I am going to rob a bank This is not a riddle

>>88395263
I bet you think you're real clever

>>88395263
Are you not wearing shoes ... Or are you shoes sewn into your Onesy?
I'm not sure which seems weirder to me.

What did he mean by this?

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Pffft. Just you wait till WestBats gets here.

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NICE TRY, JERKER, BUT I GOT UR JERK FIGORED OUT!

PUT FIRST LETTERS TOGATHER TO MAKE IAGTRAB TINAR! NAME OF INTERLAC TRADING AMBASSADOR VISITANG UN TOMMOROW! U PLAN TO STEAL ALL THE SPACE MONIES! I BE THERE TO STOP U!

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I thought I was Batman.

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>>88395263
Nice try you corrupt conundrum, but you're not match for me. Rob does not necessarily mean to steal, it could mean to be over priced, and a bank could refer to a slope near a river! Now, that could mean a number of things, but you gave it away by saying that this is not a riddle, riddle meaning something is covered in holes. So if it's not a riddle, then it wouldn't be covered in holes. Now what's something that can't be covered in holes? A kayak of course! Else it would sink! The answer is obvious, Mr. Müller, who happens to be German like the root word of rob, owns the kayak shop by the Gotham lake, which happens to be located next to the lake's bank! That's where he must be holding the bombs, my young ward! That ferocious fiend! The children of Gotham /must/ have the lake open for their break from school to stay relaxed and groovy! Quickly Robin, to the batmobile!

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>Am I not Batman? I'm rich. I have a spaceship. A talkshow. A mantis band leader. All things Batman's supposed to have.

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And Moltar.

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>And Moltar. Everyone knows Batman has a Moltar. It's in Batman issue where Batman has Moltar

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Moltar, what issue did you help me catch The Question Mark when he was robbing that bank?

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Uh...88395263.

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Yeah, I thought so. We found out The Question Mark was going to rob that bank and then we stopped him.

Good times.

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>I'm Batman. I knew it.

>>88397222
he's wearing shoes underneath the onesy

This has been enjoyable

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you have a big fat head space ghost

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>>88397561
11/10, Batman does it again!

>>88397474
>>88397511
>>88397541
>>88397580
>>88397611
>>88397640
>>88397673
>>88397707
>>88397786
>>88397818
>>88397845
>>88397906

wew

Silly space ghost.
You're Green Lantern, not Batman.

>>88395263
What did he mean by this?

>>88397561
Underrated post

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>>88397561
>No mention of Ceci n'est pas une pipe
Missed oportunity.

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>>88397561
Well done, Batsy!

Now what are you going to do about those bombs I hid at the casino on the other side of town and rigged to go off once Eddie Boy's are disarmed?

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>>88401108
Oh you juvenile jester, if only I could be deceived so easily. I sprayed the casino three nights ago with my Bat-anti-explosion spray knowing you'd try and pull a heinous heist like this. I guess you could say that your plans were a bit too bombastic.

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>>88401199
You're no fun at all.

Oh well, guess I'll have some fun with those teenage runaways I've got chained to the radiator.

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>>88401289
If only things were that simply my dear, Joker, but as usual it wasn't. As I was busy spraying the casino with my bat-anti-explosion spray, I noticed that there was a foot print on the ground nearby. The substance in question that left that mark was oil, so I decided to have a stop by the Gotham oil reserves to see if on the off chance there was something I over looked, and indeed there was. I found the teenagers and set them free. After giving them a lesson about how their parents truly loved them and how they should obey the rules they've set before them, they all went home. Not without giving them some of my famous Bat-cookies of course!

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>>88401416
Oil reserves? I live in an apartment, you dope.

>>88401467

Everybody knows you live in an abandoned circus manufacturing plant

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>>88401467
And that's all I needed to know where the teenagers are. Thank you for falling into my hands.

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>>88401624
Oh wait, I forgot to mention, I'm not home at the moment. My new hideout is in the basement of that failed gay bar that opened up last year. And I've installed new locks on the door leading to the basement. They're connected to the glory holes!

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>>88402006
Dammit Batman, you heard the lunatic, what are you waiting for? UNDO THE LOCKS.

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>>88402006
>>88402128
Nice try you two, but I applied some of my bat-anti-homosexual spray this morning.

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>>88395263
>>88401624
>>88401416
>>88401199
>>88397561
Riddler threads are always the best thing on /co/.

>>88397561
I was waiting for this response. It did not disappoint.

>>88397561
Actually they make kayaks out of material that would float even if the boat was shattered to pieces.

It's cement canoes that would sink.

>>88402273
So that's why Robin is not around right now.

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>>88402273
yeah? riddle me this, spandex. who's parents didn't die of old age to leave them to be raised a cook by and aging British guy just doing it for job security?

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>>88403324
kook, rather.

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God I've had a shitty day today and I needed this thanks /co/

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>>88397561

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>>88403324
Well that's a tricky one, Albert Einstein. Your question implies that the people in question didn't die of old age /and/ let /themselves/ be raised by a British person. Let us deconstruct this riddle. A cook refers to an insane individual, and where do you put insane individuals? Why the mental asylum my dear, /co/. And what better place than Gotham's very own Arkham Asylum. Which happened to be created by a certain Amadeus Arkham, whom when tracking back his heritage we can see is of English decent. Now any history buff with a proper education given by our fair city could tell you, his parents did not die due to old age. And as those very same history students would tell you, he took care of his dying mother. The care of a British man! Now about that pesky job security, security. A state of being free of danger. You want to endanger Gotham by using your robots to spring all the inmates at Arkham loose with your robots! Well, not today Evil Albert Einstein. I'll be there to stop your bots before you can say holy juvenile jailing justice!

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>>88404159
Not everything has to be a riddle, Bruce. I think you may have a problem.

I mean, you know. Another one.

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Jesus Christ, Batman, just let me rob one bank. Here's a collection of sea salts from the fancy store.

Just...just one. It's Christmas.

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>>88397561
I would have just ran him over, but nice job.

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>>88404356
Oh no, my once young ward, not you too! You said I have a problem, which is something that must be solved. Much like a riddle, is that what you're telling me? That I have another riddle? Let us see, a riddle could also mean a large coarse sieve. But not everything has to be, so this would imply that I am not using a riddle at this moment. Hmmm 'another one' could refer to the internet sensation DJ Khaled, who happens to be in Gotham for the BBQ cook off we're having, whose food you wouldn't need a sieve, but what, my young ward? What could possibly be going on there?!? And why are you too speaking in such rigorous rambunctious riddles?!?

>>88404423
Jesus Christ? As in the religious figure? Oooooh, Riddler, you can't pull one over me that easily! Now let's look at these sea salts. Hmmmm, sea, as in a lot of something. And salt would be used for the slang word which describes an experienced sailor. Now let's delve deeper into this. The fancy store? There's no such store as a 'fancy store', so it must be a descriptor. Fancy could refer to a painting that draws more from surreal fiction than real life. And just one...what could it possibly...BUT OF COURSE! There is only one...just one museum in Gotham! The Gotham museum! Who are holding a special for Christmas, the celebration of Jesus Christ's birth where they will be giving discounts to all fine citizens who have served in the navy, salts if you will. Now I suspect there will be a lot of them, a sea if you will. So your plan must involve the Gotham museum somehow, and I think I know what. You want to rob one bank, but not just "a bank" like most people are familiar with! No, you want to steal the museum's famous "The Bank of the Seine"! Well, you'll have to get through /me/ first!

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>>88404943
No offense, but you've gone insane Batman.

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>>88405179
Hmmmm, no offense, meaning there is no crime being commited. Gone, reaching a specific time in pregnency. Insane, in a state of annoyance. But of course! With us not there at the BBQ, the commissioner must have hired Bozo the clown, who is annoying our guests at this great city! While no crime is being committed we /should/ show up so that everyone has an upside to their visit. Great thinking, Robin.

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>>88404943
JUST. TAKE. THE GOD. DAMN. SEA. SALT. AND. LEAVE. ME. ALONE...to rob the gotham museum cough

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>>88405529
You're slipping, Riddler. Those spaced in between each word indicates it was a code for something. Taking all the first letters of the words and converting them into numbers we get 10 20 20 7 4 19 19 1 12 13 1. You saying cough indicates you were sick. Where do sick people go in Gotham? Why, the Gotham hospital of course! Which is where your secret tunnel is into the museum is! The code you gave me before, 10 20 20 7 4 19 19 1 12 13 1, is the pass code to get into your not so secret tunnel.

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>>88405529
Just get out of here, Nigma. It's Christmas and Batman needs his special happy pills again. I'll take care of him, don't worry. See you next week.

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>>88405815
I take it back. I was going to the museum now I'm just going to the bank. Call Gordon. Tell him to meet me there. I just can't take this anymore. It's the Gotham Bank. You know which one it is because like everything else in this stupid city there's only one of them and it has 'Gotham' in front of it.

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>>88405931
Taking it back? What are you taking back exactly? You said to meet you, meet can also mean to fulfill the fantasy of. And you just want everyone to hold you and your knowledge above all others. You said it, but that could easily be interpreted as I.T., information and technology. YES OF COURSE! That one time the man from the IT went from the Gotham Library, passed the Gotham ice cream stand, and went into the Gotham bank with a bomb! That's why you said to call Gordon, because it happened on his first year on the job! You want to take the bomb back to the Gotham bank and blow everyone up there, then you feel people will finally notice your intelligence! Quickly, Robin, we must stop him!

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>>88405920
No, my young ward, I'm afraid that wont happen. I purposely said that pregnant bit at in the hopes that you would question it, and, well...I think it's important you hear this.......

>>88406191
Bruce. It's over. I caught him. We've won. Drink this.

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>>88406240
Robin....It's yours.....Must have been from that day I forgot to put on my bat-anti-homosexual spray.

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>>88406283

>>88395263
Was it the Riddler's plan to make Batman go crazy from all these riddles? Ingenious

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Best thing on /co/ all day.