie's hotness is both a logical necessity in his universe and a practical necessity for the CW.

>>88630009
Archie x Jughead on-screen kiss and make out session WHEN?

>>88631223

He should be. All those hot girls lusting after a buck toothed Ginger is ridiculous

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>>88631206
Out of the loop, aren't we?

>>88631263
Man, fuck this. Of all the properties.

Fuck this "CURRENT YEAR LGBT" bullshit.

>>88631306
>Sees hot chicks making out
>All that is seen are SJWs

What happened to you, /co/? You used to be cool.

>>88631306
>he doesn't know this is laying the groundwork to finally resolve the triangle by turning it into a threeway
Possibly a fourgy if they can spike Jughead's burger.

>>88631348
To be fair, lesbianism is basically a meme nowadays.

>>88631348
Some people can see past the immediacy or something.

Besides, ever imagine some people might not be into lesbianism?

>>88631354
But that's stupid.

>>88630009
this still feels like a joke to me

>>88631377
>Besides, ever imagine some people might not be into lesbianism?
Yes, they're called homosexuals.

>>88631377
Then don't watch the show, idiot.

>>88631254
Do asexuals kiss?

>>88631378
It's a joke in exactly the same way Afterlife with Archie is a joke. It's even the same guy.

>>88631403
>Yes, they're called homosexuals.
Yeah man, only homos are sick of gayness being pushed down their throats.
>>88631413
I don't intend to.

>>88631479
You seem awfully triggered, my friend. Perhaps what you need is a safe space?

>>88631479
Anon, lesbian kiss episodes have been around for decades and have absolutely nothing to do with drawing in lgbt people. Stop being such an idiot.

>>88631423
I though Jughead was hamburgersexual?

>>88630749
>That dyejob with that skin tone makes him look like a corpse.

So exactly like an actual ginger?

>>88631529
Yup, but in both 90's Archie timelines (that's the Life With Archie series) he ended up married to Midge or Ethel.

Hot cool gay kevin keller or Bitchy twink gay Kevin?

>>88631555
Both asexuals and burgersexuals can still get married. They're just less unlikely to initiate a relationship with another human.

>>88631494
Oh man, you sure got me! Yep, why would anyone object to ANOTHER modern interpretation of a classic story making major characters gay?

>>88631495
And it's still stupid, seeing as it's a ploy to cash in on modern trends.

But hey, at least anon gets to fap to it.

>>88631604
>why would anyone object to ANOTHER modern interpretation of a classic story making major characters gay?
Because you're triggered?

>>88631598
Less likely, even.
>>88631604
>cashing in on trends that started over 30 years ago
Fuck off.

>>88631604
Calm down, Sonny. They're not even gay.

>>88631598
Didn't Jughead say the only girl he'd ever kiss would be Betty?

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>>88631529
>>88631555
That must have been a very disappointing marriage for them then. Anyway looks like the show hasn't decided yet, coming out and telling people you don't want sex, it's the next big thing!

>http://www.mtv.com/news/2941309/riverdale-jughead-jones-asexual-jon-goldwater-new-york-comic-con-archie-panel/

>>88631645
>That must have been a very disappointing marriage for them then

Actually, nah.
At that point Modern Jughead had become very much emotionally open but still shaggy level appetite.

>>88631618
Why don't you go back to /u/?

>>88631620
The shocking lesbian kiss thing started in the 90's and now it's literally everywhere.

>>88631622
Bi. Whatever, same shit.

>>88631675
They're experimenting, you sheltered dumbass. How have you never heard of this

>>88631675
Nobody cares about your precious fee-fees you stupid piece of shit. Go whine somewhere else.

>>88631675
>Why don't you go back to /u/?
Make me, /co/mblrina. No, really, I'd love to see you try and make me leave. This'll be good for a laugh I bet.

>>88631645
It's pretty easy to depict an asexual on tv.
>turn down a girl
>turn down a boy
>continue eating lunch

>>88631688
>They're experimenting, you sheltered dumbass. How have you never heard of this
That's a lot to infer from a single leaked screenshot.

>>88631704
How about you go fuck yourself instead? There's plenty of gay shit for you degenerates to jerk it to.

>>88631709
>calling me a /co/mblrina
You've never been more wrong. Besides, tumblrinas would love this "gay representation".

>>88631688
Not even that, Cheryl Blossom just said they'd only get in the cheerleading squad if they kissed and they actually did it, the absolute madwomen.

>>88631748
>tumblr loves lesbian kiss episodes
lol ok

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>>88631748
>You've never been more wrong
Nope, I'm not the one who's crying about some fictional shit and whining to the Internet like we're some kind of personal blog or some shit.
>Besides, tumblrinas would love this "gay representation".
Nah, they'd complain about "queer fetishizing" or shit.

Man, you're really not very bright, are you?

>>88631818
Progressives love it when a character comes out as gay.

>>88631820
>Nope, I'm not the one who's crying about some fictional shit and whining to the Internet like we're some kind of personal blog or some shit.
Yeah, because why even have standards? It's all meaningless anyway, right?
Because clearly you "IT'S TWO HOT CHICKS KISSING" guys are full of standards. Maybe, just maybe, some people don't like seeing their childhood characters changed in stupid ways for vapidity sake? As the anon above said, lesbianism is the "in" thing now.

>Man, you're really not very bright, are you?
Right back at you. Now please, go back to /u/ or /a/ and stop shitting up boards with your degeneracy.

>>88631820
He's either baiting or underage. Just report.

>>88631907
>Maybe, just maybe, some people don't like seeing their childhood characters changed in stupid ways for vapidity sake?
Bet you're typing this shit while wiping away the tears on your eyes, ain'tcha, fag? Having a good laugh at the thought right now, not gonna lie.

>degeneracy
Oh, so you're either a crossboarder from /pol/ or someone who drank their kool-aid. Either way, YOU're better off leaving, bucko, because /co/ ain't chainging for you.

Spoilers for the first four episodes.

Archie gets buff working with his dad over the summer and is seduced by Ms. Grundy. While they're in her car, parked by the cabin, they hear a gunshot.

Golden boy Jason Blossom is missing, and Archie wants to go to the police, but Ms. Grundy dissuades him because she'd be arrested for statutory rape. Archie is in love with her, so he decides not to speak out. Jughead finds out and gets pissed at Archie.

Betty has a crush on Archie and is often bullied by Jason's twin sister, Cheryl Blossom. As it turns out, Jason was dating Betty's sister Polly Cooper, who had a nervous breakdown, and the Cooper family blamed Jason for it. Betty's mom Alice Cooper is a total bitch who often belittles her daughter.

Kevin Keller is Betty's best friend and is openly gay, and wants someone to settle down with after numerous hookups. He ends up hooking up with Moose, who is dating Midge, but appears to be in the closet and wants to keep their relationship a secret.

Veronica moves back to Riverdale with her mother Hermione after Hiram Lodge is arrested in a financial scandal. Hermione grew up in Riverdale and was apparently involved with Archie's dad Fred Andrews in the past. Fred, Hermione and Alice have some sort of secret going on.

Veronica befriends Betty and begins undermining Cheryl. Cheryl then begins stirring up trouble between Archie, Betty and Veronica. Archie is in love with Ms. Grundy, but gets very attracted to Veronica when she shows up, but she's unwilling to make a move because of Betty, who likewise confesses her feelings for Archie. In the end, they decide to stay as friends for the time being.

In the end of the first episode, Jason's body washes ashore during the Riverdale Homecoming Dance, and it is quickly figured out what while he disappeared on a secret boating trip with Cheryl and was presumed dead by drowning, he was actually held captive, tortured for a week and finished off with a gunshot.

>>88631978
Jughead sets out to investigate and slowly Archie, Betty, Veronica and Kevin team up with him.

Archie wants to be a singer and songwriter instead of going into the construction business like Fred wants or pursuing professional football like Coach Clayton wants. He then attempts to convince Josie to take him as a songwriter, but Josie is having none of it at first.

Reggie is the most popular kid in school and gets butthurt when Archie shows up all pumped, and with a lot of ladies thirsty for his dick, and wants revenge. He's an asshole to many people, including Big Ethel, who teams up with Betty and Veronica to give him some payback. Ethel then ends up dating an "unexpected" someone.

Jughead's dead turns out to be the leader of a vicious gang of criminals, the Southside Serpents. Archie's mom also shows up two years after leaving her family to pursue her dreams in the big city. It also appears that at some point either Archie or Fred will be framed for Jason's murder, although everyone has a motive because most people in town hate the Blossom family.

Archie eventually breaks up with Ms. Grundy when it becomes clear she doesn't love him and finds himself falling for Betty and Veronica all over again. He makes a "definitive" choice by the season finale.

In the season finale Sabrina will show up to set up season 2.

>>88631965
>Bet you're typing this shit while wiping away the tears on your eyes, ain'tcha, fag? Having a good laugh at the thought right now, not gonna lie.
Well, you're wasting your time, then. I'm more amused at your attempts to be the "cool, reasonable" guy when you've not even attempted to tell me why I shouldn't be annoyed at yet another "classic, established character is now gay/black/etc" thing.

We're on /co/, man. We bitched about Iceman being gay, about Ultimate Peter being replaced with Miles, about Wolverine being replaced with Laura, about the entirety of New 52 Harley, etc

So I'd say you better get the fuck off /co/, since you're the one demanding change for change's sake. Clearly you'd appreciate /u/ or /lgbt/ much more.

>>88631978
>>88632091
Sounds terrible. I'll probably end up watching every episode.

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>>88632091
Will we get a Sabrina spin off that looks like an Dario Argento film and she meets Hellboy.